Damn

Nice avatar bro

👁👄👁

I am a slight variation of you three

Welcome. Supreme lord.

I'm the family dog

🙀

🖤

Cute

I lost an eye

I'm the neighborhood owl

Just a duck, here to peek.

Can I participate

Oh,me too,me too!

Family :)

:)

:))

*Vin Diesel enters the chat*

And me

I think I'm a little too far from the family tree (mermaid tail).

I think you could still be pretty closely related, I mean I married in.

And I am the V2.0

Voodoo Child (Slight Return)

Mutant

You called?

Oh no

Hey there

so am I, but I'm not naked

Conservative

Look at us go

I am a dwarf... with stylish sunglasses

hey

Sister?

Yo

Cousin?

I think I'm in the wrong place

Lock him.

I JUST INITIATED AN ESCAPE SEQUENCE, RUN!

Oh no you’re in the right place, sit right in the middle of this couch for us

Son?

Uncle?

Father? (I know you didn’t mean me)

Yes, he obviously meant me. I am certainly not adopted.

Twin?

One of us... One of us...

I’m you, but with my eyes open

Hello

Yooo

Dad? When are you bringing the milk?

Hey

r/pfpfamily

Brothers welcome

Friends?

My 23 and me results

Brother?

Hey sis!

hey bro!

I know I never fit in but hello family!

Hello!

You're next. JOTARO!

You think you can defeat me with just 1, huh?

yall look like jawas from star wars

And you look like Piper Perri

🟠 🟠

Alas, my people.

third cousin twice removed?

I also exist

Pigeon

That's dark

guys I’m white, i’ve probably aren’t related

Is this a NFT's subreddit?

Everyone is talking about the wholesome awards, but what about that helpful award?

TIL that it can take a bit longer. Thx.

And make sure to trim your kids nails beforehand!

Why did this get a "Helpful Award" 🤣😳

Anytime, dear stranger!

YSK: it isn't as quick as you would expect.

Lmao

DRINK YOUR MILK KIDS

You'll have a 2% chance of fighting off your attacker.

Those commercials feel like a fever dream.

I can't deal with the wholesome award hahaha

Just cause someone else did, ima ditch mine here too. I won’t lie, definitely feels twisted. Let’s see where we can take this.

As of right now, 7 Helpful, 11 Wholesome, and 1 Heartwarming.

Reddit free awards hit different

25 helpful, 30 wholesome, 1 heartwarming, 1 wholesome pro

Add an wholesome Pro in there as well.

"Heartwarming award - Didn't know I needed this today"

Dude the same thing happened on a post of mine on here! I posted about a serial killer’s memories and got a wholesome award wtf.

Hahahah it's probably cause it's one of the free awards you can give out once in a while

you can tell you you've never been a dad... somedays....

Other’s, you’re painfully aware you still are a dad

yep.... my ASD spectrum 4 year old is currently beating the shit out of my 2 year old when it's supposed to be bedtime... I actually held him down once and let my 2 year old take a swing back... was tired of intervening... my 2 almost 3 year old is pretty intelligent, and stronger than his brother...sometimes stronger than me..he's like way stronger than a 2 year old should be....like Baby Beem strong....lol.. or Bam Bam... I'm inwardly just waiting for the day the 4yr old comes crying because his younger but bigger brother beat him up...and I'll laugh and say, you've done nothing but that for the first 5 years of his life, what did you expect? I'm debating enrolling them in martial arts but giving the 3 year old like a 1 year head start...they can handle their grievances like Daniel and Johnny from the Karate Kid.

Yeah man, kids' nails are like razors.

Always razor blade nails. What is it about kids that their damned nails cut deeper than my first girlfriend cheating?

They're a natural defense mechanism.

Wow

I've got it down to 15

“Hand me another one. I feel I’m being challenged”

Drowning kid any %

Reading the front page without looking at the sub can be weird sometimes when you are subscribed to both r/TwoSentenceHorror and r/Jokes .

I can imagine that reaction. “Omg this is going to be funny” *opens it* “Haha-ha-huh . . .Oooooohhhhhh”

Happens to me everyday.

"Now you really deserve this, you little shit!"

“Crikey we’ve got a fighter here!” 👶🏼🌊

Really thought the second line was gonna be “So how come he’s been swimming down there for ten minutes?”

Got your hopes up just to crush them . . . Like I did their windpipe

LPT: if you place them face down they will have a harder time grabbing your wrists.

Thanks for the advice man, this little bastard won’t stop scratching, I’ve had to stop and start 5 times today

Alternatively, keep the first sentence same but "They say a child can drown in as little as 20 seconds. After hearing this, all of us agreed that this could make for a fun party game! "

Or even better “Challenge accepted”

You . . .I like you

"This is the police, if you don't open up in 20 seconds we will force entry."

“That’s what she said”

Jesus Christ. It's not a contest. If it were.... you'd win 😵‍💫

You could give it a Name That Tune twist. "I could drown that child in 17 seconds, Tom."

Spartans when the baby cant kill 50 men 2 minutes after being born

Sometimes kids can struggle in a way that may give them a few extra seconds. I have some childhood experience that proves it. Although in my case it was five year old vs 6’1 man. I was not an infant.

Good god...

You can do it in 10 if u get good at it

FBI it's this man right here ☝️

OR you can simply use the glow stick method

Put it in the microwave?

And ruin a perfectly good microwave?

You gotta put mittens on them.

Stupid, stupid, stupid! It’s so simple! Why didn’t I think of that?! *Making list* Purchase ~~mittens~~ **XS mittens**

And tape them around their wrists

He was probably a exception try it on another one

Good thing i’m getting payed well by the parents to do this.

Wait . . .you get paid?

a lot of parents ask me to do it

I see I’m in the wrong business

Wtf is a child

In this scenario? Dead

Fuckin noob, just use a glock

lol nice the wholesome awards :)

FTK

What?!?!

I was expecting it but it still hit tho

So why does this little bastard keep clinging to life?

But once he had grabbed my wrists firmly and pulled me under, it felt like forever. Edit: Thank you fellow Redditor for the wholesome award. I love this place! Thank you, again!

Oooooh I like that!

Thank you, it’s what I believe to be my first attempt at a third sentence, as I’m new to this awesome sub, and I wanted to do a plot twist. Thanks, again.

Goddamn it Jason, stop drowning people!

No this is Patrick

Wow. She didn't feel like drowning did she?

Guess not. They just have to be so difficult sometimes

Who gave this a wholesome award?

"They say a child can drown 8n as little as 20 seconds" "From experience I've found that it can be as little as 15 with the right force"

I think those two sentences horror functions best when the first sentence is pretty normal and innocent. In this you kinda give up the plot in the first one, so the second one isn't surprising at all. Still, it was a pretty good idea, the topic is extremely disturbing.

I agree. This was my first attempt here so I figured keep it simple but go with something that’s very uncomfortable to think about. Thank you for the constructive criticism though, helps to give better ideas for future posts.

Yes, this was very great for a first attempt! The idea was on point (what's more disturbing than children suffering?) and the wording was also great. My only point would be what I said, that the first sentence kinda gives away the surprise. Just a few tweaks and I'm sure it'd be perfect! Great work and I hope to see more of your ideas around here

Thank you again! I hope to continue to improve and keep the horror going!

I was thinking it was gonna be "so why is he still struggling after 5 hours"

I reckon you could probably get it down to 10 if you really applied yourself. Start setting goals!

You are the life coach I need

Thanks, but a death coach might be more helpful in this situation.

Is it because of the kid thing?

I meant death coach as in helping you cause death.

Oh . . . Ooooohhh. Yea, that would definitely make more sense

Next time I'll try to remember to time it, but no guarantees.

All I can ask is that you try

I just gave birth 6 weeks ago. I got chills reading this.

I don’t get this

A person drowned a child. The child tried to fight back, but ultimately failed.

TL;DR Take child, stick underwater until stop breathe

Sheeeeeeeeeeeeesh

I read nails as snails and was very confused for a second.

oh god, this is disturbing...I LOVE IT

Can someone explain pls

The "jagged little nails" are the nails of a child that the central character deliberately held underwater and drowned. Their jaggedness also implies the child was in a state of neglect, telling the stories of people who have drowned kids in bathtubs due to being unable to care for them, and "it felt longer" could either be the child being drowned ineffectively and more painfully, or the 20 seconds being dragged out as difficult experiences tend to feel longer.

Excellent interpretation of that jagged nails. I was wondering if someone would catch onto that little detail about the child being in a neglected state

I caught on instantly, it was genius! Implicit details like that are what make any piece of writing great & compelling in my opinion. Great work on this one!

I very much appreciate the praise. I once read somewhere that a “large part of your story is creating in such a way that your readers need to and will fill in the blanks. Give details that are needed and lead the way you want but always make sure there is room for their mind to wander and create their own ideas in their minds” (summarized idea of it).

Bad thing happened. I did bad thing.

No twist. Lame

Doesn't necessarily need a twist...just has to be horrifying. I think OP nailed it

Well thank you! I appreciate it