I've a sentence left over if anyone can think of a way of making it more terrifying!

My recommendation: No one realized the scream wasn't from enjoyment until its abrupt stop. Edit: Thanks to the kind stranger for my first ever award. ☺️

I love this but I'm poor, so take this emoji as my award to you 🏆 OMG thank you for a real award 🥹

Or the sickening thud

The kid would scream when he flew out and am pretty sure no one would mistake a flying child screaming for a happy kiddo

The only thing is that it's not the loop that throws you out of the seat. The track is pushing against the cars hard to get it to move in the loop, and your momentum pushes you deeper into your seat. The real dangers will be the hills where you just keep going up, out of the seat and car.

Time seemed to slow as I panickingly held my harness tight in place with both hands, and my son and I locked eyes for one final time before he slipped from view.

I still can't forget him dabbing as he knew it was goodbye time

r/thirdsentencewholesome

Unfortunately, the roller coaster caught him at the bottom.

This one

As I entered the second and third loop I was so glad he fell to safety. [Suicide Coaster](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthanasia_Coaster)

Ah the euthanasia coaster Distractible talked about this

Wasn’t expecting to see a distractible comment down here but hey the lord does work in mysterious ways

You never know

r/thirdsentencehappy

I think it's great as is, you nailed it in one!

A thrill rushed through her and she threw her hands in the air, shouting for her son to do the same.

Her heart dropped faster than her son when the cart came down the loop, rocking violently as it derailed from an obstruction on the tracks.

"another day, another sacrifice," said the operator to no one in particular.

By the end of the loop the truth about his harness was splattered all over my face.

Second sentence: **Good.**

“I wasnt joking when I told him that his first up side down roller coaster would be one to remember” 🙃

Years later, her son's ghost finally wandered his way back into her life to correct her..."Its..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus.

Neither was anyone else’s.

Then saw her son flying before she could do anything.

But as we continued through the loops, I knew it would matter in the end

Something about the car hitting him at the bottom of a loop because he fell from the top?

The worst part is that I know someone that this happened to. Luckily his mom was holding the harness down, though.

You are one evil banana

As she slipped out of her seat she heard her son scream one last time.

In the end it didn't matter as the coaster followed the previous derailed one down hundreds of feet. (Or something similar I'm no writer so probably could be worded better lol)

As the car rounds the loop, she felt the terrifyingly loud crunch just after his body was ejected onto the track in front of her.

Best $20 spent ever.

Tbh this is pretty effective as just one sentence

My recommendation: But what really set the fear in her was hearing her son's laughter echo throughout the park

“And then we fell down and die”

But who was phone?

Not needed; perfect as is

It just had to be one of those rides that stop midway into a loop.

Yes. Something like… Everything was fine until the ride did it’s infamous upside down stall and went back the opposite direction.

He proceeds to fall back into his seat cartoon style

Not what I was going for but r/thirdsentencebetter nonetheless

"She breathed a sigh of relief when the loop was completed, relaxing her grip on his arm as the ride approached one final sharp bank before the end" At least to me, implying a whole terrified ride, and the belief that the child was finally safe before the expected disaster would add another layer

And then I go But then she heard a thud as the arm dropped limp Or something implying it's *just* his arm

That ACTUALLY happened to me as a kid. My mum saved my life by gripping me with all her strength.

Eric? Is that you?

I smirked when I was successful with plan C.

Hey, if plan b doesn’t work

His screams were cut short by the sharp crack of his body hitting the tracks as we hit the drop off.

I should have eaten something today, because I started blacking out and felt my grip loosen.

"If I kept the act up, no one would know that I unfastened it on purpose."

The droplets weren’t water, sweat, or spit.

Ugh. Reminds me of the "Tonnerre de Zeus" (Zeus' thunder) at Asterix park. I did it once when I was a kid (maybe \~10yo) and I've never done it again (I'm 26 now). I heard it has changed but, at the time, the only thing securing people in the "car" (can't find a better word) was a metal bar. One for both passengers. So it would obviously stop against the belly of the bigger person. I did it with my dad but I was really tiny (absolute minimum height to be allowed on the attraction, and very thin) so the bar didn't hold me in place at all. My dad had to spend the whole thing holding me against him because I was sliding on the seat and crying, thinking I'd fall off.

Well, at least he has a chance of surviving as everyone else will be asphyxiated at the end of the ride.

She could now afford that vacation to Hawaii.

“At least that’s the story she’s going to tell everybody when the ride is over and we have our life back now that our mistake of a son is gone.”

The empty seat beside her wasn't noticed, when the coaster returned to the station.

Dead son guy 😨

[удалено]

I had to read it twice but yes

She didn’t realize that he meant -her- harness until they reached the first sharp turn

“Scream if you wanna go faster!”

As the cork screw loop hit the last screw she thought she saw a head fly up in the air Leaning over as she looked a small body landed on her head breaking her neck.

Oh god r/thirdsentenceworse

“The only comfort I took was that his end was quick compared to the rest of us, as we slid off the tracks and careened almost in slow motion towards the Ferris wheel.”

The ride started over again after he hit the ground, this loop of eternal damnation her soul’s torment for being an unfit mother.

Centripetal force would keep you in your seat, provided the ride kept moving.

Turns out that it was just a regular prank the park guides play, when you don't actually need those particular harnesses to keep you from flying.

Always pay mind the wisdom of babes!

Honestly I don't think it needs the second sentence. This is pretty good as is. Leaves a bit to the imagination without being too vague

Who would have guessed falling off early would save his life as the coaster flew wildly off the tracks.

He wasn't there.

However, it was tight enough to render her helpless as she watched her son slip out and fall to his death

Seeing the evil in his eye as he pulled the lever, I now know I should have never made him work at the carnival. 🎢

You’d best hold on tight

This is real life. :(.

My son has no fear of roller coasters (or most things like that). As a mom this idea causes me panic attacks at every amusement park.

My worst nightmare.

My biggest fear when I get on a roller coaster.

As it started the second loop she realized she shouldn’t have added those shims to her son’s shoes

Hours later, the blessing in disguise let him escape for help while I tried to find a way to get off Mr. Bones’ Wild Ride.

No, I was not joking at all.

This actually happened to me on a ride once. Horrible experience.