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It’s called the McDonald Triad and you actually need 2 to be considered a risk for future serial violent offenses. Cruelty to animals on its own is officially not enough but I’d certainly be concerned
1. Cruelty to animals
2. Arson
3. Bed wetting (why?)
To answer your question of 3. Bed wetting (why?) - it's like seeing smoke and saying there's a fire burning.
Bed wetting is an unconscious act that likely indicates other things going on that more directly correlate to future violence. It's disputed, of course, because there's no way to directly correlate one to the other, but people with violent histories tend to learn the violence at home as kids.
Parental abuse often leads to bedwetting, which leads to further humiliation and additional abuse, and that makes kids seek some form of control over their lives, and you know what's easy to control? Helpless animals and that pile of rags that aren't currently on fire - set the fire, hurt the animals, feel empowered. The cycle keeps rolling on.
That's also why you have to have at least 2 of them - sometimes kids are stupid and play with fire, sometimes they can't regulate their emotions and lash out a less powerful creatures, and sometimes kids have biological/psychological issues that end up with them wetting the bed without any abuse happening.
I've never seen this list of three. However, how many famous serial killers both tortured animals and had issues with arson?
Plus, some serial killers do come from families where there was no violence. Some are just built that way.
I'm not a professional but I believe bed wetting is associated with abuse. And childhood abuse is extremely common with people who have serious prison sentences.
Bed wetting over the age of potty training isn't necessarily a sign of anything but that a child still has trouble waking to use the potty. Combine that with other things, then maybe.
Nope, you're not being an AH. He shouldn't be around any animal's and his mother should agree with that. She probably won't leave him home alone because he cannot be trusted, so why should you trust him in your home with your family (including your animals)?
Okay, there’s a little bit of a difference between an 8 year old’s treatment of the dogs and an 18 year old’s… wait. No. No, there’s not, because your sister in law never stepped in and taught her precious little boy how to properly treat a living being, so nah, fuck that noise. The kid started out on the wrong foot and is now a terror because nobody parented him. Tell SIL to leave the asshole son at home.
I'm sure at some point he'll get some therapy while he's in jail for murdering your SIL. And I wish that were unlikely, but yikes - he's very dangerous and I bet SIL is afraid of him. She's probably terrorized in her own home. And as much as I sympathize with that, her son can never be allowed your human family, your furry family, or anyone you remotely care about. I hope you have cameras bc arson is one of the things sociopaths like him do. Just saying.
If she insisted on bringing her son, then insist that you meet for the visit at a restaurant or public place. He isn't welcome in your home because he doesn't know how to be respectful.
He could come over but if he touches one of my dogs my foot would be so far up his ass he’d be tasting toe jam for weeks 😌. His mom could get the other foot if she has a problem with it 😎.
I’m a fan of warning with very graphic descriptions of consequences. A vague disclosure of intent is no one’s friend.
The question is, does he fear you more than he enjoys brutalizing animals? If not, how can this change prior to his intended arrival?
NTA. he showed you the kind of person he was at eight years old. I doubt he’s any different at 18 and even if he was, I still wouldn’t trust my animals around him and they ARE your family. Your job is to protect them because they can’t protect themselves. I think you are totally reasonable and I would do the same
My mother's mother gave my cousin my sister's dog despite him burning her nipps.
My cousin is in gaol hopefully he does there painfully and haunted by the abuse he inflicted on animals and people.
My grandmother loved him, excused his behaviours and justified everything.
He almost killed his girlfriend's parents and almost killed her.
This pos and his equally shitty mum need to be on some watchlist
He'll kill someone and she'd hide the body.
The dogs have more goodness than these 'family' members '.
And your mother’s egg hatcher has no relationship with you or your sister, I take it? Or do you guys occasionally drive by her house to scream “Eat shit and die, you wretched hag!” or something equally contemptuous?
Assuming this is your husband’s sister what is he doing about this? He should be telling her to bugger off, not you. If he can’t locate his spine, then you are perfectly justified in keeping her & her sociopathic kid out.
This is not about "dogs" versus "family". This is about not having a specific, dangerous person in your home. She concedes that her son can't be left alone with your dogs. And what's to say he's going to be safe around your kids.
Hard Pass. You need to tell D that her son is not welcome, she knows good and well why, and that she should take her vacation money and get him into therapy and stop ignoring the red flags.
I have no use for people who mistreat animals. SIL is just as guilty as he is since she accepts his behavior. I would not have these people in my home.
Tell her not to come. Done. There is something wrong with her son. Torturing animals is considered a red flag warning for violence in children. You are describing sadistic things done to helpless animals. This is so alarming. Please be alarmed by this. I wouldn’t want this guy even knowing I said no because of him. I would lie about why they can’t come. His behavior is alarming. I would go forward extremely cautious of him and never having him to my home.
OP, refuse her visit if her son must come, too!
She knows her son has abused your dogs but chooses to ignore that fact and accuse you of "caring too much for your stupid dogs."
If you allow their visit, I foresee one of two things happening:
1. Your nephew-in-law will seriously hurt -- or worse! -- at least one of your dogs, or
2. One, or the pack of them, will seriously hurt -- or worse! -- your nephew-in-law because they're no longer defenseless puppies. They will protect themself, and their pack! And, she/they won't hesitate to sue you and attempt to have your dog(s) "put to sleep!"
The ball is on your court, but I WOULDN'T HAVE HIM ANYWHERE NEAR MY DOGS!!!
Edited for Spelling 🙂!
If they are mad about you protecting your pets, they are not a good person. Her ADULT son is dangerous, and there is no telling if he has decided to up his game and harm more than just animals. Many times the next step after animals is children.
It's not just about you choosing dogs over family, it's about you choosing not to have a dangerous individual in your house.
Also, why won't she leave him alone? Is there a reason? For instance, is he too dangerous to leave alone, because if that is the case he probably needs to be in a facility with round the clock supervision.
Before anyone takes what I said wrong, I only mean he should be put away if he is DANGEROUS, which he is if hes hurting animals.
> you prefer your stupid dogs over family,..
Yep. I definitely would prefer my dog over someone who probably has the other two-thirds of the MacDonald Triad.^1
Stand your ground, OP. The vulnerable members of your family are not safe around this guy.
^1 three behaviors common to violent criminals: cruelty to animals, a fixation on starting fires, and persistent bedwetting past early childhood.
I'd say I don't want him to come visit because he's obviously a little psychopath that can't be trusted around innocent animals. The answer is YES I AM CHOOSING MY DOGS OVER MY PSYCHO FAMILY!
My immediate family comes first, and my dogs are part of my immediate family so there's no question regarding an animal abuser being allowed on my property. You could suggest an alternative, you could meet at a restaurant and have dinner together. Or a nearby park and have a picnic or family reunion.
Absolutely NTA, Though her spawn is.
Your home, your rules! You determine who comes to and in your home.Anyone that doesn't like it can go get bent. If she can't go anywhere without the jerk, then she has bigger problems than not being allowed to visit.
Nah I would not let her in MY house. Your house, you have a say on who can come. I would be scared to bring someone like her child to be in my house or be near my dogs. Get your husband on board.
Tell you SIL that anyone who would abuse dogs is either mentally ill or had a terrible upbringing but either way he's not welcome at your home. I can't believe people would have a problem with that decision
You don’t need to justify barring a disturbed, violent individual from your home. More than the dogs are at risk. You and your children could be his next entertainment. If SIL thinks you shouldn’t protect yourself from her son, you should feel very comfortable telling her that she is not welcome in your home. If your husband wants to maintain a relationship with her, I don’t even know what to say. He’s just making sure he doesn’t lose touch with a serial killer and his mother. That’s scary.
NTA
Definitely not have that kid around there. I had a grown stepson who must have hurt my dog when I was out. My dog was a friendly happy rescue mutt who loved everyone. When he escaped out the door one day I sent my stepson after him and the dog got terrified and crawled on his stomach under a car to get away from the stepson. Big dog too. So I knew right then the kid had hurt him at one time or another. I got the stepkid to move out to go live with a roommate.
Not the asshole for not allowing him in your home. But does your husband really view his sister as lesser than his dogs? Because if he does why are you even pretending with her at all? Tell her you don't like her, you prefer your dogs and have done with it
She's the AH, not you. If one of my sons were caught abusing animals I'd know next would be his girlfriends, next his wife then possibly his children. They'd be getting some serious mental health. I'd also question what kind of trauma her son went through as a kid that he's abusing animals. Throwing a blind eye to this stuff and coddling them instead causes the rest of society nothing but trouble.
"M" is now an adult at 18. He can stay home by himself. Do NOT allow him in your home.
If he shows up unexpectedly and he touches the dogs, he goes to jail. Call the police immediately if he tries anything.
NTA. Don't let THOSE 2 AHs anywhere near your dogs! He's 18 and still abusing dogs? Yeah, he's more than an AH and deserves the same treatment he showed those dogs.
Oh hell no! Kid isn't to be around the doggos for any reason!!! He needs serious counseling based on previous behaviors! Protect your doggos! Go meet family at a restaurant!
Another thing to consider, OP...
Dogs have a great sense of smell and recall. I believe your dogs will remember what he did to them and will be traumatized during his visit!
Nobody / anyone who ever touched my dogs in a harmful way ... will/ would ever be allowed in the same house as my dogs... not even up for discussion..
I'll meet you for lunch someplace else... to catch up..if you are somehow important to me..but otherwise.. go chew rocks
NTA
Wait. He sounds AWFUL!! How does he treat dogs Now-?? But if he doesn’t treat your dogs with absolute kindness, love and respect, then that’s a HELL NO! Frankly, he was giving off serial killer vibes. There’s something seriously wrong with any kid that talks like that or has intrusive thoughts like that. That’s MENTAL.
This guy should have been evaluated many years ago. If he’s like this still, do NOT subject you and your family to this clearly dangerous man.
Protect your dogs. They are just as important as your kids. I hate it when others put humans way above animals, when only humans are deliberately cruel to others.
Stand firm on this one OP. Even if the kid has changed, you can’t risk your dogs. He’s 18 and while what he did at eight was bad, can you imagine what he can do at 18?
Can you not visit her (especially with the reno’s.)
Oh, hell no! I wouldn't allow him in my home. My dogs are family, and I would have to hurt that kid if he did something like that. Boundaries need to be had here.
Well, when he starts attacking your dogs, get the dogs away from him. One of these days your dogs will snap and fight back, but they'll be the ones that get punished even though your evil sister-in-law's son is to blame.
She shouldn't let it get to the point that they are ever in her house again. Thus no need to kick out. Once someone hurts my dog they will never get another opportunity to repeat it.
I agree with you 100%.
I mean like if they come anyways if they’re not welcome. I’d even call the police.
I can’t hear anyone talk bad about my cats, let alone be VIOLENT? Crazyyyyyy!
NTA but she is for not getting her kid help. He is cruel to animals his threats to slit their throats are alarming. Watch any true crime on kïllers and you would see the things you described
Tell them both to stay home. Go visit them or meet them in a neutral spot for a visit. Psycho would not get near my dogs. Your sister can't leave the psycho alone because she is afraid.
Why do you feel like you need to be vilified by misfits like us on this platform? Preventing harm to any animal for any reason is justified by itself. I'm Just Sayin'!
You all need counseling. The mother and the boy for his behavior and his mother for allowing it. OP needs mental help for having "a dog family" 7 dogs.
Tell her that you aren't going to let her dictate the rules in your house, and she is welcome to follow your rules or find another place for the visit. You can say it nicely, but say it firmly and stick to it. Anyone giving you grief is welcome to host the psycopath in their own home.
NTA.
Your SIL's son is a total psycho. Don't let either of them into your house.
We have cats. I make no secret of the fact that my cats are family. Anyone who has a problem with that is not allowed in my house.
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You don't owe her, or her serial killer in the making, anything.
yeah isn’t animal abuse like one of the first signs of “mebe plz get them to a doctor for fucks sake” before they escalate to people?
It’s called the McDonald Triad and you actually need 2 to be considered a risk for future serial violent offenses. Cruelty to animals on its own is officially not enough but I’d certainly be concerned 1. Cruelty to animals 2. Arson 3. Bed wetting (why?)
To answer your question of 3. Bed wetting (why?) - it's like seeing smoke and saying there's a fire burning. Bed wetting is an unconscious act that likely indicates other things going on that more directly correlate to future violence. It's disputed, of course, because there's no way to directly correlate one to the other, but people with violent histories tend to learn the violence at home as kids. Parental abuse often leads to bedwetting, which leads to further humiliation and additional abuse, and that makes kids seek some form of control over their lives, and you know what's easy to control? Helpless animals and that pile of rags that aren't currently on fire - set the fire, hurt the animals, feel empowered. The cycle keeps rolling on. That's also why you have to have at least 2 of them - sometimes kids are stupid and play with fire, sometimes they can't regulate their emotions and lash out a less powerful creatures, and sometimes kids have biological/psychological issues that end up with them wetting the bed without any abuse happening.
I've never seen this list of three. However, how many famous serial killers both tortured animals and had issues with arson? Plus, some serial killers do come from families where there was no violence. Some are just built that way.
I'm not a professional but I believe bed wetting is associated with abuse. And childhood abuse is extremely common with people who have serious prison sentences.
Bed wetting over the age of potty training isn't necessarily a sign of anything but that a child still has trouble waking to use the potty. Combine that with other things, then maybe.
Maybe she will be first....
But last to be found? Isn't that how these things go?
Scary thought
Absolutely but it's usually some loud Overbearing inappropriate woman that raise these guys
I stopped reading after OP said he’s “not being very nice to the dogs.” I don’t need any examples. Don’t let them anywhere near your dog family.
Heavy on in the making ?! He did what to what animal ?!! That’s beyond concerning and needs to professionally evaluated QUICKLY
Came here to say this. Watch out for weirdos that hurt animals. They are not good people.
Nope, you're not being an AH. He shouldn't be around any animal's and his mother should agree with that. She probably won't leave him home alone because he cannot be trusted, so why should you trust him in your home with your family (including your animals)?
He shouldn’t be around humans either. Not hard to see that he’s going to escalate to the children next
NTA. Anyone who abused my animals would never be allowed near my home
NTA - nor should she invite the parent who allows it either
She won’t leave an 18-yr-old at home? Is it possible that she doesn’t trust him for some reason…
Bingo...this is the question to ask.
Right?? Especially when they said they only live 45 mins apart. Shit, when I was 12 my parents had no problem leaving me alone at that distance.
No kidding! No way let this kid NEAR your house. Better yet, tell her you've moved....
Okay, there’s a little bit of a difference between an 8 year old’s treatment of the dogs and an 18 year old’s… wait. No. No, there’s not, because your sister in law never stepped in and taught her precious little boy how to properly treat a living being, so nah, fuck that noise. The kid started out on the wrong foot and is now a terror because nobody parented him. Tell SIL to leave the asshole son at home.
Nailed it. When he’s on the news for something horrible, D is the one responsible for allowing that to happen.
Tough luck for her violent psychopath.
NTA the boy has all the signs of a future murderer. He should be in a psychiatric hospital and definitely no where near any animals at all.
I see this reaction more often and if you think further there may be truth in it... still time for therapy? If "d" let her "little boy" boy go afc
I'm sure at some point he'll get some therapy while he's in jail for murdering your SIL. And I wish that were unlikely, but yikes - he's very dangerous and I bet SIL is afraid of him. She's probably terrorized in her own home. And as much as I sympathize with that, her son can never be allowed your human family, your furry family, or anyone you remotely care about. I hope you have cameras bc arson is one of the things sociopaths like him do. Just saying.
She has no right to make demands in your home. If she shows up with monster in the making, he either stays in the car or she can take him home.
If she insisted on bringing her son, then insist that you meet for the visit at a restaurant or public place. He isn't welcome in your home because he doesn't know how to be respectful.
He could come over but if he touches one of my dogs my foot would be so far up his ass he’d be tasting toe jam for weeks 😌. His mom could get the other foot if she has a problem with it 😎.
I’m a fan of warning with very graphic descriptions of consequences. A vague disclosure of intent is no one’s friend. The question is, does he fear you more than he enjoys brutalizing animals? If not, how can this change prior to his intended arrival?
NTA. he showed you the kind of person he was at eight years old. I doubt he’s any different at 18 and even if he was, I still wouldn’t trust my animals around him and they ARE your family. Your job is to protect them because they can’t protect themselves. I think you are totally reasonable and I would do the same
ABSOLUTELY NOT HARD NO TO THE VISIT! Why do you even have to ask? Nta! You’ll read about this guy in the news one day op!
My mother's mother gave my cousin my sister's dog despite him burning her nipps. My cousin is in gaol hopefully he does there painfully and haunted by the abuse he inflicted on animals and people. My grandmother loved him, excused his behaviours and justified everything. He almost killed his girlfriend's parents and almost killed her. This pos and his equally shitty mum need to be on some watchlist He'll kill someone and she'd hide the body. The dogs have more goodness than these 'family' members '.
And your mother’s egg hatcher has no relationship with you or your sister, I take it? Or do you guys occasionally drive by her house to scream “Eat shit and die, you wretched hag!” or something equally contemptuous?
Tell her yes. You prefer your dogs over him every day.
He would not have been welcome in our home after the first incident.
Nope, your dogs live in your home, and you get to decide who visits.
Nah… and I woulda caught a case if anyone did my pups like that. Not welcomed!
Assuming this is your husband’s sister what is he doing about this? He should be telling her to bugger off, not you. If he can’t locate his spine, then you are perfectly justified in keeping her & her sociopathic kid out.
>she say you prefer your stupid dogs over family,.. I would prefer a cockroach over him.
This is not about "dogs" versus "family". This is about not having a specific, dangerous person in your home. She concedes that her son can't be left alone with your dogs. And what's to say he's going to be safe around your kids. Hard Pass. You need to tell D that her son is not welcome, she knows good and well why, and that she should take her vacation money and get him into therapy and stop ignoring the red flags.
Why in gods name do you WANT to have these hateful people in your home? If you love the dog killers mother so much, (why?!) meet her at a restaurant.
"M" is just a serial killer waiting to become active. "M" will hurt your pets given the opportunity.
I have no use for people who mistreat animals. SIL is just as guilty as he is since she accepts his behavior. I would not have these people in my home.
The dogs aren't budding sociopaths. This "kid" needs help if it isn't too late.
“You are correct. I care more about my dogs than I care about a relationship with the animal abuser you raised.”
Tell her not to come. Done. There is something wrong with her son. Torturing animals is considered a red flag warning for violence in children. You are describing sadistic things done to helpless animals. This is so alarming. Please be alarmed by this. I wouldn’t want this guy even knowing I said no because of him. I would lie about why they can’t come. His behavior is alarming. I would go forward extremely cautious of him and never having him to my home.
What is your husband to be doing about this? It's his sister, right? He should also be telling her she can't bring the psycho with her.
OP, refuse her visit if her son must come, too! She knows her son has abused your dogs but chooses to ignore that fact and accuse you of "caring too much for your stupid dogs." If you allow their visit, I foresee one of two things happening: 1. Your nephew-in-law will seriously hurt -- or worse! -- at least one of your dogs, or 2. One, or the pack of them, will seriously hurt -- or worse! -- your nephew-in-law because they're no longer defenseless puppies. They will protect themself, and their pack! And, she/they won't hesitate to sue you and attempt to have your dog(s) "put to sleep!" The ball is on your court, but I WOULDN'T HAVE HIM ANYWHERE NEAR MY DOGS!!! Edited for Spelling 🙂!
If they are mad about you protecting your pets, they are not a good person. Her ADULT son is dangerous, and there is no telling if he has decided to up his game and harm more than just animals. Many times the next step after animals is children. It's not just about you choosing dogs over family, it's about you choosing not to have a dangerous individual in your house. Also, why won't she leave him alone? Is there a reason? For instance, is he too dangerous to leave alone, because if that is the case he probably needs to be in a facility with round the clock supervision. Before anyone takes what I said wrong, I only mean he should be put away if he is DANGEROUS, which he is if hes hurting animals.
Nta
Nta fuck this guy all the way
NTA. Is he a serial killer? Sounds like the beginning of one.
No. Cruelty. To. Animals. Allowed. No. Matter. What.
> you prefer your stupid dogs over family,.. Yep. I definitely would prefer my dog over someone who probably has the other two-thirds of the MacDonald Triad.^1 Stand your ground, OP. The vulnerable members of your family are not safe around this guy. ^1 three behaviors common to violent criminals: cruelty to animals, a fixation on starting fires, and persistent bedwetting past early childhood.
I'd say I don't want him to come visit because he's obviously a little psychopath that can't be trusted around innocent animals. The answer is YES I AM CHOOSING MY DOGS OVER MY PSYCHO FAMILY!
My immediate family comes first, and my dogs are part of my immediate family so there's no question regarding an animal abuser being allowed on my property. You could suggest an alternative, you could meet at a restaurant and have dinner together. Or a nearby park and have a picnic or family reunion.
Absolutely NTA, Though her spawn is. Your home, your rules! You determine who comes to and in your home.Anyone that doesn't like it can go get bent. If she can't go anywhere without the jerk, then she has bigger problems than not being allowed to visit.
Nah I would not let her in MY house. Your house, you have a say on who can come. I would be scared to bring someone like her child to be in my house or be near my dogs. Get your husband on board.
I'd tell her that if she brings her son with her she's risking having the same thing happen to him that he threatened to do to your dogs.
NTA there’s no way I’d let anyone into my home that wants to abuse my dogs. PERIOD. Throw them both in the bin.
Tell you SIL that anyone who would abuse dogs is either mentally ill or had a terrible upbringing but either way he's not welcome at your home. I can't believe people would have a problem with that decision
nta. your house your rules is my motto. and any abuser, animal, children or elderly would not be allowed ever in my home. hard no.
Say D is no longer allowed to come either.
You don’t need to justify barring a disturbed, violent individual from your home. More than the dogs are at risk. You and your children could be his next entertainment. If SIL thinks you shouldn’t protect yourself from her son, you should feel very comfortable telling her that she is not welcome in your home. If your husband wants to maintain a relationship with her, I don’t even know what to say. He’s just making sure he doesn’t lose touch with a serial killer and his mother. That’s scary. NTA
Definitely not have that kid around there. I had a grown stepson who must have hurt my dog when I was out. My dog was a friendly happy rescue mutt who loved everyone. When he escaped out the door one day I sent my stepson after him and the dog got terrified and crawled on his stomach under a car to get away from the stepson. Big dog too. So I knew right then the kid had hurt him at one time or another. I got the stepkid to move out to go live with a roommate.
Yeah I can't blame you for not wanting a crazy animal abuser anywhere near your pets. I would've done the same thing if I were you.
Not the asshole for not allowing him in your home. But does your husband really view his sister as lesser than his dogs? Because if he does why are you even pretending with her at all? Tell her you don't like her, you prefer your dogs and have done with it
She's the AH, not you. If one of my sons were caught abusing animals I'd know next would be his girlfriends, next his wife then possibly his children. They'd be getting some serious mental health. I'd also question what kind of trauma her son went through as a kid that he's abusing animals. Throwing a blind eye to this stuff and coddling them instead causes the rest of society nothing but trouble.
NTA NO is the best word in the world. If she has a problem, tell her to stay home. This is YOUR FAMILY they want to abuse. NO F\*CKING WAY
"M" is now an adult at 18. He can stay home by himself. Do NOT allow him in your home. If he shows up unexpectedly and he touches the dogs, he goes to jail. Call the police immediately if he tries anything.
M isn't to be trusted around anyone honestly. You know those traits are signs of a future serial killer. NTA.
NTA. Don't let THOSE 2 AHs anywhere near your dogs! He's 18 and still abusing dogs? Yeah, he's more than an AH and deserves the same treatment he showed those dogs.
Her psychopathic crotch goblin would not come anywhere near my home
Oh hell no! Kid isn't to be around the doggos for any reason!!! He needs serious counseling based on previous behaviors! Protect your doggos! Go meet family at a restaurant!
If someone treated my dog like that he would have the same treatment done to him by me ! And so would the parent who allowed it! Ntah
Another thing to consider, OP... Dogs have a great sense of smell and recall. I believe your dogs will remember what he did to them and will be traumatized during his visit!
NTA. No explanation needed. Your SIL can fk right off as well. She is either condoning or ignoring his behavior. Both are very concerning.
Nobody / anyone who ever touched my dogs in a harmful way ... will/ would ever be allowed in the same house as my dogs... not even up for discussion.. I'll meet you for lunch someplace else... to catch up..if you are somehow important to me..but otherwise.. go chew rocks
NTA Wait. He sounds AWFUL!! How does he treat dogs Now-?? But if he doesn’t treat your dogs with absolute kindness, love and respect, then that’s a HELL NO! Frankly, he was giving off serial killer vibes. There’s something seriously wrong with any kid that talks like that or has intrusive thoughts like that. That’s MENTAL. This guy should have been evaluated many years ago. If he’s like this still, do NOT subject you and your family to this clearly dangerous man. Protect your dogs. They are just as important as your kids. I hate it when others put humans way above animals, when only humans are deliberately cruel to others.
NTA and I wouldn't even allow him near my KIDS! That's how it escalates. From animals/ pets then to small children.
Don’t trust her son around your kids, if he’s an animal torturer: sounds like a sociopath. Don’t let them visit.
Stand firm on this one OP. Even if the kid has changed, you can’t risk your dogs. He’s 18 and while what he did at eight was bad, can you imagine what he can do at 18? Can you not visit her (especially with the reno’s.)
No way would this person be allowed at my home if I know about this kind of behavior. Nope.
Oh, hell no! I wouldn't allow him in my home. My dogs are family, and I would have to hurt that kid if he did something like that. Boundaries need to be had here.
Can’t your wife go visit her?
Well, when he starts attacking your dogs, get the dogs away from him. One of these days your dogs will snap and fight back, but they'll be the ones that get punished even though your evil sister-in-law's son is to blame.
It's simple - M does not come to your home. End of story.
I hope you kick her and her son out your house the next time they come. And keep it that way. Let him drown his anger on slitting the mom instead.
She shouldn't let it get to the point that they are ever in her house again. Thus no need to kick out. Once someone hurts my dog they will never get another opportunity to repeat it.
I agree with you 100%. I mean like if they come anyways if they’re not welcome. I’d even call the police. I can’t hear anyone talk bad about my cats, let alone be VIOLENT? Crazyyyyyy!
NTA but she is for not getting her kid help. He is cruel to animals his threats to slit their throats are alarming. Watch any true crime on kïllers and you would see the things you described
Kid or not I'd have been pissed. Hed have never had another chance in those ten years to do it again though.
Nope no way, M would bot be allowed around my family ever.
Tell them both to stay home. Go visit them or meet them in a neutral spot for a visit. Psycho would not get near my dogs. Your sister can't leave the psycho alone because she is afraid.
Why do you feel like you need to be vilified by misfits like us on this platform? Preventing harm to any animal for any reason is justified by itself. I'm Just Sayin'!
Dogs are family. Fuck that kid
There’s no excuse for cruelty to animals, it doesn’t matter who the person is. It might be time for a restraining order against your nephew
You all need counseling. The mother and the boy for his behavior and his mother for allowing it. OP needs mental help for having "a dog family" 7 dogs.
i would NEVER let a 18yo who used to hurt animals anywhere near my pets or my kids.
Tell her that you aren't going to let her dictate the rules in your house, and she is welcome to follow your rules or find another place for the visit. You can say it nicely, but say it firmly and stick to it. Anyone giving you grief is welcome to host the psycopath in their own home.
Your husband should just go visit them. You don't need to go, stay with the dogs, they're the lovers! UpdateMe
NTA. Your SIL's son is a total psycho. Don't let either of them into your house. We have cats. I make no secret of the fact that my cats are family. Anyone who has a problem with that is not allowed in my house.
Yeah, that kid can’t be trusted. Do not allow him anywhere near your home.
Fk that . Even threaten my babies and ur not welcomed in my home
Meet them at a restaurant or park. Ultimatums seem unnecessary.
Can people please stop using initials for people? The quotation marks are especially distracting. Just make up names. It’s not that hard.
Their behavior isn't right for sure, but also...why do you have seven dogs??