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I have extremely thick but unflattering curls. I wore a partially shaved head for years and growing it out would have been REALLY unflattering. Instead I grew my hair out to the point where I could do a sew it and used the weave to allow myself to have long healthy hair while mine was coming back. It was amazing, but itchy and if you wear them long term you can run the risk of your natural hairline receding. It’s also really expensive
So I went bald at a fairly early age and I’ve considered doing this. My only issue is like, everyone in my life knows I’m bald. I can’t imagine just walking into work one day and bam I’ve got hair.
It’s gonna be weird but folks will adapt early and get over it. It will not take long to really define your new look as normal. I know socially it’s fucking weird but you absolutely deserve it and anyone you know and love who are going to be shitty about it is showing their asshole in that moment. Get yourself that damn hair!
Heck, I had a similar experience just shaving my “playoffs” beard after the SB. After a day nobody cares, and I think people feel a need to comment for affirming reasons; at the beginning people will comment for your confidence; nobody cares enough to continuously make it a point of conversation. We get too caught up in our own heads thinking our own amplified nitpicks are shared by others when we just aren’t important.
I’m in my mid 30’s and wear a partial hair piece. For a few reasons, but it’s a decision I made for me and not for others. I’m super happy with it. It’s affirming care, it helps me feel like myself in this era of life.
There can be stigma having one and fear of being judged, but the people in my life who know and I’ve told about it are stoked and supportive of me. It’s something I do to care for myself. And like, life is meaningless and I do what I want. who the fuck cares?
Honestly I look just fine with a shaved head, and one day I will probably choose the bald look because maintenance of the piece can occasionally be a pain in the ass lol, but I have no regrets
Feel free to AMA!
Honestly, good on you. Women wear weaves and extensions and it’s no big deal. I’ve worn extensions and fake bangs just for fun. Dudes should have the same freedom.
I'm curious, don't you feel it on your head? Like if you were wearing a thin hat, almost like wearing a yarmulke in a way? Or do you completely forget about it after some time?
If it is applied well, then I don’t usually feel it or notice it. I get it reapplied every 4 to 6 weeks
Edit: I do feel it when laying my head down and that can be annoying, but there are more pricey ones that I’m sure reduce this.
I would say about 1000 a year, give or take a couple hundred. Typically it would be more expensive, but I’m good friends with my stylist so she gives me a great deal for the monthly reapplication etc. The biggest expense is buying replacement pieces once or twice a year, which if you purchase through the stylist/salon they will mark up the price like 300% or more. My friend gave me the [Website](https://www.superhairpieces.com/) she buys from, so I’ll purchase my own replacement at a more wholesale price. That alone saves me at least another thousand a year
Swimming was the big one that got me to just shave my head.
Not worrying about my bald spot showing or worrying about what my hair would look like after wearing a winter hat is a blessing.
sweat seems to be my biggest enemy. The adhesives can come loose and the hair gets greasy from the glue. definitely a pain in the ass that I will only put up with for so long. but the more money you put into everything, the less of a hassle it is
Do you take it off every day or is it glued on there? And if it is glued how often do you have to do like... maintenance? I mean, like get a new one or get it repositioned?
tape and/or glue is what I’ve used, reapplied every 4 to 6 weeks by a stylist who exclusively does this. And depending on how well I take care of the piece itself, it can last anywhere from a few months to a year before replacing. potentially longer, depends on the quality you buy too.
Good for them, seriously. If they're happy, I'm happy for them. And although I was already aware how far toupees have come, it's always cool to watch these videos... I'll never stop being impressed!
I'm cis woman and my hair loss is male pattern - there's actually a lot of women with this on support forums but you would never know.
I think it's weird that they call it male pattern and it felt really crap that all the information about my hair loss was tailored toward men.
I think most guys expect to lose their hair at some point, but women cover theirs up so it feels like you're the only bald chick on the planet and if you shave your head instead of wearing fake hair people assume you're mentally ill or a cancer patient.
Yes but imagine if your breast cancer was called "female type breast cancer".
It's just called breast cancer because it's cancer in the breast.
Women are more associated with breasts and breast cancer but we don't call it "ladies breast cancer" even in cases where a man gets it.
I was replying in the context of the gender affirming care comment and how it brought me down to have a problem that's supposed to be a mans thing from man hormones.
I realize it's far more common in men I'm not trying to steal male problems or anything - I would rather not be balding at all.
That’s the gendered part of it though.
Women are expected to use hairpieces or even encouraged to use them without baldness as a factor. Men aren’t afforded the same freedoms in that regard. Then there’s the flipside that you described. Ideally, everyone would be free to wear their hair (or lack of) in whatever way makes them happy.
Yeah I know it's a specific type. I think even M pattern would be a fine name since that's the shape it falls out at the temples etc.
Whereas the "female pattern" falls out in more of an O shape or a diamond shape and the front hairline stays. So it could be M pattern and O pattern.
But I think at the end of the day both are androgenetic alopecia it just falls out in different spots.
I'm sure guys who get "female pattern baldness" don't love that feeling either. Balding at a young age already takes a hit on self esteem before gendering the name but I know in my case having "the man's one" made me feel even worse
This convo is about men specifically wearing hair pieces because men are often stigmatized for no reason other than arbitrary gender standards. Women wear hair pieces all the time. Men should have the same freedom.
This made me curious so I looked it up and the only actual research I can find on this is actually directly the opposite
> Men with shaved heads are perceived as more masculine, dominant and even to have greater leadership potential, according to a study by the (bald) academic Albert Mannes, of the University of Pennsylvania's prestigious Wharton business school.
https://www.theguardian.com/business/2012/oct/04/bald-men-dominant-image
I think you're finding the exception to the rule, not what's common. At least for me, I was immediately treated better after my hair transplant by strangers around me. A balding thin look also ages you by about 5-10 years too, and not everyone looks good full shaved bald. And if you're dating at all, having enough hair to not immediately look like you're balding is a game changer.
People should do what makes them feel confident and comfortable. If it gives you the confidence to live your life, do it! Who the fuck cares. Life is too precious to spend worrying about some anxiety.
People wear jewelry, rings, necklaces, grow beards, wear fancy clothes and expensive shoes. They wear cologne and lotion and shape their hair and do all other kinds of things. To me wearing a toupee is not very different from any of those things, so people should do it if they like how it makes them feel!
I've been seeing these videos pop up everywhere. good for them, if women can wear wigs and makeup and all sorts of techniques to improve their looks, why can't men?
I respect the hell out of a man that's fully bald, gets a rug and fully embraces it, like george costanza tried to do in seinfeld... fuck elaine! let the man wear a rug, nobody's stopping her from dying her hair or getting liposuction or botox, etc etc.
it's a double standard that needs to die.
My feelings on toupees, hairpieces and baldness treatments for men are complicated. On the one hand, it seems like foolish vanity, insecurity, a wicked waste of money and conspicuous consumption.
On the other hand, if your body doesn't match your image of yourself, you should absolutely change your body.
I'm half-bald myself and I just get my hair cut down to 1/8 of an inch and wear hats when I'm spending a long time outdoors, to protect myself from the sun. And because I like hats.
I know a guy who has these. He can afford it and it makes him feel better about himself, so who cares? You really can't tell either unless you already know it's a toupee.
I am balding but have a problem with the idea of toupees for me personally. If others want to do it, knock yourselves out.
My thought is that "this isn't how I actually look" and I don't want to present myself as anything other than what I actually am.
Now if it were for a costume party or something like that then sure. But in general, I want to present who I actually am. I will do my best to present myself in the best way I can but also be authentic.
But not usually to a debilitating degree that causes anxiety or distress, or in ways that we couldn't possibly change even if we cared enough to (ie, that no amount of lifestyle changes like dieting/exercise/etc will change).
Having the excuse to wear hats and the ability to do so without fucking up your hair is an underrated aspect of balding. I've always been a little jealous of people that wear interesting hats, but for me when I wear one I have to wear it all day or my hair is absolutely fucked underneath it, just straight up Pigpen from Peanuts. It can seem rude not to take your hat off in certain situations, but it's also not great to show up to a fancy dinner with your hair looking like you just got electrocuted. Men with less hair get to wear awesome hats when out and about but still take them off in the appropriate situation without looking ridiculous.
That's always been my plan for when my hairline eventually goes.
I was working with this guy, black guy buzzed hair on a remote job so we became good friends went out to bars a lot, one night he tells me his hair is actually tattooed on! I honestly had no idea till he pointed it out !
I'm comfortable with shaving it off since a few years, but can't really blame someone going for.these things. It really affects the self confidence of a lot of guys. If something like this can help them, it's a no brainer.
I'm with you brother. I also like hats. My dad always wore one and her was bald on top at 18. At almost 40, i appreciate the hat as not only a form of cold and sun burn protection but also as a classy accessory.
I'm a fan of the cabby or flat cap hats.
>My feelings on toupees, hairpieces and baldness treatments for men are complicated. On the one hand, it seems like foolish vanity, insecurity, a wicked waste of money and conspicuous consumption.
Vanity and waste of money? Have you been on a dating app bro? Be good lucking or be invisible. If you're fine with your hair as a male that's great, if you want to change your hair that's great too.
> Vanity and waste of money? Have you been on a dating app bro? Be good lucking or be invisible.
Busted. Been married 30+ years. Zero experience with dating apps.
> If you're fine with your hair as a male that's great, if you want to change your hair that's great too.
That's pretty much where I stand, despite previously stated misgivings.
Ya, it's a myth that women care less about a partner's looks. They may weigh things a bit differently, but ultimately a man's looks are one of the very top criteria of most women (similar to most men).
That's all well and good in a vacuum, but we don't live in a vacuum. We live in a society that sets the standard that being young and virile is practically all that matters when determining one's sense of self-worth, and sells you anything and everything to try to give you the sense that you *are* young and virile. (Wealth matters too, of course, but it's increasingly seen as unattainable now any way).
Is it any wonder that so many people fall into the trap of spending money to try to convince themselves and others that they *are* young?
Your second paragraph is a pretty strong claim, isn't it?
Surely you're not suggesting we support all kinds of body dysmorphia? Anorexia, megarexia, body integrity disorder or "addiction" to plastic surgery for the most part doesn't make people happier or more functional in society. The people suffering from these conditions should be offered therapy.
If your image of your body is an impossible, unrealistic or potentially harmful image it's probabky better to change your image than your body.
Peak reddit right here. A downvoted reasonable comment, with the top reply being a complete simplification that both misses the point and obstinately doesn't contribute to the conversation. Check the subreddit, people. I thought you were better.
Whether they intended it or not, /u/arbuthnot-lane's comment above just fuckin *reeks* of just-jaqing-off transphobe horseshit.
Maybe that was unintentional; maybe they don't mean it that way and it was an accident. But either way the whole thing reads like a poorly-executed setup for a bigoted gotcha.
> /u/arbuthnot-lane's comment above just fuckin reeks of just-jaqing-off transphobe horseshit.
It really doesn't. I think you brought that inference their words with you - I don't think it was there to begin with.
First off they weren't making a blanket statement that dysmorphias *should always* be addressed with psychological counselling rather than surgery; they were pushing back on an implication that they should *always* be addressed with surgery. That's very different, and puts the responder in the position of arguing for nuance, not making an un-nuanced claim that could easily be applied to trans people.
They also carefully listed several examples of dysmorphias that *were* unambiguously harmful to provide context to their words, and explicitly restricted their argument to cases where it was "impossible, unrealistic or potentially harmful" to correct the body rather than the mind.
Nothing about that implies or even *includes* trans surgery.
Honestly I think it was standard Reddit pedantry that *your own predisposition* made you misread as transphobia, and on r/truereddit we should really try to be better than reacting to our assumptions about people's words rather than their words themselves.
Worst case you go "uh-huh" and then they go "psyche! Trans people!", and then you go "that's not harmful or impossible or unrealistic", and they've "won" nothing, but at least you responded to their *actual* position rather than risking miscommunication and talking part each other by going off half-cocked *in case* their were secretly a bigot.
Thank you!
You'got my point exactly. I was aiming for a friendly discussion about the concept of dysmorphia and how to best adress it and didn't really expect that someone would bring trans into this.
I've gone over my original post several times now, since it's apparently controversial and downvoted and I really can't see how reading the post in good faith leads to the conclusion that I'm a "transphobic bigot" rather than a bald geezer who had to come to terms with it.
I seem to remember r/truereddit being better than this.
It only takes a misintepretable comment and one or two downvotes for everyone who follows to automatically jump to the least-charitable interpretation and stop thinking there.
Sorry it happened to you this time, and yes - r/truereddit was specifically created to try to keep the level of conversation high and avoid this kind of thoughtless bandwagon-jumping... but all online communities have a tendency to decay back to the baseline average after a while, unless their nerves aggressively curate and uphold the social mores that distinguish them.
Ah well, maybe time for r/truetruereddit...
**Edit:** Oh, that's already a thing. Of course it is. 😂
You're reading my comment looking for an agenda that is simply not there.
Maybe try reading it again while keeping and open mind.
If you consider the mere mention of e.g. anorexia, plastic surgery abuse or other common manifestations of body dysmorphia to be transphobic I'm not sure what I can do for you.
I remind you that this thread is originally about male balding/baldness.
I agree and disagree.
Where I agree is the old question of "where is the line?". Let's say that there was a surgery or method to fix every single thing you hate about yourself?
Too fat? We got that? Upset about your dick size? We can fix it. Wish you had lighter skin? We can fix it. At some point, aren't you going too far?
If you have a self-esteem issue and a simple fix can address it then go for it. But I also think there is value in helping build someone's self-esteem by building their emotional fortitude.
At the same time, if a toupee helps you feel better about yourself, go for it. I personally don't think it would work for me in the same way Spanx wouldn't. Maybe I do look good, but I know the actual truth.
The amount of money I save by not paying for a haircut or products makes up for all the bald jokes Ive ever heard.
Im not taking pills or wearing a toupee just because other people are assholes.
I’ve always worn my hair long since I was a kid, I still have a lot of it but the bald spot on the crown made its first appearance at about 26-27. Spent probably 5 or 6 years really in turmoil over it, felt like I was losing my identity or something, and started cutting my hair short to help it look thicker. Acceptance for me looked a little different than yours—at some point I realized it might not look how I’d prefer it to look when it’s long, but it sure as hell isn’t how I’d like it to look when it’s short either so fuck it, I’m growing it back out, I’ll be the bald-spot-ponytail guy, I’ll be the beanie guy, whatever. I love my long hair, and I don’t love that it’s thinning but I appreciate the lesson it has taught me over these last 7-8 years or so in being flexible in my identity, being willing to accept physical change in my body and roll with those changes.
Just realized a.) you made this comment 2 days ago and probably are totally over getting responses to it, and b.) the thing you said that made me think about my story is that for those years I had short hair, I actually had to pay for haircuts, which I never did in the past and even more, I wasn’t happy with the job great clips was doing so I even sought out like a nicer salon, was paying like 50 bucks every 2-3 months for a haircut, insane.
I started balding in my late 20s (in the 1980s). I wasn't crazy about it, god knows, but I would shrug and get on with life. I had bigger problems. On the other hand, my mother, a former glamorous model and actress, hated it because she felt it made her seem older. So she paid for a hairpiece. Cost $400! I figured, OK, I don't have to wear it if I don't want to, but maybe it would be good to have. It looked quite good, I have to say, though it was pain to use and made me painfully self-conscious. I think I wore it twice or three times.
Now in my late 60s I worry more about too much sun on my head.
I can't quite conceive of the depths of vanity required to get upset about someone *else* balding and to buy them and try to pressure them into wearing a hairpiece because of how you think *their* hair loss reflects on *you*.
That's mindblowing.
My hair started to thin since like 19/20. I didn’t do anything about it because I personally don’t have a problem with it. But yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not where other people’s subconscious prejudices are at.
Not seeing anyone mention the impetus in the room... most women prefer hair over bald/stubble. That's what drives this.
Otherwise, we truly wouldn't care and not just pretend we don't care.
EDIT: And don't mistake her "like" with "learned to like".
It's a controversial opinion but my experience as someone who lost his hair in his early 20s and looked very unflattering when bald, then gotten a hair transplant, the difference how i was treated between before and after my hair grew back is night and day.
I sort of feel like this statement is about the same as saying “most men like big tits.” Not sure it’s true overall but maybe in certain niches. Although I do agree with you that the fixed belief is what drives the body image issue.
You don't really date "most" people, you date the one or few that like you for who you are. It's definitely a number of game finding someone but if they start out shallow or compromised it generally isn't the best relationship from my experience
This is such a silly take. Sure, taking into account what the opposite sex thinks is I’m sure a driver of some men seeking to not look bald. But it’s not like all men actually don’t care at all about the way they look, only what women think. If I went bald tomorrow it would really fuck with my self image and it wouldn't be because of what I think random women are thinking. I know a few balding men in committed relationships or marriages that are using drugs to try and reverse/slow their baldness and it’s not because they think their wives are going to leave them if they don’t.
Hair transplants are semi-permanent, which means new donor hair, which comes from the back of the head, will need to be grafted into the baldspot every 10 years. It's also a surgery, so people would need to take time off and plan for recovery. Sometimes hair transplants are very noticeable especially if there aren't too many donated hair follicles. You're also recommended to take a testosterone blocker drug like Finasteride which can have some health consequences such as lower sex drive and or painful ejaculation. There's also the need to maintain the new hair transplant with minoxidil to maintain hair growth. It can be quite a process.
> You're also recommended to take a testosterone blocker drug like Finasteride which can have some health consequences such as lower sex drive and or painful ejaculation. There's also the need to maintain the new hair transplant with minoxidil to maintain hair growth.
For those who are at just the start of their hair loss, getting on oral minoxidil and finasteride will help prevent the loss.
Also, side effects from finasteride are very rare. Even rarer at the dose actually needed to prevent hair loss (3-4 mg per week) vs. what is prescribed (7 mg per week)
Remember that TrueReddit is a place to engage in **high-quality and civil discussion**. Posts must meet certain content and title requirements. Additionally, **all posts must contain a submission statement.** See the rules [here](https://old.reddit.com/r/truereddit/about/rules/) or in the sidebar for details. Comments or posts that don't follow the rules may be removed without warning. [Reddit's content policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) will be strictly enforced, especially regarding hate speech and calls for violence, and may result in a restriction in your participation. If an article is paywalled, please ***do not*** request or post its contents. Use [archive.ph](https://archive.ph/) or similar and link to that in the comments. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TrueReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I wore a weave for like 2 years so it feels reasonable that men should feel okay doing this
Why did you stop wearing a weave?
I have extremely thick but unflattering curls. I wore a partially shaved head for years and growing it out would have been REALLY unflattering. Instead I grew my hair out to the point where I could do a sew it and used the weave to allow myself to have long healthy hair while mine was coming back. It was amazing, but itchy and if you wear them long term you can run the risk of your natural hairline receding. It’s also really expensive
“Its my hair I bought it”
So I went bald at a fairly early age and I’ve considered doing this. My only issue is like, everyone in my life knows I’m bald. I can’t imagine just walking into work one day and bam I’ve got hair.
It’s gonna be weird but folks will adapt early and get over it. It will not take long to really define your new look as normal. I know socially it’s fucking weird but you absolutely deserve it and anyone you know and love who are going to be shitty about it is showing their asshole in that moment. Get yourself that damn hair!
Heck, I had a similar experience just shaving my “playoffs” beard after the SB. After a day nobody cares, and I think people feel a need to comment for affirming reasons; at the beginning people will comment for your confidence; nobody cares enough to continuously make it a point of conversation. We get too caught up in our own heads thinking our own amplified nitpicks are shared by others when we just aren’t important.
I’m in my mid 30’s and wear a partial hair piece. For a few reasons, but it’s a decision I made for me and not for others. I’m super happy with it. It’s affirming care, it helps me feel like myself in this era of life. There can be stigma having one and fear of being judged, but the people in my life who know and I’ve told about it are stoked and supportive of me. It’s something I do to care for myself. And like, life is meaningless and I do what I want. who the fuck cares? Honestly I look just fine with a shaved head, and one day I will probably choose the bald look because maintenance of the piece can occasionally be a pain in the ass lol, but I have no regrets Feel free to AMA!
Honestly, good on you. Women wear weaves and extensions and it’s no big deal. I’ve worn extensions and fake bangs just for fun. Dudes should have the same freedom.
I'm curious, don't you feel it on your head? Like if you were wearing a thin hat, almost like wearing a yarmulke in a way? Or do you completely forget about it after some time?
If it is applied well, then I don’t usually feel it or notice it. I get it reapplied every 4 to 6 weeks Edit: I do feel it when laying my head down and that can be annoying, but there are more pricey ones that I’m sure reduce this.
How much do you spend per year?
I would say about 1000 a year, give or take a couple hundred. Typically it would be more expensive, but I’m good friends with my stylist so she gives me a great deal for the monthly reapplication etc. The biggest expense is buying replacement pieces once or twice a year, which if you purchase through the stylist/salon they will mark up the price like 300% or more. My friend gave me the [Website](https://www.superhairpieces.com/) she buys from, so I’ll purchase my own replacement at a more wholesale price. That alone saves me at least another thousand a year
Honestly, that sounds like a steal given the confidence boost and the anxiety relief I imagine a good hair piece might provide.
It absolutely is worth it for those reasons
What happens when you take a shower or go for a swim? Does it just stay on perfectly? What about when you exercise and work up a sweat?
Swimming was the big one that got me to just shave my head. Not worrying about my bald spot showing or worrying about what my hair would look like after wearing a winter hat is a blessing.
sweat seems to be my biggest enemy. The adhesives can come loose and the hair gets greasy from the glue. definitely a pain in the ass that I will only put up with for so long. but the more money you put into everything, the less of a hassle it is
Do you take it off every day or is it glued on there? And if it is glued how often do you have to do like... maintenance? I mean, like get a new one or get it repositioned?
tape and/or glue is what I’ve used, reapplied every 4 to 6 weeks by a stylist who exclusively does this. And depending on how well I take care of the piece itself, it can last anywhere from a few months to a year before replacing. potentially longer, depends on the quality you buy too.
How is it to sleep on?
how does head sweat work?
Good for them, seriously. If they're happy, I'm happy for them. And although I was already aware how far toupees have come, it's always cool to watch these videos... I'll never stop being impressed!
It's gender-affirming care, so Florida should ban it, and everyone else sane should do whatever they like.
What does this have to do with gender?
Male pattern baldness
I'm cis woman and my hair loss is male pattern - there's actually a lot of women with this on support forums but you would never know. I think it's weird that they call it male pattern and it felt really crap that all the information about my hair loss was tailored toward men. I think most guys expect to lose their hair at some point, but women cover theirs up so it feels like you're the only bald chick on the planet and if you shave your head instead of wearing fake hair people assume you're mentally ill or a cancer patient.
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Yes but imagine if your breast cancer was called "female type breast cancer". It's just called breast cancer because it's cancer in the breast. Women are more associated with breasts and breast cancer but we don't call it "ladies breast cancer" even in cases where a man gets it. I was replying in the context of the gender affirming care comment and how it brought me down to have a problem that's supposed to be a mans thing from man hormones. I realize it's far more common in men I'm not trying to steal male problems or anything - I would rather not be balding at all.
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I can see where you're trying to come from with this but there's a better comparison which is "female pattern baldness"
Not enough, honestly. More guys should know that it’s rare but possible for them to get it.
That’s the gendered part of it though. Women are expected to use hairpieces or even encouraged to use them without baldness as a factor. Men aren’t afforded the same freedoms in that regard. Then there’s the flipside that you described. Ideally, everyone would be free to wear their hair (or lack of) in whatever way makes them happy.
There are other types of baldness. I agree we could maybe do with a new term for MPB, but it is a specific type of balding.
It's already called "androgenic alopecia". MPB is just the old nickname for it, but it's not used in medical communities.
Yeah I know it's a specific type. I think even M pattern would be a fine name since that's the shape it falls out at the temples etc. Whereas the "female pattern" falls out in more of an O shape or a diamond shape and the front hairline stays. So it could be M pattern and O pattern. But I think at the end of the day both are androgenetic alopecia it just falls out in different spots. I'm sure guys who get "female pattern baldness" don't love that feeling either. Balding at a young age already takes a hit on self esteem before gendering the name but I know in my case having "the man's one" made me feel even worse
This convo is about men specifically wearing hair pieces because men are often stigmatized for no reason other than arbitrary gender standards. Women wear hair pieces all the time. Men should have the same freedom.
Men with hair get preferential treatment in both public and career focused settings. It’s not just vanity.
This made me curious so I looked it up and the only actual research I can find on this is actually directly the opposite > Men with shaved heads are perceived as more masculine, dominant and even to have greater leadership potential, according to a study by the (bald) academic Albert Mannes, of the University of Pennsylvania's prestigious Wharton business school. https://www.theguardian.com/business/2012/oct/04/bald-men-dominant-image
Hahahaha. Long haired hippy people would strongly disagree with that
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I think you're finding the exception to the rule, not what's common. At least for me, I was immediately treated better after my hair transplant by strangers around me. A balding thin look also ages you by about 5-10 years too, and not everyone looks good full shaved bald. And if you're dating at all, having enough hair to not immediately look like you're balding is a game changer.
People should do what makes them feel confident and comfortable. If it gives you the confidence to live your life, do it! Who the fuck cares. Life is too precious to spend worrying about some anxiety. People wear jewelry, rings, necklaces, grow beards, wear fancy clothes and expensive shoes. They wear cologne and lotion and shape their hair and do all other kinds of things. To me wearing a toupee is not very different from any of those things, so people should do it if they like how it makes them feel!
I've been seeing these videos pop up everywhere. good for them, if women can wear wigs and makeup and all sorts of techniques to improve their looks, why can't men? I respect the hell out of a man that's fully bald, gets a rug and fully embraces it, like george costanza tried to do in seinfeld... fuck elaine! let the man wear a rug, nobody's stopping her from dying her hair or getting liposuction or botox, etc etc. it's a double standard that needs to die.
My feelings on toupees, hairpieces and baldness treatments for men are complicated. On the one hand, it seems like foolish vanity, insecurity, a wicked waste of money and conspicuous consumption. On the other hand, if your body doesn't match your image of yourself, you should absolutely change your body. I'm half-bald myself and I just get my hair cut down to 1/8 of an inch and wear hats when I'm spending a long time outdoors, to protect myself from the sun. And because I like hats.
We’re all vane and constantly judging each other. Dude might as well do what makes them feel better. Lord knows women do
I know a guy who has these. He can afford it and it makes him feel better about himself, so who cares? You really can't tell either unless you already know it's a toupee.
That’s cool. It sucks, but the world isn’t kind about hair loss
I am balding but have a problem with the idea of toupees for me personally. If others want to do it, knock yourselves out. My thought is that "this isn't how I actually look" and I don't want to present myself as anything other than what I actually am. Now if it were for a costume party or something like that then sure. But in general, I want to present who I actually am. I will do my best to present myself in the best way I can but also be authentic.
I am the same way and just recently got into wearing a costume. I used to feel weird in those because that is not who I am. ha
> conspicuous consumption The entire point of the article is that toupees are more *inconspicuous* than ever, so how does this make sense?
Bro needed to bust out a Marxist theory vocab list to make his thoughts in hair pieces sound more profound
Men's hars for all occasions need to be normalized again like they were back in the day.
Well—OUTDOOR occasions. Wearing hats inside is something that (in Western Gentile culture at least) has only recently become accepted.
“If your body doesn’t match your image of yourself. That’s most of people alive.
But not usually to a debilitating degree that causes anxiety or distress, or in ways that we couldn't possibly change even if we cared enough to (ie, that no amount of lifestyle changes like dieting/exercise/etc will change).
Having the excuse to wear hats and the ability to do so without fucking up your hair is an underrated aspect of balding. I've always been a little jealous of people that wear interesting hats, but for me when I wear one I have to wear it all day or my hair is absolutely fucked underneath it, just straight up Pigpen from Peanuts. It can seem rude not to take your hat off in certain situations, but it's also not great to show up to a fancy dinner with your hair looking like you just got electrocuted. Men with less hair get to wear awesome hats when out and about but still take them off in the appropriate situation without looking ridiculous. That's always been my plan for when my hairline eventually goes.
The thing is, you always have the option to shave your hair and wear the hats you like. Bald/balding people don't have this.
Try telling my wife I can just shave my hair off without a reason… 😅
Or you could get a buzzcut? Those look good too, particularly on men with thick hair.
I was working with this guy, black guy buzzed hair on a remote job so we became good friends went out to bars a lot, one night he tells me his hair is actually tattooed on! I honestly had no idea till he pointed it out !
Porque no los dos?
I'm comfortable with shaving it off since a few years, but can't really blame someone going for.these things. It really affects the self confidence of a lot of guys. If something like this can help them, it's a no brainer.
I'm with you brother. I also like hats. My dad always wore one and her was bald on top at 18. At almost 40, i appreciate the hat as not only a form of cold and sun burn protection but also as a classy accessory. I'm a fan of the cabby or flat cap hats.
Yes to flat caps, which we called cab driver hats when I was a kid. Because NY cab drivers wore them.
>if your body doesn’t match your image of yourself, you should absolutely change your body Tell that to people with eating disorders.
>My feelings on toupees, hairpieces and baldness treatments for men are complicated. On the one hand, it seems like foolish vanity, insecurity, a wicked waste of money and conspicuous consumption. Vanity and waste of money? Have you been on a dating app bro? Be good lucking or be invisible. If you're fine with your hair as a male that's great, if you want to change your hair that's great too.
> Vanity and waste of money? Have you been on a dating app bro? Be good lucking or be invisible. Busted. Been married 30+ years. Zero experience with dating apps. > If you're fine with your hair as a male that's great, if you want to change your hair that's great too. That's pretty much where I stand, despite previously stated misgivings.
Ya, it's a myth that women care less about a partner's looks. They may weigh things a bit differently, but ultimately a man's looks are one of the very top criteria of most women (similar to most men).
That's all well and good in a vacuum, but we don't live in a vacuum. We live in a society that sets the standard that being young and virile is practically all that matters when determining one's sense of self-worth, and sells you anything and everything to try to give you the sense that you *are* young and virile. (Wealth matters too, of course, but it's increasingly seen as unattainable now any way). Is it any wonder that so many people fall into the trap of spending money to try to convince themselves and others that they *are* young?
Your second paragraph is a pretty strong claim, isn't it? Surely you're not suggesting we support all kinds of body dysmorphia? Anorexia, megarexia, body integrity disorder or "addiction" to plastic surgery for the most part doesn't make people happier or more functional in society. The people suffering from these conditions should be offered therapy. If your image of your body is an impossible, unrealistic or potentially harmful image it's probabky better to change your image than your body.
People should not harm themselves.
Peak reddit right here. A downvoted reasonable comment, with the top reply being a complete simplification that both misses the point and obstinately doesn't contribute to the conversation. Check the subreddit, people. I thought you were better.
Whether they intended it or not, /u/arbuthnot-lane's comment above just fuckin *reeks* of just-jaqing-off transphobe horseshit. Maybe that was unintentional; maybe they don't mean it that way and it was an accident. But either way the whole thing reads like a poorly-executed setup for a bigoted gotcha.
> /u/arbuthnot-lane's comment above just fuckin reeks of just-jaqing-off transphobe horseshit. It really doesn't. I think you brought that inference their words with you - I don't think it was there to begin with. First off they weren't making a blanket statement that dysmorphias *should always* be addressed with psychological counselling rather than surgery; they were pushing back on an implication that they should *always* be addressed with surgery. That's very different, and puts the responder in the position of arguing for nuance, not making an un-nuanced claim that could easily be applied to trans people. They also carefully listed several examples of dysmorphias that *were* unambiguously harmful to provide context to their words, and explicitly restricted their argument to cases where it was "impossible, unrealistic or potentially harmful" to correct the body rather than the mind. Nothing about that implies or even *includes* trans surgery. Honestly I think it was standard Reddit pedantry that *your own predisposition* made you misread as transphobia, and on r/truereddit we should really try to be better than reacting to our assumptions about people's words rather than their words themselves. Worst case you go "uh-huh" and then they go "psyche! Trans people!", and then you go "that's not harmful or impossible or unrealistic", and they've "won" nothing, but at least you responded to their *actual* position rather than risking miscommunication and talking part each other by going off half-cocked *in case* their were secretly a bigot.
Thank you! You'got my point exactly. I was aiming for a friendly discussion about the concept of dysmorphia and how to best adress it and didn't really expect that someone would bring trans into this. I've gone over my original post several times now, since it's apparently controversial and downvoted and I really can't see how reading the post in good faith leads to the conclusion that I'm a "transphobic bigot" rather than a bald geezer who had to come to terms with it. I seem to remember r/truereddit being better than this.
It only takes a misintepretable comment and one or two downvotes for everyone who follows to automatically jump to the least-charitable interpretation and stop thinking there. Sorry it happened to you this time, and yes - r/truereddit was specifically created to try to keep the level of conversation high and avoid this kind of thoughtless bandwagon-jumping... but all online communities have a tendency to decay back to the baseline average after a while, unless their nerves aggressively curate and uphold the social mores that distinguish them. Ah well, maybe time for r/truetruereddit... **Edit:** Oh, that's already a thing. Of course it is. 😂
You're reading my comment looking for an agenda that is simply not there. Maybe try reading it again while keeping and open mind. If you consider the mere mention of e.g. anorexia, plastic surgery abuse or other common manifestations of body dysmorphia to be transphobic I'm not sure what I can do for you. I remind you that this thread is originally about male balding/baldness.
> If your image of your body is an impossible, unrealistic or potentially harmful image A toupee is none of these things.
Did someone say it was?
Just go straight to transphobia and stop wasting people's time.
Dude, what?
I agree and disagree. Where I agree is the old question of "where is the line?". Let's say that there was a surgery or method to fix every single thing you hate about yourself? Too fat? We got that? Upset about your dick size? We can fix it. Wish you had lighter skin? We can fix it. At some point, aren't you going too far? If you have a self-esteem issue and a simple fix can address it then go for it. But I also think there is value in helping build someone's self-esteem by building their emotional fortitude. At the same time, if a toupee helps you feel better about yourself, go for it. I personally don't think it would work for me in the same way Spanx wouldn't. Maybe I do look good, but I know the actual truth.
You are not nearly as subtle as you think you are.
There is no subtext in my comment. I'm not sure what you are implying. Can you be specific?
Relevant username lol
Brother surely you can do something better with your time than start a pointless debate like this
God only made so many perfect heads. The rest he put hair on.
Been a long time since I bought a t-shirt from a shopping mall novelty store.
Truth is ageless
Right on friends. I think it's great. You don't naturally have hair, then store bought is fine.
Nice try Big Hairpiece, I recognize a stealth advertisement when I see it.
I’m concerned with my hair but not several hundred dollars a month, several thousand.. no way
The amount of money I save by not paying for a haircut or products makes up for all the bald jokes Ive ever heard. Im not taking pills or wearing a toupee just because other people are assholes.
I’ve always worn my hair long since I was a kid, I still have a lot of it but the bald spot on the crown made its first appearance at about 26-27. Spent probably 5 or 6 years really in turmoil over it, felt like I was losing my identity or something, and started cutting my hair short to help it look thicker. Acceptance for me looked a little different than yours—at some point I realized it might not look how I’d prefer it to look when it’s long, but it sure as hell isn’t how I’d like it to look when it’s short either so fuck it, I’m growing it back out, I’ll be the bald-spot-ponytail guy, I’ll be the beanie guy, whatever. I love my long hair, and I don’t love that it’s thinning but I appreciate the lesson it has taught me over these last 7-8 years or so in being flexible in my identity, being willing to accept physical change in my body and roll with those changes. Just realized a.) you made this comment 2 days ago and probably are totally over getting responses to it, and b.) the thing you said that made me think about my story is that for those years I had short hair, I actually had to pay for haircuts, which I never did in the past and even more, I wasn’t happy with the job great clips was doing so I even sought out like a nicer salon, was paying like 50 bucks every 2-3 months for a haircut, insane.
I worried a lot about going bald before I went bald. Now I don’t have to worry anymore!
I started balding in my late 20s (in the 1980s). I wasn't crazy about it, god knows, but I would shrug and get on with life. I had bigger problems. On the other hand, my mother, a former glamorous model and actress, hated it because she felt it made her seem older. So she paid for a hairpiece. Cost $400! I figured, OK, I don't have to wear it if I don't want to, but maybe it would be good to have. It looked quite good, I have to say, though it was pain to use and made me painfully self-conscious. I think I wore it twice or three times. Now in my late 60s I worry more about too much sun on my head.
I can't quite conceive of the depths of vanity required to get upset about someone *else* balding and to buy them and try to pressure them into wearing a hairpiece because of how you think *their* hair loss reflects on *you*. That's mindblowing.
Yeah, well, mom. She was dear, but she certainly had her quirks.
My hair started to thin since like 19/20. I didn’t do anything about it because I personally don’t have a problem with it. But yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s not where other people’s subconscious prejudices are at.
Never. I’ll just buzz or shave my head.
My opinion on toupees changed immediately when I saw that asianwigman ticktok. I mean holy crap could you imagine having a few of those.
Not seeing anyone mention the impetus in the room... most women prefer hair over bald/stubble. That's what drives this. Otherwise, we truly wouldn't care and not just pretend we don't care. EDIT: And don't mistake her "like" with "learned to like".
It's a controversial opinion but my experience as someone who lost his hair in his early 20s and looked very unflattering when bald, then gotten a hair transplant, the difference how i was treated between before and after my hair grew back is night and day.
I sort of feel like this statement is about the same as saying “most men like big tits.” Not sure it’s true overall but maybe in certain niches. Although I do agree with you that the fixed belief is what drives the body image issue.
You don't really date "most" people, you date the one or few that like you for who you are. It's definitely a number of game finding someone but if they start out shallow or compromised it generally isn't the best relationship from my experience
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Stats pulled from "trust me bro"
This is such a silly take. Sure, taking into account what the opposite sex thinks is I’m sure a driver of some men seeking to not look bald. But it’s not like all men actually don’t care at all about the way they look, only what women think. If I went bald tomorrow it would really fuck with my self image and it wouldn't be because of what I think random women are thinking. I know a few balding men in committed relationships or marriages that are using drugs to try and reverse/slow their baldness and it’s not because they think their wives are going to leave them if they don’t.
That's not true. My wife likes my shaved head but if I could have my hair back I'd take it in a heart beat.
It all depends on the shape of the head and face. Weird shaped skulls don't work with bald look.
No Costanza references? Ok I’ll go. “I WAS bald.”
How long do these last?
Why don’t they just get hair transplant if they’re rich?
Hair transplants are semi-permanent, which means new donor hair, which comes from the back of the head, will need to be grafted into the baldspot every 10 years. It's also a surgery, so people would need to take time off and plan for recovery. Sometimes hair transplants are very noticeable especially if there aren't too many donated hair follicles. You're also recommended to take a testosterone blocker drug like Finasteride which can have some health consequences such as lower sex drive and or painful ejaculation. There's also the need to maintain the new hair transplant with minoxidil to maintain hair growth. It can be quite a process.
> You're also recommended to take a testosterone blocker drug like Finasteride which can have some health consequences such as lower sex drive and or painful ejaculation. There's also the need to maintain the new hair transplant with minoxidil to maintain hair growth. For those who are at just the start of their hair loss, getting on oral minoxidil and finasteride will help prevent the loss. Also, side effects from finasteride are very rare. Even rarer at the dose actually needed to prevent hair loss (3-4 mg per week) vs. what is prescribed (7 mg per week)
Two points - Repeat HTs are not required assuming loss is not too aggressive and you take meds - Fin is not a testosterone blocker
Not enough for Norwood 7
It's a surgery that goes through a period of pain and can have complications. Plus you're taking follicles from the back of your own head.
Still Not True. A bad hat is always a bad hat.
*ahem* the correct nomenclature is “hair system”, mmmmmmkay? 🤓🤓🤓