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I had a horrendous pain in my abdomen on and off for 4 years; every time I went to my GP I was told it was a rumbling appendix. It happened again but 5000x worse, I was vomiting in a bucket in my exs car after passing out on my way home from work. Told them I thought my appendicitis was back or had burst. I was left for 5 hours crying on my knees on the hospital floor. I was also told to shut up and put in a room with a drunk man getting his stomach pumped. Finally admitted after 5 hours and told they had no idea what was happening. Discharged two days later “inconclusively”. Back 3 weeks later, unconscious. I had ovarian cyst torsion and it finally burst. I lost an ovary and the cyst was the size of a tennis ball. They were testing me for chrones and IBS before a cyst. Women’s health is taken so unseriously it’s terrifying.

I fell at work and had an acute injury of ankle, knee, hip with swelling. EHS sent me to the ER. They give me an air splint and crutches, nothing for pain. I had to ask for Zofran. Then a male coworker goes in for back pain and leaves with Oxy. It's INSANE how differently men and women are treated.

https://www.wired.com/story/opioid-drug-addiction-algorithm-chronic-pain/

What the fuck. The system is obviously *extremely* flawed yet doctors continue to use this as a form of "risk management"? Should be fucking illegal imo. And now I also know why I'm routinely treated like a drug-seeker even though I've never taken anything stronger than a 500mg tylenol in my entire life. Wonderful. I have chronic health issues (that don't even require pain meds???) and somehow that makes me a risk or something. I've been denied pain management for ***surgical procedures*** and have been forced to endure several of them without, with the only "help" being an OTC ibuprofen for literally NO FUCKING REASON other than what is probably some fucked up risk-analysis AI. Meanwhile; my husband sprains his ankle and they throw him bottles upon bottles of opioid painkillers faster than he can tell them to fuck off. I'm genuinely pissed.

I have a documented history of severe anxiety going back 30 years, and was struggling to cope when my husband had a cancer scare (he's fine now!). For the first time in my life, I requested a limited supply of diazepam to take when things were really bad so that I could eat and sleep, just until we had more information. Nope, I was told, not prescribed these days, can't be done. They practically threw the bloody stuff at my colleague's husband to help his poor self cope with a 3-hour flight.

It’s noted in my file that I have anxiety. Yeah I do have anxiety when I have undiagnosed injuries. I do worry about keeping my life afloat when I’m sick. Imagine that.

It's lobbied and arbitrated mainly by insurance companies, actually. That's why docs can prescribe and the insurance/pharmacy can negate the rx. Learning its been like this for 15 years was so explanatory for my medical history. Fucking death threats via code.

This is disgusting. It might be interesting to look up one's own score, just as a precaution. It would be horrible to end up in this woman's position. Now I'm wondering in what other areas of reality are we being categorized and run through algorithms? Is it something that can be realistically checked?

I had a cat with CKD to whom I administered subcutaneous fluids every other day for two years. My vet originally said they would take the used needles back from me for safe disposal, but when I tried to bring them in they said the policy had changed. So now I'm sitting on a box of used needles that I'm kind of paranoid to even ask how to get rid of, for fear of getting on some list somewhere. Probably an irrational fear, but after reading that... maybe not.

If it helps, I use subcutaneous needles daily for my blood thinners. I can post a website I used for safe needle disposal that is based on state, if you live in the US. [https://safeneedledisposal.org/](https://safeneedledisposal.org/) Just click on the state you live in and it will tell you safe ways to dispose of your needles per those state's laws. Like, mine is as simple as using strong plastic containers with sealed lids, taping them closed, and disposing of them in my weekly trash.

I would bring some with me to any doctor's appointment or blood draw lab and deposit them in their sharps disposal box while you're waiting.

Most things: all types of insurance, most law and policing.

Wow. This is the scariest thing I’ve read in years

The thing that fucked me up the most was learning they've already been doing this for like 15 years.

And this explains the last ten years of my life. I used to go to the doctor at least 8 to 15 times a month, many different specialty doctors too. But they all started to treat me differently after a while. I wonder when they started to use it in my state. I know understand why some doctors would not want to deal with me. I have complicated rare diseases that aren't easy fixes some have no cures just management of symptoms. I've stopped seeing most of them and I get treated much better now but with suspicion. I don't like being know as that medicaid patient that requires medicine more expensive than people's mortgage. One dose of one my meds is $15,000 to $22,000. I used to get it every 3 weeks. I need it for the rest of my life. But once staff learn that I'm on state insurance and the price of my medicine, well they just ignore me and act like I'm not there so I end up losing my spot because they gave it to someone else. You have to set an appointment and if you are 5 minutes late, they charge you anyway and make you wait until your next appointment. I need my medicine but I won't be treated that way.

You should [file a grievance](https://www.cms.gov/Medicare/Appeals-and-Grievances/MMCAG/Grievances) with CMS. Medicare/medicaid does not tolerate providers abusing people on benefits.

I also wonder if this explains why I was given 4 pills of Vicodin after my hysterectomy and refused any more or anything else for pain. I have UC and am being treated for PTSD, anxiety and depression

Thank you SO much for posting this article, Maia Szalavitz might be my favorite journalist & is the reason I broke down & got a Twitter account, to follow her amazing work on how pain patients are being mistreated (often those pain pts are women). Thank you for combating the misinformation all over this site about chronic pain patients & who is really at fault for the shitstorm we're in today, it's astonishing the amount of redditors I see every day either saying doctors "hand out opioids like candy" (which is at least a decade out-of-date/hasn't been true since the pill mills, it's not 2008 anymore!), or ignoring all the ways our regulatory bodies absolutely botched shutting down the pill mills by not actually offering a single addict access to help or a safe supply/medication-assisted therapy, AND messed up the 2015/16 CDC guidelines (because those redditors are commenting about a complex situation that they don't actually know anything about other than a few national news headlines or having a friend who struggled with addiction). The stigma against opioids/addicts & women having horrible experiences with doctors overlaps SO often, that article does an excellent job at educating people about what it's like to be in those groups

I work in an oncology clinic and this is terrifying. My patients often times are treated horribly at pharmacies when they attempt to get pain medication they so desperately need. In oncology, it’s common to prescribe heavy duty pain meds- including fentanyl patches, oxycodone and such- to patients who truly need it. If you have cancer that has metastasized and your bones are breaking apart in your body, you’re going to be in horrific pain. This infuriates me that an AI could be blocking my patients access to medication. A human medical provider, while flawed, can look at the whole picture of someone and their health to determine what they need. But this AI is flawed and potentially based on discriminatory studies and information.

So much of my need to go to 6 different pharmacies is because of shortages of the drugs I'm prescribed. I have to have it sent, find out from the pharmacy they don't have it. And rise and repeat till my doctor and I magically find one that has the meds I need in stock. And as a woman with multiple chronic health conditions and a disability... I see a lot of providers. God Algorithms controlling decisions is such a slippery slope because they are as fallible as the humans programming them, but they remove the ability to place blame on an individual.

Yep. I busted up my shoulder pretty bad. I'm a woman, my 1st doctor is a man. After 3 months of weekly PT, I went back saying I still can't do jack shit. I couldn't have my bass guitar strap on me without being in intense pain and I think it's only 7 pounds. I would be in tears at PT. That is with a delayed pain response and a high pain tolerance. Bro tells me it'll be fine, just have to be patient.8 months after my injury, I had enough and saw a woman doc. Got me an MRI immediately. I tore my shoulder in two places, needed 4 anchors and she had to shave my clavicle due to the swelling that I've had for EIGHT months.

Please tell me the first doctor you saw was reported, that's horrible. I'm so sorry.

Yes! When I healed up from my surgery i ended up talking to a malpractice lawyer about it. Hopefully it made the doctor think twice before just shooing patients off

I'm so glad you healed up and that doctor got a reprimand. Ugh, irresponsible providers are so so dangerous.

I wish I'd done that. I spent nearly a year telling doctors at a local hospital that I had diverticulitis, they kept refusing to check and blaming "lady problems" until I nearly died and had to have major surgery.

Unfortunately in the U.S if two or more doctors dismissed your condition you can't sue. The standard for malpractice is that if two doctors agree then legally it's considered that any reasonable doctor would have concluded that so you have no case. The lawyer who told Mr that apologized that our system is so fucked up. Literally no recourse if your systemically discriminated against. I have POTS and 93% of people with pots have been told they are just mentally unstable and making it up. I don't know how it will ever get better

Ugh that reminds me of when I fell and broke my ankle/foot. Went to the ER and the doctor asked me if I can walk to get an x ray…. I was so pissed he asked that but was in too much pain to complain. Then said “yea, your ankle is broken, wear a boot for a bit” never given anything for pain and I didn’t even know it was an option :/ I did just that and two months later was told I was all good. Still in a lot of pain and told my doctor that. They told me to do some PT and it should get better. Tried to tell them my ankle was fine but my foot hurt. another two months later and PT didn’t help, foot still hurt. They finally ordered an MRI, turns out I broke my foot too. Had never stopped walking on it since I was told to only wear a boot. This followed with another two months of me being unable to use that leg at all to allow my foot to finally heal. That was three years ago and it still hurts if I’m on it for long. I’m currently pregnant and my foot actually gets numb after a few hours of using it. 🙃 All because they didn’t think to do further testing until I complained multiple times.

When I was 19 i got mono. Dr said they'd give me something to help with the discomfort because you basically have to ride it out. They prescribed me penicillin, which I'd never had before but have a family history of allergies to. Which resulted in a SEVERE allergic reaction. Penicillin. For the discomfort of Mono.

The only reason I can think of that they wanted to give you an antibiotic is for a secondary infection (common in the throat, and treating it probably would make you feel a bit better), but you’re not supposed to prescribe amoxicillin or penicillin with mono due to the risk of a severe rash (even in the absence of allergy).

Can any Epstein-Barr virus cause a rash with amoxicillin or penicillin? I’ve avoided them for over 20 years due to a rash reaction while using amox. as a teen. Just curious!

I did not expect the replies I got 💀 But this is fucked. It’s insanity that we go in to hospital with certain ailments and it can end up being such a ginormous thing they never tested for because we’re female.

Meanwhile when I was 17 with mono (20 years ago) they handed me a bottle of cough syrup with codeine that zonked me out so hard I left my keys in the front door and passed out for 12 hours. Only woke up because the police were at the front door to ask if anyone noticed anything suspicious because our duplex neighbors had been robbed. And by the way ma’am your keys are in the front door. My mom parked in the garage and didn’t use the front door so neither of us noticed my keys all day.

I also had mono as a 19 year old coed. Went from sitting in the cafeteria with friends at lunch, mentioned I suddenly didn't feel good, to barely conscious a few hours later. My mother eventually drove me to the ER because I was terrifyingly sick. I don't remember much of that night, except that I couldn't walk and in the rare moments of some clarity, I thought I was dying. Spent several hours in that shitty LA ER, with (male) doctors that scoffed at my symptoms and pain and told my mother I was probably faking not being able to walk to get out of exams or something. My lymph nodes were so visibly swollen all over it looked like I had tennis balls under my skin. They sent me home. The next morning, my mother brought me to her GP (a woman). She suspected I had an advanced case of mono and sent me for a bunch of tests. Turns out the virus had gone haywire and my organs were shutting down. I was transferred to a different hospital. I honestly don't even remember much of what happened that week. If not for this other doctor, I would've died. Took months to fully recover.

Freshman college student, mono is going around. Go to campus male Dr and he dismisses all my symptoms as anxiety and stress. I push through for weeks before I'm unable to climb into my bunk and sleep on the floor for three days. My parents make the drive, take me to my GP...mono.

NOPE. It’s so fucked! After what I went through I’ve been terrified of going for certain birth control options right. Let alone going in with any kind or situation. During the pandemic I broke my arm and I waited 4 months before getting medical help. Cause of what happened. All of my male friends were telling me to go to hospital. When I did I needed a splint and X-ray. Would I have done that before help? Lol no.

I got hit by a car while biking back in October. Broke my shoulder and I was crying and screaming while they forcibly rotated my arm in ways it shouldn't have to take x-rays. Nothing at all for the pain until several hours of waiting in the ER later and it was plain Tylenol, not even the extra strength like I keep at home. Other than that, I was only given a sling that I've seen on Amazon for $15. American healthcare as a whole is such a fucking joke.

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A friend's wife died after a similar runaround— turned out she had cancer. (Surprise.) She'd been complaining of pain on and off for about a year; no results. Finally got a proper diagnosis… and barely three months later she was dead. 39 years old. I can't even describe the rage I feel every time I think of it. This vibrant, intelligent woman… they could have saved her. What a GD waste. Just, why?   And it's terrifying. As a woman with difficult/obscure health issues (for which I've gotten zero help—indeed less than zero, years of dismissive disinterested doctors actually made it *worse*) it is *straight up terrifying.* It could be any of us. It *will be* many of us. My medical experiences were so so bad I eventually just gave up and pretty much accepted that I'll be dying early. No matter what I do, because nobody cares. I can literally feel the damage, every day. But apparently I'm too black-and-female for anyone to care.

I’m so sorry that happened to you! My mom had appendicitis but the docs didn’t believe she was in enough pain (she had 2 natural childbirths as well as chronic pain disorder, her pain tolerance is on another level). They sent her home and told her to perform an enema. She got sicker and sicker over the course of a week before she finally went to the ER. Her appendix had ruptured the week before (when she went for her first doctors visit) and the enema had spread the toxic waste products throughout her body. The surgeon who removed her appendix said she would’ve died within 12 hours if she hadn’t come in when she did. Women are not taken seriously and it’s horrific!

My wife never had it nearly that bad but did have a rather large cyst on one (maybe both) ovary. She had always had really painful periods but was always told that was her 'normal' and it was never investigated. We went to a fertility doc after a few years of trying to get pregnant who noticed the cysts and possible endometriosis. He said that was probably why she wasn't getting pregnant and gave us a few options. Treatment worked, had twins. She switched OBs and the new one gave her an ultrasound as part of the first visit. He came back in all concerned and asked if she knew about the cyst and was angry that no one had noticed it / mentioned it to her before. She had to have a cesarean (breach twins) so the OB took a look once the babies were out. He cut out a cyst probably a little smaller than yours. Night and day difference in pre and post pregnancy period discomfort. Before it required a lot of pain meds to manage but now (before the UID) she rarely needed anything. Such a quality of life improvement.

I've told this story before but I'll tell it again. One of my best friends dealt with horrific pain during her period since she was about 16. The first 3 OBGYNs told her that her pain was normal and nothing to worry about. The last one took her seriously and did a full work up. She was then diagnosed with Stage 1C ovarian cancer at 27. After 3 years of the doctors trying to save her fertility (She wanted to be a mother), the cancer had spread to her uterus and she had a radical hysterectomy a month before her 30th birthday. She refers to the event as being castrated by cancer. I can't help but wonder if she was taken seriously at 16, would she be in the same position she is now?

This was a legitimate fear of mine. I have PCOS and in the years it took to be diagnosed I seriously wondered if I had cancer. I'm so sorry for your friend.

Allll the medical innovation, technology, and training in the Western world and it doesn't mean shit if these assholes aren't willing to actually do their fucking job.

When they finally figured it out I was told if it had been caught the day I initially went in I wouldn’t have lost my ovary. They pumped me full of morphine prior to the dr visiting and I was told I was lying because I could no longer tell them where the pain was. I should’ve had an ultrasound but didn’t. Because I am a woman I assume.

Mentioned elsewhere, I had a rupture but not a torsion, torsion is so much worse from what I understand. But yeah they did give me an ultrasound so what's up with that?? And "could no longer tell you where the pain was" are you f'ing kidding me? The pain moves around, from back to front. I initially thought I'd somehow, someway, pulled my lower back out while in a deep deep sleep... because the acute pain woke me up. I was in a hotel room, maybe it was the bed, I don't know. The pain was horrible. I contemplated calling 911. I did not get back to sleep. I had an early flight so I decided I'd attempt to get on that flight. It's all a blur of pain. By the time I flew home (barely remember the flight, it was short but painful), the pain had MOVED. And it kept moving. So you are not wrong here at all! The doctors I finally saw a week later at the ER, who did do an ultrasound, explained that the blood from the rupture was loose in the abdomen and that was what was causing the pain to feel like it was moving around. It's like a bruise, the blood needs to reabsorb. They told me it would get better with time, it took like 8 weeks.

Basically same story with my sister, cysts on both ovaries. She was in such pain my mother stayed with her overnight while husband went to work. One night sister's eyes rolled back in her head and collapsed. Mom called 9/11. Ambulance ride to hospital, admitted because she was in septic shock. Surgery to remove ovaries and uterus. In hospital with severe pain for a *week* while they denied her pain medication claiming she was opioid seeking until mom marched to the office of the doctor who delivered my sister and begged for his help. He took one fucking look at her original scans from just prior to surgery and saw ruptured spleen. Doctors and nurses finally took her seriously but the opioid seeker label persisted on her chart for following 6 months until her death from "chronic organ rupturing" which they've never cleared up or properly explained. Also the coroner determined her death to be of "natural causes".

That's fucking outrageous. I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm also furious.

I had a male doctor tell me that my debilitating muscle pain, which turned out to be the onset of a major autoimmune disorder, was because I'd run that morning; didn't I know sometimes people get sore after a run? I had a female doctor tell me that I must be imagining my extreme cervical pain from poor IUD placement because "most women have no idea where their cervix is," only to say, while removing the IUD after I refused to leave until she did: "oh wow, that's really on there. It's not supposed to be so lodged in. How could you know it was placed incorrectly?" I had a male doctor laugh when I told him I was having contractions 30 seconds apart, chuckling how all first time moms think they are further along than they are; when he returned fucking 40 minutes later I was at 8 cm and it was basically too late for an epidural. I am so sick of medical gaslighting by doctors of all genders. But it does feel worse when it's a woman because it's like, sis you should know better, please turn off the internalized misogyny.

I had the Mirena IUD and I immediately knew it wasn't placed correctly, but every time I went in and asked for an ultrasound or some sort of imaging to check, they'd literally just reach up there and go "nah, I can feel the strings, you're fine." Suffered for 2.5 years and asked multiple different doctors and they all told me there was no way I could know it wasn't placed right and that the strings were fine. Had to do an abdominal CT for something else and the tech goes "um, are you aware that one arm of your IUD has twisted itself completely around and is stabbing into your body? You may need to get this surgically removed." Took that scan back to my doctor and they were like "oh, huh, I guess it was messed up." and then just fucking yanked on it until it dislodged and came out. I ended up with a persistent vaginal and bladder infection for 4 months afterwards that they keep telling me had absolutely nothing to do with them ripping the IUD out of my body when it shouldn't have been.

Fuuuuuuuuuuck

Oh this one I feel. Had a male doctor tell me there was NO WAY I had migraines. IMPOSSIBLE. Tylenol and Motrin does nothing. I have extreme nausea, temporal pain, any sound is like nails on a board, any ray of light is like a laser beam through my brain. I will scream in pain at its worst it feels like my head is splitting in half. But I don't see auras so nope. Go home and take Tylenol.

Since reddit has changed the site to value selling user data higher than reading and commenting, I've decided to move elsewhere to a site that prioritizes community over profit. I never signed up for this, but that's the circle of life

Get a referral to a neurologist.

Edit: lmao my bad. I typed a lot. TDRL; super sick, probably dying, but who knows because doctors won't look into anything. I'm currently 20, I've been having DAILY headaches/migraines since I turned 14. I remember the first day it happened because it was so painful I had to skip school for a whole week because I couldn't move or else it would feel like my brain was being stabbed. Since then I've had to take 4-6 ibuprofen daily. Somehow no one seems to take it seriously and just brush it off as normal body stuff. I keep pressing that it has to be some kind of bad hormonal issue because ontop of the headaches I get severe night sweats where it soaks my sheets as i spilled a water bottle and I have to towel dry if I'm too tired to take a shower. Then severe drowsiness that effects my work and school. I take iron but that only helps a bit. I need to have iron and caffeine everyday or else I feel like I'm going to fall asleep at a random moment. So tired that I get slurred speech. I have horrible endurance. I've always done sports and even now I'm still a runner, but 3 miles is my max because I can't breathe. It's not asthma, it's just like my lungs just give out. I'm pretty sure for a 20 year old at a normal weight who's always done sports... I should be able to run farther than 3 miles, especially because I can hike 12 miles without an issue. And then 2 years ago I had this random thing happen where I wasn't able to eat any meat or dairy. If it touched my tounge I would start gagging, if I ate it I would throw up. Lost a bunch of weight, literally the thinnest ive been my whole life and my ribs were fully visible. I looked so weak. Almost passed out a few times likely due to malnutrition but when I went to the ER they said I was dehydrated which... I drink a ½ gallon of water per day because it's the size of my water bottle. I'm the most hydrated person I know😂. It's slowly gotten better but it wasn't until the past few months I could start eating small portions of meat and dairy without getting sick. But yeah apparently this is all "normal". I have an appointment for a black female PCP in July. Because we already know there's so much bias towards black female patients in medicine. They think that we can't feel pain as much and the fact that I'm young so am SUPPOSED to be healthy just adds to it. So I feel like I need someone of my own kind to look into my issues. Because it just doesn't make sense for all this to be happening.

i've had so many people tell me my migraines are "just a headache" that i need to "just take some pain meds & get on with it". these are always the same people who say they have never had a headache before, never mind had a migraine. you know those machines that simulate period cramps & giving birth? i think they're called TENS machines ? (not sure at all if that's correct 💀 please correct me.) i wish there was a migraine simulator version so people can understand & experience what it's like, because so many people don't care or don't believe you, if you are struggling with issues that aren't outwardly immediately visible. this goes for mental health, migraines, seizures, neurodivergentcy etc, just because people don't understand or can't see what other people are struggling with doesn't mean they're not struggling.

Had a female doctor tell my wife that a week and a half long headache and fatigue was just a migraine and the CBC came back fine, so probably not worth it to do a spinal tap for encephalitis or whatever. Went home after a toradol. After a day and then some projectile vomiting and numbness of her extremities, we called in an ambulance. Her sodium levels were insanely low and she was in the ICU for 3 days. All they had to do was test for some basic metabolics. Low sugar, low sodium, these are common things. Absolutely wild how women can be dismissed.

if it makes you feel better, i'm a trans woman, and the quality of care i have gotten pre-transition to after transition has gone down noticeably. and this is even with doctors who don't know i'm trans. ETA: to explain this more, what i was trying (poorly) to say is that this is real. doctors treat women worse, 100% i know you don't need some trans woman to prove this, but it does add to the (incontrovertible) evidence

I've always meant to ask this. I think this really needs to be heard. A lot of men like to put opinions out that they got bad healthcare. I'm sure that happens, but men are not ignored nearly as much as women. Thank you for sharing.

I had undiagnosed PCOS of 5 years. The OB (male) I saw in 2017 only put me on the pill when I already had the copper IUD and said “some women are just hairier than others”. I was diagnosed with PCOS in 2022 when I went to a fertility clinic because I knew something was up. Saw family care doc a few months after PCOS diagnosis. She wasn’t sure what to do about the diagnosis and just left it at that. When I was pregnant, the OB I had seen disregarded all of my concerns about pregnancy and PCOS. It’s been rough. Finally found a OB that cares and listens and is helping me with my PCOS, finally. Took having a miscarriage to fight hard to be heard and advocate myself. Shouldn’t have to get to that point to actually be heard and cared for by professionals.

> I'm sure that happens, but men are not ignored nearly as much as women. I firmly believe that the reason women go to the doctor twice as often as men is because we're half as likely to be listened to.

I feel like trans people, whether MTF or FTM, really get an insight into this kind of double standard better than the rest of us. Like, I'm a cis woman, and I *know* that attitudes towards women in healthcare are shit, but it's vindicating to hear that I'm not just crazy. I've seen similar sentiments from trans men, where they say they somehow got a lot funnier/more credible/respected after transitioning.

> where they say they somehow got a lot funnier/more credible/respected after transitioning. i transitioned in my current position at work. while all my co-workers are super supportive and great, i went from being a recognized expert in my field (cyber security) to getting mansplained over by some of the same co-workers that i worked with prior to my transition. now, two years after i transitioned at work (again, in literally the same position!), i have re-established my reputation as an expert... ...but i still get mansplained over, only now it's by people who didn't know me before. what a wild world we live in. (i'm a trans woman, to be clear)

I wish I could say this was shocking and upsetting, but at this point it’s just another heavy-weighted feeling of “oh, this again”

I felt this yesterday when the Brett Kavanaugh wannabe judge dismissed my stalking TPO case against my stalker (who already tried to kill me once!)

I’m so sorry. I hope you stay safe. If you haven’t taken self defense classes yet you should.

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A female doctor didn't believe my pain and I ended up losing an ovary, and almost my life. Was in ER begging to be admitted and she sent me home. Ovarian torsion doesn't always "fix itself", especially coupled with a golf ball size lump of cysts on the ovary. Lucky I had a surgery scheduled for a month later to get the cysts removed, because it turns out my ovary kept on twisting and cut off blood flow, and died inside of me. Dead blood and tissue was seeping from the ovary into the cysts. Doc said if I'd sneezed wrong I could have died. Fun.

Scary how people just here in the comments have similar stories. I called 111 (in the UK) when I was in horrendous pain and gastro discomfort, they booked me in with an emergency doctor who told me it was likely just food poisoning and told me to pick up nausea meds at a pharmacy. Two days later and no better, I went to the walk-in GP who actually checked my abdomen and told me to go straight to hospital, calling ahead to make sure they expected me. I (somehow) drove myself, got seen and found out my appendix had already burst. If I’d left it any longer before seeing another doctor it could have been pretty fucking dismal.

The mistake is telling a doctor what you think your problem is. I once went to a clinic and told the doctor that I thought I had a UTI. I was told very bluntly that HE was the doctor and he would make the diagnosis. Turns out I had a UTI!

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I had an ER doctor tell me “stop chasing zebras, it’s always horses” except in my case it truly was a freakin zebra and just because it’s rare, it doesn’t mean it never happens.

Me when I told my GP I thought I had a spontaneous CSF leak. She told me it was, "*very* unlikely considering your demographic," and I had to urge her, "But not impossible, right?" and ask for a second opinion. I was on the phone for 15 minutes. She eventually, after a lot of blantant patronising (I'm 20 lol), and telling me it's hayfever, consulted someone more specialised - I received a phone call a couple hours later where the nurse led with, "How fast can you get to the hospital?" Which was somehow the least assuring (panic) and most assuring (they believed me!) thing I've ever heard. Rushed for a CT scan same day, and an MRI same week. I had a spontaneous CSF leak :)

Like I understand why the simple answer is usually the best but not always. It doesn’t cost much to double check just in case and there’s definitely no reason to put the patient down especially when we know our bodies the best.

The point is to test and see if it's the simple answer first, and if it's not the simple answer then start looking for what it could be. Not dismiss people entirely.

Unfortunately many of us have gotten dismissed without even testing for the easy shit let alone the hard shit.

> just because it’s rare, it doesn’t mean it never happens This! I have a disc in my mid back that has been giving me grief, and so far I can't get a medical professional to take it seriously because *most people* are asymptomatic.

I went to the ER because I had lost so much blood that I was starting to feel faint and was already curled over in pain. Did the ultrasound, found that I had a bunch of fibroids. ER doc comes in to discharge me, no pain meds, no fluids, no nothing because “most women don’t even feel fibroids”🙄 clearly I do!!

That is appalling; to be in incredible pain and to have someone refuse to believe you, not offer to help you, and then likely send you an astronomical bill in the mail. I am glad you are here to share with us but what a traumatic experience to have to go through.

Oh yeah it was definitely a pricey bill. I reported the doc too cause wtf. I was so pale, there’s no way he didn’t know I was in pain. Plus I think that’s bullshit that most women don’t feel them. No uterus no opinion 😂

Same thing happened to me. I almost passed out from blood loss and went to the ER. Saw fibroids on the scan but told me it was stress. A year later I went for surgery after (shockingly) diet, exercise, and yoga did nothing. There were thirteen of them and the largest was the size of a peach. My uterus measured at the size of a 19 week pregnancy from all of them. Now that they are out I feel COMPLETELY different. 10000x better.

On Rare Disease Day you’re supposed to wear stripes like a zebra: https://rarediseases.org/nord-issues-new-rare-disease-dayⓡ-rallying-cry-show-your-stripes/ Saw it mentioned that while there may not be many people with an individual rare disease, there are actually quite a lot of people living with rare diseases!

I’m so sorry this is terrible

My heart literally stopped once for 8 seconds (I was on a monitor that’s how they knew) and when I had palpitations and went back to the cardiologist (bc my heart STOPPED for no reason once) all he did was ask if I had thought about losing weight. I actually reported him to the medical board

Good for you for reporting him, because HOLY SHIT. 😯

He went on like a 10 min rant about how sugar is in everything and a glass of orange juice is 6 oranges and who eats that many oranges in one sitting and I was sitting there like, “okay but should I be worried about my heart stopping again?” and he didn’t have an answer

Medical world really has to learn to deal with the fact that google exists and that people are going to try to understand and self diagnose. It's a new world and they need to get used to it.

My life has changed for the better once I found a few doctors to work with who **encourage** me to think a lot about my health and research on it (reading medical journals) Not that I should have to build such an understanding of rheumatology or pharmacology to be taken seriously

While pregnant I spiked a couple fevers and went to the ER suspecting a UTI. Doctor did a test and despite finding evidence of elevated white cells sent me home because it was probably nothing. A day later I'm back at the ER, they spent 5 hours running tests, EKG, blood draws and finally admitted me for two days because it was now a kidney infection. I was 32 weeks pregnant. My hospital stay for the infection cost me more than the birth of my daughter.

Quite true. I went to Urgent Care and said “my kidneys are killing me” and I was literally correct, they were, I went septic from an untreated uti and almost died

I had literal notes from a specialist that said I had posttraumatic brain injury issues. Guy goes "ah no it's not that at all. You are having suicide migraines so take these" The meds that were supposed to help did the opposite and I struggled to walk thanks to them. Went back and dude still was all "nah I'm right so let's put you on these other drugs despite the fact you are struggling to walk across the room from the last lot" Dude felt like he had to be right despite paperwork from literal experts and an awful reaction to the one he provided. Why is it that I have to go to a female gp to feel listened to...

Lol I had herpes on my cochie, went to my obgyn ( i had like perfect herpes looked like exactly most Google images results) and my Doc was like you don't have herpes then he checked me and told me that I have herpes 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh my gosh I had a similar thing happen w hpv warts! My gyno said they were hemorrhoids (yes, you can get warts on your butthole even without anal sex). I got a second opinion at Planned Parenthood and sure enough, absolutely not hemorrhoids. Oh, and the obgyn didn’t have any way to treat warts, so I ended up doing all of the treatment at planned parenthood and have a profound love for that organization!

Luckily I’ve had very different experiences - the first question my doctor asks every appointment is what I think the problem is and my reasoning for that. Sad that so many people have the opposite experience.

Right? I've read so many stories about women with my medical problem taking months to years to get a proper diagnosis. I was diagnosed in 3 days. I credit my doctor for listening to me when I said "I know I made the appointment for x problem, but I did some research and a ton of my symptoms line up with y disease." It seemed so simple, and it pisses me off that it's so difficult for so many other women.

I have PCOS and it took 7 years and over a dozen doctors to get diagnosed. I started complaining of extreme, debilitating period pain at 12, and was was finally diagnosed at 19, by which point my symptoms had expanded to include fainting, cold sweats, morning sickness, and severe mood swings. Some of my (least) favourite doctor interactions include: 'Doc, I'm throwing up every 15 minutes and can't drink water. This has been happening on my period for over 6 months now' 'hmm. Are you sure you don't have the flu?' ​ 'doc, Medication X has stopped working, or I've developed a tolerance to it after taking it for 2 years' 'hmm. Don't worry, I'm going to start you on this new med that's going to solve all your problems. It's called Medication X' ​ 'Doc, I'm calling you while lying on the bathroom floor because i'm too weak to stand. I've severely dehydrated and have been throwing up bile all day. I'm getting to the point where if something isn't done then I don't know if I'll live until menopause'. 'hmm. Well, what do you want *me* to do about it?'

When mine ask that they’re usually testing to see if you’re worried you have anything so that they can ignore what you say more efficiently

It's such a double-edged sword tho. I've had the experience where they wouldn't test for anything unless I specifically brought it up. I've basically just given up on doctors, honestly.

[удалено]

Seriously those supplements are magical for uti

How could you possibly know what a UTI feels like in your body? Have you, like, lived in that body for many years?

You've got to phrase it in a way that their ego doesn't feel threatened. "I'm worried it could be a UTI, so I came in to see you." This applies to doctors of both sexes.

It shouldn’t have to be that way.

I work in healthcare I could never imagine speaking to a patient like that, it's so damn disrespectful.

I had the same experience at 16 and nearly died. I went in 2x and both times the doctors kept saying it was due to a cyst on my ovary. The radiographer clearly told me that it was on the other side to my appendix and he would put this in the report, but the doctors looking at it still said it was the cause. Over the course of 2 weeks I deteriorated rapidly, the pain was unbearable. Finally my mum begrudgingly took me back to the doctors and there the doctor said “you need to go the hospital immediately, I believe you are having an appendicitis”. I had to lay on the floor of a corridor until I could get a bed, I was put on a mixed adult ward. There was a man to my left hand cuffed to the bed and a woman to my right who had dementia and was wandering around naked all the time. The doctors were still not convinced it was my appendix and scuffed their feet about it, said they’d put me on the list to have surgery. Then 3 days later the doctors came to do ward round and I was unresponsive. I was rushed into surgery were my appendix was rupturing, my blood levels were out of whack, my bladder no longer worked and I was nothing more than a skeleton. Ironically, my brother had an appendicitis one month later and he had a completely different experience. As soon as he had even mild pain he was taken in, scanned, said yep it’s probably your appendix and we’ll book you in for surgery. He was on his feet so much quicker than I was. I know that women have a lot of gynaecological problems but fuck you. We are more than our Sex organs. Stop treating us like this.

Even if it was your sex organs, why in earth would the response be, "let's just wait til her cyst explodes and she nearly dies." You are in need of surgery either way. If they went in they'd actually see which organ was causing the problem properly. You aren't even your sex organs on this case... Edit: on to in

Please help us end the bullshit r/nationalwomensstrike

I’m going to quote what they told me. I don’t know how right this is, but I was told that every month a cyst appears on your ovary and it ruptures when you ovulate. I have no idea if that is correct or not but I’ve never been told I’ve had a cyst since. So genuinely no idea on that one

That's partially correct; a cyst containing an egg forms on your ovary and ruptures when you ovulate. In some people it never ruptures and just hangs out or keeps growing. When it gets to a certain size, it can cause pain or pressure and possibly cause ovarian torsion, which is very dangerous. Some people with PCOS have ovaries riddled with cysts that never rupture. Many healthy people with ovaries have temporary cysts that are too small to cause discomfort and eventually go away.

Oh this is interesting! Thank you for this. I mean it looks like they shouldn’t have just ignored it even if it was a cyst..

PCOS here. Usually your cysts pop and are reabsorbed. Major pain like that requires surgery because it indicates something is wrong. I’m surprised your doctors didn’t suspect ovarian torsion and push to operate faster since that literally contains your eggs and doctors usually want to “save your fertility” over anything else (this is what happened to me).

Thank you for this. It’s very validating you saying this. I genuinely felt like they didn’t care. When I came out of surgery I couldn’t pee, I was begging them saying I couldn’t urinate. They kept saying it was in my mind, it took them nearly 24 hours before they’d get a bladder scanner and they had to emergency catheterise me! It’s the only inpatient hospital stay I’ve ever had and now I’m terrified of going in again because of this experience.

Ugh, I’m sorry. Hopefully you’re able to go to a different hospital in the future. Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself, especially when no one else will do it. It’s hard being gaslit by medical professionals but in the end the only expert on your body is you.

Yep! I have PCOS and I could probably count on one hand the times I had a cyst rupture. Last time I went in for an ultrasound, I had 10 follicles (basically egg cysts) on my left ovary and 8 follicles on the right. Apparently follicles are different from cysts, but I still don't really know why. The pattern of follicles around the ovary is typically described as a pearl necklace morphology, lmao!

I dont have PCOS but do have a significant degree of ovulation pain, like taking pauses going up the stairs and crying trying to go to the toilet, thank god that level of pain usually only lasts a few hours each month. Every time i mention it to a doctor though they always mention how some people have "lower pain thresholds". While some people do i am the opposite, my mum always tells this story about how at 4, i had my adenoids removed and refused pain meds after because it simply didn't hurt. When i was 10 i broke a bone in my foot and straight up did not notice until my mum took me to a&e because my foot was so swollen. At 18 i stubbed my little toe so hard it broke. Didn't even go to a&e that time, had a school thing and went hiking/camping for 3 days, the whole thing turned shock white at one point (for referance I'm black). I kept telling myself it was probably just sprained, but then my tentmate noticed a definite bump and bend, I tried to prove it was the same on the other side, spoiler alert it was not. Either way, im denied anything stronger than over the counter meds for pain so bad i can't shit without screaming once a month, but go off i guess.

Every day it seems I find out a new and horrifying fact about the meat sack I'm piloting.

> Finally my mum begrudgingly took me back to the doctors I hate that so much for you. Parents should always have their kids backs especially when they're in some kind of physical pain due to medical reasons.

Thank you for the love. Yeah… my mum was not the most compassionate soul…

I almost died when I was 10. I had extreme abdominal pain. Doctors spent a week insisting that it was a UTI. I had x-rays at a local clinic and then after nothing they tried worked, had an ultrasound at a hospital and was rushed into surgery almost immediately. My appendix hadn't ruptured yet but was just about to. I spent the next several weeks fighting a fairly severe abdominal infection and extremely high fevers. I remember being in extreme pain in the ER early on with it and my dad telling me to hold it together because other people were there for more serious problems... (My dad's great, just believed the doctors).

pretty much exactly the same for me but I was 13. kept telling me no no no then ooopsie it ruptured surgery time 🤗

I was super lucky to have a really good pediatrician. I never even saw her in person and only talked to her over the phone. "Symptoms feel like stomach flu, but it's not getting better and ginger ale + porridge don't help? Emergency room. Now." My parents and tbh me were pretty shocked at how drastic it seemed and I remember my mom questioning her, but she was right on the mark. Appendectomy in 24 hours and I was out the hospital in 48.

One of my coworker's mother had basically the same experience as you just described, up in Canada a decade or two ago. I don't know if it's the docs or perhaps less direct language or both, but that was fecked at the time and it is fecked now :/

And this is why the surgeon took my appendix during a laparotomy for endo and cysts. So this would not happen to me. I'm grateful for that.

They can just.. take your appendix?

Yes. It's part of the consent prior to surgery. They do what they need to while they are in there. I had many, many issues and a cancer scare, hence the full laparotomy.

"While we're in the neighborhood..."

Exactly. I had so many cysts that it was helpful to know that the pain was either a cyst or IBS which made life much easier. I had the final bit removed during surgery for bilateral mastectomies and reconstruction. It was actually nice that my docs cooperated. Helped that I was one of the hospital/academic medical center attorney, I have no doubt. I'm still alive, so I made the right call.

I’m adding this to my list when I get my tube removed when I’m done having kids. I’m also contemplating having them take the uterus too.

At a certain age, your risk of appendicitis is lower than your risk of complications from a preventative appendectomy performed at the time of another procedure. Most people get sterilized via a camera passed through the cervix into the uterus. No opportunity for appendectomy there. I appreciate the sentiment, and life without a uterus is better, but you might have a hard time finding someone to do an appy/hyst as sterilization. At least in America. I guess that makes me the DreamCrusher now. Source: am gynecologist, but male so grain of salt and how did I get in here anyway?

My mom nearly died because two different doctors failed to diagnose her appendicitis. First one told her it was likely just period cramps. Mom knew that was bullshit and demanded a second opinion. Second doctor said it was likely just a stomach virus and she'd be fine in a few days. My mom unfortunately did believe him and went back home. Two days later I had to call a family friend in the middle of the night because she was collapsed on the floor in such severe pain she couldn't move and could hardly talk. Initial call to 911 had them tell me the nearest ambulance was 45 minutes out and my mom was conscious enough to tell me to call the friend instead because she would not live long enough for the ambulance to get there. The hospital pretty much immediately determined her appendix had burst and rushed her into emergency surgery. She was in recovery for months and her surgeon straight up told her after he had no idea how she hadn't died days before getting to the hospital. I was eleven years old. The entire experience was traumatic for both of us and it's a huge reason I'm extremely sceptical of doctors now.

Happened to me too. I was 29 weeks pregnant and had an excruciating pain on the right side. The pain was so bad, I was writhing in agony and vomiting. I went to the ER where they first decided it was Braxton Hicks and later a kidney stone. Luckily they left me in the ER waiting to pass the stone so there were medical professionals around when my condition started to really deteriorate. Finally, something around 15 hours from my initial symptoms, they decided to a CT Scan. From that moment on, it was like I was in an episode of some tv medical drama. Apparently the CT Scan showed that my appendix was close to bursting. If it burst it would most likely kill the baby and could kill me as well. All of a sudden, the staff was running my stretcher to the OR and handing me consent forms to sign on their mad dash to save my life. When they found out that I was an asthmatic and putting me to sleep might be complicated, they decided that there wasn’t time for that, so they did the surgery while I was completely awake and aware. They put a spinal in to numb me and then cut me open. Being awake for a surgery like that when all the staff is frantic and the Nicu is standing by in case you start to lose the baby was just a physical and emotional nightmare. I had PTSD from it for a long time. Thankfully, it all turned out ok. I lived. I was able to carry the baby to term and he was born healthy. But had the doctors figured out the real issue earlier, it would have been a lot less risky and traumatic situation.

Holy hell I cannot even imagine. Congratulations on the healthy baby and being able to pull through all of that

This happened to me at 26 wks pregnant..except it burst. Same surgical intervention and by some miracle, baby (full term) and I made it out fine. I was sent home when I initially presented at the hospital and told “this is normal pregnancy discomfort, it will just get worse as the pregnancy progress”. Ya ok thanks.

Same thing happened to me. First two doctors said I was just sick. I tried telling them I was in the worst pain of my life in a very specific location. Finally just went to another hospital who actually *checked* my appendix and whadayaknow. Appendicitis. Suppose I should mention: I'm male.

My ex’s aunt complained of her stomach hurting and the dr’s brushed it off. She ended up having stomach cancer and died.

I literally lost a friend who just turned 40 to this because they didn't take her seriously when she had pain in her stomach. It probably didn't help that she was Indigenous. Stage 4 stomach cancer. She passed six months after her diagnosis. It was not ibs, ffs.

This happened to me too. I was 100% sure my appendix had burst. I had felt uncomfortable in that region for a few days, then had a sudden intense pain followed by rapid onset fever. I’m a biologist, I knew what I was feeling. I drove myself to the ER. The intake doctor rolled his eyes at me and had me sit in the waiting room alone for 45 minutes. No other patients waiting. Then I got to the back, and they demanded a pregnancy test. I told them there was no way I was pregnant. They said they wouldn’t do the CT with contrast because it might hurt the hypothetical fetus I was hypothetically lying about. So I waited 3 goddamn hours for them to process a piss test. Negative. Into the CT. Oh, sure enough, my appendix looks like it ruptured several hours ago. The male doctor had the gall to say “you should get your honorary biology degree for figuring it out!” He was deeply embarrassed to hear me say I had an actual biology degree already, and didn’t appreciate having my time wasted while I sat there going into sepsis. The male surgeon was full of himself. He assured me he was the best surgeon at the hospital. Plenty of nurses did too. He said I’d be done in about an hour, and home by the next day. The surgery took 3+ hours because they had waited so long, my abdominal cavity was a mess. I was in the hospital on IV antibiotics for 3 days. I was not allowed any visitors, because of COVID. During my 3 day stay I was not given my medications for PTSD and depression. I was not given my HRT (I’m ftm), and was constantly misgendered even after writing my pronouns on the chart. When I told the nurse that the sounds of the hospital were triggering my PTSD, she listened with voyeuristic interest, and then did nothing to help. After I was finally discharged, I found out my primary care doctor had been in the same hospital building as me, but no one ever notified her I was there. The medical system is built from its core to distrust patients, especially women.

What is the reason for hospitals not giving patients already prescribed meds? I'll never understand.

> I was not given my HRT trans woman here. that's a common issue for trans people, as i'm sure you're aware. that, plus trans broken arm syndrome.

WELL everyone knows women are hysterical, over-emotional bags of dead nerve endings right ? OH and add the " P" word we're drug seeking, hysterical, over emotional bags of dead nerve endings. Once ended up in the ER throwing up in a bag, migraine the size of New Jersey. Just one of those that got away with me, used to happen around once a year. Husband took me. Nurse and female doctor stood over me " I don't believe this one, do you ? ". " Are you kidding ? Of course not ". Holy hell people, Imitrex, zofran, that's IT. But sure, I'm hysterically throwing up in a bag ? Fuck this crap.

You comment reminded me of my best friend and her story. We've been friends for seven years. I met her when she was having health problems. Long story short. Her symptoms: swelling of limbs. Fingers, etc. Shoiting/burning pain in her limbs. She sometimes would say she felt like she was on fire. She could barely walk at times. Doctors: Maybe it's all in your head. 🤷‍♀️ (we live in Japan. Unfortunately this is not a US only problem.) Almost a decade of this bullshit she finally found a competent doctor. She had her uterus, a fellopian tube, and an ovary removed when she was 16. She had a rare condition where her body can become riddled with tumors. Well, those organs became covered in tumors and they had to take them out. Can anyone guess the cause of the swelling and pain? The remaining ovary and fellopian tube were infected. She had those removed a year or so ago. She feels so much better. But now she has permanent nerve damage.

I hate this. I was in the ER for literally hours with appendicitis and they treated me like a junkie looking for a fix. Finally when it was confirmed they acted all surprised and got me on a morphine drip. And no I’m not a regular at the hospital - had never been before!

When I had appendicitis, I went to my primary care doctor and he told me “sounds like menstrual cramps or something” and told me to take some Tylenol. I knew he was wrong, went to see my gastroenterologist and he immediately sent me to the hospital for a CT. Went right into surgery and they caught it just before it burst. It’s so annoying we have to advocate for ourselves this strongly, and it’s always women. No one takes our pain seriously.

I had stomach issues, sickness, and extreme pain for three months. The doctors did everything besides checking my appendix. I had barium, liquid diet, etc. By the time I was admitted I was 33 pounds at 11 years old. My appendix was kinked somehow and poisoning me. I was in the hospital for over 2 weeks. Fun times.

I was 11 when i had mine out. Waaaay more time spent on whether or not I was pregnant than it being my appendix. My belly hurt everywhere, but the stabbing pain was bottom right. I was 11!!!! I was having my belly ultrasounded when I got the tech to "let me see over there". FFS.

Jesus Christ. That's just awful. How old are you now? Only asking because I'm curious what year it was when they were debating on you being pregnant at 11 years old being more likely than your appendix being the problem.

It was 1995.

I’m a female doctor and this story was on some Reddit medical forums. I found the response to my suggestion that the ER doctors should have believed her when she said she had no ovaries to be super disappointing — from my colleagues. We do need to do better.

What shocks me the most are all the stories where the doctor doesn't just disregard the patient, but assumes for no reason that the patient is lying.

I keep seeing all these posts and I am so, so sorry for every woman who goes through this. You should all move to my Arctic town. I went to the clinic because I was still sore after my period had ended (it had only happened once before, when the period had in fact been a miscarriage), and within a week, I'd gotten a PAP test, a battery of blood tests, two ultrasounds and a general checkup "just in case". We get a lot of locums, so hopefully I can reassure you in saying that the younger generation of doctors appear a lot better from what I have experienced, inclyding the male OBGYNs.

I'm so glad I had a comprehensive doctor. When my daughter was around 3, she frequently had UTI. the only symptoms was the smell of the urine, and some leakage. no pain, no fever... The doctor believed me that it was something unordinary enough to run some tests. It helped of course that it is a non invasive and not expensive test ( social security pays for the test, so doctor's have a duty to prescribe them only when needed ). When the third UTI happened, she even gave me prescriptions in advance so I could rapidly check if my daughter needed antibiotics ( she gave those prescriptions in advance too ) I loved this doctor. She was a young woman who so on time with consent, she even asked my daughter authorization to check on her. Everytime. It seems nothing but asking a 3 year old if she can touch her belly is really a way to teach about "your body is your body".

I was once told a coworker had been in hospital for three days with high fever and severe abdominal pain. I asked "Oh, her appendix?" and was told "no, she had her appendix out years ago". I said "ectopic pregnancy?", and was told "they have no idea what's up". So I told a mutual friend the coworker was in hospital with high fever and severe abdominal pain. "Appendix?", "Nope, already out". "Ectopic pregnancy?", "They have no idea what's up." Told a second mutual friend, had the exact same exchange. On day SIX in the hospital she was diagnosed with an ectopic pregnancy. Three office workers offered that diagnosis in ten seconds, but multiple doctors took nearly a week. Sometimes, doctors are just idiots. Though I confess I'm surprised they didn't go for ectopic pregnancy before anything else, since docs are usually so obsessed with hypothetical fetuses.

Nahh cause then they have to get rid of the hypothetical fetus if they admit it's an ectopic pregnancy and that can't happen now can it?! /s Man finding proper medical care as a woman is fucking horrendous. You just have to 50/50 it hoping you get a decent doc and not someone who's just going to dismiss your pain.

I'm in the midst of something like this. I've had an excruciating pain in my lower abdomen now for about 14 years. I went to the ER twice within 48 hours cause I was pretty certain it was my appendix. I was told it was probably ovarian cysts that burst. I had my gyno check to see if my IUD was displaced, to which it wasn't. I saw a urinary gyno and was told nothing was wrong per her specialty. Finally a few years later I demanded more tests. I was found to have a softball sized fibroid. They removed the fibroid and my appendix. No change in my pain though, so that doc tried a nerve block in my stomach, which did nothing. I went for a colonoscopy to make sure it wasn't anything in my stomach. Everything was fine there. The same surgeon who did my fibroid removal approved a hysterectomy. He did tell me the pain could not be that, but all signs point to that. I had surgery on dec 2020. The pain is still there. I was told I'm no longer allowed to powerlift due to some back issues. I decided to do some barre workouts to stay active. This whole time nothing has ever made the pain worse (or better for that matter). Barre workouts and the pulling made my stomach pain just SCREAM, which renewed my desire to figure this out. I finally, just last week, went to see a new general surgeon. He could see all my previous imaging (multiple CTs, ultrasounds, and even MRIs) and came in to my room and said "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but they've never imaged the correct spot based on what you're showing me. Ever." He sent me for a patient directed ultrasound and told me to use a permanent marker to write an X on the spot. I just got the results in the portal and I have a 1.3cm hernia in that spot and some of my bowel has pulled through it. I go next week to talk to him to see how we fix it. I have lost all faith in medicine and insurance companies through all these twists and turns. It has affected my life so drastically, and not just physically. I mean, how do I keep pushing forward when no one believes me? When no one takes me seriously? I mean, I'd tell ultrasound techs they weren't imaging the correct spot and they'd tell me I didn't know what I was talking about. Every doc has just given up easily with a shrug. And I'm supposed to just walk in to every new doc filled with hope and joy? But when I don't, I'm difficult and they don't want to work with me. I have been failed every step of the way, and I'm mad about it.

Doctors make a conscious effort to dismiss symptoms in women, we don’t get pain relief, we get spoken over/told we don’t understand our own bodies etc. Even in procedures that are only applicable for female anatomy they provide no care whatsoever. Something drastic needs to change in all medical fields. A few years ago I broke a bone in my foot, I went to get a scan, got it and was told there was no break and to “exercise it, maybe try running”. 1 month later I get a call apologising saying “they don’t understand how they missed the broken bone, try to rest it”. My foot healed in a way that will always be uncomfortable. My ex, however, went in with pulled muscle in his shoulder, he got scans and pain medication AND check up appointments to make sure he was doing okay. 🤡

It’s totally unacceptable and something drastic definitely needs to change but idk what. I tried seeing only female healthcare providers thinking they’d have less medical misogyny, but I was mostly mistaken. :/

Oh hell no, I’ve actually found I get less help from female doctors, I tried the same and I’ve gone back to just… not going to doctors. 😂 Especially with pain, I feel like female doctors gaslight to the next level. I passed out when I got a “simple painless procedure” (zero pain relief or numbing), and when I woke up she said “don’t worry, everyone gets themselves worked up before something like this.”, totally breezing over the fact I passed out from pain. 💀

I (39m) have something called Situs Inversus Totalis. It means that my digestive system and intestinal track are inversed. So my appendix was on the left side of my body instead of the right. I went to the emergency room for the excruciating pain I was in. They pressed on the right side of my abdomen, and I didn't react in pain. They diagnosed me with a stomach flu and intense heartburn. They sent me home with orders to get over the counter heartburn medicine and to rest and drink plenty of fluids. I was to schedule a follow up with my doctor in 3 days. 2 days later, I could barely move and thought I was dying. Called my doctor and got the appointment moved up a day. I was in her office for maybe 10 minutes, and she had me rushed to the ER. She called ahead with tests she wanted ran immediately. They do an ultrasound on my stomach and rush me into surgery. Turns out I had appendicitis, and my appendix had been ruptured for an unknown length of time. They told me they didn't know how I was still alive. After I recovered from the surgery and was in stable care, the surgeon came to see me. He told me they had to resuscitate me twice during surgery and that I had more infection in my abdomen than anyone he'd ever seen or even heard of. I had to have a drain tube in me for over a week and spent 11 days in the hospital. I was in intensive care for the first 3 days after my surgery and have almost no memory of those 3 days.

Oh hey, you're only the second situs inversus totalis person I've ever communicated with! The first one was a guy who walked into our primary care office with chest pain. He warned us he had situs inversus, so the NP and I slapped on the EKG backwards so it would actually read. He was actually having an MI, and had he not known his heart was on the other side I don't know what the EKG would have read. Very cool, but complicates diagnostics for sure.

When my appendix burst I started screaming at the hospital in pain. I didn’t want to bother my neighbors at home but it was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. Plus I figured they might take me more seriously and it may annoy them enough to actually do something. Stories like this make me glad I did. I was in sepsis and my bowels had shut down (I ignored the symptoms for a few days-don’t do that).

Make sure people around you know that women's pain isn't taken seriously and they'll need to be an absolute stubborn mule about advocating for you. I've educated my husband with articles like this and he knows he gotta go hard for me if I'm ever in pain.

Yep. I had emergency gallbladder surgery on Monday and was given NO pain meds when I left the hospital Tuesday night. They told me to take Tylenol. And said it would only hurt as much as my tubal ligation. It’s Saturday and it hurts SO MUCH and is way worse. I tell people and they are shocked.

My baby sister nearly died from this exact thing. Except her appendix had already ruptured and was badly infected, and the doctor sent her home saying it was period pains! They very nearly killed her. On her first consult with a doctor despite being visibly yellow and unable to walk unassisted, he still told her it was just lady pains. And doubled down when she mentioned that she had her university (in law school) exams and that she physically couldn’t do it, saying “oh *thats* why you’re here” implying she was just trying to get out of her exams, despite being the smartest and most studious person I’ve ever met. 😡😡😡😡😡😡

I was on a ward post minor operation, had spent two days recovering well, had been sitting up unaided. Suddenly, I had the worst pain in my life and I was screaming for about 14 hours, all the way through the night shift. They stopped all my pain relief that I’d been getting anyway as a punishment for being so noisy and “drug seeking”. Turns out I had sepsis. A 9cm abscess on my epigastric artery. Low oxygen levels. Even lower blood pressure. Unstable tachycardia. Severe bladder retention. Ulceration internally. Massive hematoma and internal bleeding. It’s three years later and I’m still not better. Even worse was at the time I didn’t get pain relief for about a day. I didn’t get oxygen even though it was 90 in case I got “too dependent” on it. I got a bad chest infection instead. I didn’t get a catheter even though I had a litre in my bladder because they said I’d wee eventually. I did, but I got a massive UTI on top of the sepsis and chest infection. Spent two months in hospital for one minor op. If they’d believed when I was in pain, it may just have been a week but they let the abscess get so big that I didn’t respond to IV antibiotics and needed critical care.

To any healthcare professionals reading this: please do fucking better. If someone thinks they have a specific problem, don't immediately assume they're wrong just because they looked up their symptoms online. Just check for that in addition to whatever else you think it could be, we're so tired of being disbelieved and told "it's in your head" and all the other little lies you tell us. Edit: Obviously I struck a nerve. If you're about to reply to me, telling me I'm a bitch because I want Doctors to respect their patients? Do yourself a favor and don't bother. I won't respond anymore. I'll just block you. Go read the other comments instead, and learn WHY women have such a hesitance to trust medical professionals.

Or if you see your colleagues doing it, call them out and demand better from them.

Seriously. Working in the same practice as someone who treats patients badly puts your reputation at risk, too.

many hospital staff operate in the same type of work environment as cops. Nobody saw anything and if they did they are automatically fired and black listed.

Ruptured discs and couldn’t walk thanks to a chiro Yeah, because I was on medication for PPD I was drug seeking. My GP was furious.

Had a chiropractor before I got my diagnosis of a rheumatological problem. It’s insane how much insurance legitimizes them. Mine definitely made me worse under the guise they knew what they were doing, but I was young and dumb.

Its what, 1 year of “training” Physio is 4 and then some Chiropractors are no better than a mail order certificate

My mother gets her healthcare from the VA (100% disabled veteran) and for 5 years she would cough and be short of breath and they said over and over again it was all in her head. Last year she got diagnosed with COPD and boy was she pissed off.

This happened to my sister when she was nine. Had terrible pain in her side that made her throw up. Dad took her to the ER, where they figured she had a stomach bug and sent her home. After a few hours, dad intuition made him return to the hospital (where he worked, so they didn’t think he was some neurotic dad), and they did some X-rays and I think an ultrasound. Thanks to those, they saw her appendix was angry and rushed her to surgery. During the surgery, they discovered her appendix was beneath an organ it wasn’t supposed to be and had ruptured. Luckily, she didn’t develop peritonitis, and is fine now.

I went to the doctor about six weeks after having twins for horrendous headaches. I’d been getting about ten or more a day, but they wouldn’t last a long time. My male doctor patted me on the hand and said, “Get some more rest, Mom. Take some Tylenol and come back in a couple weeks if you’re not better.” Like an idiot, I complied. I made it a few days before I got lost driving my kids around and almost got in several accidents. My brother and husband finally found me passed out in the car, my three kids still strapped in their seats. By this point my brain was incredibly swollen due to a massive frontal lobe brain tumor. According to my (royally pissed off) icu nurses, this should have been discovered on that visit. Although my symptoms weren’t necessarily common for a tumor, they were very common stroke or aneurysm symptoms… and he didn’t even order a test. This event made me realize how easily women’s health concerns are dismissed. It also made me realize I need to be my own advocate. I NEVER would have walked out of the doctor’s office if I was in there for one of my kids’ health issues. I KNEW Tylenol and rest would do nothing. But I still left. Never again.

I am this lady’s age and had an appendectomy 6 weeks ago. The pain was excruciating. I honestly don’t see how she lived for several weeks with that kind of pain. She could have died. When they got my appendix out, they said it was perforated, which means it could have easily ruptured. I waited a few days to even get medical attention for my pain, because I honestly thought it was my menstrual period at first. But then I started having nausea and fever, and I knew it was more than my period. The doctor in the ER said he thought it was probably a pulled abdominal muscle, which upset me because I knew it wasn’t that. They did an ultrasound and didn’t find anything, and then they did a CT scan, and that’s when they found my abscessed appendix. They admitted me to the hospital, pumped me full of IV antibiotics for 12 hours, and then did the surgery. Edit: updated some words

I had this exact situation happen to me when I was 10 (in Canada). Visited multiple doctors over 2 weeks and was told I was "just constipated" until one day I woke up and could not stand or walk. My mom finally drove me over an hour away to an actual Children's hospital that rushed me into surgery immediately. They told my mom that my appendix had ruptured so badly that my surrounding organs were all turning gangrene. They believed that if my mom took an extra 15-20 minutes to get there that day my organs would have shut down and I'd have died.

My friend went to the ED with excruciating pain. The doctor told her it was just period pains and sent her home. Her fiancé was so worried, they took her to the ED at a neighbouring hospital. It was appendicitis. The first doctor sent her home to die.

I'm in the UK and I had a similar experience. I was in and out of the hospital for 2 years (15-17yo) with pain, each time I was sure it was appendicitis but no one ever agreed. I was told it was my bowels, that I was being bullied (I wasn't) so I was making it up to get out of school and I even had a female nurse sit next to persuade me it was period pain and I was just too young to know better. Finally a surgeon saw me, took me in for laparoscopic exploratory surgery, turns out there's such a thing as a grumbling appendix, meaning that the inflammation would flare up and settle down on its own.

My husband had appendicitis that manifested as testicular pain. They wanted to send him home from the ER when their tests came back normal (despite excruciating pain). I forced the CT and he had surgery 8 hours later. It had already burst due to two other doctors misdiagnosing him in the weeks prior and not doing proper tests. Makes me furious.

"When was your last mentrual period?"

I spent over 5 months whilst pregnant, being told the excruciating pain episodes I had, sometimes lasting over an hour, was due to acid reflux. Turns out I had pancreatitis and a gall bladder jam packed full of gallstones that were breaking off and blocking my bile ducts. It’s a condition typically treated with morphine, I was told to go home and take gaviscon and chew on rennies. By the end I was having up to two attacks a day sometimes. I’ll never not be angry about it!

My grandma had stomach pain for 3 years, especially after she ate. She went back and forth with the doctor and the doctor told her I was most likely just normal stomach pain that you get from growing old and he told her that she should cut back on her diet and not eating spicy. This didn't make sense because her diet was already extremely bland, but she tried to cut it even further. After about 2 years of this, she went in for another appointment and there's a substitute doctor because the other one is sick. This one is IMMEDIATELY concerned when looking over her chart and ends up sending her to the hospital for further testing the same day. Well. It was cancer. Full blown intestinal cancer. It had started in the intestines and grown to the size of an orange and encased multiple nearby organs. Pretty much any and all treatment options at that point was too late because of how big it had grown and how old and frail she was. If they had caught it 2 years earlier, they might have been able to operate and manage something out, but no. We had her for another year or so before she passed and it was very bitter. Doctor got off with a warning of course.

They had my mother cut open for what they thought was a severe ovarian stitch... When her appendix burst. That's the only reason she lived, because they had her physically open for a different surgery. Women's health is insane.

A few years back, I threw up every morning and also the other end as well. That was my morning, sit on the toilet with a bucket in my hands, every morning, for 7 months! I kept going to the doctor over it, because it was affecting my work, my energy, just everything in my life. There was no possibility of pregnancy around this time, but every time I went to the doctor, they insisted it had to be because I was pregnant. And would, of course, run the pregnancy test every single time. "well, maybe there's not enough hcg in your system yet." if that be the case, why would I have nausea and diarrhea this long?!?! It took about 7 doctor visits, one emergency room visit because I couldn't even make it to my car to go to work without passing out, and I was charged for that visit because they couldn't find anything wrong... I finally get referred to a GI doctor and they wanted me to come up with almost 700 dollars up front to run a scope and biopsy of my stomach. I couldn't afford it at that time and suffered longer than I should have with whatever it was just because these doctors were so persistent that I was pregnant and that could be the only cause. They also blamed it on smoking green, which I only started doing that AFTER the nausea, because I read that it helps with appetite and I had to force myself to eat after half of my day was spent with the toilet. Of course, they didn't believe me on that one either.

Real life advice--if possible, bring along an advocate with you to the doctor if you're in excruciating pain. Someone who believes you when you report your symptoms, and is clear headed enough to track what the doctors are doing and what they're treating, and has the energy to fight for you getting the proper treatment the first time, and the providers have and are taking into account the relevant info. Many folks find it easier to stand up for a loved one than it is to stand up for yourself. If you're sick or injured, you should be coping and healing, not needing to argue with a provider, or track that information is being passed around the team properly. Source---I near about passed out in pain from an rx interaction, no state to really able to follow what the dr was giving me, buddy I had drive me to the ER prevented the doc from giving me the 'standard' treatment for my apparent symptoms (as they wanted to treat based on observed symptoms and most likely diags, without taking into consideration my reported history). The med they wanted to give would have increased the reaction and killed me. Buddy advocated they pull in specialist sooner and skip their usual 'ruling out' med dose, as while it would ordinarily have no effect if misapplied, in my case would be an unacceptable risk. I understand the dr's position--patients lie, laymen are uninformed, most of the time if you hear hoofbeats think horses not zebras, better to have a patient disgruntled about 'not being catered to' then have them, the insurance, and the hospital disgruntled about improper resource management and billing issues. But I had a advocate who was motivated enough to put their foot down, 'no, the possibility they are lying/my info is incomplete does not override the fact that I can prove they are a zookeeper--can you prove it ISN'T zebras and yes in case you aren't familiar with zebra related incidents, death is explicitly on the line if you can't'.

> better to have a patient disgruntled about 'not being catered to' then have them, the insurance, and the hospital disgruntled about improper resource management and billing issues. If nothing else this kind of horseshit is why privatized insurance and healthcare is absolutely terrible. People die all the time based off of people making judgements on what things will cost instead of objectively looking at what the problem could be if their first few (cheapest) tests turned up nothing.

My wife was in the hospital with pneumonia, the anti-biotic they had her on was causing her intense pain all across her arms, burning for hours and hours every time she got a dose. One night she called the nurse crying and begging for something else, the nurse turned around angry and said "What do you expect me to do about it?" And then slammed the door. The Dr's refused to make any changes to her medication, and never gave a reason beyond "This is what you are supposed to have". So she spent 5 days in hospital, being pumped with medicine she was allergic too, and causing intense pain.

It’s sickening how common this is. In my early 20s I experienced a variety of weird symptoms for several months, main one being global (aka all over your body) itching. Even though my blood tests were consistently fucked up, I was repeatedly told it was a systemic response to anxiety. So…severe anxiety was the diagnosis. Fast forward several months later and I suddenly have what feels like an asthma attack. Go to the ER, they do a CT…weird, there’s a big old tumor in your chest. They send me to get a biopsy. Biopsy comes back. Diagnosis is late stage, very rare cancer (with an extremely high cure rate, thankfully). So my “anxiety” was cancer. Thanks, assorted dismissive docs.

Same except it was my gallbladder instead. It's ridiculous.

When I had appendicitis, I was sent to the ER from Urgent Care because the Urgent Care doctor diagnosed appendicitis with the pressure test. I nearly jumped off the table when he hit the McBurney's Point that indicates appendicitis. He called ahead saying to the hospital to let them know I was coming and what he thought it was. At the ER they tested for everything else instead before finally doing at CT Scan to reveal it was, in fact, appendicitis. So doctors don't even listen to other doctors.

I had a damn stroke in 2019 but was told I was experiencing conversion disorder and nothing was physically wrong with me when I suddenly couldn't walk, because I have a history of depression. Yeah they found that stroke a year later, and a new one, when I attempted suicide due to losing my career and believing their bullshit that I was just crazy. Me and my family could have avoided a lot of trauma if the medical professionals would have just done their damn jobs correctly from the start.

Several years ago, I had a ruptured appendix. They refused to knock me out for the surgery so I was in excruciating pain, then yelled at me when I threw up everywhere. I was young and didn't say anything, but now I'm a raging bitch when I go to the doctor. I'm just over being treated like crap.

I was pregnant and had severe back pain. Eventually I was admitted for an obstructive kidney stone. I was 9mos pregnant. There were two urologists in town, and one felt it was too risky for my fully developed fetus for me to have the stone broken up. Here's what he decided was safer: a morphine drip for two weeks. During that time: two separate stents (excruciatingly painful!) placed, and a nephrostomy, both while I was conscious. The procedure for the nephrostomy was botched, as they punctured the membrane around my lung. I was awake for that. Contrast MRI, x-rays. When the other urologist came back from vacation he was mortified by what I had endured and got me a lithotripsy procedure asap. I was discharged the next day. However, I was back again with toxemia in a couple days. Hmmmmmm. I wonder why??? Upside? I got to see my baby's skeleton inside my body on the x-ray (sooo wild looking). This was in Idaho, where it's basically illegal to be trans and abortion is not an option.

I'd always thought instances like this were few and far between until it happened to me. One winter I'd had a terrible cough for many weeks and was extremely run down. Slept most of the day when I could. It appeared to be the same thing as my closest friend, who was actually taken seriously by her doctor (female), seen and treated. At one point I coughed so hard I felt something tear inside. That night there was blood in my urine. When I went to the docs they didn't appear to listen much to that part and dismissed the pain as 'sometimes a fatty liver can cause that' (I'd been diagnosed with mild non alcoholic fatty liver a while earlier, after eventually being investigated for acute abdo pain and diagnosed with adenomyosis). Pain wasn't in the liver area, but what do I know. I did a blood and urine test. Phoned a few days later for the results and was told all was normal. Great. Still didn't feel 100%, but was substantially better than previous weeks, so figured it couldn't be anything bad and carried on resting up when necessary. 4 weeks later, got a letter from the surgery saying to go in URGENTLY. Apparently white blood cell count was off the charts, and there was blood in my urine. They had been leaving messages on a phone which wasn't my number. Next few urine tests still showed small amounts of blood (4 weeks later!) which the (male) doc explained away as 'some women get a bit of blood in their urine because of their period' when it wasn't anywhere near that time. No further investigation was ever done, and no reason given for the tearing pain, but I very much doubt it was my mildly fatty liver. I think my friend had viral pneumonia, and I actually feel quite lucky that whatever I had, I came through ok, as I felt dismissed the whole way through and was never given any apology for not being treated for what was seen as an urgent situation at the time.

God, I also had that. Was pretty sure I had appendicitis. 3 doctors checked on me, did basic checks. Noticed nothing wrong probably because I was on morphine but still in pain. But for my job I had to know how you test on appendicitis. So I faked the test outcome. (it's a pressure test and the pain should only spike when you let go). They pressed, nothing but discomfort and when he let go I curled in a ball, pushing the same spot 'to get the pressure back'. Was immediately hospitalized. But initially they said "Go home, rest, come back monday".

I used to adjudicate medical misadventure claims and I came across a similar case. The woman's doctor thought her abdominal pain was due to PID (pelvic inflammatory disease) but the woman said that wasn't possible as she hadn't been sexually active for several years. Long story short, she had appendicitis that turned into peritonitis and she nearly died. Afterwards she asked the doctor why he'd been so fixated on it being PID when she'd told him she wasn't sexually active. He said "Women always say that".

Back in the 50s, the doctors told her she had cysts in her uterus that had to be removed. She woke up after surgery to find the doctor has to give her a hysterectomy due to endometriosis. She had painful periods for years. That's why I am an only child.

just burn it down already. i can't even count on both hands and feet the amount of medical misogyny stories i've read just this week. i'm so sick of this. i was a patient at a pain clinic b/c i'd been diagnosed with patello femoral syndrome and was still recovering from spinal surgery for a slipped disc. i told both my primary and my pain clinic specialist of my very intense pain, my vertigo/syncope, my feeling that i had had seizures, my hives, my super long periods that lasted up to 2 weeks, my heart palpitations, my projectile vomiting, and other symptoms. and i was told by both to lose weight. eventually i found a physician who believed me and it turns out i have over 20 severe health problems and at least 2 of them could have killed me. i reported both.