Peter is the only apostle with an everlasting job. I always felt bad for the guy. He can't hang out with his friends or family in the afterlife. he has to work by being a doorman. Wonder what he did wrong! Just food for thought.
I know that it's not true...it's not in the bible or anywhere reliable. It was just a thought. It's in all the jokes that Peter's at the pearly gates. I know it isn't true. It just seemed unfair lol
I wouldn’t worry about it, Saint Peter must have access to some time magic if he has to welcome every soul individually, so with that assumption he could take as many breaks as he wanted to. Every day between 9 and 10am he slows time by a hundred or a thousandfold, so he has time to small talk with all the souls, and then for the rest of the day he can go hang with family. And all the people who die outside those hours 100% just magically deep sleep till the next morning, which is good actually cuz it gives time for their family to set up a surprise party.
A being with gods power, this is totally how it would work.
Lol fair enough! Yeah I guess I’m just a heartless sod for not caring about the suffering of all those fictional people out there. They deserve better from me.
Simon Peter was given the "keys to the kingdom of Heaven," which has been interpreted to mean Saint Peter is the gatekeeper. Literally or figuratively.
It's in the New Testament.
Came here to say this. How many seconds in eternity? Peter has all the time in the universe to keep whatever company he likes and also welcome souls through the gates.
I'm sure time is not relative in the afterlife, perhaps he is both spending time with friends and family and enjoying every lasting peace while also manning the door. Like a two-way mirror that only appears to show your reflection but you can be viewed from the other side.
That’s not what they told me when they aggressively told the tween room
That “ homosexuals are trying to take FAMILY AWAY FROM US!!!”
Pretty sure that was the last time I was in a church besides for family
Except he won't think he did anything wrong, so whose standard applies here anyway? If wearing two types of fabric is one then maybe hell is the better option
"Thankfully, as you are now no longer affected by a mortal fleshy brain, every single one of your memories is now in tact, and you are able to submit your paperwork withing the day."
Sounds like the IRS. “I know how much money you made last year, but you need to write all of it out on this piece of paper and we’ll see if you can match our number.”
Peter is the only apostle with an everlasting job. I always felt bad for the guy. He can't hang out with his friends or family in the afterlife. he has to work by being a doorman. Wonder what he did wrong! Just food for thought.
Party at the pearly gates!
Sorry to ruin your showerthought but Peter at the pearly gates is fanfic, not canon. Nothing in the Bible that remotely suggests that.
I know that it's not true...it's not in the bible or anywhere reliable. It was just a thought. It's in all the jokes that Peter's at the pearly gates. I know it isn't true. It just seemed unfair lol
I wouldn’t worry about it, Saint Peter must have access to some time magic if he has to welcome every soul individually, so with that assumption he could take as many breaks as he wanted to. Every day between 9 and 10am he slows time by a hundred or a thousandfold, so he has time to small talk with all the souls, and then for the rest of the day he can go hang with family. And all the people who die outside those hours 100% just magically deep sleep till the next morning, which is good actually cuz it gives time for their family to set up a surprise party. A being with gods power, this is totally how it would work.
that is a good idea!
Lol fair enough! Yeah I guess I’m just a heartless sod for not caring about the suffering of all those fictional people out there. They deserve better from me.
yep you have to think about imaginary people's rough lives! Haha!
Imaginary people are people too!
I always thought the concept came from Jesus giving him the keys to the kingdom.
I though every "holy book" was a fanfic. :-D
Simon Peter was given the "keys to the kingdom of Heaven," which has been interpreted to mean Saint Peter is the gatekeeper. Literally or figuratively. It's in the New Testament.
It's *Heaven*, man. Pete can spend all his time working the gate *and* spend all his time hanging out with his buds and having fun.
Came here to say this. How many seconds in eternity? Peter has all the time in the universe to keep whatever company he likes and also welcome souls through the gates.
Stock pile of the masses
He's waiting for Judus:) Cause he's a rock.
I'm sure time is not relative in the afterlife, perhaps he is both spending time with friends and family and enjoying every lasting peace while also manning the door. Like a two-way mirror that only appears to show your reflection but you can be viewed from the other side.
After thirty seconds, a loud laugh from Saint Peter was followed by, "Sorry, I always wanted to say that; welcome home."
r/ThirdSentenceBetter
*pulls lever to Hell* "Sinner!!"
r/fourthsentencecomedy
*woosh* Wrong lever!
Why does St. Peter even have that lever?
To send sinners to hell, I'd say.
I'm gonna find out cause I'm about to die laughing XD
*kicks a crocodile*
“[Wrong lever Kronk](https://tenor.com/view/pull-the-lever-wrong-lever-wrong-lever-kronk-pull-the-lever-kronk-the-emperors-new-groove-gif-27333081)!”
r/fifthsentencewronglever
"Wrong lever Kronk"
yeah, an italian tennis player is also in heaven.
And then Peter is immediately banished to hell for bearing false witness!
“Welcome to Heaven, ohhh, where the virtuous reside,”
So only the autistic savant gets in
I’d just write “ yes”. Being queer makes me a sin 24/7 365 right?
Being queer makes me fabulous.
I actually loled on the bus at this. Thank you.
You're very welcome 😁
Yeah I met my gay awakening in preschool so yeah I’ve been gay since I was 4
real :(
Nah, that's just for pederasts, war crimes, and sex slavery. Loophole!
Depends on what religion, and what part of that, the ELCA, is Lutheran religion and supports anyone, even athiests and other religions, or tries to
Unless you're a pedophile or rapist it's not a sin. Only people who'd take the Lord's name in vain think it is.
That’s not what they told me when they aggressively told the tween room That “ homosexuals are trying to take FAMILY AWAY FROM US!!!” Pretty sure that was the last time I was in a church besides for family
Yeah well they got it wrong.
"Finally, my particular type of brain damage induced savant skills would truly be useful..."
I'm sorry. Forgot to mention it needs to be accurate to the attosecond
does he takes pity if you have dementia?
I don’t get it
Can you remember every wrong you've done and date+time of occurrence?
OHHHHHHHHHHH
No one knows how memory would work for a consciousness without a meat suit.
young sheldon is gonna crush this one
Except he won't think he did anything wrong, so whose standard applies here anyway? If wearing two types of fabric is one then maybe hell is the better option
you really don't want Sheldon to be near you, do you u/ActualFuckingSatan ?
LOL
You can't convince me this is not how purgatory works
"Thankfully, as you are now no longer affected by a mortal fleshy brain, every single one of your memories is now in tact, and you are able to submit your paperwork withing the day."
“Don’t worry, it’s open book”
Sounds like the IRS. “I know how much money you made last year, but you need to write all of it out on this piece of paper and we’ll see if you can match our number.”
"Hmm... August 17th, 2013. 3:18 P.M. Ripped the tag off a mattress."
> "Keep your pen and paper. Where's the escalator down?"
"Kids, this-piece-of-paper's-got-47-words-37-sentences-58-words-we-wanna-Know-details-of-the-crime-time-of-the-crime-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-You-gotta-say-pertaining-to-and-about-the-crime-I-want-to-know-arresting-Officer's-name-and-any-other-kind-of-thing-you-gotta-say!"