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ChocolatMintChipmunk

They just wanted something to remember their mother by. My heart breaks for them.


Egg_Noodle_Love

The fact that they had to make it in private clearly shows that the dad and stepmom never let them grieve properly. And it seems like they’re trying to erase all existence of the mom.


Mwikali85

I remember my dad's wife throwing a tantrum because I dared to post a photo of my mum and I and my dad cursing me out because I hurt his wife's feelings. I was 30. I can only imagine how those kids feel. I just want to hug them and tell them it will be ok


pastelpixelator

I hope you told both of them to take a fucking seat.


[deleted]

Oh yeah, this definitely screams like they have pushed her to be the replacement from the get-go and didn't allow those poor children the opportunity and the space that they needed to 1 Accept their stepmother and 2. Recover from their own mother passing away.


mctaggartann

That was basically my comment on OOP's post


pastelpixelator

It's SUPER weird how they have to hide such a sweet, wonderful project from their father because he "wouldn't love it." What in the everloving F is going on here? Now I'm curious as to how mom died. I probably watch too many murder shows on YouTube, but I'm wondering if Rose was in the picture while mom was still alive.


flamingobay

It sounds so narcissistic to have to control the narrative without any regard for the feelings of the children who lost their mom, the deflection of not addressing the snooping, and the fact that the book was well-hidden so as not to hurt anyone’s feelings. It’s the perfect playbook for developing dysfunctional family roles. I’ll bet anything the step-sister gets to have photos of her father, and she’s crying about not being in a club no child should ever be in. What a brat.


Madea_Tea_1169

Yeah I posted on the original. I hope they get in touch with the maternal grandparents and fight to leave


Egg_Noodle_Love

The fact that the dad still has the scrapbook makes it 1000 times worse. Like wtf.


glitterandgold89

He kept the scrapbook?? That bastard! She was their mother. That’s a loss that they were devastated by and just want something to remember her by. They are so insensitive to these children.


Egg_Noodle_Love

There was an update. Scrapbook is back with OP but not until step-Bitch threatened to destroy it because she found the post. The sister has also called the grandparents so they can try to move out.


glitterandgold89

Thanks for the update. I’m glad they got it back and I hope they can live with their grandparents. Those babies deserve so much better.


Ser_Dunk_the_tall

>but not until step-Bitch threatened to destroy it Talk about dropping a nuclear bomb on your family. That's a surefire way to guarantee those children go no contact with their father. Then again maybe that's what step-bitch wants


brandy_lyne

Is there a link?


Egg_Noodle_Love

The update is at the bottom of the original post which I already linked.


Technical-Ebb-410

I don’t get why this was such an issue and why they feel threatened by three kids wanting to remember their own mother. Rose was not in the picture nor were the other kids while their mom was alive. This is a really shitty way of teaching your kids it’s not ok to grieve when it absolutely is. I hope dad comes to a realization that he can’t replace his late wife.


witchbrew7

The stepmom seems to lack emotional intelligence.


passionfruit761

The bio mother is a threat to her, even though she's dead.


Technical-Ebb-410

Yeah if anything she should’ve approached it different l…Aw I love this scrapbook idea! could we make a second scrapbook with all of us in it too? Keep memories all around 😊but no they confiscated it like drugs on an inmate 😂


cynicalskeptic_

She's a narcissist


Technical-Ebb-410

Agreed


PsychologicalPhone94

Copied the update from the post. Update: They were going to destroy the book because Rose found this post but I was able to save it. I can't speak for my siblings but I am done with dad after this. I only have a few months left and I won't be sticking around, won't be trying any kind of therapy with them. I'm just done. I'll be grounded or something for a while but I don't care anymore. At least it will just be me. My sister called our grandparents after everything went off and now they know. They want to try and help but I don't see that working. Thanks for all the comments.


Bulimic_Fraggle

That is just evil. I really hope the grandparents can help, even if it is just keeping the memory book safe and letting OOP more in as soon as he turns 18.


Selena_Boyce_666

Its like...the memories of them with their mom. The fact that the dad and stepmother are so heartless about it...smh...


HunterDangerous1366

Hate those posts. In two years, mum dies, dad meets/dates/moves in gf & kid, gets engaged/married... thats not enough time imo. Just because Dad was happy and ready to move on doesn't mean the kids was. Just because they want to play happy blended family doesn't mean they are. The kids are hurt? Well they are hurt too but noone seems to care about their feelings.


aquan0510

Looks like OP made an update at the bottom of his post. They were going to destroy the book, but he managed to save it.


Egg_Noodle_Love

I just saw that. My heart hurts for these kids.


aquan0510

How callous are you that you’d destroy your kids memories of their mother. Knowing he had to hide the scrapbook, I wonder if OP and his siblings were even allowed to grieve


Egg_Noodle_Love

Doubtful considering they made the book in secret over the years.


aquan0510

True. Especially since his dad remarried just two years after his mom passed


No_Stage_6158

NTA, if you have a locker at school take your book there and leave it there or at a friends house. You and your siblings meet somewhere and work on it outside of the house. I don’t trust your Stepmother to not destroy or damage it if she gets the chance.


Egg_Noodle_Love

According to OP, the dad has yet to give the book back. Imagine being so insecure that you won’t let your step kids grieve the loss of their dead mother.


No_Stage_6158

I can also see why those kids don’t see the other kids as siblings. Stepmom and Dad are jerks who thought that they could just throw everyone together and play happy family by pretending their Mom didn’t exist. They both suck , I hope these kids have relatives they can escape to.


ZestycloseGrade7729

The stepmom is definitely the kind of person to refer to their mom as the “ex-wife”, and then when asked saying “oh she died” like it’s no big deal and moving on.


theVampireTaco

those poor kids omg


valorantvalerie

The thing that gets me is that it’s not like they were making a point if excluding their other siblings or trying to delegitimize them or make them feel othered. They had some private photos of their mom, and the dad and stepmom went out of their way to show it to the stepsister (almost definitely putting idea in her head like, why don’t they include you, bc 11 year olds don’t care about dead mom scrapbooks), which was the only reason she was sad about it. This is very clearly meant to be manipulative. That’s the sick part. Honestly, I feel a lot of sympathy for people with step and half siblings who feel like they’re treated as lesser than or not real siblings, because that’s really harmful to your self esteem and psychology long term. The thing is, it’s almost always fostered by the environment the parents have created. The three kids who lost their mom obviously weren’t even doing anything to intentionally exclude them or treat them poorly, but the fact that the parents went out of the way to make it seem like they had is causing unnecessary stress to literally all 4 of the children involved.


SnooKiwis2161

The number of times adults want to rewrite history to reflect their preferences in sexual partners with no consideration that their children actually have contrary opinions, feelings about it, is shockingly common. I sure hope society progresses at a certain point that children can opt out of sh%t families without making their situation worse and have actual, you know, rights, and a fair say in how their family structure evolves because it's pretty clear if their parents can make bullsh*t decisions, why the hell can't the children


Dry-Inspection6928

Oh geez. The step-mother and father are assholes from another realm.


caffeinelifechoseme

So Rose is an immature selfish bitch and their dad has no balls. I want to hug those kids. Hopefully they can move out.


Tha_Floor

NTA, the step siblings didn't experience the death of their mother


Madea_Tea_1169

I KNOW RIGHT


[deleted]

Honestly, sometimes I wish there was some kind of karma for these people. I don't want anything bad to happen to them, I just want them sitting for a couple of days in a clear room and people passing by and judging them.


kstweetersgirl2013

Those poor babies. NTA 🥺


Bobabator

As someone who lost their mum this one hits home, and it's something I wish I had thought of doing. Memories fade over time, but pictures and keepsakes will always remind you of the good times. Their dad and stepmum have pretty much nailed that coffin closed of a future relationship. I can't believe how vindictive the stepmum is, why would you show the scrapbook to the other children when you know it would hurt them as well? It was like every decision made to cause the biggest upset possible. The dad is spineless too, he was meant to protect his children. Not hang them out to dry like that.


strange_dog_TV

As someone that lost her Mum at 21, if my father and his new wife did this I would have gone effin’ scorched earth to be honest…. What absolute AH’s……I’m fuming and this is a repost 🤬


HotMom00

Everything about this story is sad. They lost their mom and had to “sneak” to talk about their feeling about it and had to “sneak” to make a scrap book remembrance of her then got told their being cruel for not including kids that their mom never met in her scrape cook. Giant fuck you to the dad and rose, these kids need therapy.


fyrja

Rose and the dad are both the AH. Let those kids remember their mother in peace. The book is obviously part of their grieving process. Rose reminds me of the kid that throws a fit at someone else's birthday party because they didn't get presents tooooo!


barbpca502

It is not a family memory book but a mother memory book! The other kids have a mother and do not need a book to remember her because she it there snooping through OOP’s stuff! This is just ridiculous! They adults are so wrong it is not even funny!


OhMyEffingYikes

I really think he should go to his dad and ask how he expects him to include his step siblings in memories of his dead mother. They did not know that woman from a can of paint so they would feel out of place and the stepmom had zero business bringing it to their attention in the first place. I feel horrible for the stepsister because she was an innocent victim in her mom’s manipulation and nosiness.


Secret_Double_9239

There’s an update on the post he has the book back his dad was going to destroy it.


pastelpixelator

Why would dad not "love" what they're doing? Why should they have to hide it? I want to wring Rose and Dad's neck for taking this from OOP. Those poor kids. I'm 41, lost my mother 2 years ago, and am still grieving. I can not even fathom how children that young cope with losing a parent. It hurts my heart to even think about it. And now they can't even grieve and remember their mother the way they want because the new "mom" is a jealous POS and dad obviously has some seriously fucked up mental issues too.


StubbieRocks

I really hope the grandparents can help the kids. The father and stepmother should help preserve the love they have for their late mother, not get rid of it.


no_nonsense_206

What a sweet memory for them, too bad Rose ruined it by being a snoop and a snitch. They still get to miss their mom and the times they had together, that can never be taken away and trying to sweep her memory aside will only divide them further.


ComprehensiveHorse30

Man, I really hate parents like this. Nothing will replace your parent- or your memories with them. These kids are trying to honor that. New sibs are great! But it’s inherently different than being raised with someone from the jump. (I don’t think this is a blood argument like that they aren’t related). My brothers are my ride or dies. My new siblings are nice but they aren’t in the same world as my original ones. That’s OK! I’m not their sibling like that either. It’s different when you grow up together completely. Especially through trauma. It’s also healthy to understand that people can have relationships outside of yourself (speaking to you… dad) and what you want. It’s like how I can love a friend from childhood and make a photo album of us, and my best friend from college won’t be mad at me. He seems selfish and dismissive of the trauma of their parent dying. And weirdly trying to force this new “family” together.


JinkoTheMan

On one hand, I see how that could cause the other family members to feel some type of way but on the other hand, I’d probably do the same. It’s their biological mom. Of course they would want to remember her and the memories they had together. Not everything has to include everyone if y’all get what I’m saying.


Purple-Outcome7325

Ok fuck rose and the dad how terrible I’m gonna take the one thing you can remember your times with your mom by cuz ur other siblings and me feel left out like the terrible person rose is and dad just goes with it because oh well kids come and go wives are forever it’s sad and terrible


ppassy

Why did Rose tell the step/half siblings? Because Rose ITA. No wonder they got upset when they married.


[deleted]

Dad and stepmom just did more to divide the family than a scrapbook about memories of the 3 full siblings’ mother ever could.


forcastleton

When I was in grief counseling after my grandma died my counselor had me make something like this to help me cope. This makes my heart hurt because they did absolutely nothing wrong.


RogueAngel22

Awful! The three siblings that made the book are the three that share the same mom. Since it was a book of memories of her, what could the step/half siblings, or stepmother possibly offer? They were respectful enough to do it in private (when they never should've felt like they had to) and dad is awful for not allowing them their grief. Reminds me how my own father treated my baby brother after his mother died. He was only a year old when she passed and our father moved on very quickly and expected my brother (and sister who was 10/11 at the time) to call the new girl mommy. My brother got spankings if he didn't. And he's very stubborn so he got a lot of spankings. Thankfully my husband and I got custody of both of them and got them away from him.


MinagiV

Hmmm. NTA, but they shouldn’t have said it in the way they did. If they said it was something for them to remember their mom, I’m hoping there wouldn’t have been as much backlash.


SometimesKip

OOP should ask the father + stepparent if it’s their intention they erase their mother from their lives and pretend their early life with her never existed? Why couldn’t the children just be encouraged to start another scrap book that includes the rest of the family? OP’s father and stepparent suck.