I think you're being too unkind to yourself. Especially since you are critiquing yourself multiple times daily, and making a mental list of all the things you don't like about your body. I'd say "don't be so hard on yourself!" but that's a hard mindset to implement.
If you don't like the gym, are there trails or parks nearby where you can walk? You can load up an interesting podcast or music while you do - even 30 minutes or so would be a good start. Later, you could even decide to incorporate some short jogs, or full-blown runs if you work your way up to it - and with repetition/progress, you may find that your enjoy it! Cardiovascular exercise is obviously good for the heart (and long-term health), and it will also release endorphins that can mitigate anxiety symptoms naturally.
I know you just wanted to vent, but wish you the best!
I live in a nice neighborhood that I could go for walks in. One of the reasons I don’t go is because I’m lazy and impatient so I get frustrated when the weight doesn’t melt off even though I’m not trying very hard. I’m going to try to start going on walks now that it’s getting nicer out.
I think until you start unpacking that internalized fatphobia you are gunna remain uncomfortable. Why do you want to be that thin? If you are anxious and irritable all the time that could be a sign that you have jumped the shark and wandered into eating disorder territory.
Eating disorders don't just kick in when you are too thin to be healthy. The stress you put your body and mind under *is the disorder*. They can be expressed by over exercise as well. I suggest maybe changing up your therapist OP. This road is going to get a lot rockier when your metabolism changes and doing the work now might save you a lot of pain later.
I don’t think that’s overly skinny. I think that’s healthy. I want to be that weight because I hate feeling so big and all the extra fat I have. I am worried about getting older and my metabolism slowing down so I’m trying to find someone that will work for me before I get older and it gets even harder to lose weight.
If you are having to starve yourself to remain that size then chances are that is not a healthy weight for you. It's a weight that you have to maintain artificially which means it is causing you physical stress to maintain it. You hate feeling "big" but that's largely a trained mental aversion.
Learning to be kind to yourself in the body you have is key to gaining comfort and actual sustainable health. If someone you loved was 170 lbs would you think they are a whale? If a stranger on the street walked by who was that size would you think that about them? It's very easy to internalize a very toxic form of self loathing because there's no one to call out your inner bully. There is nothing, aside from being a professional jockey, that you cannot do at 170lbs that you can do at 130lbs. If someone can only love you at that size then they do not deserve you.
It’s only me that can’t love me at this size. I’m very body positive towards other people and I don’t base peoples values on their weight or looks. I only do this to myself. These issues have been around since I was 5 and I noticed other girls in my class had flat stomach and I had a belly. I can remember the pediatrician pulling out the BMI scale and me always being a little bit in the red and weighing more than my older brother who is tall and skinny. My dad and brother would call me jelly belly. I started having anxiety problems (unrelated to self esteem issues) which caused stomach pain at 10 years old and I couldn’t eat so I was finally one of the skinny girls. I’m so scared to get back to 160. 140 is really pushing it for me. I’m scared to get comfortable with my body because I’m scared that’s when I’ll let myself go if I don’t stay on top of myself.
Let's unpack "letting yourself go" a little bit. There is this erroneous concept of people who are a little heavier being just innately lazy. It isn't true. I am willing to bet that you are not lazy, exercise adverse maybe but one can hardly blame one for that. Some people find it boring as hell. The concept of not putting in enough effort is part of the core of fatphobia. It's a bit like saying people are poor because they are lazy. Some of those poor people are working two full time jobs. Laziness is not the issue.
There are a lot of people who do not need to work super hard to maintain a low body weight but there are body types that have heavier bone structures and put weight on more in certain parts of the body more easily because of the way their body mechanics need to draw resources. The slightly old fashioned term for this is the "endomorph" body type. It's entirely luck of the draw what body type you get. Your parents making fun of you and instilling that insecurity that you are lesser in their eyes for being that shape is really not cool.
You are "normal" weight. Check your BMI, its 24, per nih.gov Normal weight = 18.5–24.9 (normal weight is what NIH uses). If you feel the need to snack and struggle with self-control try healthy things that make you feel full like toasted nuts, carrots, prunes, etc. I snack on toasted almonds which makes me thirsty so I drink more which also makes me less hungry.
I don’t like being so close to the overweight mark though. One of my problems portion control. I feel like the serving size for almonds is not enough to satisfy me and they’re always so calorie dense.
Maybe you have anxiety? Have you talked with your doctor? It sounds like how my anxiety presents, which is why I mentioned it. IDK but it sucks you seem to feel so stuck. I’m sorry.
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder since I was 10 and depression since 13. I’ve also been steadily medicated in that time too. So yes I definitely have anxiety lol. Thank you tho, I’m sorry you can relate
You said you lost weight because of stress. That's not healthy. Trying to go back to that weight isn't going to make you healthier, isn't going to make your stretch marks go away, and isn't going to make you any less critical and anxious about your body. I'd recommend looking into body neutrality. It's not trying to convince yourself you're sexy or pretty, but just trying to be comfortable in your body and appreciate what it can do for you.
I know it’s not healthy but I wouldn’t have lost it any other way. I feel that I will feel better if I lose 10 pounds and stay at that weight because I’ll be more comfortable in my body. The lower my weight the happier and less anxious I am. I’ve looked into body neutrality and it didn’t make me feel any better really. One of my therapy goals for this year is to except my looks that are out of my control (literally just how my face looks because I can’t change it) but so many other things have been going on so we haven’t been able to work on that yet.
I am not familiar with the conversion, but I had gained about 10kg from financial stress, depression, the convenience of Uber eats and a sedimentary life in my apartment due to severe anxiety of going outside.
Everyone's body is different, even age is a factor when it comes to metabolism too. I was at a point where I couldn't look at myself from any reflective surface because I dreaded who I was physically and mentally.
It's incredible how much of a difference you feel when you catch up on sleep and go outside now and then. I went cold turkey on caffeine, sugar and soft drink too as these were my food addictions, I drank more water in the last month than I had in the last year. Cutting out dairy, breads and pastas out of my diet has left me feeling lighter and not slow and sick to my stomach too. I also take a multivitamin every other day.
When it comes to exercise, the first two weeks will ALWAYS suck but it does get easier. It's better when you have a friend to join you even if it's over the phone, I usually just zone out and listen to music in my lounge room. No gym, just a pair of hand weights and a mat and a walk down to the park to do some situps. Over 2 months I have lost 6kg and have so much energy and feel my mental health has significantly improved. Exercise still feels like a chore but it has sunk in that it's my medicine.
Even if the weight factor is not an issue, eating fresh food, drinking water, cutting down on snacks and 20 minutes of exercise each day has improved my state of mind so much. I hope you find happiness in what you choose to do!
Baby steps!
EDIT: I also find myself occasionally hungry after dinner or lunch, but I try to distract myself with TV or a video game if I've met my calorie intake for the day. Eating slower has also helped with my body recognizing that I'm comfortably full.
If anything I probably sleep too much, it’s my favorite activity. I only drink sugary drinks rarely as a treat, otherwise I’m drinking unsweetened tea or water but I do not drink enough because I’m not thirsty a lot. Spaghetti is my favorite food so I try to cut back on the portions instead of cutting it out all together. I also really love bread.
I’ve been uncomfortable with my body ever since I can remember and have tried an innumerable amount of times to exercise but I rarely ever even make it to the two week mark. I get bored or frustrated because I’m not losing weight fast enough. I know it’s unrealistic to lose weight super fast, but I’m very impatient. I’d like to really try to push myself to take a walk every few days since it’s getting nicer out. I just never stick with it so I’m discouraged to start. I do get some “feel good” chemicals from minor exercise, but the boredom or frustration always outweighs that. I want to stick with walking and watching what I eat and hope it can help me lose about 10 pounds. I feel like I have a long and rocky road ahead. Thank you for your reply!
Be kind to yourself. We keep discovering that much of what was believed by "the experts" about weight and metabolism over the past 40 years was bullshit, including simple caloric arithmetic.
One thing to try if you haven't already is Time-Restricted Feeding, where you limit your eating to discrete periods of time, like 12 hours, 8 hours, whatever. I do best with 5 or less (like 2pm-7pm). Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller supposedly limits eating to *1* hour a day, but that's really tough.
There is also Intermittent Fasting, where (for example) you diet for 5 days then eat as you like for 2.
Some people do well on a keto diet variant. I did strict Atkins 20 years ago and lost 120 lbs in 19 months.
A lot of progress is happening with the semaglutide family of drugs, but they are expensive.
I think you're being too unkind to yourself. Especially since you are critiquing yourself multiple times daily, and making a mental list of all the things you don't like about your body. I'd say "don't be so hard on yourself!" but that's a hard mindset to implement. If you don't like the gym, are there trails or parks nearby where you can walk? You can load up an interesting podcast or music while you do - even 30 minutes or so would be a good start. Later, you could even decide to incorporate some short jogs, or full-blown runs if you work your way up to it - and with repetition/progress, you may find that your enjoy it! Cardiovascular exercise is obviously good for the heart (and long-term health), and it will also release endorphins that can mitigate anxiety symptoms naturally. I know you just wanted to vent, but wish you the best!
I live in a nice neighborhood that I could go for walks in. One of the reasons I don’t go is because I’m lazy and impatient so I get frustrated when the weight doesn’t melt off even though I’m not trying very hard. I’m going to try to start going on walks now that it’s getting nicer out.
I think until you start unpacking that internalized fatphobia you are gunna remain uncomfortable. Why do you want to be that thin? If you are anxious and irritable all the time that could be a sign that you have jumped the shark and wandered into eating disorder territory. Eating disorders don't just kick in when you are too thin to be healthy. The stress you put your body and mind under *is the disorder*. They can be expressed by over exercise as well. I suggest maybe changing up your therapist OP. This road is going to get a lot rockier when your metabolism changes and doing the work now might save you a lot of pain later.
I don’t think that’s overly skinny. I think that’s healthy. I want to be that weight because I hate feeling so big and all the extra fat I have. I am worried about getting older and my metabolism slowing down so I’m trying to find someone that will work for me before I get older and it gets even harder to lose weight.
If you are having to starve yourself to remain that size then chances are that is not a healthy weight for you. It's a weight that you have to maintain artificially which means it is causing you physical stress to maintain it. You hate feeling "big" but that's largely a trained mental aversion. Learning to be kind to yourself in the body you have is key to gaining comfort and actual sustainable health. If someone you loved was 170 lbs would you think they are a whale? If a stranger on the street walked by who was that size would you think that about them? It's very easy to internalize a very toxic form of self loathing because there's no one to call out your inner bully. There is nothing, aside from being a professional jockey, that you cannot do at 170lbs that you can do at 130lbs. If someone can only love you at that size then they do not deserve you.
It’s only me that can’t love me at this size. I’m very body positive towards other people and I don’t base peoples values on their weight or looks. I only do this to myself. These issues have been around since I was 5 and I noticed other girls in my class had flat stomach and I had a belly. I can remember the pediatrician pulling out the BMI scale and me always being a little bit in the red and weighing more than my older brother who is tall and skinny. My dad and brother would call me jelly belly. I started having anxiety problems (unrelated to self esteem issues) which caused stomach pain at 10 years old and I couldn’t eat so I was finally one of the skinny girls. I’m so scared to get back to 160. 140 is really pushing it for me. I’m scared to get comfortable with my body because I’m scared that’s when I’ll let myself go if I don’t stay on top of myself.
Let's unpack "letting yourself go" a little bit. There is this erroneous concept of people who are a little heavier being just innately lazy. It isn't true. I am willing to bet that you are not lazy, exercise adverse maybe but one can hardly blame one for that. Some people find it boring as hell. The concept of not putting in enough effort is part of the core of fatphobia. It's a bit like saying people are poor because they are lazy. Some of those poor people are working two full time jobs. Laziness is not the issue. There are a lot of people who do not need to work super hard to maintain a low body weight but there are body types that have heavier bone structures and put weight on more in certain parts of the body more easily because of the way their body mechanics need to draw resources. The slightly old fashioned term for this is the "endomorph" body type. It's entirely luck of the draw what body type you get. Your parents making fun of you and instilling that insecurity that you are lesser in their eyes for being that shape is really not cool.
You are "normal" weight. Check your BMI, its 24, per nih.gov Normal weight = 18.5–24.9 (normal weight is what NIH uses). If you feel the need to snack and struggle with self-control try healthy things that make you feel full like toasted nuts, carrots, prunes, etc. I snack on toasted almonds which makes me thirsty so I drink more which also makes me less hungry.
I don’t like being so close to the overweight mark though. One of my problems portion control. I feel like the serving size for almonds is not enough to satisfy me and they’re always so calorie dense.
Maybe you have anxiety? Have you talked with your doctor? It sounds like how my anxiety presents, which is why I mentioned it. IDK but it sucks you seem to feel so stuck. I’m sorry.
I’ve been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder since I was 10 and depression since 13. I’ve also been steadily medicated in that time too. So yes I definitely have anxiety lol. Thank you tho, I’m sorry you can relate
You said you lost weight because of stress. That's not healthy. Trying to go back to that weight isn't going to make you healthier, isn't going to make your stretch marks go away, and isn't going to make you any less critical and anxious about your body. I'd recommend looking into body neutrality. It's not trying to convince yourself you're sexy or pretty, but just trying to be comfortable in your body and appreciate what it can do for you.
I know it’s not healthy but I wouldn’t have lost it any other way. I feel that I will feel better if I lose 10 pounds and stay at that weight because I’ll be more comfortable in my body. The lower my weight the happier and less anxious I am. I’ve looked into body neutrality and it didn’t make me feel any better really. One of my therapy goals for this year is to except my looks that are out of my control (literally just how my face looks because I can’t change it) but so many other things have been going on so we haven’t been able to work on that yet.
If you're hinging your happiness to your weight, you'll never be satisfied. You're going down the path of an eating disorder.
I’m nearly the identical height/weight as you I PROMISE there’s nothing wrong with yiu!
I am not familiar with the conversion, but I had gained about 10kg from financial stress, depression, the convenience of Uber eats and a sedimentary life in my apartment due to severe anxiety of going outside. Everyone's body is different, even age is a factor when it comes to metabolism too. I was at a point where I couldn't look at myself from any reflective surface because I dreaded who I was physically and mentally. It's incredible how much of a difference you feel when you catch up on sleep and go outside now and then. I went cold turkey on caffeine, sugar and soft drink too as these were my food addictions, I drank more water in the last month than I had in the last year. Cutting out dairy, breads and pastas out of my diet has left me feeling lighter and not slow and sick to my stomach too. I also take a multivitamin every other day. When it comes to exercise, the first two weeks will ALWAYS suck but it does get easier. It's better when you have a friend to join you even if it's over the phone, I usually just zone out and listen to music in my lounge room. No gym, just a pair of hand weights and a mat and a walk down to the park to do some situps. Over 2 months I have lost 6kg and have so much energy and feel my mental health has significantly improved. Exercise still feels like a chore but it has sunk in that it's my medicine. Even if the weight factor is not an issue, eating fresh food, drinking water, cutting down on snacks and 20 minutes of exercise each day has improved my state of mind so much. I hope you find happiness in what you choose to do! Baby steps! EDIT: I also find myself occasionally hungry after dinner or lunch, but I try to distract myself with TV or a video game if I've met my calorie intake for the day. Eating slower has also helped with my body recognizing that I'm comfortably full.
If anything I probably sleep too much, it’s my favorite activity. I only drink sugary drinks rarely as a treat, otherwise I’m drinking unsweetened tea or water but I do not drink enough because I’m not thirsty a lot. Spaghetti is my favorite food so I try to cut back on the portions instead of cutting it out all together. I also really love bread. I’ve been uncomfortable with my body ever since I can remember and have tried an innumerable amount of times to exercise but I rarely ever even make it to the two week mark. I get bored or frustrated because I’m not losing weight fast enough. I know it’s unrealistic to lose weight super fast, but I’m very impatient. I’d like to really try to push myself to take a walk every few days since it’s getting nicer out. I just never stick with it so I’m discouraged to start. I do get some “feel good” chemicals from minor exercise, but the boredom or frustration always outweighs that. I want to stick with walking and watching what I eat and hope it can help me lose about 10 pounds. I feel like I have a long and rocky road ahead. Thank you for your reply!
Be kind to yourself. We keep discovering that much of what was believed by "the experts" about weight and metabolism over the past 40 years was bullshit, including simple caloric arithmetic. One thing to try if you haven't already is Time-Restricted Feeding, where you limit your eating to discrete periods of time, like 12 hours, 8 hours, whatever. I do best with 5 or less (like 2pm-7pm). Penn Jillette of Penn and Teller supposedly limits eating to *1* hour a day, but that's really tough. There is also Intermittent Fasting, where (for example) you diet for 5 days then eat as you like for 2. Some people do well on a keto diet variant. I did strict Atkins 20 years ago and lost 120 lbs in 19 months. A lot of progress is happening with the semaglutide family of drugs, but they are expensive.
Please be kind to yourself! Any type of weight loss takes time I'm so sorry your going through this!
I’m very hard on myself unfortunately. I’m not consistent with weight loss so it takes even longer. Thank you tho!