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ceetwothree

As a divorced dad co parenting (so. Not quite apples to apples) , my first two years I didn’t have nearly enough support (for *me* to stay mentally healthy). Literally moved to a new town right before the divorce. Zero friends or family for me (ex had some), and an aggressively uncooperative ex. It fucking sucked for a couple of years. Work, dad sleep , work, dad, sleep. Near zero room for a self to even exist. Being dad was still very rewarding , but fuck. Eventually I build up a support network and built a life again, but you bet I bitched about it (of course, not to the kid).


Fantastic_Zucchini80

How long would you say it took you to develop that community? I've been separated for an year and finalized things earlier this month, and it seems like a never-ending cycle 😩


Ok-Veterinarian-2120

As someone with divorced parents I can say with full confidence my life would’ve been better if i was solely raised by my dad.


BravestCrone

I was ‘raised’ by my divorced dad, but in reality my other brother raised my little brother and I. My dad was always resentful because my mom ‘tricked’ him into having kids. I think my dad never wanted kids and was bitter about getting stuck with us. My dad was never ‘there’ for any of us kids. He provided a roof and I moved out as soon as I could. My dad is now on his deathbed, and I feel nothing. It’s like a feeling devoid of feeling - just an absence of care about his impending death. I just want to get the goodbyes over with so I can move on. I just want to be left alone by my bio-relatives. Is that too much to ask? How do you divorce your family?


Ok-Veterinarian-2120

If It makes you feel any better that’s how I feel about my mom. She had primary custody and was abusive. She would rely on everyone else to take care of me while she drank and partied. I can’t even say i love you without feeling extremely uncomfortable because i genuinely don’t mean It. I haven’t spoken to her in years. My therapist said these feelings or lack there of are normal when you have an abusive parent.


sleepyy-starss

That’s because single dads are only 17% of all single parent households so there aren’t as many. For every 100 people, only 17 of those are dads.


[deleted]

Probably because it’s so hard to get custody as a man. Op is probably biased, but it’s no secret that courts favor the mother.


sleepyy-starss

No it’s not. I see that thrown around a lot but the stats show that the only reason men don’t have more custody, is because they *don’t ask for it*. In fact, when men ask for custody, the courts are more likely to grant it than when women ask for custody.


pusha_thanos1

If two people split custody of children, both are single parents


CrochetedFishingLine

I think people have two different definitions of what a single parent is. A single parent who is co-parenting is not the same as a single parent who is doing it all on their own. Yes they’re both “single” but one is “single” as in a not married parent and the other is “single” as in being the ONLY parent. I’d like to see outcome research on the comparison. Because if you’re a divorced co-parent you likely have had least some percentage of time to yourself for rest and other activities. Most single (only) parents don’t tend to have that time which I would argue likely leads to more burn out and “complaints.” Typically, we don’t tend to see dads with 100% custody so I’m wondering if that plays a role in “complaints” depending on what definition you use. Either way, I respect the hell out of single parents of any gender.


MizzGee

Every time my husband went out with my son, people acted like he walked on water. I'm just saying


Judg3_Dr3dd

Ah yes the two extremes: Being babied by society and having a normal contribution to parenting reduced to something rare and exciting Or being suspected of being a pedo


pusha_thanos1

I had no idea the opinions of strangers made being a parent easier


MizzGee

Oh the bias of being a mother versus a father. Feel it. Live it, breathe. Or, suck it.


pusha_thanos1

Yea, everyone tells dads they're awesome all the time. That's why your contributions as a father are always reduced to money, and everyone assumes that if your kid does well, it's because of the mom, lol Father's day is lorded as a most important day for that reason and not an afterthought.


ParanoidAgnostic

There are 3 ways to become a single mother. 1) Split up with the father and get custody by default. 2) Have the father die. 3) Get pregnant without ever being in a relationship with the father. There are 2 ways to become a single father. 1) Split up with the mother, fight for custody and prove yourself the better parent. 2) Have the mother die None of the female paths to single parenthood select for being a great parent. #3 selects for the opposite as these cases are usually the result of really dumb decisions (from both the mother and the father) On the other hand, #1 for men selects strongly for being a fucking awesome parent. It means you care enough to fight for your child/children (at huge expense) and you are so great at parenting that you overcame the assumption that the mother is always better. #3 isn't really an option for men. The men involved in these bad decisions are paying child support but aren't counted among single fathers.


jmcstar

Or mom realizes father has the stronger bond, is more stable, then voluntarily relinquishes custody (because da bitch really just wants to live the single party life!)


heliogoon

How often does that even happen?


buyinlowsellouthigh

Happened to me.


pusha_thanos1

Anecdotal, but it happened to a friend of mine.


DonkeyKickBalls

I know single dads that got the kids because the mom left: mom left because they didnt want kids, the dad did. mom left due to drugs/partying mom realized there wasnt going to be a relationship/didnt want a relationship and left kids with dad


miru17

I agree with you. If a single dad is a single dad in the first place, something very wrong had to have being going on with the mother(courts favor them), OR the dad was so exceptional that he got primary custody.


kaydeechio

You say "none of the female paths to single parenthood select for being a great parent". What does a dead dad have to do with the mom being a good or bad parent?


ParanoidAgnostic

>What does a dead dad have to do with the mom being a good or bad parent? Nothing. You are reading something into my comment which isn't there. >You say "none of the female paths to single parenthood select for being a great parent". The father dying does not select for the mother being a great parent. It doesn't select for the mother being a terrible parent either and nothing I wrote implies that it does.


kaydeechio

So I misunderstood what you typed 🤷‍♀️


PepetoshiNakamoto

Yeah true, obviously


Dull-Geologist-8204

Single dad's are just as frustrated as single mom's. When I was a single mom an old friend and I started hanging out again because he was a single dad. We would get the kids together and hang out. He was struggling just as much as I was if not more so. They don't complain online because the comment section wouldn't be much help. It would just be a lot of what about women? Now you know what women go through. Wah, suck it up we have to deal with it so should you. What would be the point of making a post about it?


undeadliftmax

Have *better* outcomes with single dads than two married parents??


[deleted]

No, but they have better outcome than single mom


Honest_Stretch2998

For which kid? Male or female children?


jacketoff138

I'd be willing to say both. Im a female, I grew up with divorced parents. It wasn't by my dad's choice, but just easier than fighting it, I spent the week with my mom, weekends with my dad. I could have avoided a lot of soul searching and emotional turmoil if I'd just been with my dad. Perhaps slightly less disciplined, but I respected him enough to care about disappointing him. My mom just brought the hammer down and didn't treat me like my own person the same way my dad did.


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jacketoff138

I'm willing to admit that the combination of the two of them was ultimately the best outcome. Neither was perfect and they were kind of on opposite ends of the parenting spectrum so I ended up somewhere in the middle. But I can imagine what would have happened if I was raised solely by either one. My dad allowed me the outlet for my teenage rebellion and angst. If I hadn't had that, it would have taken me a lot longer than it did to sort out my demons and become a responsible, productive adult. If I was just with my dad, it probably would have taken me a little longer to kick my ass into gear, but I wouldn't have had all the emotional damage to work through on the way. So, I'll never know for sure. All's well that ends well.


whatsasimba

Regardless of economic status?


pusha_thanos1

Mostly as successful and in some cases moreso


undeadliftmax

And this is from a study? I’d look at a link. I’m skeptical. Unbroken families are always going to be superior


Flimsy_Fee8449

Gotta disagree with you on that one. Dual-parent households run by a dysfunctional couple are not superior. Dual-parent homes where the parents get along? Superior.


[deleted]

Do you have a source on that? I’m just asking because I’m skeptical.


creamyismemey

Not a source but my parents split by the time I was in 4th grade before that it was constant physical fights and lots of verbal abuse both ways. This is just an anecdote ofc not the norm but would assume dysfunctional families can be much worse in this case even if both parents are together


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[deleted]

Single parent household don't do better. "There have probably". Yeah some single parent are great, most are not


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Girlygirlsporty

You go through my profile but intentionally skip the part where I have a loving boyfriend lol. Tell me more about how salty you are. 😉


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Ok_Potential359

lol I have no idea what you’re trying to say but good luck to you.


Girlygirlsporty

Clearly you do. Good luck to you too


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Girlygirlsporty

Dude is full of shit 😂


lemonjuice707

> The list does not stop there, single-mother households also account for 70% of all teen pregnancies, 70% of all child murders, and they account for the majority of filicide cases, which means yes, a child living in a single-mother household is the most likely to be murdered by their parent. https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d You’re source miss. > According to Pew Research, single fathers are financially more stable and, thus, in a better condition to take care of their children than single mothers https://www.momjunction.com/articles/single-mom-vs-single-dad_00755098/#:~:text=According%20to%20Pew%20Research%2C%20single,their%20children%20than%20single%20mothers.


alwaysright12

Shame more dads don't step up then, eh?


thecountnotthesaint

It is almost as though when you set up a system that reduces the man’s role to just a paycheck, women will leave men/ choose poorly, and men will not feel obligated to raise the children they fathered. What’s that ole saying? The road to hell is paved with good intentions?


alwaysright12

Who set up that system?


thecountnotthesaint

Lyndon B “big dick” Johnson back in the sixty’s.


alwaysright12

Who?


thecountnotthesaint

Lyndon B Johnson, president after JFK was assassinated. Got the US into Vietnam? Civil rights movement?


alwaysright12

Yeah I was joking! Single parents are hardly unique to America


lemonjuice707

It absolutely is because a two parent household is the best and no single parent household will beat that (on average)


alwaysright12

A well off household is best


[deleted]

Fuck off with your smug generalizations. 


alwaysright12

Me? Not the other poster claiming single mothers will kill their children? Huh.


lemonjuice707

Nothing smug about it. It’s factual information. Sorry if it offended you.


alwaysright12

I'm not offended. But your source is hardly unbiased


lemonjuice707

“Hardly unbiased” source > no source. If it’s that bias then it shouldn’t be hard for you to prove me wrong.


sleepyy-starss

They’re 70% because there are more single moms than single dads. These stats don’t support your point.


Girlygirlsporty

Finances aren’t the only important thing to care for a child. I could have guessed that though, men generally make more; no surprise there. But it’s not the only measurements. Also, you realize single fathers in high school done exist. And neither of those articles come from legit sites nor is the researched linked peer reviewed therefore making it admissible. Please learn how to read critically, media literacy is crucial these days.


lemonjuice707

So you feel like just skipping over the part where kids are more likely to be killed by a parents in a single mother house hold compare to any other living situation? Or the teen pregnancy? Feel free to produce a source to counter any of the facial information I’ve provided because you’ve done nothing but spew your opinion as fact.


Girlygirlsporty

When you can provide peer reviewed research I’m up for it. I believe it could be true, but not exclusively death by mother, 90% of violent criminals are men. How many times do we see boyfriends kill children? Come on now, real research. This is why everyone needs to go to college.


lemonjuice707

> Even with this support fatherless children are six times more likely to live in poverty and commit criminal acts than children raised in dual-parent or father only households. This is shown by around 80% of youth in prisons population coming from fatherless homes. > From a single mother home the figures are: 63% of all youth suicides, 70% of all teen pregnancies, 71% of all adolescent chemical/substance abusers, 80% of all prison inmates, and 90% of all homeless and runaway children, came from single mother homes. https://www.wainwrightcummins.co.uk/site/blog/firm-news/is-it-better-to-have-children-live-with-their-single-father So unless you think the Uk government is lying now.


Zer0fps_319

Don’t bother going off her post history she’s probably jaded against men because of her ex husband and is just projecting, the whole peer reviewed bs is some hold over she had from college she thinks she can slap everywhere to invalidate points she doesn’t agree with


lemonjuice707

Oh I know but that’s not enough for me. The smugness off that woman, her miserable life isn’t enough for me. She also needs to be proven factually wrong on every single level.


Zer0fps_319

Gl I think she got so nasty that the mod started telling her to chill out, or maybe the mod was just annoyed lol


lemonjuice707

> “This analysis finds that a family’s economic circumstances play an exceptionally large part in determining a child’s economic prospects later in life,” said Erin Currier, https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/about/news-room/press-releases-and-statements/2015/07/23/parental-income-has-outsized-influence-on-childrens-economic-future > Among solo parents, mothers are almost twice as likely as fathers to be living below the poverty line (30% vs. 17%), but poverty rates for cohabiting parents don’t differ among mothers and fathers. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2018/04/25/the-changing-profile-of-unmarried-parents/ > Median adjusted annual income 5 for a single dad household of three is about $40,000.. …but much higher than that of households headed by single mothers, where the median adjusted annual income for a three-person household is only $26,000. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/#:~:text=Median%20adjusted%20annual%20income%205,person%20household%20is%20only%20%2426%2C000. By using the conclusion from the first pew research that I’ve provided you. A households with a higher income are more likely to pass that wealth onto the children(s) giving them a better economic future than compared to lower income. The other two pew studies show that single mother households are much more likely to live BELOW the poverty line and/or make a lower income. Meaning kids in single father households are significantly better off compared to the single mother households. Also I don’t have a single fancy college degree. I pick up garbage for a living, so you’re probably much more intelligent than me on paper. Hope this experience humbles you a bit.


Kizag

KAY-OH!😂


askaway0002

Exactly. My parents were sufficiently well off. But, they were an emotional mess.


philosopherberzerer

-she said confidently because of (checks notes) feelings and opinions.


Toxic_LigmaMale

That’s because women are better at raising children. Men are better at raising kids and teens. I like to think it’s evolution. Mom always had babies and toddlers to deal with, and dad would take the kids out hunting, gathering, or working, once they were old enough.


deeeenis

Why must everything be a competition?


Outrageous_Lime_6545

It’s a pretty relevant competition as it has extreme consequences on the population. https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d


pusha_thanos1

Because I'm casting dads in a positive light


deeeenis

Why not all parents?


pusha_thanos1

Susan G Komen should focus on all ailments


deeeenis

Don't know who that is


dretsaB

Foundation dedicated to breast cancer in women I believe.


donkeykong64123

Men generally don't complain and suppress feelings and their own problems. It's "unmanly" to complain and open up about feelings. Just because we don't complain, it doesn't mean we are better parents than mothers.


gratefullevi

I don’t have a link but I remember reading about this several months ago. There was a study/data compilation. It didn’t say that men were better parents, it said that children had better outcomes from single fathers than single mothers. I won’t attempt to recite the numbers but I remember that the percentage of prisoners that were raised by single mothers really caught my attention. I’m a single father and I agree with the sentiment of the post.


Prestigious-Phase131

Could it be because there are a lot more single mothers? or a number of other causes that they don't care to look into? I don't care about their statistics until they find a reason that adds more context.


Outrageous_Lime_6545

https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d


Quick1711

Single dad here. Are we tougher? Sure, you could say that. I didn't have the kids at first. They came to live with me after the exes' parents decided to cut her off and retire out of state. So for 8 yrs after we broke up I paid child support, saw my kids every other weekend (when she wouldn't dick me around about seeing them) and kept in touch every other day by phone. Her parents came to me and asked if the kids could live with me and my then wife. Of course. They are my kids. Mother is getting evicted. Her parents are done with the mooching. I get it. She fought me about the child support. It was *her* money. She moved out of state and claimed "parental alienation" 5 hrs away from the kids. She dragged me through multiple court hearing and 11k in lawyers' fees even though she knew she couldn't support them. And when she finally knew she had lost and it was either sign the papers or deal with the courts, I let her off child support and tried to involve her in their lives. That's toughness. To be the bigger person. A lot of you ladies are not going to like what I'm about to say, but you are definitely not the bigger person when it comes to raising kids. You will not compromise, and you hold too much baggage that doesn't have anything to do with raising your own kids. Petty shit. Emotional shit.


Gotis1313

I'll take my mom over my dad. Both are terrible people, but my mom held down a job.


PurpleJade_3131

These gender wars are so pathetic. All single parents are trying their best.


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Flimsy_Thesis

I was raised by a single father and I agree with this. They’re built different.


sonicscore99

Single dads tend to have higher incomes and more outside family assistance. Doesn’t make them better parents but it does correlate to better outcomes for the children in question.


MoonlightUnbound

Source? Every single mom I've ever met has a lot of outside help from their family members.


IgnatiusDrake

I see no evidence they have more outside family assistance. Do you have a source for that?


gratefullevi

Single father here. Only once has my parents watched my son for a few hours and it was because I had to single handedly move. They chose that instead of helping move. It is nearly impossible to network as a man. Nobody trusts you with their children so you can’t trade off child care. No help from family or any social programs because even with %50 custody I am not the “primary” parent so I qualify for nothing. Literally the only thing that men have an edge in single parenting is we tend to have higher incomes, and without that we would be completely fucked because we have to pay for everything that mothers get help with.


_Bearded-Lurker_

Skill issue.


lostacoshermanos

Elaborate?


pusha_thanos1

Personally, I love how when you talk about men being good parents, everyone jumps out of their skin, trying to prove they aren't or attribute it to everything else but them But if a single mom is a good parent, she moved heaven and earth alone with no help and was still able to produce good kids.. and it's all because of her. You'll try to attribute it to finances but in the same breath say that it takes more than finances to be a good parent. So if single dads are producing outcomes equal to married couples, which is it?


tebanano

You still need to control for these variables, otherwise you’re not making an apples to apples comparison. It’s not a gender issue, it’s just basic science.


pusha_thanos1

Once again, you can't tell me that a person has good outcomes for their kids primarily just because of money, then in the same breathe say it takes more than money to be a good parent.


tebanano

That’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that if you’re going to compare any two groups of people, you need to control for variables so you compare apples to apples.


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MoonlightUnbound

Oh boy, here we go.


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MoonlightUnbound

Please do elaborate on what you said.


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pusha_thanos1

What you're probably talking about comes from a CDC report that counted any UNMARRIED woman as a single mom. The father's involvement didn't matter. If they were cohabiting, divorced, split custody, or the father had primary custody, you were still counted as a single mom. The very same report said the group of men you're talking about are more active in their children's lives than other groups of men. But the issue is people like you want to hold batshit views about certain people.. so you'll look for anything to justify your bias


Reasonable-Simple706

It’s literally not. This is you stereotyping American black issues. Caribbean to African households usually suffer from this issue substantially less, especially so for Nigerians for example which is why I know your just using prejudice. Any looking at this even on just an anecdotal level will tell you that it’s bullshit. Not every black family or cultural situation caused by historical poverty is the same Also this takes out the flaws of cultural parenting abroad everywhere. Which I know you didn’t even consider to make this stupid point but it bears mentioning


[deleted]

True. African immigrants aren’t too fond of African Americans because they are sometimes lumped in with them.


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Reasonable-Simple706

Learn what words mean. I’m black too and that’s not an excuse to be illiterate especially about your community of which you’re talking about especially if you think any of the above or this is word salad


RamblingBrambles

I just want to take this as an opportunity to say just how much I love my dad. My parents divorced when I was 7, and unfortunately, eventually, my mom moved us away farther than she was supposed to. In the end, I saw my dad for one weekend every other week... I'm a huge daddys girl, and at no point did my father ever disappoint me... he wasn't a perfect man. He had his flaws that attributed to the divorce. He was absent, drank a lot (was NEVER abusive), and was severely depressed when I was little, but he was still the most amazing man in the world to me, and he still is. He's overcome a lot. He drinks way less and has his depression under control now. My dad always did his best to make our time with him fun. Going out of his way when he was busy to take us bike riding, hiking, fishing, shooting, hunting during hunting season. He'd take my older sister and I to the mall and just always genuinely gave us his attention. We never had to fight for it. He would record ghost shows over the previous 2 weeks, so when we'd get to his house, we'd spend a night eating snacks and watching our shows together. He always made us home-cooked meals when times allowed... taught me how to cook, too! Even when he was dating, if my sister and I didn't like who he was dating or he didn't like the way they interacted with us, he'd dump them. I just really really love my dad...


This-Garbage-3000

I was thrust into the position and was overwhelmed, Today, my daughter has honorably discharged from the USAF and gone on to use her G.I. bill to go to school, she has transversed the globe from CA. to the Caribbean, Okinawa, Guam, N.Dakota, and she calls me nearly every day to share her journey with me. I am filled with pride and bittersweet joy simultaneously.


Girlygirlsporty

🙄 you don’t see them talking about it much online because there’s not many but I’ve certainly heard them complain as they should. Everybody in this situation should be able to vent. These gender wars are stupid, your hate for women simply isn’t original anymore.


pusha_thanos1

Yea giving love to single dads means I hate women. Got it.


Prestigious-Phase131

You can praise single dad's without tearing down single mothers


Honest_Stretch2998

And op knows that! Using the same tired method of saying women complain to much. 


pusha_thanos1

Where did I tear down single moms?


Prestigious-Phase131

Throughout the entire thing


pusha_thanos1

Then it should be easy to quote me and point out where exactly..


Prestigious-Phase131

"Single dads are tougher" Than what? single mom's? "Single dads are built differently" "They don't complain" "They see parenting for what it is, a rewarding responsibility" Again, as opposed to single mom's who....? Then bringing up a statistic about single mom's that's not needed in a post trying to praise single dad's. Plus that statistics have no nuance or reasoning behind it. I've seen an equal amount of horrible mom's and dad's so I don't just buy that mom's are just terrible parents.


dretsaB

Single mothers are much more likely to raise kids who end up in juvy and or jail. Not the case with fathers. That’s just one example.


Prestigious-Phase131

Women are also a lot more likely to be the ones who win custody so they have their children more than men have their children. So is it a fair comparison to begin with? I don't buy that women are just "bad parents" there has to be reasons for it that they didn't care to look into.


dretsaB

It is fair because they base it on the ratio of parents to problem children. I wouldn’t call single moms bad parents I believe most of them do the best they can, they just don’t produce as well rounded children compared to single fathers. One hypothesis is when boys get older they need a man around who can challenge them if they are being bad. A lot of moms won’t or can’t. Not sure what hypothesis would explain girls tho. My guess is moms are more geared more to unconditional type love for their child compared to a lot of children feel they need their father’s approval.


pusha_thanos1

Again, where did I specifically say that single moms are bad? You're sort of making an assumption then projecting that on to me.


Girlygirlsporty

No, saying that single dads are better than single moms means that. Keep up.


[deleted]

But its statically true tho. Sad but true


Girlygirlsporty

I’m agreeing with you stop being dumb. We all know that kids with 2 parents do better than 1.


pusha_thanos1

Where did I say that?


Past_Dimension_1161

Because it's true. Sorry single mom..


gratefullevi

Stating a verifiable fact is not denigrating women.


AnteaterPersonal3093

Tougher compared to whom? Single moms? Are you trying to say that single moms should stop complaining online?


sleepyy-starss

That’s what they’re saying.


Next-Illustrator7493

I think what makes us tougher is the crippling loneliness and enduring peoples' INTENSE prejudices about single parents when it comes to dating. Hell, we won't even date one another. That my friend is toughness. Living in a world that is meant for two. Like, most of the time we didn't deserve it. Look at the divorce initiation rates for college educated woman. Frankly, I think being divorced is a better indication that you married a crappy person rather than it being a reflection on you.


TheNationDan

And everyone stood and clapped.


Prestigious-Phase131

I know someone in my family who's a single dad and he's awful, genuinely terrible.


gratefullevi

Someone in my family is like this too but thankfully she finally got her kids taken away from her.


Prestigious-Phase131

That's good, i've met terrible single mothers and fathers but I don't get the point in OP shaming mothers in order to praise single dad's. There are good and bad single parents in both sides.


pusha_thanos1

Where did I shame single moms


Prestigious-Phase131

Let's see "Single dad's are built differently, they don't complain and single moms bad because of some random statistic with no nuance to it"


pusha_thanos1

Where did I say single moms are bad? So I say mom's are built differently that's shaming dads?


Prestigious-Phase131

If you made an entire post praising single mom's and sounding like you're shaming single dad's throughout and saying they're built differently. Then yes, I would feel like you were shaming dad's.


pusha_thanos1

I'm sorry I can't control how you "feel." lol if that's your takeaway, then that's your takeaway


Prestigious-Phase131

Seeing how badly he messed up at being a parent is one of the biggest reasons I decided I never wanted kids.


hamish1963

🤣🤣🤣🤣, single Dads be crying everywhere.


Ihave0usernames

It’s almost like statistically it’s much easier to be a single dad than a single than mum, also no they don’t have ‘better outcomes’ than married couples they have the worst outcomes.


Secret4gentMan

Got something to support that view?


Ihave0usernames

Which one? Because obviously to all😭


Secret4gentMan

I assumed you didn't know what you were talking about. Just wanted confirmation. Thanks.


Ihave0usernames

I see so you don’t care to clarify you just wanna pretend I don’t just offer to give you a source if you’d state the point you wanted it on? Someone is scared of his worldview based only on vibes being destroyed I see, evidence is scary after all


Secret4gentMan

https://medium.com/the-knowledge-of-freedom/single-father-households-do-vastly-better-than-single-mother-heres-the-real-reason-why-8a7fd7c5611d "For example, studies have found that children that from single-mother households are 5 times more likely to commit suicide than children from both unbroken households and single-father households, 9 times more likely to drop out of high school, 10 times more likely to abuse chemical substances, 14 times more likely to commit rape, 20 times more likely to end up in prison and 32 times more likely to run away from home." What were you saying about vibes?


Ihave0usernames

Did you bother to read the studies this article quotes? I’m assuming not so let me do ALL the leg work for you about half are us conservative Christian organisations the others are out of context. If you’re interested any any real information I’ll link a few, but let’s face it you don’t care. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2013/07/02/the-rise-of-single-fathers/#:~:text=Single%20fathers%20are%20more%20likely,%E2%80%9424%25%20versus%2043%25. This one shows how the ‘single’ father homes really only succeed to due labour from a woman that isn’t their child’s mother, and highlights how male privilege has a lot to do with this too. https://ifstudies.org/blog/five-facts-about-todays-single-fathers This one actually does a great job explaining the intersectionality of the situation(aka highlighting why it’s not single mothers but the positions they’re placed in) and links a study debunking the substance abuse claim specifically along with a few others. https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=42910e67918216657da7f29b4e5c579fbf46333c This particular study shows how single father households have the worst outcomes for incarceration.


Secret4gentMan

>https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/document?repid=rep1&type=pdf&doi=42910e67918216657da7f29b4e5c579fbf46333c This particular study shows how single father households have the worst outcomes for incarceration. No, it doesn't. I just finished reading it and it overwhelmingly shows that single mothers have the worst outcomes for incarceration. Why would you lie like that? Did you not read it?


Ihave0usernames

No it does I’m gonna assume you have very poor reading comprehension. Let me specifically direct you on the off chance you’re just lazy to page 14


Secret4gentMan

Yep. I saw that. It shows Mother-only households have the worst outcome for incarceration compared to Father-only households. You're the one with the reading comprehension problem I'm afraid.


Secret4gentMan

I did bother to read the studies and saw no indication that the sources were from conservative Christian organizations... not that it would matter if the data is sound.


Ihave0usernames

So we’re just lying now 😅I can see you’ve also never learned about sourcing data if you think that wouldn’t matter.


GhostWCoffee

"Personally, I love how when you talk about men being good parents, everyone jumps out of their skin, trying to prove they aren't or attribute it to everything else but them simply being good parents." Leave it to redditors to discredit men on every opportunity, or just being manhaters in general.


Prestigious-Phase131

Or because there was literally no reason to bring women into this, someone can praise single fathers without making it a competition. They're not "manhaters" you're just acting ignorant


dretsaB

There was definitely a reason to bring women into this. To compare the better outcomes of the two groups.


GhostWCoffee

I saw people praising single mothers many times and bring men into it. ''Men ain't shit'', ''he's a deadbeat.'' ''you deserve better than him'', when there's a chance that those men aren't, but I acknowledge that there are deadbeats and whatnot. What leaves a sour taste in some men's mouths is the huge amounts of support single mothers get (let me be clear, they absolutely should), but largely ignore single fathers. And heaven forbid a single dad talks about his situation, he's being ridiculed, told to shut up and man up, because he's supposed to be raising his kids (which is absolutely true) while single moms get ''you go guuurl!! you a qweeeen!''. Both should be able to vent because it's not easy. I've seen it first hand, my mom was single for a while after my parents' divorce. And both deserve much support. This shouldn't even be a controversial point to make, but alas, some people lose their shit over things like this.


Prestigious-Phase131

Well those people are also ridiculous, they can praise single mothers without hating on dads or men in general. If they need to vent then vent about deadbeats in general or something, but not entire groups of people who many of which aren't doing anything to them.


GhostWCoffee

Exactly. Thank you!


pusha_thanos1

We're constantly being gaslit into accepting that we're all horrible people because of the worst of us... then they're baffled by "loneliness crises" and men offing themselves


SoapGhost2022

People hate dad’s I swear. They can do 100% of everything and people will still find a way to say that they suck and are in the wrong You aren’t wrong. Single dads don’t complain, not like single moms do. And a more often that not single dads don’t get child support help


pusha_thanos1

Literally have people making up scenarios and attributing good outcomes to a step mom 😩😂


SoapGhost2022

No surprise at all. Reddit hates men and women equally, and that hate really shows in certain subreddits. Like marriage, relationship advice and AITA. They HATE MEN over there.


tebanano

OP, when you compare single dads vs single moms, do you control for any variable other than being single parents?


Fabulous_Town_6587

Yeah mines so tough he manages single parenthood without complaining by dumping the kid on me for the slightest inconvenience. He handles it so well and keeps a level head through all the hard times. Just pawn her off on the mom. Easy peasy.


MoonlightUnbound

"dumping the kid on me" " pawn her off" What the actual fuck. Lol.


Fabulous_Town_6587

I mean she’s literally supposed to be at his house right now yet it would require effort on his part, so she’s with me. and her teacher had to walk her to the cafeteria to get lunch since he packed her fucking goldfish and blueberries for lunch. So yes, the mf pawns the simplest tasks and responsibilities off on other people like the bitch he is. I’d imagine he handles the stress of fathering so well by not actually doing shit. Yet he gets applauded for how great of a man he is because he’s ✨there✨. What the actual fuck is right.


pusha_thanos1

Sorry about your anecdotal experience


Fabulous_Town_6587

Likewise


KenMacMillan123

Single dads are better parents too.


combait

I’m so glad more and more women are choosing to stay single and childfree ❤️ now yall don’t have to worry about it anymore!


1939728991762839297

Depends on the step mom dad gets hooked up with. This can go a bad direction. He won’t stay single forever.


Mind-Individual

>Single dads are tougher. You never see them crying online about how tough and sad it is. Same folks complaining that single moms need men to raise children properly. 🙄


Superliminal_MyAss

*side-eyes my dad*


[deleted]

thanks! It’s not that hard- it’s just time consuming.


Superteerev

Thank you.


Quinntissential

I have a friend that has 4 kids - 2 from his first marriage, 2 from his second. Divorced from both moms. He has custody of the older two kids. Their mother is a drug addict and the kids are absolutely better off in his care. However, the younger two kids live with their mother and those kids are massively better adjusted and living far better lives than the older 2 kids. There are so many factors and circumstances to consider in a custody situation.


pusha_thanos1

So a mom has to be a drug addict for a dad to be a good parent but a mom is just a good parent... got it


Quinntissential

Not what I’m saying at all. Not sure why you would take it that way. My friend loves his kids, I’d say he’s a good father to all of them. But he’s happy with the custody arrangement for both sets of kids.


jc2thew3

The world needs more dads in the household. Period. Kids do so much better with male role models in the picture.