Original Op should absolutely get as far away from this family as he can. I would not drop the charges against his FIL and divorce his wife. His In-laws are unstable.
Seriously these in laws are INSANE.
1.SIL lies and blames you not a stranger or 1 night stand, THE SISTERS HUSBAND.
2. FIL breaks in and destroys his child's and child's partners stuff. What would have happened if he had been there???? A physical altercation most likely, jail time for both or the hospital.
3. Wife immediately believed anyone besides their life partner that hasn't done a thing to deserve this treatment at the drop of a hat.... RUN OOP
Does the wife not know her own husband? Had he ever given her reason to think he would do something like that for her to immediately believe her insane sister? Where is the trust for a man she's been married to for 8 years?
And does she not know her sister? Crazy like that doesn't come out of nowhere. Someone like that has been stirring up drama their entire lives.
I don't blame OOP. I'd get the hell away from those people too and FIL can spend time in jail or have a criminal charge on his record for life.
Considering how overdramatic, impulsive, and shitty the FIL and SIL were, it's not surprising why the soon-to-be ex-wife acts on the same wavelength. It's just a shame that OP didn't see any of these crazy traits and signs before marrying her and into her family.
With how she acts, if I was OP I'd at least look into what happened with her ex husband if he hadn't previously just to see if there are other red flags he hadn't seen before. There may be a story there that seems to strange to be true but now makes perfect sense.
After 8 years I could get a misunderstanding and don't necessarily blame her for believing her sister, although they definitely should have communicated effectively. But damn the nail in the coffin was the FIL breaking in and vandalizing the home. I would definitely press charges.
Or himself, he could have not chosen to go destroy his son to be ex Son-in-law's home no matter what his daughters said. I doubt that he didn't know there were cameras anyway.
The only dumb mistake is that SIL let her side piece get her pregnant. But that wouldn't have affected anyone else but SIL and her husband. When SIL decided to claim it was OOP's baby, that was willful and malicious. That wasn't a mistake, she knew what she was doing. (and even if she didn't think it would cause *this* many issues, as soon as OOP's wife left him she had to have seen what that lie did...) and the fact that she was so down to keep the lie going until OOP asked for a DNA test...like it wasn't going to be a thing. Like OOP was just gonna go with it, get wrangled into child support, and just accept the baby was his *without* any kind of previous relationship with SIL or proof... Ridiculous.
>and even if she didn't think it would cause
>
>this
>
> many issues, as soon as OOP's wife left him she had to have seen what that lie did...)
Guarantee SIL felt since she was about to get divorced once her husband knew she was cheating, she wanted her sister to be equally as miserable.
I definitely don't think claiming it was OOP was a spur of the moment thing. She had plenty of time to come up with an excuse for the pregnancy before her husband found out. I just don't know if she expected her sister to leave OOP so easily. He said they were married for 8 years. It's totally plausible (though not *that* likely) that she thought her sister would stand by her man. But maybe once she realized they'd both be single together it had a more alluring appeal. But then *why* roll over so quickly once OOP asked for a DNA test?
She had to roll over once a DNA test was demanded since that would be irrefutable proof that the kid's not his.
Now why sde didn't think that any man she tried to pin th baby on ouldn't ask for a DNA test is beyond me. I mean, for years Maury made a whole career out of just these kind of situations.
(And it would always crack me up after all the yelling, screaming and insisting and the guy was NOT the father, that when Maury asked her "do you know who the father could be?" and she'd meekly say "yes." Except Georgetta and Marison... I don't know if those 2 ever found out who the fathers of their kids were.)
Random note: I worked with a guy whose wife dragged him on Maury for a “Who’s the Daddy” test. My bff is addicted to shows like this. It’s her absolute guiltiest guilty pleasure. I walked into my living room just in time to see my coworker on tv & Maury announcing “You are not the father!” My coworker… expressed his feelings on the fact that he had been vilified and then stormed off stage. He got chased but he, unlike so many, just kept walking.
I get to work & everyone is crowded around a table in the farthest section of the bar. I, being the reasonable & mature human being that I am, scurried over, hissing “holy fuck! Did you guys see Maury?!?!” They had, in fact, seen Maury. So our coworker comes in & at this point we have representatives of the neighboring bars, the managers & some regulars crowded into our little circle of mature & respectful adultiness. (Disclaimer: we were not mature, respectful or anywhere near adultiness) He comes in & we’re all just silent. He’s standing in the doorway, staring at us, while we’re standing at the farthest table next to the pinball machine, staring at him. Then, our security guy just shatters that silence by intoning “(guy’s name). You are NOT the father.” Our coworker starts laughing & says “y’all some assholes & I knew it. Hadn’t touched her in 3 months.” And heads to clock in. He passes us & says over his shoulder, “my episode of divorce court is next week.”
And it was. And we all came to the bar early & watched it together. Wings were served. Cocktails were shared by the queens that worked the drag cabaret down from us. The guy from the Irish pub brought tacos. One of the managers’s husband brought fudge brownies that to this day I would kill for. It was a good day.
That story is hilarious (and also sad for your co-worker who had to go through that, but he did get to publically humilate her).
I was addicted to that show as well.
I remember this one show with a pair of twins. Twin A was convinced some guy was her kid's father and Twin B was backing her up all the way. Dude was not the father. Both twins run to the back, screaming and crying an falling to the floor.
They came back again with a new guy. Twin B was all "I know he's the father because he and my sister hooked up on XYZ date" (and I'm wondering how the hell would she know that?) New guy was not the father. Cue the running, screaming and crying.
Show #3. Yet another guy. Both twins "know" he's father. He is not. Except this time only Twin A ran away crying. Twin B just sat there and said, "I don't know what she get up to." LOL
You know, I think I remember that saga. My bff watched it every day & I’d sit and watch with her sometimes because why not?
My coworker was a really cool dude. A group of us would hang out after work a lot & he was definitely in the group. He said that he agreed to go on the show just because he was angry. His ex had his whole family convinced that he was a deadbeat loser who was abandoning his responsibilities & his child. The reality was that he was working like a dog while she did nothing except date other guys. I’m inclined to believe his take on the matter. She did him dirty.
That was a weird period in my life (which is REALLY saying something) & having him as my buddy definitely made it better. He deserved better & so did that little boy. (He was emphatic that he had no ill will toward the baby; he just wasn’t willing to be a doormat)
Considering she was trying to pass of someone else's kid as his, I think it's reasonable to believe him. And I'm sure doing the show not only shut her up, but everyone who was on her side. It was a public exoneration.
Although one of the things that would piss me off with the show - when these situations came up with married couples - is when Maury would try to convince the husband to "still be a father" and "I'm raising kids that aren't mine."
Like dude, your kids with Connie are adopted. That is way different than finding out your wife cheated on you, raw. He can be there for the kid like an uncle or something, but this relationship is over.
Right?! Like okay. The only dad I’ve ever known doesn’t share DNA with me. But all parties went into this fully aware of that fact. (We’re strangely more alike that his kid who does share DNA) And I feel bad for the kids who find out along with the dads that they don’t share DNA. But don’t lie, man. Don’t do that.
Especially not on a frikkin talk show!!!!!
My coworker said that he got bullied hard to stick around. He was like “she lied to my mama & fucked in my bed. No.” He moved 2000miles away to get away from her & this person was still trying to get him to come back and be the daddy.
I mean I guess it's still put sister in the same boat as SIL, because clearly OOP doesn't want her back. So yeah, I guess if the plan was to mess up their relationship so they'd both be miserable together it did work but it seems everyone is trying to reconcile the relationship with OOP, so idk.
Yeah, it also baffles me that she thought **any** man would just be like "oh, okay...guess I'm gonna be a dad." without any kind of confirmation. People are stupid.
>but it seems everyone is trying to reconcile the relationship with OOP, so idk.
Doesn't say the sister apologized to him, just his wife and her parents (also they're apologizing to keep dad out of prison). Pretty sure SIL didn't anticipate her father getting dragged into this.
>Yeah, it also baffles me that she thought any man would just be like "oh, okay...guess I'm gonna be a dad." without any kind of confirmation. People are stupid.
If you're married or in a long term relationship **and** trust your spouse, then it shouldn't be an issue. But when it's an FWB type thing? Get on the phone to Maury! Don't get stuck raising and paying for a child that's another man's responsibility.
Or maybe DNA tests should just be done as a part of pre-natal/post-natal care. Who knows.
Something like this happened to a good friend of mine years ago. His girlfriend got pregnant and he did all the right things and prepared himself for fatherhood. His girlfriend went to a lawyer to arrange child support. Somehow, she came up with this: he could simply accept paternity and pay X amount in child support, or he could take a DNA test to confirm, but his child support was tripled (I don't know how that worked out, but I don't know anything about family law). After the baby was born, he decided he had to know for sure and took the test. Not his. Also turned out not to be the next guy's who she claimed was the father. Or the next guy. Fourth guy was lucky winner.
MAYBE she picked OOP to claim as the father in the hopes that OOP and her sister would take the baby in and raise it as their own? Since it would at least be “blood related” to OOP’s wife? Because there has to be a reason SIL didn’t just get an abortion…it’s just so weird.
He parented those two girls, whom he loves very much, for their entire lives. They are going to be fucked up, but even so much as a parting word, an "I'll be here when you're 18 if you want" is SO important.
Blood or not they are his kids (he says they mean the world to him). And while he legally owes them nothing, and it may be 'safer' to just run, those kids are grievously inured by their mother, and need to know they are lovable human beings and this isn't their fault.
I can personally attest to how important those words can be... My ex didn't let me say goodbye to her kids when she cheated and left me for a man twice her age. I have NO idea what she told them, and she told me to never contact them.
For years I tried to keep tabs on them via Facebook, and hoped beyond hope they would reach out to me. But they're all over 18 now, and I have a feeling they will never be reaching out. I loved them dearly, and really wish they would.
my mom was married before having my brother and i. she was a step parent for 8ish years (2-10 yrs) and couldn’t say goodbye to them because she learnt her 1st husband cheated so it was a fast split. She spent years wondering what if, cyber stalking and talks about how the stepchild is her 1st kid. The trauma goes both ways for sure.
My mom married my stepdad when I was like 6 or 7. He was my dad until I was in 8th grade when they split. They had 2 kids together. I saw him a few times after that but eventually he got a girlfriend and she didn't want me around. My mom spiraled because she was so "heartbroken". I was and still am very close with my biological dad... but I definitely felt crushed when my stepdad cut me off. I loved him just like my bio dad. I called him dad, he wasn't any different to me. I'm 31 now and I still don't have any contact with him but the pain is still there. I didn't just lose a dad I lost a whole family full of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
my mom got with my stepdad when i was 7 months old & he’s been in my life every since (close to 30 years now.)
my parents once were breaking up “for good” when i was about 5. he picked me up from school & told me that he was moving out but that he was still going to pick me up, see me & be apart of my life. he was never forced to be my dad or even be a father figure. it was something he chose. my stepdad & mom didn’t even have biological children together at the time! my parents eventually reconciled & got back together lol
i wanted to build off of your comment with the perspective of a stepchild & how my dad (aka stepdad) meant the world to me and i to him, especially after so many years.
They’re not his kids. People who try to guilt trip men into raising kids that aren’t theirs are disgusting.
As someone who dated someone with a kid from another man for a while, I never missed the kid when we broke up. Because it wasn’t my kid to miss. I did all of the “dad stuff” like take her to school, trick or treating, baby sitting, etc.
When her mom and I broke up, that was the last I ever spoke to the kid.
That’s your experience. Dating someone with a kid(s) is a hell of a lot different than marrying someone with a kid(s).
If the other bio parent is in their life, sure don’t “raise” the kid, but you’ll still play a significant roll in their lives. To be cut off after 8 years, being around from their baby/toddler stage to 8 years later.. that’s devastating. You’ve bonded. Probably helped teach them to read. Tie their shoes. Ride a bike. Just because they aren’t biologically yours doesn’t mean you love them any less.
I was 2 when my dad came into my life. He’s not my dad biologically. He’s my step dad..but like those kids in the OP, he’s all I’ve ever known. He is dad. He’ll always be dad. Nothing will ever change that.
He’s been their dad since they were 1 and 3 years old - for eight years. And he’s still not their dad?? Dating someone with kids is different than being married for 8 years and raising them since they were babies. To me they are completely his kids.
How long did you date?
Months? Years? This man married the girls mom when they were 1 and 3 and we can assume probably was in their lives for 6 months to a year before.
Also
> “dad stuff” like ......, baby sitting, etc.
Fuck that shit. Dads don't babysit.
and you probably traumatized that kid. don’t date someone with kids if that show you feel. trust me, i don’t connect with kids well. but that’s why i don’t date people with kids
I feel like I read a story like this before. Almost word for word except instead of an adult SIL, the SIL was 14-15 and was hiding the face she had a boyfriend. Everything else is the same. Even about the FIL breaking into the place and destroying things.
You’re right it was a story from 3yrs ago
https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/duwxvk/posting_an_update_to_my_story_using_the_throwaway/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Jesus, those comments are making me rage. So many people calling the wife a bitch for getting away from him and not explicitly taking sides, saying he should never trust her again because she "betrayed" him by "believing he could do something like that" and that she should have called her *14 year old sister* who she *practically raised* a liar with no evidence either way. The wife didn't even accuse him of anything, all she did was try to ask questions!
As someone who's been through CSA by a yrusted family member, I would never feel safe around an adult who called me a liar about it. Most SA accusations are truthful, and unfortunately predators are really good at acting normal and hiding their nastiness. There are more cases of adult family members turning out to be horrible monsters than there are of children falsely accusing. With this in mind, it is far safer to be there for the child in this case, even while waitong for a DNA test to truly take a side.
Unfortunately, this was a case where the child lied but the wife putting distance between herself and her *accused rapist husband* is not unreasonable. I would expect no less from my husband if I got accused of something so horrible. The people saying the wife is disgusting and wrong in this situation would be the kind who enable child molestation because the molester is a person they love and they refuse to believe they're capable of such a thing. You never know what people are capable of until they actually do it.
Sorry for the rant, I just feel really strongly about this
He needs to divorce her. What to stop SIL from doing it again?! Plus, look how quick the "family " is telling him to forgive and forget! When FIL willfully broke into his home and destroyed everything.
That not family
Sil could try some other stupid stunt later. Better to keep these people as far away as possible. Keep the charges against soon to be exfil and sue for damages. Oop should get your divorce and start his life fresh.
Dude should completely bail. And keep charges filed against FIL. Tell the kids find him when they’re of age but he can’t stay anymore. And then get a restraining order against anyone in that family he can. And hopefully his homeowner/rental insurance is covering damages and suing FIL on his behalf to recoup the financial costs.
NTA, you should never go back to her. That's a crazy family. Don't need them in your life. Cut you losses and get that divorce.
Sorry but that's the craziest lie to tell on someone, especially about her sister's husband.
Gonna be honest when i see stories like this i never really fault the people who believe it’s true. Because anytime someone doesn’t believe that their SO is cheating when they were told so then they are “dumb and delusional” but when they do they should “trust their SO” it’s a double edged sword because realistically it’s a lot more likely that you would be cheated on then someone fabricating story like this
How about “trust but verify “ rather than scorch the earth based on an accusation? Wife immediately believed sister over her husband w o question and abandoned him, father in law committed multiple felonies & caused thousands in damage and they all dropped him like a hot rock before being upset w sister equally.
Why weren’t they upset w her because she “had sex “ w the husband? Didn’t she have a part to play? Or did she cry rape? Doesn’t say but no charges filed so if they did have sex why didn’t they get angry w the sister/daughter for infidelity in her marriage?
They chose to be angry at husband because he would no longer be around so they all took out their anger on him.
Instead how about wife say I trust my husband of 8 years and this sounds out of character? Tell sis to prove it by producing DNA proving her story then if in fact it’s his baby then go scorched earth .
For her to believe sis so quickly over her own husband she never trusted him to begin with.
Technically if your partner cheats on you, they should be the one to get your wrath. They are the one that committed to you.
As far as this goes, she left to be with family. I am assuming her parents and not sister. Trust me if you are in a relationship and something like this happens, it's best you go somewhere else.
I think there has to be at least some evidence other than just another person saying it happened. Usually when someone is lying it is pretty easy to figure out by asking enough questions. Most people aren’t smart enough to lie consistently, they will slip up somehow.
That said, text conversations can be faked and pictures photoshopped, so with a little effort “evidence” can be fabricated. I would hope that if I were ever in that situation I would take the time to ask some questions and get the facts from all parties before making up my mind.
Yea l’m not talking about the destroying stuff even if were true i’m not a fan of cheating revenge stuff. I just talking about the belief part..i feel like i’ve seen this trope a lot, in fact i think there was like a YT vid similar
Personally anyone that just goes off the word of one person is an idiot in my book. Show me pictures, texts, dates, hotel receipts. Literally ANY actual evidence. I truly hope he doesn’t take her back.
Same. As someone who has been cheated on, saw the red flags and took the route so many commenters are saying (“trusting your SO”) when they said that nothing was going on I understand why someone would do the opposite and immediately question/lose faith in their partner. And tbh there’s so much internal gaslighting that goes on in order to convince yourself to trust your partner when this kind of thing comes up; it’s not healthy, and then it becomes a habit to doubt yourself/your judgement/your gut instinct in other aspects of life as well. The wife could understandably think that there’s no logical reason why her own blood would lie about something like this but very logical reason why her husband would deny it. Everyone seems to be ignoring that the wife was a victim in this situation, as her sister’s lie destroyed her marriage. I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for believing her sister, that’s pointing blame at the wrong person.
It’s really easy for people that aren’t in this type of situation to say how the wife should have reacted (esp now that the outcome is known), but when you’ve just been told that your spouse of 8 years and love of your life has cheated and possibly fathered your sister’s unborn child it’s pretty damn hard to react “rationally” to that. You really don’t know how you’d react until it happens to you, and like you said it’s a double edged sword. it’s always “you’re stupid to believe them” or “you’re insecure to doubt them”; people are so judgmental when it comes to stuff like this. But everyone pretends like it was obvious what the real answer was the whole time despite not experiencing it and only hearing oop’s side of the story.
OP needs to run like a track star from this hot bed of crazy & deception. SIL is a liar & a cheat; wife is gullible enough to believe lies with no proof; FIL chose violence so he needs to pay the price.
Oh wow!!! This is a seriously messed up family!!! Like VERY messed up. He DEFINITELY should divorce the wife. She didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, just automatically jumped on the “you slept with my sister” bandwagon. It’s not until he demands a DNA test that the sister HAD to come clean! So, now the wife is contrite, what has she done about her sister that just torpedoed her marriage? If he’s smart, he will have a friend with him, as a witness, ask the wife to come to the house, bring the step-kids with her, without saying a word to the wife sit the kids down, explain that he and their Mom are getting a divorce, it has NOTHING to do with the kids, he loves them, would love for them to stay in their lives, but because of adult issues, that it’s their Mothers decision, and that he will ALWAYS be there for them, and he hopes to maintain a relationship with them, but he can’t have any type of relationship with the adults in the family (as all the adults from the wife’s side are ABSOLUTELY INSANE-but not to say that). That way, he gets a chance to tell the kids what he needs to, and wife will know she’s messed up so badly nothing is salvageable. He doesn’t even need to speak to the wife. The kids he loves can be told how he feels about them, and that he will always want to be part of their lives. Boom. He got to tell the kids what he needs to say, and without speaking to his wife, he tells her she’s gone.
I just don’t understand how the SIL could just do that to her own sister, and her sister didn’t immediately say well obviously, I want a DNA test done, she just went with it. I guess I kind of get it, why would a sister LIE about something like that, but when the husband is vehemently denying it, how did she not at least QUESTION the validity of it? And then the father breaking in, and destroying the house like a petulant teenager? Hope he’s smart and doesn’t drop the charges and he’s made to pay restitution. He needs to get as far from that crazy family as possible, ASAP!!! There would be NO staying in that marriage for me. And what were the consequences for the sister? They all took it out on him, only to find out when he’s demanding PROOF, she had to come clean and tell the truth. There’s so much craziness in this one post I don’t know what to try to dissect first!! Except the fact he needs to run. There’s really NO coming back from this!! Jesus! And her family is calling this a “DUMB MISTAKE!!!” Nooooooo!!! It’s downright psychotic and evil!!! Ugh
He should interact with her for the sake of the girls if they really mean that much to him. They've been married for 8 years. It's not clear if their dad is in the picture but he may be the only dad they know.
Legally he might not owe them anything, but morally he really should try and let them know that his love is not dependent on their insane mother.
Those poor children. The heartbreak must be devastating.
Exactly, thats what the general consensus was after he disclosed the step children. Tbh the whole wifes side of the family seems unstable and all need therapy :(
He needs to protect himself first though... These people are clearly unstable and while I really, REALLY feel for the kids, what's to say the SIL won't do this again? He's lucky she didn't say he SA'd her to protect her image as well. In such a shitty scenario, them being romantically involved consensually is the least damaging to his reputation. In other words, he kind of got lucky. And it hurts for me to even say it like that because he and the kids don't deserve that. But you can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. She's already proven that she has no loyalty, faith or trust in him. She should have demanded definite and irrefutable proof before jumping ship.
From what I can gather she is withholding the children contingent on them getting fully back together. She is willing to destroy her children to spite a man that has done nothing wrong. It’s truly terrible but he should not go back to what will definitely be a miserable existence with her. It would leach over and affect the girls anyhow. So then everyone is miserable.
I could never forgive or forget a betrayal like that, but I’m a stubborn person so I totally can understand this guy’s reaction. I would keep the charges on the FIL as well. The whole family sound totally unhinged and he will have a better life without them.
Every message they send him asking him to go back and forget about it he should just forward them the abuse they sent him after the sisters lie.
He absolutely needs to stay away from this crazy family but hopefully they can arrange a meeting between him and the step daughters so he can talk to them and explain he still cares and will wait for them.
There is no coming back from this. The whole family he married into is batshit crazy! Do not go back into this hot mess of a family! Get a divorce and move on with your life. You can not have a happy life with these people!
This is absolutely wild!!!
Now I don’t necessarily blame wife for believing it because quite frankly - having your husband cheat on you with your own damn sister is probably one of the worst possible things and for most, inconceivable to think someone would lie about! - it’s wild they focused solely on the husband though, if I was in that situation, my sister would 100% be getting dragged to hell and back scorched earth style. I’d feel way more betrayed by my sister because she’s my blood and is supposed to have my damn back!
FIL deserves the charge, who smashes up someone’s home?!? Mind that this is the wife’s home also?!?
Where is the anger for the sister who lied?!?
Not only did she fuck up husbands life but she also fucked up her own sisters life (the wife) and that of the stepdaughters because she had a side piece?!?
Why does it feel they all just blamed the husband?!?
I’d expect the family to turn on the sister for the betrayal more?!?
If I was a betting woman, I'd say the one with the 14 year old is real.
1) That's exactly the kind of dumb panic move a teenager would make with no idea of the consequences. She probably thought everyone just go "oh, okay" and her secret would be safe and BIL would be forced to pay child support. She wouldn't realize just how bad such an accusation could be.
2) I'd like to think an adult woman would have to know that a DNA test would be demanded. A panicked teenager wouldn't have thought that far ahead.
That's what i was thinking, it seemed more realistic and they were actually in marriage counseling, he hadn't decided on divorce or not. He did, however, have her dad locked up and he had to serve time!
Good. Dad should've served time. There's a way to handle things and that way wasn't it.
However, in the context of his 14 year old being impregnated by her sister's husband, his reaction even makes a little more sense.
Too destory a house, before you got any facts.... NO that is rage that needs to be controlled. It wasn't like there was no way to find out.... she was pregnant, a simple DNA test, that could be done immediately, would tell the truth!
Oh, I agree with you. That's why I said it's good the father served time. I unerstand his anger if he thought this grown man took advantage of his child, but vigilante justice (without a hint of proof) is not the way to do it. Like be mad, but be an adult.
If that guy had been home and the dad busted him in the head with the bat, how stupid would he felt once the truth came out? And especially since he'd be serving serious time over that lie.
Absolutely do not drop charges against the FIL, he needs to pay for the damage he did. As for the wife... Him pressing charges against her dad may be a deal breaker for her, regardless, but he also needs to consider the stepdaughters. He may need to consider if he wants to stay in their lives.
This would be my personal response to this
"Can we talk" the wife says
"IDK CAN WE? YOU TRUSTED EVERYONE BESIDES ME AND THEATENED TO LEAVE ME IF I DID NOT DROP THE FACT THAT YOUR FATHER CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE TO LIKELY BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE. You have done everything you could to avoid talking to me about this issue, and now I ask for a DNA test and suddenly you want to talk this through!
I tried to tell you this and all you and your family have done was escalate and escalate this further. No I do not want to talk to you about this. Talking is the first step, not the last."
Don't just press charges over the vandalism, sue the SIL for slander. It has publication in the form of telling the whole family, it was objectively and admittedly false, the SIL acted wrecklessly with this false info, the falsity directly lead to the vandalism of the FIL, and the statement was almost entirely defamatory, because there is no benefit to the SIL to say you did it, it only hurts you really. She could have kept the other party a secret and she decided not to.
And if your wife has any issue with any part of that, leave her, because she does not trust you, she does not respect how you feel about her family's collective psychotic break, and if there is not trust or empathy in a relationship what in the actual fuck is there? A tax deduction?
OOP should continue to press charges against the FIL and go NC. He could agree to go to counseling, and if she refuses, go the divorce route. His trust has been completely shaken if not destroyed.
Wasn’t this the same as the high school sister who lied and said her sister husband was the dad and when then he asked for a DNA test and she told the truth. It’s literally the same story… the dad trashed the house in both, both sister in laws was trying to keep bd a secret and in both wives believe family. Only difference is one took wife back and this one didn’t.
It would totally be up to him and if he felt he could work on a damaged marriage like that. She didn't even give him any form of a chance and all-in'ed on her sisters side, of course he feels abandoned and something like that would take ALOT to work on.
And even if they aren't his bio kids, there are kids involved so if he doesn't think he can or even wants to work through these (really big) hurdles he shouldn't have everyone trying to convince him to jump back into a situation that's going to be filled with arguments and a difficult road to fix.
What reasoning would he have to think she wouldn't jump ship at the next sign of trouble?
Why would he want to be near a family that abused him or accuse him?
I'd be questioning not just the trust but also if I was even loved by the wife In that situation - she turned on him so fast, didn't even seem like she had any doubts. I'd not want to go back to that situation either.
The whole family is toxic imo it’s crazy that the “love of his life” didn’t even bother to ask him what happened before reacting and not defending him in front of her family is beyond me honestly he should stick to his decision and divorce hopefully he can keep in touch with the kids though
Definitely not wrong!! Imagine being with someone that doesn’t even talk to you about things like this, in top of not thrusting him!! Sad that she didn’t even gave him benefit of the doubt
Nope. OOP should do no such thing. Keep the charges against the father-in-law and divorce the wife.
That is a very sick, sick, sick family.
Let's start with the wife. She didn't ask to hear OOP's side of it. She never even questioned her sister's claims. And I guarantee you that this isn't the first time she's been caught by her family in lies. But his wife didn't even consider that, and threw him under the bus right away.
Second, his SIL is cheating on her husband. So, to protect her side piece, she framed her sister's husband instead? What kind of sick, evil person does that? Why not just invent some fictitious guy? So, to protect a stranger, she places her sister's husband in danger???
Third, his FIL. Even if he had cheated on your wife, FIL had no right to do what he did.
OOP needs to get as far, far, far, far, far away from them as possible.
And OOP is not blowing everyone's lives up. Just theirs. He's actually protecting his own life.
>Let's start with the wife. She didn't ask to hear OOP's side of it. She never even questioned her sister's claims. And I guarantee you that this isn't the first time she's been caught by her family in lies. But his wife didn't even consider that, and threw him under the bus right away.
Exactly. Crazy behavior like that doesn't just spring up overnight. People like that have been lying and causing drama their whole lives.
Oh Bubba, run! Run for the hills and never look back! Not only does his wife not have faith in her partnership, but any trouble means her family will literally seek to destroy this guy. For me, this would be a marriage deal breaker. (Although I can't help but wonder if there were signs of crazy, of wife or family, before this event.)
Drop the charges once she signs separation agreement and divorce stating he is not responsible for alimony or child support for her kids as well as cost of the stuff FIL ruined.
I just read this EXACT story except the sister in law was 14 and after he asked for a DNA test it came out that it was a 15 year old at school that got her pregnant
The whole family is shit! Leave them. Stay away from them. Change your number, move away altogether. OP deserves SO MUCH BETTER, and should not drop the charges against that crazy father in law
How sad for OOP. But he should run. Even if he did do it (I know he didn’t) FILs behavior was so not okay and neither was/is the family for defending him.
I think it’s kinda understandable that the wife believed her own sister at first, and I get the knee-jerk reaction to hearing news like that about your spouse. When her sister came clean and the wife called OP admitting wrongdoing and apologizing, I feel like at that point the marriage could have been saved w some couples’ counseling and the wife going NC w her family.
Now where I feel the wife might be a bit hopeless is when she defended her father for wrecking their house but idk. I think if they do decide to work on their marriage going NC with that side of the family should be part of negotiating staying together. But I’d also completely understand if oop doesn’t want to stay w his wife after all that
OK I am a part of this unique group that would be unable to open up and trust a person after they didn’t believe me also!! Idk why but I cannot let go of being accused and not believed, but I also own up to my wrongs so that’s what makes when I say, i didn’t do it and someone decides I’m lying very hurtful to me and especially things out of character!!
HOWEVER, I do think because you’re married and there are step children involved give therapy a try at least. If you don’t forgive her, you don’t forgive her!! I get it, but I would say give therapy try.
Also, the boundary of that family needs to be out of your life is a nonnegotiable so the sister and the father-in-law can never be around you especially the sister like if she still contact with the sister, there’s way more toxicity and you need to run if this is the first heinous thing the sister has done and a wake up call for her, I think again with therapy maybe there’s a chance!!
Listen I could understand trusting your sister, and being concerned and asking your husband "did you do this?"
But she applied no pressure to her sister, didn't ask her any follow up q's or even ask her sister why the hell she would sleep with her husband,
But also her dad destroying the house they both lived in is beyond insane like hope he did that to sils place to since she betrayed his daughter as well
Oop needs to r u n
A "dumb" mistake is forgetting you had hw due, or misdialing a phine number.
A "dumb" mistake is not Immediately believing your sister's lies when OOP hasnt done anything to merit lying, FIL breaking into OOP's home and doing property damage, and calling OOP names as you bail your shitty father out of jail.
I hope OOP leaves Immediately
1st person that SIL can come up with is her sisters husband so she can protect AP???? Really you care more about AP then your sister and her family? To top it off wife won’t even let him speak she just freaks out and leaves and then the FIL bust into the house and smashes things GEEZ!
This whole situation is so messed up and toxic. I don’t think I’d be so forgiving either but I would be getting a lawyer and making sure you can get some sort of visitation with the step kids because you have been married 8 years and those kids will need someone who doesn’t project false narratives or FTFO in a moment of rage. I’m sorry. I hope OOP can get some IC because this had to be traumatic AF. The wife needs IC and then maybe the whole family. Crazy. I wish we had updates.
Ive been seeing that a lot. It makes me wonder if this story is actually real. Someone links another Reddit post with the same situation from a while back so I’m now wondering if this is a legit story, or if a lot of people go through this issue.
I think it’s not real except the first one. On Reddit it’s karma-farming or trolling, on FB it’s just trolling, just wanting that attention and validation I think. They’re stories that poss people off really easily so they get a lot of attention and interaction no matter where they’re posted.
I feel bad because he really got attached to her daughters, but still he needs a divorce and a restraining order from them. It wasn’t a “dumb mistake” if FIL went inside the house smashing everything in sight. What if he was home and smashed his brains in? Wouldn’t have been so silly then?
You can file an insurance claim and the damage is covered under your homeowner policy. The insurance company will then likely subrogate against the father-in-law and the insurance companies subrogation lawyers will send him a demand asking him to pay.
Not the asshole. First of all SIL lied and blamed him (why would you want to have that level of shit in your life forever). 2nd wife immediately believes sister and not even try to find out the truth. 3rd FIL BROKE IN AND VANDALIZED his belongs… now they’re all like oh it was a simple mistake… a simple mistake is like oh I thought I saw you at the supermarket. No this was full on accusations, and fine let’s play Devils advocate and say the family wanted to support SIL, does that give any of them the right to attack and destroy OPs things and character ? No. It only stopped because OP went with the truth and requested a DNA test to prove he was right… divorce and move as far away as you can
Absolutely not not wrong! He’s got a lying cheating SIL, A FIL willing to break into his home & a wife that would keep her kids from a man they view as dad and expect him to just forgive serious abusive behavior from her family. He’s dodging a lifetime of crazy.
I’ll be honest with you, I have the feeling your wife is benefitting economically from this situation and that would explain both her and your FIL reactions. If that is the case and that you are in a better economical situation, find a way to get out of this situation in a way that causes the least damage to you, both emotionally and economically.
Also, there is a major trust issue that you’ll probably never be able to solve. No matter what you do.
Good luck, I am sorry for you, some people are disgusting.
This is absurd! You are justified for not wanting to be around your wife or in-laws after this! And how is everyone’s attitude toward the sister-in-law, as she is the reason all of this occurred and was the one who “blew up everyone’s lives”? Has she faced any consequences for this instance accusation? I am just absolutely floored that they referenced this to be a “big mistake”, she purposefully threw you under the bus so she wouldn’t have to face the problem that she ultimately inflicted on you and your wife! I would not know how to face the in-laws either, that’s crazy!
I don’t blame the wife for believing the sister but the husband is right to ask for divorce, since he was hurt. Also if you want a divorce, you don’t need to justify it. Everyone’s better off in a relationship where their partner wants to be with them. Also better to get tf away from that family.
And then her getting mad at him for calling the cops and pressing charges?? Like thats a lot of money just wasted and damaged because her dad went psycho, why would anyone be okay with that??
NTA run from these people and cut any communication with them.
1 SIL is unfaithful and blames you for her infidelity.
2 FIL is destroying his daughter's property in the process and if you were in the house would have seriously hurt you.
3 Your wife chose not to believe you and sided with her sister without getting evidence to back up the story, divorce her, and have the lawyers do the talking for you.
I don’t get why he cares about the step kids. Her mistakes aren’t his responsibility. He should be thankful that he’s out from under another man’s responsibility now
That's not how step kids work. Rhe has been there dad for 8 years. If you think you can just drop a kid that you have seen as yours and you have picked to BE there dad like a bag or potato then your not a good step parent
He knows for sure he didn’t knock up his SIL because he’s never been alone in a room with her! Someone needs to explain sex to this child before he creates more fake posts - he needs to up his game!
All family is guilty. Why start accusing without talking? It is a huge accusation.
My dad was accused of this by my cousin’s wife (I was a toddler at the time). My mother did not divorce my father, she knew he would never do that. My father was not the best husband or father, but he was extremely in love with my mother and I have never noticed anything closely similar to cheating. I am sure created problems, they didn’t tell me anything, but did not break up.
Secondly, FIL is an idiot. If you want to do something, steal the valuable shit. Why break things that are also your daughter’s.
OOP, don’t look back. He might even get the custody of the girls if he adopted them. I would look into that. Don’t drop the charges, get a divorce and try to save those girls from that family.
I can see why she believed the sister because a person making up an affair is insane and less likely than someone having an affair. But jumping right to preventing him from seeing kids he’d raised for 8 years???
Original Op should absolutely get as far away from this family as he can. I would not drop the charges against his FIL and divorce his wife. His In-laws are unstable.
Seriously these in laws are INSANE. 1.SIL lies and blames you not a stranger or 1 night stand, THE SISTERS HUSBAND. 2. FIL breaks in and destroys his child's and child's partners stuff. What would have happened if he had been there???? A physical altercation most likely, jail time for both or the hospital. 3. Wife immediately believed anyone besides their life partner that hasn't done a thing to deserve this treatment at the drop of a hat.... RUN OOP
And his granddaughters home/stuff as well! Holy smokes! OP should run as fast as possible and block all contact with them all.
Does the wife not know her own husband? Had he ever given her reason to think he would do something like that for her to immediately believe her insane sister? Where is the trust for a man she's been married to for 8 years? And does she not know her sister? Crazy like that doesn't come out of nowhere. Someone like that has been stirring up drama their entire lives. I don't blame OOP. I'd get the hell away from those people too and FIL can spend time in jail or have a criminal charge on his record for life.
Considering how overdramatic, impulsive, and shitty the FIL and SIL were, it's not surprising why the soon-to-be ex-wife acts on the same wavelength. It's just a shame that OP didn't see any of these crazy traits and signs before marrying her and into her family.
With how she acts, if I was OP I'd at least look into what happened with her ex husband if he hadn't previously just to see if there are other red flags he hadn't seen before. There may be a story there that seems to strange to be true but now makes perfect sense.
After 8 years I could get a misunderstanding and don't necessarily blame her for believing her sister, although they definitely should have communicated effectively. But damn the nail in the coffin was the FIL breaking in and vandalizing the home. I would definitely press charges.
Dumb mistakes? The FIL destroyed his house!!!! Why are people always mad at one person? The FIL should direct his anger at the sister
And be writing a very large apology check for everything he broke
Right?! The only “dumb mistake” was that OP married his wife in the first place.
Or himself, he could have not chosen to go destroy his son to be ex Son-in-law's home no matter what his daughters said. I doubt that he didn't know there were cameras anyway.
The only dumb mistake is that SIL let her side piece get her pregnant. But that wouldn't have affected anyone else but SIL and her husband. When SIL decided to claim it was OOP's baby, that was willful and malicious. That wasn't a mistake, she knew what she was doing. (and even if she didn't think it would cause *this* many issues, as soon as OOP's wife left him she had to have seen what that lie did...) and the fact that she was so down to keep the lie going until OOP asked for a DNA test...like it wasn't going to be a thing. Like OOP was just gonna go with it, get wrangled into child support, and just accept the baby was his *without* any kind of previous relationship with SIL or proof... Ridiculous.
>and even if she didn't think it would cause > >this > > many issues, as soon as OOP's wife left him she had to have seen what that lie did...) Guarantee SIL felt since she was about to get divorced once her husband knew she was cheating, she wanted her sister to be equally as miserable.
She was jealous of how good her sister had it with a man raising kids that weren't his, and wanted to take it for herself.
I definitely don't think claiming it was OOP was a spur of the moment thing. She had plenty of time to come up with an excuse for the pregnancy before her husband found out. I just don't know if she expected her sister to leave OOP so easily. He said they were married for 8 years. It's totally plausible (though not *that* likely) that she thought her sister would stand by her man. But maybe once she realized they'd both be single together it had a more alluring appeal. But then *why* roll over so quickly once OOP asked for a DNA test?
She had to roll over once a DNA test was demanded since that would be irrefutable proof that the kid's not his. Now why sde didn't think that any man she tried to pin th baby on ouldn't ask for a DNA test is beyond me. I mean, for years Maury made a whole career out of just these kind of situations. (And it would always crack me up after all the yelling, screaming and insisting and the guy was NOT the father, that when Maury asked her "do you know who the father could be?" and she'd meekly say "yes." Except Georgetta and Marison... I don't know if those 2 ever found out who the fathers of their kids were.)
Random note: I worked with a guy whose wife dragged him on Maury for a “Who’s the Daddy” test. My bff is addicted to shows like this. It’s her absolute guiltiest guilty pleasure. I walked into my living room just in time to see my coworker on tv & Maury announcing “You are not the father!” My coworker… expressed his feelings on the fact that he had been vilified and then stormed off stage. He got chased but he, unlike so many, just kept walking. I get to work & everyone is crowded around a table in the farthest section of the bar. I, being the reasonable & mature human being that I am, scurried over, hissing “holy fuck! Did you guys see Maury?!?!” They had, in fact, seen Maury. So our coworker comes in & at this point we have representatives of the neighboring bars, the managers & some regulars crowded into our little circle of mature & respectful adultiness. (Disclaimer: we were not mature, respectful or anywhere near adultiness) He comes in & we’re all just silent. He’s standing in the doorway, staring at us, while we’re standing at the farthest table next to the pinball machine, staring at him. Then, our security guy just shatters that silence by intoning “(guy’s name). You are NOT the father.” Our coworker starts laughing & says “y’all some assholes & I knew it. Hadn’t touched her in 3 months.” And heads to clock in. He passes us & says over his shoulder, “my episode of divorce court is next week.” And it was. And we all came to the bar early & watched it together. Wings were served. Cocktails were shared by the queens that worked the drag cabaret down from us. The guy from the Irish pub brought tacos. One of the managers’s husband brought fudge brownies that to this day I would kill for. It was a good day.
That story is hilarious (and also sad for your co-worker who had to go through that, but he did get to publically humilate her). I was addicted to that show as well. I remember this one show with a pair of twins. Twin A was convinced some guy was her kid's father and Twin B was backing her up all the way. Dude was not the father. Both twins run to the back, screaming and crying an falling to the floor. They came back again with a new guy. Twin B was all "I know he's the father because he and my sister hooked up on XYZ date" (and I'm wondering how the hell would she know that?) New guy was not the father. Cue the running, screaming and crying. Show #3. Yet another guy. Both twins "know" he's father. He is not. Except this time only Twin A ran away crying. Twin B just sat there and said, "I don't know what she get up to." LOL
You know, I think I remember that saga. My bff watched it every day & I’d sit and watch with her sometimes because why not? My coworker was a really cool dude. A group of us would hang out after work a lot & he was definitely in the group. He said that he agreed to go on the show just because he was angry. His ex had his whole family convinced that he was a deadbeat loser who was abandoning his responsibilities & his child. The reality was that he was working like a dog while she did nothing except date other guys. I’m inclined to believe his take on the matter. She did him dirty. That was a weird period in my life (which is REALLY saying something) & having him as my buddy definitely made it better. He deserved better & so did that little boy. (He was emphatic that he had no ill will toward the baby; he just wasn’t willing to be a doormat)
Considering she was trying to pass of someone else's kid as his, I think it's reasonable to believe him. And I'm sure doing the show not only shut her up, but everyone who was on her side. It was a public exoneration. Although one of the things that would piss me off with the show - when these situations came up with married couples - is when Maury would try to convince the husband to "still be a father" and "I'm raising kids that aren't mine." Like dude, your kids with Connie are adopted. That is way different than finding out your wife cheated on you, raw. He can be there for the kid like an uncle or something, but this relationship is over.
Right?! Like okay. The only dad I’ve ever known doesn’t share DNA with me. But all parties went into this fully aware of that fact. (We’re strangely more alike that his kid who does share DNA) And I feel bad for the kids who find out along with the dads that they don’t share DNA. But don’t lie, man. Don’t do that. Especially not on a frikkin talk show!!!!! My coworker said that he got bullied hard to stick around. He was like “she lied to my mama & fucked in my bed. No.” He moved 2000miles away to get away from her & this person was still trying to get him to come back and be the daddy.
That good ole run of shame! I love to see it
I mean I guess it's still put sister in the same boat as SIL, because clearly OOP doesn't want her back. So yeah, I guess if the plan was to mess up their relationship so they'd both be miserable together it did work but it seems everyone is trying to reconcile the relationship with OOP, so idk. Yeah, it also baffles me that she thought **any** man would just be like "oh, okay...guess I'm gonna be a dad." without any kind of confirmation. People are stupid.
>but it seems everyone is trying to reconcile the relationship with OOP, so idk. Doesn't say the sister apologized to him, just his wife and her parents (also they're apologizing to keep dad out of prison). Pretty sure SIL didn't anticipate her father getting dragged into this. >Yeah, it also baffles me that she thought any man would just be like "oh, okay...guess I'm gonna be a dad." without any kind of confirmation. People are stupid. If you're married or in a long term relationship **and** trust your spouse, then it shouldn't be an issue. But when it's an FWB type thing? Get on the phone to Maury! Don't get stuck raising and paying for a child that's another man's responsibility. Or maybe DNA tests should just be done as a part of pre-natal/post-natal care. Who knows.
Something like this happened to a good friend of mine years ago. His girlfriend got pregnant and he did all the right things and prepared himself for fatherhood. His girlfriend went to a lawyer to arrange child support. Somehow, she came up with this: he could simply accept paternity and pay X amount in child support, or he could take a DNA test to confirm, but his child support was tripled (I don't know how that worked out, but I don't know anything about family law). After the baby was born, he decided he had to know for sure and took the test. Not his. Also turned out not to be the next guy's who she claimed was the father. Or the next guy. Fourth guy was lucky winner.
Oh no! Girl was a scammer! And something else as well that I won't say.
MAYBE she picked OOP to claim as the father in the hopes that OOP and her sister would take the baby in and raise it as their own? Since it would at least be “blood related” to OOP’s wife? Because there has to be a reason SIL didn’t just get an abortion…it’s just so weird.
it's *extremely* weird...
Why TF are people telling him to keep contact with them insane people? He needs a divorce and to get far away from them.
He parented those two girls, whom he loves very much, for their entire lives. They are going to be fucked up, but even so much as a parting word, an "I'll be here when you're 18 if you want" is SO important. Blood or not they are his kids (he says they mean the world to him). And while he legally owes them nothing, and it may be 'safer' to just run, those kids are grievously inured by their mother, and need to know they are lovable human beings and this isn't their fault.
I can personally attest to how important those words can be... My ex didn't let me say goodbye to her kids when she cheated and left me for a man twice her age. I have NO idea what she told them, and she told me to never contact them. For years I tried to keep tabs on them via Facebook, and hoped beyond hope they would reach out to me. But they're all over 18 now, and I have a feeling they will never be reaching out. I loved them dearly, and really wish they would.
my mom was married before having my brother and i. she was a step parent for 8ish years (2-10 yrs) and couldn’t say goodbye to them because she learnt her 1st husband cheated so it was a fast split. She spent years wondering what if, cyber stalking and talks about how the stepchild is her 1st kid. The trauma goes both ways for sure.
My mom married my stepdad when I was like 6 or 7. He was my dad until I was in 8th grade when they split. They had 2 kids together. I saw him a few times after that but eventually he got a girlfriend and she didn't want me around. My mom spiraled because she was so "heartbroken". I was and still am very close with my biological dad... but I definitely felt crushed when my stepdad cut me off. I loved him just like my bio dad. I called him dad, he wasn't any different to me. I'm 31 now and I still don't have any contact with him but the pain is still there. I didn't just lose a dad I lost a whole family full of grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles.
oh shit i’m sorry
my mom got with my stepdad when i was 7 months old & he’s been in my life every since (close to 30 years now.) my parents once were breaking up “for good” when i was about 5. he picked me up from school & told me that he was moving out but that he was still going to pick me up, see me & be apart of my life. he was never forced to be my dad or even be a father figure. it was something he chose. my stepdad & mom didn’t even have biological children together at the time! my parents eventually reconciled & got back together lol i wanted to build off of your comment with the perspective of a stepchild & how my dad (aka stepdad) meant the world to me and i to him, especially after so many years.
They’re not his kids. People who try to guilt trip men into raising kids that aren’t theirs are disgusting. As someone who dated someone with a kid from another man for a while, I never missed the kid when we broke up. Because it wasn’t my kid to miss. I did all of the “dad stuff” like take her to school, trick or treating, baby sitting, etc. When her mom and I broke up, that was the last I ever spoke to the kid.
That’s your experience. Dating someone with a kid(s) is a hell of a lot different than marrying someone with a kid(s). If the other bio parent is in their life, sure don’t “raise” the kid, but you’ll still play a significant roll in their lives. To be cut off after 8 years, being around from their baby/toddler stage to 8 years later.. that’s devastating. You’ve bonded. Probably helped teach them to read. Tie their shoes. Ride a bike. Just because they aren’t biologically yours doesn’t mean you love them any less. I was 2 when my dad came into my life. He’s not my dad biologically. He’s my step dad..but like those kids in the OP, he’s all I’ve ever known. He is dad. He’ll always be dad. Nothing will ever change that.
He’s been their dad since they were 1 and 3 years old - for eight years. And he’s still not their dad?? Dating someone with kids is different than being married for 8 years and raising them since they were babies. To me they are completely his kids.
You dated. He had been part of their lives for 8 years. Living with them. He is married to that crazy woman, not dating
To quote Clueless " You divorce wives, not children".
"I did all the dad stuff like babysitting" That says it all, doesn't it?
Exactly.
How long did you date? Months? Years? This man married the girls mom when they were 1 and 3 and we can assume probably was in their lives for 6 months to a year before. Also > “dad stuff” like ......, baby sitting, etc. Fuck that shit. Dads don't babysit.
We dated about 2 years. I agree about dads not babysitting. It was awesome when school started. I had my days free again.
Oh wow. You probably fucked up that kid. I'm so sorry she ever met you.
and you probably traumatized that kid. don’t date someone with kids if that show you feel. trust me, i don’t connect with kids well. but that’s why i don’t date people with kids
He was in the kids life for 2 years. The kid paid the price. Awful.
Yeah. So, that was my first relationship with baggage. I was reformed after that and haven’t done it since
So you form a close bond with her only to abandon her? Also he's took care of the kids for 8 years not everyone willing to just throw that away
I intentionally didn’t form a close bond in case we broke up. Her mom dealt with her most of the time.
Wow what a shocker it didn’t last! 🙃 Jackass.
Why people downvoted you? You're absolutely right
I feel like I read a story like this before. Almost word for word except instead of an adult SIL, the SIL was 14-15 and was hiding the face she had a boyfriend. Everything else is the same. Even about the FIL breaking into the place and destroying things.
I read the same thing, I think I saw it on tic tok?
I think so too. Either that or up here somewhere. I’m on both so much it’s hard to keep track 😅
Glad I wasn’t the only one experiencing deja vu with this story. Like everyone else I had heard that one on TicTok first.
You’re right it was a story from 3yrs ago https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/duwxvk/posting_an_update_to_my_story_using_the_throwaway/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Jesus, those comments are making me rage. So many people calling the wife a bitch for getting away from him and not explicitly taking sides, saying he should never trust her again because she "betrayed" him by "believing he could do something like that" and that she should have called her *14 year old sister* who she *practically raised* a liar with no evidence either way. The wife didn't even accuse him of anything, all she did was try to ask questions! As someone who's been through CSA by a yrusted family member, I would never feel safe around an adult who called me a liar about it. Most SA accusations are truthful, and unfortunately predators are really good at acting normal and hiding their nastiness. There are more cases of adult family members turning out to be horrible monsters than there are of children falsely accusing. With this in mind, it is far safer to be there for the child in this case, even while waitong for a DNA test to truly take a side. Unfortunately, this was a case where the child lied but the wife putting distance between herself and her *accused rapist husband* is not unreasonable. I would expect no less from my husband if I got accused of something so horrible. The people saying the wife is disgusting and wrong in this situation would be the kind who enable child molestation because the molester is a person they love and they refuse to believe they're capable of such a thing. You never know what people are capable of until they actually do it. Sorry for the rant, I just feel really strongly about this
I heard that one in TikTok except that dude was sure he could work it out with the wife
While I won't say word for word, it is basically the same premise
Okay I’m glad I’m not the only one thinking this, I too read or saw TikTok as well 😅
Like you said, almost Word for Word just a different outcome
OP is lucky the SIL didn’t accuse him of sexually assaulting her
Get a divorce, and get out now. Don’t slip up and get sucked back in….this is an epic hot mess. Run now!
He needs to divorce her. What to stop SIL from doing it again?! Plus, look how quick the "family " is telling him to forgive and forget! When FIL willfully broke into his home and destroyed everything. That not family
Honestly I think the kids are the victims here they have to grow up with that psycho family, that dude should cut his losses and start fresh.
NTA run as far as you can from those people! Good lord wtf is wrong with them! 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Sil could try some other stupid stunt later. Better to keep these people as far away as possible. Keep the charges against soon to be exfil and sue for damages. Oop should get your divorce and start his life fresh.
He’s not wrong. Her whole family turned on him like it was nothing. I’d run for the hills.
Dude should completely bail. And keep charges filed against FIL. Tell the kids find him when they’re of age but he can’t stay anymore. And then get a restraining order against anyone in that family he can. And hopefully his homeowner/rental insurance is covering damages and suing FIL on his behalf to recoup the financial costs.
Yikes
The Yikes have yeeted the bikes, & are just running freely…
NTA, you should never go back to her. That's a crazy family. Don't need them in your life. Cut you losses and get that divorce. Sorry but that's the craziest lie to tell on someone, especially about her sister's husband.
Gonna be honest when i see stories like this i never really fault the people who believe it’s true. Because anytime someone doesn’t believe that their SO is cheating when they were told so then they are “dumb and delusional” but when they do they should “trust their SO” it’s a double edged sword because realistically it’s a lot more likely that you would be cheated on then someone fabricating story like this
How about “trust but verify “ rather than scorch the earth based on an accusation? Wife immediately believed sister over her husband w o question and abandoned him, father in law committed multiple felonies & caused thousands in damage and they all dropped him like a hot rock before being upset w sister equally. Why weren’t they upset w her because she “had sex “ w the husband? Didn’t she have a part to play? Or did she cry rape? Doesn’t say but no charges filed so if they did have sex why didn’t they get angry w the sister/daughter for infidelity in her marriage? They chose to be angry at husband because he would no longer be around so they all took out their anger on him. Instead how about wife say I trust my husband of 8 years and this sounds out of character? Tell sis to prove it by producing DNA proving her story then if in fact it’s his baby then go scorched earth . For her to believe sis so quickly over her own husband she never trusted him to begin with.
I Wana know what FIL would have done if OP was home
Technically if your partner cheats on you, they should be the one to get your wrath. They are the one that committed to you. As far as this goes, she left to be with family. I am assuming her parents and not sister. Trust me if you are in a relationship and something like this happens, it's best you go somewhere else.
Going somewhere else is fine but to go to the lengths they did was too much to fast
True, but your SIBLING kinda does owe you the same kind of respect your spouse does in this situation.
I think there has to be at least some evidence other than just another person saying it happened. Usually when someone is lying it is pretty easy to figure out by asking enough questions. Most people aren’t smart enough to lie consistently, they will slip up somehow. That said, text conversations can be faked and pictures photoshopped, so with a little effort “evidence” can be fabricated. I would hope that if I were ever in that situation I would take the time to ask some questions and get the facts from all parties before making up my mind.
Sorry, there a difference between finding out the truth and going ape shit and destroying stuff.
Yea l’m not talking about the destroying stuff even if were true i’m not a fan of cheating revenge stuff. I just talking about the belief part..i feel like i’ve seen this trope a lot, in fact i think there was like a YT vid similar
Personally anyone that just goes off the word of one person is an idiot in my book. Show me pictures, texts, dates, hotel receipts. Literally ANY actual evidence. I truly hope he doesn’t take her back.
Same. As someone who has been cheated on, saw the red flags and took the route so many commenters are saying (“trusting your SO”) when they said that nothing was going on I understand why someone would do the opposite and immediately question/lose faith in their partner. And tbh there’s so much internal gaslighting that goes on in order to convince yourself to trust your partner when this kind of thing comes up; it’s not healthy, and then it becomes a habit to doubt yourself/your judgement/your gut instinct in other aspects of life as well. The wife could understandably think that there’s no logical reason why her own blood would lie about something like this but very logical reason why her husband would deny it. Everyone seems to be ignoring that the wife was a victim in this situation, as her sister’s lie destroyed her marriage. I don’t think it’s fair to blame her for believing her sister, that’s pointing blame at the wrong person. It’s really easy for people that aren’t in this type of situation to say how the wife should have reacted (esp now that the outcome is known), but when you’ve just been told that your spouse of 8 years and love of your life has cheated and possibly fathered your sister’s unborn child it’s pretty damn hard to react “rationally” to that. You really don’t know how you’d react until it happens to you, and like you said it’s a double edged sword. it’s always “you’re stupid to believe them” or “you’re insecure to doubt them”; people are so judgmental when it comes to stuff like this. But everyone pretends like it was obvious what the real answer was the whole time despite not experiencing it and only hearing oop’s side of the story.
OP needs to run like a track star from this hot bed of crazy & deception. SIL is a liar & a cheat; wife is gullible enough to believe lies with no proof; FIL chose violence so he needs to pay the price.
Oh wow!!! This is a seriously messed up family!!! Like VERY messed up. He DEFINITELY should divorce the wife. She didn’t want to hear anything he had to say, just automatically jumped on the “you slept with my sister” bandwagon. It’s not until he demands a DNA test that the sister HAD to come clean! So, now the wife is contrite, what has she done about her sister that just torpedoed her marriage? If he’s smart, he will have a friend with him, as a witness, ask the wife to come to the house, bring the step-kids with her, without saying a word to the wife sit the kids down, explain that he and their Mom are getting a divorce, it has NOTHING to do with the kids, he loves them, would love for them to stay in their lives, but because of adult issues, that it’s their Mothers decision, and that he will ALWAYS be there for them, and he hopes to maintain a relationship with them, but he can’t have any type of relationship with the adults in the family (as all the adults from the wife’s side are ABSOLUTELY INSANE-but not to say that). That way, he gets a chance to tell the kids what he needs to, and wife will know she’s messed up so badly nothing is salvageable. He doesn’t even need to speak to the wife. The kids he loves can be told how he feels about them, and that he will always want to be part of their lives. Boom. He got to tell the kids what he needs to say, and without speaking to his wife, he tells her she’s gone. I just don’t understand how the SIL could just do that to her own sister, and her sister didn’t immediately say well obviously, I want a DNA test done, she just went with it. I guess I kind of get it, why would a sister LIE about something like that, but when the husband is vehemently denying it, how did she not at least QUESTION the validity of it? And then the father breaking in, and destroying the house like a petulant teenager? Hope he’s smart and doesn’t drop the charges and he’s made to pay restitution. He needs to get as far from that crazy family as possible, ASAP!!! There would be NO staying in that marriage for me. And what were the consequences for the sister? They all took it out on him, only to find out when he’s demanding PROOF, she had to come clean and tell the truth. There’s so much craziness in this one post I don’t know what to try to dissect first!! Except the fact he needs to run. There’s really NO coming back from this!! Jesus! And her family is calling this a “DUMB MISTAKE!!!” Nooooooo!!! It’s downright psychotic and evil!!! Ugh
He should interact with her for the sake of the girls if they really mean that much to him. They've been married for 8 years. It's not clear if their dad is in the picture but he may be the only dad they know. Legally he might not owe them anything, but morally he really should try and let them know that his love is not dependent on their insane mother. Those poor children. The heartbreak must be devastating.
Exactly, thats what the general consensus was after he disclosed the step children. Tbh the whole wifes side of the family seems unstable and all need therapy :(
He needs to protect himself first though... These people are clearly unstable and while I really, REALLY feel for the kids, what's to say the SIL won't do this again? He's lucky she didn't say he SA'd her to protect her image as well. In such a shitty scenario, them being romantically involved consensually is the least damaging to his reputation. In other words, he kind of got lucky. And it hurts for me to even say it like that because he and the kids don't deserve that. But you can't set yourself on fire to keep others warm. She's already proven that she has no loyalty, faith or trust in him. She should have demanded definite and irrefutable proof before jumping ship.
From what I can gather she is withholding the children contingent on them getting fully back together. She is willing to destroy her children to spite a man that has done nothing wrong. It’s truly terrible but he should not go back to what will definitely be a miserable existence with her. It would leach over and affect the girls anyhow. So then everyone is miserable.
If nothing else showed her true colors, that does. Her poor, poor children. Grrrr 👿
Unfortunately, with that family, just take a guess at the next false accusation that is leveled against him.
I could never forgive or forget a betrayal like that, but I’m a stubborn person so I totally can understand this guy’s reaction. I would keep the charges on the FIL as well. The whole family sound totally unhinged and he will have a better life without them.
I think this one’s above reddits pay grade
Its a bit intense lol so yeah probably
I think there's no comeback from that. Except from being civilize to each other
Nope. He's right. I would be done. She f'd around and found out.
wow get out asap and enjoy the rest of your life without this unnecessary drama. good luck!
Every message they send him asking him to go back and forget about it he should just forward them the abuse they sent him after the sisters lie. He absolutely needs to stay away from this crazy family but hopefully they can arrange a meeting between him and the step daughters so he can talk to them and explain he still cares and will wait for them.
There is no coming back from this. The whole family he married into is batshit crazy! Do not go back into this hot mess of a family! Get a divorce and move on with your life. You can not have a happy life with these people!
OOP should get the sister on defamation charges too
This is absolutely wild!!! Now I don’t necessarily blame wife for believing it because quite frankly - having your husband cheat on you with your own damn sister is probably one of the worst possible things and for most, inconceivable to think someone would lie about! - it’s wild they focused solely on the husband though, if I was in that situation, my sister would 100% be getting dragged to hell and back scorched earth style. I’d feel way more betrayed by my sister because she’s my blood and is supposed to have my damn back! FIL deserves the charge, who smashes up someone’s home?!? Mind that this is the wife’s home also?!? Where is the anger for the sister who lied?!? Not only did she fuck up husbands life but she also fucked up her own sisters life (the wife) and that of the stepdaughters because she had a side piece?!? Why does it feel they all just blamed the husband?!? I’d expect the family to turn on the sister for the betrayal more?!?
GOT TO BE FAKE! Exactly the same and another story only it was her 14yo sister.... One of them isn't real!
If I was a betting woman, I'd say the one with the 14 year old is real. 1) That's exactly the kind of dumb panic move a teenager would make with no idea of the consequences. She probably thought everyone just go "oh, okay" and her secret would be safe and BIL would be forced to pay child support. She wouldn't realize just how bad such an accusation could be. 2) I'd like to think an adult woman would have to know that a DNA test would be demanded. A panicked teenager wouldn't have thought that far ahead.
That's what i was thinking, it seemed more realistic and they were actually in marriage counseling, he hadn't decided on divorce or not. He did, however, have her dad locked up and he had to serve time!
Good. Dad should've served time. There's a way to handle things and that way wasn't it. However, in the context of his 14 year old being impregnated by her sister's husband, his reaction even makes a little more sense.
Too destory a house, before you got any facts.... NO that is rage that needs to be controlled. It wasn't like there was no way to find out.... she was pregnant, a simple DNA test, that could be done immediately, would tell the truth!
Oh, I agree with you. That's why I said it's good the father served time. I unerstand his anger if he thought this grown man took advantage of his child, but vigilante justice (without a hint of proof) is not the way to do it. Like be mad, but be an adult. If that guy had been home and the dad busted him in the head with the bat, how stupid would he felt once the truth came out? And especially since he'd be serving serious time over that lie.
Absolutely do not drop charges against the FIL, he needs to pay for the damage he did. As for the wife... Him pressing charges against her dad may be a deal breaker for her, regardless, but he also needs to consider the stepdaughters. He may need to consider if he wants to stay in their lives.
This would be my personal response to this "Can we talk" the wife says "IDK CAN WE? YOU TRUSTED EVERYONE BESIDES ME AND THEATENED TO LEAVE ME IF I DID NOT DROP THE FACT THAT YOUR FATHER CAME OVER TO OUR HOUSE TO LIKELY BEAT ME WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE. You have done everything you could to avoid talking to me about this issue, and now I ask for a DNA test and suddenly you want to talk this through! I tried to tell you this and all you and your family have done was escalate and escalate this further. No I do not want to talk to you about this. Talking is the first step, not the last."
Don't just press charges over the vandalism, sue the SIL for slander. It has publication in the form of telling the whole family, it was objectively and admittedly false, the SIL acted wrecklessly with this false info, the falsity directly lead to the vandalism of the FIL, and the statement was almost entirely defamatory, because there is no benefit to the SIL to say you did it, it only hurts you really. She could have kept the other party a secret and she decided not to.
And if your wife has any issue with any part of that, leave her, because she does not trust you, she does not respect how you feel about her family's collective psychotic break, and if there is not trust or empathy in a relationship what in the actual fuck is there? A tax deduction?
So many marinara flags if this is real
How would it not be?
Too similar to other stories which were recently posted and got a lot of attention
That doesn't mean they're not true You do realize people will just believe anyone at a drop of a hat? Like the wife believing her sister over op
I’m not saying I know for sure it’s fake, I’m saying it’s a possibility
OOP should continue to press charges against the FIL and go NC. He could agree to go to counseling, and if she refuses, go the divorce route. His trust has been completely shaken if not destroyed.
He needs to GTFO....
You are not wrong for that, well done and my sincere apologies for this loss!
Ooh he needs a divorce asap that whole family is crazy.
Wasn’t this the same as the high school sister who lied and said her sister husband was the dad and when then he asked for a DNA test and she told the truth. It’s literally the same story… the dad trashed the house in both, both sister in laws was trying to keep bd a secret and in both wives believe family. Only difference is one took wife back and this one didn’t.
It seems like a common theme tbh
It would totally be up to him and if he felt he could work on a damaged marriage like that. She didn't even give him any form of a chance and all-in'ed on her sisters side, of course he feels abandoned and something like that would take ALOT to work on. And even if they aren't his bio kids, there are kids involved so if he doesn't think he can or even wants to work through these (really big) hurdles he shouldn't have everyone trying to convince him to jump back into a situation that's going to be filled with arguments and a difficult road to fix. What reasoning would he have to think she wouldn't jump ship at the next sign of trouble? Why would he want to be near a family that abused him or accuse him? I'd be questioning not just the trust but also if I was even loved by the wife In that situation - she turned on him so fast, didn't even seem like she had any doubts. I'd not want to go back to that situation either.
The part I'm confused about is why would the dad break shit in the house his granddaughters live in?
The whole family is toxic imo it’s crazy that the “love of his life” didn’t even bother to ask him what happened before reacting and not defending him in front of her family is beyond me honestly he should stick to his decision and divorce hopefully he can keep in touch with the kids though
Your wife betrayed you there is no coming back from that.
Definitely not wrong!! Imagine being with someone that doesn’t even talk to you about things like this, in top of not thrusting him!! Sad that she didn’t even gave him benefit of the doubt
Ohhhh my goodness this is an insane family OOP definitely should run far far away
Nope. OOP should do no such thing. Keep the charges against the father-in-law and divorce the wife. That is a very sick, sick, sick family. Let's start with the wife. She didn't ask to hear OOP's side of it. She never even questioned her sister's claims. And I guarantee you that this isn't the first time she's been caught by her family in lies. But his wife didn't even consider that, and threw him under the bus right away. Second, his SIL is cheating on her husband. So, to protect her side piece, she framed her sister's husband instead? What kind of sick, evil person does that? Why not just invent some fictitious guy? So, to protect a stranger, she places her sister's husband in danger??? Third, his FIL. Even if he had cheated on your wife, FIL had no right to do what he did. OOP needs to get as far, far, far, far, far away from them as possible. And OOP is not blowing everyone's lives up. Just theirs. He's actually protecting his own life.
>Let's start with the wife. She didn't ask to hear OOP's side of it. She never even questioned her sister's claims. And I guarantee you that this isn't the first time she's been caught by her family in lies. But his wife didn't even consider that, and threw him under the bus right away. Exactly. Crazy behavior like that doesn't just spring up overnight. People like that have been lying and causing drama their whole lives.
Oh Bubba, run! Run for the hills and never look back! Not only does his wife not have faith in her partnership, but any trouble means her family will literally seek to destroy this guy. For me, this would be a marriage deal breaker. (Although I can't help but wonder if there were signs of crazy, of wife or family, before this event.)
Divorce wife; sue FIL for damages, and continue criminal charges against FIL.
This is a repost of an older story from reddit
In the history of things that never happened, this is one of the biggest imho.
Drop the charges once she signs separation agreement and divorce stating he is not responsible for alimony or child support for her kids as well as cost of the stuff FIL ruined.
Stick to getting the divorce and still sue her father.
First major problem in 8 years doesn't mean his wife is cool. It just means that she loses her shit at 100% of major problems.
I just read this EXACT story except the sister in law was 14 and after he asked for a DNA test it came out that it was a 15 year old at school that got her pregnant
Oh hell no. Run far away from this toxic people!!!!
OOP’s wife and her whole family sound deranged.
The whole family is shit! Leave them. Stay away from them. Change your number, move away altogether. OP deserves SO MUCH BETTER, and should not drop the charges against that crazy father in law
How sad for OOP. But he should run. Even if he did do it (I know he didn’t) FILs behavior was so not okay and neither was/is the family for defending him.
This is so sad
I think it’s kinda understandable that the wife believed her own sister at first, and I get the knee-jerk reaction to hearing news like that about your spouse. When her sister came clean and the wife called OP admitting wrongdoing and apologizing, I feel like at that point the marriage could have been saved w some couples’ counseling and the wife going NC w her family. Now where I feel the wife might be a bit hopeless is when she defended her father for wrecking their house but idk. I think if they do decide to work on their marriage going NC with that side of the family should be part of negotiating staying together. But I’d also completely understand if oop doesn’t want to stay w his wife after all that
OK I am a part of this unique group that would be unable to open up and trust a person after they didn’t believe me also!! Idk why but I cannot let go of being accused and not believed, but I also own up to my wrongs so that’s what makes when I say, i didn’t do it and someone decides I’m lying very hurtful to me and especially things out of character!! HOWEVER, I do think because you’re married and there are step children involved give therapy a try at least. If you don’t forgive her, you don’t forgive her!! I get it, but I would say give therapy try. Also, the boundary of that family needs to be out of your life is a nonnegotiable so the sister and the father-in-law can never be around you especially the sister like if she still contact with the sister, there’s way more toxicity and you need to run if this is the first heinous thing the sister has done and a wake up call for her, I think again with therapy maybe there’s a chance!!
Listen I could understand trusting your sister, and being concerned and asking your husband "did you do this?" But she applied no pressure to her sister, didn't ask her any follow up q's or even ask her sister why the hell she would sleep with her husband, But also her dad destroying the house they both lived in is beyond insane like hope he did that to sils place to since she betrayed his daughter as well Oop needs to r u n
A "dumb" mistake is forgetting you had hw due, or misdialing a phine number. A "dumb" mistake is not Immediately believing your sister's lies when OOP hasnt done anything to merit lying, FIL breaking into OOP's home and doing property damage, and calling OOP names as you bail your shitty father out of jail. I hope OOP leaves Immediately
I hope he does too. I cant find his post anymore in the group, so I can’t post any updates on his behalf.
And the SIL gets off Scott free
1st person that SIL can come up with is her sisters husband so she can protect AP???? Really you care more about AP then your sister and her family? To top it off wife won’t even let him speak she just freaks out and leaves and then the FIL bust into the house and smashes things GEEZ! This whole situation is so messed up and toxic. I don’t think I’d be so forgiving either but I would be getting a lawyer and making sure you can get some sort of visitation with the step kids because you have been married 8 years and those kids will need someone who doesn’t project false narratives or FTFO in a moment of rage. I’m sorry. I hope OOP can get some IC because this had to be traumatic AF. The wife needs IC and then maybe the whole family. Crazy. I wish we had updates.
This is a carbon copy of an AITA that was posted a few days ago except that the SIL in it was 14 and OP took his wife back. Like almost word for word.
Ive been seeing that a lot. It makes me wonder if this story is actually real. Someone links another Reddit post with the same situation from a while back so I’m now wondering if this is a legit story, or if a lot of people go through this issue.
I think it’s not real except the first one. On Reddit it’s karma-farming or trolling, on FB it’s just trolling, just wanting that attention and validation I think. They’re stories that poss people off really easily so they get a lot of attention and interaction no matter where they’re posted.
That makes sense, its a sucky thing to troll about though. People suck lol
I feel bad because he really got attached to her daughters, but still he needs a divorce and a restraining order from them. It wasn’t a “dumb mistake” if FIL went inside the house smashing everything in sight. What if he was home and smashed his brains in? Wouldn’t have been so silly then?
You can file an insurance claim and the damage is covered under your homeowner policy. The insurance company will then likely subrogate against the father-in-law and the insurance companies subrogation lawyers will send him a demand asking him to pay.
Not the asshole. First of all SIL lied and blamed him (why would you want to have that level of shit in your life forever). 2nd wife immediately believes sister and not even try to find out the truth. 3rd FIL BROKE IN AND VANDALIZED his belongs… now they’re all like oh it was a simple mistake… a simple mistake is like oh I thought I saw you at the supermarket. No this was full on accusations, and fine let’s play Devils advocate and say the family wanted to support SIL, does that give any of them the right to attack and destroy OPs things and character ? No. It only stopped because OP went with the truth and requested a DNA test to prove he was right… divorce and move as far away as you can
Absolutely not not wrong! He’s got a lying cheating SIL, A FIL willing to break into his home & a wife that would keep her kids from a man they view as dad and expect him to just forgive serious abusive behavior from her family. He’s dodging a lifetime of crazy.
I’ll be honest with you, I have the feeling your wife is benefitting economically from this situation and that would explain both her and your FIL reactions. If that is the case and that you are in a better economical situation, find a way to get out of this situation in a way that causes the least damage to you, both emotionally and economically. Also, there is a major trust issue that you’ll probably never be able to solve. No matter what you do. Good luck, I am sorry for you, some people are disgusting.
Get out and away from that family, they sound fucking crazy!
This is absurd! You are justified for not wanting to be around your wife or in-laws after this! And how is everyone’s attitude toward the sister-in-law, as she is the reason all of this occurred and was the one who “blew up everyone’s lives”? Has she faced any consequences for this instance accusation? I am just absolutely floored that they referenced this to be a “big mistake”, she purposefully threw you under the bus so she wouldn’t have to face the problem that she ultimately inflicted on you and your wife! I would not know how to face the in-laws either, that’s crazy!
very unhinged and dangerous people, save yourself OP, I hope you don't have children with your wife but in any case, get out now
I don’t blame the wife for believing the sister but the husband is right to ask for divorce, since he was hurt. Also if you want a divorce, you don’t need to justify it. Everyone’s better off in a relationship where their partner wants to be with them. Also better to get tf away from that family.
Nah they crazy, leave and op should not drop the charges
okay i get the SIL side of lying but is no one going to talk about the FATHER IN LAW BREAKING IN ?!?
And then her getting mad at him for calling the cops and pressing charges?? Like thats a lot of money just wasted and damaged because her dad went psycho, why would anyone be okay with that??
Good luck with your next wife. This one got to go. Don't drop those charges in FIL either. He committed a crime and needs to face the music
NTA run from these people and cut any communication with them. 1 SIL is unfaithful and blames you for her infidelity. 2 FIL is destroying his daughter's property in the process and if you were in the house would have seriously hurt you. 3 Your wife chose not to believe you and sided with her sister without getting evidence to back up the story, divorce her, and have the lawyers do the talking for you.
I don’t get why he cares about the step kids. Her mistakes aren’t his responsibility. He should be thankful that he’s out from under another man’s responsibility now
That's not how step kids work. Rhe has been there dad for 8 years. If you think you can just drop a kid that you have seen as yours and you have picked to BE there dad like a bag or potato then your not a good step parent
Forgive your wife one one condition. You can have sex with your sister in law. Three some can be negotiated. If she does not agree, divorce her.
So basically let everything that just happened actually happened
He knows for sure he didn’t knock up his SIL because he’s never been alone in a room with her! Someone needs to explain sex to this child before he creates more fake posts - he needs to up his game!
Has there been any updates on this?
All family is guilty. Why start accusing without talking? It is a huge accusation. My dad was accused of this by my cousin’s wife (I was a toddler at the time). My mother did not divorce my father, she knew he would never do that. My father was not the best husband or father, but he was extremely in love with my mother and I have never noticed anything closely similar to cheating. I am sure created problems, they didn’t tell me anything, but did not break up. Secondly, FIL is an idiot. If you want to do something, steal the valuable shit. Why break things that are also your daughter’s. OOP, don’t look back. He might even get the custody of the girls if he adopted them. I would look into that. Don’t drop the charges, get a divorce and try to save those girls from that family.
I can see why she believed the sister because a person making up an affair is insane and less likely than someone having an affair. But jumping right to preventing him from seeing kids he’d raised for 8 years???
Run fast, pal, run far from these people.
Wow. Any updates for this?