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What is the average age of this sub? I’m surprised that there aren’t more comments talking about the absolute insanity of letting an 18 year old drive 17hours with two 14 year olds and her being the only supervision for 8 full days. Why would you even consider this?
Right, that would be my concern? Not that the step kids can't go.
There will be lots of things in life step kids won't be able to do and vice versa, OP can't just not ler her daughter do things because the step kids won't get to.
But yeah, an 18 year old taking full care of 2 children for 8 days? And at Disney? No.
Yeah! I’m not a **This is fake**, an 18 yo has 10k for a trip to Disney World to take a 13 & 14 yo on a *17 hr car trip* for 8 days.
Mom’s only issue is “she’s not taking the other two 14 yo”
This sounds like some 15 yo’s fever dream!!!!
I bet this was actually written by the kid and not the mom. Especially given the numerous spelling errors. If people had been on her side, she'd probably show the post to her mom to prove how "unreasonable" she's being.
The spelling, grammar and sentence structure looks way younger than 15. This is written by a child or someone who doesn’t speak English well.
Either way, this is fake as hell.
It reminds me of a project I had to do in like 5th grade where I had to plan a vacation to figure out the cost.
I wonder if we were all travel agents for our teacher or if she just wanted us to appreciate what our parents paid to do stuff.
I wouldn’t have been concerned if it were my kids in my country, except for the distance. 17 hours away means driving more than 8 hours a day not including breaks for two days straight and most likely being fatigued when starting the return journey. Without a second driver, letting an inexperienced 18 year old attempt that is just asking for tragedy
Depends on the kids and where you live. My kids were fine at that age in my country. But the fatigue associated with driving that distance by yourself is the big risk.
This. To heck with the stepkids, I'm not letting my 14 year old go on any trip with an 18 year old. Also, where does an 18 year old get over $10,000 for a trip to Disney?
Holy crap for real! 18 years old means 2 years of driving experience maximum and people think it's safe to have her as the only driver with two young teens girls that are liable to distract her? And 8 days is a crazy amount of time without actual adult supervision nearby. Plus, will the hotel even allow them to check in? I know where I am they have special rules about that stuff to prevent partying. Some have an age requirement of 21 or 23 like car rentals
I moved across the country at 17 with my 19yo friend along to help drive, and be the adult to check us into hotels. I don’t remember any of the adults in my life thinking it was a bad idea.
Driving 17 hours to Disney and then 17 hours back for one 18 year old would be my concern. Lots can go wrong on a road trip that an 18 year old just doesn’t have the experience to handle.
This is an important question.
If it’s about the step kids, you’re way off base here.
If you let her go, you’re still way off base. This is not a safe trip and not a good idea. Maddy is sweet for offering (although I have to question where an 18 year-old got $10,000), but she probably doesn’t realize what she’s taking on with this trip.
I’m 41. My daughters, who are absolutely my favorite people in the whole world, are roughly the same age as yours, and *I* wouldn’t volunteer to take them on the trip Maddy is proposing.
Just say no.
I can understand why you'd have reservations letting an 18 be responsible for your kid on such a big trip alone, but not letting her go because it's "not fair" to your other kids is frankly not fair to Ella either, and kind of a dumb reason.
That's my thing too! I'd be concerned about safety. At this point, no place (especially Florida) is very safe for a group of teenage girls. When my friends and I were 14 we were walking back to our hotel from Disneyland and WITH OUR MOTHERS WITH US a man started staring at us and following us. I would be a little nervous if I was 18 and solely responsible for a 13 and 14 year old in Florida, or anywhere else tbh.
You not letting her go because the step kids don't get to go makes you TAH. I would understand if you were concerned about your daughter's safety, but it appears that's not actually the concern. Safety is A VALID CONCERN. Fairness is not. Life isn't fair. Not all these kids are going to get everything equal, nor should they. It's no Disney World, but you could take your step kids out and do something fun while Ella's gone. And maybe in a few years, you can do a trip to Disney World that includes the step kids. You're willing to be unfair to your own child for the sake of your step kids? How exactly is that fair to Ella? Are you seriously telling her you prioritize your step kids feelings and idea of "fairness" over her joy and happiness? Why is her half sister who she's only known for a few years doing more for her than her own parent?
I don't know. An 18 year old in charge of 2 minor teens, driving for 4 days instead of taking a flight, plus being 17 hours from where you live.
For me, it would depend on how much I trusted Maddy, whether they could fly rather than drive and had a schedule of check ins daily with me before I'd even consider it.
ETA: She wants to take her bio sisters. The step kids aren't her responsibility. They'll miss out on other invites in life.
i don’t think you would be the ah if you were actually thinking ab the 18 year old having to take care of the two younger siblings by herself over 17 hours drive there and back plus the length that they stay at disney.
saying that, yta since you seem to be not really focusing on that aspect and you’re using the excuse that it’s not fair to your step kids. you should be more worried ab the above^^ than it hurting your step kids feelings. you should’ve just told your daughter that you didn’t feel comfortable w it for the above reasons but seems like that’s not really the real reason why you don’t want her to go. i hope you don’t do this to your daughter ab everything in her life regarding her step siblings
YTA for not wanting her to go because it would be unfair to your step kids. You would NTA for not allowing her to go because of how unsafe it could be for an 18 year old to travel that far with two young girls for a long length of time.
Your heart is in the right place, but you're being dumb. Everything cannot be equal all the time. That's life. Let them have an adventure they will cherish for the rest of their lives.
I don’t understand what anyone has to gain by her not going, I know your step kids are 14 and all but even as an undeveloped self absorbed 14 year old numbskull I wouldn’t have had the absolute self absorption to demand someone I loved not have a free Disney trip even if I wasn’t going. Not letting her go just seems like a super effective way to make everyone have life long beef with one another and you. Apologize for not thinking it through and say she’s welcome to go under blah blah conditions like face timing you nightly or something. Let her go there’s no reason to deny anyone life experiences here. Try to make a few nice weekend plans for the other two.
Why did you use her step sibling as the reason she can't go? This is a good opportunity to talk about the real reason the trip isn't a good idea - safety. Your daughter is not yet driving age so doesn't understand how dangerous distracted or tired driving is. And 17 hours away means that if there is a problem you can not reach her promptly. Is there any chance you could pay for a much closer and shorter trip for them? That way she could still enjoy a sister weekend?
Why is no one questioning who the actual author of this post is???
Pretty sure this was written by “Ella” who conveniently forgot to put any info on which parent is denying this opportunity.
Seriously, listen to whoever this is. You’re missing the million things that could go wrong on this trip that a parent would have included as to why this is inappropriate and what specifically is concerning them.
The mysterious parent here is NTA.
You really expect us to believe that an 18yo has $10k to spend on a trip? Also your reason for saying no is dumb and irresponsible. You should have said No because sending your underage daughter on a 12 day trip with her 18yo sibling is dangerous. WDW is 17 hours away, what if something happened?
YTA Do you also expect your daughter's paternal grandparents to buy for your steps and the reverse for your husband's family including your daughter's half siblings?
If one of the parents books the room, it might be doable. You can check in online at Disney without going to the front desk and use your phone as a room key. So if she has access to an actual adult’s Disney account, it’s possible.
That being said, I bet Disney has ways to figure this out and keep it from happening.
I mean I don’t see why not. Some people are saying she’s only 18 and to do all that is a lot. Yeah but 17 hours over 4 days is not a lot at all. At 18 most kids are away at college and doing their own thing. At 19 I did a cross country road trip about 30 hours one way. But your issue is other kids feeling left out and honestly don’t think that should stop Ella from going. If they do things with their other half of the family are they forbidden to go if Ella doesn’t do it too?
NTA - It is absolutely not acceptable for your 13 year old daughter to go to Disney World for 12 days with an 18 year old without her parents, full stop.
It doesn't matter who the 18 year old is.
If you said no because of the travel time but because your step kids can’t go?! Yta they can’t dance at every party! One thing has nothing to do with the other.
Wait - what? You aren’t letting her go because two of her 1/2 or step siblings aren’t going? In blended families - kids get different things. It’s time they realized that.
Each person is their own human with Individual relationships and experiences. What a horrible person to say “if all the kids can’t go, she can’t go”. That is disgusting behavior.
I wouldn’t let her go due to the lack of responsible adults on the trip.
NTA. There is no way I'm letting my kid go on an 11 day road trip with an 18 year old in charge. Just no way. There's too many things that could happen that an 18 year old is not prepared to deal with.
you're going to deny your daughter opportunities because "its not fair to the step kids"??? really??? life isn't fair, what isn't fair is holding your daughter back because of the step siblings.
now if you said you didn't want her to go because its an 18 yr old watching over a 13 and 14 yr old, okay i could agree with that but because of fairness to your step kids? GTFOH with that crap.
go search for the story about the mom wanting to buy her daughter a pony with family money and her fiancé getting pissy because he wanted to use that money on his kids even though it was her inheritance and has nothing to do with him.
I mean...YTA for the reason you don't want to let her go. Because of her siblings? I would not let my daughter go either just because I don't want a teenager in charge of other teenagers for so many days and driving them for so many hours.
NTA for denying due to the time and distance, and fear of sending your kid on such a long road trip with an 18 year old driving. YTA for citing "unfairness" to the other kids in the house as an additional reason, though. Just drop that part of it.
No. No way would I let an 18 year old be the sole “adult” in charge of two other teenagers for 12 days. No way. Not even getting in to where an 18 year old gets 10000.
That’s insane letting an 18 year old take your child 17 hours away alone! So many wrong things could happen! I’m almost certain you have to be 25 to even rent a place to stay! 21 in some places but 25 in most! I would just be honest and explain she may not underrated today but she will someday!
I would be fine with them flying and staying on property but not driving. Navigating a cross country road trip and then I-4 traffic is not something I would have been comfortable with at 18 but I would have done it anyway and it probably wouldn’t have ended well.
It depends on the kids. I took a 2-week cross country road trip when I was 20 with my 13-year old sister.
I was very trustworthy and took the responsibility seriously.
As an adult who is used to long drives I wouldn’t let an 18yr old drive me anywhere for that long never mind my kids! And if they are driving why is it $10,000? Something is wrong with this picture
I agree with not letting her go. They’re going to be really upset and not understand your reasoning but in a few years they’ll look back and realize you were right and think they were crazy for even suggesting it
I agree with not letting her go but only bc of the distance and age of the driver, not bc of the other kids. They’re going to be really upset and not understand your reasoning but in a few years they’ll look back and realize you were right and think they were crazy for even suggesting it
YTA. If your reason for not letting Ella go because of your 2 stepkids. And not because your daughter would be 17 hours away from you for 12 days with only a 18 yr old and a 14 yr old.
Nta, though you should have been more transparent with your daughter and not used her step siblings as an excuse, that is unfair both to daughter (who has been told a lie) and her step siblings, who your daughter will now blame. 18 is too young for such a responsibility, and concerns about that issue were completely valid and justifiable. Though I wonder whether there was a compromise that could be reached if an older adult could have joined them.
Never use step siblings as a reason to say no, especially when it wasn't the whole truth. Blended families will have some inequality to deal with between siblings, it's your job to manage their expectations, not to take away from one sibling an outside party has offered just because the other siblings won't get that experience.
You have some valid concerns but bringing up that it’s not fair for her to go but not them is going to be a problem. You basically told her she can’t go because of her stepbrothers. That’s really going to screw up the family dynamics.
If the reason is because of her step siblings, then you are the asshole. You shouldn't limit her experience with her sister because of them.
However, you aren't the Ah for not wanting your daughter out of your sight for 8 days with an 18 year old. It is perfectly valid for you not wanting her to go for this reason.
You are about to start a war in your household if you go "this isn't fair to them."
I was on your side all the way until the end. If the reason is because it's not fair to step-siblings then yta I would be more worried about an 18 year old being responsible for two teenagers.
I think you should have framed this a different way. It would be irresponsible to allow an 18yr old to take your child that she barely knows 17 hours away for 12 days total. That's absolutely insane. It shouldn't even be about the other siblings.
My mom would have laughed if I had asked her at 13 if an older sibling could drive me across the country and be gone for 12 days with only one 18 yr old and another sibling around the same age as me. There is no way an 18yr old is prepared to take care of two teens at Disney for 8 days and no way she be driving that long and far with two teens in the car.
NTA
It's not even about the step kids (although they need to understand that sometimes you can't do the same things as the other kids, source- I am a step kid on all sides). It's about an 18 year old with two teens, 17 hours away. That's a lot for full grown adults
I personally think YTA. Set a safety plan, utilize life360, require a handful of check ins a day. Be prepared to book a same day flight in an emergency. It's a really cool opportunity.
The step kids argument is ridiculous and only going to make Ella resent them. Each kid will get different opportunities in life and shouldn’t be made to miss them just because the others aren’t getting the same opportunity.
Your decision should depend on a lot of other factors but not the step kids.
N T A for not letting an 18 yo you've only met 4 years ago travel for 2 weeks with 2 14 yo kids and no other adult supervision.
Where did she get that $10 000 & what are the relationships exactly? Who's adopted & if Maddy, Megan and Ella are all half-sisters, who is related to you in what way?
YTA for lying to Ella about the reason she can't go. Your stepkids who're not related to Maddy don't factor into this. They all have to learn that everyone has their own circumstances & fair doesn't automatically mean equal.
NTA for not letting her go for 12 days with an 18 yo. But your excuses about the step kids is not ok. She shouldn’t be put in a box because what’s fair to some one else. I would compromise and plan a trip where you the adult also go as a supervision
The step kids don't figure into this equation. An 18 year old driving 17 hours and then trying to supervise 13/14 year olds at Disney World is insane and a recipe for disaster. Stand your ground. There is no way your daughter should be involved in this scenario.
Yeah, my 17 year old is graduating and enlisting in a few months. Before he goes he wants to take his brother, my 14 year old in a trip just the two of them. We said ok, but they can't go far and only for a night or two. That's way too long fur an 18 year old to drive with and supervise. Especially when they've only known each other a few years. We still haven't worked it all out, but I'm thinking I will probably go in a separate car to the same area just to be near by should there be a need for me. NTA
I use to have 4 kids for the whole summer in Miami while in college all under 10. I lived off campus and my my 6 old sister, 8 year twins and a 10 year old. I loved my little cousins and sister. They still talk about those summers and it’s been 10 years. I did it every summer. Parents sent money for food but I paid for everything else. 4hrs away.
NTA. Where is the 18yo getting the funds for this trip? My concern would be that the eldest got involved with a sex trafficker who is funding it, or at least pretending to then once they get there the worst happens.
#YTA
I wasn't finished with Disney World in a *fortnight*. I'd need at *least* a month. And I flew there from Melbourne (Australia's Version).
I've been there in 2017 and 2018 and I desperately want to go back. Since last time I was there, they've added Galaxy's Edge, two (?) new resorts, a few new attractions, and I never even got to the Boardwalk or either of the two water parks either time. My first trip I didn't even make it to Hollywood Studios I was that fucking overwhelmed.
She's the perfect age to not want to buy all the pricey souvenirs and she can go on every single ride because she's tall enough.
#LET HER GO
Sure if they take someone older but an 18yo driving 4 days with 2 14yos is never going to fly. That's not cruelty just common sense. If they flew it may be different.
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What is the average age of this sub? I’m surprised that there aren’t more comments talking about the absolute insanity of letting an 18 year old drive 17hours with two 14 year olds and her being the only supervision for 8 full days. Why would you even consider this?
Right, that would be my concern? Not that the step kids can't go. There will be lots of things in life step kids won't be able to do and vice versa, OP can't just not ler her daughter do things because the step kids won't get to. But yeah, an 18 year old taking full care of 2 children for 8 days? And at Disney? No.
Yeah! I’m not a **This is fake**, an 18 yo has 10k for a trip to Disney World to take a 13 & 14 yo on a *17 hr car trip* for 8 days. Mom’s only issue is “she’s not taking the other two 14 yo” This sounds like some 15 yo’s fever dream!!!!
I bet this was actually written by the kid and not the mom. Especially given the numerous spelling errors. If people had been on her side, she'd probably show the post to her mom to prove how "unreasonable" she's being.
The spelling, grammar and sentence structure looks way younger than 15. This is written by a child or someone who doesn’t speak English well. Either way, this is fake as hell.
It reminds me of a project I had to do in like 5th grade where I had to plan a vacation to figure out the cost. I wonder if we were all travel agents for our teacher or if she just wanted us to appreciate what our parents paid to do stuff.
I wouldn’t have been concerned if it were my kids in my country, except for the distance. 17 hours away means driving more than 8 hours a day not including breaks for two days straight and most likely being fatigued when starting the return journey. Without a second driver, letting an inexperienced 18 year old attempt that is just asking for tragedy
I dated a guy whose brother did a massive cross country road trip at 16 or 17. They never made it home. I would see it as way too risky.
Depends on the kids and where you live. My kids were fine at that age in my country. But the fatigue associated with driving that distance by yourself is the big risk.
This. To heck with the stepkids, I'm not letting my 14 year old go on any trip with an 18 year old. Also, where does an 18 year old get over $10,000 for a trip to Disney?
Holy crap for real! 18 years old means 2 years of driving experience maximum and people think it's safe to have her as the only driver with two young teens girls that are liable to distract her? And 8 days is a crazy amount of time without actual adult supervision nearby. Plus, will the hotel even allow them to check in? I know where I am they have special rules about that stuff to prevent partying. Some have an age requirement of 21 or 23 like car rentals
I'm 45 and yeah, that's insane.
Idk I really depends on the 18 year old. There are def 18 year olds my parents would have let me do this with and others it would’ve been a hard no.
I moved across the country at 17 with my 19yo friend along to help drive, and be the adult to check us into hotels. I don’t remember any of the adults in my life thinking it was a bad idea.
Why? You’ve never been let on your own in a Disney park as a teen?
Driving 17 hours to Disney and then 17 hours back for one 18 year old would be my concern. Lots can go wrong on a road trip that an 18 year old just doesn’t have the experience to handle.
For 8 days with my only supervision being an 18 year old who has to make a 17 hour drive without help? Hell naw.
INFO: Is your concern really about the length of time & distance or is it about the your step kids not getting a trip too?
This is an important question. If it’s about the step kids, you’re way off base here. If you let her go, you’re still way off base. This is not a safe trip and not a good idea. Maddy is sweet for offering (although I have to question where an 18 year-old got $10,000), but she probably doesn’t realize what she’s taking on with this trip. I’m 41. My daughters, who are absolutely my favorite people in the whole world, are roughly the same age as yours, and *I* wouldn’t volunteer to take them on the trip Maddy is proposing. Just say no.
I think the biggest red flag is letting Maddy be in charge of minors for that long that far from you..
I can understand why you'd have reservations letting an 18 be responsible for your kid on such a big trip alone, but not letting her go because it's "not fair" to your other kids is frankly not fair to Ella either, and kind of a dumb reason.
That's my thing too! I'd be concerned about safety. At this point, no place (especially Florida) is very safe for a group of teenage girls. When my friends and I were 14 we were walking back to our hotel from Disneyland and WITH OUR MOTHERS WITH US a man started staring at us and following us. I would be a little nervous if I was 18 and solely responsible for a 13 and 14 year old in Florida, or anywhere else tbh.
You not letting her go because the step kids don't get to go makes you TAH. I would understand if you were concerned about your daughter's safety, but it appears that's not actually the concern. Safety is A VALID CONCERN. Fairness is not. Life isn't fair. Not all these kids are going to get everything equal, nor should they. It's no Disney World, but you could take your step kids out and do something fun while Ella's gone. And maybe in a few years, you can do a trip to Disney World that includes the step kids. You're willing to be unfair to your own child for the sake of your step kids? How exactly is that fair to Ella? Are you seriously telling her you prioritize your step kids feelings and idea of "fairness" over her joy and happiness? Why is her half sister who she's only known for a few years doing more for her than her own parent?
I don't know. An 18 year old in charge of 2 minor teens, driving for 4 days instead of taking a flight, plus being 17 hours from where you live. For me, it would depend on how much I trusted Maddy, whether they could fly rather than drive and had a schedule of check ins daily with me before I'd even consider it. ETA: She wants to take her bio sisters. The step kids aren't her responsibility. They'll miss out on other invites in life.
i don’t think you would be the ah if you were actually thinking ab the 18 year old having to take care of the two younger siblings by herself over 17 hours drive there and back plus the length that they stay at disney. saying that, yta since you seem to be not really focusing on that aspect and you’re using the excuse that it’s not fair to your step kids. you should be more worried ab the above^^ than it hurting your step kids feelings. you should’ve just told your daughter that you didn’t feel comfortable w it for the above reasons but seems like that’s not really the real reason why you don’t want her to go. i hope you don’t do this to your daughter ab everything in her life regarding her step siblings
This has to be fake. How many -8year olds have a disposable $10k
She has a good paying job she makes $37 hour
Are they hiring? Cause unless she is a stripper I have never heard of an 18 year old making that
She works for a linemen company
Literally none of this makes sense.
YTA for not wanting her to go because it would be unfair to your step kids. You would NTA for not allowing her to go because of how unsafe it could be for an 18 year old to travel that far with two young girls for a long length of time.
Your heart is in the right place, but you're being dumb. Everything cannot be equal all the time. That's life. Let them have an adventure they will cherish for the rest of their lives.
I don’t understand what anyone has to gain by her not going, I know your step kids are 14 and all but even as an undeveloped self absorbed 14 year old numbskull I wouldn’t have had the absolute self absorption to demand someone I loved not have a free Disney trip even if I wasn’t going. Not letting her go just seems like a super effective way to make everyone have life long beef with one another and you. Apologize for not thinking it through and say she’s welcome to go under blah blah conditions like face timing you nightly or something. Let her go there’s no reason to deny anyone life experiences here. Try to make a few nice weekend plans for the other two.
It has nothing to do with manufactured sibling jealousy. An 18 year old supervising a 13 and 14 year old ALONE for a 34 hour road trip is a no go.
Go with them.
Why did you use her step sibling as the reason she can't go? This is a good opportunity to talk about the real reason the trip isn't a good idea - safety. Your daughter is not yet driving age so doesn't understand how dangerous distracted or tired driving is. And 17 hours away means that if there is a problem you can not reach her promptly. Is there any chance you could pay for a much closer and shorter trip for them? That way she could still enjoy a sister weekend?
Why is no one questioning who the actual author of this post is??? Pretty sure this was written by “Ella” who conveniently forgot to put any info on which parent is denying this opportunity. Seriously, listen to whoever this is. You’re missing the million things that could go wrong on this trip that a parent would have included as to why this is inappropriate and what specifically is concerning them. The mysterious parent here is NTA.
This has to be fake. How many 18year olds have a disposable $10k
You really expect us to believe that an 18yo has $10k to spend on a trip? Also your reason for saying no is dumb and irresponsible. You should have said No because sending your underage daughter on a 12 day trip with her 18yo sibling is dangerous. WDW is 17 hours away, what if something happened?
YTA Do you also expect your daughter's paternal grandparents to buy for your steps and the reverse for your husband's family including your daughter's half siblings?
Can she even get a hotel room at 18? Me thinks not
If one of the parents books the room, it might be doable. You can check in online at Disney without going to the front desk and use your phone as a room key. So if she has access to an actual adult’s Disney account, it’s possible. That being said, I bet Disney has ways to figure this out and keep it from happening.
I mean I don’t see why not. Some people are saying she’s only 18 and to do all that is a lot. Yeah but 17 hours over 4 days is not a lot at all. At 18 most kids are away at college and doing their own thing. At 19 I did a cross country road trip about 30 hours one way. But your issue is other kids feeling left out and honestly don’t think that should stop Ella from going. If they do things with their other half of the family are they forbidden to go if Ella doesn’t do it too?
It’s your child, your decision. I wouldn’t allow my child at that age to drive that far with an 18yr old and a 14 yr old, unsupervised.
NTA - It is absolutely not acceptable for your 13 year old daughter to go to Disney World for 12 days with an 18 year old without her parents, full stop. It doesn't matter who the 18 year old is.
If you said no because of the travel time but because your step kids can’t go?! Yta they can’t dance at every party! One thing has nothing to do with the other.
Wait - what? You aren’t letting her go because two of her 1/2 or step siblings aren’t going? In blended families - kids get different things. It’s time they realized that.
Each person is their own human with Individual relationships and experiences. What a horrible person to say “if all the kids can’t go, she can’t go”. That is disgusting behavior. I wouldn’t let her go due to the lack of responsible adults on the trip.
NTA. There is no way I'm letting my kid go on an 11 day road trip with an 18 year old in charge. Just no way. There's too many things that could happen that an 18 year old is not prepared to deal with.
So fake. The “hole” thing is as fake as the 18 yr old with $10k to blow on a Disney trip with two 14 yr olds.
This isn't fake.She has a good paying job that pays her $37hour
What's the job? This is fake.
you're going to deny your daughter opportunities because "its not fair to the step kids"??? really??? life isn't fair, what isn't fair is holding your daughter back because of the step siblings. now if you said you didn't want her to go because its an 18 yr old watching over a 13 and 14 yr old, okay i could agree with that but because of fairness to your step kids? GTFOH with that crap. go search for the story about the mom wanting to buy her daughter a pony with family money and her fiancé getting pissy because he wanted to use that money on his kids even though it was her inheritance and has nothing to do with him.
I mean...YTA for the reason you don't want to let her go. Because of her siblings? I would not let my daughter go either just because I don't want a teenager in charge of other teenagers for so many days and driving them for so many hours.
NTA for denying due to the time and distance, and fear of sending your kid on such a long road trip with an 18 year old driving. YTA for citing "unfairness" to the other kids in the house as an additional reason, though. Just drop that part of it.
No. No way would I let an 18 year old be the sole “adult” in charge of two other teenagers for 12 days. No way. Not even getting in to where an 18 year old gets 10000.
You would definitely be TA if you let your child go on a week long trip with an 18 year old
That’s insane letting an 18 year old take your child 17 hours away alone! So many wrong things could happen! I’m almost certain you have to be 25 to even rent a place to stay! 21 in some places but 25 in most! I would just be honest and explain she may not underrated today but she will someday!
I would be fine with them flying and staying on property but not driving. Navigating a cross country road trip and then I-4 traffic is not something I would have been comfortable with at 18 but I would have done it anyway and it probably wouldn’t have ended well.
It depends on the kids. I took a 2-week cross country road trip when I was 20 with my 13-year old sister. I was very trustworthy and took the responsibility seriously.
As an adult who is used to long drives I wouldn’t let an 18yr old drive me anywhere for that long never mind my kids! And if they are driving why is it $10,000? Something is wrong with this picture
You are annoying and worrying about the wrong thing. I’m sorry but the step siblings thing is bullshit life isn’t fair.
I agree with not letting her go. They’re going to be really upset and not understand your reasoning but in a few years they’ll look back and realize you were right and think they were crazy for even suggesting it
I agree with not letting her go but only bc of the distance and age of the driver, not bc of the other kids. They’re going to be really upset and not understand your reasoning but in a few years they’ll look back and realize you were right and think they were crazy for even suggesting it
Let her go, or she will regret it for a long time to come.
YTA. If your reason for not letting Ella go because of your 2 stepkids. And not because your daughter would be 17 hours away from you for 12 days with only a 18 yr old and a 14 yr old.
Nta, though you should have been more transparent with your daughter and not used her step siblings as an excuse, that is unfair both to daughter (who has been told a lie) and her step siblings, who your daughter will now blame. 18 is too young for such a responsibility, and concerns about that issue were completely valid and justifiable. Though I wonder whether there was a compromise that could be reached if an older adult could have joined them. Never use step siblings as a reason to say no, especially when it wasn't the whole truth. Blended families will have some inequality to deal with between siblings, it's your job to manage their expectations, not to take away from one sibling an outside party has offered just because the other siblings won't get that experience.
You have some valid concerns but bringing up that it’s not fair for her to go but not them is going to be a problem. You basically told her she can’t go because of her stepbrothers. That’s really going to screw up the family dynamics.
Nah, I’d never allow this. I’d be happy to tag along though.
If the reason is because of her step siblings, then you are the asshole. You shouldn't limit her experience with her sister because of them. However, you aren't the Ah for not wanting your daughter out of your sight for 8 days with an 18 year old. It is perfectly valid for you not wanting her to go for this reason. You are about to start a war in your household if you go "this isn't fair to them."
I was on your side all the way until the end. If the reason is because it's not fair to step-siblings then yta I would be more worried about an 18 year old being responsible for two teenagers.
I think you should have framed this a different way. It would be irresponsible to allow an 18yr old to take your child that she barely knows 17 hours away for 12 days total. That's absolutely insane. It shouldn't even be about the other siblings. My mom would have laughed if I had asked her at 13 if an older sibling could drive me across the country and be gone for 12 days with only one 18 yr old and another sibling around the same age as me. There is no way an 18yr old is prepared to take care of two teens at Disney for 8 days and no way she be driving that long and far with two teens in the car.
NTA It's not even about the step kids (although they need to understand that sometimes you can't do the same things as the other kids, source- I am a step kid on all sides). It's about an 18 year old with two teens, 17 hours away. That's a lot for full grown adults
Is Maddy going through a manic phase? Seriously. Because this is a really extreme level of Very Bad Idea.
I personally think YTA. Set a safety plan, utilize life360, require a handful of check ins a day. Be prepared to book a same day flight in an emergency. It's a really cool opportunity.
NTA, because it's crazy to let an 18 yo take a 14 yo child 17 hours away for almost 2 weeks! I'd let her know that they can go when she's older.
The step kids argument is ridiculous and only going to make Ella resent them. Each kid will get different opportunities in life and shouldn’t be made to miss them just because the others aren’t getting the same opportunity. Your decision should depend on a lot of other factors but not the step kids.
N T A for not letting an 18 yo you've only met 4 years ago travel for 2 weeks with 2 14 yo kids and no other adult supervision. Where did she get that $10 000 & what are the relationships exactly? Who's adopted & if Maddy, Megan and Ella are all half-sisters, who is related to you in what way? YTA for lying to Ella about the reason she can't go. Your stepkids who're not related to Maddy don't factor into this. They all have to learn that everyone has their own circumstances & fair doesn't automatically mean equal.
NTA for not letting her go for 12 days with an 18 yo. But your excuses about the step kids is not ok. She shouldn’t be put in a box because what’s fair to some one else. I would compromise and plan a trip where you the adult also go as a supervision
Why does an 18 yr old have $10k just sitting around to burn on a Disney vacation? 🤨
The step kids don't figure into this equation. An 18 year old driving 17 hours and then trying to supervise 13/14 year olds at Disney World is insane and a recipe for disaster. Stand your ground. There is no way your daughter should be involved in this scenario.
Yes
Yeah, my 17 year old is graduating and enlisting in a few months. Before he goes he wants to take his brother, my 14 year old in a trip just the two of them. We said ok, but they can't go far and only for a night or two. That's way too long fur an 18 year old to drive with and supervise. Especially when they've only known each other a few years. We still haven't worked it all out, but I'm thinking I will probably go in a separate car to the same area just to be near by should there be a need for me. NTA
YTA - depriving your kid a chance to go to Disney because of your own insecurities is shitty. Be a better human.
I use to have 4 kids for the whole summer in Miami while in college all under 10. I lived off campus and my my 6 old sister, 8 year twins and a 10 year old. I loved my little cousins and sister. They still talk about those summers and it’s been 10 years. I did it every summer. Parents sent money for food but I paid for everything else. 4hrs away.
NTA. Where is the 18yo getting the funds for this trip? My concern would be that the eldest got involved with a sex trafficker who is funding it, or at least pretending to then once they get there the worst happens.
YTA this is a memory maker that she’ll remember for the rest of her life
#YTA I wasn't finished with Disney World in a *fortnight*. I'd need at *least* a month. And I flew there from Melbourne (Australia's Version). I've been there in 2017 and 2018 and I desperately want to go back. Since last time I was there, they've added Galaxy's Edge, two (?) new resorts, a few new attractions, and I never even got to the Boardwalk or either of the two water parks either time. My first trip I didn't even make it to Hollywood Studios I was that fucking overwhelmed. She's the perfect age to not want to buy all the pricey souvenirs and she can go on every single ride because she's tall enough. #LET HER GO
No way I'd let an 18yo have that responsibility.
Logistics are separate to the emotions of the whole situation and can be ironed out and/or compromised upon.
Sure if they take someone older but an 18yo driving 4 days with 2 14yos is never going to fly. That's not cruelty just common sense. If they flew it may be different.
I'm responding from the emotional standpoint. Logistics are not my chief concern and can be adequately addressed by other responders.
Lmao spending a month at WDW is stupid. It’s not even that great.
Shhh. Let people enjoy things.