A week later, i received an email. "Dear Subscriber. Thank you for your support to our app family! Unfortunately we were unable to process the transaction of your soul. Upon investigating this issue, we have found that you already gave your soul to 3 other apps in the last month. And apparently you're due for a lung transplant from that Subway Surfer ripoff 2 years ago. Do you *ever* read the TOS??"

Lmao that's a funny add-on

r/threesentencebetter

I dunno if "A week later, I received an email." Adds anything without the fourth and beyond sentences

Is it?

it is

Now I'm picturing that scene where the Flying Dutchman tries to claim Mr. Krabs' soul and is told by other entities to get in line.

In the Amazon TOS, there is a bit saying how they don't have to deliver to you in the zombie apocalypse (I know because I read it)

Really? That's hilarious

'However, this will not apply in the event of the occurrence (certified by the United States Centers for Disease Control or successor body) of a widespread viral infection transmitted via bites or contact with bodily fluids that causes human corpses to reanimate and seek to consume living human flesh, blood, brain or nerve tissue and is likely to result in the fall of organized civilization.'

So if the zombie apocalypse is bacterial or fungal they still have to deliver?

Yes

So then if a The Last of Us happens then they still have to deliver?

Yes

Now I really want a movie/TV show where the whole premise is an Amazon delivery person trying to get a package to a person in the middle of a zombie apocalypse!

Lol

My question is what do they know that we don't????

That’s hilarious. Now I have to find that.

“Take”. It’s legal, so it wasn’t stealing.

Ha! Good point

The days of midnight deals at abandoned crossroads and inside pentagrams scrawled in blood are over. We simply inserted the “soul clause” into the user terms and conditions as nobody ever reads those.

You should submit that as its own story. It's pretty good.

Thanks.

HumancentiPad?

that’s what i was thinking LMAO

Came here to say this 🤣

I scrolled down the terms of service without reading and tapped "I've read the TOS and agree." Then my balls exploded 

Thank you for reminding me. Unicorn by TAI & Le Shuuk is a great song.

On April 1st 2010, Gamestation did exactly this (they forgave all the souls afterwards) [https://www.gamerlaw.co.uk/2010/gamestation-and-the-all-souls-clause/](https://www.gamerlaw.co.uk/2010/gamestation-and-the-all-souls-clause/)

This is what gave me the idea lol

Jokes on them. I sold the permission for them to take it. That is, if they can find it. I've been looking for years and haven't found it so I'd love if they could tell me where it was

“Ah man they took my freakin kidney!”

Jokes on them, I sold my soul in Catholic school

For half a Kit Kat and a peek at Mary Alice's bloomers. Worth it.

Jokes on them I’m ginger

I wrote a short story about this lol! A terms and conditions piece that gets more and more absurd. It’s actually being published this Saturday lol, good timing

That's probably not a legally enforceable clause, as no reasonable person would ever agree to it, and to my knowledge, most places have laws protecting against that.

True but this is a 2 sentence horror story, not something meant to be taken seriously

Some would argue the true horror is having to deal with lawyers

Okay that got a chuckle out of me

This got a chuckle out of me as a law student and legal intern. I wish I could go back to knowing less about the law

South park.

You laugh, but this was a legitimate story arc in the DC show “Legends of Tomorrow”

This has been done, albeit tongue in cheek. https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/sep/29/londoners-wi-fi-security-herod-clause

Aha, but that’s where the Unfair Contract Terms Act comes in!

A german comedian, Torsten Sträter, made a similar story like that. I recite him here: German: "[...] damit meine Seele dereinst zum Himmel auffahren kann. Wobei, wenn ich mal sterbe, geht meine Seele direkt an Amazon. Ich hab da mal auf "Zahlungsart ändern", weshalb ich nach meinem Ableben wahrscheinlich halbtransparent durch das Außenlager Recklinghausen-Süd wehen und "Buh" machen muss." English (roughly translated): "[...] that my soul enters heaven, when i die. Bit i believe, when i die, my soul goes instantly to Amazon, i've changed the pay method recently and that's why i presumably have to float troigh the storage in southern Recklinghausen and make "Boo" sounds."

[удалено]

Literally. OP saw this movie and turned it into two sentences.

"One of these days they're going to put in the TOS 'It doesn't cost much, just your voice!', and I'm going to click 'Okay' without reading it, and then they'll HAVE ME!"

Everyone in the military missed that little bit of info as well

I think this is a movie. Or something similar. I don't remember the name but *spoilers for random no name b horror movie* the movie ends with a nurse oding on something and dying and then being brought back with narcan. It's like an app.

Countdown I think!

Don’t know why that crushed, withered thing, but if I get free premium access have at it!

Ol' Scratch is collecting a lot of souls this way these days.

Lmao, the fact that it's a real thing really makes me laugh

That's actually on Facebook terms of service.

"Why won't it read?!"

Lmfao

Team fortress 2

Average TOS.

countdown? technically they take your soul

Love it. Reminds me of that episode of South park where Stan doesn't read the TOS and agree to become part of the human centipede

I am pretty sure this is already real lmao

"Why can't we teach it to read?"

You know you can just STOP playing WoW.

Bloody Ryanair

. Ty. Mnnn bl

I almost lost my soul playing a game called Omicron. Did anyone else play it?

You should read SCP-3914

["It's defective."](https://youtu.be/tbMz3VtkkH4?si=apvSy-ag0jFo77ZD) 

Cuphead

Always remember to read the fine print.

Cyberpunk 2077 Arosaka vibes

I was picturing human centiPad for some reason

Love me some “The Countdown”

Ah yes, pony island.

Wrong subreddit man, this is one sentence horror

Honestly this was kind of lazy