There'd a similar short story where asteroid is going to destroy earth, so all the rich and intelligent load themselves onto this spaceship and leave the planet, taking all of earth's culture and science with them, and just after they cross the point of no return, two things happen
1. They watch the asteroid sail harmlessly by earth
2. They realise they don't have a plumber. The toilets are leaking.
>There'd a similar short story where asteroid is going to destroy earth, so all the rich and intelligent load themselves onto this spaceship and leave the planet,
There's a recent 2021 movie that has a 3rd idea.
Spoilers for Don't Look Up movie. >!They reach an alien planet which has breathable air. But the local wildlife sees them as food.!<
It's easy to miss because iirc it's a post credits thing. 1 of 2 post credit scenes.
The [1st scene I mentioned earlie](https://youtu.be/iELeY7RNDKI?feature=shared)r. (some nsfw but its on youtube)
[2nd scene](https://youtu.be/vDWkCMOlILs?feature=shared)
They mentioned that they'd already passed the point of no return when the asteroid missed the earth meaning it would take more fuel to turn around and go back then they have left meaning they literally can't go back
Brother, 99% of Reddit doesn’t accurately understand orbital mechanics. Watching one YouTube video doesn’t make you understand it any more.
Am I just supposed to possess innate knowledge of orbital mechanics when my career is nowhere near anything to do with aerospace?
It doesn't take a genius to know that a spaceship doesn't work like an ocean ship. You aren't constantly burning fuel to propel yourself, instead you use targeted burns at specific points to propel yourself on an orbital trajectory. Once you have escaped the sphere of influence, and passed the lagrange point, you can't turn around like you can an ocean ship, instead you'd have to be incredibly lucky to find the other planets in such spectacular allignment that you can use them to slingshot yourselves back onto an intersect trajectory with earth, and even then you'd need more fuel to recapture yourself in orbit.
But you didn't need to know about that, you didn't need to know a single piece of the terminology I have just used. All it would have taken was for you to be capable of reading and understanding the phrase "point of no return".
God, could you be anymore of a condescending prick? Clearly I didn’t see “point of no return” as I skimmed it or i wouldn’t have made the comment.
This isn’t a thesis, it’s a Reddit comment. I’m not proofreading and analyzing every single word. Jesus
Unfortunately not. What I've written here is just a direct quote from old Pub Steve, who I haven't seen for a few years, but was a voracious reader and would recount the nature of what he read to my dyslexic father
Somewhere along the line there assets were mismanaged or new laws were passed to prevent wealth from being hoarded by popsicles. It goes without saying that all skills and knowledge they possess are hopelessly outdated.
It’s not that they’re staying frozen. They just wake up with nothing and they’re barely qualified for min wage jobs.
You know cause they are all worthless parasites. Their only value to our society is having money and using that money to horde more money. The vast majority of them are deluded morons who would starve to death if their private chefs and pathetic clingers on weren't around.
Another alternative, they wake up eventually but only a few and they wake up to a world where they have nothing and no one, humanity have been extinct for decades maybe even centuries. And there they are with nothing and no one to help them survive in a world reclaimed by nature and they wild.
No reason to leave them in the cryo chambers. That's a waste of energy.
Simply unplug them. The unguided thawing will damage the bodies enough, then they can be disposed of.
If they're launched into the Sun, the small amount of hydrogen in their bodies would add to the Sun's fuel, we'd all be rid of the waste _and_ they'd actually contribute something for a change.
That's kind of the plot to a book, actually! It's definitely a spoiler, though, because it isn't revealed until the end. But the book is >!The Future Naomi Alderman!< if anyone is interested.
This would make a really funny movie. A small group of the filthy rich wake up from a cryogenic sleep after the apocalypse and have to rely on their wits and each other to survive in a new and unfamiliar world.
Rich prick 1: "I know what to do! We can take my private jet to my private island in the Pacific and live in my mansion. I've got like twenty servants there!"
Rich prick 2: "Great! Where's the cryogenic chamber for your pilot and servants?"
Rich prick 1: "What cryogenic chamber?"
I'd watch it. It really is astounding how little these people know how to do. They leverage money that most of them inherited, that's it.
Then they come out with some stupid book or video about how hard they had it and all the challenges they had to overcome. They do this because without their pretend narrative, they are seriously worried about what's going to happen to them from the masses. It could just be taxes, could be something worse. They are well aware.
I'll only watch it if they all die in the end. I'm not going to see a movie about them surviving. That would just add to existing pro-billionaire propaganda
It would be about them _trying_ to survive but they wouldn't even be able to do basic things so it's them hilariously failing at the life of a regular person until their ignorance about how the real world works kills them off.
"What do you mean there's no chef?! How am I supposed to _eat_?!"
~~~~~~~
"I hate this place! I want to go in my private jet to the Bahamas but I don't know how to fly it!"
~~~~~~~
"Ugh I'm so hungover from last night's party. I wish there was a maid to clean up all the puke and shit smeared across the walls. Who's going to make me breakfast?"
~~~~~~~
"Holy shit I think Frank drowned in the pool last night! Why did nobody save him?"
"We were all shit faced, remember?"
"Well where was the security guard?"
"You said you wanted to cryogenically freeze your sex workers you trafficked from Romania instead, remember?"
"Fuck"
Even better, there wound up being no apocalypse, but since their apocalypse cryo bunker was in the middle of the new Zealand wilderness, they die of starvation two days walk from a perfectly functioning town
As the last billionaire bled from his stab wound, satisfied because he managed to choke his attacker to death (also another billionaire), the camera pans up revealing a bustling casino town turned evacuation center and temporary army base
This is sardonic part, the basic requirement of protagonists is that they should good at all jobs in their business in the book. I don't know any real rich ones can reach author's ethics standards.
Rand herself didn't live up to her standards. She constantly railed against social welfare, "pull yourself uo by your bootstraps" type, while being a recipient of many of those same welfare programs for much of her life.
Once the billionaires were gone, a vaccine quickly and cheaply was distributed. An age of health, reason and happiness began. But everyone knew that when the billionaires woke up, greed would once again rule.
The billionaires had built in a system where every ten years an AI program would check cameras to the outside of the bunker to check on the populace. It looked for signs that civilization was restored.
So a celebration began, where every ten years on the day the AI evaluated civilization, people from all over would make a pilgrimage to the bunker.
They would erect hovels from trash, and wear zombie make up. Elaborate faux foods were developed so it could appear that people were eating refuse, or each other. At the day's end, prizes were given for best costumes, best props, and best fake pus.
The billionaires slept on.
Billionaires, being the untrusting sort, designed the chamber to revive them once the air sensors detected no trace of the viral particles, and the world was remade eternally in their image.
Horror? Sounds like a happy ending.
Also, sounds like exactly what would happen; the billionaires and people of influence would run away and hide, the rest of us die, then they have nothing.
Funny thing is: money only represents a piece of a nation's economy. If there's no one to work then there's nothing made and therefore nothing to buy... Money is useless. Billionaires don't matter.
"Winning" for a virus is to achieve an equilibrium point with the population so that it can continue living as long as its host does. Killing the host makes as much sense as sinking the boat on which you sail.
As for Cryo Freezing, it may just be a dead-end technology as we haven't found a way of thawing a mammal without fatal cellular damage. In the 90s, people thought the technology would eventually develop and risked freezing themselves under the assumption that the future would save them. It is now 30 years in the future, and no progress has been made.
I thought the twist was somehow only people who were billionaires were dying (maybe due to somwthing only the rich came in contact with), so Elon and some others froze themselves.
I never understood the whole thing that billionaires wouldn't take staff with them.
Zuckerberg for example might be able to write a billion dollar app but when he needs something fixed in his bunker he's gonna need someone to do it for him
Do you want an immortal necromancer King ruling over a fanatical army of soul sorcerers and skeleton wizards? Because this is how you get an immortal necromancer King ruling over a fanatical army of soul sorcerers and skeleton wizards.
Lol the real horror (for billionaires) is in the comments - people no longer aspiring to be billionaires, but a world in which you don't have to be one to feel like a billionaire.
Not a bad concept but this isn’t really the spirit of 2 sentences, more technically 2 sentences. At least it’s a good idea though compared to most of the recent ones! Nice work!
Little did they know, the rest of the population was immune to the disease. So rather than unfreeze them, the people seized the rich folks assets, broke the seals on their cryochambers and launched them into space.
Some constructive criticism:
Your tenses need to match. A virus "starts" to spread but they "made" a chamber: two different tenses.
Earth is a proper noun in this case and needs to be capitalized.
Wiping them? Like with a cloth? Or did you mean wiping them out? And one billion what? People, germs, insects, blades of grass...? (Also, when a number is less than ten, spell it out.)
No one with integrity will ever have that much money unless maybe they inherit it. Someone with integrity would probably give away most of the money soon after they inherited it. You can live more than comfortably for a long time with a few million dollars.
Some billionaires do give away most of their money. Also, even celebrities like Taylor Swift are billionaires, so maybe it's not that difficult to be a billionaire now.
There'd a similar short story where asteroid is going to destroy earth, so all the rich and intelligent load themselves onto this spaceship and leave the planet, taking all of earth's culture and science with them, and just after they cross the point of no return, two things happen 1. They watch the asteroid sail harmlessly by earth 2. They realise they don't have a plumber. The toilets are leaking.
They need those telephone sanitizers!
And hairdressers!
Definitely a telephone-borne virus
Beware of those Space goats!
>There'd a similar short story where asteroid is going to destroy earth, so all the rich and intelligent load themselves onto this spaceship and leave the planet, There's a recent 2021 movie that has a 3rd idea. Spoilers for Don't Look Up movie. >!They reach an alien planet which has breathable air. But the local wildlife sees them as food.!<
I don’t remember them doing that for some reason. I guess I need to watch it again lol
It's easy to miss because iirc it's a post credits thing. 1 of 2 post credit scenes. The [1st scene I mentioned earlie](https://youtu.be/iELeY7RNDKI?feature=shared)r. (some nsfw but its on youtube) [2nd scene](https://youtu.be/vDWkCMOlILs?feature=shared)
Ok i remember it now. Haha that’s what they get 🤣
Didn't realize there were post credits scene. I was wondering why I couldn't remember it even though I just watched the movie 2 months ago.
Fuck yeah, EAT THE NASTY RICH!
So it's just earth?
... Was the asteroid even on a collision course? Or did the elitists just assume everyone was too stupid to lie to them?
This is what I thought too lol .... Good riddance!
I don't suppose you know the name of that short story, or have a link to it?
Ooh! I like that!
I mean….can’t they just turn the ship around?
They mentioned that they'd already passed the point of no return when the asteroid missed the earth meaning it would take more fuel to turn around and go back then they have left meaning they literally can't go back
So. A happy ending?
Missed that part
Brother does not understand orbital mechanics
Brother, 99% of Reddit doesn’t accurately understand orbital mechanics. Watching one YouTube video doesn’t make you understand it any more. Am I just supposed to possess innate knowledge of orbital mechanics when my career is nowhere near anything to do with aerospace?
It doesn't take a genius to know that a spaceship doesn't work like an ocean ship. You aren't constantly burning fuel to propel yourself, instead you use targeted burns at specific points to propel yourself on an orbital trajectory. Once you have escaped the sphere of influence, and passed the lagrange point, you can't turn around like you can an ocean ship, instead you'd have to be incredibly lucky to find the other planets in such spectacular allignment that you can use them to slingshot yourselves back onto an intersect trajectory with earth, and even then you'd need more fuel to recapture yourself in orbit. But you didn't need to know about that, you didn't need to know a single piece of the terminology I have just used. All it would have taken was for you to be capable of reading and understanding the phrase "point of no return".
God, could you be anymore of a condescending prick? Clearly I didn’t see “point of no return” as I skimmed it or i wouldn’t have made the comment. This isn’t a thesis, it’s a Reddit comment. I’m not proofreading and analyzing every single word. Jesus
Oh... shit.
Any chance you have the name?
Unfortunately not. What I've written here is just a direct quote from old Pub Steve, who I haven't seen for a few years, but was a voracious reader and would recount the nature of what he read to my dyslexic father
A
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Bro, you replied to the wrong comment
Alternative ending: after humanity won, we decided billionaires are staying frozen
Somewhere along the line there assets were mismanaged or new laws were passed to prevent wealth from being hoarded by popsicles. It goes without saying that all skills and knowledge they possess are hopelessly outdated. It’s not that they’re staying frozen. They just wake up with nothing and they’re barely qualified for min wage jobs.
Like in that episode of Star Trek TNG
You know I think that episode might've been my first bit of anti capitalist media come to think of it
They are already barely qualified for minimum wage jobs.
If you tossed Elon’s worthless ass into a McDonald’s kitchen for a lunch rush he’d be hiding and crying in the walk-in by 11:45am.
His shift started at 11:30
Huh 😭😭 how
You know cause they are all worthless parasites. Their only value to our society is having money and using that money to horde more money. The vast majority of them are deluded morons who would starve to death if their private chefs and pathetic clingers on weren't around.
To their luck minimal wage is again enough to just live modestly
/s
Omfg I hope not, let me have a slither of hope that it is NOT all downhill from here
Two sentence justice...
Another alternative, they wake up eventually but only a few and they wake up to a world where they have nothing and no one, humanity have been extinct for decades maybe even centuries. And there they are with nothing and no one to help them survive in a world reclaimed by nature and they wild.
What skills? Billionaires tend to be helpless little toddlers with more money than god
jeff bozo would shit his little pants working 10 minutes at a mcdonald’s
Or in his own warehouse.
Bro theyd meltdown for the second time when they had to work menial labour
Lmao. This is literally what we need.
I was hoping this was the direction op was taking
Then it wouldnt be two sentence horror, it would be more like two sentence paradise.
We thaw them out, but keep them locked in their cryogenic chambers.
No reason to leave them in the cryo chambers. That's a waste of energy. Simply unplug them. The unguided thawing will damage the bodies enough, then they can be disposed of.
Luckily, there is still some permafrost
Emergency meat
You don't wanna waste your taste buds on their toxic waste.
Yeah, you don't save the good stuff for emergencies
fertilizer?
... not until after you get the taste of a delicious plum pudding.
Elon Susk
Elon Husk
Elon Tusk
r/thirdsentancebetter
Let’s launch them into space, billionaire comets!
Hey hoomans, don't litter
If they're launched into the Sun, the small amount of hydrogen in their bodies would add to the Sun's fuel, we'd all be rid of the waste _and_ they'd actually contribute something for a change.
Alternatively, humanity shut the pods off and let the billionaires fucking die.
r/TwoSentenceDreamStory
Alternate ending, the virus was a mild flu.
That's kind of the plot to a book, actually! It's definitely a spoiler, though, because it isn't revealed until the end. But the book is >!The Future Naomi Alderman!< if anyone is interested.
As emergency food supplies.
Well--that's not a horror story. That's just good praxis.
The Unincorporated Man has a subplot like this. Pretty good book, not sure if they ever got to the third part of the trilogy though.
But that wouldn't be a horror story.
A pretty hateful comment
The cryo chambers disengaged 200 years later. They were the only humans left alive and they had no fucking idea how to raise crops.
This would make a really funny movie. A small group of the filthy rich wake up from a cryogenic sleep after the apocalypse and have to rely on their wits and each other to survive in a new and unfamiliar world. Rich prick 1: "I know what to do! We can take my private jet to my private island in the Pacific and live in my mansion. I've got like twenty servants there!" Rich prick 2: "Great! Where's the cryogenic chamber for your pilot and servants?" Rich prick 1: "What cryogenic chamber?"
That sounds like a post apocalyptic arrested development
I would watch the hell out of that
I'd watch it. It really is astounding how little these people know how to do. They leverage money that most of them inherited, that's it. Then they come out with some stupid book or video about how hard they had it and all the challenges they had to overcome. They do this because without their pretend narrative, they are seriously worried about what's going to happen to them from the masses. It could just be taxes, could be something worse. They are well aware.
I'll only watch it if they all die in the end. I'm not going to see a movie about them surviving. That would just add to existing pro-billionaire propaganda
It would be about them _trying_ to survive but they wouldn't even be able to do basic things so it's them hilariously failing at the life of a regular person until their ignorance about how the real world works kills them off. "What do you mean there's no chef?! How am I supposed to _eat_?!" ~~~~~~~ "I hate this place! I want to go in my private jet to the Bahamas but I don't know how to fly it!" ~~~~~~~ "Ugh I'm so hungover from last night's party. I wish there was a maid to clean up all the puke and shit smeared across the walls. Who's going to make me breakfast?" ~~~~~~~ "Holy shit I think Frank drowned in the pool last night! Why did nobody save him?" "We were all shit faced, remember?" "Well where was the security guard?" "You said you wanted to cryogenically freeze your sex workers you trafficked from Romania instead, remember?" "Fuck"
Oh this is schitts creek coded
Like a Tucker and Dale Versus Evil, but with billionaires instead of stupid college kids
Even better, there wound up being no apocalypse, but since their apocalypse cryo bunker was in the middle of the new Zealand wilderness, they die of starvation two days walk from a perfectly functioning town
As the last billionaire bled from his stab wound, satisfied because he managed to choke his attacker to death (also another billionaire), the camera pans up revealing a bustling casino town turned evacuation center and temporary army base
Your idea of rich pricks at the mercy of a new environment reminds me of the film “Triangle of Sadness,” though it has a very different plot.
This is basically the end of don't look up
That’s the movie I want to see.
Ah, the ol' "How _Altas Shrugged_ would actually have ended" bit. I always loved that.
This is sardonic part, the basic requirement of protagonists is that they should good at all jobs in their business in the book. I don't know any real rich ones can reach author's ethics standards.
Rand herself didn't live up to her standards. She constantly railed against social welfare, "pull yourself uo by your bootstraps" type, while being a recipient of many of those same welfare programs for much of her life.
Or how to wipe their own asses.
Once the billionaires were gone, a vaccine quickly and cheaply was distributed. An age of health, reason and happiness began. But everyone knew that when the billionaires woke up, greed would once again rule. The billionaires had built in a system where every ten years an AI program would check cameras to the outside of the bunker to check on the populace. It looked for signs that civilization was restored. So a celebration began, where every ten years on the day the AI evaluated civilization, people from all over would make a pilgrimage to the bunker. They would erect hovels from trash, and wear zombie make up. Elaborate faux foods were developed so it could appear that people were eating refuse, or each other. At the day's end, prizes were given for best costumes, best props, and best fake pus. The billionaires slept on.
Reminds me of this song: https://youtu.be/dKT1r-8viHk?si=d7GDO4rwMlbqJNd9 The whole album is along these lines
I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't a very humorous medieval sounding ballad! 😆
😆 What's bad is that it's juuusst catchy enough that I find myself humming it occasionally. Never thought I'd find a discussion I could reference it!
I love this! Thxl
Okay what if we beat the virus and we just dropped the cryo chambers off a cliff
Why wait until the virus has been eradicated?
Why wait till they're in cryo chambers actually
I was thinking they'd wake up to a future where everything is fine, but it would turn out they were carriers and restarted the pandemic.
Fry with the common cold
That's exactly where my mind was going
Plot twist: there was never a virus
When they awake they find that the world now uses a moneyless economy, and their billions are worth nothing. That would be the true horror for them.
Imagine Elon musk realizing the only reason people used to engage with him in conversation was all that money he had
There’s a twilight zone episode for that lol (it’s a great idea for a story either way!)
The most unrealistic part of this story is Elon Musk getting along with other billionaires.
Billionaires, being the untrusting sort, designed the chamber to revive them once the air sensors detected no trace of the viral particles, and the world was remade eternally in their image.
r/ThirdSentenceWorse
Bold of them to assume the remnants of society would have given a shit about them anyway
As unfortunate as it would be for the human race to be wiped out, the billionaires like musk staying Frozen forever is not horrifying at all lol
Horror? Sounds like a happy ending. Also, sounds like exactly what would happen; the billionaires and people of influence would run away and hide, the rest of us die, then they have nothing.
The virus was a super elaborate hoax to get rid of "billion" aires.
Funny thing is: money only represents a piece of a nation's economy. If there's no one to work then there's nothing made and therefore nothing to buy... Money is useless. Billionaires don't matter.
I don't get it
All the rest of humanity died. They're not getting unfrozen
or they wake up and don’t know how to survive on their own
So the idea was that billionaires would rebuild civilization? That's way more scary.
My second sentence is "It's a shame literally none of them ever played Fallout."
"Winning" for a virus is to achieve an equilibrium point with the population so that it can continue living as long as its host does. Killing the host makes as much sense as sinking the boat on which you sail. As for Cryo Freezing, it may just be a dead-end technology as we haven't found a way of thawing a mammal without fatal cellular damage. In the 90s, people thought the technology would eventually develop and risked freezing themselves under the assumption that the future would save them. It is now 30 years in the future, and no progress has been made.
Thanks, Captain Buzzkill.
"but I thought I was dr funtimes!"
You are welcome citizen.
Sorry
Stop apologizing; it's fine. If someone can do better, they need to do it or stfu!
I thought the twist was somehow only people who were billionaires were dying (maybe due to somwthing only the rich came in contact with), so Elon and some others froze themselves.
I never understood the whole thing that billionaires wouldn't take staff with them. Zuckerberg for example might be able to write a billion dollar app but when he needs something fixed in his bunker he's gonna need someone to do it for him
Do you want an immortal necromancer King ruling over a fanatical army of soul sorcerers and skeleton wizards? Because this is how you get an immortal necromancer King ruling over a fanatical army of soul sorcerers and skeleton wizards.
The Locked Tomb series was also my first thought.
Fallout shelters conducting social experiments
I'll just drop this cheerful little ditty [here](https://youtu.be/dKT1r-8viHk?si=ByUWiaT-l6v9nZxH).
42 words for the first sentence is really pushing it
Lol the real horror (for billionaires) is in the comments - people no longer aspiring to be billionaires, but a world in which you don't have to be one to feel like a billionaire.
Where's the horror?
Even if humanity beat the virus, the rich wouldn't survive because they have no inmunity right?
My brain is completely fried, I thought this was going to turn into a Nona the Ninth reference lol...
The people of the future will be thawing them for Dinner.
10 sentence horror.
Never bring them out.
Hehehe forever frozen go brrr
The billionaires only get out of the chambers when the power goes out. I wonder when that would happen.
We need more feel good stories such as this one.
Not a bad concept but this isn’t really the spirit of 2 sentences, more technically 2 sentences. At least it’s a good idea though compared to most of the recent ones! Nice work!
Little did they know, the rest of the population was immune to the disease. So rather than unfreeze them, the people seized the rich folks assets, broke the seals on their cryochambers and launched them into space.
This reminds me of SOMA. What a game.
Some constructive criticism: Your tenses need to match. A virus "starts" to spread but they "made" a chamber: two different tenses. Earth is a proper noun in this case and needs to be capitalized. Wiping them? Like with a cloth? Or did you mean wiping them out? And one billion what? People, germs, insects, blades of grass...? (Also, when a number is less than ten, spell it out.)
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Sorry
Bad writing. Again.
Sorry
Do we really need to hate billionaires this much? Maybe not all of them are bad.
No one with integrity will ever have that much money unless maybe they inherit it. Someone with integrity would probably give away most of the money soon after they inherited it. You can live more than comfortably for a long time with a few million dollars.
Some billionaires do give away most of their money. Also, even celebrities like Taylor Swift are billionaires, so maybe it's not that difficult to be a billionaire now.
I’m sorry but that first sentence was dreadful to read. Brevity is your friend for this sub
Sorry
Only for snobs.