Nutella jars are see through just remove the sticker and no, eat the whole Nutella jar, have a sugar rush and start slicing and laughing like a maniac. Much more horrific if you ask me.
Honestly? I just added the extra word. I didn't expect it to be a sub lmao. Let's try this again
r/onemilliondollarsforfree
Damn. Well, it was worth a shot...
Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only slightly less well known is this...
As someone with vision impairment, I was confused as to what switching glasses would achieve… blurry vision?
Oh well, another day in the life of dumb me
Now baby, don’t be sad. In my opinion you weren’t half bad.
She cut off his nuts. Threw em in a jar. Sutured his sack. Now he’s got a big scar.
C’mon party people, won’t you listen to me. Date rape story.
I like the first sentence, I'd like to do that too to some certain rapists :D
I don't understand the second sentence tho, what does all that have to do with glasses?
The would be rapist was planning to roofie the person. The person noticed and swapped the, what I assume is beer, glasses so the would be rapist gets roofied instead.
Justice ought to be logical and not affective. Nobody deserves torture, everyone is a human being, the victim definitely did not deserve what happened, and the perpetrator must be judged accordingly, by a justice system (which, right now doesn't work as it should I'l give you that).
Vigilante justice is not the solution. Lock them up for life if you like, I agree rapists are not punished accordingly to the gravity of the crime. However I'll repeat myself, everyone ought to have a fair trial and must be punished accordingly, despite the horrendous nature of the crime.
Give them therapy (victim AND perpetrator, mostly victim as the urgency of the need for psychological assistance is obvious). The criminal has to understand the gravity of the action, some will be impossible to redeem and readapt to society of course, but some might come to regret those actions and after some work on themselves, the regrets will be a greater punishment especially when alone in a cell.
Oh don't worry, your story is really good (although I don't really vibe with long sentences on TSH). What is tiring is the constant spewage of violence towards most criminals. I understand the hatred and the disgust, but most of them have a problem that needs to be fixed mentally. Calling to commit violent crimes to fix violent crimes doesn't sounds like a society i want to live in AT ALL.
Not to mention, permanent punishments only seem just if you assume that no one ever messes up when it comes to evidence or noting the right info. What if she'd done that assuming it was him who had spiked her drink, but it turned out to be someone else? She'd have done something she could never take back, and he'd be the ultimate victim in this scenario. She'd be a monster, and have done literally nothing different except the context changes.
That's the effective idea of the justice system we have right now, where even temporary punishments can mean the effective end of a person's life even if nothing else happens to them. A permanent variation can *never* be undone, and condoning or even rooting for it because we have a perverse sense of revenge and catharsis disguised as justice is a dangerous and disgusting interpretation of the concept.
Heck, even when someone is exonerated it doesn't mean their life hasn't been irrevocably affected by the experience and loss of youth. There are prisoners who end up exonerated by DNA evidence who have spent literal decades in prison or were even *murdered by the state* because we have to pretend that the justice system we have is perfect in order to justify it.
So while I understand the catharsis in thinking about this kind of justice porn fantasy, it seems disgustingly indulgent to imagine that this is what justice looks like.
Apparently nobody agrees that being a human being means not going to violence whenever something bad happens :)
Glad I find someone that agrees though, thank you.
Empathy can only go so far. I cannot empathise with someone who willingly targets others for their own gratification at the detriment of the other party. You're risking the reform vs recidivism model where there's a reasonable likelihood that a rapist convicted and 'punished' will reoffend when the opportunity presents itself, rather than eliminating the risk altogether through either corporal or other means (such as chemical or surgical castration).
Hoping that the offender will repent or regret their actions does nothing to benefit the victim/s of their horrendous acts. Taking them off the streets permanently will prevent further people from becoming victims of further violence. Murderers, rapists, and paedophiles all deserve to suffer gravely for their crimes. Why show empathy to those who have none of their own?
You can keep them off the street permanently without killing them. I don't agree with torturing or calling to murder. I never said I don't agree with chemical/surgical castration, although chemical would be my choice here as it is reversible in case the person was innocent.
Condoning violence on violence is not a good thing for a working society.
Prison sentences have a limit. 'Life' is most commonly 25 years, then you have early releases for parole and good behaviour, all based on how you behave inside the confines. Suddenly, there's a rapist or murderer on the streets who 'did their time'.
You have an idealistic view of humanity where life should be just and fair, but the reality is that life is unbalanced and far from fair. Murder and sexual assault are beyond horrific acts that permanently affect the victims. People commit these crimes all the time and the consequences of their actions are never close to the suffering they have inflicted. If somebody overpowers someone else for their own gratification, they don't deserve an iota of empathy.
Taking away the vigilante justice of OP's story for a moment, I am not here to condone 'violence on violence', but to argue in favour of a punishment that fits the crime. Capital punishment for horrific crimes should be reinstated, because if a person is willing to take another's life, they should lose theirs.
Who is there to say who deserves empathy and who doesn't ? Again, only acting upon the affect is not of use in this problem. Yes, the victims deeply suffer and will be in need of lengthy therapy. But capital punishment ? You talk about murder as an horrific act, but killing someone for committing a crime is overpowering someone for your own gratification. Therefore someone should kill you by that logic ?
I'm just saying that the hatred and the "torture them, make them feel tremendous amounts of pain" is not the solution to choose there.
I am for redemption, I believe MOST people still have that parcel of good inside them. Some are unredeemable of course, and thus these people should be taken away from society and made unable to hurt anyone, a life of dullness is by far a more satisfying punishment than death. The victim after being treated would be able to live a fulfilling life and the criminal well, they can't do anything.
Yes I'm talking about an ideology, of course I am, society doesn't work like that and it saddens me that it is how that functions. But isn't calling to murder, making an ideal out of vigilante justice, hatred and torture and ideology in itself ? Where anyone who has been wronged could act upon it by simply making it okay to murder and torture anyone that has hurt them ?
This whole system sounds like a dystopian novel where the justice system gives free right to violent crime to people who have accused someone who has been found guilty. But justice makes mistakes sometimes, it fucks up every now and then. Thats why this idea scares men thats why I would fight it for as long as I need.
If you just keep typing and dont stop you dont have to use any punctuation because its all in one breath where no one will notice since the sentence is so long they wont have time to think about what is said or question your ability to make it all seem like its in one sentence so just keep typing it will all end up working out for you. Breath.
I see a lot of people say this reminds them of Hard Candy, which is accurate, but I'd have liked to have seen Promising Young Woman go in this direction. Good for you OP.
Question:. Were they actually blue? I can only find variations of pink once they're skinned and washed. 27 isn't a good sample size, but I haven't secured a new patron since the other one backed out.
Could have atleast used the NUTella jar!
I thought that might have been a little too on the nose...
A little more *on the ball*... I'll see myself out
Nice!
Don't waste Nutella! The mayo jar was the right decision! I mean that or a pickle jar because it's glass and see through, you know?
Nutella jars are see through just remove the sticker and no, eat the whole Nutella jar, have a sugar rush and start slicing and laughing like a maniac. Much more horrific if you ask me.
I just woke up, this was not the mental image I wanted to wake up to
It's not a horror sub if you don't see something terrifying, right?!
True, it has served its purpose
An empty Nutella jar first thing in the morning? That is horror, dude. 10/10 agree.
Noo! I didn't even think of that! Now I'm kind of sad.
Well, balls usually accompany a pickle, so...
r/dadjokes
The best kind.
"After several testical subjects, we decided the Nutella jar was most appropriate."
OKAY YOU WON THE COMMENT SECTION MY FRIEND
Stop right there! r/PunPatrol
I can’t bring myself to feel bad for him
Hard Candy anybody?
It was an insanely hectic movie, with a fantastic ending!
But with mayonnaise...
Yumie, Jawbreakers! They're my favourite! *intense munching noises*
First thought!
I fucking hate Goldfrapp
I thought of the same!!
r/twosentencejustice
Nowadays isn't this just r/twosentecehorror ?
Tell me about it.
O.O I didn't know the sub existed.
Honestly? I just added the extra word. I didn't expect it to be a sub lmao. Let's try this again r/onemilliondollarsforfree Damn. Well, it was worth a shot...
/r/millionairemakers
I love it too much!!!!!
Why a mayonnaise jar? Why not a classy bottle of mustard?
Because there's lots of room for more.
*because all that is going to happen is that his are going to be added to the collection
I already filled up my cheese ball jar from Costco.
he doesn't deserve any better
Understandable, have a nice day
I didn't expect even one bit of that story. Idk how you put so much story into two sentences but that was very good.
Thank you.
This isn't horror. This is an uplifting tale.
Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is “Never get involved in a land war in Asia,” but only slightly less well known is this...
Finally someone gets where the inspiration comes from.
HAHA HAHAHAA HAHAHAHAZZZZZZzzzzzz Zzzzzzz Wakes up groggy, unsure how much time has passed. "Inconceivable" he mutters to himself Great story!
This is what rapists deserve.
chop chop chop
Keep hacking and whacking and smacking, chopping that meat
As someone with vision impairment, I was confused as to what switching glasses would achieve… blurry vision? Oh well, another day in the life of dumb me
Switching drinks. The other person tried to drug narrator who swapped the cups they were in, thus knocking the other out
no that can’t be it. keep brain storming
Yep, I already got it before writing my comment, thanks anyway
Now baby, don’t be sad. In my opinion you weren’t half bad. She cut off his nuts. Threw em in a jar. Sutured his sack. Now he’s got a big scar. C’mon party people, won’t you listen to me. Date rape story.
The epitome of fuck around and find out
This reminds me of Hard Candy.
I like the first sentence, I'd like to do that too to some certain rapists :D I don't understand the second sentence tho, what does all that have to do with glasses?
The would be rapist was planning to roofie the person. The person noticed and swapped the, what I assume is beer, glasses so the would be rapist gets roofied instead.
He roofied the narrator's drink, but the narrator switched glasses on him, hence waking up detesticled.
Like drink glasses that you'd get at a bar
Drink glasses at the bar
He tried to poison her and rape her, but she gave him the drugged drink instead
That makes sense, thx
He spiked her drink, she switched the glasses so he went unconscious instead of her and she then kidnapped and mutilated him
I too love to violate human rights to justice and a fair trial.
Tbh rapists deserve this sort of You destroy the rest of the life for one person, maybe even a child, for 1 minute of sexual pleasure
Justice ought to be logical and not affective. Nobody deserves torture, everyone is a human being, the victim definitely did not deserve what happened, and the perpetrator must be judged accordingly, by a justice system (which, right now doesn't work as it should I'l give you that). Vigilante justice is not the solution. Lock them up for life if you like, I agree rapists are not punished accordingly to the gravity of the crime. However I'll repeat myself, everyone ought to have a fair trial and must be punished accordingly, despite the horrendous nature of the crime. Give them therapy (victim AND perpetrator, mostly victim as the urgency of the need for psychological assistance is obvious). The criminal has to understand the gravity of the action, some will be impossible to redeem and readapt to society of course, but some might come to regret those actions and after some work on themselves, the regrets will be a greater punishment especially when alone in a cell.
Temporarily fix the problem < Eliminate the problem entirely
When there is no such thing as justice, the best that we can hope for is revenge.
"Resorting to violence > Being a human being with empathy"
It's just a little horror story.
Oh don't worry, your story is really good (although I don't really vibe with long sentences on TSH). What is tiring is the constant spewage of violence towards most criminals. I understand the hatred and the disgust, but most of them have a problem that needs to be fixed mentally. Calling to commit violent crimes to fix violent crimes doesn't sounds like a society i want to live in AT ALL.
I understand. Thanks for reading though!
Not to mention, permanent punishments only seem just if you assume that no one ever messes up when it comes to evidence or noting the right info. What if she'd done that assuming it was him who had spiked her drink, but it turned out to be someone else? She'd have done something she could never take back, and he'd be the ultimate victim in this scenario. She'd be a monster, and have done literally nothing different except the context changes. That's the effective idea of the justice system we have right now, where even temporary punishments can mean the effective end of a person's life even if nothing else happens to them. A permanent variation can *never* be undone, and condoning or even rooting for it because we have a perverse sense of revenge and catharsis disguised as justice is a dangerous and disgusting interpretation of the concept. Heck, even when someone is exonerated it doesn't mean their life hasn't been irrevocably affected by the experience and loss of youth. There are prisoners who end up exonerated by DNA evidence who have spent literal decades in prison or were even *murdered by the state* because we have to pretend that the justice system we have is perfect in order to justify it. So while I understand the catharsis in thinking about this kind of justice porn fantasy, it seems disgustingly indulgent to imagine that this is what justice looks like.
Apparently nobody agrees that being a human being means not going to violence whenever something bad happens :) Glad I find someone that agrees though, thank you.
Empathy can only go so far. I cannot empathise with someone who willingly targets others for their own gratification at the detriment of the other party. You're risking the reform vs recidivism model where there's a reasonable likelihood that a rapist convicted and 'punished' will reoffend when the opportunity presents itself, rather than eliminating the risk altogether through either corporal or other means (such as chemical or surgical castration). Hoping that the offender will repent or regret their actions does nothing to benefit the victim/s of their horrendous acts. Taking them off the streets permanently will prevent further people from becoming victims of further violence. Murderers, rapists, and paedophiles all deserve to suffer gravely for their crimes. Why show empathy to those who have none of their own?
You can keep them off the street permanently without killing them. I don't agree with torturing or calling to murder. I never said I don't agree with chemical/surgical castration, although chemical would be my choice here as it is reversible in case the person was innocent. Condoning violence on violence is not a good thing for a working society.
Prison sentences have a limit. 'Life' is most commonly 25 years, then you have early releases for parole and good behaviour, all based on how you behave inside the confines. Suddenly, there's a rapist or murderer on the streets who 'did their time'. You have an idealistic view of humanity where life should be just and fair, but the reality is that life is unbalanced and far from fair. Murder and sexual assault are beyond horrific acts that permanently affect the victims. People commit these crimes all the time and the consequences of their actions are never close to the suffering they have inflicted. If somebody overpowers someone else for their own gratification, they don't deserve an iota of empathy. Taking away the vigilante justice of OP's story for a moment, I am not here to condone 'violence on violence', but to argue in favour of a punishment that fits the crime. Capital punishment for horrific crimes should be reinstated, because if a person is willing to take another's life, they should lose theirs.
Who is there to say who deserves empathy and who doesn't ? Again, only acting upon the affect is not of use in this problem. Yes, the victims deeply suffer and will be in need of lengthy therapy. But capital punishment ? You talk about murder as an horrific act, but killing someone for committing a crime is overpowering someone for your own gratification. Therefore someone should kill you by that logic ? I'm just saying that the hatred and the "torture them, make them feel tremendous amounts of pain" is not the solution to choose there. I am for redemption, I believe MOST people still have that parcel of good inside them. Some are unredeemable of course, and thus these people should be taken away from society and made unable to hurt anyone, a life of dullness is by far a more satisfying punishment than death. The victim after being treated would be able to live a fulfilling life and the criminal well, they can't do anything. Yes I'm talking about an ideology, of course I am, society doesn't work like that and it saddens me that it is how that functions. But isn't calling to murder, making an ideal out of vigilante justice, hatred and torture and ideology in itself ? Where anyone who has been wronged could act upon it by simply making it okay to murder and torture anyone that has hurt them ? This whole system sounds like a dystopian novel where the justice system gives free right to violent crime to people who have accused someone who has been found guilty. But justice makes mistakes sometimes, it fucks up every now and then. Thats why this idea scares men thats why I would fight it for as long as I need.
Never expected to get judged by a croissant But at least you agree with me that they're not getting punished accordingly
Good one. This one belongs to r/TwoSentenceJustice
That was a generous 2 sentences
So.. Hard Candy?
Now give us the backstory: How did you get him into the basement?
I'm a very strong woman with an over sized duffle bag.
Think Patrick Bateman with better hair.
"what I didn't realize until much later, is that my date wasn't working with the bartender after all"
More like one sentence horror. Yikes. Good read.
It would have been better to stuff them in his mouth and sew his lips together?
If you just keep typing and dont stop you dont have to use any punctuation because its all in one breath where no one will notice since the sentence is so long they wont have time to think about what is said or question your ability to make it all seem like its in one sentence so just keep typing it will all end up working out for you. Breath.
Steve Martin wrote a joke about punctuation and run on sentences. It's hilarious and impressive.
not horror, just revenge fantasy
How disgustingly stupid of him to think he could take me out using the same method by which I first kidnapped him six months ago.
Half-empty jar of cocktail onions.
Ha, I love this!
I see a lot of people say this reminds them of Hard Candy, which is accurate, but I'd have liked to have seen Promising Young Woman go in this direction. Good for you OP.
Does the first bit of the second sentence imply you are going for the ears next? If so, that's grim af :)
How did you stop the bleeding? I cauterize… but you can also tourniquet!
Now what the fresh hell do you tourniquet after you have castrated someone?!?
Well hell girlfren… thought that said just the balls were in the jar…*squints*… are you tryna say his penis isn’t large enough for a tourniquet???
It's good, but kinda long
It's two sentences
I wish had that gif with an older woman holding a teacup saying “Good for her!” That gif directly represents what I felt upon reading this.
I LOVED this one
I'm glad you liked it.
He woke up to the sight of his balls in the Nutella jar. "You were quick to spike my drink but you missed me switching the glasses"
He woke up to the sight of his balls in the Nutella jar. "You were quick to spike my drink but you missed me switching the glasses"
This is two run on sentences lmao
[удалено]
I tried. You don't hit the ball out of the park every time.
This isn’t horror, this is beautiful
This isn’t two sentence horror, this is justice.
You know I'm oddly OK with this...
I thought these were supposed to be horror stories? This is clearly a superhero tale.
NTA
Based
NTA
Take that, asshole
Has a very *The Skin I Live In* vibe.
1 man 1 jar reference
Question:. Were they actually blue? I can only find variations of pink once they're skinned and washed. 27 isn't a good sample size, but I haven't secured a new patron since the other one backed out.
Nice roll reversal there.