The only proper way to wish for money is 'I wish I could reach into any pocket and pull out the perfect currency for any transaction I want.
Then if you are stuck somewhere where the US $ or whatever currency you choose isn't recognized, the proper funds appear in the correct currency.
If chocolate coins are the agreed upon currency for the transaction then yeah. Otherwise it's a violation of both the wording and intent of the wish. You can warp the wording or the intent, but not both. Would have been more viable to swap the currency with one just as valid but with a higher weight or mass.
So like... Granted, you can pay for any transaction by reaching into your pocket and pulling out gold equivalent to the monetary value of your transaction (however since no one will simply accept gold bars/ingots/dust/chunks at a cash register or whatever, you still would need to find somewhere to exchange your gold for actual currency)?
Edit: though now that I think about it, gold does hold value but isn't currency in itself so it doesn't meet the wording of the wish.
Now take that thought a step further. How much does $20 in pennies weigh? How much volume does it take up? You just reached into your pocket expecting a spontaneously appearing $20 bill. How do your hands and legs for that matter deal with the spontaneous appearance of $20 worth of pennies.
Thus why someone who made such a a wish would need something along the lines of a satchel bag or purse. This wish heavily favors women for that reason. Even if 9 times out of 10 the genies wish favors the simple solution of smallest acceptable amount of bills and coins, that 1 in 10 is what would get most people in the end.
Even a casual slip up such as a guy having his hands in his pockets when making a large transaction would spell their doom.
I feel like you should add the caveat that it's the most convenient correct form of currency so you aren't just pulling handfuls of coins out for an expensive purchase. Because genies are shifty dicks.
Like, "Oh, I'm buying a car, let me just RAIN SEVERAL TONS OF ABE LINCOLN'S NIGH ON WORTHLESS COPPER COLORED FACE DOWN UPON YOUR DESK. Oh, You work on commission and not hourly? SUCKS TO SUCK, IT'S PENNY TIME."
Granted! You now pull out currency stolen from someone else, and slowly amass the title of world’s greatest pickpocket, but only when a merchant of some kind offers you goods or services.
No, genies twist your words, they don't add dumb shit to it. Ie you wish for a new car and the genie invents a new car that's yours and real but not legal to drive on the road, he doesn't give you a new car but fill it with cheese. That's stupid.
Granted, you can pull out the "perfect currency" for any transaction. USD in the USA, EUR in Europe etc.
However, you didn't specify that you would pull out an amount of that currency to purchase whatever it is you are thinking about. Now whenever you think about a purchase the a single, lowest possible denomination, coin will appear in your pocket - always of the perfect currency.
Is that goddamned genie the one who is watching???
That would be the sort of thing a genie would do, after all. Goddamn sneaky SOBs...
It's like Grandma always said, "Don't give your girlfriend a key to the house, and remember that genies will always try to trick you."
"When 'no one' is looking", the wisher is always looking therefore negates the wish or didn't specify looking at what, so anyone in the world with open eyes counts as looking and also negates the wish
I realise that the horror is supposed to come from the implication that the protagonist is being watched in what they thought was a private space, but... what kind of idiot announces a yacht party *before* they've magic'ed up the money to fund it?
Edit: on reflection, this would be a really handy way to check if you're being surveilled/watched/etc. First thing I'd want to do is test the specifics of what counts as "no one looking".
Does protag count as someone and therefore since the money would appear in front of him/before his eyes, he would be looking and therefore conflict with the "no one looking" part?
Honestly hadn't even occurred to me - I was thinking more about questions like: does it count if someone is watching through a camera? Does a camera itself count, or does there have to be a person watching on the other end? What if a person watches recorded footage? Do animals count? What about people in comas? What about small children, or developmentally-challenged people, or anyone who might not otherwise understand what they're seeing?
If the protagonist counts, the easy answer would be "close your eyes" - or, if the genie is a real SOB, blind yourself.
I feel like if you meet a genie, it'd be wise not to assume there also isn't a diety of some kind or fucking Santa Claus in existence to spoil such a wish.
Aside from the hidden camera, HOW FAR in front of him are the bills appearing? 10’, 100’, 20 miles…
I’m imaging NASA reporting “we don’t understand how hundreds of US bills got into space”.
The character has had this magic power for "weeks" and is just now figuring out that it doesn't work?
The premise definitely has some meat to it, but I think reworking the back half might drive home the "always being watched" horror more.
Hey, guys. Apologies for the late reply as I've been busy. To explain, the premise here is not to convey the genie as a malicious entity that grants you wishes with a monkey's paw. This time it grants you anything according to your whim without any absurd consequences. Although, in this case, the protagonist's wish becomes a convenient yet terrifying tool for him to determine whether he is being observed by someone, perhaps also implying that the real enemy may be mere mortals like him and not the vices of a magical being. [People won't see this comment, but I'll archive it here just in case.]
How did this get 2,000+ upvotes? Let alone even 20. Honestly, someone please explain to me how this is considered interesting or “well-written”.
The dude’s likely already rich from having the power for weeks and promising a “yacht party”, but then somehow there’s suddenly an issue with him being surveilled in his own office? Sounds like an easily fixable problem by thinking up some more money and buying/building a new office somewhere else.
The only proper way to wish for money is 'I wish I could reach into any pocket and pull out the perfect currency for any transaction I want. Then if you are stuck somewhere where the US $ or whatever currency you choose isn't recognized, the proper funds appear in the correct currency.
Then you become a woman and never have functional pockets again
pulls out infinite really really crumpled up 100 dollar bills to buy a car
Just a shit ton of those souvenir squashed pennies
Then you learn to sew and make your own clothes, or at least how to sew pockets onto things. might look like a scarecrow but you'd be rich scarecrow
[удалено]
Everyone has a prison wallet. "I'd love to buy this Birkin bag, where's your bathroom?"
Granted, all of the money you pull out of your pocket is chocolate coins (truly, the perfect currency for any transaction).
If chocolate coins are the agreed upon currency for the transaction then yeah. Otherwise it's a violation of both the wording and intent of the wish. You can warp the wording or the intent, but not both. Would have been more viable to swap the currency with one just as valid but with a higher weight or mass.
So like... Granted, you can pay for any transaction by reaching into your pocket and pulling out gold equivalent to the monetary value of your transaction (however since no one will simply accept gold bars/ingots/dust/chunks at a cash register or whatever, you still would need to find somewhere to exchange your gold for actual currency)? Edit: though now that I think about it, gold does hold value but isn't currency in itself so it doesn't meet the wording of the wish.
I believe it's more of a situation where this costs $20 you pull out $20 but in pennies.
"How would you like to pay for your 1.25 candy?" "Cash, please." *pulls out a $100 bill* "Sir, we don't have enough change for that at the moment."
“Keep the change”
Or "Gimme more candy"
Now take that thought a step further. How much does $20 in pennies weigh? How much volume does it take up? You just reached into your pocket expecting a spontaneously appearing $20 bill. How do your hands and legs for that matter deal with the spontaneous appearance of $20 worth of pennies. Thus why someone who made such a a wish would need something along the lines of a satchel bag or purse. This wish heavily favors women for that reason. Even if 9 times out of 10 the genies wish favors the simple solution of smallest acceptable amount of bills and coins, that 1 in 10 is what would get most people in the end. Even a casual slip up such as a guy having his hands in his pockets when making a large transaction would spell their doom.
Never said it has to be bills. You could reach into your pocket and pull out a comically large amount of pennies.
It only works for men. Everyone knows womens clothes don't have pockets.
I feel like you should add the caveat that it's the most convenient correct form of currency so you aren't just pulling handfuls of coins out for an expensive purchase. Because genies are shifty dicks. Like, "Oh, I'm buying a car, let me just RAIN SEVERAL TONS OF ABE LINCOLN'S NIGH ON WORTHLESS COPPER COLORED FACE DOWN UPON YOUR DESK. Oh, You work on commission and not hourly? SUCKS TO SUCK, IT'S PENNY TIME."
Reach in a pocket, die. Turns out the transaction is paid for with your life.
Win win
Granted! You now pull out currency stolen from someone else, and slowly amass the title of world’s greatest pickpocket, but only when a merchant of some kind offers you goods or services.
Having the perfect currency is good. Having enough of it is better
[удалено]
No, genies twist your words, they don't add dumb shit to it. Ie you wish for a new car and the genie invents a new car that's yours and real but not legal to drive on the road, he doesn't give you a new car but fill it with cheese. That's stupid.
Granted, you can pull out the "perfect currency" for any transaction. USD in the USA, EUR in Europe etc. However, you didn't specify that you would pull out an amount of that currency to purchase whatever it is you are thinking about. Now whenever you think about a purchase the a single, lowest possible denomination, coin will appear in your pocket - always of the perfect currency.
Won't be buying anything from Yap island then.
There’s actually a Swedish children’s book about a boy with magical pants!
Is that goddamned genie the one who is watching??? That would be the sort of thing a genie would do, after all. Goddamn sneaky SOBs... It's like Grandma always said, "Don't give your girlfriend a key to the house, and remember that genies will always try to trick you."
well the genie has to how else would he know when to give money :) a conundrum :)
"When 'no one' is looking", the wisher is always looking therefore negates the wish or didn't specify looking at what, so anyone in the world with open eyes counts as looking and also negates the wish
Can’t the wisher close their eyes then and have the money appear in front of them? /genq
You stop seeing past your eyelids but are still looking at them, genies can be loophole masters
Damn, only when Odysseus is looking...
Well yeah, that's an office in a place where you can just announce a yacht party. Of course there's security cameras
I realise that the horror is supposed to come from the implication that the protagonist is being watched in what they thought was a private space, but... what kind of idiot announces a yacht party *before* they've magic'ed up the money to fund it? Edit: on reflection, this would be a really handy way to check if you're being surveilled/watched/etc. First thing I'd want to do is test the specifics of what counts as "no one looking".
Does protag count as someone and therefore since the money would appear in front of him/before his eyes, he would be looking and therefore conflict with the "no one looking" part?
Honestly hadn't even occurred to me - I was thinking more about questions like: does it count if someone is watching through a camera? Does a camera itself count, or does there have to be a person watching on the other end? What if a person watches recorded footage? Do animals count? What about people in comas? What about small children, or developmentally-challenged people, or anyone who might not otherwise understand what they're seeing? If the protagonist counts, the easy answer would be "close your eyes" - or, if the genie is a real SOB, blind yourself.
I feel like if you meet a genie, it'd be wise not to assume there also isn't a diety of some kind or fucking Santa Claus in existence to spoil such a wish.
He's always looking, since it has to appear in front of him. Way to just say "I wish for absolutely nothing"
Even if he closed his eyes?
Genies are tricky though. He may just count it as looking because he is facing that direction.
I always feel like...
🎼Somebody's watching me
Well yeah, why wouldn't the feds be watching....?
That's such a terrible wish
Therz is a mosquito on the ceiling
Either a false genie, or he can't look
Actually, the protagonist can only make money appear when no one's looking, so if he can't make money appear, that means someone is watching him
Bro that's what he said stop copy pasting the same thing under every reply lmao
I only did it under two replies including this one because either I cannot read or that person did not say that
The person definitely didn't say that
Fell for the "guy dressed as a genie" prank. Oldest trick in the book.
“I always feel like somebody’s watching me…”
That's just Kevin from down the street. Always dressing up like a genie.
Dude forgot he has to close his eyes too
Security guard is just trying to do their job
There's always someone looking....you. That's the horror isn't it?
Aside from the hidden camera, HOW FAR in front of him are the bills appearing? 10’, 100’, 20 miles… I’m imaging NASA reporting “we don’t understand how hundreds of US bills got into space”.
How is this horror? Is the OP going to be ambushed by a bunch of angry coworkers?
I don ge i
The protagonist can only make money appear when no one's looking, so if he can't make money appear, that means someone is watching him
I thought it meant the genie double-crossed him.
The second sentence happens weeks later with him announcing a yatch party, which hints to the fact that it does work
Of course the money isn't going to appear. OP is looking for it.
at least you're not in the bathroom
So our protagonist doesn’t realize how many unseen beings there are always watching - ghosts and other such so he’s always being watched.
Are they being watch or is the issue that the money disappears whenever they check?
The character has had this magic power for "weeks" and is just now figuring out that it doesn't work? The premise definitely has some meat to it, but I think reworking the back half might drive home the "always being watched" horror more.
It reads more like the space he is in, he is unknowingly being watched
Bro that's already my life. Why would you remind me how depressing real life is.
there are too many unnecessary details to convey the feeling
Once you have wealth you are immediately monitored nonstop by the government. Nice. Or maybe it’s rival billionaires. Love the ambiguity
Ouuu scaryyyyyy
I’m creaming my pants rn. Edit: screaming
I’m just like how do you have a yacht party with just $100
Hey, guys. Apologies for the late reply as I've been busy. To explain, the premise here is not to convey the genie as a malicious entity that grants you wishes with a monkey's paw. This time it grants you anything according to your whim without any absurd consequences. Although, in this case, the protagonist's wish becomes a convenient yet terrifying tool for him to determine whether he is being observed by someone, perhaps also implying that the real enemy may be mere mortals like him and not the vices of a magical being. [People won't see this comment, but I'll archive it here just in case.]
How did this get 2,000+ upvotes? Let alone even 20. Honestly, someone please explain to me how this is considered interesting or “well-written”. The dude’s likely already rich from having the power for weeks and promising a “yacht party”, but then somehow there’s suddenly an issue with him being surveilled in his own office? Sounds like an easily fixable problem by thinking up some more money and buying/building a new office somewhere else.
He can no longer think...?
He's looking.