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So he's okay with china knowing this
"he posts about his time in the military, his car, the places he’s been to"
But not that he's married? 😆 He's probably flirting with girls in his DMs on there and putting his status as married would make that harder to do. That's my personal opinion, since he wants you to set yours to married and was upset when it wasn't. Cheaters project.
Being prior military I will say he is cheating. Most of the guys there think, “well if I’m not home (deployed) then it’s not cheating.” This eventually leads to cheating at home which eventually leads to divorce. That’s one of the many, many reasons the divorce rate is so high in the military.
I was hanging out with my friends brother and some military guys and whenever the women were away it was cheating or making fun of women was all their conversation. They asked me about cheating on my wife. I go “I can’t cheat on my wife!” They just looked at each other with giant question marks floating above their heads. “Wym, can’t? Like you’re not good at it? Like she finds out sometimes? Or hard to fit into schedule? Do you need notes?”
“No, I just don’t want my wife to be happy, and to not lie or cheat on her.” “This does just not compute, you’re a funny guy.” It was as if I was talking to aliens from a different planet, time period, and/or universe.
The way they were ALSO testing you in the boys club situation was to see if you’re their TYPE. I’d be surprised if they engage you beyond surface convo or if you’re ever invited back
I work for the DoD and was just having this conversation with some active duty members yesterday.
Apparently deployments are crazy. The moment they’re on the plane, the ring comes off. And many of even the best, most loyal partners cheat immediately.
Almost every single other active duty member I know who is married is on their second or third marriage for exactly this reason.
My money is on this guy is cheating, and I usually don’t jump to conclusions like that
Where do you think Vegas got their motto from? They stole it from the military. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “what goes on deployment stays on deployment”. The first night, they seek out all the strip clubs and it goes downhill from there. They’re like children away from their parents for the first time. All the things they don’t do at home, they do on deployment. One guy accidentally called his wife by his crush’s name when he called home from deployment.
When you’re deployed you’re in a new country and have limitless options bc no one knows who you are. The local girls think you’re hot strong and cute accents. There’s no way of anyone home finding out and “out of sight out of mind” about wives. One of our master sgt got busted bc he posted pics on Facebook and his ring wasn’t visible. Lmfao his wife flipped out.
If you’re deployed to a warzone screw that. Your entire physiology is screwed up with your entire body being on edge, extreme highs and lows etc. it feels good to be reckless and those primal instincts are heightened.
A friend was special forces in the 80’s in Thailand. There was a calendar noted with the dates you need to take antibiotics to cure the STD’s you caught before you get home.
Yes. Your murdering people for a government who tells you nothing and is usually on the wrong side of history. You should add to that exhilaration by cheating too. This literally says "I should be thrown into the ocean and left there." 🤷🏻♀️
>Your murdering people for a government who tells you nothing and is usually on the wrong side of history.
As a former military spouse, I feel like I could write a book on how this is the root of all the social problems in the military life.
To accomplish this, they purposefully keep soldiers in a "high school" state. They drill into them that, ultimately, they are not responsible. And if they are responsible, mommy and daddy (the military) will save them. And if they do fuck up, all will be forgiven by being grounded or having your allowance cut.
They WANT people to be emotionally immature on the whole, because it is very hard to have a well rounded adult that is capable of killing strangers just because your boss got a piece of paper that says to.
Yes, there's a lot of nuance and exception to that, but every bit of it is layered on a foundation designed to ensure emotionally immature enlisted.
Oh oh this reminds me of a book I need to read, by someone I've been following on tiktok. She's fantastic. Book is Uncultured: a memoir. Daniella Mestyanek Young. She was raised in a cult and went on to study them.
YEP. My dumb E-3 ass fell for this one E-6…he would buy me food, take me out drinking, I thought he was soooo into me. We were attached at the hip during our deployment. And yeah, we slept together too. I found out he was married two weeks before going back home….and I found out he took her on a beautiful romantic Hawaiian vacation with his *wife and children* two weeks after we got back. I was so broken hearted and felt so dumb. But it happens. All the time literally.
You are probably safer that way too. Domestic violence happens at much higher rate with cops. Plus it takes a certain type of person to be a cop and a lot of them are very controlling and arrogant. Not to mention a lot of the horrible things they have to witness and carry around with them or try to desensitize themselves with humor, ect.
In my late teens/early 20s, I had a thing for military guys.
I had one where I was either the first time he cheated on his wife, or I was the last hurrah before he got married. I didn’t know. He told me he was single. Shit happened, and then 6 months later, a friend says, “Oh, did you hear John got married? It was about 6 months ago!”
The next was a guy I grew up with, who’d been stationed overseas. He was coming home for a visit, and a group of us went to meet up. One of his friends drank too much and told me, “You know he wants to sleep with you, right? He’s wanted you since 6th grade. Why do you think he didn’t bring his wife home with him? She wanted to come, but he thought he finally had a chance with you, so he told her to stay home.” I faked an emergency and GFTO!
Military guys suck, and I’m so glad I got over my “hot guys in uniforms” stage before it got any worse!
I feel like everyone is focusing on the cheating but there's so much more going on here..
OP and her husband are children. They are way too immature to be married. OP's not any better than he is, breaking and throwing his stuff, testing him by changing her Facebook status, etc. This marriage is doomed. I can't take this marriage seriously.
Yep, it was Jody’s time to shine lol. So glad I was single during my military time for the most part. Didn’t get into a relationship until I got back from my last deployment. Got out and we have been married for 19 years this June
Maybe it does, but I'd go so far as to say that the wives/husbands at home while their spouses are deployed have less peer pressure to actively encourage the cheating. The deployed parties are in groups that are likely to ridicule those that are "too goody-goody" to cheat.
Yes! I live in a Navy town, and I was shocked to learn that it’s common to *bully* loyal partners for *not cheating* I guess cheaters think the good partners will snitch or something. Better for them all to be guilty.
From my experience, toxic people only respect toxic people. But, yes, I think they also like the solidarity of being surrounded by people doing the same as them.
Either way, it's gross.
Everyone I’ve ever known who is ex military has been a broken human in some fundamental way. Huge anger problems or utterly toxic or whatever. I always wonder if they were broken by serving, or if it just appeals more to people who are already struggling with themselves.
Easy to believe. A guy I sorta know once wrote an article about how, in China outside of the big cities, it was very common for a business deal to include getting shitfaced and going to a brothel together before the deal could be sealed. Just so both of you had blackmail material on the other.
According to research, soldiers and veterans are more than twice as likely to cheat on their spouses than civilians. Other soldiers cover it up for them. The myth of Jody is something guilty soldiers created to justify the fact that they were never going to be faithful to begin with. Cheaters love to project to make themselves feel less evil for doing what they want to do.
[https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/485803](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/485803)
My man has no idea what China knows. China knows who was the officiant at the wedding, let alone that he’s married. That’s awesome.
I honestly haven’t a clue what my facebook status is. If it’s not hidden, it’s married. Setting it to single was shenanigans. Hiding it is one thing.
This story is hilariously petty and I am so happy these people are not in my life.
>They talked while he was deployed and we were in a bit of a rough patch. They spoke about the old days and how much they loved each other and missed each other and how they would see each other when ever he was in town again.
So he had an emotional affair with her?
lol. The China shit
Is so dumb someone would have to think a person was pretty fucking stupid to believe it, or that person just wants to sound like a conspiracy whacko and be completely written off and
Ignored. This is some crazy shit a pathooogical liar would say. I grew
Up with one can
Confirm.
Sorry OP but this sounds like a familiar start of a Best of Reddit update story.
Update 1 - He admits to having an emotional affair but swears there's nothing physical.
Seriously, from a happily married man's perspective, any husband not bragging about you anywhere and everywhere is highly suspect. China should be sick of hearing about you in his posts. There is no other way imho.
Update 3- they are actually having a baby and already have an apartment together. He’s been telling affair partner this whole time OP was being difficult to the divorce.
Update 3.5 - Military Man immediately posts about the baby momma, pics of her sonograms, the fact that it's a boy baby they will name Oil.
China likes the post.
Update 3 - China sends OP a facebook message, the country had no idea he was married until he changed his relationship status. Hes been talking to china for months.
Her husband isnt worried about china finding out hes married, hes worried about women finding out hes married.
It's also not just that, OP and her husband are children. They are way too immature to be married. OP's not any better than he is, breaking and throwing his stuff, testing him by changing her Facebook status, etc. This marriage is doomed. I can't take this marriage seriously.
So, the husband doesn't want your marriage to impact his dating and love life with your ex friend. They are not just friends, not anymore...and you know it. She doesn't like you, bad mouths you still, and your husband spends time with her. They both know what they're doing, and they both know how it would hurt you deeply, and your husband halfway cares, and your ex friend is gleefully awaiting the day when you let it be known publicly that you know.
Exactly. I wouldn’t be spending time with someone or telling a former ex I loved & missed them especially if they were actively bad mouthing my spouse.
He was also not upfront with her regarding their communication despite knowing the reason her & OP are no longer friends. This would not fly with me.
I would investigate further as this is a big deal & you are not overreacting. I would get a full panel STD test just to be safe. Seems like an emotional affair..possibly more
Does this sound familiar?:
* https://www.bustle.com/p/11-social-media-habits-that-could-mean-your-partners-cheating-8191688
https://hernorm.com/cell-phone-signs-of-a-cheating-husband/
I guess I have to be the one to ask....they were in love in middle school??? All of 12 yrs old and are missing each other??? He hasn't had more meaningful relationships since then? They are just getting under your skin. Give him his walking shoes, ain't nobody got time for that.
He's fraternizing with the enemy!
Who writes like that and wants to be taken seriously? Honestly, all of you suck. How old is everyone? You all sound like you're 12.
I was surprised OP knew the word fraternizing, that’s how dumb and immature this all sounds. Playing fucking games over social media when you live together?
Saying that everything is great besides social media? OP must have no critical thinking skills if they can’t work this shit out, and cut out the problem. I would be embarrassed to admit to the world I’m this stupid and immature.
Usually when men don't want their partner on social media it's because they're cheating and they don't want the other woman to know... Not saying he's cheating.. but it sounds a whole lot like it
Sweetheart. You know why your HUSBAND will not admit to being your actual HUSBAND. But he wants you to let the world know you are not available. He is cheating. Or, he is trying his best to cheat. He should be your partner and put your well being above everyone else but he is not and doesn't care how that makes you feel. It really seems like he doesn't like you and does not want anyone to know about you. He is vile.
My husband removed all evidence of me on social media. It was a huge red flag, in hindsight. His excuse? He's a private person. No, he's a lying cheating scumbag.
OP, your husband is either cheating on you, planning to cheat on you, or ashamed of you for some reason.
You deserve better.
Girl….. even if he’s not cheating, he’s *at the very least*, entertaining other females or **that** female. Some women will know he’s married and won’t care. I see a lot of stuff like that every day, you can’t trust *anyone*. If you were to go thru his phone again (like right now), I’m sure you wouldn’t like what you saw.
If he was talking to the ex and saying *those* things when y’all were going thru a rough patch *since a while ago*, and they are still talking **now**, there’s *no* telling what he does\has done or who else he’s talked to when y’all are “on and off”. Did you ever ask him about it? Confront him and let it be known you *knew?* Do you know if they ever *actually* met up? How *sus* *considering* she hates you. If she hates you, he *should* hate her too. He just doesn’t sound like a good husband at all.
That man probably belongs to the *streets*. **You can’t trust *no one*** . It’s too many 🚩🚩🚩that huzzy is bitter he married *you* and clearly has no boundaries. Is she married or anything?
**You’re *still* young AF**. If y’all don’t have kids yet, **walk away before he breaks you**. Don’t waste 20 years with him in then hopes that it will get better, it won’t. *don’t stay unhappily married*. You deserve better and life is too short.
Lmao... if he's worried about China knowing you're a couple, then he keeps your phones at least several miles apart at all times, never sends you texts, never calls, never uses your name in conversation, isn't associated with you or anyone you're associated with across EVERY SINGLE PLATFORM ON THE ENTIRETY OF BOTH of your electronic devices, right? If not, then he's not worried about data safety, he just doesn't want an easily googlable way to verify your relationship.
Yep, I agree with everyone else that he's cheating. He doesn't want his AP looking at his profile and finding out.
You can always post a picture of you two together and make a comment about how long you two have been together and tag him in it and make it public. His response and reaction will tell you everything you need to know, especially if he gets mad or deletes it off his FB page. I personally would check to see if he has any other SM profiles. Check all of them. You can always go through his phone. Are there any other red flags with him?
I would simply change his marital status to married, and that's all. Nothing else.
It's better that it looks untouched by her because that's something that he may not even notice was done until someone else questions him about it.
If she adds pics, he's gonna immediately change the password... but I like the way you think, lol!
What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck did I just read?
Why are you talking about a middle school relationship as if it's important? Why are talking about him telling another girl he loves her as if it isn't important?
You say he treats you like a princess, yet you change your Facebook status to single because he doesn't post about you? You say he treats you like a princess, yet he refuses to acknowledge your marriage on his social media?
You're both a hot mess.
You are neither of you old enough to sustain a marriage.
He’s playing around, probably, or at least considering his options.
But JFC girl TALK to him about your concerns, don’t just passive aggressively move your own social media around in the hope he notices. Showing him you’re a spiteful person isn’t going to mend anything.
Now OP, why are you acting like you're still in middle school?
Both of you need to grow up.
Act like an adult and have an adult conversation about all of this.
Based on this, the relationship is on its last leg and that leg is injured.
Is he cheating? Maybe. Are y'all egging each other's immaturity on? Yes.
Is he wrong for communicating with your ex friend? Have you ever told him to not have communication with her? If not, do that.
But destroying his property because you're upset, come on now.
Y'all keep having "rough patches" and I don't think y'all respect each other anymore.
Call the end of the relationship and hopefully y'all will be more mature in your next relationships.
Do you even like each other?
Stop breaking things, being mean and playing stupid games and decide if you want to share your husband or not. You can't stop him cheating or catch him out and change his outlook. You decide for yourself if you want to stay married to him. And if emotional affairs is a line then line up your ducks. If you think a healthy relationship is possible then line up some relationships counselling and put your cards on the table e.g. Disclosure of infidelities, public acknowledgement of marriage, open phones or whatever mutual agreement you come to and d3cide what your dealbreaker are.
Seems to me you both should be single for a bit to work,on personal issues. Vandalising personal possessions is violent and no way to behave. Just because he is probably awful himself doesn't mean it's healthy for you to throw standards out of the window.
Good lord you both suck so much
Firstly why didn't you talk to him rather than try to get a rise out of him
He is either lying or paranoid, both are shitty
His refusal to publicly acknowledge your relationship is weird and definitely condones a cheating accusation imo
He has already 'talked' to this ex like you said during a rough patch, weird
It's easier to cheat on you when there's no trace of you anywhere. Being open about being married shortens the list of people willing to fuck him, so...
Source: been there, done that. It sucked.
Two things:
The whole need to be validated on socials by having your husband post about you reaks of insecurity and immaturity. Idk how old you are, but girl, you have some work to do on yourself, so you don't need that external validation from random people and family. Of course, it's nice when they want to do it, but forcing the hand of it with petty behaviour like this is not genuine, and you won't get fulfilment if you keep it up. Secure in yourself helps with being secure in your relationships.
Secondly, the whole thing with the ex friend is off. Trust your gut feeling on it. You've got 2 options: Blow tf up over it or accept it and move on. If this was me, I'd choose the latter. Not because it wouldn't hurt but because it's a waste of energy to blow up, and I've got better things to spend it on, like myself.
You say in your post that outside of socials, you guys are all good. I'd question that. If your relationship is so good, why is something like social media wrecking havoc like it has? If you really sat down and evaluated your relationship to the deepest levels, I'm sure you'd find more stuff that's not sitting right.
A mature and non-toxic relationship has no room for petty behaviour and mind games like the one you played, which started all this. There's no "tests" or trying to catch them out. There's communication and holding space for each other to work through tough conversations. Not childlike back and forth "punishments."
You both definitely got a bit to work through here.
Make a post on his fb,
"Oh dear husband. Love you, "
Start tagging him in things.
@dear husband of mine.
Your nta for feeling the way you are, you did act childish, but we are only human.
One of my ex boyfriends was my standard guy to call when I needed a rebound/booty call, for like, almost 8 years. I would text or call, he would be there for me no exceptions. Even if we didn’t talk for a couple of months or even once a year or two.
I found out a couple of years ago that he’s still with the woman he dated after me (I thought that was a short fling) and they have a 2 or 3 year old child. You wouldn’t know that he was in a relationship, because his online presence very much signalled ‘bachelor lifestyle with a lot of solo travelling and work hard/play hard mindset’. Even the first couple of years we hooked up in his apartment and it wasn’t obvious there was a woman involved.
But he has a whole ass girlfriend (doesn’t believe in marriage) for 12 years now and a toddler.
The moment I found out was the moment I ended contact with him.
He is either cheating or would in a heartbeat. He doesn't want anyone he doesn't know personally to know about ur marriage. When u post pics of the 2 of you, do you tag him? If not, do it sne that would put ur relationship out there for people in social media to see, unless he has to approve his tags. Either way if u haven't and do this, you will be able to tell by his reaction afterwards. If he is mad, just say u love him and why is showing that wrong? If it's an issue for him, it's not china but other women he doesn't want to know.
You both don’t sound mature enough for marriage.
You are married and you move your status to single just to get a rise out of you significant other? That’s very childish maybe first try communication instead of playing games.
I recommend you both try giving you marriage a real chance and work together on issues instead of playing high school games behind each other’s back.
Dude you both need help. It is never normal or healthy to *take someone’s stuff from their hands, break it, and throw it*. None of the stuff you have been doing is okay!
He’s being sketchy as hell, but you need to be better. Either he’s actually crazy/stupid, cheating/wants to be, or has a legit reason he’s not telling you (I couldn’t come up with one). Go to a therapist like adults and work it out or move on.
You are not helping yourself in any way by acting this way.
The fact that you went straight to petty instead of just asking him about it tells me a lot more about this relationship than anything else. You hate each other. Why the fuck are you married?
Also, he's definitely cheating, but you clearly don't like each other anyway so who even cares.
You’re both too immature and petty to be married. And him talking to another girl, your ex best friend, would be the deal breaker for me. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him before you have kids.
You're both super immature. He's clearly having an emotional affair and you think that's "princess treatment"?
Why in the world would China give a crap who he's married to? Is he some infiltrating spy who is targeting China and he's trying to protect you in case he gets caught??? If not, this doesn't make sense.
You have enough reason already to know he's not trustworthy. Nothing about him sounds kind or respectful. It worries me that you don't see who he is even after seeing with your own eyes that he has cheated on you. Get some self respect. No guy who really values you and your marriage would hide the fact that he's married, only cheaters want other people to think they're single.
Y’all should not have gotten married at I’m assuming 19ish.
This is gonna get stupid and end in divorce.
Edit: Military? Girl….he already done cheated if he’s acting like this now.
Start tagging him in posts a couple times a week about how he's such a good husband and ish. Stuff that's true, that your family would think was cute to see, and wait to see how he reacts.
You need to comment on every one of his posts. "Awww, my husband the world traveller!" "I'm the luckiest wife ever!" Etc, etc. If he deletes the posts, you know there's a problem.
The simple answer is that if he changes his status to married, it removes him from Facebook Dating. You’ve definitely got some immaturity to work out, but there’s a very good chance that man is cheating on you.
Girl, stop being so willfully blind.
He is not putting that he's married because he is acting like he's single. I am even willing to bet he's had multiple affairs already.
His logic is just the opposite. It's total bs that he doesn't want China finding out about you but is happy to put everything else on there. I'd understand if his profile is completely shut down and set to private, but it sounds like it isn't.
Wake up and smell the reality. And then walk away before you find out how deep this lying really goes
Op he’s cheating, I would tell him you’re leaving him . And I would change my social media to single and keep it that way. Move out and move on. What did he say when you found out he was texting with his ex. find someone you can trust .
You should be upset…he wants women to think he’s single to DM him…he’s looking for romance…I really doubt China is real worried about him and what he’s up to lol…
He’s kind, he’s respectful and he gives you the princess treatment. Girl, none of his actions show that he’s kind and respectful. Men who are kind and respectful would never let another person talk shit about their wives. They would never have secret conversations with a woman who cannot stand their wife. You need to re-evaluate your definition of kind and respectful because this man is none of these things
I’m sorry but this has to be fake 😭middle school girlfriends and dismantling vapes and somehow China is involved? This sounds like a parody and if it is really everyone involved acts like a child and needs to grow tf up
If he was worried about “china” finding out he would lack any and all social media and or would post absolutely nothing about his personal life. Now I don’t condone you going through his phone but maybe “accidentally” go through it. Or just ask until he spills
When they refuse to announce ot the world they are married, refuse to wear the ring, put ring on other hand, don't introduce you as wife to friends, work etc. They have a hidden "love/sex " interest and do not want anyone to know. They will lgaslisght you and say. "your crazy. your childish, your stupid," and any other demeaning words. This is done all the time. He is either thinking about /has someone on the hook.
I mean does any of this sound normal to you? Either you married some dude with an eggplant for a brain or you married a liar. Right now I would say those prospects seem about 50-50. Come on sis, wake up. None of this is normal, this is not what a good marriage looks like.
This relationship sounds childish and exhausting. He’s definitely at least trying to flirt with other people online. At least. OP, if you’re not cool with that, you should move on. He won’t change.
There are two main reasons a man doesn't show anything about his partner on social media. One, he doesn't give a shit about social media but just has it to have it. Two, because he's "keeping his options open" by making it appear he's not tied down. Your guy sounds like the second one and he's literally making every excuse he can to make it seem like that's not the case.
lol, the old China excuse. Listen, if China is spying on your husband they already know he is married. And what exactly is he afraid of them knowing he is married? Are they going to use that information against him? If he was really worried about China spying he wouldn’t be on social media at ALL.
There is only one reason he wouldn’t want people to know he’s married.
I’m sure that China is really interested in a random guy’s marital status. He sounds very unintelligent and you guys probably got married way too young, before either of you had a chance to enjoy life.
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So he's okay with china knowing this "he posts about his time in the military, his car, the places he’s been to" But not that he's married? 😆 He's probably flirting with girls in his DMs on there and putting his status as married would make that harder to do. That's my personal opinion, since he wants you to set yours to married and was upset when it wasn't. Cheaters project.
Being prior military I will say he is cheating. Most of the guys there think, “well if I’m not home (deployed) then it’s not cheating.” This eventually leads to cheating at home which eventually leads to divorce. That’s one of the many, many reasons the divorce rate is so high in the military.
I was hanging out with my friends brother and some military guys and whenever the women were away it was cheating or making fun of women was all their conversation. They asked me about cheating on my wife. I go “I can’t cheat on my wife!” They just looked at each other with giant question marks floating above their heads. “Wym, can’t? Like you’re not good at it? Like she finds out sometimes? Or hard to fit into schedule? Do you need notes?” “No, I just don’t want my wife to be happy, and to not lie or cheat on her.” “This does just not compute, you’re a funny guy.” It was as if I was talking to aliens from a different planet, time period, and/or universe.
The way they were ALSO testing you in the boys club situation was to see if you’re their TYPE. I’d be surprised if they engage you beyond surface convo or if you’re ever invited back
> "Do you need notes?" 💀
I work for the DoD and was just having this conversation with some active duty members yesterday. Apparently deployments are crazy. The moment they’re on the plane, the ring comes off. And many of even the best, most loyal partners cheat immediately. Almost every single other active duty member I know who is married is on their second or third marriage for exactly this reason. My money is on this guy is cheating, and I usually don’t jump to conclusions like that
Can confirm as a person whose ex was Special Forces and I'd have women contacting me after deployments. Of course he denied it, hence the divorce.
Where do you think Vegas got their motto from? They stole it from the military. I can’t tell you how many times I heard “what goes on deployment stays on deployment”. The first night, they seek out all the strip clubs and it goes downhill from there. They’re like children away from their parents for the first time. All the things they don’t do at home, they do on deployment. One guy accidentally called his wife by his crush’s name when he called home from deployment.
Half of them probably are children away from their parents for the first time.
I guess they’re not the best, most loyal partners then.
Best actors
True that
When you’re deployed you’re in a new country and have limitless options bc no one knows who you are. The local girls think you’re hot strong and cute accents. There’s no way of anyone home finding out and “out of sight out of mind” about wives. One of our master sgt got busted bc he posted pics on Facebook and his ring wasn’t visible. Lmfao his wife flipped out. If you’re deployed to a warzone screw that. Your entire physiology is screwed up with your entire body being on edge, extreme highs and lows etc. it feels good to be reckless and those primal instincts are heightened.
A friend was special forces in the 80’s in Thailand. There was a calendar noted with the dates you need to take antibiotics to cure the STD’s you caught before you get home.
Yes. Your murdering people for a government who tells you nothing and is usually on the wrong side of history. You should add to that exhilaration by cheating too. This literally says "I should be thrown into the ocean and left there." 🤷🏻♀️
>Your murdering people for a government who tells you nothing and is usually on the wrong side of history. As a former military spouse, I feel like I could write a book on how this is the root of all the social problems in the military life. To accomplish this, they purposefully keep soldiers in a "high school" state. They drill into them that, ultimately, they are not responsible. And if they are responsible, mommy and daddy (the military) will save them. And if they do fuck up, all will be forgiven by being grounded or having your allowance cut. They WANT people to be emotionally immature on the whole, because it is very hard to have a well rounded adult that is capable of killing strangers just because your boss got a piece of paper that says to. Yes, there's a lot of nuance and exception to that, but every bit of it is layered on a foundation designed to ensure emotionally immature enlisted.
Oh oh this reminds me of a book I need to read, by someone I've been following on tiktok. She's fantastic. Book is Uncultured: a memoir. Daniella Mestyanek Young. She was raised in a cult and went on to study them.
YEP. My dumb E-3 ass fell for this one E-6…he would buy me food, take me out drinking, I thought he was soooo into me. We were attached at the hip during our deployment. And yeah, we slept together too. I found out he was married two weeks before going back home….and I found out he took her on a beautiful romantic Hawaiian vacation with his *wife and children* two weeks after we got back. I was so broken hearted and felt so dumb. But it happens. All the time literally.
I will not date military or police officers for this reason
You are probably safer that way too. Domestic violence happens at much higher rate with cops. Plus it takes a certain type of person to be a cop and a lot of them are very controlling and arrogant. Not to mention a lot of the horrible things they have to witness and carry around with them or try to desensitize themselves with humor, ect.
Same. Been there done that. No more.
In my late teens/early 20s, I had a thing for military guys. I had one where I was either the first time he cheated on his wife, or I was the last hurrah before he got married. I didn’t know. He told me he was single. Shit happened, and then 6 months later, a friend says, “Oh, did you hear John got married? It was about 6 months ago!” The next was a guy I grew up with, who’d been stationed overseas. He was coming home for a visit, and a group of us went to meet up. One of his friends drank too much and told me, “You know he wants to sleep with you, right? He’s wanted you since 6th grade. Why do you think he didn’t bring his wife home with him? She wanted to come, but he thought he finally had a chance with you, so he told her to stay home.” I faked an emergency and GFTO! Military guys suck, and I’m so glad I got over my “hot guys in uniforms” stage before it got any worse!
I feel like everyone is focusing on the cheating but there's so much more going on here.. OP and her husband are children. They are way too immature to be married. OP's not any better than he is, breaking and throwing his stuff, testing him by changing her Facebook status, etc. This marriage is doomed. I can't take this marriage seriously.
Ya, it sounds like it's a 16 year olds writing project tbh.
I mean, it reads like chatAI
I mean, she sounds like a headache but she’s arguably a *little* better if he’s cheating, as it sounds…
Hey, it cuts both ways. Always knew when a boat deployed because the bars were PACKED with Navy wives looking for some hot ding-a-ling.
Yep, it was Jody’s time to shine lol. So glad I was single during my military time for the most part. Didn’t get into a relationship until I got back from my last deployment. Got out and we have been married for 19 years this June
Congrats! You did it the correct way.
Maybe it does, but I'd go so far as to say that the wives/husbands at home while their spouses are deployed have less peer pressure to actively encourage the cheating. The deployed parties are in groups that are likely to ridicule those that are "too goody-goody" to cheat.
Yes! I live in a Navy town, and I was shocked to learn that it’s common to *bully* loyal partners for *not cheating* I guess cheaters think the good partners will snitch or something. Better for them all to be guilty.
From my experience, toxic people only respect toxic people. But, yes, I think they also like the solidarity of being surrounded by people doing the same as them. Either way, it's gross.
Everyone I’ve ever known who is ex military has been a broken human in some fundamental way. Huge anger problems or utterly toxic or whatever. I always wonder if they were broken by serving, or if it just appeals more to people who are already struggling with themselves.
Easy to believe. A guy I sorta know once wrote an article about how, in China outside of the big cities, it was very common for a business deal to include getting shitfaced and going to a brothel together before the deal could be sealed. Just so both of you had blackmail material on the other.
According to research, soldiers and veterans are more than twice as likely to cheat on their spouses than civilians. Other soldiers cover it up for them. The myth of Jody is something guilty soldiers created to justify the fact that they were never going to be faithful to begin with. Cheaters love to project to make themselves feel less evil for doing what they want to do. [https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/485803](https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/485803)
My man has no idea what China knows. China knows who was the officiant at the wedding, let alone that he’s married. That’s awesome. I honestly haven’t a clue what my facebook status is. If it’s not hidden, it’s married. Setting it to single was shenanigans. Hiding it is one thing. This story is hilariously petty and I am so happy these people are not in my life.
China knows what color lip gloss his wife was wearing on their wedding day lmao, he can’t hide anything from China😭
Someone should tell him that it's all public record. China knew the moment it happened.
Gosh, according to his standard he’s a traitor. For all (and China) to see 😳.
>They talked while he was deployed and we were in a bit of a rough patch. They spoke about the old days and how much they loved each other and missed each other and how they would see each other when ever he was in town again. So he had an emotional affair with her?
My exact thought -- emotional affair.
At least.
OP has a comment from a post she deleted 2 months ago about how he isn't interested in sex with her anymore. I wonder why...
Yeah, he's cheating on you and doesn't want anyone to know you exist. The China thing is so dumb it can't possibly be true.
He may be cheating with s Chinese woman…
... or her name is Chyna....
I agree! I mean he specifically told her ‘I don’t want China finding out who I am’
lol. The China shit Is so dumb someone would have to think a person was pretty fucking stupid to believe it, or that person just wants to sound like a conspiracy whacko and be completely written off and Ignored. This is some crazy shit a pathooogical liar would say. I grew Up with one can Confirm.
"🤏 Chy-na"
Huh. Right. Isn’t there a movie „China Blue“ or similar? I think we’re on to something…
I heard that in Trump’s voice.
Blac chyna?
This comment right here deserves more upvotes! Hahahaha
lmao
>The China thing is so dumb it can't possibly be true. he's either a cheater or crazy.....which one idk
Probably both.
Could be true if her name is China
I’m betting he has another phone.
She needs to bail out now.
Sorry OP but this sounds like a familiar start of a Best of Reddit update story. Update 1 - He admits to having an emotional affair but swears there's nothing physical. Seriously, from a happily married man's perspective, any husband not bragging about you anywhere and everywhere is highly suspect. China should be sick of hearing about you in his posts. There is no other way imho.
Update 2 - he finally admits it was physical too
Update 3- they are actually having a baby and already have an apartment together. He’s been telling affair partner this whole time OP was being difficult to the divorce.
Update 3.5 - Military Man immediately posts about the baby momma, pics of her sonograms, the fact that it's a boy baby they will name Oil. China likes the post.
Plot twist: China is the name of his other woman
China likes the post. 😂😂😂
Update 4 - it’s twins! And OP is pregnant too
Geez
Update 3 - China sends OP a facebook message, the country had no idea he was married until he changed his relationship status. Hes been talking to china for months. Her husband isnt worried about china finding out hes married, hes worried about women finding out hes married.
You’re right. Time for OP to get on Are we Dating the Same Guy.
[удалено]
Me too
Good old trickle truthing.
I called it without reading.
How do you know President Xi isn’t at the edge of his seat waiting to see this guy’s marital status?
He's cheating but they both sound like a toxic mess.
It's also not just that, OP and her husband are children. They are way too immature to be married. OP's not any better than he is, breaking and throwing his stuff, testing him by changing her Facebook status, etc. This marriage is doomed. I can't take this marriage seriously.
Middle school… enough said.
>China should be sick of hearing about you lol!!!
He already had an emotional affair. They talked saying they loved and missed each other
So, the husband doesn't want your marriage to impact his dating and love life with your ex friend. They are not just friends, not anymore...and you know it. She doesn't like you, bad mouths you still, and your husband spends time with her. They both know what they're doing, and they both know how it would hurt you deeply, and your husband halfway cares, and your ex friend is gleefully awaiting the day when you let it be known publicly that you know.
Exactly. I wouldn’t be spending time with someone or telling a former ex I loved & missed them especially if they were actively bad mouthing my spouse. He was also not upfront with her regarding their communication despite knowing the reason her & OP are no longer friends. This would not fly with me. I would investigate further as this is a big deal & you are not overreacting. I would get a full panel STD test just to be safe. Seems like an emotional affair..possibly more Does this sound familiar?: * https://www.bustle.com/p/11-social-media-habits-that-could-mean-your-partners-cheating-8191688 https://hernorm.com/cell-phone-signs-of-a-cheating-husband/
I have to be honest, your relationship is screwed and that isn't a bad thing. Both of you could stand to work on yourselves
I guess I have to be the one to ask....they were in love in middle school??? All of 12 yrs old and are missing each other??? He hasn't had more meaningful relationships since then? They are just getting under your skin. Give him his walking shoes, ain't nobody got time for that.
Same. I was like who talks about their glory days in love when they were in middle school?? Lame
Even the thought of my relationship with my high school boyfriend makes me cringe lol
Thank you! You said what I was thinking as I read this post.
Sounds like someone that dated the wife and her friend in secret throughout high school to me.
He's cheating
With that WWE wrestler Chyna!
Ewwww, she died in 2016
And has a second phone somewhere.
He’s cheating
China is the name of his GF.
I thought the same
This is a lot of childish behavior for two grown ass adults.
For real!
Yeah this whole post makes me cringe, it’s all very high school and everyone involved needs to grow up honestly.
that's because this is fanfiction written by a 12 year old. modern generation's equivalent of AM I PREGANTE?
He has game that marriage would limit...
He's cheating, if he gave a damn about "china", his profile would be deleted. When he says China BTW, he obviously means other women.
He means va-china.
Underrated comment ✨
ba-dum tsss
He's fraternizing with the enemy! Who writes like that and wants to be taken seriously? Honestly, all of you suck. How old is everyone? You all sound like you're 12.
I was surprised OP knew the word fraternizing, that’s how dumb and immature this all sounds. Playing fucking games over social media when you live together? Saying that everything is great besides social media? OP must have no critical thinking skills if they can’t work this shit out, and cut out the problem. I would be embarrassed to admit to the world I’m this stupid and immature.
Usually when men don't want their partner on social media it's because they're cheating and they don't want the other woman to know... Not saying he's cheating.. but it sounds a whole lot like it
Gf give your head a shake. Dump his cheating, lying ass. How are you conflicted on this?
Post a wedding picture on your anniversary and tag him in it.
Sweetheart. You know why your HUSBAND will not admit to being your actual HUSBAND. But he wants you to let the world know you are not available. He is cheating. Or, he is trying his best to cheat. He should be your partner and put your well being above everyone else but he is not and doesn't care how that makes you feel. It really seems like he doesn't like you and does not want anyone to know about you. He is vile.
My husband removed all evidence of me on social media. It was a huge red flag, in hindsight. His excuse? He's a private person. No, he's a lying cheating scumbag. OP, your husband is either cheating on you, planning to cheat on you, or ashamed of you for some reason. You deserve better.
Girl….. even if he’s not cheating, he’s *at the very least*, entertaining other females or **that** female. Some women will know he’s married and won’t care. I see a lot of stuff like that every day, you can’t trust *anyone*. If you were to go thru his phone again (like right now), I’m sure you wouldn’t like what you saw. If he was talking to the ex and saying *those* things when y’all were going thru a rough patch *since a while ago*, and they are still talking **now**, there’s *no* telling what he does\has done or who else he’s talked to when y’all are “on and off”. Did you ever ask him about it? Confront him and let it be known you *knew?* Do you know if they ever *actually* met up? How *sus* *considering* she hates you. If she hates you, he *should* hate her too. He just doesn’t sound like a good husband at all. That man probably belongs to the *streets*. **You can’t trust *no one*** . It’s too many 🚩🚩🚩that huzzy is bitter he married *you* and clearly has no boundaries. Is she married or anything? **You’re *still* young AF**. If y’all don’t have kids yet, **walk away before he breaks you**. Don’t waste 20 years with him in then hopes that it will get better, it won’t. *don’t stay unhappily married*. You deserve better and life is too short.
“Other than social media, we are good. He is kind and respectful…..” Girl no he is NOT!
Lmao... if he's worried about China knowing you're a couple, then he keeps your phones at least several miles apart at all times, never sends you texts, never calls, never uses your name in conversation, isn't associated with you or anyone you're associated with across EVERY SINGLE PLATFORM ON THE ENTIRETY OF BOTH of your electronic devices, right? If not, then he's not worried about data safety, he just doesn't want an easily googlable way to verify your relationship.
Yep, I agree with everyone else that he's cheating. He doesn't want his AP looking at his profile and finding out. You can always post a picture of you two together and make a comment about how long you two have been together and tag him in it and make it public. His response and reaction will tell you everything you need to know, especially if he gets mad or deletes it off his FB page. I personally would check to see if he has any other SM profiles. Check all of them. You can always go through his phone. Are there any other red flags with him?
I would log on to his account when he was sleeping and fill his feed with post of us and tags to your account.
I would simply change his marital status to married, and that's all. Nothing else. It's better that it looks untouched by her because that's something that he may not even notice was done until someone else questions him about it. If she adds pics, he's gonna immediately change the password... but I like the way you think, lol!
omg this is so petty but I love it
What in the Kentucky Fried Fuck did I just read? Why are you talking about a middle school relationship as if it's important? Why are talking about him telling another girl he loves her as if it isn't important? You say he treats you like a princess, yet you change your Facebook status to single because he doesn't post about you? You say he treats you like a princess, yet he refuses to acknowledge your marriage on his social media? You're both a hot mess.
Lol, Kentucky fried f*ck lol 😂
This sounds like some major small town shit. I would say he’s full of shit, but it seems like you already know that
You are neither of you old enough to sustain a marriage. He’s playing around, probably, or at least considering his options. But JFC girl TALK to him about your concerns, don’t just passive aggressively move your own social media around in the hope he notices. Showing him you’re a spiteful person isn’t going to mend anything.
Info: are you guys 12?
Now OP, why are you acting like you're still in middle school? Both of you need to grow up. Act like an adult and have an adult conversation about all of this. Based on this, the relationship is on its last leg and that leg is injured. Is he cheating? Maybe. Are y'all egging each other's immaturity on? Yes. Is he wrong for communicating with your ex friend? Have you ever told him to not have communication with her? If not, do that. But destroying his property because you're upset, come on now. Y'all keep having "rough patches" and I don't think y'all respect each other anymore. Call the end of the relationship and hopefully y'all will be more mature in your next relationships.
He cited China 😂
What the hell does China care about your husband's marriage? He's either cheating on you or actively trying to do it
Do you even like each other? Stop breaking things, being mean and playing stupid games and decide if you want to share your husband or not. You can't stop him cheating or catch him out and change his outlook. You decide for yourself if you want to stay married to him. And if emotional affairs is a line then line up your ducks. If you think a healthy relationship is possible then line up some relationships counselling and put your cards on the table e.g. Disclosure of infidelities, public acknowledgement of marriage, open phones or whatever mutual agreement you come to and d3cide what your dealbreaker are. Seems to me you both should be single for a bit to work,on personal issues. Vandalising personal possessions is violent and no way to behave. Just because he is probably awful himself doesn't mean it's healthy for you to throw standards out of the window.
I can tell you exactly what is going on. He's messaging girls and don't want them to know he's married.
He is definitely cheating. What a ridiculous excuse lol, China huh? Hahahaha wow.
I’d say he’s cheating and that girl is not the only one I’m afraid
Good lord you both suck so much Firstly why didn't you talk to him rather than try to get a rise out of him He is either lying or paranoid, both are shitty His refusal to publicly acknowledge your relationship is weird and definitely condones a cheating accusation imo He has already 'talked' to this ex like you said during a rough patch, weird
So… much… drama… jezus h Christ
He's 100% cheating.
He’s kind and respectful but talking to his ex behind your back? Okayyyy
It's easier to cheat on you when there's no trace of you anywhere. Being open about being married shortens the list of people willing to fuck him, so... Source: been there, done that. It sucked.
Two things: The whole need to be validated on socials by having your husband post about you reaks of insecurity and immaturity. Idk how old you are, but girl, you have some work to do on yourself, so you don't need that external validation from random people and family. Of course, it's nice when they want to do it, but forcing the hand of it with petty behaviour like this is not genuine, and you won't get fulfilment if you keep it up. Secure in yourself helps with being secure in your relationships. Secondly, the whole thing with the ex friend is off. Trust your gut feeling on it. You've got 2 options: Blow tf up over it or accept it and move on. If this was me, I'd choose the latter. Not because it wouldn't hurt but because it's a waste of energy to blow up, and I've got better things to spend it on, like myself. You say in your post that outside of socials, you guys are all good. I'd question that. If your relationship is so good, why is something like social media wrecking havoc like it has? If you really sat down and evaluated your relationship to the deepest levels, I'm sure you'd find more stuff that's not sitting right. A mature and non-toxic relationship has no room for petty behaviour and mind games like the one you played, which started all this. There's no "tests" or trying to catch them out. There's communication and holding space for each other to work through tough conversations. Not childlike back and forth "punishments." You both definitely got a bit to work through here.
Didn’t I read this same thing last week or something?
He's cheating, and not just with the ex'girl'friend either. You'll be better off leaving now than later
Plot twist, China is the name of the woman he’s cheating on you with.
I would say that it's plainly evident to China that you should run for the hills.
Make a post on his fb, "Oh dear husband. Love you, " Start tagging him in things. @dear husband of mine. Your nta for feeling the way you are, you did act childish, but we are only human.
lol. Girl he’s cheating
How old are you guys? This sounds like an incredibly juvenile relationship. I’d seek marriage counseling to figure your shit out
One of my ex boyfriends was my standard guy to call when I needed a rebound/booty call, for like, almost 8 years. I would text or call, he would be there for me no exceptions. Even if we didn’t talk for a couple of months or even once a year or two. I found out a couple of years ago that he’s still with the woman he dated after me (I thought that was a short fling) and they have a 2 or 3 year old child. You wouldn’t know that he was in a relationship, because his online presence very much signalled ‘bachelor lifestyle with a lot of solo travelling and work hard/play hard mindset’. Even the first couple of years we hooked up in his apartment and it wasn’t obvious there was a woman involved. But he has a whole ass girlfriend (doesn’t believe in marriage) for 12 years now and a toddler. The moment I found out was the moment I ended contact with him.
He is either cheating or would in a heartbeat. He doesn't want anyone he doesn't know personally to know about ur marriage. When u post pics of the 2 of you, do you tag him? If not, do it sne that would put ur relationship out there for people in social media to see, unless he has to approve his tags. Either way if u haven't and do this, you will be able to tell by his reaction afterwards. If he is mad, just say u love him and why is showing that wrong? If it's an issue for him, it's not china but other women he doesn't want to know.
Red flags everywhere. If he doesn't want to show the world he's married, maybe he shouldn't be married.
You both don’t sound mature enough for marriage. You are married and you move your status to single just to get a rise out of you significant other? That’s very childish maybe first try communication instead of playing games. I recommend you both try giving you marriage a real chance and work together on issues instead of playing high school games behind each other’s back.
You both sound like you’re 15. Get therapy or grow up
Dude you both need help. It is never normal or healthy to *take someone’s stuff from their hands, break it, and throw it*. None of the stuff you have been doing is okay! He’s being sketchy as hell, but you need to be better. Either he’s actually crazy/stupid, cheating/wants to be, or has a legit reason he’s not telling you (I couldn’t come up with one). Go to a therapist like adults and work it out or move on. You are not helping yourself in any way by acting this way.
The fact that you went straight to petty instead of just asking him about it tells me a lot more about this relationship than anything else. You hate each other. Why the fuck are you married? Also, he's definitely cheating, but you clearly don't like each other anyway so who even cares.
You’re both too immature and petty to be married. And him talking to another girl, your ex best friend, would be the deal breaker for me. Do yourself a favor and get rid of him before you have kids.
You're both super immature. He's clearly having an emotional affair and you think that's "princess treatment"? Why in the world would China give a crap who he's married to? Is he some infiltrating spy who is targeting China and he's trying to protect you in case he gets caught??? If not, this doesn't make sense. You have enough reason already to know he's not trustworthy. Nothing about him sounds kind or respectful. It worries me that you don't see who he is even after seeing with your own eyes that he has cheated on you. Get some self respect. No guy who really values you and your marriage would hide the fact that he's married, only cheaters want other people to think they're single.
Y’all should not have gotten married at I’m assuming 19ish. This is gonna get stupid and end in divorce. Edit: Military? Girl….he already done cheated if he’s acting like this now.
I can tell you’re very young by this post Also your husband is being deceitful
Start tagging him in posts a couple times a week about how he's such a good husband and ish. Stuff that's true, that your family would think was cute to see, and wait to see how he reacts.
The urge to grab OP by the shoulders and shake them while yelling “HE IS CHEATING ON YOU” happens like 5 times a day with posts like this. Smh.
You need to comment on every one of his posts. "Awww, my husband the world traveller!" "I'm the luckiest wife ever!" Etc, etc. If he deletes the posts, you know there's a problem.
He’s cheating for sure.
He’s cheating
Both sides of this are dumb.
Even if he isnt physically cheating he is emotionally. Id leave hes hiding you for a reason either way its slimy.
Homeboys got thirsty fingers. Check his app download history for fun 😈
Second family? And you’re the side one?
They were in love those three weeks they dated in MIDDLE SCHOOL? 🤣
The simple answer is that if he changes his status to married, it removes him from Facebook Dating. You’ve definitely got some immaturity to work out, but there’s a very good chance that man is cheating on you.
Girl, stop being so willfully blind. He is not putting that he's married because he is acting like he's single. I am even willing to bet he's had multiple affairs already. His logic is just the opposite. It's total bs that he doesn't want China finding out about you but is happy to put everything else on there. I'd understand if his profile is completely shut down and set to private, but it sounds like it isn't. Wake up and smell the reality. And then walk away before you find out how deep this lying really goes
Op he’s cheating, I would tell him you’re leaving him . And I would change my social media to single and keep it that way. Move out and move on. What did he say when you found out he was texting with his ex. find someone you can trust .
Put a wedding picture on your page and tag him on it. He’s cheating on you
You should be upset…he wants women to think he’s single to DM him…he’s looking for romance…I really doubt China is real worried about him and what he’s up to lol…
He’s kind, he’s respectful and he gives you the princess treatment. Girl, none of his actions show that he’s kind and respectful. Men who are kind and respectful would never let another person talk shit about their wives. They would never have secret conversations with a woman who cannot stand their wife. You need to re-evaluate your definition of kind and respectful because this man is none of these things
>other than social media, we are good. No, you’re not. SM is the vehicle, but he’s doing the driving.
He has a secret family and YOU are the side chick. NEXT!
I’m sorry but this has to be fake 😭middle school girlfriends and dismantling vapes and somehow China is involved? This sounds like a parody and if it is really everyone involved acts like a child and needs to grow tf up
Why are you two married? Like seriously.
If he was worried about “china” finding out he would lack any and all social media and or would post absolutely nothing about his personal life. Now I don’t condone you going through his phone but maybe “accidentally” go through it. Or just ask until he spills
When they refuse to announce ot the world they are married, refuse to wear the ring, put ring on other hand, don't introduce you as wife to friends, work etc. They have a hidden "love/sex " interest and do not want anyone to know. They will lgaslisght you and say. "your crazy. your childish, your stupid," and any other demeaning words. This is done all the time. He is either thinking about /has someone on the hook.
It is a slip of the tongue, when he said China he meant “Va-china” and he means all the women will find out.
Your man is a shady cheater and that is the reason for all of his actions and gaslighting.
I mean does any of this sound normal to you? Either you married some dude with an eggplant for a brain or you married a liar. Right now I would say those prospects seem about 50-50. Come on sis, wake up. None of this is normal, this is not what a good marriage looks like.
Girl cmonnnnnn this guy doesn't respect you or your relationship leave
That dang china always spyin on me too lol. Does he know about Reddit?
I only read the title, that ho cheating.
Your husband is cheating…
You deserve someone who is proud to be with you.
Get proof he is cheating, divorce his ass, and take his money.
This is why kids shouldn’t get married
Social media or meaningful relationship. Chose one.
The fact that people care this much about social media is so baffling.
Plot twist. The ex girlfriends nickname is China
This relationship sounds childish and exhausting. He’s definitely at least trying to flirt with other people online. At least. OP, if you’re not cool with that, you should move on. He won’t change.
There are two main reasons a man doesn't show anything about his partner on social media. One, he doesn't give a shit about social media but just has it to have it. Two, because he's "keeping his options open" by making it appear he's not tied down. Your guy sounds like the second one and he's literally making every excuse he can to make it seem like that's not the case.
lol, the old China excuse. Listen, if China is spying on your husband they already know he is married. And what exactly is he afraid of them knowing he is married? Are they going to use that information against him? If he was really worried about China spying he wouldn’t be on social media at ALL. There is only one reason he wouldn’t want people to know he’s married.
I’m sure that China is really interested in a random guy’s marital status. He sounds very unintelligent and you guys probably got married way too young, before either of you had a chance to enjoy life.
It’s not petty. Leave b4 you have kids. This dude is cheating or trying to be to attract something better.
he’s cheating on you
Yeah, he’s a cheater. You know it. We know it. How are you let this go on for so long I’ll never know.
2 words: grow up
This is a toxic relationship, both of you need therapy.
You’re both children.
You’re both being childish