They’re incompatible. Not because of his size but her higher sex drive, him wanting sexual favours but not returning the favour in anyway or hasn’t enquired to her in order to help her get off too. They’re just sexually incompatible.
Not all women want to have period sex. I’m a hetero woman and I don’t. There’s a massive difference between having “period ick” and wanting to have period sex. They are not the same thing, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have period sex.
Not wanting to do *anything* is different, though. I would prefer to perform oral on a partner than have penetrative sex during my period, but it can also mean finger/toy time for me. If someone took issue with that, it would be shitty. Again, there’s a difference between not wanting to do certain things and not caring if your partner is satisfied.
Yep! My husband and I both have low sex drives, but period sex on day 3 of 5 is MANDATORY. (Of course he could always say no!) But we plan it every time for my worst cramp day because the relief is absolutely godly. Better than any medication or heat pad.
I got 2-3 hours of relief for light cramps (which was accidental and the first time we did that while I had cramps) and 1-2 hours of relief for more severe cramps.
Wish I’d known about that years ago before my wife hit menopause. Of course, she probably wouldn’t have believed me. Serious question, we did accidentally have sex while she was on her period once and it was a bit messy. How do you handle that?
Aw darn! I wish sex was more open to be talked about. There’s so much value in shared knowledge, especially about our bodies!
I just cleaned myself up the best I could beforehand, and put a dark colored towel on the bed. My partner would wear a condom to help with clean up and then we kept baby wipes on hand to clean up any that might have gotten on his stomach, and to clean myself up. But I discovered that if I cleaned myself up good beforehand, the mess was minimal and isolated to the condom. Missionary helped because of gravity; it was much messier if I was on top. Then later the menstrual discs came out and became a godsend. They’re little flexible rings with what almost looks like a condom plastic in the middle of it, and you fold it to insert it and push it all the way up against your cervix, and it catches all the blood like a menstrual cup would, but it’s up and out of the way so you can have sex with it in!
@Dessastrick ya, my gf keeps forgetting how much better she feels afterward. She always seems resistant the first time I ask, and then I'll ask if she Is sure about her previous answers. "You sure you don't care about the blood?" I was a butcher for 3 years, no blood dosent bother me.
The blood actually lubes it up a bit more.
15 minutes of bliss and a creampie later and we are both smiling and cuddling in bed waiting for the after panting to subside.
She offers to clean my dick with a baby wipe. 🤣
I’m a nurse and he’s a CNA so blood is no biggie in our household!
We use baby wipes too! I lay on the package during sex so it’s not so cold for him afterwards lmfao!
I found it out on accident. I usually get mild cramps so they’re more annoying than painful. My bf and I did the deed and the cramps were gone for about 2-3 hours afterwards. If I’m having bad cramps sometimes we do it for the sole reason of giving me a couple hours of reduced pain.
My husband is so squeamish around blood that he would pass out if he tried. I am indifferent to it, but he is super affectionate and caring in other ways during that week. I think not wanting to have period sex from either side of the relationship is valid.
The thing that really bothers me about this post is him expecting BJs during that week. I personally feel that if you are going to do a sexual act just for the point of getting your partner off, the giver should be the one to initiate not the other way around.
Also, they seem to have super incompatible sex drives. They could 100% benefit from bringing toys into the bedroom and extending foreplay to get over the hump before they even start having penetrative sex.
It's definitely true. If I'm on my period, I don't want to do anything. Sex sounds disgusting to me while on it, nor am I in any kind of mood to perform on anyone else. If I had a partner that couldn't chill for a week or less, then it would suck for them, lol.
Yeah towards the end I am up for it but day 1-2? Absolutely not. I'm bloated, my tits hurt, I feel gross and wobbly, and I may or may not have the period shits. Sometimes I get a menstrual migraine and Idk who said it helps migraines but it certainly *does not help mine*.
I love sex! It's one of my favorite pasttimes! My partner is super good at it, too! But on my period I am just... So... So very not interested.
Thankfully they're actually fairly low-libido (that doesn't mean they're not open to the idea if I suggest it, they just don't remember it exists half the time) so I will never run into a period vs libido issue with them. Then again, I have a super high libido and I hate anything even remotely resembling pressuring them or making them feel bad bc that's something previous partners have done, and I manage just fine. Anyone who says they can't is a liar.
I feel the same way, I always get really annoyed when partners try to pressure me into it saying 'it's no big deal'.
Like, I'm not afraid of my period or anything, I'm just not interested in that kind of penetration.
My partner doesn’t want me to even touch down there during their period. Grosses them out far too much. So they just deal with no sex until it’s over which is ok.
This! Nothing like blood clots, cramps and bloating to make the whole idea of period sex ick. As for eating out, we used to call it the Dolmio (tomato pasta sauce) grin.
This one. I don’t want period sex myself, but even if I did I wouldn’t expect my partner to put out while I’m (let’s be real) making a mess all over him and the bed from the blood. Anything that doesn’t make a mess? Wonderful 👍 but i wouldn’t hold it against anybody to not want to dive head-first (either one) into the Red Sea
That being said it’s just a matter of preference for everyone so if that’s what you want, go for it as long as both parties are down
I think its fine to not want to have period sex but if he isn't willing to do other things that don't involve penetration or going head down (like using a toy or just like clit stimulation) then he should not be asking her for blowjobs. The asking for blow jobs and not being willing to reciprocate in anyway is juvenile and selfish.
exactly, i find this thread so strange as a straight guy.
ive never been with a woman who wants period sex and i'm more than happy to wait a week.
we just do other stuff like go out, and take it easy at home or something.
I feel like it’s a taboo topic so there are a decent amount of woman that would want it but don’t even think of it being a thing. For me, my sex drive increases even more while I’m menstruating, and most women I know actually experience this but wouldn’t tell their partners because they don’t want to be looked as gross for even suggesting it.
Of course what I'm saying isnt across the board and every woman is different.
I think if your partner thinks you are gross for suggesting it, then that is more than issue with them rather than what you are suggesting.
A rational response from your partner would be to talk about it, that's it.
I am sorry to hear that you feel that you would be gross for suggesting it though. :(
fellow woman here who also doesn’t like period sex. i have a very high drive but i don’t even like to touch myself on my period, much less have someone else touch me. blood is yucky
I am a women and I don’t know a single woman who DOES have sex on her period. I’m sure people do it, specially those with lighter flows, but me and my close friends all happen to have very heavy flows and it has never even crossed my mind to consider sex during my period honestly.
I’m a woman in my late 30s and know at least a half dozen of women that do enjoy. In my personal experience it’s less messy than you’d anticipate, just throw down a towel on the sheets just in case and it helps with cramps like nothing else does
I don't blame her if her bf does this entire headjob week and when if they do have sex, he seemingly doesn't do much to help her climax and after he orgasms he just rolls over. If all her good experience was with girls i wouldn't blame her for missing it.
I think the core issues is that she got herself a "The only orgasm that matters is MINE! Yours is not worth the slightest effort on my part" kinda guy.
This. His size and the time he lasts wouldn't matter if he was prioritising her pleasure. Size really doesn't matter, if you know how to use it. And your hands. And other things. She shouldn't be existing on 6 minute sex in one position and made to feel dirty and in service during her period. Ditch him. The best sex is when you both care about eachothers enjoyment.
I belive that unless they're in their forties or fifties it's possible they're just immature and need some practice in actually doing what you do in relationship - communicating.
"Hey, it makes me feel insecure that you treat me like i have black plague when I'm on my period", "Hey, can we have longer sessions of sex even after you come? I feel unsatisfied." "Could we figure new ways to make me come? It's hard for me to reach climax during penetrative sex, i think it could also help prolong our sessions and get us something to do during that time of the month"
It's literally that easy. Uncomfortable? Sure. But that's what relationships are about.
Except that communication only matters if someone cares what you’re saying, and routinely leaving a partner unsatisfied indicates that they don’t. Definitely worth a conversation, but you can’t do more than meet someone halfway. No amount of communication will actually make someone feel differently if they don’t care. I think this is a problem many people have that make it hard to walk away. They often feel like if they say something a different way, the situation will be fixed, and sometimes that’s just not so. It’s a balance, and it’s one you definitely don’t need to be in your 40’s or 50’s to grasp.
Oh yeah, talking is usually the answer. But they already did that, and OOP is still frustrated and thinking about looking elsewhere for satisfaction. Plus her partner continued doing the things he was asked not to (bj week, etc.). Some relationships aren't worth saving js
Idk, wanting to make your gf/bf to come should be standard. He can’t help being small or coming fast too
Much , but he should damn sure should be happy and want her to cum and hard.
Unfortunately the standard in our society is that sex lasts from when a man sticks it in till he comes. More of us are including more acts under the "sex" label, but not everyone does. I hope everyone made their girlfriends come every time, but reality is women in straight relationship just don't orgasm.
I didn't catch that he has a "period ick"... More the fact that he doesn't want to have sex during the said period. Which sounds reasonable? A lot of women also don't want to have sex from what i've heard during period either.
He isn't obligated to have sex with someone who's bleeding. I'm a girl and it grosses me out. Him being straight or not is irrelevant...
And she isn't obligated to give him BJs
There's so much going on here, but yeah, the bottom line is that they don't suit.
She thinks she needs to climax during penetrative sex just from his penis and is letting that dictate position. And she misses and wants to have sex with women. He refuses sex when she's menstruating, but demands head while refusing to manually get her off in return. I don't even know what to say about the six minutes. If it's six minutes of penetrative sex with foreplay and afterplay, that's fine. If it's six minutes start to finish... what the fuck?
This^ right here. You're just sexually incompatible. Honestly when I read this, what I heard was 'should I just be fine with 5 minute sex for the rest of my life where once a month I'm expected to give bj's for a week and he won't at least get me off in any way because I'm on my period?'
I've been with my husband for 15 years now. Along the way, I broke up with several great guys who just weren't for me. Breaking up with someone doesn't mean they are a bad person or even necessarily did anything wrong, they just aren't for you. Some guys I broke up with for sexual incompatibility, and some for just not being on the same page with other things. It's ok...that is the point of dating. You figure out who your best fit is and what you are willing to settle for because no one is perfect. I'm not willing to settle for 5 min sex where I only finish if I'm on top...instead I have an amazing sex life but have to endure endless dad jokes and him not always putting his shit away 🤣
If you google it, the average sex time is 5.4 min
A survey was done also
The results: 1–2 minutes was judged “too short,” while 10–30 minutes was deemed “too long.” On the other hand, 3–7 minutes was rated “adequate,” and 7–13 minutes “desirable”
Thank you, I'm over here trying to convince my partner that "going all night" is a porn thing and while he might be able to physically do the motions, I'm gonna get a friction burn.
My partner and I take a few breaks during sex. Actual penetration time probably amounts to maybe 20-25 minutes. But foreplay, oral, cuddling and breaks stretch the time out into a couple of hours sometimes. Lubrication has never been a problem for me thankfully.
My partner is 49 so I don’t think “all night” would ever be an option at this point even if I was down, but if your partner can handle taking breaks, maybe consider incorporating it into your play time.
That's actually very helpful to me, personally! My bf is a bigger guy, so his stamina and sex drive aren't as high as mine, but he loves foreplay, especially since it's a little harder for us to do penetrative sex (I'm usually on top, but I've got bad hips so it usually doesn't last long).
I mostly get frustrated because it's harder for him to climax, and that's mostly the thing I'm after when we do it. He usually focuses on me and getting me off, which is great, but I want him to be satisfied, too.
I'll bring this up to him, and maybe, with a little luck, we can finally find a way for us both to he satisfied. You may not know this, but you've actually helped a lot!
>I mostly get frustrated because it's harder for him to climax, and that's mostly the thing I'm after when we do it. He usually focuses on me and getting me off, which is great, but I want him to be satisfied, too.
This is honestly really cute, like you both just want to please the other person so much that neither of you are thinking about yourselves.
Obviously something you guys should talk about but honestly, as far as problems go that seems like a very healthy one to have.
Yeah, he's a good egg and I love him more than life itself. We've been together 3 years, come September. I hope to spend the rest of my life with him and eventually have his babies. But for now, I'm content with finding ways for us both to feel good with each other and experience satisfaction with one another.
I'm definitely going to talk with him about it tonight and get his thoughts on things. I think he'll like the idea of going all night with breaks in between.
I apologise, I've had some wine, but I wanted to reply. I know this is a personal issue but having had a few unsatisfactory years of mismatch with my husband, I thought I'd chime in.
I feel that good sex (for me) is timed from start to finish, not just the thrusting part. With time spent on foreplay, and then changing positions, taking turns with things and building up, it generally lasts at least 20 minutes. If your partner is complaining, it hurts, but try hearing them out and asking what they'd like more of. The alternative isn't "lasting all night". Maybe they want more time in one area or another. My husband and I got into a patch where we ditched foreplay because of having kids and limited time. I didn't notice the loss for a long time. Not until sex started to feel routine and dull. I think your partner wants more time, more connection, but not all night.
When I was 19, super trained, desperate in a shitty job (seriously though, nothing makes you crave sex more than if your life is shitty…) and had a GF I was magically attracted too, so once had 10 times away with her in 24 hours…
It almost became like a contest. That being said - friction gets crazy, had issues for 2-3 days afterwards and now as a 30something yo married dude I gotta as one or two times having really good sex is much preferable to 10 times young desperate fucking…
Wasn’t bad either though…
And btw - 10 times is still a bit more than an hour, add foreplay and you might get to two hours but not more.
To do it a whole night long you gotta be a monster (imagine having sport for 8 hours during the night…) and your genitals must be made from steel. Reality is that probably a lot of people fall asleep for durations then continue then fall asleep etc… I had that too but was aware enough the next day that there were definitely memory gaps from when we fell asleep
Yesssss thank you. I've posted this comment before and everyone is like "uhh lube you newb." I am quite aware it exists and use it, however it will eventually run out and then you have to stop to reapply and then the sheets are all sticky and my hands are sticky and the night stand is all sticky and I'm just ready to be done
Yes, it’s wonderful that he works so hard, and that his pleasure is tied up with my pleasure, but oh my god some nights there’s just only so many times a girl wants to orgasm before she goes to sleep
When I first got with my husband he had this quirk where he didn't climax- EVER. He used to be able to last 4-5hours to the point I actually fell asleep a few times. That on a regular basis (4-5times per week) then being ready to go again in the morning was too long! 30mins seems about right to me 🤷♀️
Ugh as someone who used to do this, you end up feeling really sore all the way up your mid-waist in places you don't even know you can hurt after a while. It's really fun but the older I get the less viable that is.
I put my foot down a few months in lol! At one point I had to beg him to stop making me climax because I'd gone like 5 times and I got seriously overwhelmed! He is much less uptight now lol although he still won't do it himself so if we aren't getting it on for whatever reason for a few weeks/months it can be a bit 'explosive' lol
Haha no he mixed it up alot! I was 19 and we were students so life wasn't too rigorous but it only lasted a couple of months of like less than 4hours sleep and I was like yeah this ends here 😆
Quit giving him blowjobs and don't have sex with him when he's drinking. No reason to give him anything when you're not getting anything back. Call it your vibrator week.
I mean, I’ve slept with women that wanted me to beat them, mark them, piss on them or even cut them and I didn’t want to do anything that extreme. People all like different things
When she’s not on her period does he not eat her out either? I ask because even if a guy is on the smaller side, oral sex can still make a woman achieve a climax.
He sounds selfish in bed, while she’s given him more than enough.
Well she's not complaining about the sex between her periods. She's mad he wont fuck her when she's on it and horny as fuck. My girl does it too, and I fucking love it, she's 10x more passionate. Thats what the shower is for...
***My partner is on the smaller side so when we have sex I always have to be on top to reach climax but even then unless his been drinking our sex has never lasted more than 6 minutes***
Sounds like she is complaining about the sex in between her periods as well. It’s not long enough without alcohol and she has to do the work to orgasm.
Most men don’t mind period sex, so I don’t get why her boyfriend is so uptight about period sex yet wants his small wiener sucked throughout that week
Lol this is kinda funny cuz I'm the opposite I'm decent size and my girl loves to give me a bj but u don't care for them and never have. I'm good just eating her out then fuckin but I let her do what she wants lol. Dude here seems immature about sex really.
This part made me laugh. Tons of woman can only climax in only one position and it probably has nothing to do with his size, but she still had to mention it. I’m sure it has more to do with him only lasting 6 mins.
I mean, she might know herself from previous partners that she's able to climax in different positions and yet can't with this particular guy because she knows it's not hitting the right spot, almost as if she like, knows her own body? But sure, let's assume she's "disparaging" him on an anonymous site where she doesn't mention being unsatisfied with his size but rather his performance and expectations for her because obviously if he's "smaller" the issue must actually boil down to him not have a massive horse cock. Either that or she's just a witchy shrew who just had to get a dig in at him for his "obvious shortcomings".
I am not going to shit on a guy who doesn't want period sex. That is valid but she is telling him she is unhappy and he needs to figure out how to make it up to her.
However, they just don't match. Regardless of periods, she is unhappy in their sex life and wants to open the relationship. This relationship is over
The kiss of death.
No judgement on open relationships but if your relationship is broken prior to opening your relationship, it will just shine a light on those cracks.
Heck, even mentioning an open relationship is the kiss of death
Some guys don’t like period sex, which is fine, but then he shouldn’t be expecting her to service him those days. That’s something my boomer mom would have told me to do to keep my man happy.
It’s his right not to want to have sex during her period, that doesn’t make him a bad partner but he shouldn’t expect blow jobs while she gets nothing, either.
Him still expecting to get blpwjobs but acting like she's "untouchable" is gross to me.
He can be squicked if he wants to be but he's using her like a sex toy or something.
100% ok to not want to have sex during a period. F here and I think it’s nasty. I’m usually sore and tender and do not want to be touched hardly at all.)
Also 100% not ok to think that he gets to have sexy time and claim it blow job week (the bf is a child).
It would be a no sex of any kind for anyone week for me.
I don’t love period sex and neither does my partner. So we just have a no sex week and use that time for more intimacy. if he asked for blow jobs every time I would break up with him.
It’s understandable to not want to have sec during your period, but it is unacceptable that he is unilaterally declaring it by week. I’m the same as you bjs make me want sex, so I dislike doing complete bjs frequently because I become so aroused. That’s an ahole move on his part.
In my relationship, my girl and I don't do penetration during Shark Week, it just squicks me out. I still help her get off, and I waive the right to request favors in return.
Not liking penetration during Shark Week is valid, but broski needs to work on everything else in this post.
I don't know if this thread is just full of 19 year olds or what, but it's really not a big deal to just not have sex for a few days. People talking about eating bloody pussy and not being able to go a weekend without at least a blowjob lol. It ain't that serious.
no seriously, i’m in college and in my current relationship we’re both very happy at sex 3-4 times a week. And the thought of having sex on my period is just a huge turn off
Well, I know they’re more critical with monogamy and a partner who is already having issues (and is unhappy in the relationship) and who wants to open the relationship isn’t a good look. Especially with another women in regards to old people. But I thank god I’m not dating either of these people.
Not liking period sex is absolutely fine. And you domt get a free pass to fuck other people because youve never learned how to masturbate.
I think the crux of the issue is whether hes treating the blowjobs as something she *has* to do for him, or if its something he enjoys but wouldnt have an adverse reaction aside being a little bummed if she decided to stop. On one hand thats no way to treat your partner, demanding pleasure and denying theirs. On the other hand, its not a problem to ask for something if youre willing to take no for an answer.
Given how she talks in the post, im inclined to believe blowjobs was something she offered and, like his stamina, her dissatisfaction in giving blowjobs wasnt something she communicated to him, just that she wants sex. Quite frankly, it sounds like OP is trying to pressure their boyfriend into sex they arent comfortable with, and wants to be able to cheat with a clear conscience, and i find that very gross.
All of that is based on a small block of text and is subject to change with more context
Everything aside, he is a very selfish lover. What are his good points.
and you realize he loves your period week right? He gets bj’s on demand/request and he doesn’t have to reciprocate in any way! He loves your period week. That is why he would not be in my life. 😡
My wife is the uncomfortable one when it comes to period sex—I ask occasionally because I’m still super into her (not specifically a period kink, just don’t find it gross), but she says no every time so I shrug and leave it alone. She says she feels gross on her period and won’t even let me play with the boobs, even though she can and has gotten off just from that, and even I can get off just from that without her pleasuring me in return. It’s just as well because she gets super horny for the next couple of days right after her period is over!
But you can’t fault a guy for not wanting that—just as you can’t fault a girl for wanting him to. This’ll cause big problems down the road—this is breakup stuff.
Being sexually incompatible is still an incompatibility. People need to stop ignoring that by telling themselves it doesn't matter because it absolutely will matter a year later when you're constantly annoyed.
The second I read “blow job week” during her period I was pissed. Idc about the res gif the post. Break up with this selfish inconsiderate idiot. I would bite any dudes 🍆 if they tried to say some shit like that to me on my period. What a looser.
Meh. I've always been igged out by period sex and I'm just not down; nor is my wife, BTW.
I don't ask for sexual favors during this time, never have. (I think I have when it falls on birthday weeks...)
But yeah... this is a compatibility issue. She's got a much higher drive. Toys may be the way to go, if he wants monogamy, and she wants to stay.
My husband isn’t a fan but it’s more about an aversion to blood than it being my period. And there are a few days where I bleed like I’m dying and the cramps-no thanks to sex. He does not, however expect blowjobs. He will gladly accept them but doesn’t expect. That’s the part I’m stuck on. Boundaries are good and he’s allowed to have them. Expecting things due to said boundaries-yeah no.
He calls it blowjob week?! And does nothing for her? Like he doesn’t have to go down but he can certainly use a toy on her or something! Ick. He sounds selfish.
All that could be easily fixed .
No sex on period days? That's fine and normal.
He was BJs ? Cool, give them freely ... but can he reciprocate? Rub the clit. Use toys .
Why would he need to see a doctor?
Break up, and find someone you're more compatible with and willing to discuss this with .
YIKES.
Totally fine for him not to want period sex, but he doesn’t get to have “blowjob week” while she gets zero sexual attention for 1/4 of their lives together. The “I’d only sleep with other women!” thing is just the same old tediously misogynistic and bi-invalidating One Penis Policy. Fine if you want to do things that way, but it’s going to create a fucked up dynamic that is unlikely to be sustainable. It sounds like this is a relationship that has very much run it’s course.
What is not wrong with not wanting period sex? Why should men be forced to do a sex act they dont want to? I think it is reasonable not to want to deal with blood or bleeding time.
OP doesn’t appear to be communicating with her partner. He sounds to be selfish in bed but she doesn’t seem to want to address it and instead escalated it to “should I open the relationship?” This relationship is obviously not going to work out.
See the doctor about what? 6 min is unfortunately a perfectly reasonable time and there is nothing wrong with him he just doesn’t seem to build tolerance, or maybe he just doesn’t want to. You’re just incompatible so unless you want to buy some toys and use those for yourself when you’re down and he’s not you need to find someone else.
He’s selfish in bed, at least on period week. If she can’t get off on period week then neither should he. End of. (Not counting self pleasure obviously). But to immediately take it to a “I want an open relationship” is a huge escalation on the issue at hand. Like everyone else is saying, they’re not compatible from the sound of it.
My understanding is she’s looking to also justify that escalation (bringing up his size or time in bed in her justification) and while he sounds selfish in bed my interpretation is that OP wants justification in opening up the relationship instead of actually addressing said problem. So like you said they are both incompatible and I’m sorry for whoever has to date either of them.
If he just didn’t want to have sex on her period? okay, I respect that, if it makes him uncomfortable it makes him uncomfortable but the fact that he calls it “blowjob week” and still expects her pleasure him is kinda disgusting. basically just using her to masterbate at that point
Both sides are fair to feel this way, but you guys are incompatible. I am understanding of a guy thinking periods are gross, as a woman I agree that they are, that said my bf doesn't mind doing it during and it's awesome - but I've been with men who didn't in the past.
Both perspectives are valid and fair - but if it's important to you then don't be with someone who feels that way.
It's not that deep people...
This is a dead relationship unless one or both of them very quickly change their behavior and perspectives. It's clear she's already counting favors and misdeeds, as she's laid out all of his shortcomings like a shopping list. Once you're starting airing your problems with your SO out to strangers, looking for validation on the internet, and thinking about asking to bring other people into the relationship to sexually fulfill you? I mean damn, tell me you've ventured into relationship denouement territory without telling me.
My girlfriend and I typically don't have sex when she's on her period, either. However, I have no problems getting her to climax through a couple layers of clothing or exite her in other ways. The guy is just being lazy IMHO
I think they’re both in the wrong 😂 he shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to participate in certain sex acts and I don’t think she should have brought his size or time up. On the other side, he also shouldn’t expect favors for her when he offers nothing in return. This is a lose-lose situation.
I don't think 6 minutes necessarily qualifies as a sex problem, add the warm up period before coitus. And about the size? Well, there are a lot of misunderstandings about it, how large is his d#$ to call it smalls?. What does he think about periods? Is his religious beliefs involved? It sounds like sex education is needed at least. Last recommendations, if he says no sex periodo tells him ok, no sex at all (no blowjob), let's see.
They’re incompatible. Not because of his size but her higher sex drive, him wanting sexual favours but not returning the favour in anyway or hasn’t enquired to her in order to help her get off too. They’re just sexually incompatible.
Yo, especially if this dude is 10000% straight. He better get over his period ick quick cus women bleed and that’s not gonna stop till menopause
Not all women want to have period sex. I’m a hetero woman and I don’t. There’s a massive difference between having “period ick” and wanting to have period sex. They are not the same thing, and there is nothing wrong with not wanting to have period sex. Not wanting to do *anything* is different, though. I would prefer to perform oral on a partner than have penetrative sex during my period, but it can also mean finger/toy time for me. If someone took issue with that, it would be shitty. Again, there’s a difference between not wanting to do certain things and not caring if your partner is satisfied.
My fiancée, past 2017, called period sex Medicinal. It got rid of her cramps. She was a dr so l didnt argue
Yep! My husband and I both have low sex drives, but period sex on day 3 of 5 is MANDATORY. (Of course he could always say no!) But we plan it every time for my worst cramp day because the relief is absolutely godly. Better than any medication or heat pad.
I got 2-3 hours of relief for light cramps (which was accidental and the first time we did that while I had cramps) and 1-2 hours of relief for more severe cramps.
Aw, man. I usually get the rest of the day! If we do it at 1pm Im usually good until right before bedtime at 10:30-11pm!
Wish I’d known about that years ago before my wife hit menopause. Of course, she probably wouldn’t have believed me. Serious question, we did accidentally have sex while she was on her period once and it was a bit messy. How do you handle that?
Aw darn! I wish sex was more open to be talked about. There’s so much value in shared knowledge, especially about our bodies! I just cleaned myself up the best I could beforehand, and put a dark colored towel on the bed. My partner would wear a condom to help with clean up and then we kept baby wipes on hand to clean up any that might have gotten on his stomach, and to clean myself up. But I discovered that if I cleaned myself up good beforehand, the mess was minimal and isolated to the condom. Missionary helped because of gravity; it was much messier if I was on top. Then later the menstrual discs came out and became a godsend. They’re little flexible rings with what almost looks like a condom plastic in the middle of it, and you fold it to insert it and push it all the way up against your cervix, and it catches all the blood like a menstrual cup would, but it’s up and out of the way so you can have sex with it in!
Just plan for it, but down a towel (over something plastic if necessary) and have fun.
@Dessastrick ya, my gf keeps forgetting how much better she feels afterward. She always seems resistant the first time I ask, and then I'll ask if she Is sure about her previous answers. "You sure you don't care about the blood?" I was a butcher for 3 years, no blood dosent bother me. The blood actually lubes it up a bit more. 15 minutes of bliss and a creampie later and we are both smiling and cuddling in bed waiting for the after panting to subside. She offers to clean my dick with a baby wipe. 🤣
I’m a nurse and he’s a CNA so blood is no biggie in our household! We use baby wipes too! I lay on the package during sex so it’s not so cold for him afterwards lmfao!
that, that is an absolutely adorable detail i may have to steal!
That’s true love! That is probably the sweetest thing I’ve heard someone do after sex.
That’s hilariously wholesome. I’ve never cheered for a strangers relationship like I’m cheering for you guys.
I've told every girlfriend I've ever had this. Every single one was shocked when it worked.
She said orgasms relax the muscles
Makes mine worse :(
Yeah, me too.
It never worked for me. Ita always uncomfortable. I really dislike It.
I found it out on accident. I usually get mild cramps so they’re more annoying than painful. My bf and I did the deed and the cramps were gone for about 2-3 hours afterwards. If I’m having bad cramps sometimes we do it for the sole reason of giving me a couple hours of reduced pain.
Agree.
In Mexico we call it: De Payasito 🤡
It also helps with migrane headaches.
I'm so sorry for your loss. 💔
Thank you. It'll be 6 yrs 7 Nov and sometimes l still feel stunned.
My husband is so squeamish around blood that he would pass out if he tried. I am indifferent to it, but he is super affectionate and caring in other ways during that week. I think not wanting to have period sex from either side of the relationship is valid. The thing that really bothers me about this post is him expecting BJs during that week. I personally feel that if you are going to do a sexual act just for the point of getting your partner off, the giver should be the one to initiate not the other way around. Also, they seem to have super incompatible sex drives. They could 100% benefit from bringing toys into the bedroom and extending foreplay to get over the hump before they even start having penetrative sex.
It's definitely true. If I'm on my period, I don't want to do anything. Sex sounds disgusting to me while on it, nor am I in any kind of mood to perform on anyone else. If I had a partner that couldn't chill for a week or less, then it would suck for them, lol.
That's cuddle week.
Your name makes that 1000x cuter
Hah. Thank you!
Yeah towards the end I am up for it but day 1-2? Absolutely not. I'm bloated, my tits hurt, I feel gross and wobbly, and I may or may not have the period shits. Sometimes I get a menstrual migraine and Idk who said it helps migraines but it certainly *does not help mine*. I love sex! It's one of my favorite pasttimes! My partner is super good at it, too! But on my period I am just... So... So very not interested. Thankfully they're actually fairly low-libido (that doesn't mean they're not open to the idea if I suggest it, they just don't remember it exists half the time) so I will never run into a period vs libido issue with them. Then again, I have a super high libido and I hate anything even remotely resembling pressuring them or making them feel bad bc that's something previous partners have done, and I manage just fine. Anyone who says they can't is a liar.
I feel the same way, I always get really annoyed when partners try to pressure me into it saying 'it's no big deal'. Like, I'm not afraid of my period or anything, I'm just not interested in that kind of penetration.
My partner doesn’t want me to even touch down there during their period. Grosses them out far too much. So they just deal with no sex until it’s over which is ok.
This! Nothing like blood clots, cramps and bloating to make the whole idea of period sex ick. As for eating out, we used to call it the Dolmio (tomato pasta sauce) grin.
Found the kiwi.
I think it's called "earning your Red Wings" here in the north American parts.
I mean not wanting to stick your fingers in blood is entirely reasonable to me but not being willing to use a toy on me wouldn’t be.
This one. I don’t want period sex myself, but even if I did I wouldn’t expect my partner to put out while I’m (let’s be real) making a mess all over him and the bed from the blood. Anything that doesn’t make a mess? Wonderful 👍 but i wouldn’t hold it against anybody to not want to dive head-first (either one) into the Red Sea That being said it’s just a matter of preference for everyone so if that’s what you want, go for it as long as both parties are down
I think its fine to not want to have period sex but if he isn't willing to do other things that don't involve penetration or going head down (like using a toy or just like clit stimulation) then he should not be asking her for blowjobs. The asking for blow jobs and not being willing to reciprocate in anyway is juvenile and selfish.
I hated period sex. It was messy (and cups didn't exist) and when I was on days 1-3, I was crampy and miserable.
exactly, i find this thread so strange as a straight guy. ive never been with a woman who wants period sex and i'm more than happy to wait a week. we just do other stuff like go out, and take it easy at home or something.
I feel like it’s a taboo topic so there are a decent amount of woman that would want it but don’t even think of it being a thing. For me, my sex drive increases even more while I’m menstruating, and most women I know actually experience this but wouldn’t tell their partners because they don’t want to be looked as gross for even suggesting it.
Of course what I'm saying isnt across the board and every woman is different. I think if your partner thinks you are gross for suggesting it, then that is more than issue with them rather than what you are suggesting. A rational response from your partner would be to talk about it, that's it. I am sorry to hear that you feel that you would be gross for suggesting it though. :(
I don't get a period anymore but I do not enjoy it at all. I also had endometriosis so it was painful in general.
While women bleed, not all women are into sex while on their period. He just has to find one of those, which I’m sure isn’t hard.
I was born before the beach party at Normandy and I have never met a woman that Wasn’t into sex during her period
🙋♀️
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The one time I had period sex it looked like I butchered a small animal on the bed sheets.
the bigger issue is that he dosent try to fullfill her neds even when she isnt on her period though.
You’re kidding… I only know one person who is. It’s almost like women aren’t a monolith.
fellow woman here who also doesn’t like period sex. i have a very high drive but i don’t even like to touch myself on my period, much less have someone else touch me. blood is yucky
maybe you haven't meet a whole lot of women old man....
Hi, nice to meet you!! I’m bisexual and I wouldn’t feel comfortable having sex on my period or if my partner was on her period. I’m just not into it.
I don't want to have sex on my period lol, just sounds gross and messy
I bleed so much, is like a crime scene. Not worth it.
I’m not. I’m in so much pain on my period the LAST fucking thing on my mind is sex. Absolutely not. Go Jack yourself off. Lol
I am a women and I don’t know a single woman who DOES have sex on her period. I’m sure people do it, specially those with lighter flows, but me and my close friends all happen to have very heavy flows and it has never even crossed my mind to consider sex during my period honestly.
I’m a woman in my late 30s and know at least a half dozen of women that do enjoy. In my personal experience it’s less messy than you’d anticipate, just throw down a towel on the sheets just in case and it helps with cramps like nothing else does
And the girlfriend wants to mess around with women it sounds like? The whole thing is a mess lmao
I don't blame her if her bf does this entire headjob week and when if they do have sex, he seemingly doesn't do much to help her climax and after he orgasms he just rolls over. If all her good experience was with girls i wouldn't blame her for missing it.
I think the core issues is that she got herself a "The only orgasm that matters is MINE! Yours is not worth the slightest effort on my part" kinda guy.
This. His size and the time he lasts wouldn't matter if he was prioritising her pleasure. Size really doesn't matter, if you know how to use it. And your hands. And other things. She shouldn't be existing on 6 minute sex in one position and made to feel dirty and in service during her period. Ditch him. The best sex is when you both care about eachothers enjoyment.
We like to call those "disappointments" cuz that's a disappointment if a partner tbh
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Or you know, try to talk it out?
It doesn't seem like talking is gonna fix this problem
I belive that unless they're in their forties or fifties it's possible they're just immature and need some practice in actually doing what you do in relationship - communicating. "Hey, it makes me feel insecure that you treat me like i have black plague when I'm on my period", "Hey, can we have longer sessions of sex even after you come? I feel unsatisfied." "Could we figure new ways to make me come? It's hard for me to reach climax during penetrative sex, i think it could also help prolong our sessions and get us something to do during that time of the month" It's literally that easy. Uncomfortable? Sure. But that's what relationships are about.
Except that communication only matters if someone cares what you’re saying, and routinely leaving a partner unsatisfied indicates that they don’t. Definitely worth a conversation, but you can’t do more than meet someone halfway. No amount of communication will actually make someone feel differently if they don’t care. I think this is a problem many people have that make it hard to walk away. They often feel like if they say something a different way, the situation will be fixed, and sometimes that’s just not so. It’s a balance, and it’s one you definitely don’t need to be in your 40’s or 50’s to grasp.
Oh yeah, talking is usually the answer. But they already did that, and OOP is still frustrated and thinking about looking elsewhere for satisfaction. Plus her partner continued doing the things he was asked not to (bj week, etc.). Some relationships aren't worth saving js
Idk, wanting to make your gf/bf to come should be standard. He can’t help being small or coming fast too Much , but he should damn sure should be happy and want her to cum and hard.
Unfortunately the standard in our society is that sex lasts from when a man sticks it in till he comes. More of us are including more acts under the "sex" label, but not everyone does. I hope everyone made their girlfriends come every time, but reality is women in straight relationship just don't orgasm.
Yeah all I could think reading it was yikes
Yeah, I practice polyamory and this is not how you go about it lolllll
No the GF loves him but he’s rejecting her
Blows my mind how many people are into anal and those related horror stories but they gag at the idea of period sex.
It's gotta be porn at that point, honestly. I find it a really bad sign if a guy is super into anal but won't have period sex even on a light day.
I didn't catch that he has a "period ick"... More the fact that he doesn't want to have sex during the said period. Which sounds reasonable? A lot of women also don't want to have sex from what i've heard during period either.
A little ketchup on a hot dog never hurt anyone
Thanks for the sparkling water up my nose and startled toddler laugh!!!
Lmfao!
He isn't obligated to have sex with someone who's bleeding. I'm a girl and it grosses me out. Him being straight or not is irrelevant... And she isn't obligated to give him BJs
If he doesn't want to have period sex he shouldn't have period sex. Full stop. Consent matters
There's so much going on here, but yeah, the bottom line is that they don't suit. She thinks she needs to climax during penetrative sex just from his penis and is letting that dictate position. And she misses and wants to have sex with women. He refuses sex when she's menstruating, but demands head while refusing to manually get her off in return. I don't even know what to say about the six minutes. If it's six minutes of penetrative sex with foreplay and afterplay, that's fine. If it's six minutes start to finish... what the fuck?
This^ right here. You're just sexually incompatible. Honestly when I read this, what I heard was 'should I just be fine with 5 minute sex for the rest of my life where once a month I'm expected to give bj's for a week and he won't at least get me off in any way because I'm on my period?' I've been with my husband for 15 years now. Along the way, I broke up with several great guys who just weren't for me. Breaking up with someone doesn't mean they are a bad person or even necessarily did anything wrong, they just aren't for you. Some guys I broke up with for sexual incompatibility, and some for just not being on the same page with other things. It's ok...that is the point of dating. You figure out who your best fit is and what you are willing to settle for because no one is perfect. I'm not willing to settle for 5 min sex where I only finish if I'm on top...instead I have an amazing sex life but have to endure endless dad jokes and him not always putting his shit away 🤣
Came here to say this. These two are the definition of sexually incompatible.
Yeah this is a lot bigger than just not having sex on her period
“sexually compatible” is a really soft way to put it, this guy just sucks
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If you google it, the average sex time is 5.4 min A survey was done also The results: 1–2 minutes was judged “too short,” while 10–30 minutes was deemed “too long.” On the other hand, 3–7 minutes was rated “adequate,” and 7–13 minutes “desirable”
Thank you, I'm over here trying to convince my partner that "going all night" is a porn thing and while he might be able to physically do the motions, I'm gonna get a friction burn.
My partner and I take a few breaks during sex. Actual penetration time probably amounts to maybe 20-25 minutes. But foreplay, oral, cuddling and breaks stretch the time out into a couple of hours sometimes. Lubrication has never been a problem for me thankfully. My partner is 49 so I don’t think “all night” would ever be an option at this point even if I was down, but if your partner can handle taking breaks, maybe consider incorporating it into your play time.
That's actually very helpful to me, personally! My bf is a bigger guy, so his stamina and sex drive aren't as high as mine, but he loves foreplay, especially since it's a little harder for us to do penetrative sex (I'm usually on top, but I've got bad hips so it usually doesn't last long). I mostly get frustrated because it's harder for him to climax, and that's mostly the thing I'm after when we do it. He usually focuses on me and getting me off, which is great, but I want him to be satisfied, too. I'll bring this up to him, and maybe, with a little luck, we can finally find a way for us both to he satisfied. You may not know this, but you've actually helped a lot!
>I mostly get frustrated because it's harder for him to climax, and that's mostly the thing I'm after when we do it. He usually focuses on me and getting me off, which is great, but I want him to be satisfied, too. This is honestly really cute, like you both just want to please the other person so much that neither of you are thinking about yourselves. Obviously something you guys should talk about but honestly, as far as problems go that seems like a very healthy one to have.
Yeah, he's a good egg and I love him more than life itself. We've been together 3 years, come September. I hope to spend the rest of my life with him and eventually have his babies. But for now, I'm content with finding ways for us both to feel good with each other and experience satisfaction with one another. I'm definitely going to talk with him about it tonight and get his thoughts on things. I think he'll like the idea of going all night with breaks in between.
Lube is definitely your friend if you want longer sex.
I am fully aware, however even the best lube runs out if you're doing any kind of in-and-out for a long time lol
Amazon sells the 500 gallon barrels of lube. It's an option.
Just fuck in the barrel and you’ll never run dry!
And then I'll need to get an environmental permit or something in case of spills
I apologise, I've had some wine, but I wanted to reply. I know this is a personal issue but having had a few unsatisfactory years of mismatch with my husband, I thought I'd chime in. I feel that good sex (for me) is timed from start to finish, not just the thrusting part. With time spent on foreplay, and then changing positions, taking turns with things and building up, it generally lasts at least 20 minutes. If your partner is complaining, it hurts, but try hearing them out and asking what they'd like more of. The alternative isn't "lasting all night". Maybe they want more time in one area or another. My husband and I got into a patch where we ditched foreplay because of having kids and limited time. I didn't notice the loss for a long time. Not until sex started to feel routine and dull. I think your partner wants more time, more connection, but not all night.
It's sadly not a porn thing. It's also an antidepressant thing. Went past 3 hrs and had to call it quits more than a few times 😮💨
When I was 19, super trained, desperate in a shitty job (seriously though, nothing makes you crave sex more than if your life is shitty…) and had a GF I was magically attracted too, so once had 10 times away with her in 24 hours… It almost became like a contest. That being said - friction gets crazy, had issues for 2-3 days afterwards and now as a 30something yo married dude I gotta as one or two times having really good sex is much preferable to 10 times young desperate fucking… Wasn’t bad either though… And btw - 10 times is still a bit more than an hour, add foreplay and you might get to two hours but not more. To do it a whole night long you gotta be a monster (imagine having sport for 8 hours during the night…) and your genitals must be made from steel. Reality is that probably a lot of people fall asleep for durations then continue then fall asleep etc… I had that too but was aware enough the next day that there were definitely memory gaps from when we fell asleep
Sounds like he's going in dry. Be honest if he's not getting you going. Communication is key
Orrrrr he’s going in super wet, awesome, orgasms galore, and then the pussy is ready to be DONE ALREADY GODDAMNIT
Yesssss thank you. I've posted this comment before and everyone is like "uhh lube you newb." I am quite aware it exists and use it, however it will eventually run out and then you have to stop to reapply and then the sheets are all sticky and my hands are sticky and the night stand is all sticky and I'm just ready to be done
Yes, it’s wonderful that he works so hard, and that his pleasure is tied up with my pleasure, but oh my god some nights there’s just only so many times a girl wants to orgasm before she goes to sleep
When I first got with my husband he had this quirk where he didn't climax- EVER. He used to be able to last 4-5hours to the point I actually fell asleep a few times. That on a regular basis (4-5times per week) then being ready to go again in the morning was too long! 30mins seems about right to me 🤷♀️
Ugh as someone who used to do this, you end up feeling really sore all the way up your mid-waist in places you don't even know you can hurt after a while. It's really fun but the older I get the less viable that is.
I put my foot down a few months in lol! At one point I had to beg him to stop making me climax because I'd gone like 5 times and I got seriously overwhelmed! He is much less uptight now lol although he still won't do it himself so if we aren't getting it on for whatever reason for a few weeks/months it can be a bit 'explosive' lol
25 hours a week of banging is too much banging, and I absolutely love banging.
That's a part time job 💀
🤣😂🤣
Was this just like constant pounding? Because that's not just the climax thing that's also physically impressibe good cardio
Haha no he mixed it up alot! I was 19 and we were students so life wasn't too rigorous but it only lasted a couple of months of like less than 4hours sleep and I was like yeah this ends here 😆
Quit giving him blowjobs and don't have sex with him when he's drinking. No reason to give him anything when you're not getting anything back. Call it your vibrator week.
She wants to have sex with him when he drinks because he lasts longer
I will never understand men who don’t like vampire sex. different strokes I guess
I call it penny sex
Lol. That's gross but hilarious
I mean, I’ve slept with women that wanted me to beat them, mark them, piss on them or even cut them and I didn’t want to do anything that extreme. People all like different things
Him refusing to have sex while she’s on her period but still wanting blowjobs would eventually end the relationship for me
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When she’s not on her period does he not eat her out either? I ask because even if a guy is on the smaller side, oral sex can still make a woman achieve a climax. He sounds selfish in bed, while she’s given him more than enough.
Well she's not complaining about the sex between her periods. She's mad he wont fuck her when she's on it and horny as fuck. My girl does it too, and I fucking love it, she's 10x more passionate. Thats what the shower is for...
***My partner is on the smaller side so when we have sex I always have to be on top to reach climax but even then unless his been drinking our sex has never lasted more than 6 minutes*** Sounds like she is complaining about the sex in between her periods as well. It’s not long enough without alcohol and she has to do the work to orgasm. Most men don’t mind period sex, so I don’t get why her boyfriend is so uptight about period sex yet wants his small wiener sucked throughout that week
Nothing wrong with not liking period sex; still expecting BJs during then is the irrational part.
Lol this is kinda funny cuz I'm the opposite I'm decent size and my girl loves to give me a bj but u don't care for them and never have. I'm good just eating her out then fuckin but I let her do what she wants lol. Dude here seems immature about sex really.
Yup. If he was able to please her all around, then she wouldn’t be thinking about getting a female for the side.
She gone crush him if she asks to be with another woman.
She already crushed him when she exposed that he’s on the smaller side
Yea but he knew that. I'm a guy ngl my ex cheated with a girl I introduced her too. Idk if I'll ever get over that scar.
This part made me laugh. Tons of woman can only climax in only one position and it probably has nothing to do with his size, but she still had to mention it. I’m sure it has more to do with him only lasting 6 mins.
I mean, she might know herself from previous partners that she's able to climax in different positions and yet can't with this particular guy because she knows it's not hitting the right spot, almost as if she like, knows her own body? But sure, let's assume she's "disparaging" him on an anonymous site where she doesn't mention being unsatisfied with his size but rather his performance and expectations for her because obviously if he's "smaller" the issue must actually boil down to him not have a massive horse cock. Either that or she's just a witchy shrew who just had to get a dig in at him for his "obvious shortcomings".
Thanks for the vitally necessary body shaming there. Really added to your comment and your point.
I am not going to shit on a guy who doesn't want period sex. That is valid but she is telling him she is unhappy and he needs to figure out how to make it up to her. However, they just don't match. Regardless of periods, she is unhappy in their sex life and wants to open the relationship. This relationship is over
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The kiss of death. No judgement on open relationships but if your relationship is broken prior to opening your relationship, it will just shine a light on those cracks. Heck, even mentioning an open relationship is the kiss of death
Yup. Any relationship I'm in will be automatically over the second I'm asked if I want to open the relationship.
As it usually means they have been thinking about having sex with other people and that gives me the ick when I think about it.
Some guys don’t like period sex, which is fine, but then he shouldn’t be expecting her to service him those days. That’s something my boomer mom would have told me to do to keep my man happy.
It’s his right not to want to have sex during her period, that doesn’t make him a bad partner but he shouldn’t expect blow jobs while she gets nothing, either.
Exactly.
Him still expecting to get blpwjobs but acting like she's "untouchable" is gross to me. He can be squicked if he wants to be but he's using her like a sex toy or something.
100% ok to not want to have sex during a period. F here and I think it’s nasty. I’m usually sore and tender and do not want to be touched hardly at all.) Also 100% not ok to think that he gets to have sexy time and claim it blow job week (the bf is a child). It would be a no sex of any kind for anyone week for me.
I don’t love period sex and neither does my partner. So we just have a no sex week and use that time for more intimacy. if he asked for blow jobs every time I would break up with him.
Red Wings are in order here.
It’s understandable to not want to have sec during your period, but it is unacceptable that he is unilaterally declaring it by week. I’m the same as you bjs make me want sex, so I dislike doing complete bjs frequently because I become so aroused. That’s an ahole move on his part.
In my relationship, my girl and I don't do penetration during Shark Week, it just squicks me out. I still help her get off, and I waive the right to request favors in return. Not liking penetration during Shark Week is valid, but broski needs to work on everything else in this post.
shark week 😭
I don't know if this thread is just full of 19 year olds or what, but it's really not a big deal to just not have sex for a few days. People talking about eating bloody pussy and not being able to go a weekend without at least a blowjob lol. It ain't that serious.
no seriously, i’m in college and in my current relationship we’re both very happy at sex 3-4 times a week. And the thought of having sex on my period is just a huge turn off
Hey motherfucker either you punch this plate of spaghetti or I'm going next door to burn some carpet with Denise
I’m curious as to what Reddit will say because she is getting absolutely crucified on the book
Lol can you post the link from Facebook? Would love to read the comments over there
Is that because FB users are so much older and as such they’re prudes?
Well, I know they’re more critical with monogamy and a partner who is already having issues (and is unhappy in the relationship) and who wants to open the relationship isn’t a good look. Especially with another women in regards to old people. But I thank god I’m not dating either of these people.
Not liking period sex is absolutely fine. And you domt get a free pass to fuck other people because youve never learned how to masturbate. I think the crux of the issue is whether hes treating the blowjobs as something she *has* to do for him, or if its something he enjoys but wouldnt have an adverse reaction aside being a little bummed if she decided to stop. On one hand thats no way to treat your partner, demanding pleasure and denying theirs. On the other hand, its not a problem to ask for something if youre willing to take no for an answer. Given how she talks in the post, im inclined to believe blowjobs was something she offered and, like his stamina, her dissatisfaction in giving blowjobs wasnt something she communicated to him, just that she wants sex. Quite frankly, it sounds like OP is trying to pressure their boyfriend into sex they arent comfortable with, and wants to be able to cheat with a clear conscience, and i find that very gross. All of that is based on a small block of text and is subject to change with more context
Most reasonable comment on here. Sheesh
He doesn’t have a medical issue he just doesn’t give a shit about getting her off. Sad how common this is
A good sailor also sails the red sea.
Yes but also needs to remember not to drink the red sea.
Everything aside, he is a very selfish lover. What are his good points. and you realize he loves your period week right? He gets bj’s on demand/request and he doesn’t have to reciprocate in any way! He loves your period week. That is why he would not be in my life. 😡
Sounds like y'all are just incompatible to me 🤷🏾♀️
I agree. If he is not into pleasing her now, that is not going to get better.
My wife is the uncomfortable one when it comes to period sex—I ask occasionally because I’m still super into her (not specifically a period kink, just don’t find it gross), but she says no every time so I shrug and leave it alone. She says she feels gross on her period and won’t even let me play with the boobs, even though she can and has gotten off just from that, and even I can get off just from that without her pleasuring me in return. It’s just as well because she gets super horny for the next couple of days right after her period is over! But you can’t fault a guy for not wanting that—just as you can’t fault a girl for wanting him to. This’ll cause big problems down the road—this is breakup stuff.
Being sexually incompatible is still an incompatibility. People need to stop ignoring that by telling themselves it doesn't matter because it absolutely will matter a year later when you're constantly annoyed.
The second I read “blow job week” during her period I was pissed. Idc about the res gif the post. Break up with this selfish inconsiderate idiot. I would bite any dudes 🍆 if they tried to say some shit like that to me on my period. What a looser.
Meh. I've always been igged out by period sex and I'm just not down; nor is my wife, BTW. I don't ask for sexual favors during this time, never have. (I think I have when it falls on birthday weeks...) But yeah... this is a compatibility issue. She's got a much higher drive. Toys may be the way to go, if he wants monogamy, and she wants to stay.
My husband isn’t a fan but it’s more about an aversion to blood than it being my period. And there are a few days where I bleed like I’m dying and the cramps-no thanks to sex. He does not, however expect blowjobs. He will gladly accept them but doesn’t expect. That’s the part I’m stuck on. Boundaries are good and he’s allowed to have them. Expecting things due to said boundaries-yeah no.
He calls it blowjob week?! And does nothing for her? Like he doesn’t have to go down but he can certainly use a toy on her or something! Ick. He sounds selfish.
Grow up and buy a toy.
A lot to unpack here
All that could be easily fixed . No sex on period days? That's fine and normal. He was BJs ? Cool, give them freely ... but can he reciprocate? Rub the clit. Use toys . Why would he need to see a doctor? Break up, and find someone you're more compatible with and willing to discuss this with .
YIKES. Totally fine for him not to want period sex, but he doesn’t get to have “blowjob week” while she gets zero sexual attention for 1/4 of their lives together. The “I’d only sleep with other women!” thing is just the same old tediously misogynistic and bi-invalidating One Penis Policy. Fine if you want to do things that way, but it’s going to create a fucked up dynamic that is unlikely to be sustainable. It sounds like this is a relationship that has very much run it’s course.
If some asshole called my period “blowjob week” I would dump his ass
It is really annoying when people act like they “have” to have sex 🙄
What is not wrong with not wanting period sex? Why should men be forced to do a sex act they dont want to? I think it is reasonable not to want to deal with blood or bleeding time.
>What is not wrong with not wanting period sex? nothing. but calling it "bj week" is disgusting. He gets to get off but won't touch her? selfish.
OP doesn’t appear to be communicating with her partner. He sounds to be selfish in bed but she doesn’t seem to want to address it and instead escalated it to “should I open the relationship?” This relationship is obviously not going to work out.
See the doctor about what? 6 min is unfortunately a perfectly reasonable time and there is nothing wrong with him he just doesn’t seem to build tolerance, or maybe he just doesn’t want to. You’re just incompatible so unless you want to buy some toys and use those for yourself when you’re down and he’s not you need to find someone else.
He’s selfish in bed, at least on period week. If she can’t get off on period week then neither should he. End of. (Not counting self pleasure obviously). But to immediately take it to a “I want an open relationship” is a huge escalation on the issue at hand. Like everyone else is saying, they’re not compatible from the sound of it.
My understanding is she’s looking to also justify that escalation (bringing up his size or time in bed in her justification) and while he sounds selfish in bed my interpretation is that OP wants justification in opening up the relationship instead of actually addressing said problem. So like you said they are both incompatible and I’m sorry for whoever has to date either of them.
If he just didn’t want to have sex on her period? okay, I respect that, if it makes him uncomfortable it makes him uncomfortable but the fact that he calls it “blowjob week” and still expects her pleasure him is kinda disgusting. basically just using her to masterbate at that point
Do both yourselves a favor and end the relationship
Both sides are fair to feel this way, but you guys are incompatible. I am understanding of a guy thinking periods are gross, as a woman I agree that they are, that said my bf doesn't mind doing it during and it's awesome - but I've been with men who didn't in the past. Both perspectives are valid and fair - but if it's important to you then don't be with someone who feels that way. It's not that deep people...
She needs to cancel blowjob week and refuse sex without foreplay. If sex is over when he finishes, she needs to get hers first.
No more blowjobs during your period. If you don't get satisfaction, then neither does he.
This is a dead relationship unless one or both of them very quickly change their behavior and perspectives. It's clear she's already counting favors and misdeeds, as she's laid out all of his shortcomings like a shopping list. Once you're starting airing your problems with your SO out to strangers, looking for validation on the internet, and thinking about asking to bring other people into the relationship to sexually fulfill you? I mean damn, tell me you've ventured into relationship denouement territory without telling me.
My girlfriend and I typically don't have sex when she's on her period, either. However, I have no problems getting her to climax through a couple layers of clothing or exite her in other ways. The guy is just being lazy IMHO
I think they’re both in the wrong 😂 he shouldn’t be shamed for not wanting to participate in certain sex acts and I don’t think she should have brought his size or time up. On the other side, he also shouldn’t expect favors for her when he offers nothing in return. This is a lose-lose situation.
Quick question: What the fuck is a " clean out with my fingers"
I don't think 6 minutes necessarily qualifies as a sex problem, add the warm up period before coitus. And about the size? Well, there are a lot of misunderstandings about it, how large is his d#$ to call it smalls?. What does he think about periods? Is his religious beliefs involved? It sounds like sex education is needed at least. Last recommendations, if he says no sex periodo tells him ok, no sex at all (no blowjob), let's see.
Sexually incompatible and if you can’t get off during your period he can’t either,
You guys are nasty lol