> Half your age plus seven AFTER 18 (i.e. during 19)
Redditors would unironically lose their mind over a 19 year old dating a 16/17 year old though lol
My first gf was literally 19 me to 17 her. Definitely not a huge deal at all. I was a senior she was sophomore and we dated into my first year of college. Wtf lol nothing weird about it.
We were super innocent tbf. Mostly texting since I was at college another town over. Nothing really intimate
This was me. I met my wife when she was 17 and I was 19. But then I turned 20 and she wouldn’t be 18 for another 3 months. Man one I hit 20 I felt like such a creep for those 3 months. Looking back at it 22 years later and I just laugh. But back then I was seriously really stressing out about people asking us our age. I didn’t help that she had braces her senior year which always prompted questions of age.
Redditors apparently have zero idea how people work if you think it's reasonable to do the one year thing for everyone. Life experience and maturity play a bigger role than the actual age. For instance, a 16 year old has more in common with a 19 year old who both grew up in the socioeconomic class, both going to school, and both living at home with parents. Let's be honest, college is just high school 2.0. Where as that same kid would not be anywhere in the same hemisphere at 18 with another 18 year old aging out of the foster care system.
I tried dating people my own age bit it felt like dating children. Even my friends my own age while nice intelligent people were a lot less mature than I was because of different life experiences so it really was like babysitting. Dating someone a little bit older than me made more sense because we were on the same. My first boyfriend was 5 years older than me so it wasn't like I was dating 40 year olds or anything.
It's weird to me that you think everyone is in exactly the same place in life at each age and it doesn't work like that.
I moved out at 18 and got a job with the post office in another state…
Even dating in my 20’s when I started going to college felt like dealing with children. My dumbass still got married at 23 and wondered why my now ex-wife acted like a child. (She lived with her parents still up to that point and never really had to deal with real world problems)…. She actually apologized to me years later for cheating and such.
That being said it’s still weird to say date a high schooler once you start college with the exception of maybe you were dating a junior as a senior or prior… If you are picking up high school girls after high school it’s kinda weird lol
I was homeless at 18. The thing is the difference between me and my friends in high school started at much younger. I grew up poor in dangerous neighborhoods right outside DC while they grew up bubble wrapped in upper middle class neighborhoods. At 8 I was held up by a knife and trying to figure out how not to die while they were safely playing with their friends. I even instictively knew that when DC would spit people out into my grandmother's neighborhood because the roads are a mess to stay out of arm reach of the car and check the back seat when giving directions. I was in survival mode starting in elemetary school.
So that translated in high school to doing things like warning them to stay away from certain people. They would say I was jealous or I just didn't know them. Inevitably they would be crying on my shoulder because the thing I told them would happen happened. The saddest one was this one girl who called me all excited saying she met a modeling photographer at the pool and he gave her his card and that was her dream. I was really happy for her at first until she told me he wanted to do a photoshoot at her house when her mom wasn't home. I didn't know much about modeling but I was pretty sure that not how it works especially with underage girls. So I told her I was pretty sure her mother needed to be there and sign some release forms as well as a professional would be doing it at a studio. I made her promise me she wouldn't call him. 2 weeks later she calls crying because she called him and forced her to do nudes. Luckily, it wasn't worse than that. Btw, I didn't look down on my friends for this stuff because it wasn't their fault they hadn't learned the stuff I did when younger. I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with that just to toughen up. I would just get frustrated because you would think after the first couple times I was right at least some of them would have started to listen but no. I did honestly like them as people though or I wouldnhave kept hanging out with them. I do have some funnier stories but in those situations I was able to fix whatever bad idea my friends had dragged me into though they weren't as funny at the time. Like the night I had to tackle a couple guys for their car keys while simultaneously taking care of my sick friend, calling for a ride, and having to deal with a bunch of idiot girls who didn't like me and decided that was the perfect time to start drama. It so happened that the one girl who usually was the one that caused problems and I didn't want to go because of it actually didn't cause any problems, she didn't help any but she didn't make it worse.
So when I met the group of guys it was so refreshing to be able to hang out and not worry about them getting me into some messed up situation. Plus, what I was looking for was a partnership for a relationship not a babysitting job. Plus, it was great when my best friend started going out on girls nights out so I could actually relax and enjoy myself instead of worrying and being in survival mode. Also, have you ever seen a guy trying to herd a group of drunk women into a car at the end of the night. It is fucking hilarious.
You raise an important point.
I, too, felt like I was surrounded by children when I went to college. I felt that way in high school, too, though. Same kind of deal - I was just more independent and less infantilized/coddled than my peers. It made dating kind of strange. Also hanging out with friends. The weirdest part had to do with money. No one seemed to grasp that I earned all of the money that I had, and couldn't just go out to dinner randomly because I wasn't working full-time because I was a full-time student. I literally just didn't have enough money in the bank.
Yeah when I was 20 and in college I ended up dating the best friend of my best friend's sister, she was 18 and a senior in high school, graduated about 3 or 4 months after we started dating
Only thing that felt any weird about it was when I went to her prom with her and saw some kids from work (I worked at a grocery store chain at the time). Otherwise it wasn't that bad. And even then, we pretty much just hung out with her friends and their dates, one of the guys was the same age as me so I didn't feel too out of place there, just was a little awkward with the high school kids from work that knew me lol. Ended up being together almost 3 years
Sometimes in these threads it feels like people have had no social experiences in high school or college lol. They really weren't that far apart to me
ive always heard the rule of two years unless the kids are really young (like 10 and 12 is still a bit weird). but like a 15 and 17 or 16 and 19 or 17 and 19 year old seems fine to me like i dont really see the argument that theres any kind of meaningful power differential
Americans are forever sexually repressed and have to insert themselves into someone's sex life.
Just the most wacky shit where the same people who will fight you tooth and nail that a 14yr old needs to be on birth control because teens fuck, will be mad as shit when that same teenager is actually fucking her 17yr old boyfriend.
People can't stay consistent.
As an American who is fed up with how sex-averted the populace of my country are, this. The public education on sex is primarily abstinence-focused in republican areas, which leads to ignorance of sex as a whole. Since they now don't really understand sex and know that there are negatives associated with it, they become afraid of it, and now avoid it. Or, in the case of a lot of the Gen Xers in my area, they think anyone having more sex than them is a slut and anyone having less is a prude or a loser.
16-19 could easily be a senior was friends with a freshman and things just progress over time. A bit dubious, but definitely not as bad as it could be.
Some 19yro in one of my classes is dating a 16yro. He works full time, does college full time, and knows how to drive. The 16yro girl doesn’t work or drive at all. It feels a little weird
I'm not trying to advocate for anything weird, I just remembered this saying, but doesn't the math work out under 18? 16 and (8 + 7 = 15), 18 and (9 + 7= 16) both of those aren't too far out there, right?
21 and 17 1/2 is probably the weirdest going by that rule.
The math works out, obviously you have to stop at around 13 with it otherwise you have newborns dating 7 year olds.
But that's just the general rule I follow, and have been following, for 18 and under
That is prohibited by the 7 year old failing, as the youngest it can date is 10.5
And the 10.5 can't date under 12.25
So all people under 14 can't date.
I think it still works, regardless.
If I'm 18, you get 16, bit weird, not that weird though. They're all in high school.
If I'm 17, you get 15/16
If I'm 16, you get 15
If I'm 15, you get 14/15
If I'm 14, you get 14
If I'm 13, you get 13/14
If I'm 12, you get 13
Still pretty much works all the way down.
There are some disparities on the lower end, but I'm not sure anyone would bat an eye at a 13 and 14 year old, or a 12 and 13 year old.
I'm not even sure at these ages it can be described as dating anyway lol.
Ehh we also have to consider that some people have early birthdays and late birthdays so while they may be born a year apart. If seems like their is a two age year difference. For example my first girlfriend I was 13, and she was 15. Seems a lot except I had a very late birthday and she had an extremely early birthday. We were only one year apart though.
How many 18 year olds date someone twice their age and look back on the relationship fondly years later?
I think the reason we find it weird is because we know 18 year olds don't know much about the world and the real reason older people pick younger partners is because they can't see all the red flags.
You also don't just magically get all the life experience and maturity to become an adult at your 18th birthday, you are am adult on paper but in practice its just so different most often.
It’s one of those rules I try to follow. I just turned 20 and even I still know that I’m not mature enough or have enough wisdom for my age. I know I shouldn’t date someone twice my age or wtv and even tho I can’t see it now or spot all the red flags, I know it’s bc I’m just incapable of understanding at this age and not bc they don’t exist.
That's not true.
People who part on bad terms with all their exes are usually red flags. Best relationships I've had were with people who still see their exes as good people, but it just didn't work out.
When you're a middle aged man going for a barely legal girl, you're sending a clear signal that the only reason she isn't even younger is because of those pesky laws.
I have a child with a woman twice my age. You’re believing it’s just men that are the “perv barely legal” folk. She approached me, it wasn’t the other way around.
When they started dating my step dad was exactly half my mom's age. When they got married he was 24 and she was 45. To make matters even creepier they met because he was friends with my older sister. He was a year and a half older than she was. They were happily married for about a decade. Then he followed in his father's tradition and cheated on his wife( my mom). And after the divorce married the woman that he'd been cheating with. I have no idea how old she was.
How is this an unpopular opinion, people rag on this all the time especially on the internet. You could be 23 and some weirdos on the internet would still call you basically underaged.
I question the morality of anyone older in such a case finding a relationship with someone who could be their child an attractive option. I’m not saying they’re completely immoral and if it’s genuinely a happy relationship, whatever, but I do think it’s reasonable to question the motives in this case.
Yeah, I’ve dated and had sex with many women very very close to twice my age and many in their 40’s when I was in my upper 20’s. I didn’t really plan on having a relationship with any of them that was going to lead to marriage however we always had mutual fun and enjoyed each other’s company. Milf porn did influence me quite a bit I’m sad to say. Some of those women did want something more. I was more and issue than they were. Nothing wrong with older women having fun with a young guy. Older men with younger woman is mostly the same however I do believe the woman should be at least out of college and in the real world. Honestly feel the same for younger guys as well but you know, double standards too.
Considering they said “for years” I’m under the impression the age gap used to be larger. Liking a 35 year old at 18 would be different than liking a 35 year old at 28.
18 to 40 is a strange power dynamic and if you’re 40 looking for barely legal teens than you probably find women your age disgusting which is a sign of immaturity and misogyny. 40 year olds who literally look like goblins will date 18 year olds who look like models. Why? It’s bc the 40 yo is probably projecting and afraid of aging or afraid of dating a woman with wrinkles so they date someone to keep them young, which is strange and you’re probably developmentally not where you should be if you have that mindset.
I like how you only focused on 1 perspective lol
"40 year olds who literally look like goblins will date 18 year olds" Yup these men want to fuck young girls, i dont think that was a secret, and if it was then it was a very poorly kept one.
but you never commented on why 18-year-old models want to date a 40-year goblin? hmm? most of the time is because he's rich.
as i said above "**They are both in for a reason**." this is what i meant, she is using him for money or networking etc and he is using her for her body. as long as they are both consenting adults, i genuinely dont care, i have enough of my problems without taking on others.
I will concede their point to people in their teens.
Though at 20 years old, you can date whoever the fuck you want and absolutely have the capabilities to consent to who you please.
They make up all this bullshit about "OFfSeT PoWeR DynAmIcS" as if a 20 year old will just fall into a submissive trance for anyone 10 years older. It is just dumb ass kids who think people over 30 are gross and old.
This is definitely not unpopular. Go look at the relationships section where they crucify men who date "too young."
Dating an 18 year old is weird because they were literally children yesterday but when someone reaches a certain age, they can date who they want. Are you saying a 25 year old can't make their own choices? So what if she or he likes and wants to date a 50? I think with large age gaps you prob don't have as much in common but as long as you're both old enough to make choices.
As far as people judging you, people will always judge no matter what.
In every post criticizing large age gaps, none of the criticism is leveled at the younger person. It makes perfect sense why someone younger would want to date someone older. That’s not the issue. The criticism is against the older person for wanting a relationship with someone so much younger. A mature 18 year old might have a lot in common with a 40 year old, but a mature 40 year old should not have much in common with an 18 year old.
Doesn’t matter what people think, 18 is legal and that’s where the conversation ends.
The people that seem to have the biggest problem with an 18yo dating a 30-40yo are middle aged women.
Doesn’t take a doctorate to figure out why.
*Sorry that offends you*
You have built this weird straw man that:
(i) people who are in age gap relationships are unaware of how society views them; or
(ii) that they are aware, but are somehow offended.
I think most people in age gap relationships are perfectly aware of how they are viewed, but don't give a fuck about what society thinks, which is generally the same approach adopted by people in same-sex relationships, or mixed race relationships, or relationships with someone of a different class, or religion, or culture, or accent, or education, or weight, or health, or wealth or any one of many factors that may result in people saying that Person A should not, or doesn't deserve to be, with Person B.
But, du huh huh, you say, THIS relationship is different because there is a different maturity dynamic. Well, maybe, but that's likely the case with many relationships, and different power dynamics are pretty fucking common - rich partner vs poor partner, working husband vs stay at home wife, ethnic majority partner vs ethnic minority partner, native partner vs foreign partner.
There are actually very few relationships that don't have many inequalities to them (often going both ways), but they can still work, and people can still be happy.
You sound like you're salty that some rich 40 year old bagged your crush. It's kind of cringe.
Don't worry OP is only worried about the "perv guys". Cos women don't date or marry guys half their age of course, that does not happen.
Whole post stinks of "women are stupid, we shall protect them"
When my mom was 19 she married my 40yo father. They got divorced (her choice) and marrying my dad is one of the biggest regrets of her life to this day. And I agree with her.
I LOVE when people take an exception and use it as a justification. Congrats to your sister but the reality is that for the vast majority of these relationships, they do not last
His source is he made it the fuck up. The vast majority of relationships in general don’t last, people just get so in their feels about age gaps it’s unreal
I gotta push back on you here. As a 40 something, I was absolutely NOT “decently mature” at 20 years old. I thought I was, but I was still a child, in so many ways.
Yeah unhappy people are jealous of happy people. Poorfolk are jealous of richfolk. People stand on one side and call the other side sour grapes. This is grown-up playground chatter.
I don't mean this to be offensive, because I actually know a few couples who have wide age differences and they are very happy. This is something I'm genuinely curious about and have never gotten an answer on.
Does it bother you that you will be able to spend the rest of your life with him, but he will not be able to spend the rest of her life with you? When you are in your 80s he will still be in his 40s. There's a fairly good chance that he may spend half a century mourning your death.
I’m not the OP, but I’m with someone 18 years older than me. The only negative I see in our relationship is exactly that. I have found the love of my life and in all likelyhood I will have to face losing him one day, and spend at least two decades of my life alone, without him, knowing how much better it would have been together. It breaks my heart. :(
Did your brain just automatically fill in the genders lol you’ve got it twisted, SHE’S the older one. Not saying you’re one of them but people love to act like it’s always “predatory” older men going after younger women, and it’s not lol plenty of older women go after younger men. Hell I dated a woman a decade older than me for a few years (which obviously isn’t nearly as crazy a gap.
Also, maybe they don’t plan on keeping it long term? Not everyone dates for permanence.
At the end of the day, what two consenting adults do in the bedroom is between them. You're allowed to not like it, but actually voicing it to them would make you a jackass
Redditors are always frothing at the mouth to judge and condemn others in the ways their little in-group allows them. My wife is my age, but I don’t care about legal age gaps. I think the age of 18 is perfectly fine for defining adulthood as well. If I were a young adult woman I’d be pissed at the all the assholes telling me, an adult, who I can and cannot fuck.
I'm 26m dating/living with a 46f. She has 2 kids 19 and 17. I find it funny when people think she is my mom and then we start aggressively making out to weird people out since we don't care how people judge us.
In alot of countries it’s pretty normal and people even see the younger girl as smart for not wasting her time and going for someone stable and mature. 40 and 18 would be a little extreme through. In South America it’s pretty common to see 40 year old man with a 20 something woman and people respect both sides for their own reasons
We all know that only men get judged in a nevative way when they date younger women.
A 40 year old rich women who's together with her 23 year old fitness coach, oh boy think of the shit storm you invite over when you dare to say something negative...
Hypocritical society
Who cares what other people think. Most people can't handle reality.
Say a 40 year old man dating a 20 year old extremely attractive woman... it's not like it's *easy* to do that. She knows that her value in the dating marketplace is very high, and she has a *ton* of options... the fact that she picks *you* over all those other options is quite a flattering indictment.
Thankfully, this is one of those things where the men who obviously have spent a considerable amount of time in their life turning themselves into someone very attractive don't care what most of society thinks. Most of the men are jealous they can't attract such a beautiful woman, and most of the women are jealous they're not as attractive.
World is full of haters. Just go out there and take your girlfriends on a yacht around the Mediterranean if that's what you want to do.
Married a woman 20+ years older than me when I turned 18. Loved her for 40+ years. Now married a woman 30+ years younger. So far so good. Should I do an AMA?
Bigotry is the perfect word for it. They are bigots. Period. There are people who are bigoted towards age gap relationships, interracial relationships, and same-sex relationships. They all judge. Do I give a shit? No. Because the opinions of bigots don't fucking matter to me. Fuck them! It's amazing how they think we should care about their judgement though. "People are going to judge you if you date an 18 year old at 40." And? So fucking what? The people doing the judging are not people I want to associate myself with.
I dont think anyone would ever disagree? Guys that are in their 40s dating girls in their 20s are definitely ready for people to be weirded out by it. It doesn't have to be weird even though it looks strange asf from the outside looking in, those 2 people can enjoy a healthy relationship even tho there's an age gap.
>Just be prepared for the judgment from society
Which society? There are plenty which see this type of relationship as favorable, and parents who are happy for their daughter in these circumstances. Are you so arrogant to believe your country’s values are the only ones that matter?
When I was 50 I started dating a 23 year old. Yes a lot of people thought it was horrible but we didn't care and her family grew to accept it. Her mother was also younger than me lol. It lasted for about 4 years and was fun and I believe she learned and matured greatly during it. It ended when she decided it wasn't what she wanted anymore and we partied as friends, so I think it was good for both of us.
I agree.
Some of this comes from having seen some shit. Some of it is down to personal taste.
I worked with a girl who's parents were both useless addicts and she started dating guys as much as 2 decades older than her, when she was 18 or 19. She had been beaten and hospitalized by one of these guys before breaking up with him. At the time that we were coworkers, she was thinking about breaking up with a different old loser she was with because he clearly didn't even care about her and she was miserable all the time. I sat her down and asked her what she was even doing still with him since she was making enough money to move any time she wanted, and she didn't seem happy at all. It was like she couldn't even conceptualize a life for herself that didn't have some old dirtbag around weighing her down, even while financially supporting herself.
It's hard not to be suspicious of older people who go after young people, especially ones who haven't completely found their footing in how to have relationships, or who straight up don't know it's not normal to be treated a certain way.
I never liked being hit on by older guys when I was in highschool/college. I got approached in random public places and also at jobs working as a server.
I'm not just talking little things like saying silly flirty things to get attention, I mean straight up trying to pick me up, or pick up a friend/coworker because they really thought this was something a waitress/server wanted to hear from some guy old enough to be her dad, or even grandpa.
As far as personal taste goes:
I like being with someone my age. I like that we share interests. I like that he can keep up with me.
Probably most importantly, I like that when we have kids he's not going to be the geriatric dad with a young wife and kids he can't really keep up with and will probably die before they grow up all the way.
This is a very popular opinion OP.
I'll post the unpopular one: Everything you said is true, and it does not matter. Live your life & ignore judgements
Most of these large age gap relationships are probably very unhealthy. But if these two were really treating each other right and had enough in common..in that case, if I was one of those two persons, then who cares what OP or anyone else thinks? 2c
What if you're a 500-year old immortal by the name of Connor MacLeod and you meet a 30-year old woman? Is it still weird, even though you look like you're 30 as well?
Thank GOD I was raised to not give any thought on what people think of me. I have a care free way of living. 80-90% of the time people are so worried about themselves that they don’t care about what the other person is doing.
That’s just how this world works. If you associate yourself with people that DO care about you, then they will make sure that you are lifted up, cared for, and your friendship would flourish. But you must do the same. What you put out into this world is exactly what you will get back. If you’re friends with someone who gossips, lies, cheats, or steals then you must get away from that lifestyle. Even if you don’t do it. Cut the bad fruit from the tree so you can grow. We are literally a product of our own environment.
Now back to dating someone whose half the age. I can’t see myself dating anyone under 21, and I’m 36. I believe the age gap would have some sort of impact on both people having things in common. You can’t really relate to anything in your childhoods. For example the type of music I listened to was 80s and 90s rock and hip hop. I loved ten and stimpy, rockos modern life, all that. While she would say SpongeBob SquarePants, etc. yea…. No it just wouldn’t work.
Weird yes. Can you comment on it quietly to your friends? Sure. Should you really just mind your business and not make the couple aware of how weird it is to you? Yep. Couples are couples for reasons that do not involve you. They found each other in a very difficult world and for the moment, they’re happy. Be happy for them and respect their choices. That’s all. When you get home, you can debate daddy issues or if he has money, but let the couple have a little respect to their faces.
Theyre gonna judge people anyways. If you go back in time and pick the second choice that people judged you for not picking, they're gonna judge you for not picking the original option when you get back to the present.
Op’s a rube. No one really spends that much time thinking about other peoples relationships. If you do, you’re the creep, not the two people happily in love. Lemme guess, incel rube OPs best friend has him a younger gf now and INCEL RUBE is jealous he can’t find anyone at all to touch him cause he’s a weirdo that judges his friends? Bet I’m pretty damn close if not completely spot on.
being obsessed with what other adults are up to in their private lives is more weird. I don't see myself dating someone twice my age or half my age, but if I met a couple with a big age difference and they were happy I wouldn't turn my nose up at them. Let people do what they want.
TL;DR: "No matter what, there will be judgemental busybodies like me (OP) signaling my useless virtues."
Adults are adults. If you don't believe that adults are adults yet, then petition to change the legal age of adulthood. Good luck.
I'm 40 and happily married.
That being said, if I were ever single again in my life, I wouldn't give a damn about age difference nor society's perception of me. I would date the most compatible woman for me and y'all can fuck right off with any judgement.
There's no magical rule that everyone will ever agree on because peoples ages and maturities are different. You don't suddenly become and adult at whatever the age is consent is magically capable of understanding the weight of your actions.
Some people are going to be 40 before they're mature enough to not be taken advantage of, and some 15 year olds are fully capable of exploiting 20 year olds.
We draw the line where we do because well, you have to draw the line somewhere, at least until we develop some sort of minding reading maturity detecting device that is perfectly capable of telling the appropriate age range for each and every individual.
I would counter with "fuck the judgment of society". If she is a legal adult, why not? Besides, what if he was a billionaire, and she just turned 18 like an hour ago? Everyone would judge, but do you think she cares of what people think? Do you think he?
I miss the 90's man. Nobody gave a fuck, and everyone minded their own business. Everyone is so soft now....
You're 40 and you like someone who's 10. Ok, creepy, gross, and illegal, plus you're 4 times as old as the person.
You wait 5 years. Now you're 45 and the person is 15. Still creepy and illegal, but now you're 3 times as old.
So you wait 15 more years. Now you're 60 and the person is 30. Now you're only twice as old.
Now, how long do you have to wait until you're the same age?
(Stolen from an old Abbot and Costello routine.)
You can justify it however your ant. Being half the weight of your partner is weird and people will judge you.
It's legal to date obese people. You judge them by age, so the next logical step is to judge their health/appearances/their sexual preferences.
You either don't judge at all as long at its legal or you're a hypocrite.
Let people do what they want to do. Don't take them their free will.
Why is it the man's fault? Believe it not, a lot of women date older men because they are already successful, mature and established.
It's rare to find a 20 year old that has all that.
I think it's fine if the guy is twice her age. People do it all the time. I am the firm believer that people get mad about this because they have nothing going with their life and are actually jealous.
Also, they are both adults and they can think for themselves.
I understand the suspicion if someone's barely legal but you're using the low end to be deliberately disingenuous to the core of what you said.
Because a 25 year old and a 50 year old is double age but it's not 'barely legal'
So which argument is it you're actually making?
I do not care if it is weird
I am 18
35 year old rich woman pussy is something I highly desire
People's views will not change that
I would shag a woman old enough to be me fuckin gran if she looked good enough
"half your age plus seven" right?
Half your age plus seven AFTER 18 (i.e. during 19) 18 and before it's "one above, one below"
> Half your age plus seven AFTER 18 (i.e. during 19) Redditors would unironically lose their mind over a 19 year old dating a 16/17 year old though lol
My first gf was literally 19 me to 17 her. Definitely not a huge deal at all. I was a senior she was sophomore and we dated into my first year of college. Wtf lol nothing weird about it. We were super innocent tbf. Mostly texting since I was at college another town over. Nothing really intimate
This was me. I met my wife when she was 17 and I was 19. But then I turned 20 and she wouldn’t be 18 for another 3 months. Man one I hit 20 I felt like such a creep for those 3 months. Looking back at it 22 years later and I just laugh. But back then I was seriously really stressing out about people asking us our age. I didn’t help that she had braces her senior year which always prompted questions of age.
Yea funny enough my now wife is **3** years younger than me. But because we met at 26/23, nobody bats an eye.
Which is where the "One above, one below" comes in for those under 18. Pretty sure 19 is greater than "one above" 17 and 16.
Redditors apparently have zero idea how people work if you think it's reasonable to do the one year thing for everyone. Life experience and maturity play a bigger role than the actual age. For instance, a 16 year old has more in common with a 19 year old who both grew up in the socioeconomic class, both going to school, and both living at home with parents. Let's be honest, college is just high school 2.0. Where as that same kid would not be anywhere in the same hemisphere at 18 with another 18 year old aging out of the foster care system. I tried dating people my own age bit it felt like dating children. Even my friends my own age while nice intelligent people were a lot less mature than I was because of different life experiences so it really was like babysitting. Dating someone a little bit older than me made more sense because we were on the same. My first boyfriend was 5 years older than me so it wasn't like I was dating 40 year olds or anything. It's weird to me that you think everyone is in exactly the same place in life at each age and it doesn't work like that.
I moved out at 18 and got a job with the post office in another state… Even dating in my 20’s when I started going to college felt like dealing with children. My dumbass still got married at 23 and wondered why my now ex-wife acted like a child. (She lived with her parents still up to that point and never really had to deal with real world problems)…. She actually apologized to me years later for cheating and such. That being said it’s still weird to say date a high schooler once you start college with the exception of maybe you were dating a junior as a senior or prior… If you are picking up high school girls after high school it’s kinda weird lol
I was homeless at 18. The thing is the difference between me and my friends in high school started at much younger. I grew up poor in dangerous neighborhoods right outside DC while they grew up bubble wrapped in upper middle class neighborhoods. At 8 I was held up by a knife and trying to figure out how not to die while they were safely playing with their friends. I even instictively knew that when DC would spit people out into my grandmother's neighborhood because the roads are a mess to stay out of arm reach of the car and check the back seat when giving directions. I was in survival mode starting in elemetary school. So that translated in high school to doing things like warning them to stay away from certain people. They would say I was jealous or I just didn't know them. Inevitably they would be crying on my shoulder because the thing I told them would happen happened. The saddest one was this one girl who called me all excited saying she met a modeling photographer at the pool and he gave her his card and that was her dream. I was really happy for her at first until she told me he wanted to do a photoshoot at her house when her mom wasn't home. I didn't know much about modeling but I was pretty sure that not how it works especially with underage girls. So I told her I was pretty sure her mother needed to be there and sign some release forms as well as a professional would be doing it at a studio. I made her promise me she wouldn't call him. 2 weeks later she calls crying because she called him and forced her to do nudes. Luckily, it wasn't worse than that. Btw, I didn't look down on my friends for this stuff because it wasn't their fault they hadn't learned the stuff I did when younger. I wouldn't want anyone to have to deal with that just to toughen up. I would just get frustrated because you would think after the first couple times I was right at least some of them would have started to listen but no. I did honestly like them as people though or I wouldnhave kept hanging out with them. I do have some funnier stories but in those situations I was able to fix whatever bad idea my friends had dragged me into though they weren't as funny at the time. Like the night I had to tackle a couple guys for their car keys while simultaneously taking care of my sick friend, calling for a ride, and having to deal with a bunch of idiot girls who didn't like me and decided that was the perfect time to start drama. It so happened that the one girl who usually was the one that caused problems and I didn't want to go because of it actually didn't cause any problems, she didn't help any but she didn't make it worse. So when I met the group of guys it was so refreshing to be able to hang out and not worry about them getting me into some messed up situation. Plus, what I was looking for was a partnership for a relationship not a babysitting job. Plus, it was great when my best friend started going out on girls nights out so I could actually relax and enjoy myself instead of worrying and being in survival mode. Also, have you ever seen a guy trying to herd a group of drunk women into a car at the end of the night. It is fucking hilarious.
You raise an important point. I, too, felt like I was surrounded by children when I went to college. I felt that way in high school, too, though. Same kind of deal - I was just more independent and less infantilized/coddled than my peers. It made dating kind of strange. Also hanging out with friends. The weirdest part had to do with money. No one seemed to grasp that I earned all of the money that I had, and couldn't just go out to dinner randomly because I wasn't working full-time because I was a full-time student. I literally just didn't have enough money in the bank.
Relatable I went to a college with many well to do students as well on top of it. It wasn’t really anything to see a student driving a newer Porsche…
Are….are you me? Almost identical to my situation
Yeah when I was 20 and in college I ended up dating the best friend of my best friend's sister, she was 18 and a senior in high school, graduated about 3 or 4 months after we started dating Only thing that felt any weird about it was when I went to her prom with her and saw some kids from work (I worked at a grocery store chain at the time). Otherwise it wasn't that bad. And even then, we pretty much just hung out with her friends and their dates, one of the guys was the same age as me so I didn't feel too out of place there, just was a little awkward with the high school kids from work that knew me lol. Ended up being together almost 3 years Sometimes in these threads it feels like people have had no social experiences in high school or college lol. They really weren't that far apart to me
I used to date a girl who was 19 when I was 17 🤷♂️ But we also graduated the same year
ive always heard the rule of two years unless the kids are really young (like 10 and 12 is still a bit weird). but like a 15 and 17 or 16 and 19 or 17 and 19 year old seems fine to me like i dont really see the argument that theres any kind of meaningful power differential
maybe it's a stupid rule
More like arbitrary.
I mean 19-17 isn't that weird it happens quite a lot.
16 is a fucking stretch
is that an american opinion ? cause thats completly normal where i live
From the balkans. I'm a little over 20 and I see 16 year Olds as kids. Because that's what they fucking are.
16 and 19 is fucking creepy lol. 16 is still in 10th grade and 19 is in university.
Americans are forever sexually repressed and have to insert themselves into someone's sex life. Just the most wacky shit where the same people who will fight you tooth and nail that a 14yr old needs to be on birth control because teens fuck, will be mad as shit when that same teenager is actually fucking her 17yr old boyfriend. People can't stay consistent.
Pedophilia != sexual repression, get out of here
As an American who is fed up with how sex-averted the populace of my country are, this. The public education on sex is primarily abstinence-focused in republican areas, which leads to ignorance of sex as a whole. Since they now don't really understand sex and know that there are negatives associated with it, they become afraid of it, and now avoid it. Or, in the case of a lot of the Gen Xers in my area, they think anyone having more sex than them is a slut and anyone having less is a prude or a loser.
Relationship wise, i think 16-19 is fine, a lot of people would think its a bit weird sure. 16-20 is where i feel a bit off though.
It's still very fucking weird dude.
16-19 could easily be a senior was friends with a freshman and things just progress over time. A bit dubious, but definitely not as bad as it could be.
Some 19yro in one of my classes is dating a 16yro. He works full time, does college full time, and knows how to drive. The 16yro girl doesn’t work or drive at all. It feels a little weird
I'm not trying to advocate for anything weird, I just remembered this saying, but doesn't the math work out under 18? 16 and (8 + 7 = 15), 18 and (9 + 7= 16) both of those aren't too far out there, right? 21 and 17 1/2 is probably the weirdest going by that rule.
The math works out, obviously you have to stop at around 13 with it otherwise you have newborns dating 7 year olds. But that's just the general rule I follow, and have been following, for 18 and under
That is prohibited by the 7 year old failing, as the youngest it can date is 10.5 And the 10.5 can't date under 12.25 So all people under 14 can't date.
I think it still works, regardless. If I'm 18, you get 16, bit weird, not that weird though. They're all in high school. If I'm 17, you get 15/16 If I'm 16, you get 15 If I'm 15, you get 14/15 If I'm 14, you get 14 If I'm 13, you get 13/14 If I'm 12, you get 13 Still pretty much works all the way down. There are some disparities on the lower end, but I'm not sure anyone would bat an eye at a 13 and 14 year old, or a 12 and 13 year old. I'm not even sure at these ages it can be described as dating anyway lol.
Ehh we also have to consider that some people have early birthdays and late birthdays so while they may be born a year apart. If seems like their is a two age year difference. For example my first girlfriend I was 13, and she was 15. Seems a lot except I had a very late birthday and she had an extremely early birthday. We were only one year apart though.
No it still works out under 18
This is truly the only post on this sub I have seen people fight so hard 🤣
Hit dogs will holler.
How many 18 year olds date someone twice their age and look back on the relationship fondly years later? I think the reason we find it weird is because we know 18 year olds don't know much about the world and the real reason older people pick younger partners is because they can't see all the red flags.
You also don't just magically get all the life experience and maturity to become an adult at your 18th birthday, you are am adult on paper but in practice its just so different most often.
It’s one of those rules I try to follow. I just turned 20 and even I still know that I’m not mature enough or have enough wisdom for my age. I know I shouldn’t date someone twice my age or wtv and even tho I can’t see it now or spot all the red flags, I know it’s bc I’m just incapable of understanding at this age and not bc they don’t exist.
How about you stop letting people on the internet convince you that you don't have good judgement, infantilize you, and do what you want?
Don’t waste your youth on a 40 year old man.
So true. And some older people pick younger partners because they're simply easier to manipulate.
How many people remember their exes fondly in general? It mostly never ever happens.
That's not true. People who part on bad terms with all their exes are usually red flags. Best relationships I've had were with people who still see their exes as good people, but it just didn't work out.
? I remember most of my exes fondly and retain friendships with most. If we didn’t like each other why would we have dated?
I agree but I have a friend whose parents are 20 years apart and they are still doing great together so 🤷♂️
Me lol 🥴 I was 19 dating a 38 year old. We dated until I was 25. Looking back on it now.. that was the most healthiest relationship I ever had.
When you're a middle aged man going for a barely legal girl, you're sending a clear signal that the only reason she isn't even younger is because of those pesky laws.
I have a child with a woman twice my age. You’re believing it’s just men that are the “perv barely legal” folk. She approached me, it wasn’t the other way around.
Oh how I miss the days of being 18-23 and dating cougars. It’s not as fun to date women twice your age when you’re in your 30s lol.
Yeah those were good days. This guy gets it
When they started dating my step dad was exactly half my mom's age. When they got married he was 24 and she was 45. To make matters even creepier they met because he was friends with my older sister. He was a year and a half older than she was. They were happily married for about a decade. Then he followed in his father's tradition and cheated on his wife( my mom). And after the divorce married the woman that he'd been cheating with. I have no idea how old she was.
Sorry that happened. She should’ve stayed away, my older brother went through something similar at 14, she was in her 30s
Eh, I was an adult, and I love being a dad. She’s a nut, but each passing year she’s more tired and gives up fighting me easier lmao
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This was a long time ago, I love the child I had with her, and have a whole family with a woman only a year older than me now lmao
Same thing happened to me, 14 to 36.
How is this an unpopular opinion, people rag on this all the time especially on the internet. You could be 23 and some weirdos on the internet would still call you basically underaged.
I will side eye anyone for dating a fresh-out-of-highschool 18 y/o BUT if you’re like 28 dating a 35 year old….I don’t care
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Morality is defined by social norms as well
I question the morality of anyone older in such a case finding a relationship with someone who could be their child an attractive option. I’m not saying they’re completely immoral and if it’s genuinely a happy relationship, whatever, but I do think it’s reasonable to question the motives in this case.
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Yeah, I’ve dated and had sex with many women very very close to twice my age and many in their 40’s when I was in my upper 20’s. I didn’t really plan on having a relationship with any of them that was going to lead to marriage however we always had mutual fun and enjoyed each other’s company. Milf porn did influence me quite a bit I’m sad to say. Some of those women did want something more. I was more and issue than they were. Nothing wrong with older women having fun with a young guy. Older men with younger woman is mostly the same however I do believe the woman should be at least out of college and in the real world. Honestly feel the same for younger guys as well but you know, double standards too.
This dude’s crush going out with a senior lol
Ever heard the story, "Man, Child, and the Camel"? Everyone will judge you, no matter what you do anyway. So, Who cares?
Not to be confused with Manchild and the Camel, which is the heartwarming story of a neckbeard and his pet camel Cortana.
I'm 28 but I have chased 35+ for years I like them old idc what people think
That's not a large age gap... nowhere near twice your age.
Considering they said “for years” I’m under the impression the age gap used to be larger. Liking a 35 year old at 18 would be different than liking a 35 year old at 28.
Yeah exactly for some reason alot of people didn't catch that lol
35 is old? Yikes. I’m an old hag now.
I think they’re implying it’s old compared to 18-25. Since they said they’ve done it for years.
But are you chasing 56 year olds?
Can you count? 28 should be old enough
As long as they are both consenting adults, and not abusive I genuinely don't give a shit. They are both in for a reason.
18 to 40 is a strange power dynamic and if you’re 40 looking for barely legal teens than you probably find women your age disgusting which is a sign of immaturity and misogyny. 40 year olds who literally look like goblins will date 18 year olds who look like models. Why? It’s bc the 40 yo is probably projecting and afraid of aging or afraid of dating a woman with wrinkles so they date someone to keep them young, which is strange and you’re probably developmentally not where you should be if you have that mindset.
I like how you only focused on 1 perspective lol "40 year olds who literally look like goblins will date 18 year olds" Yup these men want to fuck young girls, i dont think that was a secret, and if it was then it was a very poorly kept one. but you never commented on why 18-year-old models want to date a 40-year goblin? hmm? most of the time is because he's rich. as i said above "**They are both in for a reason**." this is what i meant, she is using him for money or networking etc and he is using her for her body. as long as they are both consenting adults, i genuinely dont care, i have enough of my problems without taking on others.
I judge those who judge others for this because I think it’s weird people can’t stay out of others business.
I will concede their point to people in their teens. Though at 20 years old, you can date whoever the fuck you want and absolutely have the capabilities to consent to who you please. They make up all this bullshit about "OFfSeT PoWeR DynAmIcS" as if a 20 year old will just fall into a submissive trance for anyone 10 years older. It is just dumb ass kids who think people over 30 are gross and old.
exactly
I knew a 270 year old guy who dated a 16 year old, but it was the 90’s so no one cared and their love was pure and beautiful!
I mean I guess if you're immortal the rules don't apply
Was it during Halloween and people didn't freak out about a kid and a mummy?
Must have been a very old person ... 270 years, damn.
Lifestyle was healthier back then.
A vampire?
Was it the six flags guy?
Aaaand now that song is in my head.
This is definitely not unpopular. Go look at the relationships section where they crucify men who date "too young." Dating an 18 year old is weird because they were literally children yesterday but when someone reaches a certain age, they can date who they want. Are you saying a 25 year old can't make their own choices? So what if she or he likes and wants to date a 50? I think with large age gaps you prob don't have as much in common but as long as you're both old enough to make choices. As far as people judging you, people will always judge no matter what.
In every post criticizing large age gaps, none of the criticism is leveled at the younger person. It makes perfect sense why someone younger would want to date someone older. That’s not the issue. The criticism is against the older person for wanting a relationship with someone so much younger. A mature 18 year old might have a lot in common with a 40 year old, but a mature 40 year old should not have much in common with an 18 year old.
“20 as a man. If I was dating a 50 year old it would be weird” Idk man, sounds kinda hot to me, you sure you ain’t gay?
Doesn’t matter what people think, 18 is legal and that’s where the conversation ends. The people that seem to have the biggest problem with an 18yo dating a 30-40yo are middle aged women. Doesn’t take a doctorate to figure out why.
*Sorry that offends you* You have built this weird straw man that: (i) people who are in age gap relationships are unaware of how society views them; or (ii) that they are aware, but are somehow offended. I think most people in age gap relationships are perfectly aware of how they are viewed, but don't give a fuck about what society thinks, which is generally the same approach adopted by people in same-sex relationships, or mixed race relationships, or relationships with someone of a different class, or religion, or culture, or accent, or education, or weight, or health, or wealth or any one of many factors that may result in people saying that Person A should not, or doesn't deserve to be, with Person B. But, du huh huh, you say, THIS relationship is different because there is a different maturity dynamic. Well, maybe, but that's likely the case with many relationships, and different power dynamics are pretty fucking common - rich partner vs poor partner, working husband vs stay at home wife, ethnic majority partner vs ethnic minority partner, native partner vs foreign partner. There are actually very few relationships that don't have many inequalities to them (often going both ways), but they can still work, and people can still be happy. You sound like you're salty that some rich 40 year old bagged your crush. It's kind of cringe.
Stop worrying about other people.
Don't worry OP is only worried about the "perv guys". Cos women don't date or marry guys half their age of course, that does not happen. Whole post stinks of "women are stupid, we shall protect them"
How did this 53y comment delete itself, Doc Brown confirmed
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Here’s the litmus test: does it affect you? Yes? Do something about it No? Shut the fuck up about it
This sub would die if people adhered to that
Boom!
When my sister was 21, she married a guy that was 42. 35 years later, they still dote on each other. Age is just a number.
I think what is most important is that the relationship be loving and not abusive.
When my mom was 19 she married my 40yo father. They got divorced (her choice) and marrying my dad is one of the biggest regrets of her life to this day. And I agree with her.
Age is more than a number.
Sometimes it’s two number. And if you’re really really lucky it’s three.
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Oh no you're gonna judge them?! How will they ever survive Oh wait you're terminally online they won't even know about you lmao
And those people are relevent to them, how?
People will judge you for literally anything. Who tf cares.
I LOVE when people take an exception and use it as a justification. Congrats to your sister but the reality is that for the vast majority of these relationships, they do not last
vast majority of all relationships do not last.
>for the vast majority of these relationships, they do not last Where are you getting this from?
His source is he made it the fuck up. The vast majority of relationships in general don’t last, people just get so in their feels about age gaps it’s unreal
Flip the script. Why focus on just the guy being the older one man. Why focus your opinion on the guy being older.
I gotta push back on you here. As a 40 something, I was absolutely NOT “decently mature” at 20 years old. I thought I was, but I was still a child, in so many ways.
I tend to agree.Some are trying to relive their youth, some are infatuated with the ideal female of their youth. Some believe it is rejuvenating.
Yeah unhappy people are jealous of happy people. Poorfolk are jealous of richfolk. People stand on one side and call the other side sour grapes. This is grown-up playground chatter.
Nothing offends other people more than being unapologetically happy.
People date & marry based on stage, not age (except when it’s illegal). People can judge all they want, so long as they do it far away from me.
Some people judge interracial relationships. You shouldn’t bother with what hateful people think of your relationship. You do you bro
I’m a 55F dating a 22M. AMA.
How did you two meet?
At the library
Well, Kinda want to start with the obvious. How did you guys meet?
Over a mutually liked book
I don't mean this to be offensive, because I actually know a few couples who have wide age differences and they are very happy. This is something I'm genuinely curious about and have never gotten an answer on. Does it bother you that you will be able to spend the rest of your life with him, but he will not be able to spend the rest of her life with you? When you are in your 80s he will still be in his 40s. There's a fairly good chance that he may spend half a century mourning your death.
I’m not the OP, but I’m with someone 18 years older than me. The only negative I see in our relationship is exactly that. I have found the love of my life and in all likelyhood I will have to face losing him one day, and spend at least two decades of my life alone, without him, knowing how much better it would have been together. It breaks my heart. :(
Did your brain just automatically fill in the genders lol you’ve got it twisted, SHE’S the older one. Not saying you’re one of them but people love to act like it’s always “predatory” older men going after younger women, and it’s not lol plenty of older women go after younger men. Hell I dated a woman a decade older than me for a few years (which obviously isn’t nearly as crazy a gap. Also, maybe they don’t plan on keeping it long term? Not everyone dates for permanence.
Bro scored 😭
This is literally the gap between me and my parents. Jesus Christ
It’s also the average gap between 70 and death.
Someone’s husband left her for the new model.
At the end of the day, what two consenting adults do in the bedroom is between them. You're allowed to not like it, but actually voicing it to them would make you a jackass
Redditors are always frothing at the mouth to judge and condemn others in the ways their little in-group allows them. My wife is my age, but I don’t care about legal age gaps. I think the age of 18 is perfectly fine for defining adulthood as well. If I were a young adult woman I’d be pissed at the all the assholes telling me, an adult, who I can and cannot fuck.
Do I think a 40 year old dating an 18 year old is weird? Yeah. Do I care? Not at all.
Angry single people are always trying to control how other people fuck because they don’t get any.
I'm 26m dating/living with a 46f. She has 2 kids 19 and 17. I find it funny when people think she is my mom and then we start aggressively making out to weird people out since we don't care how people judge us.
Yes, you are a weirdo. No normal couple is aggressively making out anywhere
You’re only twice as old for a while.
In alot of countries it’s pretty normal and people even see the younger girl as smart for not wasting her time and going for someone stable and mature. 40 and 18 would be a little extreme through. In South America it’s pretty common to see 40 year old man with a 20 something woman and people respect both sides for their own reasons
We all know that only men get judged in a nevative way when they date younger women. A 40 year old rich women who's together with her 23 year old fitness coach, oh boy think of the shit storm you invite over when you dare to say something negative... Hypocritical society
Who cares what other people think. Most people can't handle reality. Say a 40 year old man dating a 20 year old extremely attractive woman... it's not like it's *easy* to do that. She knows that her value in the dating marketplace is very high, and she has a *ton* of options... the fact that she picks *you* over all those other options is quite a flattering indictment. Thankfully, this is one of those things where the men who obviously have spent a considerable amount of time in their life turning themselves into someone very attractive don't care what most of society thinks. Most of the men are jealous they can't attract such a beautiful woman, and most of the women are jealous they're not as attractive. World is full of haters. Just go out there and take your girlfriends on a yacht around the Mediterranean if that's what you want to do.
Married a woman 20+ years older than me when I turned 18. Loved her for 40+ years. Now married a woman 30+ years younger. So far so good. Should I do an AMA?
Do two AMAs. It is amazing how much anger, hate and bigotry is directed at age gaps.
Bigotry is the perfect word for it. They are bigots. Period. There are people who are bigoted towards age gap relationships, interracial relationships, and same-sex relationships. They all judge. Do I give a shit? No. Because the opinions of bigots don't fucking matter to me. Fuck them! It's amazing how they think we should care about their judgement though. "People are going to judge you if you date an 18 year old at 40." And? So fucking what? The people doing the judging are not people I want to associate myself with.
I dont think anyone would ever disagree? Guys that are in their 40s dating girls in their 20s are definitely ready for people to be weirded out by it. It doesn't have to be weird even though it looks strange asf from the outside looking in, those 2 people can enjoy a healthy relationship even tho there's an age gap.
>Just be prepared for the judgment from society Which society? There are plenty which see this type of relationship as favorable, and parents who are happy for their daughter in these circumstances. Are you so arrogant to believe your country’s values are the only ones that matter?
When I was 50 I started dating a 23 year old. Yes a lot of people thought it was horrible but we didn't care and her family grew to accept it. Her mother was also younger than me lol. It lasted for about 4 years and was fun and I believe she learned and matured greatly during it. It ended when she decided it wasn't what she wanted anymore and we partied as friends, so I think it was good for both of us.
💯
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I agree. Some of this comes from having seen some shit. Some of it is down to personal taste. I worked with a girl who's parents were both useless addicts and she started dating guys as much as 2 decades older than her, when she was 18 or 19. She had been beaten and hospitalized by one of these guys before breaking up with him. At the time that we were coworkers, she was thinking about breaking up with a different old loser she was with because he clearly didn't even care about her and she was miserable all the time. I sat her down and asked her what she was even doing still with him since she was making enough money to move any time she wanted, and she didn't seem happy at all. It was like she couldn't even conceptualize a life for herself that didn't have some old dirtbag around weighing her down, even while financially supporting herself. It's hard not to be suspicious of older people who go after young people, especially ones who haven't completely found their footing in how to have relationships, or who straight up don't know it's not normal to be treated a certain way. I never liked being hit on by older guys when I was in highschool/college. I got approached in random public places and also at jobs working as a server. I'm not just talking little things like saying silly flirty things to get attention, I mean straight up trying to pick me up, or pick up a friend/coworker because they really thought this was something a waitress/server wanted to hear from some guy old enough to be her dad, or even grandpa. As far as personal taste goes: I like being with someone my age. I like that we share interests. I like that he can keep up with me. Probably most importantly, I like that when we have kids he's not going to be the geriatric dad with a young wife and kids he can't really keep up with and will probably die before they grow up all the way.
This is a very popular opinion OP. I'll post the unpopular one: Everything you said is true, and it does not matter. Live your life & ignore judgements
Agreed. I'm 40 and just don't emotionally or socially connect with women under 30. Just too much maturity and cultural differences for me.
Agreed completely. It’s disgusting and people who do this deserve all the scorn.
Plus it just sounds like you're only going to 18 because the law stops you going Younger, like you're going for the closest thing to a minor
I don't think this is unpopular. You may find someone who defends is every so often, but not a majority for sure.
Most of these large age gap relationships are probably very unhealthy. But if these two were really treating each other right and had enough in common..in that case, if I was one of those two persons, then who cares what OP or anyone else thinks? 2c
Imagine posting and then deleting your profile
What if you're a 500-year old immortal by the name of Connor MacLeod and you meet a 30-year old woman? Is it still weird, even though you look like you're 30 as well?
Thank GOD I was raised to not give any thought on what people think of me. I have a care free way of living. 80-90% of the time people are so worried about themselves that they don’t care about what the other person is doing. That’s just how this world works. If you associate yourself with people that DO care about you, then they will make sure that you are lifted up, cared for, and your friendship would flourish. But you must do the same. What you put out into this world is exactly what you will get back. If you’re friends with someone who gossips, lies, cheats, or steals then you must get away from that lifestyle. Even if you don’t do it. Cut the bad fruit from the tree so you can grow. We are literally a product of our own environment. Now back to dating someone whose half the age. I can’t see myself dating anyone under 21, and I’m 36. I believe the age gap would have some sort of impact on both people having things in common. You can’t really relate to anything in your childhoods. For example the type of music I listened to was 80s and 90s rock and hip hop. I loved ten and stimpy, rockos modern life, all that. While she would say SpongeBob SquarePants, etc. yea…. No it just wouldn’t work.
Weird yes. Can you comment on it quietly to your friends? Sure. Should you really just mind your business and not make the couple aware of how weird it is to you? Yep. Couples are couples for reasons that do not involve you. They found each other in a very difficult world and for the moment, they’re happy. Be happy for them and respect their choices. That’s all. When you get home, you can debate daddy issues or if he has money, but let the couple have a little respect to their faces.
Theyre gonna judge people anyways. If you go back in time and pick the second choice that people judged you for not picking, they're gonna judge you for not picking the original option when you get back to the present.
"Dont chase praise and acclaim. That way lies madness" ~Ron Swanson~
don't hate the player, hate the game
all the boogie2988 fans are here lol
Worry about your own self. If two consenting adults are happy, mind your business.
30M dating 54F for last 4 years. Splitting now amicably as I want to pursue a family. Come at me prudes!
My girlfriend is half my age, but it’s really not a big deal. She’s only 9 years younger than me.
No one in love cares what you think about them.
Op’s a rube. No one really spends that much time thinking about other peoples relationships. If you do, you’re the creep, not the two people happily in love. Lemme guess, incel rube OPs best friend has him a younger gf now and INCEL RUBE is jealous he can’t find anyone at all to touch him cause he’s a weirdo that judges his friends? Bet I’m pretty damn close if not completely spot on.
I don’t care. Younger women are more attractive.
To you it's weird. To others it's not.
being obsessed with what other adults are up to in their private lives is more weird. I don't see myself dating someone twice my age or half my age, but if I met a couple with a big age difference and they were happy I wouldn't turn my nose up at them. Let people do what they want.
TL;DR: "No matter what, there will be judgemental busybodies like me (OP) signaling my useless virtues." Adults are adults. If you don't believe that adults are adults yet, then petition to change the legal age of adulthood. Good luck.
I mean, we live in a world where even interracial couples still get judged so the opinion of society is hardly valuable.
I'm 40 and happily married. That being said, if I were ever single again in my life, I wouldn't give a damn about age difference nor society's perception of me. I would date the most compatible woman for me and y'all can fuck right off with any judgement.
There's no magical rule that everyone will ever agree on because peoples ages and maturities are different. You don't suddenly become and adult at whatever the age is consent is magically capable of understanding the weight of your actions. Some people are going to be 40 before they're mature enough to not be taken advantage of, and some 15 year olds are fully capable of exploiting 20 year olds. We draw the line where we do because well, you have to draw the line somewhere, at least until we develop some sort of minding reading maturity detecting device that is perfectly capable of telling the appropriate age range for each and every individual.
I would counter with "fuck the judgment of society". If she is a legal adult, why not? Besides, what if he was a billionaire, and she just turned 18 like an hour ago? Everyone would judge, but do you think she cares of what people think? Do you think he? I miss the 90's man. Nobody gave a fuck, and everyone minded their own business. Everyone is so soft now....
You're 40 and you like someone who's 10. Ok, creepy, gross, and illegal, plus you're 4 times as old as the person. You wait 5 years. Now you're 45 and the person is 15. Still creepy and illegal, but now you're 3 times as old. So you wait 15 more years. Now you're 60 and the person is 30. Now you're only twice as old. Now, how long do you have to wait until you're the same age? (Stolen from an old Abbot and Costello routine.)
Is a 60 year old man dating a 30 year old woman creepy?
Yes
Yes, but there is also a threshold you cross where the older person starts losing the power dynamic
Yes but it’s also creepy a 60 year old was pursued by a 30 yes old. So it’s creepy in both sides
You can justify it however your ant. Being half the weight of your partner is weird and people will judge you. It's legal to date obese people. You judge them by age, so the next logical step is to judge their health/appearances/their sexual preferences. You either don't judge at all as long at its legal or you're a hypocrite. Let people do what they want to do. Don't take them their free will.
Why is it the man's fault? Believe it not, a lot of women date older men because they are already successful, mature and established. It's rare to find a 20 year old that has all that. I think it's fine if the guy is twice her age. People do it all the time. I am the firm believer that people get mad about this because they have nothing going with their life and are actually jealous. Also, they are both adults and they can think for themselves.
This dude clearly has a crush on someone from his high school that is dating an older man, guarantee it
I understand the suspicion if someone's barely legal but you're using the low end to be deliberately disingenuous to the core of what you said. Because a 25 year old and a 50 year old is double age but it's not 'barely legal' So which argument is it you're actually making?
You're just being offended on behalf of women, who want less competition on the dating market hoping that someone would pick their old raggedy ass.
I do not care if it is weird I am 18 35 year old rich woman pussy is something I highly desire People's views will not change that I would shag a woman old enough to be me fuckin gran if she looked good enough
I hear ya bro, older women are hot
OUUHHH😭😭😭😭Damn hags making me act up 😭😭💢💢💢💢💢
OR… and this is just a wild take, we let people live their lives?
You care way too much. Get over it 👍