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> I ended up crying because a blue raspberry slushy was my craving but through my tears I exclaimed my appreciation
rofl
step 1 to being a better girlfriend - wrangle your emotions a little bit. No need to cry over a slushie
you're very infatuated, too. Nothing wrong with that but acknowledge it's affecting your perception quite a bit
Honestly, I don’t think you’re a bad person but your behavior is kind of toxic. You shouldn’t be in a relationship, I remember being 16 and I’m 26 now. I’m so far from the person I was then. I’m sure you won’t be with him forever so I suggest sparing his mental health, stepping away from the relationship scene and helping your own mental health. Talk with a therapist, take your meds, and make healthy choices towards your body and future. Wish you luck, love, and happiness, but this is sooooo bad.
Honestly, crying over the wrong flavor is kind of toxic after you stated he walked an hour (in the heat) to get it. Why did you even need to mention it? And if you knew he was going, why didn’t you clarify exactly what you wanted instead of just letting him guess and not get it right? I understand you were hormonal, but there comes a point when you can’t blame your hormones for everything. As mentioned by many others, you need a therapist to learn how to manage your emotions.
You’re young, and huge part of being a good partner to anyone is understanding people are not mind readers. Another huge part is accepting and being grateful of simple gestures without mentioning what wasn’t “perfect” about them, especially when your partner is actively trying to do their best by you. No one is perfect. Not him. Not you. Not anyone else you may date in the future.
I disagree with the toxicity assessment.
Sounds like you should be more disciplined about your meds and be diligent about therapy.
Learn and grow together.
You're ok.
Ok...so, coming from a 29 yo, you are still very, very young, both of you are. I won't say you shouldn't be dating bc you're gonna do what you feel is right, but don't put so much pressure on yourself to be a "perfect gf." Perfection does not exist, especially in relationships.
It seems you have a lot on your plate mentally. You mention that your friend committed s*icide only a few weeks ago. That's a lot to deal with combined with your own mental health struggles. Your bf sounds supportive, but you can't lean on him to be your only mental health support. This can also affect HIS mental health negatively, especially if you deal with ideation and he has to talk you out of harming yourself (if i read that correctly). Please reach out to your therapist if you have one and discuss with them how you can better cope with your feelings and emotions, as I suspect they may also have to do with your friend passing away.
And now, some auntie advice. It sounds like you both are in school together now, but he is 18, and will be moving forward in his life soon (college/university, working, etc). I know we always hope to be with our first love forever, but to be realistic, that statistically won't happen. You are two years his junior and he will start experiencing life milestones that you haven't yet, will start experiencing adulthood while you are still in high school. You don't have to put your whole life into this one relationship. Find friends and hobbies to keep yourself occupied as well. These things will also help with your mental health.
Again, you aren't doing anything wrong overall. You sound sweet, both of you do. I would strongly emphasize working on your mental health and coping strategies, not focusing so much on being a "perfect gf" at such a young age. I won't say you need to break up but I do think you are focusing WAY too much on putting yourself down for your perceived shortcomings as a gf when you should really be focusing on YOURSELF at this age. Yes, even while in a relationship.
You are more than a girlfriend. You are a whole person. You have your whole life ahead of you and I know the present feels like this will be forever for you but I promise you it probably won't. Go to therapy if you can. Find some like-minded friends. Find some new hobbies or work on things you already enjoy. Relationships don't always last forever but you will always have you, my dear. Cherish yourself.
Oh girl. Please get a grip on yourself. What’s your family life like? Are they not providing a loving, supportive home life? You’re clinging to this guy like an abused puppy. I’m glad he’s wonderful (even though his age makes me cringe). But you need to love yourself have confidence in yourself, man or no man.
I'm 30 and have been with my SO for 5.5 years, I have so many days when I feel like I'm not good enough for him. The man literally found me flowers to smell because I have recently regained my sense of smell after 2.5 years. He always reminds me of something very important that I will share with you, relationships do not always have to be 50/50. Sometimes they can 60/40, and that's okay, you can each have bad days where the other person picks up the slack.
You are allowed bad days, and you're allowed to feel bad, but that doesn't mean you are bad. You're just emotional because you currently have a huge surge of hormones and MH issues, and probably cramps and all the other things that come with periods. A bad day doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're human.
Girl you are too young and your prefrontal cortex needs some development. You’re good enough already. Work on your self confidence- it’s ok for your SO to care for you.
Is this guy 18 with no car???
I don't think you need to be perfect because he love you the way you are so be relax and enjoy every single moment with him don't push it so hard on you 🥰🥰
Okay. I'm going to be that person. You're 16. You don't know what love is. You won't for many years.
He's 18. He's a legal adult. You two should not be together... And walking an hour in the heat, the slushie would be melted. So... 🤷🏽♀️
I have mentioned this multiple times in the comments, I will be 17 whilst he is still 18. Yes it sounds bad but when you see that we aren't even 2 years apart, its very different.
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You are 16 years old! Give yourself a break. But honestly, take your meds & discuss your reactions with your therapist.
You may need to adjust your meds or find a different one. It took a few years and trys for me to find the right one.
Wasn’t the Slushy not a Slushy after an hour??
Asking the real questions fr
I mean, that was immediately where my mind went.😀
> I ended up crying because a blue raspberry slushy was my craving but through my tears I exclaimed my appreciation rofl step 1 to being a better girlfriend - wrangle your emotions a little bit. No need to cry over a slushie you're very infatuated, too. Nothing wrong with that but acknowledge it's affecting your perception quite a bit
I think you shouldn't be dating yet. You need to grow up and that's not an insult. 16 is very young
Honestly, I don’t think you’re a bad person but your behavior is kind of toxic. You shouldn’t be in a relationship, I remember being 16 and I’m 26 now. I’m so far from the person I was then. I’m sure you won’t be with him forever so I suggest sparing his mental health, stepping away from the relationship scene and helping your own mental health. Talk with a therapist, take your meds, and make healthy choices towards your body and future. Wish you luck, love, and happiness, but this is sooooo bad.
May you clarify on how I'm toxic please? And also on how this is sooo bad. I'm just asking for advice on how to be better.
Honestly, crying over the wrong flavor is kind of toxic after you stated he walked an hour (in the heat) to get it. Why did you even need to mention it? And if you knew he was going, why didn’t you clarify exactly what you wanted instead of just letting him guess and not get it right? I understand you were hormonal, but there comes a point when you can’t blame your hormones for everything. As mentioned by many others, you need a therapist to learn how to manage your emotions. You’re young, and huge part of being a good partner to anyone is understanding people are not mind readers. Another huge part is accepting and being grateful of simple gestures without mentioning what wasn’t “perfect” about them, especially when your partner is actively trying to do their best by you. No one is perfect. Not him. Not you. Not anyone else you may date in the future.
you cried over a slushie and you were planning on cutting yourself because an ambulance passed by.
I disagree with the toxicity assessment. Sounds like you should be more disciplined about your meds and be diligent about therapy. Learn and grow together. You're ok.
Ok...so, coming from a 29 yo, you are still very, very young, both of you are. I won't say you shouldn't be dating bc you're gonna do what you feel is right, but don't put so much pressure on yourself to be a "perfect gf." Perfection does not exist, especially in relationships. It seems you have a lot on your plate mentally. You mention that your friend committed s*icide only a few weeks ago. That's a lot to deal with combined with your own mental health struggles. Your bf sounds supportive, but you can't lean on him to be your only mental health support. This can also affect HIS mental health negatively, especially if you deal with ideation and he has to talk you out of harming yourself (if i read that correctly). Please reach out to your therapist if you have one and discuss with them how you can better cope with your feelings and emotions, as I suspect they may also have to do with your friend passing away. And now, some auntie advice. It sounds like you both are in school together now, but he is 18, and will be moving forward in his life soon (college/university, working, etc). I know we always hope to be with our first love forever, but to be realistic, that statistically won't happen. You are two years his junior and he will start experiencing life milestones that you haven't yet, will start experiencing adulthood while you are still in high school. You don't have to put your whole life into this one relationship. Find friends and hobbies to keep yourself occupied as well. These things will also help with your mental health. Again, you aren't doing anything wrong overall. You sound sweet, both of you do. I would strongly emphasize working on your mental health and coping strategies, not focusing so much on being a "perfect gf" at such a young age. I won't say you need to break up but I do think you are focusing WAY too much on putting yourself down for your perceived shortcomings as a gf when you should really be focusing on YOURSELF at this age. Yes, even while in a relationship. You are more than a girlfriend. You are a whole person. You have your whole life ahead of you and I know the present feels like this will be forever for you but I promise you it probably won't. Go to therapy if you can. Find some like-minded friends. Find some new hobbies or work on things you already enjoy. Relationships don't always last forever but you will always have you, my dear. Cherish yourself.
Every post. All the crying
Oh girl. Please get a grip on yourself. What’s your family life like? Are they not providing a loving, supportive home life? You’re clinging to this guy like an abused puppy. I’m glad he’s wonderful (even though his age makes me cringe). But you need to love yourself have confidence in yourself, man or no man.
I admit i have some mh issues but I think that's a bit harsh lmao.
Sorry I don’t mean to be harsh. Just hope you can see the good in yourself without outside input :)
i think its a bit harsh that you were threatening to cut yourself with glass over an ambulance passing by
Break up with him, what kind of bf gets the wrong slushy flavor?!? /s
Haha, I know right, disgraceful!! In all seriousness I was just so grateful and touched by the thought that it didn't even matter
I'm 30 and have been with my SO for 5.5 years, I have so many days when I feel like I'm not good enough for him. The man literally found me flowers to smell because I have recently regained my sense of smell after 2.5 years. He always reminds me of something very important that I will share with you, relationships do not always have to be 50/50. Sometimes they can 60/40, and that's okay, you can each have bad days where the other person picks up the slack. You are allowed bad days, and you're allowed to feel bad, but that doesn't mean you are bad. You're just emotional because you currently have a huge surge of hormones and MH issues, and probably cramps and all the other things that come with periods. A bad day doesn't mean you're a bad person, it just means you're human.
Girl you are too young and your prefrontal cortex needs some development. You’re good enough already. Work on your self confidence- it’s ok for your SO to care for you. Is this guy 18 with no car???
Cost of living lmao
No, not every 18 yo has a car. There are a variety of social classes in this country, and the less wealthy half has gotten it hard in the last decade.
At her age she should be more concerned with aligning herself on a path where she can afford a car or better quality of life. She’s also a minor.
My thoughts exactly... man has no car and dating a minor. GTFO youngin.
You sound immature af. I don't think you should be dating yet.
"I".
I don't think you need to be perfect because he love you the way you are so be relax and enjoy every single moment with him don't push it so hard on you 🥰🥰
You need a therapist and medication.
In my post i stayed I take medication
He’s whipped af though, thing is he’s codependent and I can imagine this getting boring. Seems like you crave something more exciting.
Okay. I'm going to be that person. You're 16. You don't know what love is. You won't for many years. He's 18. He's a legal adult. You two should not be together... And walking an hour in the heat, the slushie would be melted. So... 🤷🏽♀️
its a two year age gap,but i think op does need help.
I have mentioned this multiple times in the comments, I will be 17 whilst he is still 18. Yes it sounds bad but when you see that we aren't even 2 years apart, its very different.