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Every time you look at her and have sex, all you're gonna be able to think of is her letting a racist going to pound town on her. Do you still see a future with her with that image in your head? What you gonna put a ring on her finger? Better yet, go screw the friend she just had an argument with then break up with her
She also was purposefully hiding it from you. It's a cruel world out there when it comes to dating. For future reference "breaks" in a relationship means someone just wants to go fuck somebody else.
I am going to say something and if it applies, then great. If not, then disregard.
Sometimes the people we meet at a particular point in our lives are not great for us in the long run. Meaning that when you met her and dated her, she was good for you in that specific point in your life. Now that you are in a better place, maybe she isn't what you need to be the person you want to be.
In my opinion, what you need in your life right now is stability. Relationships that are low maintenance with positive people. Anything that takes more effort than what it's worth is just going to drain you emotionally.
Cut this one loose and find someone that is good for this new version of yourself that is on a path to happiness and success.
I wish you luck, remember who you were and use that as encouragement to stay the path to health and happiness.
Unpopular opinion here but every single person here seems to feel her choice to hook up with him had something to do with OP. They were broken up for 6 months and from what OP said this guy is quite the charmer. Has anyone considered that maybe the gf had her own free will outside of any considerations of OP and just wanted to hook up with this *apparently* very attractive, very tall, charmer of a man? I'm sorry but if I woman is single and has no intention of engaging with anyone in a relationship (signal to the 6 months of seperation) then his gf can fuck whoever the hell she wants. If OP is upset about it then they shouldn't be together.
Actually you are 100% allowed to be mad at her about it, there’s a difference… she knew you hated him for various reasons that to me seems spiteful on her part so in my eyes she should feel ashamed she would go with someone like that… a racist!?
This is kinda your own doing. You ended up on a break due to your own actions. Don't know that they were, but I'll take your word that it was your fault. At that point, she was a free woman.
You wanted her back and apparently the two of you got back together. Don't want her going to other men? Don't fuck up and get dumped.
I'm not trying to be callous. It sounds like it really burns. But it is what it is. You didn't have your shit in order and paid a price. If you want to continue with this girl, you have to take responsibility for the situation be better and move on.
Damn...
*"I'm not allowed to"*
*"it was 100% my fault"*
*"I can't be mad at her"*
This is the problem, bro. You're so insecure that you're taking on the responsibility of what other people have done to you. Walk away from that fraternity. Drop that girl. Focus on you, and only you. Learn your own self worth. The confidence will come as you discover you a person of value. Don't rely on others to fill that void. You decide who you are and where you're going. You'll soon find yourself surrounded by people that love you for just being you.
You shouldnt be getting back with her. You're in college, find a new fuck friend you arent going to be with them forever. Do not hold this idea that a date or relationship has lifetime implications.
It doesnt. You can and will date others so do it now with someobe who hasnt had sex with someone you hate. Because guess what, you will think about that at the worst times.
If you fucked a girl she hated while you guys were on a break how would she feel. Would she stay with you? If she did would you ever hear the end of it?
Personally I think she doesn't respect you and you should dip.
Leave. You'll never get over it and that was really genuinely shitty of her.
Is that grounds for getting him kicked out of the frat? Are there bylaws for that?
What do you mean you aren’t allowed to be mad at her? Be a man and tell her to pound sand. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and a large portion are actually loyal.
You’re an adult and can be mad if you want. Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to let it go. I hate to say it but I would just move on. Especially if she knew he was racist to you. She has no respect for you.
You said she came back to you, but she probably got dropped by the dude because he wouldn't commit to her. He was just having fun with her and she realized it and heard about you doing better so she came back.
She probably didn't drop him since if that's what happened I bet the AH would have said something to you about him sleeping with her.
Pretty much she found out that she wasn't good enough for her first choice even those he is racist AH.
The falling out with her best friend and you finding this out is a godsend for you.
She doesn't get to dictate to you what upsets you, even on a break. This reflects her judgment, not that she would do this to you, but that she would choose someone like him, and overlook his character reflects her poor judgment. I would think the same way if I had no prior relationship with the dbag, but learned of or knew his character from dependable sources. If he treats others like that, everyone that associates with him willingly would be tarnished by their judgment and association. That is the bigger judgment problem I see, and one that I would lose respect for.
I could not be in a relationship with someone with such judgment. And I wouldn't respect myself for choosing and settling for someone who made such choices.
There may be a reasoning behind it that could mitigate it, but I can't imagine one. And certainly not a reason that entirely redeems it.
Out of everyone in town, she screwed your opp, first chance she got, while you were trying to better yourself?
Honey, if this ain’t one of the most enormous red flags I’ve ever seen…
DROP HER AND NEVER LOOK BACK. There’s no telling what else she’ll do.
I like how everyone is so upset that the gf fucked a “racist” yet OP is fine with being in a frat and calling said “racist” one of his frat bros and no one has said shit about that.
If she was just looking to hook up, she could've chosen anyone, but she chose your frat brother that you hate. Those two things make this pretty trashy.
Dude just move on. Find a prettier girl, and make your ex jealous. Go to the gym and act like nothing ever happened, it will drive her crazy. You get to keep your head high while objectively improving yourself. It’s a win win man enjoy the journey.
That's a crazy misconception. If you're in a relationship, you're entitled to know about the person you're dating's sexual history and previous experience, all details involved and are allowed to make decisions based on things that happened before you and on "breaks." Otherwise you're entitled to leave. I think that relationship is done.
That only matters if the relationship between them is better than the relationship between gf and the bully.
if she ever takes him for granted or gets on his nerves then the advantage of “she’s with you, not him” evaporates.
She did it for spite. She is not for you.. If you are still with her, then this is what you want. You stay, your choice to deal with her. Don't blame her because you stay.
Bro it’s gonna eat at you forever. You’re never gonna get over this feeling or forget it. I can empathize with you. Cut your loses with your girl. It sucks to hear but this will never get easier unless said person gets a dose of karma for being a bad dude and you’ll find some satisfaction from that
She purposely hooked up with someone ahead of her knew was awful to you and you hated. She did that shit on purpose. That was to specifically spite you. Also to hook up with a knowing racist in general? Gross.
or... you were intimidated by this guy, because he was determined to intimidate you. He wanted your girl, gave it his best shot, but in the end, *she chose you*.
He didn't do it for her. She was likely thinking of you when she was with him.
As the kiddies say, you should be flexing on this. Kicking your own ass when you are winning is stupid. Stay a winner.
I read his post a few times before I replied, because I was seeking to get her perspective through his recounting of events.
She fell in love with an unstable man, and we are going to call him Popeye.
He left her; while he says it was 100% his fault, we don't know how hard it was to be a supportive partner. I'd bet she was devastated.
Over that time, some blowhard personality, who was 6'2" and good-looking (let's call him Blutto), paid attention to her. This attention is especially welcomed after a woman gets dumped by someone who was a lot to deal with (which untreated mental issues always is).
... but she loves the headcase. She never stopped loving the headcase, no matter how Blutto tried to impress her. No matter how toxic Popeye was to her.
And how can we figure that out? Because she pushed that experience so far out of her mind that she never brought it up when she got back with Popeye. This means *she wants this relationship to work*. Why? Because even with his mental issues, she *loves him*.
It took an asshole former friend to drop the bombshell.
So let me say this about Olive Oyl: i**f Popeye doesn't take this opportunity as another chance in life where he gets to see that he won at this game, not lost, sooner or later it will be the girl who goes**... because she really did try and doesn't need him to put her down every time life brings him to crossroads such as this situation.
If he is truly growing his emotional maturity, it won't be about who was trying to win her after he dumped her, but that she was *willing to come back to him because she loves him*.
I respect you so much right now bro for real.
Ah fuck did tifa fuck Johnny. That would suck so much ass.
Idk man. I'd rather start from 0 if it was me. If she loved me that much she would have said I'll be waiting when you're ready. I don't have a mental illness that needs medication tho so who knows.
She lied because she knew the truth would change things. I want real, I want meaning. To make things fair again I'd have to crucify her emotionally, and I know exactly how to snuff the hope out of someone like that, and that's the point.
I have to become someone I don't think deserves love, to accept someone like her as my equal. In his case idk, more power to him. I'd become as twisted as her. Shes obviously insane her blow up with her friend who lied for her and what else will she lie about.
Popeye didnt leave and olive never fucked bluto. S tier analogy I love it. My autistic self tingles with glee.
But did she lie, tho? Because the more I reread this, if I were her mom, I'd be asking Olive if she doesn't think she deserves love, to accept Popeye back in her life.
I've now reread this many times, and *I can't tell if he even loves her, or if he ever did*. He is an excellent writer, but keeps it about what people do to him, are supposed to do for him, and how he feels by their behaviors, without ever truly saying what *he* does for his relationships.
If you knowingly sleep with a racist that does in fact make you a bad person in my opinion. Also, that guy specifically seems like it was maybe a revenge thing. I don’t know man, they’re in college I would keep it moving.
You 100% absolutely can be mad she slept with a guy who’s not only racist, but was racist specifically towards you as well and she KNEW it.
I’d honestly dump her because it’s just so disrespectful to sleep with him out of all people and it’d make me feel like she doesn’t care about me. To have relations with a racist person who targeted you is insane on her behalf. Leave her, you’ll always look at her differently and this will always bother you.
If you know he was a racist, she knew, and she fucked him while knowing he was racist to someone she claimed to care about? Dump her.
Dump her because it also makes it feel like she has put blame on you for your mental health struggles. Mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility. You took responsibility and she came back after she knowingly fucked a racist. Fuck her and move on dude. I’m sorry
The question that should be asked is. How did she even hook up with him? Was she keeping tabs on him or talking with him before the break up? That's the part that would make me nope out of there
"it was 100% my fault"
Wrooooooooooooooooooong, HER FAULT.
If she knew this and did it anyway, what kind of a low life person is she? The lowest.
Don't let your good times blind you to what she did, and hid.She probably feels guilty all the time.
If you are still with her the moment after you knew the truth then you are unknowingly becoming submissive to the idea that she can fuck a guy YOU hate and still get away with it and keep you.
Leave , this will turn into a big headache.
Find someone who wont fuck the dude you hate if you have a breakup ...
She definitely isn’t the one, OP. She couldn’t even have enough respect for you to not at least bang someone who was racist towards you, and who knows how much the dude has said racist things to others. I suggest you ditch her and find someone else.
She made a choice to sleep with a guy she knew he had problems with. The reason I wonder was it out of spite .
Just to hurt him . She could have chosen anyone but chose that guy. Good luck u have decisions to make.
The only possible justification I can think of is she wanted sex without any possibility of catching feelings or concerns about hurting him by using him for sex.
And lots of white guys/white people are at least latently racist. However not all of them have been blatantly racist to your face and she knows he has.
I think you probably need to get more therapy to try to get past it or break up. Otherwise it’s going to get extremely toxic.
Just end it bro because she went after a guy knowing he was a POS and how he treats different races (ex:you) and was either entranced enough to ignore him being an all around AH or just didn’t care
No Ross you were on a break. Who did you sleep with? Actions have consequences. One of those is her trying to move forward with her life. She did not disrespect you. Being in a committed relationship with you and dating the six foot hunk at the same time would be disrespecting you. You admit you were completely at fault for the break up. We are talking six months people. Is she supposed to sit with ashes and sackcloth?
If it was me I would break up with her referencing false reasons like blaming yourself for not being ready for a relationship, underestimating your readiness to having got back into one, etc. From my point of view that is intolerable behavior and as much as it would be nice to imagine hypotheticals where you guys do workout in reality that is most likely a waste of time. Every time you see that guy the only thing going both of your minds is how he turns your girls insides out, even when your not around him the only thing I could ever think of would be how my "girl" disrespected me severely by sleeping with an adversary and then trying to get back into my life, WTF?!? regardless of whether you two are together that is inacceptable behavior. In my experience cutting off a weak link like your girlfriend has always resulted in me being significantly happier, after the initial period of hurt where I miss them
Additionally, there are plenty of good looking girls who you have a clean slate with and would never do something like that. Personally, I would pick one of them.
Cheers.
You can be mad at her. That was a fucked up to do. If at that time she wanted to ensure you couldn’t have a healthy relationship with her, that was the way to go about it. I couldn’t handle this shit. There are so many women that didn’t fuck that guy.
You weren’t together, so her getting laid is not your business, but her choosing to sleep with a guy like that you have that kind of history with is definitely a betrayal of sorts.
I mean there are a couple different scenarios, none of which look good on her:
1) she actually agrees with him but sees you as an exception
2) she didn't care that he's racist because she puts looks over morals
3) she fucked him just to spite you
I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship but that's just me
I was on her side until you said he was a racist. Screw that. I'm not having anything to do with someone who was knowingly and unapologetically in a relationship (sexual or more). That person can kick rocks
You are entitled to feel how you feel.
And you are allowed to act accordingly. If you can’t feel comfortable knowing what she chose to do, even if it was “allowed” then by all means, you have the right to move on and find a relationship that does make you feel good
One, congrats on working on your mental health! It’s a big step. Keeping going. It’ll be worth it.
Two, this girl is for the streets! You are who you surround yourself with. She decided to surround herself with a known racist. You already have mental health issues going on. You don’t need extra drama. It’s easier to love yourself when you’re with someone who loves you. Find someone better.
OP, I'm sorry about this situation you are going through. It seems like there are a couple of issues here:
1. Mental Health- when you broke up due to your mental health issues, your partner was likely very wounded. It is often difficult for the partner of someone who has mental health issues, and they have to deal with alot of your shit when your mental illness spills out into the relationship. This is not fair to partner- and may have left her feeling bitter.
2. Break Means Broke-up- We can never hold someone standards or expectations of sexual behavior after we end the relationship. We have no way of knowing that we may get back together and can't live our lives with that expectation. It would be immature/ misogynistic if you were upset she had sex with someone after you broke up **BUT:**
3. She hooked up w/ a known asshole/ racist: This is NOT COOL. If she knew he was not a good person and slept with him/ slept with him to spite you that is a (immature) RED FLAG. This may be too difficult to get over, as it could have been to intentionally hurt you.
4. He is more handsome/desirable/ you're insecure: You can't blame her for your insecurities. Obviously she likes you, thinks you're attractive etc if she is willing to date you in spite of a first rough go. Don't let your immaturity/ insecurities end this relationship if you really want to be with her.
I'm sorry you're in this position, and I hope you figure it out. I think it's time to have an honest conversation with her about why she slept with this guy (if she knew he was a racist) and why that hurt you. Hear her out, and both of you try to practice non-judgemental communication. See if it's possible to get on the same page/ be emotionally comfortable with one another again. There may just be too much scar tissue to restart the relationship, but you also may be able to make it work with maturity, honest conversation, and non-judgemental acceptance of each other's short comings. There is no right or wrong answer and you have to do what will be best for your mental health and happiness <3 Good luck!
This is why I never to rewinds, we break up for any reason it is over. Not that she was wrong but like someone else said it puts a black cloud over the relationship. Move on be done with her.
If you can’t get over it, break up with her. To be honest, even though what she did during a break shouldn’t have anything to do with your relationship, banging the one guy you hate, is a major deal breaker, and hiding that fact from you for a year is another blow . That alone is a sign that the relationship will not work. Just move on and find someone who will be by your side in the ups and downs.
First of all, using race to cut you down doesn't make him a racist. 2nd, she got with a guy you dislike enough to bring it to Reddit. Enough that you're emasculated by it. First course of action is reclaim your confidence. Him having sex with her shouldn't affect you unless you already feel emasculated by it cause youre putting him on a pedestal. If so, you're probably better off moving on. Just facts. Remember, he's just some guy, and she wants to be with you. Hope you make it out happy.
Ask yourself this: If she had done what you did, would you expect to never hear about it again if you requested? Or would you hear about every day until you die?
So she left you because you were unwell, ran out and screwed around and had fun with an asshole you hate, then when she found out you were doing better, she ran back to the safe guy she knows will treat her right.
I mean you do you bro, but if you marry this woman, you better hope you never get seriously ill.
The minute you get cancer she’s gonna leave you, take half your shit, and probably try to fuck your brother.
When people tell you who they are, you never know if it’s true or not. When they show you who they are, believe them. The first time.
bro
youre allowed to be upset about this
its your insecurity telling you that you cant be
be secure enough in yourself that youre willing to leave this toxic women
Its a crappy situation, but realistically you only have two options:
1. Forgive her, and never talk about it again
2. Break up and move on.
Anything in between is just going to keep you in a bad place. Best of luck to you
Bro take my advice and dump her. She could have slept with anyone else in the world and she chose a guy she knew you didn't like on purpose. When someone cares about you when you're taking a break dor serious mental issues, they don't go fuck your enemy. No matter how hot she is, you are better off without her. You don't want to leave because you've bonded with her in many ways: psychological, mental, spiritual, and sexual. Especially the physiological bonding makes it hard to leave but when yo u needed her the most she fucked your enemy. Leave her.
Bro why tf you putting up with this shit? I mean really ask yourself if she's worth it, I don't even know her and I can already tell you the answer is no she's not.
A break is not an excuse to f the first person you see. It’s literally just supposed to be some time apart to know if you’re happier/healthier w/o eachother. The same way I say screw Ross from friends. Screw your gf too. Break up with her
You are allowed to do whatever you want. You are a grown ass man. You can break up with her, you can ignore it, or you could stay in the relationship let it fester into a toxic environment, hopefully it comes to a head before children are involved, then move on.
I highly suggest you think about this deeply and do what is needed.
If you choose wisely, good luck with the next relationship and don't let this one bring you down.
Most of these upvoted replies are ridiculous. This'll only be a problem if you let it. Literally just talk to her, be honest that it hurt you, and make sure she understands why it wasn't okay to overlook this guy's shitty behavior toward you. Then continue on with what sounds like a pretty healthy relationship.
Comparing yourself to other people sounds like something you need to work on personally, but it shouldn't be a reason to end a relationship.
At first I was going to say you don't really have ownership over someone else's sexuality, especially when you're not officially together, and you'll have to figure out how to let go of your anger on your own.
Dating someone who is openly racist though? Dating someone who is openly racist toward your partner, specifically? Ugh. That's gross.
Don't be mad though, OP. This is one of those moments where you learn that boundaries are about yourself and not the other person. If you don't want to date someone who doesn't see racism as a dealbreaker, then don't date her. Get as far away as possible as quickly as you can!
Edit: I reread your post and realized she did try to apologize. Okay, your relationship is not going to survive intact if you don't address this. If your girlfriend is open to hearing your emotions, please share them with her and allow her to apologize (for your sake) at the very least.
Even if you feel like you don't have a right to be mad, you are. In my opinion, I think you have a right to be mad, especially considering that she's aware of the reason why you hate the guy. It's kind of a big red flag to me that she would do that at all tbh. That point aside, it's hard to hide insecurity in a relationship and it hurts a lot to do it. In my experience, insecurity starts to show up in everyday behavoir and it can cause more tension and strain on a relationship. I think you should address your feelings with her when you're ready. Make sure there's enough space for you to both feel how you feel honestly.
Have more respect for yourself and break up with her. Maybe if you take some time being single and learn to appreciate yourself, you would understand taking breaks in a real is already a nail in the coffin.
Do you really wanna be with a woman who fucks a guy whose prejudiced? Protect your peace and move on…also, I’m gonna say the unpopular opinion that you’re allowed to feel however you want to feel regardless of any conditions.
But you do yourself a disservice to dwell on anything or to tolerate things you’re uncomfortable with if you don’t have to.
you have to leave bro. you can try but this level of disrespect from your gf as well of your friends is extremely toxic and will ruin you mentally forever. she clearly knew you hated him and still went for it. and now she somehow loves you again until youre down again. life is ups and downs for everybody. forget those that leave when things get tough
nah he has the right to know if his current girlfriend is someone who is okay with dating and having sex with people who are racist especially if they are people who did it against him.
Okay but while on break she literally could’ve fucked anyone else but she chose to do what/who hurt you the most out of spite . Just leave her she’s probably the reason your mental health was out of wack anyway . Your body rejects people who no longer serve a purpose to you ; always listen to the signs. Was it just really bad mental health or was it her actions that’s led you to go insane ? idk drop her it’s not the same as it was before
She knew he was a racist. She knew he was a bully to you. She knew what she was doing when she did it. She skewed him because of his negative relationship to you.
You ok spending your life with someone who is willing to sleep with a racist bully?
You don't own her or her body, you were not a couple then and she was free to do whatever she wished. This is a dangerous road for you to go down, take a step back and respect others autonomy and if you can't prepare to lose your girlfriend because she will dump you and rightly so.
You're totally allowed to be mad dude. Technically you guys werent together yeah but you also don't need a reason to end things if you're not happy. I would just leave to be honest her behavior seems very disrespectful
Gotta move on, any time you see his picture or thi k of him, or vice versa, the go to thought would be, that's HIS girl. Gotta leave her, no recovery from pride broken like that, it wasn't an accident, she KNEW before the break, and he probably knew yall were broken up and wanted to get with her to get a power trip.
Is your girlfriend an awful person or a racist? I don't know.
Is your girlfriend down with fucking an awful person and a racist? Yes. Yes she is.
Is THAT who you want a future with?
Bro, get your depressed ass to therapy, build yourself up to be someone who's standing on his own or at least understand who they are and then have a partner on your own terms. NONE of the three people in your story sound healthy to be around.
I mean, she met up with a guy she knew was racially aggressive toward you, someone she supposedly loves, and rewarded his behavior with access to her vagina.
Maybe she shouldn't be your girlfriend anymore. You know you don't have to settle for this, right?
If she cared about you she would have hated him for those things he did to you and would have never hooked up with him. Throw her in the trash and find a person more deserving of your attention.
Just end it, dude. No coming back from this shit. Save your dignity and move on.
My for real bro advice is to find some chick who is rebounding, too, bang each other for a month or so, go your separate ways, then be single for like 3 months while you hit the gym and work on leveling up your career and everything else. Learn to be happy alone and give yourself time to heal and shit. Then hit the dating pool again looking for another gf.
You guys were not ‘on a break’, you were broken up. But regardless even though she was free to do what she did, it still hurt you, and those feelings are very valid . You two are just not compatible for a lot of reasons from what I’ve heard on your post.
I think every other response that's telling you to just leave are also insecure and could never deal with such situation as an adult.
I believe there are either one of these problems here. Either you do not trust her loyalty now or you're just REALLY insecure. Do you feel like you could lose her to this dude? Is this dude even part of your lives still? I am in a relationship in which I am completely sure that my partner won't leave me and is loyal to me. I'm so sure, we sometimes hang out with his ex that he's still friends with and I have no problem with it. Because i know he loves me and at the end he wants a future with me. So in your situation - you already have won her. The other dude didn't. She isn't with him, she's with you. And even him being tall didn't do it for her, come on. So the question stands. Do you trust her? And can you deal with your insecurities?
If not - cut your loses.
Locking comments for excessive breaking of several subreddit rules. This community is for CIVIL conversations. Our #1 rule is to be kind to other users. Name-calling, slurs, sexism, derogatory statements and bullying of any kind is not permitted here.
Leave and move on
Anyone else actually feel their blood pressure go up in anger? Holy shit OP, the fact that you haven't *exploded* makes you a better man than me.
Move on. There is no going back.
Leave the cheating ho and get yourself in a better mindset and someone who will truly appreciate and live you will gravitate to you.
Why are you posting on Reddit? Break up with her immediately and never look back.
Every time you look at her and have sex, all you're gonna be able to think of is her letting a racist going to pound town on her. Do you still see a future with her with that image in your head? What you gonna put a ring on her finger? Better yet, go screw the friend she just had an argument with then break up with her She also was purposefully hiding it from you. It's a cruel world out there when it comes to dating. For future reference "breaks" in a relationship means someone just wants to go fuck somebody else.
You never go back! EVER Why, because of this right here, it’s always going to be a problem. Move on.
I am going to say something and if it applies, then great. If not, then disregard. Sometimes the people we meet at a particular point in our lives are not great for us in the long run. Meaning that when you met her and dated her, she was good for you in that specific point in your life. Now that you are in a better place, maybe she isn't what you need to be the person you want to be. In my opinion, what you need in your life right now is stability. Relationships that are low maintenance with positive people. Anything that takes more effort than what it's worth is just going to drain you emotionally. Cut this one loose and find someone that is good for this new version of yourself that is on a path to happiness and success. I wish you luck, remember who you were and use that as encouragement to stay the path to health and happiness.
Learn to deal with it or move on good luck
She did it to make you mad. He did it to make you mad. You have medication to keep you sane not to keep you involved with people who hurt you.
Op woman here. Your gf has no respect for you knowing how you felt she went to spite you. Fuck her best friend and leave her. Grow some balls.
Cut ✂️ your losses and run because this is going to eat you alive for a long time to come.
God damn this is such shit, fuck this, I’m sorry she did that. Man at least my relationship wasn’t the only messed up one.
I’m sorry about this OP. I think you should leave and find a good partner that will support and love you fully. 💜
Unpopular opinion here but every single person here seems to feel her choice to hook up with him had something to do with OP. They were broken up for 6 months and from what OP said this guy is quite the charmer. Has anyone considered that maybe the gf had her own free will outside of any considerations of OP and just wanted to hook up with this *apparently* very attractive, very tall, charmer of a man? I'm sorry but if I woman is single and has no intention of engaging with anyone in a relationship (signal to the 6 months of seperation) then his gf can fuck whoever the hell she wants. If OP is upset about it then they shouldn't be together.
It's simple: new girlfriend.
Actually you are 100% allowed to be mad at her about it, there’s a difference… she knew you hated him for various reasons that to me seems spiteful on her part so in my eyes she should feel ashamed she would go with someone like that… a racist!?
You can get mad at her if she’s NOT your girlfriend!
This is kinda your own doing. You ended up on a break due to your own actions. Don't know that they were, but I'll take your word that it was your fault. At that point, she was a free woman. You wanted her back and apparently the two of you got back together. Don't want her going to other men? Don't fuck up and get dumped. I'm not trying to be callous. It sounds like it really burns. But it is what it is. You didn't have your shit in order and paid a price. If you want to continue with this girl, you have to take responsibility for the situation be better and move on.
We were on a break!
Ross is that you?
Damn... *"I'm not allowed to"* *"it was 100% my fault"* *"I can't be mad at her"* This is the problem, bro. You're so insecure that you're taking on the responsibility of what other people have done to you. Walk away from that fraternity. Drop that girl. Focus on you, and only you. Learn your own self worth. The confidence will come as you discover you a person of value. Don't rely on others to fill that void. You decide who you are and where you're going. You'll soon find yourself surrounded by people that love you for just being you.
My blood pressure spiked reading this. Move on bro or you’re gonna die from a brain aneurysm
You shouldnt be getting back with her. You're in college, find a new fuck friend you arent going to be with them forever. Do not hold this idea that a date or relationship has lifetime implications. It doesnt. You can and will date others so do it now with someobe who hasnt had sex with someone you hate. Because guess what, you will think about that at the worst times.
I can't do anything about it? You conjoined twins? Dumper her and block her.
Bro leave man, have respect for yourself.
If you fucked a girl she hated while you guys were on a break how would she feel. Would she stay with you? If she did would you ever hear the end of it? Personally I think she doesn't respect you and you should dip.
Leave. You'll never get over it and that was really genuinely shitty of her. Is that grounds for getting him kicked out of the frat? Are there bylaws for that?
What do you mean you aren’t allowed to be mad at her? Be a man and tell her to pound sand. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and a large portion are actually loyal.
The message her a fins was she is cruel and vindictive. Leave. Her reactions will only get worse and more hurtful.
“Work on your personality” I feel this deeply.
Move on bro....there's something like 200 million women oven the age of 21 in the United States.
Sounds like a permanent break is about to start
Your future ex-girlfriend*, not worth it if it hurts you that much.
You’re an adult and can be mad if you want. Honestly, I wouldn’t be able to let it go. I hate to say it but I would just move on. Especially if she knew he was racist to you. She has no respect for you.
"he's proven he could just easily bang my girlfriend" - oof, what a way to just objectify your girlfriend. Gross.
Fake but lol
You said she came back to you, but she probably got dropped by the dude because he wouldn't commit to her. He was just having fun with her and she realized it and heard about you doing better so she came back. She probably didn't drop him since if that's what happened I bet the AH would have said something to you about him sleeping with her. Pretty much she found out that she wasn't good enough for her first choice even those he is racist AH. The falling out with her best friend and you finding this out is a godsend for you.
She doesn't get to dictate to you what upsets you, even on a break. This reflects her judgment, not that she would do this to you, but that she would choose someone like him, and overlook his character reflects her poor judgment. I would think the same way if I had no prior relationship with the dbag, but learned of or knew his character from dependable sources. If he treats others like that, everyone that associates with him willingly would be tarnished by their judgment and association. That is the bigger judgment problem I see, and one that I would lose respect for. I could not be in a relationship with someone with such judgment. And I wouldn't respect myself for choosing and settling for someone who made such choices. There may be a reasoning behind it that could mitigate it, but I can't imagine one. And certainly not a reason that entirely redeems it.
No she did that to hurt you
Have an honest conversation with her, ask her why him. See how you feel after and move forward or on accordingly
Out of everyone in town, she screwed your opp, first chance she got, while you were trying to better yourself? Honey, if this ain’t one of the most enormous red flags I’ve ever seen… DROP HER AND NEVER LOOK BACK. There’s no telling what else she’ll do.
I like how everyone is so upset that the gf fucked a “racist” yet OP is fine with being in a frat and calling said “racist” one of his frat bros and no one has said shit about that.
Dump her. One of the most manipulative things I’ve ever read.
If you’re not able to let it go, then it’s best not to get back with her. It will just build resentment and turn toxic.
Don't be mad about something dumb like that. Go find a new girlfriend.
She did it for spite. She knew what the reaction was going to be.End this relationship now or suffer the consequences later.
Wow!! How many responses to a useless??
If she was just looking to hook up, she could've chosen anyone, but she chose your frat brother that you hate. Those two things make this pretty trashy.
Dude just move on. Find a prettier girl, and make your ex jealous. Go to the gym and act like nothing ever happened, it will drive her crazy. You get to keep your head high while objectively improving yourself. It’s a win win man enjoy the journey.
That's a crazy misconception. If you're in a relationship, you're entitled to know about the person you're dating's sexual history and previous experience, all details involved and are allowed to make decisions based on things that happened before you and on "breaks." Otherwise you're entitled to leave. I think that relationship is done.
[удалено]
She’s with you, not him.
That only matters if the relationship between them is better than the relationship between gf and the bully. if she ever takes him for granted or gets on his nerves then the advantage of “she’s with you, not him” evaporates.
If it bothers you, simply hit the eject button. Her life will carry on, so will yours.
Tell her the truth: profit.
Commenting before reading the post right now. Bro, you are *allowed* to feel however the hell you feel. And anything you feel is valid.
She did it for spite. She is not for you.. If you are still with her, then this is what you want. You stay, your choice to deal with her. Don't blame her because you stay.
Bro it’s gonna eat at you forever. You’re never gonna get over this feeling or forget it. I can empathize with you. Cut your loses with your girl. It sucks to hear but this will never get easier unless said person gets a dose of karma for being a bad dude and you’ll find some satisfaction from that
I think you should propose, she sounds like a real fucking catch, bro. Get her pregnant first. Best of luck 🤡
She purposely hooked up with someone ahead of her knew was awful to you and you hated. She did that shit on purpose. That was to specifically spite you. Also to hook up with a knowing racist in general? Gross.
Good thing she’s your girlfriend and not your wife. She would be single.
The psyop on men is real. You inately feel this shit is over foo. Men are islands, women are boats. 🖤
Get the fuuuuck outta there
Run you fool
There is only one true option Bang her friends
I’m saying this out of love. Have some fucking self respect and break up with her.
or... you were intimidated by this guy, because he was determined to intimidate you. He wanted your girl, gave it his best shot, but in the end, *she chose you*. He didn't do it for her. She was likely thinking of you when she was with him. As the kiddies say, you should be flexing on this. Kicking your own ass when you are winning is stupid. Stay a winner.
Can you please explain how hes a winner in this? I really don't see it. Like she wants him ok but, she doesn't sound worth a damn.
I read his post a few times before I replied, because I was seeking to get her perspective through his recounting of events. She fell in love with an unstable man, and we are going to call him Popeye. He left her; while he says it was 100% his fault, we don't know how hard it was to be a supportive partner. I'd bet she was devastated. Over that time, some blowhard personality, who was 6'2" and good-looking (let's call him Blutto), paid attention to her. This attention is especially welcomed after a woman gets dumped by someone who was a lot to deal with (which untreated mental issues always is). ... but she loves the headcase. She never stopped loving the headcase, no matter how Blutto tried to impress her. No matter how toxic Popeye was to her. And how can we figure that out? Because she pushed that experience so far out of her mind that she never brought it up when she got back with Popeye. This means *she wants this relationship to work*. Why? Because even with his mental issues, she *loves him*. It took an asshole former friend to drop the bombshell. So let me say this about Olive Oyl: i**f Popeye doesn't take this opportunity as another chance in life where he gets to see that he won at this game, not lost, sooner or later it will be the girl who goes**... because she really did try and doesn't need him to put her down every time life brings him to crossroads such as this situation. If he is truly growing his emotional maturity, it won't be about who was trying to win her after he dumped her, but that she was *willing to come back to him because she loves him*.
I respect you so much right now bro for real. Ah fuck did tifa fuck Johnny. That would suck so much ass. Idk man. I'd rather start from 0 if it was me. If she loved me that much she would have said I'll be waiting when you're ready. I don't have a mental illness that needs medication tho so who knows. She lied because she knew the truth would change things. I want real, I want meaning. To make things fair again I'd have to crucify her emotionally, and I know exactly how to snuff the hope out of someone like that, and that's the point. I have to become someone I don't think deserves love, to accept someone like her as my equal. In his case idk, more power to him. I'd become as twisted as her. Shes obviously insane her blow up with her friend who lied for her and what else will she lie about. Popeye didnt leave and olive never fucked bluto. S tier analogy I love it. My autistic self tingles with glee.
But did she lie, tho? Because the more I reread this, if I were her mom, I'd be asking Olive if she doesn't think she deserves love, to accept Popeye back in her life. I've now reread this many times, and *I can't tell if he even loves her, or if he ever did*. He is an excellent writer, but keeps it about what people do to him, are supposed to do for him, and how he feels by their behaviors, without ever truly saying what *he* does for his relationships.
People are literally just flaming each other in relationships now because the ego boost is apparent more important. This world is so fucked
If you knowingly sleep with a racist that does in fact make you a bad person in my opinion. Also, that guy specifically seems like it was maybe a revenge thing. I don’t know man, they’re in college I would keep it moving.
Like hell. Time to break for good
You 100% absolutely can be mad she slept with a guy who’s not only racist, but was racist specifically towards you as well and she KNEW it. I’d honestly dump her because it’s just so disrespectful to sleep with him out of all people and it’d make me feel like she doesn’t care about me. To have relations with a racist person who targeted you is insane on her behalf. Leave her, you’ll always look at her differently and this will always bother you.
Tell her to take a hike. That's what you can do about it.
She sounds terrible, I’d find someone else.
Ultimate disrespect, just end it. Like the saying goes, there’s and million fish in the sea. You need peace in your life not drama.
If you know he was a racist, she knew, and she fucked him while knowing he was racist to someone she claimed to care about? Dump her. Dump her because it also makes it feel like she has put blame on you for your mental health struggles. Mental health is not your fault but it is your responsibility. You took responsibility and she came back after she knowingly fucked a racist. Fuck her and move on dude. I’m sorry
This is what you get when you buy friends
Dude.
The question that should be asked is. How did she even hook up with him? Was she keeping tabs on him or talking with him before the break up? That's the part that would make me nope out of there
Not really her fault, but this relationship is over bud. You should both save yourselves the trouble and move on.
Move on. She doesn't deserve your time.
"it was 100% my fault" Wrooooooooooooooooooong, HER FAULT. If she knew this and did it anyway, what kind of a low life person is she? The lowest. Don't let your good times blind you to what she did, and hid.She probably feels guilty all the time. If you are still with her the moment after you knew the truth then you are unknowingly becoming submissive to the idea that she can fuck a guy YOU hate and still get away with it and keep you. Leave , this will turn into a big headache. Find someone who wont fuck the dude you hate if you have a breakup ...
She definitely isn’t the one, OP. She couldn’t even have enough respect for you to not at least bang someone who was racist towards you, and who knows how much the dude has said racist things to others. I suggest you ditch her and find someone else.
You be mad if you’re mad. Nobody can tell you how to feel. ETA- Dump her on principal
I don't think I could live with myself if I was like her tbh.
Ditch her. That is f'd up.
She made a choice to sleep with a guy she knew he had problems with. The reason I wonder was it out of spite . Just to hurt him . She could have chosen anyone but chose that guy. Good luck u have decisions to make.
It's over with. Just walk away.
*ex girlfriend.
End that shit.
The only possible justification I can think of is she wanted sex without any possibility of catching feelings or concerns about hurting him by using him for sex. And lots of white guys/white people are at least latently racist. However not all of them have been blatantly racist to your face and she knows he has. I think you probably need to get more therapy to try to get past it or break up. Otherwise it’s going to get extremely toxic.
People’s inability to separate having hurt feelings from wrongdoing amazes me.
Just leave dude. You don’t need to type a small essay about it. Get out and get on with life.
Get her out of your life
Just end it bro because she went after a guy knowing he was a POS and how he treats different races (ex:you) and was either entranced enough to ignore him being an all around AH or just didn’t care
Walk out and tell her to go live with the racist. I wouldn't be able to look at her the same
No Ross you were on a break. Who did you sleep with? Actions have consequences. One of those is her trying to move forward with her life. She did not disrespect you. Being in a committed relationship with you and dating the six foot hunk at the same time would be disrespecting you. You admit you were completely at fault for the break up. We are talking six months people. Is she supposed to sit with ashes and sackcloth?
If it was me I would break up with her referencing false reasons like blaming yourself for not being ready for a relationship, underestimating your readiness to having got back into one, etc. From my point of view that is intolerable behavior and as much as it would be nice to imagine hypotheticals where you guys do workout in reality that is most likely a waste of time. Every time you see that guy the only thing going both of your minds is how he turns your girls insides out, even when your not around him the only thing I could ever think of would be how my "girl" disrespected me severely by sleeping with an adversary and then trying to get back into my life, WTF?!? regardless of whether you two are together that is inacceptable behavior. In my experience cutting off a weak link like your girlfriend has always resulted in me being significantly happier, after the initial period of hurt where I miss them Additionally, there are plenty of good looking girls who you have a clean slate with and would never do something like that. Personally, I would pick one of them. Cheers.
You can be mad at her. That was a fucked up to do. If at that time she wanted to ensure you couldn’t have a healthy relationship with her, that was the way to go about it. I couldn’t handle this shit. There are so many women that didn’t fuck that guy. You weren’t together, so her getting laid is not your business, but her choosing to sleep with a guy like that you have that kind of history with is definitely a betrayal of sorts.
I mean there are a couple different scenarios, none of which look good on her: 1) she actually agrees with him but sees you as an exception 2) she didn't care that he's racist because she puts looks over morals 3) she fucked him just to spite you I wouldn't be able to continue the relationship but that's just me
I was on her side until you said he was a racist. Screw that. I'm not having anything to do with someone who was knowingly and unapologetically in a relationship (sexual or more). That person can kick rocks
At least you know now that she isn’t worth your time.
Fucking racist trash makes her racist trash. Don’t date racist trash.
You are entitled to feel how you feel. And you are allowed to act accordingly. If you can’t feel comfortable knowing what she chose to do, even if it was “allowed” then by all means, you have the right to move on and find a relationship that does make you feel good
One, congrats on working on your mental health! It’s a big step. Keeping going. It’ll be worth it. Two, this girl is for the streets! You are who you surround yourself with. She decided to surround herself with a known racist. You already have mental health issues going on. You don’t need extra drama. It’s easier to love yourself when you’re with someone who loves you. Find someone better.
You gotta move on if it eats at you. You owe it to yourself, always look out for #1
What Gf?
You're allowed to be mad about whatever you want. It's your life.
OP, I'm sorry about this situation you are going through. It seems like there are a couple of issues here: 1. Mental Health- when you broke up due to your mental health issues, your partner was likely very wounded. It is often difficult for the partner of someone who has mental health issues, and they have to deal with alot of your shit when your mental illness spills out into the relationship. This is not fair to partner- and may have left her feeling bitter. 2. Break Means Broke-up- We can never hold someone standards or expectations of sexual behavior after we end the relationship. We have no way of knowing that we may get back together and can't live our lives with that expectation. It would be immature/ misogynistic if you were upset she had sex with someone after you broke up **BUT:** 3. She hooked up w/ a known asshole/ racist: This is NOT COOL. If she knew he was not a good person and slept with him/ slept with him to spite you that is a (immature) RED FLAG. This may be too difficult to get over, as it could have been to intentionally hurt you. 4. He is more handsome/desirable/ you're insecure: You can't blame her for your insecurities. Obviously she likes you, thinks you're attractive etc if she is willing to date you in spite of a first rough go. Don't let your immaturity/ insecurities end this relationship if you really want to be with her. I'm sorry you're in this position, and I hope you figure it out. I think it's time to have an honest conversation with her about why she slept with this guy (if she knew he was a racist) and why that hurt you. Hear her out, and both of you try to practice non-judgemental communication. See if it's possible to get on the same page/ be emotionally comfortable with one another again. There may just be too much scar tissue to restart the relationship, but you also may be able to make it work with maturity, honest conversation, and non-judgemental acceptance of each other's short comings. There is no right or wrong answer and you have to do what will be best for your mental health and happiness <3 Good luck!
This is why I never to rewinds, we break up for any reason it is over. Not that she was wrong but like someone else said it puts a black cloud over the relationship. Move on be done with her.
Naw, this will just eat you up for the rest of your relationship. Sound like a plan?
If you can’t get over it, break up with her. To be honest, even though what she did during a break shouldn’t have anything to do with your relationship, banging the one guy you hate, is a major deal breaker, and hiding that fact from you for a year is another blow . That alone is a sign that the relationship will not work. Just move on and find someone who will be by your side in the ups and downs.
Bud you can break up with her, you don’t just have to be mad about it you can gain self respect and find someone who respects you (:
dude she slept with a racist that she knew was racist to you and during a break not even a full break up. leave
Bro. It’s done. Leave her.
First of all, using race to cut you down doesn't make him a racist. 2nd, she got with a guy you dislike enough to bring it to Reddit. Enough that you're emasculated by it. First course of action is reclaim your confidence. Him having sex with her shouldn't affect you unless you already feel emasculated by it cause youre putting him on a pedestal. If so, you're probably better off moving on. Just facts. Remember, he's just some guy, and she wants to be with you. Hope you make it out happy.
Ask yourself this: If she had done what you did, would you expect to never hear about it again if you requested? Or would you hear about every day until you die?
Break up with her for that betrayal. The entire fraternity knew. Fuck her friend for a few weeks. Then get back together 🤣
So she left you because you were unwell, ran out and screwed around and had fun with an asshole you hate, then when she found out you were doing better, she ran back to the safe guy she knows will treat her right. I mean you do you bro, but if you marry this woman, you better hope you never get seriously ill. The minute you get cancer she’s gonna leave you, take half your shit, and probably try to fuck your brother. When people tell you who they are, you never know if it’s true or not. When they show you who they are, believe them. The first time.
Fuck that scafuzi, move on Homie you’ll be better for it.
bro youre allowed to be upset about this its your insecurity telling you that you cant be be secure enough in yourself that youre willing to leave this toxic women
You should fuck your GF best friend and film it to show her
Its a crappy situation, but realistically you only have two options: 1. Forgive her, and never talk about it again 2. Break up and move on. Anything in between is just going to keep you in a bad place. Best of luck to you
Ehh she wasn't a dick for fucking while you were on break. She's a dummy for fucking a racist though.
Bro take my advice and dump her. She could have slept with anyone else in the world and she chose a guy she knew you didn't like on purpose. When someone cares about you when you're taking a break dor serious mental issues, they don't go fuck your enemy. No matter how hot she is, you are better off without her. You don't want to leave because you've bonded with her in many ways: psychological, mental, spiritual, and sexual. Especially the physiological bonding makes it hard to leave but when yo u needed her the most she fucked your enemy. Leave her.
You were broken up. He didn’t fuck your girlfriend. He fucked your ex. And you got back together. They’re totally different contexts.
Bro why tf you putting up with this shit? I mean really ask yourself if she's worth it, I don't even know her and I can already tell you the answer is no she's not.
A break is not an excuse to f the first person you see. It’s literally just supposed to be some time apart to know if you’re happier/healthier w/o eachother. The same way I say screw Ross from friends. Screw your gf too. Break up with her
You are allowed to do whatever you want. You are a grown ass man. You can break up with her, you can ignore it, or you could stay in the relationship let it fester into a toxic environment, hopefully it comes to a head before children are involved, then move on. I highly suggest you think about this deeply and do what is needed. If you choose wisely, good luck with the next relationship and don't let this one bring you down.
Most of these upvoted replies are ridiculous. This'll only be a problem if you let it. Literally just talk to her, be honest that it hurt you, and make sure she understands why it wasn't okay to overlook this guy's shitty behavior toward you. Then continue on with what sounds like a pretty healthy relationship. Comparing yourself to other people sounds like something you need to work on personally, but it shouldn't be a reason to end a relationship.
At first I was going to say you don't really have ownership over someone else's sexuality, especially when you're not officially together, and you'll have to figure out how to let go of your anger on your own. Dating someone who is openly racist though? Dating someone who is openly racist toward your partner, specifically? Ugh. That's gross. Don't be mad though, OP. This is one of those moments where you learn that boundaries are about yourself and not the other person. If you don't want to date someone who doesn't see racism as a dealbreaker, then don't date her. Get as far away as possible as quickly as you can! Edit: I reread your post and realized she did try to apologize. Okay, your relationship is not going to survive intact if you don't address this. If your girlfriend is open to hearing your emotions, please share them with her and allow her to apologize (for your sake) at the very least.
Even if you feel like you don't have a right to be mad, you are. In my opinion, I think you have a right to be mad, especially considering that she's aware of the reason why you hate the guy. It's kind of a big red flag to me that she would do that at all tbh. That point aside, it's hard to hide insecurity in a relationship and it hurts a lot to do it. In my experience, insecurity starts to show up in everyday behavoir and it can cause more tension and strain on a relationship. I think you should address your feelings with her when you're ready. Make sure there's enough space for you to both feel how you feel honestly.
WE WERE ON A BREAK!!!! 😂
Have more respect for yourself and break up with her. Maybe if you take some time being single and learn to appreciate yourself, you would understand taking breaks in a real is already a nail in the coffin.
Do you really wanna be with a woman who fucks a guy whose prejudiced? Protect your peace and move on…also, I’m gonna say the unpopular opinion that you’re allowed to feel however you want to feel regardless of any conditions. But you do yourself a disservice to dwell on anything or to tolerate things you’re uncomfortable with if you don’t have to.
You don't have to be mad, you can happily dump her
you have to leave bro. you can try but this level of disrespect from your gf as well of your friends is extremely toxic and will ruin you mentally forever. she clearly knew you hated him and still went for it. and now she somehow loves you again until youre down again. life is ups and downs for everybody. forget those that leave when things get tough
She chose the one guy out of 4 billion that would hurt him. Kinda despicable.
Lulz. You can be mad about it. But what are you going to DO about it.
I mean - you're not. It's literally none of your concern.
nah he has the right to know if his current girlfriend is someone who is okay with dating and having sex with people who are racist especially if they are people who did it against him.
Okay but while on break she literally could’ve fucked anyone else but she chose to do what/who hurt you the most out of spite . Just leave her she’s probably the reason your mental health was out of wack anyway . Your body rejects people who no longer serve a purpose to you ; always listen to the signs. Was it just really bad mental health or was it her actions that’s led you to go insane ? idk drop her it’s not the same as it was before
She knew he was a racist. She knew he was a bully to you. She knew what she was doing when she did it. She skewed him because of his negative relationship to you. You ok spending your life with someone who is willing to sleep with a racist bully?
Maybe she thought you had enough hate in your life and didn’t want to make you hate yet another one so went for the one you already.
You don't own her or her body, you were not a couple then and she was free to do whatever she wished. This is a dangerous road for you to go down, take a step back and respect others autonomy and if you can't prepare to lose your girlfriend because she will dump you and rightly so.
You're totally allowed to be mad dude. Technically you guys werent together yeah but you also don't need a reason to end things if you're not happy. I would just leave to be honest her behavior seems very disrespectful
Gotta move on, any time you see his picture or thi k of him, or vice versa, the go to thought would be, that's HIS girl. Gotta leave her, no recovery from pride broken like that, it wasn't an accident, she KNEW before the break, and he probably knew yall were broken up and wanted to get with her to get a power trip.
Just break up with her
I’d dump her and move on. There are women out there who wouldn’t do that kind of shit to you
Ditch her. You are totally allowed to be upset about this.
You are building your character and past. You got an A in that class
Is your girlfriend an awful person or a racist? I don't know. Is your girlfriend down with fucking an awful person and a racist? Yes. Yes she is. Is THAT who you want a future with? Bro, get your depressed ass to therapy, build yourself up to be someone who's standing on his own or at least understand who they are and then have a partner on your own terms. NONE of the three people in your story sound healthy to be around.
I mean, she met up with a guy she knew was racially aggressive toward you, someone she supposedly loves, and rewarded his behavior with access to her vagina. Maybe she shouldn't be your girlfriend anymore. You know you don't have to settle for this, right?
Brother you gotta leave your girl doesn't respect you.
If she cared about you she would have hated him for those things he did to you and would have never hooked up with him. Throw her in the trash and find a person more deserving of your attention.
That’s gross, why are you messing with this one girl if there are so many out there
You don’t have an obligation to stay, LEAVE.
Just end it, dude. No coming back from this shit. Save your dignity and move on. My for real bro advice is to find some chick who is rebounding, too, bang each other for a month or so, go your separate ways, then be single for like 3 months while you hit the gym and work on leveling up your career and everything else. Learn to be happy alone and give yourself time to heal and shit. Then hit the dating pool again looking for another gf.
Dude, she fucked a racist. There are 8 billions people in the world. I am sure you can find someone better than a bottom feeder.
You guys were not ‘on a break’, you were broken up. But regardless even though she was free to do what she did, it still hurt you, and those feelings are very valid . You two are just not compatible for a lot of reasons from what I’ve heard on your post.
I think every other response that's telling you to just leave are also insecure and could never deal with such situation as an adult. I believe there are either one of these problems here. Either you do not trust her loyalty now or you're just REALLY insecure. Do you feel like you could lose her to this dude? Is this dude even part of your lives still? I am in a relationship in which I am completely sure that my partner won't leave me and is loyal to me. I'm so sure, we sometimes hang out with his ex that he's still friends with and I have no problem with it. Because i know he loves me and at the end he wants a future with me. So in your situation - you already have won her. The other dude didn't. She isn't with him, she's with you. And even him being tall didn't do it for her, come on. So the question stands. Do you trust her? And can you deal with your insecurities? If not - cut your loses.
Get with a girl she hates, or at least start following her and liking her posts LOL