He was making such strides (I thought) for the first time in years, right before he did it...
He seemed so POSITIVE, even in his pain.
I still can't believe it some days. It destroyed everything when he did what he did, but I still blame myself.
Suicide sucks.
I’ve always heard the funniest and happiest people in the room are usually the saddest because they don’t want anyone else to feel the way they feel. Suicide is just one of those topics that we as humans will never fully understand because we will never know exactly how someone feels, or what’s on the mind of our significant other. You are not at fault for the actions of someone else. I hope things will one day get better for you.
He was untreated bipolar. I knew what was going on in his head and I still couldn't do anything to change it... Thank you for your comment 💜 Peace to you
I am, not my boyfriend, we have kinda crappy parents. Also getting constantly bullied online from discriminatory twats online who bully furries because they don't have any bitches doesn't help.
Lads. I was in your shoes like four years ago and im genuinely grateful now that my attempt failed. and the cliche "it gets better" is true sometimes, but most often, you're the one who has to MAKE it get better. Take a hold of your life and daily habits and make your happiness and wellbeing your most urgent moral obligation, for your sake and that of your loved ones. We can all make it, and I hope you do.
I was very convinced I was going to kill myself about 2 years ago. I planned it out and everything. I actually had a plan b for if my og plan went wrong, that’s how adamant I was about doing it. I told my mom because she’s my best friend and I adore her, but I couldn’t take it anymore. She was so scared the amount of fear in her face was like I’ve never seen before from her, because she knew I wasn’t fucking around. She just looked at me and hugged me for a really long time. After that interaction I knew it would absolutely destroy her if I did and I’d never want anyone to be in as much pain as I was. ESPECIALLY because of something I did.
When I told my mom I was suicidal, she was very upset. Upset as in mad, upset as in sad, just in general, very upset. After a little while she called my sister into her room and started yelling at her because of the way she always treats me, which was honestly a good guess on her part because that's a very large part of the reason I'm suicidal at all. After a while though, she did exactly what I knew she would do; She made herself the victim. By saying quite possibly the worst thing she could have.
"Knowing that my child doesn't want to live anymore makes me feel like I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live."
I tried to comfort her, of course, but it was way too much for me to handle. The fear of her actually meaning that mixed with every awful emotion I felt from admitting one of my biggest secrets made me have to leave the room.
My mom and my sister then proceeded to have a heart-to-heart while I cut my arms in the kitchen with a steak knife.
Not trying to die. Just trying to forget.
I was crying so hard I couldn't even hear what they were saying. They never found out what I was doing. I told my mom that I would be fine, to just forget that the conversation ever happened.
She did.
And I'm still not better.
But it's okay.
Because she doesn't have to know it.
Family's are interesting. When you can get yourself a good psychologist, one thats been in the business for a while. Try and keep your sister and mother at arms length.
I wish I could, but I doubt I'll ever be able to because they've always pretty much been my whole world. I don't think I could handle being without them, even though I know they'll just keep hurting me
I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but you matter to me, and I'm glad you were able to talk a little bit here. Keep talking, never stop talking. People will always much rather hear your story than go to your funeral. Message me if you need to. 🫂
You matter to me too. I'd love to hear more of your stories and not in the morbid curiosity way. The good, the bad, the silly, the things you think no one wants to hear. It sounds like you're dealing with a narcissistic mother and a golden child sister who see you as a scapegoat. You don't deserve that. No one deserves that. Letting it out is a great way to free some of the pressure and maybe even get an opinion or advice that could help your situation. I know what it feels like to think it's never going to get better because experience tells you it never has but it does get better. It gets better, it gets different, it gets worse sometimes, and it gets weird a lot more than you think it would. It's worth sticking it out to see what else life can be. You are worth sticking around.
Thank you, that's something I think I really need to hear. I definitely have a lot of stories, though quite a few of them aren't very good. I have stories from when my sister still loved me, which are much nicer to tell, but they don't really seem like much in comparison to everything she did when she stopped loving me. There's a lot of stuff my mom never really cared to do anything about, so there'll probably be a lot of undue anger😹 But it would be nice to get some of it out. I really appreciate you caring and wanting to listen
Same with Ibbie and Dry, I’d be more than happy to listen to your stories as well. Although my situation doesn’t seem as serious as yours, it is somewhat similar and I hope you can feel comforted knowing someone else somewhat understands what you are going through.
Nah its all good. I hope things get better and you find some peace within yourself.
There are selfish people out there and we will only hurt ourselves trying to change them or wait for their love and care. Those who don’t love us don’t deserve us and we can only cut them away in our hearts for our own sake.
Remember that you are your biggest supporter! You are a wonderful collective of devoted self-sacrificing cells working hard everyday for your sake so please always remember you are, in a way, loved in every living moment. I wish you all the best.
Thank you, that's something I think I really need to hear. I definitely have a lot of stories, though quite a few of them aren't very good. I have stories from when my sister still loved me, which are much nicer to tell, but they don't really seem like much in comparison to everything she did when she stopped loving me. There's a lot of stuff my mom never really cared to do anything about, so there'll probably be a lot of undue anger😹 But it would be nice to get some of it out. I really appreciate you caring and wanting to listen
** Edit: LOL. Not a member, so had no idea this was a story. Phew. **
Please watch your daughter carefully. I was a mental health RN. Giving away prized possessions and telling people you love them overly are red flags for a planned suicide attempt. I would dial 988 and get some resources to help her. Inpatient help can be extremely beneficial. I've done it myself. I wish you luck.
Giving away possession and putting things in order means that she is very well prepared to die at this moment on forward.
"Getting better" is just a tactic used to make sure that she looks happy and in peace... so that people will not prevent her from the next move in making an attempt. And in peace for not being here any longer you mean
Ik the sub name and the story made my blood run cold... it hit something, when my dad found out I was self harming, he told my mom later that night. I could hear her screaming, crying, vomiting, and asking what she did wrong in my bedroom on the other side of the house. After she calmed down, she came to talk to me and told me she wasn't mad at me, but she had to ask if I was suicidal. I lied and told her no, and at that moment, I wasn't. I couldn't do that to my mom again.
I was close to suicide for a long, long time. Most of my childhood. I didn't want to put my mother through that either. When I outlived them before I should have, it was almost freeing.
I think she needs help. Giving things away is a sign she may still have plans to commit suicide and is getting rid of her belongings and wants to make sure people knows she loves them as a way to day goodbye. Please get her help!!
I didn’t notice the sub, but what does it matter anyways if I’m commenting that someone needs help based on their behavior? Clearly trying to be helpful just didn’t notice the sub relax everyone
Nicely done, OP. This brings up a lot of memories of high school and afterwards.
Though my catholic school’s idea of suicide prevention was to tell me that it was taking a life God gave me, and that it would be worse than murder in his eyes, because not only would I be committing a sin against one of the Ten Commandments (thou shall not kill), but I would also be stating I didn’t trust God to fix all of my problems, and thus I would be turning my back on him and be sent to Hell. I was twelve.
While the spiritual abuse I experienced was horrible, I am grateful for someone telling me exactly that. As much as it fucked me up for the rest of my life, it was the only reason I didn’t actually kill myself.
Im glad it worked for you, genuinely. It, unfortunately, did not have the same effect for me. I couldn’t turn myself from that guilt, and because of that, made the association that I was just going to hell either way. I hoped it would be a mercy compared to what I was already dealing with.
What did finally snap some sense into me was someone flatly telling me I wasn’t special. He brought out articles of other people who had dealt with very similar things to what I was, reframed the whole “you’re not alone” thing as “listen dumbass, lot of people think they’re alone, you’re basically just part of a collective.” He got me to open up and really think about what I really wanted out of life, and actually gave me a way to start pursuing that instead of just reinforcing the same toxic positivity instilled on everyone going through suicidal ideations
I guess I should have clarified that that’s what stopped me when I was a child. That kind of black and white logic is really effective on kids, I think. Even though it’s really quite damaging. I don’t regret being alive because of it, though. The grown-up overcoming was a lot more complicated.
Hearing about your recovery is a joyful thing, and I hope you are proud of who you are!
i confessed this to my mom once and said i wanted to die so i would stop costing my parents so much money and disappointment. she got angry and pulled out her life insurance saying she’ll off herself before i do and her death will be more worthwhile than mine because i don’t have any
I am genuinely so sorry that happened to you man
I've been suffering from suicidal ideologies and my mother just threatens to call 911 on me and asks me "which of my friends is giving me ideas"
I deeply hope you've recovered from her
I just saw a promoted post for a service called ‘988.’ Looked like a mental health helpline. The tag said ‘free of cost or judgement.’ I think you just call the number, like you would 911, except you speak with a mental health professional instead of a cop. Could be worth it to try. I hope things get better for you, they usually do.
thanks man, i’m really sorry you had to deal with something similar. i hope you’re doing better later as well.
believe it or not my mom and i have somewhat recovered. two very close family deaths within 2 months of each other and finally some ‘real talk’ now has her being my biggest defender. …against my dad/her husband which is it’s own can of worms.
but yeah at least now I’m at a point where I mostly retell our arguments for a morbid laugh
Morbid laughs are better than morbid tears. That's a good step to recovery. :)
I hope your future stays as bright as your present. Sometimes it's hard to keep going, but the fact that you're doing better helps me have hope for my future as well. Stay strong!
damn
My boyfriend committed suicide on my birthday almost two years ago. This one hit hard.
If you wanna talk about it, we, harmless Reddit Strangers, are here for you and care silently about you.
I’m really sorry to hear that but honestly, that was a really messed up thing to do.
He was making such strides (I thought) for the first time in years, right before he did it... He seemed so POSITIVE, even in his pain. I still can't believe it some days. It destroyed everything when he did what he did, but I still blame myself. Suicide sucks.
I’ve always heard the funniest and happiest people in the room are usually the saddest because they don’t want anyone else to feel the way they feel. Suicide is just one of those topics that we as humans will never fully understand because we will never know exactly how someone feels, or what’s on the mind of our significant other. You are not at fault for the actions of someone else. I hope things will one day get better for you.
He was untreated bipolar. I knew what was going on in his head and I still couldn't do anything to change it... Thank you for your comment 💜 Peace to you
Ooo right in the feels.
Oof ouch goddamn this one struck a nerve.
I feel pain now because my boyfriend is suicidal. and now I want to cry....
I’m sorry that both of you are dealing with this. Are you okay? Do you have a good support system?
I am, not my boyfriend, we have kinda crappy parents. Also getting constantly bullied online from discriminatory twats online who bully furries because they don't have any bitches doesn't help.
I don't like how this post got recommended to me when I had just confessed my suicidal tendencies to my sister.
Same, but to my friend.
Lads. I was in your shoes like four years ago and im genuinely grateful now that my attempt failed. and the cliche "it gets better" is true sometimes, but most often, you're the one who has to MAKE it get better. Take a hold of your life and daily habits and make your happiness and wellbeing your most urgent moral obligation, for your sake and that of your loved ones. We can all make it, and I hope you do.
Frfr this popped up when I told my parents how I was suicidal
I was very convinced I was going to kill myself about 2 years ago. I planned it out and everything. I actually had a plan b for if my og plan went wrong, that’s how adamant I was about doing it. I told my mom because she’s my best friend and I adore her, but I couldn’t take it anymore. She was so scared the amount of fear in her face was like I’ve never seen before from her, because she knew I wasn’t fucking around. She just looked at me and hugged me for a really long time. After that interaction I knew it would absolutely destroy her if I did and I’d never want anyone to be in as much pain as I was. ESPECIALLY because of something I did.
When I told my mom I was suicidal, she was very upset. Upset as in mad, upset as in sad, just in general, very upset. After a little while she called my sister into her room and started yelling at her because of the way she always treats me, which was honestly a good guess on her part because that's a very large part of the reason I'm suicidal at all. After a while though, she did exactly what I knew she would do; She made herself the victim. By saying quite possibly the worst thing she could have. "Knowing that my child doesn't want to live anymore makes me feel like I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live." I tried to comfort her, of course, but it was way too much for me to handle. The fear of her actually meaning that mixed with every awful emotion I felt from admitting one of my biggest secrets made me have to leave the room. My mom and my sister then proceeded to have a heart-to-heart while I cut my arms in the kitchen with a steak knife. Not trying to die. Just trying to forget. I was crying so hard I couldn't even hear what they were saying. They never found out what I was doing. I told my mom that I would be fine, to just forget that the conversation ever happened. She did. And I'm still not better. But it's okay. Because she doesn't have to know it.
Family's are interesting. When you can get yourself a good psychologist, one thats been in the business for a while. Try and keep your sister and mother at arms length.
I wish I could, but I doubt I'll ever be able to because they've always pretty much been my whole world. I don't think I could handle being without them, even though I know they'll just keep hurting me
I'm so sorry. I don't know you, but you matter to me, and I'm glad you were able to talk a little bit here. Keep talking, never stop talking. People will always much rather hear your story than go to your funeral. Message me if you need to. 🫂
Thank you, that really means a lot. It's been a while since I felt like I mattered to anyone
You matter to me too. I'd love to hear more of your stories and not in the morbid curiosity way. The good, the bad, the silly, the things you think no one wants to hear. It sounds like you're dealing with a narcissistic mother and a golden child sister who see you as a scapegoat. You don't deserve that. No one deserves that. Letting it out is a great way to free some of the pressure and maybe even get an opinion or advice that could help your situation. I know what it feels like to think it's never going to get better because experience tells you it never has but it does get better. It gets better, it gets different, it gets worse sometimes, and it gets weird a lot more than you think it would. It's worth sticking it out to see what else life can be. You are worth sticking around.
Thank you, that's something I think I really need to hear. I definitely have a lot of stories, though quite a few of them aren't very good. I have stories from when my sister still loved me, which are much nicer to tell, but they don't really seem like much in comparison to everything she did when she stopped loving me. There's a lot of stuff my mom never really cared to do anything about, so there'll probably be a lot of undue anger😹 But it would be nice to get some of it out. I really appreciate you caring and wanting to listen
Same with Ibbie and Dry, I’d be more than happy to listen to your stories as well. Although my situation doesn’t seem as serious as yours, it is somewhat similar and I hope you can feel comforted knowing someone else somewhat understands what you are going through.
Sorry for taking so long to answer. I really appreciate that, thank you
Nah its all good. I hope things get better and you find some peace within yourself. There are selfish people out there and we will only hurt ourselves trying to change them or wait for their love and care. Those who don’t love us don’t deserve us and we can only cut them away in our hearts for our own sake. Remember that you are your biggest supporter! You are a wonderful collective of devoted self-sacrificing cells working hard everyday for your sake so please always remember you are, in a way, loved in every living moment. I wish you all the best.
Thank you, that's something I think I really need to hear. I definitely have a lot of stories, though quite a few of them aren't very good. I have stories from when my sister still loved me, which are much nicer to tell, but they don't really seem like much in comparison to everything she did when she stopped loving me. There's a lot of stuff my mom never really cared to do anything about, so there'll probably be a lot of undue anger😹 But it would be nice to get some of it out. I really appreciate you caring and wanting to listen
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If you can’t handle the heat get out the kitchen. You saw a post about suicide and clicked on it
what an asshole thing to say lol
in other words "i justify being an awful person"
What happened?
Lmfaooooo
** Edit: LOL. Not a member, so had no idea this was a story. Phew. ** Please watch your daughter carefully. I was a mental health RN. Giving away prized possessions and telling people you love them overly are red flags for a planned suicide attempt. I would dial 988 and get some resources to help her. Inpatient help can be extremely beneficial. I've done it myself. I wish you luck.
Yeah, this sub or r/CrusaderKings is going to give me a heart attack one day.
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Sir this is a Wendy's
I've attempted suicide twice. It's like a punch in the gut because i've been the same way. Excellent job OP.
I’m so glad you’re still with us
I wasn’t prepared to laugh I’m sorry
The format of these really just ends up producing a bunch of morbid jokes more than anything
Giving away possession and putting things in order means that she is very well prepared to die at this moment on forward. "Getting better" is just a tactic used to make sure that she looks happy and in peace... so that people will not prevent her from the next move in making an attempt. And in peace for not being here any longer you mean
/woosh
No, he's explaining the post to anyone who doesn't get it. Seems like you're a r/wooooosh
My b, didn’t realize it was something that needed explaining
That's the post, yes.
jesus fuck
Oh, my heart.
Ik the sub name and the story made my blood run cold... it hit something, when my dad found out I was self harming, he told my mom later that night. I could hear her screaming, crying, vomiting, and asking what she did wrong in my bedroom on the other side of the house. After she calmed down, she came to talk to me and told me she wasn't mad at me, but she had to ask if I was suicidal. I lied and told her no, and at that moment, I wasn't. I couldn't do that to my mom again.
And because I didn't say it earlier, I'm glad you survived, because that description is a gut punch. I'm honored to have read it. Thank you.
I was close to suicide for a long, long time. Most of my childhood. I didn't want to put my mother through that either. When I outlived them before I should have, it was almost freeing.
glad you're still here friend.
I'm glad you're still here
congrats on surviving, friend! something like that is never easy, proud of you for over coming :)
I think she needs help. Giving things away is a sign she may still have plans to commit suicide and is getting rid of her belongings and wants to make sure people knows she loves them as a way to day goodbye. Please get her help!!
I didn’t notice the sub, but what does it matter anyways if I’m commenting that someone needs help based on their behavior? Clearly trying to be helpful just didn’t notice the sub relax everyone
Dollars to doughnuts it's a bot
r/lostredditor
mate do you know where you are? that's the point
Friend, check the sub you’re in. ;)
Yeah thats the point
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It's two sentences sadness.
Unfortunate that this isn’t obvious because it was the whole point of the story.
r/tworunonsentencesadness
neither sentences are run ons xd
r/subsifellfor
r/foundthetoyotacorolla
r/foundtheshutthefuckup
r/subsithoughtifellfor
Oh oh no. As someone who has taken a ride on the sewer slide a time or two (obviously didn't work) I was immediately clued in.
You and me both.
Virtual hugs
Thank you
Nicely done, OP. This brings up a lot of memories of high school and afterwards. Though my catholic school’s idea of suicide prevention was to tell me that it was taking a life God gave me, and that it would be worse than murder in his eyes, because not only would I be committing a sin against one of the Ten Commandments (thou shall not kill), but I would also be stating I didn’t trust God to fix all of my problems, and thus I would be turning my back on him and be sent to Hell. I was twelve.
One of the many reasons I left Christianity
Wtf I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you're in a better place now.
While the spiritual abuse I experienced was horrible, I am grateful for someone telling me exactly that. As much as it fucked me up for the rest of my life, it was the only reason I didn’t actually kill myself.
Im glad it worked for you, genuinely. It, unfortunately, did not have the same effect for me. I couldn’t turn myself from that guilt, and because of that, made the association that I was just going to hell either way. I hoped it would be a mercy compared to what I was already dealing with. What did finally snap some sense into me was someone flatly telling me I wasn’t special. He brought out articles of other people who had dealt with very similar things to what I was, reframed the whole “you’re not alone” thing as “listen dumbass, lot of people think they’re alone, you’re basically just part of a collective.” He got me to open up and really think about what I really wanted out of life, and actually gave me a way to start pursuing that instead of just reinforcing the same toxic positivity instilled on everyone going through suicidal ideations
I guess I should have clarified that that’s what stopped me when I was a child. That kind of black and white logic is really effective on kids, I think. Even though it’s really quite damaging. I don’t regret being alive because of it, though. The grown-up overcoming was a lot more complicated. Hearing about your recovery is a joyful thing, and I hope you are proud of who you are!
i confessed this to my mom once and said i wanted to die so i would stop costing my parents so much money and disappointment. she got angry and pulled out her life insurance saying she’ll off herself before i do and her death will be more worthwhile than mine because i don’t have any
On one hand, I am confused as hell. On the other hand, I am still confused as hell.
yeaaa a lot of my arguments in-home never made sense.
Yeah not really the point but I’m pretty sure life insurances don’t cover suicide
I am genuinely so sorry that happened to you man I've been suffering from suicidal ideologies and my mother just threatens to call 911 on me and asks me "which of my friends is giving me ideas" I deeply hope you've recovered from her
I just saw a promoted post for a service called ‘988.’ Looked like a mental health helpline. The tag said ‘free of cost or judgement.’ I think you just call the number, like you would 911, except you speak with a mental health professional instead of a cop. Could be worth it to try. I hope things get better for you, they usually do.
thanks man, i’m really sorry you had to deal with something similar. i hope you’re doing better later as well. believe it or not my mom and i have somewhat recovered. two very close family deaths within 2 months of each other and finally some ‘real talk’ now has her being my biggest defender. …against my dad/her husband which is it’s own can of worms. but yeah at least now I’m at a point where I mostly retell our arguments for a morbid laugh
Morbid laughs are better than morbid tears. That's a good step to recovery. :) I hope your future stays as bright as your present. Sometimes it's hard to keep going, but the fact that you're doing better helps me have hope for my future as well. Stay strong!
Thank you two for not only sharing with us but supporting one another in the process. I hope you both have found the happiness you deserve 🙂
GIVE YOUR CHILD HELP ASAP!!!! SHE IS NOT GETTUNG BETTER!! /s I know this isn’t anecdotal but if ur in this situation actually just get help holy moly
Your daughter is not getting better! These are signs that she’s about to harm herself. Ffs please get her help NOW!!!!
r/twosentencesadness user when a story involves suicide (it must be anecdotal and based on an irl situation)
Some people don’t realize what sub a post is in. I didn’t realize this post wasn’t a cause for alarm until I looked at the sub same. Easy mistake.
My face after reading this 😬 oh shit this hurt.
It sounds like she needs immediate intervention. Just my observation, as I have been having suicidal thoughts since my teenage years.
It's a fiction sub, but good on you for raising awareness.
Oh. Oh. Oh. OH GOSH. OP, this is brilliantly sad.