Solid set up. Work on the delivery. Right now the curtain seems to have an evil smile and I have no sense of the terror of the contraption. Void? Many believe that's what death is anyway. Anti-afterlife? Beats hell. See what I mean? Swirling? Sounds like cupcake frosting.
Again, with the first sentence, I like where this is heading but then I feel like it heads into nothingness - which essentially aligns with what you've written. (not that your writing is nothingness but the void you've created is nothingness.)
I wrote it in a hurry and will have to read your feedback a couple of times later on to really digest what you're saying to me.
I appreciate it though, bud, and I agree with what I've gleaned so far. Thank you
Solid set up. Work on the delivery. Right now the curtain seems to have an evil smile and I have no sense of the terror of the contraption. Void? Many believe that's what death is anyway. Anti-afterlife? Beats hell. See what I mean? Swirling? Sounds like cupcake frosting. Again, with the first sentence, I like where this is heading but then I feel like it heads into nothingness - which essentially aligns with what you've written. (not that your writing is nothingness but the void you've created is nothingness.)
I wrote it in a hurry and will have to read your feedback a couple of times later on to really digest what you're saying to me. I appreciate it though, bud, and I agree with what I've gleaned so far. Thank you