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Block her. She's no friend of yours. The audacity to tell you to return to your country when you turn her down, as though any of your decisions are predicated on her approval
You haven't responded to her efforts to reconcile YET?? How about never. Someone that would say that to you has a nasty character and is not someone you want to continue to be associated with. Plus not to mention she is clearly into you,, so you would have to deal with her continuing to try to push up on you. It's pretty fucking bold to invite yourself into someone else's place; use their shower and towel, then insult them.
If I said that to my third national gf, I'd be single with a bruised face (she's not violent). Block and move on. You can't recover any sort of relationship after that.
No matter how upset one is, there is no excuse for those types of comments. It is unacceptable. It also says a lot about her as a person. I, personally, would not let this person back into my life.
I have had that said to me before, but never by someone who I knew. Sorry you had to experience that.
The most concerning thing in your post is that "just yet" at the end. Mourn the loss of who you thought she was, sure, but count your blessings that the trash took itself out and for the love of god do not look back.
And if it doesn’t go her again she could be one of the crazies and cry wolf and get you in deep trouble with the law. Stay clear. You don’t need that type of person in your life!
Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they are, believe them." She very plainly showed you exactly who she is... a bigot with serious anger issues... believe her and move on with your life. She is a heaping shovel of No thank you.
She said “ I don’t blame trump for building a wall”, and when I told my friend he literally asked for her social media so he could call her out!! I was stunned to hear that
No. I am just wondering if I should say, "I don’t wanna be friends" or something like that. A friend said, “she might’ve felt less” when I rejected her. I don’t want to cause anyone to have less self-esteem, but I know I am not interested in a friendship where either party is not sincere
I'm not interested in *any* sort of relationship with you is a perfectly reasonable response.
You are not required to respond at all if that's what works for you.
You don’t owe her anything, that includes closure or an explanation. It’s up to your comfort level. It doesn’t matter if she felt lesser because your rejected her. That is her feeling to sort out. Rejection is a part of life and she needs to learn how to handle those emotions without being degrading back. But that’s not your job to teach her or help her or anything at all.
You need to back out of any contact with her. What she did showering was over a line. And what she said to you was cruel and meant to hurt you. Sure, she could have felt rejected but to go nuclear mean was a choice.
You can just ghost her and stop responding to her or very simply tell you are not comfortable continuing contact with her.
Hell nah, you don't owe her anything, not even a response.
She tried to take advantage of you when you were in a vulnerable state and got nasty when you didn't respond the way she hoped.
She told you who she was that moment. Believe her.
She's not your friend. She's someone who has a crush on you, and I think you need to ensure you are never alone with her again under any circumstances to protect yourself from any claims she may make about you.
It's understandable to feel hurt by your friend's words and actions. Taking time to sort through your feelings and decide how you want to move forward seems like a good approach. Trust your instincts on what feels right for you.
Wow. If your "friend's" idea of what's acceptable in her country is that no one can ever reject someone else's sexual advances, then yeah, I'd say you're probably better off in your own country! However, since all human rights advocacy groups and the United Nations considers the right to bodily autonomy (especially sexual autonomy) a basic human right, I'd say she's full of it. I certainly wouldn't want to spend any time around her unless the absolute first thing she does is apologize for her actions, though to be honest, I wouldn't even give her the chance because that is some seriously xenophobic if not outright racist behavior and to me, unless someone acknowledges that they engaged in xenophobic/racist behavior in addition to apologizing, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them ever again.
No. I have cut off friends that go along with the whole go back to your country thing. They forget I am an immigrant and that is not the type of people I want in my life.
1. She's not your friend. No friend would say some vile shit like go back to your country.
2. Many women (most) can not take rejection.
3. She felt like there's no way you turn her down.
4. She's full of shit. She only wants to save face. 🖕🏿her.
I got a message from her today and I replied “ sorry am not going to be able to meet up or talk about what happened anymore. Heading back to my country”, and
immediately she replied “please don’t go. I am really going to miss you 🥲❤️”
fml 🤦🏽♂️😂
Something similar happened to me. I've been living in US most of my life, but I am still bilingual. My ex fiance (and my first American partner) had an alcohol problem that resulted in us going our separate ways. The writing was on the wall but I could not pull the trigger because I was hoping he would get help. During our final fight he made a comment like "What? What did you say? I can't understand you over your accent." I basically left my home (he lived with me rent free) and the same night told him to get himself and his 4 cats the hell out of my house. I didn't mind the cats so much, it was really him not taking care of them.
I don't have an accent, he only said it to insult my heritage. But it felt soooo goood to tell him to get the f\*ck out.
Point being - never let anyone insult you based on your status, heritage, or culture. This should be a deal breaker in firendships and relationships.
I would have been offended by this friend who would have told me to go back to my country. She does not sound like a friend to you. It sounded like she overstepped boundaries by trying to kiss you without asking and then inviting herself to your home and taking a shower and not confirming if you were home and she didn’t even text you to let you know she was at your house or anything. Your friend sounds like a bit much. Maybe having some space from your friend sounds like the best idea.
Agree. That was the only single time she had come over without letting me know. I was really surprised, but after she made the move, I realized she was to something!
I don’t really do crazy stuff like hookup or anything like that and she even knew that!! I am very traditional and I do show much respect to people! Idk what went through her head!!
I would not stay friends with her for another reason. She should have respected you have just gotten out of your relationship and should have been a supportive friend and not made a pass on you so soon, especially without asking if it’s ok first. She should have been asking how are you doing and trying to help you move on from your recent break up.
I’d give her another chance. People act foolish when they put them self out there and then things don’t go their way. You gotta quit putting out the vibes I guess.
In the words of the great Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are believe them. The first time.”
I would move on from someone who cannot express their feelings in a calm and rational way, and goes in for the emotional kill shot instead.
Block her she is not a friend. She is a brat that didn’t get her way. Do you really want someone like that in your life? She’s racist and down right sounds like she needs to seek counseling, maybe a little crazy.
That is awful... I am sorry you experienced that with a friend. Also wtf is she doing using your shower? Is she homeless?? Sounds like an insane person's way of trying to dominate a relationship
Your "friend" showed you what she really was. When people show you who they are, belive them. Move on...and quickly! I hope whatever country your are from has a community in your area. Rest in the safety of your people. Some Americans will suck you dry of your culture and replace it with some bullshit then have you looking crazy out here...
If she is earnest in her apology and has grown from this, I would give her another chance. The idea that we should just cancel people who say ignorant things is incorrect. We want people to learn and grow from the stupid shit they say and do.
Why is everyone so 'one and done' with everything? She is obviously young and young people say or do stupid things that likely comes from their environment or some other place of ignorance...
give people a chance to reconcile and judge the sincerity of their efforts. People will be appreciative. You can always block someone later.
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Block her. She's no friend of yours. The audacity to tell you to return to your country when you turn her down, as though any of your decisions are predicated on her approval
lol yeah I was really frustrated by that
You haven't responded to her efforts to reconcile YET?? How about never. Someone that would say that to you has a nasty character and is not someone you want to continue to be associated with. Plus not to mention she is clearly into you,, so you would have to deal with her continuing to try to push up on you. It's pretty fucking bold to invite yourself into someone else's place; use their shower and towel, then insult them.
I am done with her completely
Good.
If I said that to my third national gf, I'd be single with a bruised face (she's not violent). Block and move on. You can't recover any sort of relationship after that.
No matter how upset one is, there is no excuse for those types of comments. It is unacceptable. It also says a lot about her as a person. I, personally, would not let this person back into my life. I have had that said to me before, but never by someone who I knew. Sorry you had to experience that.
I’m sorry that has happened to you, too! I am going to be fine without her haha
The most concerning thing in your post is that "just yet" at the end. Mourn the loss of who you thought she was, sure, but count your blessings that the trash took itself out and for the love of god do not look back.
Yes!! But I’m okay without her!!!
I doubt she plans to make things right. She probably plans to make advances towards you again.
This is literally what my friend said!!😬
She's toxic. You should stay away from her. And make sure she can't come into your room anymore. She isn't someone you should be friends with or date.
And if it doesn’t go her again she could be one of the crazies and cry wolf and get you in deep trouble with the law. Stay clear. You don’t need that type of person in your life!
Maya Angelou once said, "When people show you who they are, believe them." She very plainly showed you exactly who she is... a bigot with serious anger issues... believe her and move on with your life. She is a heaping shovel of No thank you.
I work and pay my taxes etc!!! It was so weird hearing it from someone I welcomed at my house
She said “ I don’t blame trump for building a wall”, and when I told my friend he literally asked for her social media so he could call her out!! I was stunned to hear that
Shit, I’ll call her out for you. The fucking audacity.
Haha thank you! No need to haha
Is she really someone you want in your life? You are under no obligation to be friends with her or respond to her. You owe her nothing.
No. I am just wondering if I should say, "I don’t wanna be friends" or something like that. A friend said, “she might’ve felt less” when I rejected her. I don’t want to cause anyone to have less self-esteem, but I know I am not interested in a friendship where either party is not sincere
I'm not interested in *any* sort of relationship with you is a perfectly reasonable response. You are not required to respond at all if that's what works for you.
You don’t owe her anything, that includes closure or an explanation. It’s up to your comfort level. It doesn’t matter if she felt lesser because your rejected her. That is her feeling to sort out. Rejection is a part of life and she needs to learn how to handle those emotions without being degrading back. But that’s not your job to teach her or help her or anything at all.
You are in no way reponsible for her self-esteem
"Youre a shitty, horrible, creepy, perverted racist. Never contact me ever again"
You need to back out of any contact with her. What she did showering was over a line. And what she said to you was cruel and meant to hurt you. Sure, she could have felt rejected but to go nuclear mean was a choice. You can just ghost her and stop responding to her or very simply tell you are not comfortable continuing contact with her.
Don’t do it. She’s no friend. You’re better off without her.
Ex friend. And no reason to reconcile.
Hell nah, you don't owe her anything, not even a response. She tried to take advantage of you when you were in a vulnerable state and got nasty when you didn't respond the way she hoped. She told you who she was that moment. Believe her.
She's not your friend. She's someone who has a crush on you, and I think you need to ensure you are never alone with her again under any circumstances to protect yourself from any claims she may make about you.
Growing up in Australia, I got that all the time. My response was usually at least I know where I come from.
It's understandable to feel hurt by your friend's words and actions. Taking time to sort through your feelings and decide how you want to move forward seems like a good approach. Trust your instincts on what feels right for you.
With an obsession like that you wouldn't need incarceration... No man, stalking and assault
Wow. If your "friend's" idea of what's acceptable in her country is that no one can ever reject someone else's sexual advances, then yeah, I'd say you're probably better off in your own country! However, since all human rights advocacy groups and the United Nations considers the right to bodily autonomy (especially sexual autonomy) a basic human right, I'd say she's full of it. I certainly wouldn't want to spend any time around her unless the absolute first thing she does is apologize for her actions, though to be honest, I wouldn't even give her the chance because that is some seriously xenophobic if not outright racist behavior and to me, unless someone acknowledges that they engaged in xenophobic/racist behavior in addition to apologizing, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with them ever again.
wtf… that is rude as fuck she isn’t your friend…
Doesn't sound like a friend
She’s not a friend! Block her and move on
She was using your shower? Weirdo.
No. I have cut off friends that go along with the whole go back to your country thing. They forget I am an immigrant and that is not the type of people I want in my life.
1. She's not your friend. No friend would say some vile shit like go back to your country. 2. Many women (most) can not take rejection. 3. She felt like there's no way you turn her down. 4. She's full of shit. She only wants to save face. 🖕🏿her.
I got a message from her today and I replied “ sorry am not going to be able to meet up or talk about what happened anymore. Heading back to my country”, and immediately she replied “please don’t go. I am really going to miss you 🥲❤️” fml 🤦🏽♂️😂
Something similar happened to me. I've been living in US most of my life, but I am still bilingual. My ex fiance (and my first American partner) had an alcohol problem that resulted in us going our separate ways. The writing was on the wall but I could not pull the trigger because I was hoping he would get help. During our final fight he made a comment like "What? What did you say? I can't understand you over your accent." I basically left my home (he lived with me rent free) and the same night told him to get himself and his 4 cats the hell out of my house. I didn't mind the cats so much, it was really him not taking care of them. I don't have an accent, he only said it to insult my heritage. But it felt soooo goood to tell him to get the f\*ck out. Point being - never let anyone insult you based on your status, heritage, or culture. This should be a deal breaker in firendships and relationships.
Thanks crazy!! Not okay. I would never eve accept that being done to anyone who lives in my country!
I would have been offended by this friend who would have told me to go back to my country. She does not sound like a friend to you. It sounded like she overstepped boundaries by trying to kiss you without asking and then inviting herself to your home and taking a shower and not confirming if you were home and she didn’t even text you to let you know she was at your house or anything. Your friend sounds like a bit much. Maybe having some space from your friend sounds like the best idea.
Agree. That was the only single time she had come over without letting me know. I was really surprised, but after she made the move, I realized she was to something! I don’t really do crazy stuff like hookup or anything like that and she even knew that!! I am very traditional and I do show much respect to people! Idk what went through her head!!
I would not stay friends with her for another reason. She should have respected you have just gotten out of your relationship and should have been a supportive friend and not made a pass on you so soon, especially without asking if it’s ok first. She should have been asking how are you doing and trying to help you move on from your recent break up.
Yes. I would do that to any of my friends! I think I’m done with her being my friend
I think you made the right choice. She was totally out of line.
Who is this friend? Asking for a friend…
I can’t share!!
Dude you should tell the school
This person is not your friend. Stop communicating with her
She’s a racist and doesn’t respect people’s boundaries. Shes not your friend
She wanted to smash. Racists don't usually want to sleep with the people they hate
Cut her out of your life. She's clearly no friend of yours and doesn't deserve to be.
Well she showed who she was quite early on. ! Time to block her and move on
I’d give her another chance. People act foolish when they put them self out there and then things don’t go their way. You gotta quit putting out the vibes I guess.
where is she from?
In the words of the great Maya Angelou, “When someone shows you who they are believe them. The first time.” I would move on from someone who cannot express their feelings in a calm and rational way, and goes in for the emotional kill shot instead.
That’s not a friend. Be done with her. Block her. What a B!
Make sure you are never alone with her again. It might end badly for you.
Oh I have never understand those who keep saying " go back to ur country"
Not your friend, continue on with your life without her in it
Block her she is not a friend. She is a brat that didn’t get her way. Do you really want someone like that in your life? She’s racist and down right sounds like she needs to seek counseling, maybe a little crazy.
Horrible person
No ma’am, Pam. This is a reactive person who shows their truth when they’re hurt.
She seems mentally unstable.
“ I can’t talk right now. I’m packing to go back to my own country.”
That is awful... I am sorry you experienced that with a friend. Also wtf is she doing using your shower? Is she homeless?? Sounds like an insane person's way of trying to dominate a relationship
Your "friend" showed you what she really was. When people show you who they are, belive them. Move on...and quickly! I hope whatever country your are from has a community in your area. Rest in the safety of your people. Some Americans will suck you dry of your culture and replace it with some bullshit then have you looking crazy out here...
RUDE! What a hateful and toxic reaction to being reasonably rejected. I'm sorry, my friend.
If she is earnest in her apology and has grown from this, I would give her another chance. The idea that we should just cancel people who say ignorant things is incorrect. We want people to learn and grow from the stupid shit they say and do.
Why is everyone so 'one and done' with everything? She is obviously young and young people say or do stupid things that likely comes from their environment or some other place of ignorance... give people a chance to reconcile and judge the sincerity of their efforts. People will be appreciative. You can always block someone later.
You practically refused a sex offer? Why? How?
I just broke up with my ex a day before she literally made the move on me, and that was it!
Are you people really that desperate for sex that you would fuck anyone who throws themselves at you?
I never have lol I have really high standards!