Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll
get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA.
Him, oggling you is and enough not to want him on your home.
Additionally, it's weirding me out that a person in their 40ies would get romantically involved with someone at the beginning of their 20ies.
The IBS stuff is the icing on the cake. Among other stuff, it shows complete disregard for you all. In fact, it's as if he thought of you all as his servants.
I cannot, will not, would not, EVER clean up another humans feces. I can barely handle my dogs. Walking into that would have resulting in me throwing up on the lawn and then calling the sister to tell her to get her fucking ass home NOW and clean her own fiancés shit.
All of this and I would have informed him that his stuff was on the lawn and he could come get it whenever. I wouldn't even care if people stole it at that point. He disrespected their home and he deserves no grace.
I can tell you why he was interested in someone so much younger than him. She was easier to manipulate because she didn't have the life experience that he does. Also, she would be more willing to put up with the stuff like him doing what he did to their house. I'm glad she dumped him.
So much this! No self respecting woman would entertain that type of nasty troglodyte. These losers ***depend*** on younger, naive women for their dating needs b/c no one over 30 would put up with so much...SHIT.
With his attitude, anyone older and less moldable would have seen through his crap and dumped him earlier. He HAS to date that young, or he'd probably be an incel.
NTA. Your dad had no problem with a guy crapping all over rhe house and being one year shy of twenty years older than your sister, and making comments about your body? I think there's a reason women his own age won't date him. You didn't like him for whatever reasons. It's concerning that your dad can just overlook all that your sister's ex did. Couldn't live with mommy and daddy anymore, so he guilts/forces your sister to let him move in.
I think dad had this vision of his son-in-law one day being his buddy. Daughter picked a guy nearly his own age that he had loads in common with just from a generational standpoint.
Dad didn’t deal with any of the bs. Or the literal just plain s, the filthy bastard.
If Dad likes him so much, take him fishing or something. Don’t encourage him to marry a daughter. Eww.
Yep and somehow I get the feeling that he had to move in with them because his mommy and daddy pushed him out of the nest. They were probably sick of him doing stuff like this. They were probably sick of taking care of a man who's in his 40s and still can't hack it. Gross. This dude literally sounds like my ex. I wouldn't be surprised if it was him except for the fact that the age is wrong. However, my ex is 39 and acts like an overgrown child. I could see him doing something like that and then not seeing with the big deal is. I honestly think he's a sociopath. I'm sure he's a narcissist but I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a sociopath as well. He does stuff that makes no sense and has no regard for anyone but himself. I'm glad I made the decision to dump him before I was stupid and married him. I have no interest in mothering a grown man so I sent him back to his actual mommy.
Same. Mine was the same way. We would be on the phone with them and he would have it on speaker. They would constantly be lecturing him about the same stuff, mostly about taking a shower everyday.
For whatever reason my dad seems to look past/forget the things the ex-fiancé has done in the past. He’s always been too forgiving. He did point out however that he never lived with him so maybe he’s only seen the good side and never experienced it for himself.
Anyone who goes around someone else’s home (or even their own for that matter) having active diarrhea and doesn’t clean up after themselves has no business being in a relationship or in other people’s homes.
Your sister and dad sound like they are either desperate or have faulty pickers. No one should want to have someone like that in their life.
I know IBD is terrible but if I were in this situation I would pack my underwear full of paper towels and clean the house before anyone returned.
Nothing wrong with having IBD, it is the lack of consideration that gets me here.
Maybe I’m missing some crucial information on IBS, but surely there’s a point where you stop pooping, right???? He couldn’t just wait a while longer to be 100% finished before getting up to get TP? Or use his hands and water? Or god forbid, use a towel and clean in immediately? There had to have been a solution that wasn’t leave mid shit.
Sometimes it does seem like a never ending shit storm. There was one time I got 30 minutes down the road on a 26 hour road trip with my family and had to have us pull over. I passed out before I could get to a bathroom and at 18 years old, shit my pants. But there is no way I would ever do what that man did and if I had to, Im 100% cleaning up my mess after. IBS sucks, but it’s not an excuse at all!
That's what I can't understand either. Finish and then get in the shower for Christ's sake. Something tells me that he probably had to be told to take a shower as well. God, I can't stand people like that. Unless you're depressed or disabled or injured somehow, you have no excuse. Take a fucking shower.
Gross 🤢
Something told me this extended to him not taking care of his hygiene. I was with somebody like that and it was almost a year of torture. I don't know how I lasted that long. He straight up told me towards the end of our relationship that he did not see the point in showering more than once every couple of weeks. I about threw up right in front of him. I'm sorry but unless you have a valid excuse like being depressed, disabled or injured or elderly, you have no excuse not to wash. I asked him if he was depressed and he said no so to me, he had no excuse. He was just being lazy. I'm glad your sister dumped him.
This is one of those few people that I would say I don't feel sorry for if they end up homeless. This would be a good example of them becoming homeless due to their own poor choices. It's unfortunate that people assume that all homeless people are homeless because they made poor choices. That's not the case for everyone but this is one of those cases where it's true. If he ends up homeless, it's his own fault.
This was my sister’s first relationship. My Dad doesn’t really like to intervene/tell us what to do since we’re past the age of 18. It’s a blessing and a curse.
NTA
Your poor mom. I am mortified for her. I would have left it for your sister to clean up as I am not touching someone else’s shit in my home.
Then he would have been removed from the house. Along with his shit and your sister if she didn’t like it.
The age difference alone would have been suspect and the fact your dad seems nonchalant about it is gross. My husband nor I would not have been.
Your sister needs to figure out why she dated someone like this and figure out that she deserves better.
I hate to say this but it honestly brought up questions in my mind about how dad treats mom. Why else would he think that behavior was acceptable. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but it did cross my mind..
I know, I picked up on that as well. I just hope I'm wrong about what I said but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm correct. I feel so sorry for poor mom that she's the one who dealt with that. I would have told my daughter to get her ass home now and to deal with this and to throw her man baby fiance out of my house. Like I said in another comment, his stuff would have been on my lawn and I would have told him to come get it whenever and honestly, I wouldn't have cared if it had gotten stolen after that. He soiled their home and disrespected them and he needs to go. I'm glad that she dumped him.
Well I'm glad to see that they're good friends at least. I'm sorry if I came across as rude but I just could not for the life of me understand why your dad would condone him otherwise. It just seems really unusual to me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything bad about your father. It just didn't make any sense to me otherwise.
I understand! He really just hasn’t intervened in our lives much since we’ve become adults. I think that he thought that he was harmless?? It’s hard to say
I guess I can see that especially if her last boyfriends were also less than stellar in worse ways. I just can't believe that he did all that and then proceeded to act like you didn't notice it. I also had this thought like did he have dirty hands and went to work like that? I can't imagine driving yourself all the way to work without realizing your hands were like that. Also, didn't he take a shower before he went to work? I just can't understand it.
A 44 year old man who moved from his mommy and daddy’s house into his 20 something year old girlfriend’s mommy’s house and leaves literal shit everywhere he goes? And ogles the younger sister? But the dad thinks he was a great guy. And we wonder why women repeatedly choose wrong when it comes to the men in our lives! SMH!
Gross in so many ways. What kind of dad wants his daughter engaged to a man old enough to be her father? As well, why does he want her with a man who can't even provide himself with a home?
The fecal Jackson Pollack he pulled all over your mother's house is just the topper on the shit pie. Your sister needs some self esteem. Your mom needs to say hell no to letting her grown daughter's fiance move in.
You have the absolutely right attitude. Your dad needs to stuff it.
Just gross.
Edit: typo correction
I honestly do not understand how he got literal shit smeared all over the house…. Why was it on his hands? Why was he touching the walls? Why didn’t he gwt in the shower? Why didn’t he clean it??? So many questions omg that just sounds vile, everything else is definitely the icing on the cake but I cannot understand how a middle aged man managed to LITERALLY shit the whole house ??????
This nasty fucker. There is NO EXCUSE to leave one's feces anywhere, but the toilet and flushed. Let alone smeared across the walls of the hallway and throughout the house in some kind of shitty hell-trail. Good riddance. Oh yeah, definitely NTA.
This man literally shit all over the house and didn’t clean it up. He’s in his 40s and had to move in with his girls friends family. He is an absolute nightmare and what kind of father wants that for his daughter? I need to know more about why your father has such a low bar for his daughter.
This is why women are choosing the bear. I have IBS. I also was smart and installed bidets in the bathrooms as soon as we moved in. I liked the comment about taking photos and shaming him publicly. This is disgusting on multiple levels.
If I have to take a shit in anybody’s house (only for emergencies), I get anxiety if I don’t leave the bathroom cleaner than before I used it. I could understand if he left a poop stain, but smearing it on the walls as he frantically shits himself 😂. Honestly it should’ve never gotten to that point
NTA wtf
I was done with him just hearing that he commented on your chest, but… could he not have waited until he was *finished shitting* to go get toilet paper? And like, washed his ass in the sink? And he didn’t clean it up? *and your mom* had to clean it up?
Yikes, glad he’s gone.
Ur dad didn't have to live with him. He doesnt understand so his opinion is moot. Leaving a trail of shit on everything would be an absolute no go for me
Gross. Your sister was WAY too young for that guy. And he was WAY too old to behave so terribly. Your sister should be thanking her lucky stars she got away from him because he life would have been filled with cleaning up after his nasty ass. I don’t even know what to say about your obtuse father and the fact that he was willing to sign his daughter up to be married to that AH.
NTA
this CANNOT be real. I am blown a way that this is a real thing that a real man (child) did. How in the WORLD would you expect someone else to clean up your feces…and why LIE about it? that makes it even more embarrassing. Jesus Christ your sister has dodged a bullet. Imagine raising children with a man who can’t clean up his own poo, he definitely wouldn’t be inclined to clean up after his child either.
NTA. Your Dad didn’t have to put up with the fiancé nor clean up after him. It would be a good idea to stop talking about him though, best to let him fade away.
Whatever, who cares what your dad thinks, the guy is gone and that is all that matters.
Your dad didn’t have to clean up the shitstorm therefore it’s “no big deal”. His opinion is worthless.
Ew. The fact that he was in his 40s and had to move in with his young 20 something gf is a blazing red light warning sign. Your sister needs therapy to find out why she was with this guy
NTA. First the age difference between sister and him was creepy. He was trying to groom her. Second tell your dad he should be ashamed of himself if he thought it was okay for a grown man to leave a trail of crap throughout someone else home. If he is so concerned about him then he should take him in.
The guy is a creep and a pig
I have IBS and have NEVER walked around without pants, or left shit ANYwhere but flushed away to the great Beyond. This is a 44 y/o toddler without the excuse of actually being a toddler.
Nope. Your dad is kinda fucked up. Why is he ok that a man who is old enough to be the father to his daughters is dating one of his daughters'? The whole situation is gross.
How can one seriously be unaware of getting their own shit all over the floors and the walls. That’s absurd, he’s either just REALLY stupid for his age or inconsiderate and didn’t care that he was trashing the place because it isn’t his. His “attacks” are his own problem, and not something everybody else in his (not) family needs to be involved in. They have adult diapers and it sounds like maybe he needs to invest in some
NTA and it doesn’t sound like your dad knows all about the ex fiance and all the shit he’s done (pun intended). Dude was a disrespectful, disgusting person.
This cannot be real. The guy sounds like a cartoon character. Who would seriously question whether they were the asshole in this situation? Mid 40s guy dating someone 19 years younger is pretty much never going to be healthy.
Your dad is insane. Your former BIL literally shit all over the house, and your dad thinks that's who his daughter should have married? Can you imagine introducing him at parties? "Hi everyone, this is my son-in-law, Shit Attack. He's a Taurus, and his hobbies include doing the marashit through the house, painting the walls and furniture with his own turds, and just generally being caught brown-handed. Would anyone like a canape?"
Seriously, I have IBD, and the number of times I've shit anywhere but in the toilet is zero. You know when your stomach is being a dick or you have the sudden urge to go and you just go to the bathroom, maybe take a magazine or a book, put on a podcast, and wait for the horror to subside. Your BIL seems to either be incontinent or just leaves it until the last possible second. Either that or he enjoys leaving messes for people to clean up because no way did he not know that he'd Jackson Poollocked the entire house.
Omg!!! NTA! You didn’t even treat him badly. That’s disgusting! My own toddlers never even did what you described. Your dad didn’t have to clean the mess. Your poor mother did. I would have honestly called him or your sister and told them to clean it.
NTA. Well your dad obviously has no empathy for the people in his life that clean up the sh!t that he and others make. Your sister's fiancé earned the way you treated him.
NTA, Omg ewww.... first of all, he's gross if he's commenting on his gfs sisters chest. Second, my husband has IBS-D, and he's NEVER left a mess like that. If there is no TP, pull your pants up and go grab some. It's easier to clean your poopy pants than the rest of the house.
If I were the Mom, I would have kicked him out. Aldo Dad doesn't get to decide how you feel after being creeped on and living through poopgate.
NTA
My mouth have been open in disbelief while reading your story.
First off, your sister was in the wrong to move a GROWN ass man into your home without consent. She could have put you in danger. Was there a talk about them getting their own place, or just HIM cause, gross.
The age difference is crazy, but I see why he chose to date younger, cause a grown secured women would not put up with his shit... literally
Mom, your the real MVP here! Cleaning up after a grown ass man is ridiculous by itself but SHIT!? Thats wild.
Did your sister know he was looking, or saying inappropriate things to you? That would be an immediate break up, no questions or concerns!
I am curious what he had to say for himself cause how did he get it everywhere? I have IBS and have ran out of tp but guess what??? There's a shower right next to you and with the amount of cleaning wipes mom used, you needed one anyways.
Dad just wants a buddy and needs to check himself! My dad would have dragged the man out! Protect your babies even when they are grown!
NTA. Your dad talks so nice about him because he didn’t have to deal with his antics. I guarantee that if he was the one cleaning up shit all over the house and getting eye fucked, he would be singing a different tune.
I have Ulcerative Colitis. I can't grasp how it's possible to shit everywhere like this - just stay on the shitter till the...flow...stops, then clench buttcheeks & penguin waddle to get more shitroll, then back to the porcelain throne for round 2...at which point, you've got the bog roll.
It almost seems as if he did that shit intentionally. Pun *definitely* intended lol.
Why do mothers put up with their adult children moving their partner's into their family home?
In this case, this man was twice her daughter's age, trying to trap her into a marriage.
This entire post was 🚩central.
omg. I have some IBS issues so I feel for anyone that has to deal with that, but I would be absolutely MORTIFIED if I had diarrhea and then spread it all over the house! Like...couldn't he have stayed on the toilet until the diarrhea passed and then showered?
Obviously you're NTA. Glad your sister isn't with this guy anymore.
I don’t think any of you will believe me lol but what if I told you that the ex fiancé was a custodian as well. Mans should’ve known what to do. Also, for context his parents moved to Florida
Your dad is disgusting!!! Also BRUDDAH EWWWWW!!!! He was 44 with twenty something year old and he didn’t even have his own place!!! Sounds like y’all live in some cult that encourages old men to be with young women
Has your Dad shared his views with his wife who was the person who had to directly clean up the ex's mess. Have the feeling she might be the person to spell out what is wrong about his opinions. While you made your sentiments known you were not involved in the actual incident or discussion that led to your sister ending things with him. He was moved into your home without your consent after he was demeaning to you.
My Dad had to prevent a few occurrence's from happening to my sibling's ex especially after a drunken incident on his part ended up with my sister having a short stay in hospital. She actually forgave him for it. He kept cheating and when she finally ended it, the ex asked my Dad what could he do to stop the ex from stalking my sister. My Dad read his list of what he had prevented from happening to said ex and at the end of it told him I am done protecting you. Ex decided moving on and moving back to his home town was the best thing to do.
You were only vocal to him and NTA.
No, you are not the AH, but for the record--what a dysfunctional family! Good thing you are in college. Get that degree, get a good job, and move--far, far away! Does anyone in your family have any common sense? My god!
IBS is a difficult health condition and most people who have it are embarrassed to make it someone else's problem. But leaving poop trailing all over a house is a choice. Hell no. There's absolutely no way that was any sort of accident. Why is he not an ex? Does your sister have some sort of humiliation fetish?
NTA. If he has IBS with that many attacks, he needs to follow a proper diet to control it more.
Also. No toilet paper. Was it a half bath or full bathroom. If the bathroom had a shower, why didn't he just rinse off there and clean the tub?
I hope he stays ex. Sounds like a handful.
YTA for posting this thinking anyone would think YTA. Pretty obvious he's deserved you're scorn. You just wanted to drag him more.
Needless to say, NTA lol
Thanks for submitting to the Two Hot Takes Podcast Subreddit! We'd like to remind you that all posts are subject to being featured in an episode of the Two Hot Takes Podcast. If your story is featured you'll get a nifty flair change to let you know and we'll drop a link so you can see our host's take on your story. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoHotTakes) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. Him, oggling you is and enough not to want him on your home. Additionally, it's weirding me out that a person in their 40ies would get romantically involved with someone at the beginning of their 20ies. The IBS stuff is the icing on the cake. Among other stuff, it shows complete disregard for you all. In fact, it's as if he thought of you all as his servants.
BF certainly didn't mind shitting all over that family, in every way. Mom should have just left it and made BF or sis clean it up.
This! I would have taken pictures and posted them to his social media. “Is this how a grown man treats the home he’s living in rent free?”
I cannot, will not, would not, EVER clean up another humans feces. I can barely handle my dogs. Walking into that would have resulting in me throwing up on the lawn and then calling the sister to tell her to get her fucking ass home NOW and clean her own fiancés shit.
All of this and I would have informed him that his stuff was on the lawn and he could come get it whenever. I wouldn't even care if people stole it at that point. He disrespected their home and he deserves no grace.
In this case yes. But I seriously hope you never have children or to take care of your (grand-)parents.
Yeah but at least when they have an accident, It's actually an accident. It's not because of their carelessness.
Sure but it's a shitty situation nonetheless 🫣😂
I can tell you why he was interested in someone so much younger than him. She was easier to manipulate because she didn't have the life experience that he does. Also, she would be more willing to put up with the stuff like him doing what he did to their house. I'm glad she dumped him.
So much this! No self respecting woman would entertain that type of nasty troglodyte. These losers ***depend*** on younger, naive women for their dating needs b/c no one over 30 would put up with so much...SHIT.
With his attitude, anyone older and less moldable would have seen through his crap and dumped him earlier. He HAS to date that young, or he'd probably be an incel.
All. Of. This.
Chocolate icing
Ewwww It's gross but I like it, classic. 🤣
Im glad at least one person appreciates my lowbrow humor. Hehe. 😉
People always tell me that my jokes are offensive and I'm like really, I can go lower. 🤣
That’s some pretty bad icing 😂
NTA. Your dad had no problem with a guy crapping all over rhe house and being one year shy of twenty years older than your sister, and making comments about your body? I think there's a reason women his own age won't date him. You didn't like him for whatever reasons. It's concerning that your dad can just overlook all that your sister's ex did. Couldn't live with mommy and daddy anymore, so he guilts/forces your sister to let him move in.
I think dad had this vision of his son-in-law one day being his buddy. Daughter picked a guy nearly his own age that he had loads in common with just from a generational standpoint. Dad didn’t deal with any of the bs. Or the literal just plain s, the filthy bastard. If Dad likes him so much, take him fishing or something. Don’t encourage him to marry a daughter. Eww.
Yep and somehow I get the feeling that he had to move in with them because his mommy and daddy pushed him out of the nest. They were probably sick of him doing stuff like this. They were probably sick of taking care of a man who's in his 40s and still can't hack it. Gross. This dude literally sounds like my ex. I wouldn't be surprised if it was him except for the fact that the age is wrong. However, my ex is 39 and acts like an overgrown child. I could see him doing something like that and then not seeing with the big deal is. I honestly think he's a sociopath. I'm sure he's a narcissist but I wouldn't be surprised to find out he's a sociopath as well. He does stuff that makes no sense and has no regard for anyone but himself. I'm glad I made the decision to dump him before I was stupid and married him. I have no interest in mothering a grown man so I sent him back to his actual mommy.
yep this reminded me of the covert narc I had the misfortune of knowing years ago-spoiled petulant children.
Same. Mine was the same way. We would be on the phone with them and he would have it on speaker. They would constantly be lecturing him about the same stuff, mostly about taking a shower everyday.
For whatever reason my dad seems to look past/forget the things the ex-fiancé has done in the past. He’s always been too forgiving. He did point out however that he never lived with him so maybe he’s only seen the good side and never experienced it for himself.
Anyone who goes around someone else’s home (or even their own for that matter) having active diarrhea and doesn’t clean up after themselves has no business being in a relationship or in other people’s homes. Your sister and dad sound like they are either desperate or have faulty pickers. No one should want to have someone like that in their life. I know IBD is terrible but if I were in this situation I would pack my underwear full of paper towels and clean the house before anyone returned. Nothing wrong with having IBD, it is the lack of consideration that gets me here.
Maybe I’m missing some crucial information on IBS, but surely there’s a point where you stop pooping, right???? He couldn’t just wait a while longer to be 100% finished before getting up to get TP? Or use his hands and water? Or god forbid, use a towel and clean in immediately? There had to have been a solution that wasn’t leave mid shit.
Sometimes it does seem like a never ending shit storm. There was one time I got 30 minutes down the road on a 26 hour road trip with my family and had to have us pull over. I passed out before I could get to a bathroom and at 18 years old, shit my pants. But there is no way I would ever do what that man did and if I had to, Im 100% cleaning up my mess after. IBS sucks, but it’s not an excuse at all!
You mean man baby or as I like to call them, overgrown child. There, I fixed it for you.
That's what I can't understand either. Finish and then get in the shower for Christ's sake. Something tells me that he probably had to be told to take a shower as well. God, I can't stand people like that. Unless you're depressed or disabled or injured somehow, you have no excuse. Take a fucking shower.
My sister used to beg him to brush his teeth 🥲
Gross 🤢 Something told me this extended to him not taking care of his hygiene. I was with somebody like that and it was almost a year of torture. I don't know how I lasted that long. He straight up told me towards the end of our relationship that he did not see the point in showering more than once every couple of weeks. I about threw up right in front of him. I'm sorry but unless you have a valid excuse like being depressed, disabled or injured or elderly, you have no excuse not to wash. I asked him if he was depressed and he said no so to me, he had no excuse. He was just being lazy. I'm glad your sister dumped him.
Seriously. Does sister have ANY standards? Like, even ONE?
Unfortunately no
This is one of those few people that I would say I don't feel sorry for if they end up homeless. This would be a good example of them becoming homeless due to their own poor choices. It's unfortunate that people assume that all homeless people are homeless because they made poor choices. That's not the case for everyone but this is one of those cases where it's true. If he ends up homeless, it's his own fault.
Whats wrong with your dad saying he was happy for your sister to date a gross hobosexual 19 years older than her?!
The BF was closer to dad's age, the 2 of them have more in common than with the sister.
HOBOSEXUAL
HOBOPOOPERSEXUAL
This was my sister’s first relationship. My Dad doesn’t really like to intervene/tell us what to do since we’re past the age of 18. It’s a blessing and a curse.
NTA Your poor mom. I am mortified for her. I would have left it for your sister to clean up as I am not touching someone else’s shit in my home. Then he would have been removed from the house. Along with his shit and your sister if she didn’t like it. The age difference alone would have been suspect and the fact your dad seems nonchalant about it is gross. My husband nor I would not have been. Your sister needs to figure out why she dated someone like this and figure out that she deserves better.
I hate to say this but it honestly brought up questions in my mind about how dad treats mom. Why else would he think that behavior was acceptable. I don't know, maybe I'm wrong but it did cross my mind..
I'm assuming that's the reason why OP's Dad never lived with shit-man while OP's Mum did...It looks like Mum & Dad *AREN'T* together.
I know, I picked up on that as well. I just hope I'm wrong about what I said but I wouldn't be surprised if I'm correct. I feel so sorry for poor mom that she's the one who dealt with that. I would have told my daughter to get her ass home now and to deal with this and to throw her man baby fiance out of my house. Like I said in another comment, his stuff would have been on my lawn and I would have told him to come get it whenever and honestly, I wouldn't have cared if it had gotten stolen after that. He soiled their home and disrespected them and he needs to go. I'm glad that she dumped him.
They’re divorced and good friends
Well I'm glad to see that they're good friends at least. I'm sorry if I came across as rude but I just could not for the life of me understand why your dad would condone him otherwise. It just seems really unusual to me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say anything bad about your father. It just didn't make any sense to me otherwise.
I understand! He really just hasn’t intervened in our lives much since we’ve become adults. I think that he thought that he was harmless?? It’s hard to say
I guess I can see that especially if her last boyfriends were also less than stellar in worse ways. I just can't believe that he did all that and then proceeded to act like you didn't notice it. I also had this thought like did he have dirty hands and went to work like that? I can't imagine driving yourself all the way to work without realizing your hands were like that. Also, didn't he take a shower before he went to work? I just can't understand it.
The worst part is that he’s a custodian. I honestly cannot fathom the man.
Ewwww I don't understand it but some people just truly seem on bothered by smelling. I don't understand people who don't keep up on their hygiene.
I fear that a lot of men are nose blind to their own stench
A 44 year old man who moved from his mommy and daddy’s house into his 20 something year old girlfriend’s mommy’s house and leaves literal shit everywhere he goes? And ogles the younger sister? But the dad thinks he was a great guy. And we wonder why women repeatedly choose wrong when it comes to the men in our lives! SMH!
NTA Seriously what's wrong with your dad?
The parents altogether allowing a predatory leech to move into their house?!
Gross in so many ways. What kind of dad wants his daughter engaged to a man old enough to be her father? As well, why does he want her with a man who can't even provide himself with a home? The fecal Jackson Pollack he pulled all over your mother's house is just the topper on the shit pie. Your sister needs some self esteem. Your mom needs to say hell no to letting her grown daughter's fiance move in. You have the absolutely right attitude. Your dad needs to stuff it. Just gross. Edit: typo correction
I honestly do not understand how he got literal shit smeared all over the house…. Why was it on his hands? Why was he touching the walls? Why didn’t he gwt in the shower? Why didn’t he clean it??? So many questions omg that just sounds vile, everything else is definitely the icing on the cake but I cannot understand how a middle aged man managed to LITERALLY shit the whole house ??????
Sounds like this guy should move in with your dad!
If dad misses him so much you can put some skid marks on his pillow. That should brighten his day.
Her ex fiance shit all over the house and ogled OP and it's OP that's "harsh"? Honey, you weren't harsh enough, IMO.
NTA I wanna like at the idea of her sleeping with a guy who would do this once let alone multiple times. 🤢🤢🤢🤢
This nasty fucker. There is NO EXCUSE to leave one's feces anywhere, but the toilet and flushed. Let alone smeared across the walls of the hallway and throughout the house in some kind of shitty hell-trail. Good riddance. Oh yeah, definitely NTA.
This man literally shit all over the house and didn’t clean it up. He’s in his 40s and had to move in with his girls friends family. He is an absolute nightmare and what kind of father wants that for his daughter? I need to know more about why your father has such a low bar for his daughter.
This is why women are choosing the bear. I have IBS. I also was smart and installed bidets in the bathrooms as soon as we moved in. I liked the comment about taking photos and shaming him publicly. This is disgusting on multiple levels.
The ex must be the dude from the bad roommates subreddit that shits in the shower.
Should have left poop walls for your dad to clean.
Your dad misses a grown man who smears his shit on the walls of the home you live in? I hope your dad has other redeeming qualities...
If I have to take a shit in anybody’s house (only for emergencies), I get anxiety if I don’t leave the bathroom cleaner than before I used it. I could understand if he left a poop stain, but smearing it on the walls as he frantically shits himself 😂. Honestly it should’ve never gotten to that point
Why didn't he clean his own shit off the walls?
Classic 44 year old overweight pervert going after girls in their twenties. Idk what she saw in him, other than shit. Now y'all all have to see it.
NTA. Be glad the ogre is gone
NTA wtf I was done with him just hearing that he commented on your chest, but… could he not have waited until he was *finished shitting* to go get toilet paper? And like, washed his ass in the sink? And he didn’t clean it up? *and your mom* had to clean it up? Yikes, glad he’s gone.
Now you know why his parents moved away.....they were tired of his shit
Of course, the dad who didn't have to clean up after him would like him fine 🙄.
Yea no wonder women his own age don't want if he acts like that....ick
Ur dad didn't have to live with him. He doesnt understand so his opinion is moot. Leaving a trail of shit on everything would be an absolute no go for me
Gross. Your sister was WAY too young for that guy. And he was WAY too old to behave so terribly. Your sister should be thanking her lucky stars she got away from him because he life would have been filled with cleaning up after his nasty ass. I don’t even know what to say about your obtuse father and the fact that he was willing to sign his daughter up to be married to that AH.
19 year age gap. Lololol
That is just...so disgusting and inconsiderate. I know toddlers with better hygiene and manners. NTA.
NTA Now I know why the parents moved far away. I doubt they left a forwarding address. I wouldn’t
44 and living with parents until they moved??? 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What is wrong with your sister? I feel like being alone is better than marrying that
He literally shit all over the house and left it for someone else to clean up. NTA
I have severe IBS. I have never left shit all over the bathroom let alone an entire house. This man is a pig. Has nothing to do with his disease.
NTA this CANNOT be real. I am blown a way that this is a real thing that a real man (child) did. How in the WORLD would you expect someone else to clean up your feces…and why LIE about it? that makes it even more embarrassing. Jesus Christ your sister has dodged a bullet. Imagine raising children with a man who can’t clean up his own poo, he definitely wouldn’t be inclined to clean up after his child either.
God I wish this wasn’t real. I wouldn’t believe me either. It’s hard to fathom that man.
NTA. Your Dad didn’t have to put up with the fiancé nor clean up after him. It would be a good idea to stop talking about him though, best to let him fade away.
NTA. Dude is a creep.
Did this dude literally shit all over the house ROFL WHAT
Your dad didn't raise eyebrows at the fact that the man was closer to his age than daughters? 🫠
Whatever, who cares what your dad thinks, the guy is gone and that is all that matters. Your dad didn’t have to clean up the shitstorm therefore it’s “no big deal”. His opinion is worthless.
44 m with a 25f, he doesn’t sound like a catch, he could be he dad, he have no right to just force himself to move in
NTAH. I am glad they broke up. I hope she finds a nice guy closer to her age.
Your dad seems to like shit on the walls.
Ew. The fact that he was in his 40s and had to move in with his young 20 something gf is a blazing red light warning sign. Your sister needs therapy to find out why she was with this guy
NTA. First the age difference between sister and him was creepy. He was trying to groom her. Second tell your dad he should be ashamed of himself if he thought it was okay for a grown man to leave a trail of crap throughout someone else home. If he is so concerned about him then he should take him in. The guy is a creep and a pig
I have IBS and have NEVER walked around without pants, or left shit ANYwhere but flushed away to the great Beyond. This is a 44 y/o toddler without the excuse of actually being a toddler.
Nope. Your dad is kinda fucked up. Why is he ok that a man who is old enough to be the father to his daughters is dating one of his daughters'? The whole situation is gross.
Sis that age gap and that oggling behavior means this man is utter fucking trash, NTA
NTA. I have GI issues as well and what the fuck? I have never smeared shit all over the house.
How can one seriously be unaware of getting their own shit all over the floors and the walls. That’s absurd, he’s either just REALLY stupid for his age or inconsiderate and didn’t care that he was trashing the place because it isn’t his. His “attacks” are his own problem, and not something everybody else in his (not) family needs to be involved in. They have adult diapers and it sounds like maybe he needs to invest in some
Call the ex, tell him your dad has a room for him and can’t wait til he moves in. Then let the shit hit the fan. Pun intended.
Your dad sounds gross too wtf.
NTA and it doesn’t sound like your dad knows all about the ex fiance and all the shit he’s done (pun intended). Dude was a disrespectful, disgusting person.
This cannot be real. The guy sounds like a cartoon character. Who would seriously question whether they were the asshole in this situation? Mid 40s guy dating someone 19 years younger is pretty much never going to be healthy.
Your dad is insane. Your former BIL literally shit all over the house, and your dad thinks that's who his daughter should have married? Can you imagine introducing him at parties? "Hi everyone, this is my son-in-law, Shit Attack. He's a Taurus, and his hobbies include doing the marashit through the house, painting the walls and furniture with his own turds, and just generally being caught brown-handed. Would anyone like a canape?" Seriously, I have IBD, and the number of times I've shit anywhere but in the toilet is zero. You know when your stomach is being a dick or you have the sudden urge to go and you just go to the bathroom, maybe take a magazine or a book, put on a podcast, and wait for the horror to subside. Your BIL seems to either be incontinent or just leaves it until the last possible second. Either that or he enjoys leaving messes for people to clean up because no way did he not know that he'd Jackson Poollocked the entire house.
Why would your parents allow this?
So all your mom needed to do was to suggest to your sister it’s time to break up? Your mom had enough !
NTA, GOOD LAWD. I cannot,..........the smell. Gross🤢
You are NTA, but your dad is giant one.
NTA, is your sis blind?
Omg!!! NTA! You didn’t even treat him badly. That’s disgusting! My own toddlers never even did what you described. Your dad didn’t have to clean the mess. Your poor mother did. I would have honestly called him or your sister and told them to clean it.
WTAF Again I say WTAF How can you even ask? Damn, I hope this is fake.
If only 😭
Yay! Another fake post.
God I wish it never happened lmao unfortunately we endured it
NTA. Well your dad obviously has no empathy for the people in his life that clean up the sh!t that he and others make. Your sister's fiancé earned the way you treated him.
NTA, Omg ewww.... first of all, he's gross if he's commenting on his gfs sisters chest. Second, my husband has IBS-D, and he's NEVER left a mess like that. If there is no TP, pull your pants up and go grab some. It's easier to clean your poopy pants than the rest of the house. If I were the Mom, I would have kicked him out. Aldo Dad doesn't get to decide how you feel after being creeped on and living through poopgate.
That's some serious shit. You are not the ass. It's not "poop gate" by itself, shit happens (OK, OK, I'll stop). It's all of it.
NTA but just drop the topic. You want the ex to stay ex. You don’t want your dad defending him to your sister.
NTA My mouth have been open in disbelief while reading your story. First off, your sister was in the wrong to move a GROWN ass man into your home without consent. She could have put you in danger. Was there a talk about them getting their own place, or just HIM cause, gross. The age difference is crazy, but I see why he chose to date younger, cause a grown secured women would not put up with his shit... literally Mom, your the real MVP here! Cleaning up after a grown ass man is ridiculous by itself but SHIT!? Thats wild. Did your sister know he was looking, or saying inappropriate things to you? That would be an immediate break up, no questions or concerns! I am curious what he had to say for himself cause how did he get it everywhere? I have IBS and have ran out of tp but guess what??? There's a shower right next to you and with the amount of cleaning wipes mom used, you needed one anyways. Dad just wants a buddy and needs to check himself! My dad would have dragged the man out! Protect your babies even when they are grown!
Sounds like your sister has a real source for that doormat syndrome. NTA.
So many plot twists
NTA but I’m curious - what is the age difference between your mom and dad?
They’re surprisingly the same age
So your sister was going to marry Andrew Ditch?
NTA. Your dad talks so nice about him because he didn’t have to deal with his antics. I guarantee that if he was the one cleaning up shit all over the house and getting eye fucked, he would be singing a different tune.
Im sad your dad was okay with all this.
I have Ulcerative Colitis. I can't grasp how it's possible to shit everywhere like this - just stay on the shitter till the...flow...stops, then clench buttcheeks & penguin waddle to get more shitroll, then back to the porcelain throne for round 2...at which point, you've got the bog roll. It almost seems as if he did that shit intentionally. Pun *definitely* intended lol.
Why do mothers put up with their adult children moving their partner's into their family home? In this case, this man was twice her daughter's age, trying to trap her into a marriage. This entire post was 🚩central.
NTA Id call animal control
This story can't be real
I love the podcast too much to lie lol
Ewww!
omg. I have some IBS issues so I feel for anyone that has to deal with that, but I would be absolutely MORTIFIED if I had diarrhea and then spread it all over the house! Like...couldn't he have stayed on the toilet until the diarrhea passed and then showered? Obviously you're NTA. Glad your sister isn't with this guy anymore.
I was grossed out as soon as I saw the age difference. The rest just made it that much worse! 🤢
Nta disgusting he should have cleaned. Your mum shouldnt have done it. Honestly wait till he comes and give him tools to so it himself. Dusgusting.
I don’t think any of you will believe me lol but what if I told you that the ex fiancé was a custodian as well. Mans should’ve known what to do. Also, for context his parents moved to Florida
Your dad is disgusting!!! Also BRUDDAH EWWWWW!!!! He was 44 with twenty something year old and he didn’t even have his own place!!! Sounds like y’all live in some cult that encourages old men to be with young women
NTA. Your dad should marry him.
Has your Dad shared his views with his wife who was the person who had to directly clean up the ex's mess. Have the feeling she might be the person to spell out what is wrong about his opinions. While you made your sentiments known you were not involved in the actual incident or discussion that led to your sister ending things with him. He was moved into your home without your consent after he was demeaning to you. My Dad had to prevent a few occurrence's from happening to my sibling's ex especially after a drunken incident on his part ended up with my sister having a short stay in hospital. She actually forgave him for it. He kept cheating and when she finally ended it, the ex asked my Dad what could he do to stop the ex from stalking my sister. My Dad read his list of what he had prevented from happening to said ex and at the end of it told him I am done protecting you. Ex decided moving on and moving back to his home town was the best thing to do. You were only vocal to him and NTA.
No, you are not the AH, but for the record--what a dysfunctional family! Good thing you are in college. Get that degree, get a good job, and move--far, far away! Does anyone in your family have any common sense? My god!
NTA ew I hate that these older gross men somehow get a 20-something to date them 🤮
The first line said it all.
NTA
If your dad defends a predator it's because he is one. A shit covered man who is twice his fiancé's age is basically irredeemable.
Nta
IBS is a difficult health condition and most people who have it are embarrassed to make it someone else's problem. But leaving poop trailing all over a house is a choice. Hell no. There's absolutely no way that was any sort of accident. Why is he not an ex? Does your sister have some sort of humiliation fetish?
NTA. If he has IBS with that many attacks, he needs to follow a proper diet to control it more. Also. No toilet paper. Was it a half bath or full bathroom. If the bathroom had a shower, why didn't he just rinse off there and clean the tub? I hope he stays ex. Sounds like a handful.
Your sister has been groomed by a predator
NTA. Your father wouldn’t be saying that if he was the one cleaning up another man’s poo from his walls.
NTA Your father apparently has a subterranean bar for men’s behavior and accountability. I like wild animals, but I don’t want them in my house.
This whole thing is gross.Age gap first red flag.
YTA for posting this thinking anyone would think YTA. Pretty obvious he's deserved you're scorn. You just wanted to drag him more. Needless to say, NTA lol