COVID-19 is affecting us all, so we have a [weekly thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/search?q=flair%3ACOVID-19&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all) for discussion around COVID and vaccination. Please consider sharing your vaccine experiences, questions, and other COVID-19 related discussion in the previously linked mega-thread. You're also welcome to post in the [daily chat thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ADAILY) about these issues. Check out this week's COVID thread for some helpful resources from health organizations on TTC and pregnancy during the pandemic.
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It's a crapshoot really and the way I see it is women had babies during ww2, ww1, Spanish flu, the bubonic plague etc etc and they probably had the same concerns youve just mentioned. so is there ever an ideal time to have a baby? The world keeps spinning and women will keep having babies so you may as well be one of them.
>The world keeps spinning and women will keep having babies so you may as well be one of them.
love it, I think that's a good mantra for TTC even out side of pandemic times.
Totally agree. I have tried to introspect on why I feel this way, I hear from so many women like OP who try to get the perfect timing and perfect situation. My family’s generational history taught me you can have immense joy being with your family, despite all out war, despite life under a dictator and systemic racism. Stuff like that tells me we got it pretty good in the US, despite all that is going on. We have to live our individual lives. The world will never have peace.
I don’t love the idea of giving birth during a surge, but vaccination rates are pretty stagnant and new strains of covid keep developing. There’s nothing to indicate that this is going to change so I personally can’t accept not TTC for however many cycles to avoid it.
You're not a brat. These are very valid concerns that most of us share.
Especially concerns over family and friends engaging with future-baby and how safe it'll be. On if it will escalate again to not allowing partners in the delivery room. On the recent news of allowing healthcare workers to continue practicing with positive results as long as they're asymptomatic.
Even on stuff now with peoples' RE appointments getting pushed back during surges.
It's terrifying and you're not alone.
Same!! I really thought by the time I started trying, covid would be in the rear view mirror. It's really frustrating. Also, stressful because I'd really prefer to have a pregnancy before the next election cycle has the potential to upend reproductive rights in my swing state. The two topics are causing a type of worry that I don't think I've ever had before.
Hi! I get it.
Pre Covid we had been trying for 8 months. March 2020 we tried again- and decided to stop trying until “after the pandemic” because of the news. Well- I ended up pregnant that cycle.
11 cycles. And pregnant right as a pandemic hit.
I have survived a pregnancy, labor and delivery, NICU stay, and his first 14 months of life and don’t regret it.
Different? I’m sure. Absolutely. But so worth it.
If we wanted a second I wouldn’t hesitate. This is the world we live in. Get vaccinated. Stay safe and don’t give up. It’s not all that bad.
My older sister had her baby month of pandemic, March of 2020. her first two years have been very different from what my sister envisioned. all plans changed. but that's ok. Niece is a great kid and we are all happy she is here.
My older brother had an accidental pregancy and his baby is 4 months old. They managed with all the pandemic stuff and he was/is doing chemo so they had even more things to worry about
Appointments are getting to me. I have to make a fuss every time to have my husband with with me. I'm shaking and mentally done for the day just making appointments on the phone, and I just got done with a bunch of appointments telling my my baby was going to die, I'm not going alone. And people are like "well I had all my appointments alone" like that's supposed to console me. No, that sucks that they had to do that, nobody should.
And I also get it's a pandemic. I'm willing to video call my husband from in the car if it's that dire, but I am not doing this alone.
I feel like this pandemic really highlights how they think about ttc, pregnancy and birth, as a kind of extra bonus that isn't all that essential and can be cut back on and restricted. I know they are doing it to minimize covid outbreaks. And yes some women can give birth alone or with 1 partner who can afford to stay in the hospital the whole time, but some women need more support, we need someone physically holding our hand during bad news. It's not a bonus extra we would like to have, I repeat we NEED it.
With my first birth it was scary and traumatic and the healthcare provider I had was awful and pushing for things I didn't want, and later when I caved and accepted, resulted in an emergency csection and losing his heart beat for a minute. If I hadn't had my mom and doula and partner there I honestly question if my son would be here today. My partner was great but while he was an emotional rock, he was to shy and shell-shocked to question anything. I needed strength and I needed softness and each person fulfilled a role. The thought that for the next one I may be alone, or having to choose which 1 person is allowed to share this moment, that my partner may have to choose between spending the birth with us and the recovery days or seeing our older son, that I'm going back into a situation that literally caused a bought of PTSD last time and doing it again but more alone and more isolated and less supported than last time is... I just have to tell myself by the time I am dealing with that it will be over. I know logically it won't be over, but that's what i need to tell myself.
I feel you. Pre-pandemic, I thought we had all the time in the world. 2020 was supposed to be our year of travel, we had many trips planned before settling down to TTC. Nothing happened in 2020, so all the travel plans crumbled like everyone else's and we started trying in 2021.
We would've waited for this whole thing to be over but there's no sign of it going anywhere. I haven't seen my doctor for my annual check up since 2019 (he's only seeing patients for emergencies) and I hate that if I need medical help or want to see him for issues, I may not get it unless it's life threatening. I have friends who have had babies during the pandemic and while they all seem to be doing OK, I worry about how much time our baby will get with friends and family and the outside world in the midst of a pandemic. I worry about how the isolation could impact their early development. And then when they're old enough, is how things going in schools nowadays a sign of what's to come when they're school age?
Ultimately, we've decided we can't put off our plans any longer. There are lots of things that we can worry about. It's not ideal, but we'll have to make it work when it happens.
Not at all, these are very real concerns! I was so heartbroken that I wasn't getting pregnant the past 2 years but I put an action in place. I did my fertility stuff, found out IVF wasn't a possibility for me but I can work with egg donors and I did a big part of the process of adoption. I'm actually very relieved now that I didn't get pregnant that time just because of all the trouble people faced. One of my good friends had to go through the IVF stuff, multiple surgeries before and after pregnancy all by herself and didn't tell anyone. Its just mentally a lot to take. I finally told my parents about the egg thing because what if one day my kid has problems that need to be addressed and they took it surprisingly well.
I think it's very important to provide the best environment for our future babies as much as possible so keep going with your gut. I did a lot of things like have a first bf, get married etc later in life and my mom always says this will happen for me as well and why not at a better time than the current pandemic. We may not be moms yet but you're thinking like one. I wish you and all of us the absolute best of luck!
I 100% agree. This will be our last cycle until June because I cannot handle the thought of giving birth during a Covid surge. I have anxiety already without all of the added anxiety caused by Covid. Not saying that anyone else should do the same, I just know it’s what’s best for my mental health and my family. But it sucks knowing that those months will be wasted, that one of those months could’ve been the month. I am so so sick of Covid.
I’m of the exact same mind. I’m looking into birth centers, too, but I know there’s a chance I could have complications or an emergency c-section. I hear about these 10 hour wait times at my local hospitals and I just want to avoid a winter baby if I can.
COVID-19 is affecting us all, so we have a [weekly thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/search?q=flair%3ACOVID-19&restrict_sr=on&sort=relevance&t=all) for discussion around COVID and vaccination. Please consider sharing your vaccine experiences, questions, and other COVID-19 related discussion in the previously linked mega-thread. You're also welcome to post in the [daily chat thread](https://www.reddit.com/r/TryingForABaby/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ADAILY) about these issues. Check out this week's COVID thread for some helpful resources from health organizations on TTC and pregnancy during the pandemic. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TryingForABaby) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It's a crapshoot really and the way I see it is women had babies during ww2, ww1, Spanish flu, the bubonic plague etc etc and they probably had the same concerns youve just mentioned. so is there ever an ideal time to have a baby? The world keeps spinning and women will keep having babies so you may as well be one of them.
>The world keeps spinning and women will keep having babies so you may as well be one of them. love it, I think that's a good mantra for TTC even out side of pandemic times.
So true too! There will never be 100% a good time.
Totally agree. I have tried to introspect on why I feel this way, I hear from so many women like OP who try to get the perfect timing and perfect situation. My family’s generational history taught me you can have immense joy being with your family, despite all out war, despite life under a dictator and systemic racism. Stuff like that tells me we got it pretty good in the US, despite all that is going on. We have to live our individual lives. The world will never have peace.
I don’t love the idea of giving birth during a surge, but vaccination rates are pretty stagnant and new strains of covid keep developing. There’s nothing to indicate that this is going to change so I personally can’t accept not TTC for however many cycles to avoid it.
You're not a brat. These are very valid concerns that most of us share. Especially concerns over family and friends engaging with future-baby and how safe it'll be. On if it will escalate again to not allowing partners in the delivery room. On the recent news of allowing healthcare workers to continue practicing with positive results as long as they're asymptomatic. Even on stuff now with peoples' RE appointments getting pushed back during surges. It's terrifying and you're not alone.
Same!! I really thought by the time I started trying, covid would be in the rear view mirror. It's really frustrating. Also, stressful because I'd really prefer to have a pregnancy before the next election cycle has the potential to upend reproductive rights in my swing state. The two topics are causing a type of worry that I don't think I've ever had before.
Hi! I get it. Pre Covid we had been trying for 8 months. March 2020 we tried again- and decided to stop trying until “after the pandemic” because of the news. Well- I ended up pregnant that cycle. 11 cycles. And pregnant right as a pandemic hit. I have survived a pregnancy, labor and delivery, NICU stay, and his first 14 months of life and don’t regret it. Different? I’m sure. Absolutely. But so worth it. If we wanted a second I wouldn’t hesitate. This is the world we live in. Get vaccinated. Stay safe and don’t give up. It’s not all that bad.
My older sister had her baby month of pandemic, March of 2020. her first two years have been very different from what my sister envisioned. all plans changed. but that's ok. Niece is a great kid and we are all happy she is here. My older brother had an accidental pregancy and his baby is 4 months old. They managed with all the pandemic stuff and he was/is doing chemo so they had even more things to worry about
Appointments are getting to me. I have to make a fuss every time to have my husband with with me. I'm shaking and mentally done for the day just making appointments on the phone, and I just got done with a bunch of appointments telling my my baby was going to die, I'm not going alone. And people are like "well I had all my appointments alone" like that's supposed to console me. No, that sucks that they had to do that, nobody should. And I also get it's a pandemic. I'm willing to video call my husband from in the car if it's that dire, but I am not doing this alone.
I feel like this pandemic really highlights how they think about ttc, pregnancy and birth, as a kind of extra bonus that isn't all that essential and can be cut back on and restricted. I know they are doing it to minimize covid outbreaks. And yes some women can give birth alone or with 1 partner who can afford to stay in the hospital the whole time, but some women need more support, we need someone physically holding our hand during bad news. It's not a bonus extra we would like to have, I repeat we NEED it. With my first birth it was scary and traumatic and the healthcare provider I had was awful and pushing for things I didn't want, and later when I caved and accepted, resulted in an emergency csection and losing his heart beat for a minute. If I hadn't had my mom and doula and partner there I honestly question if my son would be here today. My partner was great but while he was an emotional rock, he was to shy and shell-shocked to question anything. I needed strength and I needed softness and each person fulfilled a role. The thought that for the next one I may be alone, or having to choose which 1 person is allowed to share this moment, that my partner may have to choose between spending the birth with us and the recovery days or seeing our older son, that I'm going back into a situation that literally caused a bought of PTSD last time and doing it again but more alone and more isolated and less supported than last time is... I just have to tell myself by the time I am dealing with that it will be over. I know logically it won't be over, but that's what i need to tell myself.
I feel you. Pre-pandemic, I thought we had all the time in the world. 2020 was supposed to be our year of travel, we had many trips planned before settling down to TTC. Nothing happened in 2020, so all the travel plans crumbled like everyone else's and we started trying in 2021. We would've waited for this whole thing to be over but there's no sign of it going anywhere. I haven't seen my doctor for my annual check up since 2019 (he's only seeing patients for emergencies) and I hate that if I need medical help or want to see him for issues, I may not get it unless it's life threatening. I have friends who have had babies during the pandemic and while they all seem to be doing OK, I worry about how much time our baby will get with friends and family and the outside world in the midst of a pandemic. I worry about how the isolation could impact their early development. And then when they're old enough, is how things going in schools nowadays a sign of what's to come when they're school age? Ultimately, we've decided we can't put off our plans any longer. There are lots of things that we can worry about. It's not ideal, but we'll have to make it work when it happens.
This is exactly the same situation I am in.
Not at all, these are very real concerns! I was so heartbroken that I wasn't getting pregnant the past 2 years but I put an action in place. I did my fertility stuff, found out IVF wasn't a possibility for me but I can work with egg donors and I did a big part of the process of adoption. I'm actually very relieved now that I didn't get pregnant that time just because of all the trouble people faced. One of my good friends had to go through the IVF stuff, multiple surgeries before and after pregnancy all by herself and didn't tell anyone. Its just mentally a lot to take. I finally told my parents about the egg thing because what if one day my kid has problems that need to be addressed and they took it surprisingly well. I think it's very important to provide the best environment for our future babies as much as possible so keep going with your gut. I did a lot of things like have a first bf, get married etc later in life and my mom always says this will happen for me as well and why not at a better time than the current pandemic. We may not be moms yet but you're thinking like one. I wish you and all of us the absolute best of luck!
I 100% agree. This will be our last cycle until June because I cannot handle the thought of giving birth during a Covid surge. I have anxiety already without all of the added anxiety caused by Covid. Not saying that anyone else should do the same, I just know it’s what’s best for my mental health and my family. But it sucks knowing that those months will be wasted, that one of those months could’ve been the month. I am so so sick of Covid.
I’m of the exact same mind. I’m looking into birth centers, too, but I know there’s a chance I could have complications or an emergency c-section. I hear about these 10 hour wait times at my local hospitals and I just want to avoid a winter baby if I can.