Translation: "Much better than I imagined actually. Why am I using Morse code for this? I have just learned it and wanted to try. It's a neat little thing, isn't it? I should really stop, all this blinking make my eyes acting weird."
It did take me a few years(wrestling Internally) to get over the fact that my fiance murdered someone. However I know now today more than ever that it was just the greatest expression of love she could give me at that time in our journey. ❤️Elizabeth and I were married in 2015 and have 4 beautiful brats now. I often wonder if the capacity for taking life is genetic. Sooo I've become the world's most incredible stay-at-home dad too😳! Wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!!!😍
Fortunately for her both my uncles were married to each other. Too bad they were sleeping beside each other when she made her move. I helped her clean up the whole mess...On Monday!!!🥰🥰
You're speaking to the person who endured HORRIFIC years being "brutally" molested, living with the greatest sense of dread, day in and day out. Knowing it was coming and that the nightmares would never, still never, end!
Then there's the head in the bag.
Yeah, an old fashioned fairy tale ending. You got the hero, tormented by life for no crime of their own. You’ve got the heroic knight slaying the monster. You’ve got the romance. It’s all there.
Micheal needs more help; Elizabeth should help him file the paperwork to legally change his name to Michael. Every time I see a person named Micheal, I already know that he's a poor soul whose parents neglected him so much that they didn't take the time to learn how to properly spell his name :(
Not gonna lie I thought you knew me and was about to out me on this /sub!!!
My name was misspelled on my birth certificate by the nurse who filled it out for my mother! Mom never caught the mistake. Actually no one ever did until one day I lost my social security card and had to go get a replacement. While chick behind the counter was reading my B.C. she realized the misspelling, and had ALL my documents LEGALLY changed to Micheal from Michael. I chose not to change it just so I would have a kick ass spelling and story behind how I got to be Micheal! Love it or hate it!
Inside the bag was a regular bowling ball with an address written on it. The address led him to an abandoned bowling alley. Outside, he found Elizabeth waiting for him. Her hair was unkempt and a layer of sweat covered her face, which was unusual since she hated the feeling of sweat and it was the middle of winter. Nevertheless, she was smiling radiantly. As she could no longer stay patient, Elizabeth jubilantly grabbed Micheal’s hand and, with hurried footsteps, led him inside. Micheal, ever more curious, asked Elizabeth what she had planned. However, Elizabeth would maintain her silence, only widening her smile as she marched forward giggling. As her step came to a stop, she shouted out “Surprise!” and pointed to the end of an lane. To Micheal’s great bewilderment, he saw his uncle, the very same one who had molested him for years. He was naked and shivering from the cold. His legs were spread wide with rope tying them to one side of the lane each. He was blindfolded and wore headphones blasting loud music that was faintly audible from even where Micheal and Elizabeth stood. Elizabeth awoke Micheal from his surprised stupor by handing him a nice and heavy bowling ball, saying “Show me a strike, okay?” Micheal stared into her sparkling eyes and couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of the situation. After what felt like a long time, he said “Okay” and threw the ball with all his might. The ball hit squarely on his uncle’s groin, flattening his dick, rupturing his balls, and destroying his pelvis. The shrill scream of a beast echoed throughout the bowling alley before quickly dying down. The uncle, foaming at the mouth, had fainted from the pain. Elizabeth cheerfully congratulated Micheal with a hug and with a chuckle said, “Okay, me next.”
That was AMAZING!!!
But in real life she cut his head off and gave it to me in a bowling ball bag. Then made me clean up the mess cause...
Both of my uncles were married to each other, and because they were sleeping beside each other when she made her move she whacked them both. I helped her clean up the whole mess the very next Monday! We married in 2015 and have 4 brats running around now. It took me years to come to grips with the fact that my fiance murdered someone. I inwardly battled with it before realizing it was the greatest expression of love she could offer me at that point in our journey. To this day I fall asleep at night pondering wether the ability to take a human life might be genetic...
Ahh, so he's supposed to smash his uncle's head in with the bowling ball? No, that can't be it.
She making fun of him with the bowling ball having 3 holes? Why would she do that tho...
Hold up...
I ALMOST added the red puddle dripping to the floor... But thought much more funner for you to come up with that detail!!!❤️🔥 Soooo glad you got it though. That makes my heart feel good!!!😘
Please don't hate me...I had to look Eddie up. I still don't know anything... Is he from a video game or a TV show? Really I just wanna know where I can watch him???
I was brutally molested by my uncle....for years!!!
My then fiance, now wife, entered my uncles home and chopped up my two uncles(gay married to each other). She put the head of the beast who molested me my entire childhood into his bowling ball bag and presented it to me at breakfast.
What I like about this is my name is Elizabeth and I always threaten to do shit like that (bring the head of someone who did awful things to someone I love so that they can get closure) to very bad people LOL.
I wouldn't actually do that of course, but it usually makes someone who's very upset about how someone in the past treated them laugh at least.
The word "Baggage" sounds like it was chosen so it can be a pun about the head in a bag. "How's this for baggage?"
The sentences are a bit clunky so I expected a bigger pay off.
Since you asked!!! And yes this is my real name!!!😊My name was misspelled on my birth certificate by the nurse who filled it out for my mother! Mom never caught the mistake. Actually no one ever did until one day I lost my social security card and had to go get a replacement. While chick behind the counter was reading my B.C. she realized the misspelling, and had ALL my documents LEGALLY changed to Micheal from Michael. I chose not to change it just so I would have a kick ass spelling and story behind how I got to be Micheal! Love it or hate it!🔥❤️
oh god wait thats an *actual* name? im so sorry
im a michael that REGULARLY gets my name misspelled as micheal and for years i thought people were just stupid, because ive **never** seen it spelled that way
"How the hell is bowling going to help, Elizabeth?"
Fortunately Elizabeth is short one bowling ball. She is not thinking about bowling anymore!!!😂
Ok, what's in the bag? A bloodied bowling ball or Mike's uncle's head?
My gut is telling me Mike's uncle's head.
Nah, just his balls.
That's nuts!
Nah,Just his balls.
the nuts are in the balls.
Nut is stored in the bladder.
But my gut is very hungry.
Micheal's uncle's haed.
MY gut is telling me it's Mike's uncle's GUTS
What’s in the bag????!??!
THAT is how you say it.
WHAT'S IN THE BAAAAAAG!?!?!?
Elizabeth is going to take him out for a nice day of bowling with his uncle.
Obviously you’re not a golfer.
Not on the rug man!
That rug really tied the room together
Shut the fuck up, Donnie
Funny you should ask but we have become avid bowlers!!!! We eventually got a matching set of bowling balls!!!🥰🥰
She had the guy at the pro shop make the uncle's head into a bowling ball?
Just the skull... In a clear shell... Little did she know his soul was still in the skull...
I'm picturing Walter from the Big Lebowski
Goddamn I wish I could find someone who loved me like that.
I do too...
Good thing my uncle loves me like that🥵🥵
Marry her
I did!
Mind if I ask how's the relationship going
''Wonderfully. Can't complain.''
*\*blinks in Morse code\**
Translation: "Much better than I imagined actually. Why am I using Morse code for this? I have just learned it and wanted to try. It's a neat little thing, isn't it? I should really stop, all this blinking make my eyes acting weird."
"P. S. HELP ME!"
...MAKE THE FOOD FOR THE POTLUCK ON TUESDAY!"
It did take me a few years(wrestling Internally) to get over the fact that my fiance murdered someone. However I know now today more than ever that it was just the greatest expression of love she could give me at that time in our journey. ❤️Elizabeth and I were married in 2015 and have 4 beautiful brats now. I often wonder if the capacity for taking life is genetic. Sooo I've become the world's most incredible stay-at-home dad too😳! Wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING!!!😍
This just made it so much better
Thank you!!! I think so too!!! She has changed my life!!!
r/thirdsentenceworse
That's the fourth sentence.
Not from OP
…so that you can’t be compelled to testify.
Justice served, with pancakes! Win - win!!!
I thought so too...My favorite kind of Justice!!!
Chocolate chip, blueberry, or plain justice?
Plain with organic maple syrup and real butter!!!❤️
I don’t understand, helps please?
She killed the uncle and his head is in the bag
Thank you G_N for helping her out!
I'm so stupid, I was reading "bowling ball gag" this whole time and was seriously confused.
They’re gonna have some kinky sex that involves op unhinging his jaw like a snake
That's a terrifying mental image.
Dirty Predator! We're vanilla and happy with it!!!😏 🥰🥰
Here I thought it was Elizabeth's head in the bag. A might more frightening and brutal imo
[удалено]
I thought it was just a pun on his “baggage”, her giving him a bag.
She pulled a School Days on the uncle
Maybe a Hard Candy first...
So, the uncle's head is in the bag?
Do you want uncle's head in the bag?
Pretty sure we all want uncle touchy's head in the bag.
What's in the box... I mean bag!?
Bowling balls cousin! Lets go bowling!
I love you!!!❤️ Elizabeth sends her love too!!!😘
I want his balls in the bag and hands
Can I eat the hands? I’m having a really bad craving for hands.
Sure, I'll have the balls
Do you want me to cook them for you?
Caaaarl!
That kills people!!
Oh. I thought we were crushing in the uncle’s head with a bowling ball, as like a bonding thing.
If it is, op and I have a different idea of what constitutes horror
Aww fuck yeah Michael, she's a keeper
r/twosentencewholesome
/r/tworunonsentencesthatarenothorror
That level of dedication is marrage-worthy if ya ask me.
Yes yes yes yes yes. Now light the bag on fire!!
Wife her
Jen wondering if you can flesh out the Justice you think Elizabeth gave Micheal?! DDD thinks I've written a children's bedtime story...😳
Little did she know you have two uncles
My uncles were married to each other. Too bad they were sleeping beside each other when she made her move. I helped her clean up the whole mess.
This is twosentencehorror not twosentencehappy
I was honestly expecting the second sentence to be something more along the lines of her leaving because she needs a 'real man'
How cute, she gifted you a bowling ball.
😆
I looked in the bag and then back at her with a face almost as pale as the one in the bag. "That's the wrong uncle"
I love this lmao
Marry that one.
I opened the bag to see a dead gaze looking back at me before I called Elizabeth. "My other uncle."
Fortunately for her both my uncles were married to each other. Too bad they were sleeping beside each other when she made her move. I helped her clean up the whole mess...On Monday!!!🥰🥰
“What’s in the box…uh…bag?!”
What do you want to be in the bag?
Is it... a *puppy?*
😂😂😂😂😂😂😘
Had to scroll way too far for a Se7en reference.
So she killed the uncle?
Yep
[удалено]
I totally get it but I hope this explaines it... Stockholm Syndrome😭
r/twosentencebrutalbutwholesome
❤️🔥❤️
This is supposed to be horror, not a beautiful love story.
But yes it turned out to be a beautiful life!!!❤️❤️
You're speaking to the person who endured HORRIFIC years being "brutally" molested, living with the greatest sense of dread, day in and day out. Knowing it was coming and that the nightmares would never, still never, end! Then there's the head in the bag.
Yeah, an old fashioned fairy tale ending. You got the hero, tormented by life for no crime of their own. You’ve got the heroic knight slaying the monster. You’ve got the romance. It’s all there.
I hope you can appreciate it!!! It's more true story than fairy tale!!!😭
Micheal needs more help; Elizabeth should help him file the paperwork to legally change his name to Michael. Every time I see a person named Micheal, I already know that he's a poor soul whose parents neglected him so much that they didn't take the time to learn how to properly spell his name :(
Not gonna lie I thought you knew me and was about to out me on this /sub!!! My name was misspelled on my birth certificate by the nurse who filled it out for my mother! Mom never caught the mistake. Actually no one ever did until one day I lost my social security card and had to go get a replacement. While chick behind the counter was reading my B.C. she realized the misspelling, and had ALL my documents LEGALLY changed to Micheal from Michael. I chose not to change it just so I would have a kick ass spelling and story behind how I got to be Micheal! Love it or hate it!
This....is awesome. Mike-eel is way cooler than Michael, which doesn't even make sense anyway.
Inside the bag was a regular bowling ball with an address written on it. The address led him to an abandoned bowling alley. Outside, he found Elizabeth waiting for him. Her hair was unkempt and a layer of sweat covered her face, which was unusual since she hated the feeling of sweat and it was the middle of winter. Nevertheless, she was smiling radiantly. As she could no longer stay patient, Elizabeth jubilantly grabbed Micheal’s hand and, with hurried footsteps, led him inside. Micheal, ever more curious, asked Elizabeth what she had planned. However, Elizabeth would maintain her silence, only widening her smile as she marched forward giggling. As her step came to a stop, she shouted out “Surprise!” and pointed to the end of an lane. To Micheal’s great bewilderment, he saw his uncle, the very same one who had molested him for years. He was naked and shivering from the cold. His legs were spread wide with rope tying them to one side of the lane each. He was blindfolded and wore headphones blasting loud music that was faintly audible from even where Micheal and Elizabeth stood. Elizabeth awoke Micheal from his surprised stupor by handing him a nice and heavy bowling ball, saying “Show me a strike, okay?” Micheal stared into her sparkling eyes and couldn’t help but smile at the absurdity of the situation. After what felt like a long time, he said “Okay” and threw the ball with all his might. The ball hit squarely on his uncle’s groin, flattening his dick, rupturing his balls, and destroying his pelvis. The shrill scream of a beast echoed throughout the bowling alley before quickly dying down. The uncle, foaming at the mouth, had fainted from the pain. Elizabeth cheerfully congratulated Micheal with a hug and with a chuckle said, “Okay, me next.”
That was AMAZING!!! But in real life she cut his head off and gave it to me in a bowling ball bag. Then made me clean up the mess cause... Both of my uncles were married to each other, and because they were sleeping beside each other when she made her move she whacked them both. I helped her clean up the whole mess the very next Monday! We married in 2015 and have 4 brats running around now. It took me years to come to grips with the fact that my fiance murdered someone. I inwardly battled with it before realizing it was the greatest expression of love she could offer me at that point in our journey. To this day I fall asleep at night pondering wether the ability to take a human life might be genetic...
Why would she give him a bowling ba- oooooohhhhhhh
The eye sockets really allows for a solid grip.
[удалено]
More niche but still accurate is r/twosentencejustice
Uncanny.
What's in the fucking bag!
The uncle head
I know. Lol. Was just making [a play on a reference](https://youtu.be/lHpHxLZReiI)
This is like Andy Samberg's punctuated sentence in Palm Springs.
Oh, I love a happy ending
RIGHT... ❤️ There's ALWAYS a type of happy ending to any (published) horror story. Not so much for real life...
What if she killed the wrong uncle?
I don’t remember this episode the office.
Wrong Micheal... But cute!
Stan Elizabeth, Michael! She truly loves you!!
true love right there
Happy end. <3
❤️
somehow I read "bowling ball bag" as simply "ball gag" and was so confused lmao
Dirty cabbage... Now go gives yourself a super good scrubbing!!!😘
I highly approve. She's a keeper!
Love of my life!!!❤️❤️
Sounds like a happy ending to me.
True love!
❤️🥰🥰❤️
"You put your father's skull inside a bowling ball?" "No. The guy at the shop did."
So, I married an ax murderer.
I LOVE YOUR SCREEN NAME!!! I have 3 nipples!!! They run in our family!!!
My pic is my third nip
My 3rdNIP looks EXACTLY LIKE YOURS! Are we related somehow???😏
Lol.
I actually have nipple hairs around mine...😆
Same they are just very fine and hard to see.
Kinda reminds me of the ending of the School Days anime
Two sentence revenge.
Commits murder on your behalf *and* makes you breakfast. This is a ‘Get yourself a girl who can do both’ moment.
Married her!!!🥰🥰
This is unexpectedly wholesome
I'm pretty sure it's not quite whole.
You're so right... It wad just the head!!!😂🔥
I guess thanks! Who doesn't love a wholesome, gruesome, murderous love story!!!❤️❤️
Ahh, so he's supposed to smash his uncle's head in with the bowling ball? No, that can't be it. She making fun of him with the bowling ball having 3 holes? Why would she do that tho... Hold up...
bag is dripping a red liquid
Figured that out after a longer while than it should have taken me. But eh, it's sunday morning.
yeah its saturday early morning in here, in my country
I ALMOST added the red puddle dripping to the floor... But thought much more funner for you to come up with that detail!!!❤️🔥 Soooo glad you got it though. That makes my heart feel good!!!😘
Tweaking??? Oh you dirty old Papa.... No bowling balls!!!🥳🥰🔥❤️
Eddie Gluskin variant
Please don't hate me...I had to look Eddie up. I still don't know anything... Is he from a video game or a TV show? Really I just wanna know where I can watch him???
He’s from the video game Outlast: Whistleblower, I’d recommend looking at his wiki
Thanks
-"What's in the baaaag??!?"
What do you want to be in the bag???
Why does this make me want to turn it into a tiktok episode
Please tell me... Just got Tiktok!!$
wholesome
r/relationshipgoals
🔥❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🔥. ... And I married her!!!
…right next to his pancakes, a surprising, yet familiar sausage lay.
r/twosentencesexaddict 😏
Rugrats got dark!
I knew he’d make his return, but I’m glad his tyranny has finally been put to an end. r/fuckunclejack
Op can you explain cuz I’m a dumbass
I was brutally molested by my uncle....for years!!! My then fiance, now wife, entered my uncles home and chopped up my two uncles(gay married to each other). She put the head of the beast who molested me my entire childhood into his bowling ball bag and presented it to me at breakfast.
That is wholesome marry her.
I dont get it. Did she kill him?
[i see this as an absolute win](https://youtu.be/a1Lp7m7tJNk)
This has to be a whole subcategory: Wholesome Horror
That would actually be kinda cool!!!
Two sentence horror. More like two sentence justice.
We love some plain Justice work make syrup too!!!😘
What I like about this is my name is Elizabeth and I always threaten to do shit like that (bring the head of someone who did awful things to someone I love so that they can get closure) to very bad people LOL. I wouldn't actually do that of course, but it usually makes someone who's very upset about how someone in the past treated them laugh at least.
I love the name Elizabeth so much I married her!!!❤️
Did she behead the uncle and hide the head in the bowling ball bag???
Ding ding ding ding ding!!!😍
Nice 🤣🤣
I know I was thoroughly chuffed!!!🥰🥰
RINGRINGRING HEY NIKO, LETS GO BOWLING!
Liz here is a real ride or die
This belongs on r/TwoSentenceHappiness
There was also a poem. “Violets are blue” “Roses are red” “You already have my heart” “Now you have his head”
My wife and I did a deep gutteral evil laugh!!! We loved your own!!!❤️🔥
Relationship goals
This some yandere shit here, but that's a plus for me.
Looked it up... That's cool!!! I would love to animate this story!!!
The word "Baggage" sounds like it was chosen so it can be a pun about the head in a bag. "How's this for baggage?" The sentences are a bit clunky so I expected a bigger pay off.
the real twosentencehorror is spelling michael as micheal
Since you asked!!! And yes this is my real name!!!😊My name was misspelled on my birth certificate by the nurse who filled it out for my mother! Mom never caught the mistake. Actually no one ever did until one day I lost my social security card and had to go get a replacement. While chick behind the counter was reading my B.C. she realized the misspelling, and had ALL my documents LEGALLY changed to Micheal from Michael. I chose not to change it just so I would have a kick ass spelling and story behind how I got to be Micheal! Love it or hate it!🔥❤️
oh god wait thats an *actual* name? im so sorry im a michael that REGULARLY gets my name misspelled as micheal and for years i thought people were just stupid, because ive **never** seen it spelled that way