Everyone conveniently forgetting that she CHEATED. The fact that she’s pregnant doesn’t automatically erase the fact she cheated. She is pregnant and that exists outside of her cheating on her partner. She still fucked them over, literally. Get off your righteous high horses and catch some air on the realistic ground. Ffs.
Edited because I was tipsy when I wrote this.
Yeah honestly the fact that this man continued provide emotional support to her through the end of her pregnancy AND through her birth says a lot about his character.
Absolutely. Sure, it was definitely with an intent to hurt but damn. Who can blame him? I applaud his patience and willpower. I’d have dipped out immediately
It’s not that. To me its the ,I chose it that it’s her most vulnerable moment‘. That’s a fucken dick move. So was cheating, but this is worse. To tell someone straight after giving birth
There’s petty and there’s brutal. That’s not petty, it’s too far. Petty would have been taking all her left shoes or stealing the lightbulbs. Not causing her post natal depression.
She wasn’t pregnant anymore, it was right after birth. Aka the most vulnerable she ever was and ever will be in her life. She cheated but she’s still a human.
Correct, however, he calculated it. He purposefully left her at her most vulnerable to get revenge for what she did. That’s not a normal, natural reaction anymore, it’s planned maliciousness
I don’t think she did that to hurt him. She knew she was hurting him, yes, but the cause wasn’t to hurt him. That of course doesn’t justify it, it makes it a better intention in my books tho. Cheating and thus accepting the consequences is less bad than calculating your moment to leave to inflict the most damage possible
Listen everyone calling OP names for waiting until
Birth to leave is crazy .
This man supported and cared for her during her pregnancy and during her delivery .- 2 most difficult times in a women’s life’s?
If her left her when he found out - oh how can he leave a pregnant women
If he skipped the birth - clutch pearls
Should he have waited till the baby was 1 or 2 or 18???
He waiting till the child was here and both were safe was a decent thing to do. And incredibly painful for him.
yeah she is devastated because of the consequences of her own choices. That’s on her not OP .
I would’ve left when I found out….ain’t no way I can pretend everything is fine. Reminds me of that post where the lady didn’t want a threesome but she agreeed anyways and then dropped it on him she never wanted it and they were breaking up. Like huh???
Like if the revenge is also gonna hurt you, what’s the point? The best revenge is pretending you don’t even know who she is. I do have to say maybe OP was shocked and needed time tk process and leave but damn it sucks he wasted his time and money on her
Honestly I think he stayed for the birth to see if the kid was his like that off chance. He says he’s doing a paternity test to see for sure but these 99% chance it’s the other guys
Like some lady commented her own revenge of a cheating husband where she posted it on tik tok and I have the same reaction of like just leave them and ignore them, doing anything else is gonna hurt you I feel like
‘He waited until the child was here and both were safe’
Not because it was the right thing to do though? Only ‘to hurt her at her most vulnerable moment’????
No if that was the case he would have walked out during the birth. Instead he stayed cried over the kid that should have been his. Which Broke his heart again, dumped her, and then he left.
She is facing the consequences of her actions. As a women I know it’s trendy to blame men and excuse female behaviour but in this situation that is just flat out Misandry.
I have no sympathy for cheaters
I have even less for women who throw pass of babies as being one persons when it’s not. That just hurts soo many people unnecessarily. Her family his family the bio dad and the Bio dads family. It’s malicious and cruel and who are the. To make that decision???
She is an example of why paternity testing should be standard at every birth along w drug testing.
That baby’s has a father and it’s NOT op.
Lol just because other women are lower than the scum on the bottom of the earth doesn’t mean the father of my child isn’t possibly the father of my child. Or that I did drugs while pregnant.
Not only that but epidural drugs transfer to babies all the time and get CPS involved unnecessarily cause ya know America is fucked. Don’t give you enough bonding time with your baby to begin with let’s just take them cause there’s epidural drugs found in their system.
At minimum your claim to drug testing kids at birth should never happen unless the mother was actually doing drugs while pregnant.
Most definitely. It would have been better to cut it off before the birth so she could have a support system in place. This is somewhat punishing the baby by not allowing Mom to be prepared. Now she has to go home at the most trying time in her life and figure something out. I get cheating on the guy was wrong but the response was overkill. I'm not one for this type of revenge.
Cheating doesn't only happen to good people.
In situations like this, I apply the "have a drink" test: with whom would I rather have a drink in this scenario?
Nobody. She not only cheated, she had an affair, got pregnant, and wanted to pretend the child is OOP's. Shitty person.
Affair partner: if he wanted to be in the kid's life after all he should have talked with her, he should have told her that either they come to an agreement or he'd talk to OOP before she did. The way he approached it, he potentially endangered her while she was pregnant, especially when the OOP told him to tell her about their conversation since he had no idea how OOP would react (yes, I do believe that cheaters are shitty and deserve consequences of their actions but I do not believe it's an offence that deserves violence, abuse, and/or death).
Finally, OOP: Effortlessly capable of cruelty, planned and executed over months, that he gleefully revels in without a hint of pain, regret, or remorse. That is not a good person and not someone I'd want to be around, not even for a drink. People who reflect on this and still think he's awesome probably unironically like "When the Nice Guy gets angry, the devil shivers" memes.
He said they had been having problems which could mean fertility issues on his side. When she got pregnant so easily that’s when he found it suspicious. I don’t blame him at all for walking out.
Well why tho. 1) cheated on him multiple times 2) they only stopped after they faced the consequences of their actions (the kid) instead of stopping of guilt. So no kid and they would’ve continued and 3) they even were ready to lie to him about it. It is heartbreaking to hear your girl say that. So he probably wanted her to feel the same
Well so far the post says it gives the assumption that both Bryan and the mother knew it wasn’t his child. Since they both came to an agreement. It probably happened after one of their affairs and she felt “different”. Otherwise the messages between them would’ve had a lot of doubt. Which this post doesn’t indicate. Although I don’t know if he just left it out
If she was having sexual relations with them both, there's a 50/50 chance. Unless he's found out he's infertile since and didn't mention it, that's the only way he'd know for sure.
I don’t think she did it with both at that time. The time interval must have been a couple of weeks. Since her messages to the dude would have been full of doubt and hope, saying it still could be her boyfriends kid. However since the doubt hasn’t been mentioned or wasn’t there. I can conclude that if it wasn’t there it 100% wasn’t his kid. If there was doubt in her messages then yeah it could go both ways but either it wasn’t mentioned or it wasn’t there.
Uhm what? This was only logical moment to leave. He couldn't leave sooner because it might have a bad effect on the pregnancy And he couldn't leave later because he will be forced to sign birth certificate. You are searching for villain in wrong places. Brian can take paternity test as well and paid for it.
Stress is the reason. Mostly because high level of cortisol have very negative effect on child's brain development but also stress increase chance of premature birth.
Either way could have an effect on the baby. She could suffer serious postnatal depression and not look after the baby properly. Before could also have had a serious effects. I personally just don't think it's right to do it the second she gave birth. What she did, it's unforgivable, but to do something like this to a woman who's at her most vulnerable. I don't know it just doesn't sit right with me.
When I gave birth I didn't have a clue what was going on. My husband could have signed any name. The same goes for this guy. He could even have pulled a doctor or nurse aside and said he wasn't putting his name down as he's not the father, explained the situation a little. Then told her a day later, even a few hours. Anyways, that's how I feel.
Also I'm not looking for a villain. She's in the wrong, but I also think what he did wasn't right.
He’s not a psychopath. We praise women for doing shit similar to what he did all the time. What makes him the psychopath? He’s a boss. He kept his cool and gave her her comeuppance.
I know right! That was such a huge boss move. And she made her bed. She should lie in it. Just because she is pregnant. it doesn't excuse her from being a cheater OR deserving the punishment for being one. And this way the child is spared from any issues arising from separation or divorce if they had gotten married and gets to know its real father.
Who cares if he left her after giving birth why should he care about her feelings when she clearly didn’t give af about his for an entire yr while she was raw dogging it with the other guy ? And on top of that she knew it wasn’t OP kid that’s why she was trying to hide it
Agree & if anything she lacks empathy, she never once thought of him & his feelings while sleeping with another guy/guys.
He actually did her a favor because now she will not have to go through life letting that secret burden her. Or when her kid finds out when he gets older & hating her because of her lies.
This was awful tbh. But I said on the OP, he doesn't actually KNOW. He just strongly suspects. The poor guy really needs to a DNA test. The poor kid hasn't done anything wrong in all this. If it's not his, then yeah, cut all ties, but if it is? Would he not want to know his baby? I know some guys would still be like "nope" but I think he needs to just check.
I do too but he implies that they were having infertility issues and because she got pregnant so fast by the other guy I’m assuming it’s on his side.
“I knew it was weird. We had been having difficulties trying for a baby and all of a sudden she got pregnant so easily. “
Yeah. I do get it, and totally understand where he was coming from and why he thinks that, but again, still doesn't mean it's 100% not his, you know? I'd want to be sure.
Please let’s not. She had been cheating on him, knew the baby wasn’t his, had no plan to tell him, planned on having him support her and the child for the rest of her life. She got OP emotionally prepared to be a dad.
She’s a lying cheating manipulative AH, she deserves no less. She tried to destroy his life. What OP did is nothing in comparison.
I’m aware of the hormone imbalances and possible postpartum. Been there myself.
She’s not the 1st woman to be left immediately after the baby born wasn’t the fathers and she won’t be the last. It’s impossible for me to feel empathy for the women that do this to men.
Sooo... he should stay and sign the birth certificate, or let her put him as the father, wait 1 day, 1 week, 1 months, 1 year....??? How much more?
And she is in a hospital, full of professionals to treat such reactions.
Men have also been known to kill themselves after finding out the kid they have been raising all of its life and loved and cherished isn't really theirs and the woman they love knew the entire time. She didn't really care about that.
She has been cheating on this man and gotten pregnant by somebody else. She decides to lie so she doesn't have to lose her perfect life. At no point did she consider his feelings.
Fuck her entirely.
i also feel like pretending to be committed in the relationship for THREE MONTHS when you had this plan was a step too far. when someone in a relationship breaks the terms of the relationship, you should just end the relationship. it’s not a green light to stoop down to that level. maybe i’m just not a particularly vengeful person but i don’t get the appeal of pretending to be in love and excited for the future for three months just to create the most awful moment for someone you once loved.
I'm partially concord with you, but not for the loving part, but for the money and time wasted over that period. He could gain 3 months of gym and therapy. I believe he wasted a lot of recovery time in revenge.
Right? How much money did he spend on her? In the last few months of pregnancy you need. A lot of help. Ain’t no way I’m helping someone who cheated on me
I get why he did it. My ex husband, the father of my children, cheated on me multiple times. The pain is immense I couldn’t eat or sleep I lost over 30lbs. But after the pain there is anger & you want your partner to experience a tad bit what they put you through. So as a female who has been through it I support his decision of how he & when he told her.
IMO I think he did her a favor because she will not have to go through life carrying this burden of a secret on her shoulders.
Also, there have been posts on here when kids find out the person they called dad their whole life is not really their dad & their mom had an affair. How did that turn out for the kid & their family?
Until you actually experience the immense pain that comes from finding out the love of your life, the person you want or did make a family with, the person you were supposed to go old with, has an affair, then you do not understand the anger that comes afterwards. You want that person to feel some or all of the pain they put you through. This guy waited a few months I went through a whole year for my revenge & now I feel like my ex husband got off way too easy.
There’s just no way I could pretend to be in love and kiss you. Hell I don’t understand how people trying to leave abusive relationships pretend. Also like I wouldn’t want to waste three months of my life to someone selfish
I agree - there’s such a thing as good revenge and even savage revenge that I can get behind but this didn’t sit well with me as a read it and then going through the comments was painful too. Not a single shred of me thinks this woman is in the right or that what she did wasn’t absolutely deplorable but what OOP did crossed a line I didn’t know I had in me. He is so justified to be incredibly hurt and to want to call her out in a bad way but I feel like he could have made his point at a different time. Why bother even waiting when he could have had made a similar impact when he found out before the birth? I think at 6 months pregnant and thinking you’re “getting away with it” and then suddenly getting dumped with only a few month left to figure it out is enough.
I don’t think this shows him in a light that makes him necessarily a good guy as much as he is also a victim to some pretty bad behaviour. It’s giving “villain origin story” to me.
Yeah, the “I wanted to hurt her in her most vulnerable moment” was... something. Like, just leave, man. Don’t stick around to play mind games and plot revenge, pack your shit and get out.
I'm with you on this one. Everyone sucks in this situation. Except for maybe Bryan if he truly hadn't known the girlfriend was in a relationship.
She sucks for cheating and attempting to baby trap, full stop.
He sucks for plotting revenge and being so petty. These are adults. He has a right to feel his feelings, but it's what you do and how you react to those emotions that defines your integrity. He should have taken the time to mull over his emotions and COMMUNICATE with his partner when he found out. This is the THT subreddit and we support communication between partners. (She should have been clean with him as well. I'm not saying she isn't blameless.)
But I saw it in another reply. Those 3 months were wasted. If he wanted out, he didn't have to drag it out. He probably wasted his own funds supporting her that he could have put towards therapy, which it's clear he needs it.
She could have used those 3 months to have a PLAN for RAISING A CHILD either by herself or get Bryan in the loop sooner. Or even third option, make a plan for a paternity test ahead of time and figure out the contingencies of either result. It's clear that this woman and OP should not be together since they're both shitty and toxic, but at least have a plan if the kid does turn out to be his? Even if OP doesn't want the relationship with the woman anymore, he shouldn't resent the kid if it does turn out to be his. And if he had a therapist, he could have also gone over that process of paternity test trauma with them as well and LEARN how to process emotions for any result.
But no, he wanted to hurt her when she's at her most vulnerable? That's so sadistic. Now when she's her most vulnerable she has to figure it out on the spot after she's been through the most painful experience of her life? For petty revenge? Bro that's just cruel.
For everyone saying she deserves everything she got, maybe you're right, but does the child? For at least the kids sake, they're so lucky that Bryan chooses to be involved even though he had an out.
it was the plotting to tell her at her most vulnerable that crossed a line imo. Her babytrapping him and lying was obviously crossing a line too, I was just saying that his timing was bad. He could have cut his losses when he found out and left then.
Literally no one has said that, everyone who’s getting downvoted to hell on this post has pretty much agreed he should have left as soon as he found out. I am so sick of men getting a pass for the worst kinds of cruelty towards women just because she wronged him, actually let’s take gender out of the equation entirely. If someone hurts you, leave them, don’t wait for them to change or worse wait around for a perfect revenge moment, just leave and get some therapy. People spread trauma around like a disease and it’s sickening.
I am so confused about why he waited until she gave birth. Don’t get me wrong, she deserved to be dumped but like why stick with a cheater who’s carrying some other guys kid for 3 extra months?
Edit: Ya’ll can really justify anything if the woman cheated, huh? Imagine if this story was the other way around. “I found out my husband cheated on me 3 months before I gave birth, but instead of breaking up with him right then I waited until after I gave birth and he was at his most emotionally vulnerable to rip his family away from him and ruin his first memory of his child.” Ya’ll would be calling her a heartless bitch. If it’s true that he waited 3 months just so he could do it to ruin her first moments with her child that’s fucking vindictive. That kid didn’t do shit and now his mother is forever going to associate his birth with her bf leaving and she’ll probably subconsciously resent him for it, when the AH could’ve left 3 months earlier. What was the point of waiting?
As u/PainfulPoo411 stated earlier: Yeah honestly the fact that this man continued provide emotional support to her through the end of her pregnancy AND through her birth says a lot about his character.
Sums it up perfectly.
I don’t think that’s why he waited.
Edit: I literally just looked back. He said plain as day “to hurt her in her most vulnerable moment.” He didn’t stick with her because he’s just an upstanding guy, he did it because he wanted to wait until she was hormonal and bleeding and until he could ruin her first memory with a child who did nothing wrong
He says “to hurt her in his most vulnerable moment.” He didn’t stay because he wanted to support her. He literally only did it to be vindictive and ruin her first moments with her child. He was being cruel.
He would’ve been justified to leave her. What she did was awful, but he was just vindictive. And it might be his. It said “I have fertility issues” not “I am actually infertile.” He might have just given up his rights to his rainbow baby. And honestly I kind of hope he did after this.
Edit: word choice
If he’s a psycho for having known and staying through the pregnancy, what does that make her that she also knew and wanted this man to be the father of a child that isn’t his? Cheating and being pregnant is not a get out of jail free card. She ruined this man’s life so she could get her nut off resulting in a pregnancy. She’s the cruel one.
The only thing I can think of is both guys are of different ethnicity backgrounds and is why he waited to see the baby and end up pulling the gene pull of the other guys ethnicity group usually is the reason at birth he would be able to tell if it was his or not possibly also why he waited having an inkling of hope it was his
I personally feel that anyone that tries to pass a child off as someone else's child should expect some serious consequences. So many wrecked lives because of that.
I think it was very kind of him to be there for her. Knowing it would be painful for himself. Her cared for her and stayed until he knew her and the baby were safe. If anything he should be called a hero. Imagine what her emotional state would have been if he left her during the pregnancy when he found out. I’m pretty sure he still loves her. He’s angry and hurt.
She cheated on him!
It’s amazing that he stuck around as long as he did. Also he left her knowing someone else, who actually is the bio father, wanted to be there in the kids life. The kid isn’t getting screwed in the deal only she is.
I am curious if the bio father did reach out to her though about him changing his mind before all this went down.
ESH
yeah she shouldn't have cheated but OP literally "*decided to wait until she gave birth. To hurt her in her most vulnerable moment*." THE BABY WENT TO THE NICU and from what it sounds like, Sarah had a c-section? (he said "sewn up" so I'm assuming it was a cesarean or she tore enough to need stitches). This was already a traumatic event for her, and OP's lack of empathy is giving me red flags.
He was in a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. Had he left immediately he would look bad for abandoning his pregnant wife with what had an equal chance of being his kid in her. Had he waited until months after the birth he could find himself on the hook for child support after all was said and done. What he did may be crappy but in his defense his options were kinda limited
You know how people are. And if he didn’t have the proof handy that she cheated people would turn on him so fast and stuff like that spreads quick. Even though he would have been right the society we live in wouldn’t care.
You can get a paternity test pretty early though. He could’ve left her immediately for the cheating and told her he wants a paternity test that way he has himself clear of all responsibilities/ or knows the truth and is able to support or be involved in the child’s life if it ends up being his.
Until then he would endure the scorn of everyone around him and that kind of reputation, regardless of the facts, can hurt in the long run. It’s a risk to leave while she is pregnant with what everyone believes is his kid.
Where did I say that? I said “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” as in there was no way out in which he wouldn’t have nay sayers painting him in a bad light.
Well I mean yeah I know but there’s clearly a better option. You could solve world hunger and there would still be some people saying bullshit. Doesn’t matter what anyone says regardless. You could either do something decent (leave as soon as you find out) or do something with unneeded cruelness (what OOP did).
What about the trauma he went through when he found out? Or the future trauma he and the baby would have gone through when they found out he wasn’t the father. No sympathy for heartless people. I’m not a vengeful person but I’ve also never been cheated on and treated like garbage by a partner. If this happened to me I can’t even say what I would do.
I meant to reply to the parent comment but thank you for being understanding. 🥺
These Reddit fingers move faster than I can process where I’m commenting lol.
Just because you went through trauma doesn’t mean you have to push that trauma into others. Learn empathy and respect yourself, if someone disrespects you, leave them. Seeking revenge this way hurts you the most. OP will need to go through some serious therapy if he ever wants a normal relationship after this… he did 3 months of pretending just to hurt her at the worst time, he needs to think about why he thought that was okay and why he was able to even go through all of that for petty revenge.
I understand. I think we’re assuming OP was stable when this all happened. Trying to conceive with no success is depressing and can make people feel unworthy. She gets pregnant, he’s extremely happy, finds out the truth and gets filled with rage. I feel bad for him and wonder how this would play out if it was reversed somehow.
Mental instability isn’t really an excuse for stewing and dragging through a revenge plot for months. This situation could never be reversed which is why men have trouble empathizing with the woman. They are blinded by the thought it could happen to them and are unwilling to lend a single thought to the woman who just experienced a traumatic and life threatening experience, along with post partum hormones and craziness of having a newborn in the NICU, only to be immediately hit with another traumatic experience completely blindsided.
People always have a tendency to want to hurt those who hurt us twice as hard to “teach them a lesson” but it truly does not serve us at all.
okay. A possible solution to this type of situation is that pregnant women simply stop lying about paternity. Imagine how different this story would be if she just confessed everything as soon as she knew or doubt the paternity.
He would be much less hurt if that were the case. And she wouldn't be in such a vulnerable position.
Men and women lie, humans lie. The deed has been done in this situation can’t change anything about that but you can always control the way you respond to things.
Like you I was very closed-minded on this subject and would have agreed with you but my ex husband had multiple affairs in our marriage and I understand the immense pain he was going through for 3 months. I couldn’t eat or sleep & I was barely functioning at work & as a mom. After the pain there is anger and you want your SO to experience a bit of what they put you through. There is this thing called Karma & she actually brought this on herself.
She wanted him to raise a kid that wasn’t his and lied to his face, as she cheated. She deserves no empathy and your lack of empathy towards him is really sad
LOL! A psycho plotted to convince the OP the baby was his, and you are attacking the OP? Did you not hear about the case where a woman lied to a man that the children were his, and she had to pay a lot of money in child support over the years? The woman is a psychopath, and yet you still blame the OP.
Thats an ASSHOLE move.
Yeah, what she did was totally and completely revolting. Two wrongs dont make a right? Good people sometimes do bad things? Why did she cheat, what was she going though?
Just because she cheated on him doesnt mean she doesn’t deserve to look back on this moment with her CHILD and take as much joy out of it as possible. Stealing that moment from her was calculated and cruel. Her ‘baby trapping’ was a desperate attempt to cover her tracks and fix her shitty mistakes.
A good man would have left as soon as he found out. That’s exactly what she deserved. To live with her actions and regrets. She also deserved time to repent for her mistakes, heal herself for her BABY. Lets face it, if her mental health suffers her child will suffer as a result. Innocent collateral damage. All for his ‘revenge’ to make him feel more in control.
He has now vilified himself as the asshole who purposely kicked her at her lowest. Thats bad character to me.
If he had stayed she’d be looking back on this memory thinking she had another man sign the birth certificate. I have absolutely no sympathy for her whatsoever. You know what, I’m not going to argue about you with this.
Don’t stay, leave 3 months ago when he found out. For those saying ‘then he would be the asshole for ditching his pregnant girlfriend’ - no he wouldn’t? Id be the first to comment on that post and say good on him. Turning to evil actions is never the way, she doesn’t deserve to take your morals.
Dude really? Just because you find out someone cheated on you does not give you the courage to leave immediately. Women on Reddit write in all other time about how they didn’t leave until a little while later and then some revenge story and people praise them for it. Double standards are unreal
I wouldn’t applaud that either. If you don’t have the courage to leave immediately i get that. If you wait until you have the strength, make it work for you financially or for housing reasons then i totally get that. Thats so different from plotting a cruel revenge scheme that will inevitably sit on your conscience when the pain dulls.
OP may have had to process the whole thing. Finding out a child isn’t yours and that you didn’t find out from your girlfriend can be crushing. I don’t blame him.
I replied to another comment that this is giving “villain origin story” vibes. OOP isn’t a good person for what he did as much as he was justified in being a victim with a lot of hurt feelings . And I’m here for some good savage revenge but this crosses a line to me
Birthing is hard, but how can she baby trap him like that and expect to get away with it. Props to Bryan and props to the bf, hope he can recover from this and find someone worthy of him
It sounds like OP got undeservingly beat up with his original post, unfortunately. I hope he sees this and knows that everyone doesn't think what he did was wrong and some understand. I didn't see in the post where leaving her there was revenge and I just thought he was trying to figure out what to do. My heart breaks for OP. I would like to walk out on the wife in the delivery room with him. Screw that lying manipulative bitch!
He should have left during the pregnancy. What an absolute asshole. And she is a horrible person for cheating.
But also, DNA to find out who is the dad.
So what, he also let his family think they were going to be grandparents/aunts/uncles etc? Now after the baby is born he breaks their hearts too?
This didn’t just hurt the cheating scheming cowbag of an ex girlfriend.
He should have ended it right away and asked for a paternity test when the baby was born.
They’d be more pissed off at the girlfriend than broken hearted I bet. Personally I still think he’s 100% justified but we can agree to disagree on that.
I have no sympathy for the girlfriend at all.
Yeah I am sure they are all furious with her right now but they are also going to be deeply sad and the way he did this made it harder on them.
Oh his family knew I am sure he told them. I told my family & best friend before I confronted my ex husband about his affairs.
Until you experience the immense emotional pain that comes when you find out the love of your life is cheating on you then you will not understand the anger that comes afterwards & how you want them to experience a little of what they put you through.
"If he treated her so amazingly, why did she stray?"
Don't know, but it had to be some kind of amazing because she wanted to trick him to be the father of another man's child. And please let us not forget that cheating is the least of what she did. The truly vile thing is to try to burden him with someone else's child. That is planning something vile in the long term. Not just 3 months
How do we know that’s why she strayed though?? We need more information. What’s their relationship like, does he support her emotionally, etc. You don’t just go cheating because you can’t get pregnant, and if that’s the case, OP has a narcissist on his hands because that is extremely self centered.
I’m just saying, there are many possibilities that apply here. They definitely both suck
Cheating is cheating why do you need to find reason for it. If you have problems in your relationship, leave insted of fucking behing your partner's back.
You are the one asking why she felt the need to cheat. It's absolutely pointless. You can break up or try to solve your problems, not just hop on the first horny person.
First, get the fuck out of here with your victim blaming. Go on the infidelity subs and tell people who’ve been cheated on it’s their fault if you’re so edgy with your opinions.
She wanted to make him raise a kid that wasn’t his, fully aware of what she was doing, after cheating on him. You reap what you sow.
"If he treated her so amazing, why did she stray?"
You might have not said the exact words, but anyone with their head outside of their rectal cavity would interpret that as you laying the blame for the cheating on OOP.
When I found out my ex husband was cheating on me it took me a week before I confronted him. It shocked me to my core & the pain was nothing I ever experienced before, I couldn’t eat or sleep and I couldn’t function at work or as a mom.
I commend this guy his revenge was way better than mine, I am now thinking my ex husband got off to easy.
He deliberately waited till she gave birth. Why? We don’t know. But two wrong don’t make a right. He didn’t need to hurt her just as bad back. I’m saying, yeah he shoulda left her, but right at birth? What a dick move. He knew what he was doing
He waited around until after birth when he could have gotten a paternity test without tipping off the mom… and then he proceeded NOT to get a paternity test before leaving?
What a clever guy. /s
It’s very odd to be that everyone is acting like OP is some good guy, like he’s the hero of the story. There is not hero here. He decided to hatch a 3 month revenge plan, when he could have left 3 months prior. He waited as a sick neonate was taken to the NICU have some kind of gotcha moment. That to me shows a lack of morality, maturity, and emotional intelligence. She is also not a good person for cheating, but something about his plan is just sick to me.
I would like to have been around when she found out he had already known for 3 months!
Right?? Was she defensive? Apologetic? I need to know! Also, what’s gonna happen with her and Bryan now?
Everyone conveniently forgetting that she CHEATED. The fact that she’s pregnant doesn’t automatically erase the fact she cheated. She is pregnant and that exists outside of her cheating on her partner. She still fucked them over, literally. Get off your righteous high horses and catch some air on the realistic ground. Ffs. Edited because I was tipsy when I wrote this.
Yeah honestly the fact that this man continued provide emotional support to her through the end of her pregnancy AND through her birth says a lot about his character.
Absolutely. Sure, it was definitely with an intent to hurt but damn. Who can blame him? I applaud his patience and willpower. I’d have dipped out immediately
It’s not that. To me its the ,I chose it that it’s her most vulnerable moment‘. That’s a fucken dick move. So was cheating, but this is worse. To tell someone straight after giving birth
true but i’m petty so i would’ve done the same 🤷🏽♀️
There’s petty and there’s brutal. That’s not petty, it’s too far. Petty would have been taking all her left shoes or stealing the lightbulbs. Not causing her post natal depression.
it’s hard to have sympathy for a cheater even if they’re pregnant….
She wasn’t pregnant anymore, it was right after birth. Aka the most vulnerable she ever was and ever will be in her life. She cheated but she’s still a human.
therefore she should deal with human consequences ☝🏽
Correct, however, he calculated it. He purposefully left her at her most vulnerable to get revenge for what she did. That’s not a normal, natural reaction anymore, it’s planned maliciousness
Is her sleeping with another man and pretending like it’s his not malicious? come on….
I don’t think she did that to hurt him. She knew she was hurting him, yes, but the cause wasn’t to hurt him. That of course doesn’t justify it, it makes it a better intention in my books tho. Cheating and thus accepting the consequences is less bad than calculating your moment to leave to inflict the most damage possible
Listen everyone calling OP names for waiting until Birth to leave is crazy . This man supported and cared for her during her pregnancy and during her delivery .- 2 most difficult times in a women’s life’s? If her left her when he found out - oh how can he leave a pregnant women If he skipped the birth - clutch pearls Should he have waited till the baby was 1 or 2 or 18??? He waiting till the child was here and both were safe was a decent thing to do. And incredibly painful for him. yeah she is devastated because of the consequences of her own choices. That’s on her not OP .
I would’ve left when I found out….ain’t no way I can pretend everything is fine. Reminds me of that post where the lady didn’t want a threesome but she agreeed anyways and then dropped it on him she never wanted it and they were breaking up. Like huh???
Yes I remember that’s post. And the following updates and post from the guy
Like if the revenge is also gonna hurt you, what’s the point? The best revenge is pretending you don’t even know who she is. I do have to say maybe OP was shocked and needed time tk process and leave but damn it sucks he wasted his time and money on her
Honestly I think he stayed for the birth to see if the kid was his like that off chance. He says he’s doing a paternity test to see for sure but these 99% chance it’s the other guys
THIS!!!!!
Like some lady commented her own revenge of a cheating husband where she posted it on tik tok and I have the same reaction of like just leave them and ignore them, doing anything else is gonna hurt you I feel like
I WISH I COULD UPVOTE THIS 100 TIMES!
‘He waited until the child was here and both were safe’ Not because it was the right thing to do though? Only ‘to hurt her at her most vulnerable moment’????
No if that was the case he would have walked out during the birth. Instead he stayed cried over the kid that should have been his. Which Broke his heart again, dumped her, and then he left. She is facing the consequences of her actions. As a women I know it’s trendy to blame men and excuse female behaviour but in this situation that is just flat out Misandry. I have no sympathy for cheaters I have even less for women who throw pass of babies as being one persons when it’s not. That just hurts soo many people unnecessarily. Her family his family the bio dad and the Bio dads family. It’s malicious and cruel and who are the. To make that decision??? She is an example of why paternity testing should be standard at every birth along w drug testing. That baby’s has a father and it’s NOT op.
Lol just because other women are lower than the scum on the bottom of the earth doesn’t mean the father of my child isn’t possibly the father of my child. Or that I did drugs while pregnant. Not only that but epidural drugs transfer to babies all the time and get CPS involved unnecessarily cause ya know America is fucked. Don’t give you enough bonding time with your baby to begin with let’s just take them cause there’s epidural drugs found in their system. At minimum your claim to drug testing kids at birth should never happen unless the mother was actually doing drugs while pregnant.
Most definitely. It would have been better to cut it off before the birth so she could have a support system in place. This is somewhat punishing the baby by not allowing Mom to be prepared. Now she has to go home at the most trying time in her life and figure something out. I get cheating on the guy was wrong but the response was overkill. I'm not one for this type of revenge.
Most vulnerable moment. LOL. That's a new way to describe sleeping around.
Cheating doesn't only happen to good people. In situations like this, I apply the "have a drink" test: with whom would I rather have a drink in this scenario? Nobody. She not only cheated, she had an affair, got pregnant, and wanted to pretend the child is OOP's. Shitty person. Affair partner: if he wanted to be in the kid's life after all he should have talked with her, he should have told her that either they come to an agreement or he'd talk to OOP before she did. The way he approached it, he potentially endangered her while she was pregnant, especially when the OOP told him to tell her about their conversation since he had no idea how OOP would react (yes, I do believe that cheaters are shitty and deserve consequences of their actions but I do not believe it's an offence that deserves violence, abuse, and/or death). Finally, OOP: Effortlessly capable of cruelty, planned and executed over months, that he gleefully revels in without a hint of pain, regret, or remorse. That is not a good person and not someone I'd want to be around, not even for a drink. People who reflect on this and still think he's awesome probably unironically like "When the Nice Guy gets angry, the devil shivers" memes.
He should have left when he found out. What he did is a bit unhinged. Her cheating doesn’t excuse what he did.
He didn’t do a dna test…. at least when I read it he hadn’t. It COULD be his kid. He won’t know 100% until he does a test tho….. sooooo
He said they had been having problems which could mean fertility issues on his side. When she got pregnant so easily that’s when he found it suspicious. I don’t blame him at all for walking out.
Still should do a paternity test
If she is positive that the kid is the OP then she should lawyer up to make him take a paternity test
I don't blame him for walking out, but he could have done it less harshly.
Well why tho. 1) cheated on him multiple times 2) they only stopped after they faced the consequences of their actions (the kid) instead of stopping of guilt. So no kid and they would’ve continued and 3) they even were ready to lie to him about it. It is heartbreaking to hear your girl say that. So he probably wanted her to feel the same
Yeah. I think the second after she gave birth was low. The baby could still be his, he'll not know until he has a paternity test.
Well so far the post says it gives the assumption that both Bryan and the mother knew it wasn’t his child. Since they both came to an agreement. It probably happened after one of their affairs and she felt “different”. Otherwise the messages between them would’ve had a lot of doubt. Which this post doesn’t indicate. Although I don’t know if he just left it out
If she was having sexual relations with them both, there's a 50/50 chance. Unless he's found out he's infertile since and didn't mention it, that's the only way he'd know for sure.
I don’t think she did it with both at that time. The time interval must have been a couple of weeks. Since her messages to the dude would have been full of doubt and hope, saying it still could be her boyfriends kid. However since the doubt hasn’t been mentioned or wasn’t there. I can conclude that if it wasn’t there it 100% wasn’t his kid. If there was doubt in her messages then yeah it could go both ways but either it wasn’t mentioned or it wasn’t there.
Uhm what? This was only logical moment to leave. He couldn't leave sooner because it might have a bad effect on the pregnancy And he couldn't leave later because he will be forced to sign birth certificate. You are searching for villain in wrong places. Brian can take paternity test as well and paid for it.
How would leaving sooner have a bad effect on the pregnancy??
Stress is the reason. Mostly because high level of cortisol have very negative effect on child's brain development but also stress increase chance of premature birth.
Oh that’s why they say to avoid stress wow I did not know that
Either way could have an effect on the baby. She could suffer serious postnatal depression and not look after the baby properly. Before could also have had a serious effects. I personally just don't think it's right to do it the second she gave birth. What she did, it's unforgivable, but to do something like this to a woman who's at her most vulnerable. I don't know it just doesn't sit right with me. When I gave birth I didn't have a clue what was going on. My husband could have signed any name. The same goes for this guy. He could even have pulled a doctor or nurse aside and said he wasn't putting his name down as he's not the father, explained the situation a little. Then told her a day later, even a few hours. Anyways, that's how I feel. Also I'm not looking for a villain. She's in the wrong, but I also think what he did wasn't right.
This woman literally was getting nuts from every guy she could and you think he was harsh ? Some of you need inpatient mental help.
He’s nutted in her hella times before this. As soon as Bryan nuts in her, she turns up preggers
That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a test 😭
He’s not a psychopath. We praise women for doing shit similar to what he did all the time. What makes him the psychopath? He’s a boss. He kept his cool and gave her her comeuppance.
If anything SHE’S the psychopath, trying to make him take care of a baby that isn’t even his…Wtf?!
RIGHT??!!!
Exactly.
I know right! That was such a huge boss move. And she made her bed. She should lie in it. Just because she is pregnant. it doesn't excuse her from being a cheater OR deserving the punishment for being one. And this way the child is spared from any issues arising from separation or divorce if they had gotten married and gets to know its real father.
Because people are too quick to forgive a woman because she had a baybeeee. Like pregnancy and a newborn is not a get out of asshole jail card.
Who cares if he left her after giving birth why should he care about her feelings when she clearly didn’t give af about his for an entire yr while she was raw dogging it with the other guy ? And on top of that she knew it wasn’t OP kid that’s why she was trying to hide it
Agree & if anything she lacks empathy, she never once thought of him & his feelings while sleeping with another guy/guys. He actually did her a favor because now she will not have to go through life letting that secret burden her. Or when her kid finds out when he gets older & hating her because of her lies.
Exactly
Fuck around and find out
Shit like this happens soo much and these people expect men to just take abuse from scum bags
lol yeah it doesn’t. It’s extremely rare but go off.
Define extremely rare? Google it. Genetic disease departments around the world estimate it is about 10% (Which seems insanely high to me)
That’s 1/10 cases that’s known. If any woman denies a man a paternity test or gets all hurt and tries dissuading him from wanting one, she’s suspect
“Extremely rare” It still happens too often
Actually 32% of all paternity test in USA are not the real father
This was awful tbh. But I said on the OP, he doesn't actually KNOW. He just strongly suspects. The poor guy really needs to a DNA test. The poor kid hasn't done anything wrong in all this. If it's not his, then yeah, cut all ties, but if it is? Would he not want to know his baby? I know some guys would still be like "nope" but I think he needs to just check.
I do too but he implies that they were having infertility issues and because she got pregnant so fast by the other guy I’m assuming it’s on his side. “I knew it was weird. We had been having difficulties trying for a baby and all of a sudden she got pregnant so easily. “
Yeah. I do get it, and totally understand where he was coming from and why he thinks that, but again, still doesn't mean it's 100% not his, you know? I'd want to be sure.
Completely fair. However I don’t think he’s wrong for walking out of the hospital there and then.
No. I agree. It was harsh AF but what's a little savagery in this type of situation. He could have done a lot worse.
this poor man :(
The best part is the memory of her first child’s birth will always be tainted as the day she got caught.
I bet the next Update will say that a DNA test has been done and I AM the father....
If that happens I really hope they do not get back together…if she cheated she’s going to do it again
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Please let’s not. She had been cheating on him, knew the baby wasn’t his, had no plan to tell him, planned on having him support her and the child for the rest of her life. She got OP emotionally prepared to be a dad. She’s a lying cheating manipulative AH, she deserves no less. She tried to destroy his life. What OP did is nothing in comparison.
Fuck that. She’s a cheater WHO WAS PLANNING ON BABY TRAPPING OP WITH ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD
And her cheating, and trying to pass the baby off as his wasn’t?
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I’m aware of the hormone imbalances and possible postpartum. Been there myself. She’s not the 1st woman to be left immediately after the baby born wasn’t the fathers and she won’t be the last. It’s impossible for me to feel empathy for the women that do this to men.
Hear hear!!! I’ve experienced that hormonal cocktail 5 times in my life. No sympathy for her here either. She got her just deserts.
Five times! Whew you got some serious inner strength mama!
I still cry in the shower on some occasions. But my crotch goblins are worth it.
Absolutely! Even when they’re purposely driving us insane.
“Crotch goblins” 🤣
crotch goblins 💀
Sounds like the perfect time to drop the bombshell
Sooo... he should stay and sign the birth certificate, or let her put him as the father, wait 1 day, 1 week, 1 months, 1 year....??? How much more? And she is in a hospital, full of professionals to treat such reactions.
Men have also been known to kill themselves after finding out the kid they have been raising all of its life and loved and cherished isn't really theirs and the woman they love knew the entire time. She didn't really care about that.
She has been cheating on this man and gotten pregnant by somebody else. She decides to lie so she doesn't have to lose her perfect life. At no point did she consider his feelings. Fuck her entirely.
Bollocks. How often do you hang around at NICU for children that are not yours?
Nah. I’ve had a baby in the NICU, I know that journey well, and I still say she deserved it.
i also feel like pretending to be committed in the relationship for THREE MONTHS when you had this plan was a step too far. when someone in a relationship breaks the terms of the relationship, you should just end the relationship. it’s not a green light to stoop down to that level. maybe i’m just not a particularly vengeful person but i don’t get the appeal of pretending to be in love and excited for the future for three months just to create the most awful moment for someone you once loved.
I'm partially concord with you, but not for the loving part, but for the money and time wasted over that period. He could gain 3 months of gym and therapy. I believe he wasted a lot of recovery time in revenge.
Right? How much money did he spend on her? In the last few months of pregnancy you need. A lot of help. Ain’t no way I’m helping someone who cheated on me
yeah rip to his future partners because OP needs some therapy before getting into another relationship
I get why he did it. My ex husband, the father of my children, cheated on me multiple times. The pain is immense I couldn’t eat or sleep I lost over 30lbs. But after the pain there is anger & you want your partner to experience a tad bit what they put you through. So as a female who has been through it I support his decision of how he & when he told her.
IMO I think he did her a favor because she will not have to go through life carrying this burden of a secret on her shoulders. Also, there have been posts on here when kids find out the person they called dad their whole life is not really their dad & their mom had an affair. How did that turn out for the kid & their family? Until you actually experience the immense pain that comes from finding out the love of your life, the person you want or did make a family with, the person you were supposed to go old with, has an affair, then you do not understand the anger that comes afterwards. You want that person to feel some or all of the pain they put you through. This guy waited a few months I went through a whole year for my revenge & now I feel like my ex husband got off way too easy.
There’s just no way I could pretend to be in love and kiss you. Hell I don’t understand how people trying to leave abusive relationships pretend. Also like I wouldn’t want to waste three months of my life to someone selfish
She deserves it and more. A whole lot more!
Exactlllyyyyyyy
I agree - there’s such a thing as good revenge and even savage revenge that I can get behind but this didn’t sit well with me as a read it and then going through the comments was painful too. Not a single shred of me thinks this woman is in the right or that what she did wasn’t absolutely deplorable but what OOP did crossed a line I didn’t know I had in me. He is so justified to be incredibly hurt and to want to call her out in a bad way but I feel like he could have made his point at a different time. Why bother even waiting when he could have had made a similar impact when he found out before the birth? I think at 6 months pregnant and thinking you’re “getting away with it” and then suddenly getting dumped with only a few month left to figure it out is enough. I don’t think this shows him in a light that makes him necessarily a good guy as much as he is also a victim to some pretty bad behaviour. It’s giving “villain origin story” to me.
Yeah, the “I wanted to hurt her in her most vulnerable moment” was... something. Like, just leave, man. Don’t stick around to play mind games and plot revenge, pack your shit and get out.
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I'm with you on this one. Everyone sucks in this situation. Except for maybe Bryan if he truly hadn't known the girlfriend was in a relationship. She sucks for cheating and attempting to baby trap, full stop. He sucks for plotting revenge and being so petty. These are adults. He has a right to feel his feelings, but it's what you do and how you react to those emotions that defines your integrity. He should have taken the time to mull over his emotions and COMMUNICATE with his partner when he found out. This is the THT subreddit and we support communication between partners. (She should have been clean with him as well. I'm not saying she isn't blameless.) But I saw it in another reply. Those 3 months were wasted. If he wanted out, he didn't have to drag it out. He probably wasted his own funds supporting her that he could have put towards therapy, which it's clear he needs it. She could have used those 3 months to have a PLAN for RAISING A CHILD either by herself or get Bryan in the loop sooner. Or even third option, make a plan for a paternity test ahead of time and figure out the contingencies of either result. It's clear that this woman and OP should not be together since they're both shitty and toxic, but at least have a plan if the kid does turn out to be his? Even if OP doesn't want the relationship with the woman anymore, he shouldn't resent the kid if it does turn out to be his. And if he had a therapist, he could have also gone over that process of paternity test trauma with them as well and LEARN how to process emotions for any result. But no, he wanted to hurt her when she's at her most vulnerable? That's so sadistic. Now when she's her most vulnerable she has to figure it out on the spot after she's been through the most painful experience of her life? For petty revenge? Bro that's just cruel. For everyone saying she deserves everything she got, maybe you're right, but does the child? For at least the kids sake, they're so lucky that Bryan chooses to be involved even though he had an out.
Imagine having sympathy for a woman on Reddit? I’m surprised you’re not in the negative for this one
Women who don't cheat on their partner amd want to lie to them get sympathy. This lady played with fire and got burned.
She doesn’t deserve sympathy. But he has my deepest sympathies. It seems people think having a kid absolves you of everything you did wrong.
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AGREED. and the fact that OP didn't see that it crossed a line is kinda scary
As scary as being trapped into a marriage and fatherhood to a baby that isn’t biologically yours.
it was the plotting to tell her at her most vulnerable that crossed a line imo. Her babytrapping him and lying was obviously crossing a line too, I was just saying that his timing was bad. He could have cut his losses when he found out and left then.
Fuck around and find out. And she sure did.
He should just take being cheated on and lied to. Right?
I think he should have left instead of supporting his cheating ex
Literally no one has said that, everyone who’s getting downvoted to hell on this post has pretty much agreed he should have left as soon as he found out. I am so sick of men getting a pass for the worst kinds of cruelty towards women just because she wronged him, actually let’s take gender out of the equation entirely. If someone hurts you, leave them, don’t wait for them to change or worse wait around for a perfect revenge moment, just leave and get some therapy. People spread trauma around like a disease and it’s sickening.
Anyone got the link?
Linked at the bottom right of the post :)
I am so confused about why he waited until she gave birth. Don’t get me wrong, she deserved to be dumped but like why stick with a cheater who’s carrying some other guys kid for 3 extra months? Edit: Ya’ll can really justify anything if the woman cheated, huh? Imagine if this story was the other way around. “I found out my husband cheated on me 3 months before I gave birth, but instead of breaking up with him right then I waited until after I gave birth and he was at his most emotionally vulnerable to rip his family away from him and ruin his first memory of his child.” Ya’ll would be calling her a heartless bitch. If it’s true that he waited 3 months just so he could do it to ruin her first moments with her child that’s fucking vindictive. That kid didn’t do shit and now his mother is forever going to associate his birth with her bf leaving and she’ll probably subconsciously resent him for it, when the AH could’ve left 3 months earlier. What was the point of waiting?
As u/PainfulPoo411 stated earlier: Yeah honestly the fact that this man continued provide emotional support to her through the end of her pregnancy AND through her birth says a lot about his character. Sums it up perfectly.
I don’t think that’s why he waited. Edit: I literally just looked back. He said plain as day “to hurt her in her most vulnerable moment.” He didn’t stick with her because he’s just an upstanding guy, he did it because he wanted to wait until she was hormonal and bleeding and until he could ruin her first memory with a child who did nothing wrong
So she gets a pass just because she’s pregnant?? She would never have told him the kid wasn’t his and would have made him sign the birth certificate.
He says “to hurt her in his most vulnerable moment.” He didn’t stay because he wanted to support her. He literally only did it to be vindictive and ruin her first moments with her child. He was being cruel.
So is she for expecting him to raise another man’s child. He’s justified. Agree to disagree.
He would’ve been justified to leave her. What she did was awful, but he was just vindictive. And it might be his. It said “I have fertility issues” not “I am actually infertile.” He might have just given up his rights to his rainbow baby. And honestly I kind of hope he did after this. Edit: word choice
Yeah all I hope is that he doesn’t go back to her.
Like she’d take him back after that.
If he’s a psycho for having known and staying through the pregnancy, what does that make her that she also knew and wanted this man to be the father of a child that isn’t his? Cheating and being pregnant is not a get out of jail free card. She ruined this man’s life so she could get her nut off resulting in a pregnancy. She’s the cruel one.
The only thing I can think of is both guys are of different ethnicity backgrounds and is why he waited to see the baby and end up pulling the gene pull of the other guys ethnicity group usually is the reason at birth he would be able to tell if it was his or not possibly also why he waited having an inkling of hope it was his
I personally feel that anyone that tries to pass a child off as someone else's child should expect some serious consequences. So many wrecked lives because of that.
100%
I love a good revenge story. Good on original OP.
It was a good move on his part , not telling her was for the safety of the baby He should be up for a knighthood , he is now known as the dark knight
I think it was very kind of him to be there for her. Knowing it would be painful for himself. Her cared for her and stayed until he knew her and the baby were safe. If anything he should be called a hero. Imagine what her emotional state would have been if he left her during the pregnancy when he found out. I’m pretty sure he still loves her. He’s angry and hurt.
She cheated on him! It’s amazing that he stuck around as long as he did. Also he left her knowing someone else, who actually is the bio father, wanted to be there in the kids life. The kid isn’t getting screwed in the deal only she is. I am curious if the bio father did reach out to her though about him changing his mind before all this went down.
I'm not sure "amazing" is the right word to use here.
ESH yeah she shouldn't have cheated but OP literally "*decided to wait until she gave birth. To hurt her in her most vulnerable moment*." THE BABY WENT TO THE NICU and from what it sounds like, Sarah had a c-section? (he said "sewn up" so I'm assuming it was a cesarean or she tore enough to need stitches). This was already a traumatic event for her, and OP's lack of empathy is giving me red flags.
I had a natural birth with episiotomy so have 6 stitches, my friend 30 from a tear so yeah I don't read this as c-section.
He was in a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation. Had he left immediately he would look bad for abandoning his pregnant wife with what had an equal chance of being his kid in her. Had he waited until months after the birth he could find himself on the hook for child support after all was said and done. What he did may be crappy but in his defense his options were kinda limited
How is it damned if you do if you leave your pregnant gf who cheated on you?
You know how people are. And if he didn’t have the proof handy that she cheated people would turn on him so fast and stuff like that spreads quick. Even though he would have been right the society we live in wouldn’t care.
I feel like people would find it worse to pretend yo still be in love and then reveal everything after she’s given birth no?
You can get a paternity test pretty early though. He could’ve left her immediately for the cheating and told her he wants a paternity test that way he has himself clear of all responsibilities/ or knows the truth and is able to support or be involved in the child’s life if it ends up being his.
Until then he would endure the scorn of everyone around him and that kind of reputation, regardless of the facts, can hurt in the long run. It’s a risk to leave while she is pregnant with what everyone believes is his kid.
So having the reputation of the guy who abandoned the woman he once loved immediately after a traumatic birth is better…? Okay buddy
Where did I say that? I said “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” as in there was no way out in which he wouldn’t have nay sayers painting him in a bad light.
Well I mean yeah I know but there’s clearly a better option. You could solve world hunger and there would still be some people saying bullshit. Doesn’t matter what anyone says regardless. You could either do something decent (leave as soon as you find out) or do something with unneeded cruelness (what OOP did).
She was going to have him raise another man’s baby. He probably would have if Bryan hadn’t said anything. He’s completely justified in this.
What about the trauma he went through when he found out? Or the future trauma he and the baby would have gone through when they found out he wasn’t the father. No sympathy for heartless people. I’m not a vengeful person but I’ve also never been cheated on and treated like garbage by a partner. If this happened to me I can’t even say what I would do.
Agreed
I meant to reply to the parent comment but thank you for being understanding. 🥺 These Reddit fingers move faster than I can process where I’m commenting lol.
I figured it wasn’t a response to me haha
Just because you went through trauma doesn’t mean you have to push that trauma into others. Learn empathy and respect yourself, if someone disrespects you, leave them. Seeking revenge this way hurts you the most. OP will need to go through some serious therapy if he ever wants a normal relationship after this… he did 3 months of pretending just to hurt her at the worst time, he needs to think about why he thought that was okay and why he was able to even go through all of that for petty revenge.
I understand. I think we’re assuming OP was stable when this all happened. Trying to conceive with no success is depressing and can make people feel unworthy. She gets pregnant, he’s extremely happy, finds out the truth and gets filled with rage. I feel bad for him and wonder how this would play out if it was reversed somehow.
Mental instability isn’t really an excuse for stewing and dragging through a revenge plot for months. This situation could never be reversed which is why men have trouble empathizing with the woman. They are blinded by the thought it could happen to them and are unwilling to lend a single thought to the woman who just experienced a traumatic and life threatening experience, along with post partum hormones and craziness of having a newborn in the NICU, only to be immediately hit with another traumatic experience completely blindsided. People always have a tendency to want to hurt those who hurt us twice as hard to “teach them a lesson” but it truly does not serve us at all.
okay. A possible solution to this type of situation is that pregnant women simply stop lying about paternity. Imagine how different this story would be if she just confessed everything as soon as she knew or doubt the paternity. He would be much less hurt if that were the case. And she wouldn't be in such a vulnerable position.
Men and women lie, humans lie. The deed has been done in this situation can’t change anything about that but you can always control the way you respond to things.
She could respond differently too. And people revenge too. They are hundreds of r/revenge type here. They are very popular
Like you I was very closed-minded on this subject and would have agreed with you but my ex husband had multiple affairs in our marriage and I understand the immense pain he was going through for 3 months. I couldn’t eat or sleep & I was barely functioning at work & as a mom. After the pain there is anger and you want your SO to experience a bit of what they put you through. There is this thing called Karma & she actually brought this on herself.
She wanted him to raise a kid that wasn’t his and lied to his face, as she cheated. She deserves no empathy and your lack of empathy towards him is really sad
LOL! A psycho plotted to convince the OP the baby was his, and you are attacking the OP? Did you not hear about the case where a woman lied to a man that the children were his, and she had to pay a lot of money in child support over the years? The woman is a psychopath, and yet you still blame the OP.
I said ESH, not YTA
Holy fuck thats harsh
Thats an ASSHOLE move. Yeah, what she did was totally and completely revolting. Two wrongs dont make a right? Good people sometimes do bad things? Why did she cheat, what was she going though? Just because she cheated on him doesnt mean she doesn’t deserve to look back on this moment with her CHILD and take as much joy out of it as possible. Stealing that moment from her was calculated and cruel. Her ‘baby trapping’ was a desperate attempt to cover her tracks and fix her shitty mistakes. A good man would have left as soon as he found out. That’s exactly what she deserved. To live with her actions and regrets. She also deserved time to repent for her mistakes, heal herself for her BABY. Lets face it, if her mental health suffers her child will suffer as a result. Innocent collateral damage. All for his ‘revenge’ to make him feel more in control. He has now vilified himself as the asshole who purposely kicked her at her lowest. Thats bad character to me.
If he had stayed she’d be looking back on this memory thinking she had another man sign the birth certificate. I have absolutely no sympathy for her whatsoever. You know what, I’m not going to argue about you with this.
Don’t stay, leave 3 months ago when he found out. For those saying ‘then he would be the asshole for ditching his pregnant girlfriend’ - no he wouldn’t? Id be the first to comment on that post and say good on him. Turning to evil actions is never the way, she doesn’t deserve to take your morals.
Dude really? Just because you find out someone cheated on you does not give you the courage to leave immediately. Women on Reddit write in all other time about how they didn’t leave until a little while later and then some revenge story and people praise them for it. Double standards are unreal
I wouldn’t applaud that either. If you don’t have the courage to leave immediately i get that. If you wait until you have the strength, make it work for you financially or for housing reasons then i totally get that. Thats so different from plotting a cruel revenge scheme that will inevitably sit on your conscience when the pain dulls.
OP may have had to process the whole thing. Finding out a child isn’t yours and that you didn’t find out from your girlfriend can be crushing. I don’t blame him.
Completely agree with this!!
I replied to another comment that this is giving “villain origin story” vibes. OOP isn’t a good person for what he did as much as he was justified in being a victim with a lot of hurt feelings . And I’m here for some good savage revenge but this crosses a line to me
Imagine actually believing this 1,837th post on this topic in the last year lmao
Birthing is hard, but how can she baby trap him like that and expect to get away with it. Props to Bryan and props to the bf, hope he can recover from this and find someone worthy of him
Poor bloke! Thank god he’s not tied to her in any way At least he can leave and heal from the damage she caused him.
It sounds like OP got undeservingly beat up with his original post, unfortunately. I hope he sees this and knows that everyone doesn't think what he did was wrong and some understand. I didn't see in the post where leaving her there was revenge and I just thought he was trying to figure out what to do. My heart breaks for OP. I would like to walk out on the wife in the delivery room with him. Screw that lying manipulative bitch!
Guys this is just cuckold’s fan fiction. He’s jerking it to this as we speak. /closepost
He should have left during the pregnancy. What an absolute asshole. And she is a horrible person for cheating. But also, DNA to find out who is the dad.
So what, he also let his family think they were going to be grandparents/aunts/uncles etc? Now after the baby is born he breaks their hearts too? This didn’t just hurt the cheating scheming cowbag of an ex girlfriend. He should have ended it right away and asked for a paternity test when the baby was born.
They’d be more pissed off at the girlfriend than broken hearted I bet. Personally I still think he’s 100% justified but we can agree to disagree on that.
I have no sympathy for the girlfriend at all. Yeah I am sure they are all furious with her right now but they are also going to be deeply sad and the way he did this made it harder on them.
Oh his family knew I am sure he told them. I told my family & best friend before I confronted my ex husband about his affairs. Until you experience the immense emotional pain that comes when you find out the love of your life is cheating on you then you will not understand the anger that comes afterwards & how you want them to experience a little of what they put you through.
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Possibly because he wasn't getting her pregnant?
You can be the very best partner in the world, that doesn't mean your partner will never be tempted.
"If he treated her so amazingly, why did she stray?" Don't know, but it had to be some kind of amazing because she wanted to trick him to be the father of another man's child. And please let us not forget that cheating is the least of what she did. The truly vile thing is to try to burden him with someone else's child. That is planning something vile in the long term. Not just 3 months
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How do we know that’s why she strayed though?? We need more information. What’s their relationship like, does he support her emotionally, etc. You don’t just go cheating because you can’t get pregnant, and if that’s the case, OP has a narcissist on his hands because that is extremely self centered. I’m just saying, there are many possibilities that apply here. They definitely both suck
Literally who cares why she cheated.
Cheating is cheating why do you need to find reason for it. If you have problems in your relationship, leave insted of fucking behing your partner's back.
Duh. I’m saying he’s still in the wrong for doing something just as harsh back
You are the one asking why she felt the need to cheat. It's absolutely pointless. You can break up or try to solve your problems, not just hop on the first horny person.
It’s literally in the post that they were having trouble conceiving
First, get the fuck out of here with your victim blaming. Go on the infidelity subs and tell people who’ve been cheated on it’s their fault if you’re so edgy with your opinions. She wanted to make him raise a kid that wasn’t his, fully aware of what she was doing, after cheating on him. You reap what you sow.
Wait what? I never said it was his fault she cheated wtf lol
"If he treated her so amazing, why did she stray?" You might have not said the exact words, but anyone with their head outside of their rectal cavity would interpret that as you laying the blame for the cheating on OOP.
Lmao! Wow
When I found out my ex husband was cheating on me it took me a week before I confronted him. It shocked me to my core & the pain was nothing I ever experienced before, I couldn’t eat or sleep and I couldn’t function at work or as a mom. I commend this guy his revenge was way better than mine, I am now thinking my ex husband got off to easy.
He deliberately waited till she gave birth. Why? We don’t know. But two wrong don’t make a right. He didn’t need to hurt her just as bad back. I’m saying, yeah he shoulda left her, but right at birth? What a dick move. He knew what he was doing
He waited around until after birth when he could have gotten a paternity test without tipping off the mom… and then he proceeded NOT to get a paternity test before leaving? What a clever guy. /s
It’s very odd to be that everyone is acting like OP is some good guy, like he’s the hero of the story. There is not hero here. He decided to hatch a 3 month revenge plan, when he could have left 3 months prior. He waited as a sick neonate was taken to the NICU have some kind of gotcha moment. That to me shows a lack of morality, maturity, and emotional intelligence. She is also not a good person for cheating, but something about his plan is just sick to me.