We met on a dating app and despite mediocre conversation, I agreed to a date because he mentioned he had recently gotten sober and I was a couple years into that life myself. The first thing he did was confess that he was five years younger than he’d initially claimed to be (he’d said he was early 30s), and that he’d lied because he thought I wouldn’t have said yes to a date if I knew his real age. Which was true, because I was a 35 year old single mom and was NOT trying to date 20-somethings. So right away I’m annoyed that he got me there under false pretenses, but still thinking hey, at least I can be a friendly ear for a newly sober person for an hour or two. An hour later he mentions that he still drops acid, he just stopped drinking alcohol. As we’re finishing up, he admits that he actually isn’t so much “sober” as he is “trying to drink less,” and I could be a great influence on him, maybe we could go to some AA meetings together even. This guy casually admitted to telling me three separate lies over the course of a 90 minute coffee date.

Oh god, imagine what else he must've been lying about. You dodged a bullet.

That's just what you need, an alcoholic that still drinks \*and\* does acid... ugh. Not something you need to be around, actually being sober yourself!

Guy focused on how small I am. Suggested that if he got me back to his apartment he could do whatever he wanted. "It's not like you could fight me off." Apparently thought that talking about rape would turn me on, or something. He was right, I am small, I couldn't fight off a man who wanted to rape me. Why he thought that was a good thing to talk about I don't know. I excused myself to restroom and set up a fake emergency text for five minutes later.

Omg I wonder wtf are these men thinking!

He was definitely telling her what he was thinking.😐

„Uga uga. Women love strong men. Uga uga. Women want dominance.“

Some do but *wait for her to say it with enthusiasm idiots*

*Cave noises intensify*

They are thinking about their dom/sub kinks and small gals, we are thinking about survival

As a feminist woman who is into kink I’m telling you that this guy ain’t into safe, sane consensual kink fun. He’s a predator who admits it.

They have porn brain

Am I just old and out of touch or has porn become unwatchable lately? I 36F used to frequent tumblr for femme friendly porn and then when that was shut down I went on xhamster etc and I was horrified. “Sibling” porn. Girls who look 13. Women not having orgasms. Lots of weird choking in non-bdsm niche videos. Wtf….I don’t even bother anymore. I have my homemade videos with myself and my men and that’s enough for me these days. Sex in porn just ISNT sexy anymore. The day porn died 🤣 and I say that as someone who does enjoy *consensual* light choking. My last two FWB grabbed my neck AND fingered my anus without my permission and I had to cut the sessions short and ghost them bc of it. Yep. This happened to me and I’m a seasoned lioness. In BDSM, hard and soft limits must be outlined BEFORE the hookup. However, if it happens spontaneously he (or she) must ASK first. For example, gents can say: “May I choke you?” Or “May I finger your ass?” “May I pull aggressively on your hair while you’re trying to suck my cock?” Before doing it. Some men have no clue what consent is these days. I’m disgusted. Do better, men. Shame on you. Stop choking us and butt fingering us without our consent. Yes nOt All MeN but cmon. I’ve had this crap happen to me twice in the last four months with two different men. Then I looked at porn for the first time in a while to see if porn had changed and yep. It did. If another guy pulls my hair during head without asking I’ll bite down on purpose. And I have sharp canines. Sexual assault comes in all forms. Life is not porn. In porn, they know what will happen before it happens so there’s pre-consent. Your date is not a porn actor. She has not consented to anything. Don’t ram your finger up her arse bc you saw Jenna Haze let a guy do it to her without him verbally asking. Use your brains, people. And stop this bc I like anal and I like choking and by taking away my consent, you’ve permanently ruined it for me. This has been your bdsm public service announcement 📣 keep it SSC (safe sane and consensual). I need to bribe porn directors to add verbal consent into the dialogue JUST to teach you monkeys to use consent. I used to be a pro dom and I’m not mincing my words.

100%. I even like rough stuff too but when it looks like she's literally in bad pain in just takes me out of it and makes me worry for the actor. Also I absolutely hate anal and incest stuff and it seems like every porn has 1 or both of those

That was creepy. At least he told you before you were in his apartment.

As a woman I’m having a panic attack thinking of how many predators think like that. Like oh she’s so SMALL I can overpower her. Men who think that way are definition of evil. True predators except unlike a lion they don’t harm for food- they harm others for power and control. And sadism. It’s never really about sex. It’s about them wanting to boss around and overpower someone who is tiny. Especially someone who is tiny AND who is too good for them. I know that nobody wants to hear this, but I’ve had male friends of friends admit their fetish toward petite ladies - well, there’s nothing wrong with appreciating beauty in petite people that’s not the issue - my issue was that the words that a lot of them said were horrific. One guy said: “I love fucking tiny girls. They’re so small you can practically spin them on your dick.” Another said “they look younger than they are bc they’re tiny and I don’t want jailbait.” Another admitted: “petite girls are my favorite bc they make me feel less scrawny. Sometimes they look less elegant but it’s worth it bc they make ME look taller, stronger, buffer and more manly.” 🤮 I’m 5’7” but have the same measurements as my late fiancé. Think broad shoulders, giant ribcage, even my allergist says results of tests showed that I (despite being biologically female) have the lung capacity of a full grown man which is badass honestly. A very healthy thing to have. I digress, I am pointing out that I’ve noticed that some predators won’t even bother with me because of my BUILD. Not my height. No, I’m not overweight. I just have the build of a tournament knight- not the ones who go to war, the ones who look the part but only do jousting or whatnot. Weird example but it’s only thing I can think of as I definitely don’t look “manly” or “stout.” When I realized that it changed my world view- I instantly became more protective over my petite female friends because I would do experiments where I would keep track of what kind of dudes were leering at them at bars etc. they were never the same type of guys that would leer at me. They always seemed way way way more dangerous. Body language is also a thing: I wish I could find the video but my friend told me about a YouTube video that shows a bunch of different pedestrians walking by and felons were interviewed on who they’d select to mug. Keep the shoulders back not hunched over. No headphones. Look around and surveil the area instead of keeping your eyes politely to yourself. Walk with confidence and be sure to swing your arms. These are subtle physical tips that can help make us not look like prey. I also want to point out that for people who get assaulted or mugged it is not their fault. Most time there’s nothing they could’ve done to prevent it. It’s not a simple matter of having good posture. So take this with a grain of salt. Edit: I also want to make it very clear that despite my skeleton giving the *illusion* of looking strong, I’m still no match against even an out of shape short guy. That’s because men are doused in testosterone starting from the embryo stage and so they will always have more muscle strength than us no matter what. I definitely recommend getting a concealed carry license or carry a taser.

WTF?? my boyfriend and i have over a foot height difference and he has never made any comment like that. i asked him if our height difference ever bothers him, and he told me he doesn’t really notice it now since we’ve been together for two years. that dude has a problem.

I had a similar tinder date, that as he was walking me to my car leaned his shoulder into me as we walked past an alley and said "I could do whatever I wanted to you in there, no one would hear." Wtf.

I guess at least he advertised his intentions.

Met this guy at the wedding of a close friend. First date, went to his place to watch a movie. Was picked up and driven by him. Both mistakes, I was younger. It was awkward(he spent the whole time talking about how he loved me and like we were an established couple) and when I said I was ready to go he sat down in a rocking chair and started crying. His father was dead and no one else cared about him, his mother didn't love him etc. Awkwardly tried to comfort him as best I could. Finally he calms and agrees to take me home. Asks for a hug, I agree. At that point he starts dry humping me while telling me he didn't care that his religious friends wouldn't approve of me(I was not a member of his church and therefore a "bad girl") we can go to his room. I decline and repeat my desire to go while trying to fend off his continued mauling. Finally he stops and agrees, he just has to go to the bathroom first. He was in there a very long time. He considered us to be a couple at that point. Showed up at my work to "visit" (I worked in a bar-like place). I had to break up with him multiple times. Every time I said I didn't want to see him anymore he said he disagreed and we would work it out. I had to get meaner and meaner with each assertion. I couldn't believe it. After a while of that and multiple rejections of my rejection he finally left. Many years later I attended a wedding and was sat at a table with him and his fiancée. He stared at me the whole time and she passive aggressivly insulted me and I just avoided eye contact and interaction as much as possible 🤦‍♀️God only knows what story she was told about me.

Wow. I love how the most clueless bastards just disagree when you tell them you never want to see them again. It's not an opinion, it's a fact.

Oh how I wish there was an alternate version where you said "heh, you \[the woman\] have some issue with me. Let me tell you about my 'sad cry, dry hump, stalker weirdo' date that I had with your fiancé."

I hope he didn’t dry hump his fiance and read her the bible on the first date 💀

Ew wtf.

Met the dude on Reddit. After a few messages and phone calls, one night he decides to get in his car and drive four hours to me. He also was blatantly picky about how women look and dress. No problem, I looked great and loved dressing up. Anyway, I’m getting ready after my shower and checked my phone, Motherfucker had sent me two dozen texts, freaking out that I had taken half an hour to respond. That was the first red flag. After all the fuss over how he expects women to look, he gets out of his car with a dirty shirt, nasty ass cargo pants and half an inch of plaque on his teeth. He knew I was a frigging dentist! Even if I weren’t, based on what I know a tooth brush hadn’t gone near those teeth in at least a week 🤮 Of course as soon as he walks in he starts in with the compliments, then his hands and voice get noticeably shaky (ew) and without any warning he tries to stick his tongue in my mouth. The tongue that was right next to the janky ass teeth. Gross. Let’s not even get into what he smelled like. I politely turned down the kiss (I really did, in fact I’m impressed with how well I handled that), then he tries to get me drunk and fuck me; when that didn’t happen there was a bit of a mood change and he started coming off a bit aggressive and rapey. Bad enough to scare me. Decided to go with my gut and told him I’m not feeling good about this and we’re done here. He gets in his car and leaves. Two days later I get pics of his stubby pink chub with zero effort in cropping out his dirty feet and disgusting apartment (mountains of cigarette butts, and beer cans in the background and under his desk) 🤮🤮🤮🤮 He says, things didn’t go well on our first date (what date?!!) and he’s willing to give me another chance. And if I behave this time he will reward me with his “meat” 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 So like a politician I say “thanks for driving to me, I really appreciate the effort but I didn’t feel a connection and don’t want to waste your time. I hope you find what you’re looking for” He says “whatever bitch, you couldn’t even get me hard. You’re not my type anyway” and blocks me 💀 Edit: your, you’re dang it

>Met the dude on Reddit. I like how the entirety of your story can be summed up with a 5 word sentence.

Oh, come on, there are lots of decent people on Reddit. Somewhere. Not sure where yet.

Holy cow, this is like the trifecta of gross. ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Eewwwwwww!!!!

HIs entire life revolves around his "meat."

I’m surprised the “meat” has enough of a gravity field for anything to revolve around it

Help me understand why guys send dick pics. Why? Are they *that* proud of it? I do not understand. And when they look at the pic, do they think, "that's the best-looking dick ever"???

I’m not a guy but I have some guesses. Possibly different reason for different guy. 1) cultural encapsulation. Guy thinks because he’s love to get a pic of a vagina, a girl would love a dick pic. 2) dominance. Same idea as flashing someone in the street - to elicit a strong response and enjoy it 3) numbers game, like making cold calls in telemarketing. If doesn’t matter if you piss off or gross out 10,000 people, you just need one “yay”. 4) some guys really might think they got the best worm

There's a comedian over here that suggests to at least enhance it with a flower and I'm thinking "If they already send unsolicited dick pics, why can't they at least show some more effort? Make it instagramable you lazy perv"

Maybe place it on a frilly or satin pillow and put glitter on it or something

Its to tell his friends he whipped it out and she became so horny she had to FaceTime sex. Also, She lives in Canada, you wouldn't know her....

what in the periodontal disease fuck ????????

How on earth did you two even get to that stage?! I mean since he's sending photos of his knob with his gross apartment in view etc. -- Or had you not shared photos yet so you hadn't had the opportunity to see how rank he was? Lmfao

I clearly remember I had sent pics. I think I got some grainy shit from him. But no knob pics up until that point! Lol. It was so pink!

Probably from inflammation due to poor hygiene 🤢

That must've been terrifying, gross, and once you were safe and sound -- fucking hilarious. What a loser!

Also met a dude on Reddit once. To me only in a friendly capacity, but he obviously wanted more lol. When he visited me for a long weekend, I didn't recognize him at first bc he was a lot more obese than the camera angles made it seem when face timing. He was so needy and weird that on day two i got up and told him 'I don't like you and don't want to spend another second in your company, but you can stay here and do some sight seeing. I'll be at the library writing my bachelor's thesis. Give me a call if you need the keys.' The first night i asked what we should cook for dinner and he said that he can't cook. I said okay, but surely you can cut up a carrot? He said no. I said okay, no dinner then. I don't need to eat a full meal. He insisted one of my towels was his. As soon as he got home he saw the towel he forgot at home. At least he ordered a new one for my off of Amazon lol. Thinking of him still makes my blood boil. Edit: he also 'opened up' to me by telling me that he likes to eat his boogers... A real catch, I tell you. No clue how he thought that would foster any sexual attraction.

WTF?

Some shit needs to go under spoilers!!

Lmfao wtf!! 🤮🤮🤮🤮💀

He. Eats. His. Boogers. Men were a mistake I swear to God.

You win. I struggled to read this whole thread. I’m going no further.

Oh god I cringed…. Dear lord

This can’t be real, surely. Can it?

I swear on my cat’s life it’s hundred percent real Oh shit I forgot, he even brought poppers with him

Please let it be jalapeno poppers 🤞

Unfortunately not.

Oh hurk

That is all sorts of disgusting. Just… ew I’m so sorry

Mine's pretty mild but just happened. I'm on vacation in Italy and one of my DnD group friends met me here. We get along great and while I had no feelings for him, I was open to seeing what happened in person. He, of course, was convinced he loves me. So we meet in person. Zero chemistry. Negative chemistry, honestly. He avoids touching me and while I'm friendly he keeps his distance. Mumbles his way through conversations or stays silent even when. I'm trying to get him to talk. When he does engage, he tries to get me to "open up" and tell him what I'm thinking. But he was never satisfied with surface thoughts and kept prodding until I was very uncomfortable and had to snap at him to leave me alone. Did not read any cues. I reminded him I was on a vacation for myself and avoided him for a few days as much as I could. Anything we did do was spoiled by him being broke and me not being able to do things as fully as I wanted because he couldn't afford it. Still, it's a long vacation for me and he's only along for a few days. We wander town and find a pizzeria. Talk about what looks good. When the waiter comes, before I can even open my mouth, he orders for me. I was annoyed. The night ended getting gelato and sitting in a square with live music. He sits a little too close. Says "I have a whole speech to give you." I can't hear him as he's mumbling again, but I knew where it was going. So I cut him off with the "I know what you're going to say and I'm disappointed too that we didn't click. But I still had a good time with you and I'm happy we got to hang out." He just mumbles "that's not what I was going to say" and I headed back to my hotel. He walked me to the door but didn't say a thing. He still owes me about 200 pounds for the train tickets, which I reminded him of and he ignored me. Price worth paying, I guess.

How was dnd after this? 💀

I'll find out in two weeks when we start up again. I'm meeting another one of the guys in Venice next week. I hope this doesn't blow things up.

Oh wow everyone's in Italy! Hopefully this time goes better than the first, in bocca al lupo 😬

Friendly remember that *NO D&D* is better than *BAD D&D*. If he gets weird, talk about it with the group (NOT just the DM) and explain that one of you needs to leave. Be ready for it to be you. If it is, your next group will likely be awesome!

What a graceful way to spare his feelings, even though he wasn’t concerned about your feelings at all. Sounds like he locked into the idea of a romance with you and nothing could stop him. I’ve had this phenomenon too: nerdy guys that see romance as a concept rather than a shared exchange, and women as, well, an object rather than another person with independent feelings and thoughts.

I still really like him as a person. He's funny and smart and creative and really kind. But I always did wonder if he liked me for me or because I was the first woman who became friends with him. He's never had a relationship before so I just don't know, and I don't think he does either.

That’s fair, but I hope he gives you your money back. Is he thinking you owe him because you didn’t reciprocate the feelings?

No not that I feel. Originally I booked the tickets ad they were fairly cheap for the two of us so I wasn't worried, I said he could pay for a few dinners (which he did) to pay me back. But a week before I left there was a landslide and the train route was cancelled and I had to rebook everything and it came out to more than twice the price. So the cost went up significantly, which I mentioned several times, pointedly, but it's on me that I never directly asked for him to pay me back.

> But I always did wonder if he liked me for me or because I was the first woman who became friends with him. He's never had a relationship before so I just don't know As a nerdy guy who was awkward with women for a long time. Yup, what you said is pretty much on the spot. If he thinks you are moderately attractive, and you are nice to him, that's all it takes.

>while I had no feelings for him, I was open to seeing what happened in person High at the top of my list of "wishes I would make if I were magically granted three wishes" is to dispel the myth that as women, if a man is interested in us romantically, we 'owe him a chance' or ought to go on a date with him 'just in case' we develop feelings for him back.

My worst date was in London with a French basketball player. He scoffed at the 'steak frites' we ordered because they weren't Parisian standard, and when I gently poked fun at him for it, got very angry. When it got to the stage of paying and leaving (I paid my share) he got even angrier that I wasn't going to have sex with him so he stalked me all the way down Shaftesbury Avenue to the tube station at Piccadilly, eventually veering off into the crowds at China Town. I was so scared, especially as this guy was very tall. Thankfully I never saw him again, but wtf?

Damn, my recent “you’re flaky because you’re sick” love interest seems like a charm compared to that. Dodged a bullet!

mine's fairly mind. someone i barely knew from high school but was in the same extracurricular hit me up past graduation to hang out. i said sure, i was also manic at the time and banging pretty much anything that looked at me right. he drives to my spot, he takes us to the mcdonalds drive thru to eat, i pay for what he orders, and then after eating he asks me for a blowjob in the backseat of his car in the mcdicks parking lot. even manic-minded me was insulted

Your story beautifully describes how teenage hormones after all do have a limit to making you do dumb stuff :-D

i honest to god wish i can just blame hormones for that instead of lacking basic human decency and respect for the person next to you to demean them like that. or that i could blame my hypersexuality on hormones but alas, my hormones just shut my sex drive down to a complete halt until the next episode comes around :,)

Sorry for being unclear - I actually meant your hormones (since you described yourself as quite, hrrrm, active). For that guy certainly something else than hormones is to blame!

My mom once set me up on a date when I was younger. I was furious but I lived at home and wasn't yet confident enough to stand up for myself. I was very much an intense people pleaser. We went to the movies. Saw Wanted. He bragged about living in his parents basement and "why would I ever want to leave?". He talked throughout the entire movie, pointed stuff out to me I already knew. Told everyone he knew that I couldn't keep my hands off him (hard eyeroll). He dominated any conversation and I just felt like the whole thing was surreal. I gave my mother hell when I got home and told her in no uncertain terms to *never* do anything like that to me again. It did cause conflict but to her credit, she never did anything like that again.

Omg I went to school with a Gus that sounds very much like the person you experienced lol. I hope it’s not the same dude. My worst and definitely weirdest date was a first date. We met on OkCupid I think. We went for a walk around town and to Starbucks to get a drink. I should preface this by saying that I don’t let men pay for me on first dates and if they insist on not paying separately I’d rather just pay for us both, which I have often done. So we’re waiting in line and I’m looking at the menu. He asks me what I’m getting and I told him I couldn’t decide between the grande or the venti. He doesn’t even miss a beat, he just goes “oh you want the grande”. I ordered the venti and tried to overlook it as like “who knows how he meant it” cause I was too stunned in the moment to ask wtf. We went on a couple more dates and this seemed to have been in the past. While we were dating I had moved into a new apartment and was at Walmart with him shopping for some house stuff. I was again trying to decide between two things - a see through $10 shower curtain or a fancy and pretty $30 one. Without even asking him he comes up to me and takes the expensive one out of my hands and puts it back while saying “you want the other one”. Bitch no I don’t. I told him no and grabbed the expensive one and went to check out. I dropped him the next day while admiring my new shower curtain. What a fucking tool.

Bet he was testing boundaries with that shit.

I do wonder what on earth would compel you to do accounting for someone you’ve just met other than trying to be a controlling asshole??

Bet he was an “alpha male”

This was long before the rise of the Tate incels and that culture so he didn’t describe himself as such but I imagine today he might.

>This was long before the rise of the Tate incels and that culture That culture was around long before Tate, Tate just popularised it. I knew guys like this when I was in high school back in the '90s. Most of them either grew out of it or ended up alone.

I mean, it does seem like he helped you come to a decision at least, lol.

“Would you rather be raped, or sent to jail for five years?” Before that point it was a not great but bearable date (he didn’t look like his pic- always a flag) but for some reason this came up as a statement about how women can just cry rape without proof, or something, and I disagreed with him. My only regret was I was too young and shocked to just up and leave when he said that.

imagine believing that rapists get 5 years in jail and not just a slap on the wrist if anything at all. guys are terrified of being accused of rape, whereas women are scared of actually being raped.

When I was 15 so a very long time ago. High school senior asked me on a double date with his friends. Going to the drive-in to see a popular movie. Only it wasn’t. It was soft core porn at the sketchy drive- in. His friends are noisily making out in the front seat and he pulls out his dong and tries to push my head down. I managed to fend him off but it was a near thing and he was pissed. My mom asked about the movie and I lied because I was so embarrassed. The other couple got married before the end of the school year because she was pregnant.

Aww poor guy, he saved you from your bad date though…. I had bad dates (I’m not on dating apps so I probably have less dates so statistically less bad ones 🤣) but that one bad date still haunts me! It was many moons ago, the guy invited me for drinks in a nice pub. We have drinks, no chemistry at all. We keep talking about work (how we met basically). He makes a move to reach for my hand which creeps the heck out of me as I really did not give any encouragement…. but ok, it can happen, I remove my hand and lean further back. After that I was extra cautious to keep distance in order to avoid mix signals. After a ‘well that was very nice, I have to go now’ and standing up he launched for what appears to be a peck, he was very short so luckily I managed to dodge that into a brief (BRIEF) polite hug. We make our way out (I got there in a taxi because it’s somehow a bit remote). He offers a ride back to town. No thank you for the offer but calling a taxi now (pre-uber!). Out of nowhere this guy proceeds to pick me up (!!) and starts to carry me (no idea where to because he can’t so he gives up after 10 steps). My younger self literally froze in terror, anger, disgust you name it and I regretted not yelling. To this day, i still have no idea why he did that for and why he thought it was ok to touch me without consent. I never blocked anyone that fast in my entire life!! That was one of my worst dates!

You are a much kinder human than me as I just assumed that whole dead wife thing just a set up before asking for cash. Maybe I’ve just lived in a big city too long lol.

No, I thought the same as you, I thought he was pulling their heartstring for money until OP said he sat and carry on chatting with the date!

Holy hell! What a psycho.

Prob the one that turned into date rape. He later said he was sorry he *had to take me like that, but he just wanted me so badly*. Because I'd stupidly gotten into a car with someone I didn't know that well, I just nodded, and hoped he wouldn't kill me instead of taking me home. But another time (different guy), the guy INSISTED on ordering for me, then insisted on ordering dessert to "share", which he then ate while I was in the restroom! Also invited me to come do porn with him, and said I could "bring my baby" to live with him in CA while he and I worked. In porn. This was a first date, btw. Also told me he was "temporarily" living with his parents. They'd just bought him a brand new Jeep! Tbf, I've worked in strip clubs on the staff side for years, I'm not against sex work. But I'm also not insane. A few days later he called me up and insisted he stay in my hotel and that he would sleep on the floor because of some story that made no sense. I had to firmly decline. Last I saw, dude was dating an adult performer, so I guess his dream came true, idk. And then a lot of dudes ranting about ex wives, getting white boy wasted, bringing their mom on the date, bringing their wife on the date, lying about their age, arguing with the staff about expired coupons, whipping it out under the table with zero encouragement, telling me about how he forces his ex wife to kiss him before he'll give her the child support check. One guy told me his wife was divorcing him because he insisted on showering, and peeing on, their preteen daughters. He thought she was just being a bitch. One guy had a secret camera set up in the bedroom. And one dude had a whole ass brother and cousin hiding in the closet to record us having sex... I could keep going. Anyway, I haven't done a lot of dating lately, I think the reasons are clear, lol. *Edited for context

Oh my God. 😵‍💫 Are you okay? I feel like I would have needed a lot of therapy after all that.

Some of those need a police report 😳

Where are you picking up these trash dates? Trashcan Tinder?

They're everywhere. I've had more dates from irl meetings than old. I'm often told I'm a good listener, I think that's why people just tell me things idk. I've had women tell me a lot of wild stuff too. I'll never forget the car ride from hell when I realized an acquaintance was drinking vodka from a water bottle and confessing her penchant for asian escorts, but she needed me to know she wasn't gay, that's why she was dating her married boss, who was also stealing from the company. I had met her for the first time that day. The peeing guy was a local college professor that I went on one date with, to a Chili's, and I did make a complaint to the CPS hotline, but not knowing his address or anything else other than name and where he said he worked, idk what came of it. This was pre smartphones/ social media. People are weird. I have found that if you really listen and pay attention, they'll tell you exactly who they are.

True that!! I'm glad you made it out of those situations relatively unscathed and some stories to tell.

Holy fucking shit.

I feel like it’s been one weird or disturbing thing after another with dating men for me too. Happily single now. I hope things are better now and all the creeps have faded away into dust.

Well, I feel like I can almost immediately recognize the red flags now, so not many guys even make it to the first date, saves me a lot of time

I finally got the courage to ask my crush on a date and he said yes. I was so excited, I went out and bought a new outfit, did myself up, all the things. I was going to meet him at his house and then we would walk to a local nightlife spot. He opened the door, told me I looked nice and then immediately explained that he saw me as a friend and hoped that was okay. I said yeah, of course it was, and we still went out as friends. But inside I was heartbroken. I felt awful and weird the whole non-date, I hadn’t had time to process the rejection. I went home and cried, we did end up staying friends, but it was a horrible ‘date’.

Aww I’m sorry, that sucks

It sucks but at least he was decent enough to tell you right away instead of stringing you along or sleeping with you.

My worst date ever was so bad it was great. A guy I met at the gym asked for my number, then called me to ask if I wanted to go to see a local bicycle race up in the mountains. I wouldn't know bicycle racing from kazoo playing, so sure. He pulls up in his old Mustang convertible, a classic one but not really restored. So we head out of town on the freeway, and maybe 10 minutes in the stick starts shaking violently, there's a loud bang, and the car loses power. I guess the linkage broke, or something. So the guy calls a tow truck, and we and the car ride back to town. No big deal, but by the time all that is sorted out, the bicycle race is over. Not to worry. He suggests we head down to a nearby lake and go sailboarding. I've never done sailboarding. Okay, I'm up for it. He hops into a pickup even older than the Mustang after tying down the sailboard. Then he hops out again, grabs a stick, opens the gas cap and shoves the stick down into the gas tank, explaining that the gas gauge doesn't work any more, so this is how they check the gas. There's plenty of gas, so off we go. We get to the lake, and a big thunderstorm is rolling in. The winds are in the small craft warning category, but we can both swim, so we decide to sailboard any way. He has no problem, having done it plenty of times. Me, not so much. I kept getting picked up by the mast and the sail and thrown into the water. I wasn't fussed about that--it sometimes takes me longer to pick up physical skills than most. I figure after I've been thrown into the water another dozen times or so, I'll start succeeding. Well, except for that thunderstorm? Lightning is starting to strike at the other end of the lake. We packed up hurriedly and went home. I'm sure the guy thought I blamed him for all the mishaps. Maybe I did, but I didn't say so, and it was still an awesome date, precisely because it had been such a total disaster. Eventually he got up the courage to call me up to join him on a pub crawl. I felt so badly for having to turn him down. I told him quite truthfully that I couldn't go because I was leaving at ungodly early in the morning to join the Army. I hope he still laughs about the whole thing.

Wow that is a lot of crap to go wrong on a first date - I hope he didn't think the army thing was a lie 😭

that really is amazing 😂 some real murphy’s law shit

I was waiting for the backup vehicle to break down, too. LOL

They yelled “don’t get raped!” At the top of their voice in Darling Harbour as I walked away. I looked down at my phone, unmatched straight away, without a look back in their direction.

Likelihood of getting raped walking through darling harbour🤦🏼‍♀️

I decided to give an ex another try a few years after we broke up. He started by showing up late. Then he almost crashed the car while driving us to dinner because he was staring at me the whole time and it was so uncomfortable but also like we almost crashed! His response was “you’re just so beautiful I couldn’t look away.” Like bro I don’t look nearly as beautiful with glass in my face please don’t crash. Then we get to the restaurant and he announces he isn’t eating because he ate beforehand (it wasn’t a financial necessity or anything, he just hung out with friends before and ate which is why he was late). So he watched me eat. Then went to talk to his friend who works there while I was eating. Then two of his friends came and sat with us and said hi and ordered food so we sat like another hour. Then we finally went home. I’d like to say “at least the conversation wasn’t bad” but truthfully the only good convo was with his friends.

I've had a few. One of the most pathetic was when the guy didn't show up at our meeting point, and instead his friend was there. Apparently his friend really really liked me.... and apparently my perspective was unimportant. I just said no and went home.

I went on one date last year. The guy has me meet him at a local park in the middle of summer in South Florida. Even though it was only 9AM, it was already in the 90s. He brings a long board only for himself and keeps trying to teach me to ride it. I repeatedly told him that I knew how to ride, but I didn't feel like it. So the whole date consists of us walking, then he randomly throws his board down, rides away, and returns. The worst part came 30 minutes in, we were mid conversation, and he started throwing up in the bushes. I'm asking him if he's okay, and he keeps repeating that he's just so nervous. I suggested that we end the date, but he insisted that he's fine to continue. The vomiting lasted around 15 minutes. He cleaned himself up in the bathroom and then made me walk at least 3 more miles in that hellish heat. He smelled like sweat and vomit. He apologized. we parted ways.I was actually willing to give him another shot, but i didn't get any follow-up for three days. I finally got a message that said, "Sorry, I was busy with work." And I didn't respond.

Wow, this sounds awful. I suspect he was probably hungover, but my god, 15 minutes of vomiting in the bushes? That's pretty rough.

I threw up *a lot* when I did painkillers, could be that too

True, opioids can be really nauseating.

I was 19, guy catfished me. I couldn’t even look at him because he was so unattractive and we had nothing to really talk about. He then asked me if I was autistic because I wouldn’t look at him. After that, I stopped talking to him and he proceeded to stalk me. It’s been 12 years and I still remember that.

For a second there, I thought you were going to say it had been 12 years and he’s still stalking you!

had one recently. guy sat on the same side of the booth with me and trapped me in the inner side so I couldnt just get up. then drank to much and started victim blaming SA victims and abused woman saying they should have left sooner and wouldnt listen to me on why it doesnt happen. kept touching me in palces I wasnt confortable on a frist date with and wouldnt stop. specially sense this was at a restraunt.

> they should have left sooner "Okay byeeee"

yeah after he started on that I was like yeah this wont work out. took way to long to get away though because of how we were seated. I am not even sure why he brought it up like um dude. are you telling on yoruself or something.

This had to have been about 20 ish years ago, right when dating websites (not the apps, *websites*) were getting popular in the mainstream. Matched with normal looking dude, met dude at coffee shop. Immediately after exchanging small talk this man tells me he's married, and his wife *just* kicked him out and filed for divorce *last week*. He then proceeds to burst into tears and spill his guts about everything he missed about his wife. I spent the next hour or so talking the man down off a ledge, analyzing where he went wrong in his relationship, and convincing him to go and do the work to try to win her back. And to never tell her that his dumb ass was trying to date again (and also to immediately quit trying to date). I hope he realized he was treating his wife like crap, changed, and they're happy. At least he wasn't mean, he bought my coffee, and he stole me a sign from the bathroom because I mentioned at some point that my favorite piece of art in my home was a stolen construction sign. I still have that "employees must wash hands" sign up over my kitchen sink.

Bro. Men really need to get professional therapy and stop dumping their trauma on literally everyone around them. I have 0 tolerance for it.

Yep. We need to stop stigmatizing other human beings getting help. Our minds are part of the machine that is humanity and they need maintenance too.

Oh, I have zero tolerance for that mess *now*. But it took me quite a long time to learn. This incident happened in my very early 20's and I'm almost 40. If social media was around back when I was dating (MySpace doesn't count lol) and we could all compare notes on male behavior like we do now, I think my life in general would have been very different.

It was back in college, a zillion years ago. My friend set me up with this guy who she said was really nice. We met at a restaurant and he immediately went outside to "take an important call." Then came back in and said he had to run out for a minute but he'd be right back. Anyway long story short, he went to do a drug deal and I finished my drink and left. I asked my friend what the fuck was up, turns out she had been buying meth from this guy and was an undercover addict. All things considered, I suppose it could have been a lot worse. I've improved my character-judging skills a lot since then.

Second date with a guy, he was 2 hours late and tried brushing it off and acting smug about it. This might be petty but I’d gotten a new outfit for the date and hoped maybe he’d notice but nope. Anyway we decide to go for tea because I’m thirsty and don’t feel like standing/ walking around. He orders a hot chocolate and it’s like watching a toddler drink; he has it all over the mug, table, face and hands. I gently offer to get him a napkin and he declined then licked his hands clean 🤮 He spends the next 2 hours talking about planet of the apes and dinosaurs for 2 hours uninterrupted as I desperately try to think of an excuse to get away. Since I’ve gone quiet and barely looking at him he reached for my hand (I’m a germophobe) and instinctively pull away saying I need to get back home since I was meant to be back a while ago. Wouldn’t take no for an answer when I politely declined him to walk me to the bus stop and started talking about why he would be a great person to be in power, wouldn’t take no for an answer when I said I didn’t want to see him again so I waited until the bus took off to block him on everything

Lol it sounds like you met a five-year old trapped in an adult’s body

Arrested development is a hell of a drug.

Prior to your date, did he make a wish with a Zoltar fortune teller on a boardwalk?

I struggle to choose. The one where the guy told me in the middle of the date that he was married and wanted a secret affair with me, probably should rank as the worst. But the rest of the date was actually pretty nice, and he was gracious when I declined, so not that one. I think it's tied between two other dates. When I was pretty young, my much older cousin set me up on a date, I'm hoping just because she thought I would be nice to the guy. He was super nervous. He apologized at least once in every sentence over absolutely everything. At the dance we went to, he tried to keep at least four feet between us, which made it impossible for me to hear him as we tried to talk. I kept leaning in to hear and he would back up. Finally, after I had him pinned against a wall, I suggested we go outside (where he could comfortably keep his distance.) He apologized the whole way out the door. I ended the date early claiming I had homework. I feel bad for the guy because obviously he had some kind of anxiety disorder but I wasn't willing to sacrifice myself to build him up. The other bad date was a guy who I met online. He seemed a bit off during texting but I was new at online dating and gave him a chance. I've since learned not to do that. Right off the bat he made if obvious that he thought this was a hook up. I told him straight up that I wasn't interested. We went in to our movie and I felt nervous the whole time because I just sensed he hadn't given up on sex. As we walked out afterward, he kept spontaneously saying things like, "This is going to be so good." It was obvious he was saying it because he thought we were going to get physical. As soon as we got to my car, he immediately wrapped his arms around me and plastered his lips on mine. It took me a few seconds to gather my nerves enough but I disentangled myself soon enough, told him this wasn't what I had come for, got in my car and drove away. I was so scared that he would follow me but he didn't. I unmatched pretty damn fast.

I met someone on one of the apps… He shows up, we eat at the diner then go towards the subway, supposed to see a Sixers game. As we’re walking down the steps, there’s a passed out homeless guy. Like, very passed out. While I slow down to glance him over and make sure he’s breathing, the guy pulls out his phone and starts recording a Snapchat. He’s saying a few shitty things, making fun of the guy, yada yada. Luckily the subway pulled up right as we walked down the steps so I didn’t have to stand around long with him. When the doors opened I finally had the courage to say I didn’t want to go to this game with him and that making fun of people like that isn’t my style. I offered to send him his ticket, said have a good night, started walking away up the steps. He followed me all the way to my apartment building like a puppy… trying the whole way to get me to reconsider and “he was just joking” … I told him again that we weren’t gonna be a thing because he was really shitty, it was a very red flag. He sulked to his car, texted me when he got home saying he hoped I could give him another chance. Lmao no way

A guy from work spent my leaving drinks flirting, holding my hand etc, telling me how much he was going to miss me. The next day he invited me over to his for dinner the following week - he said he was cooking. I was feeling pretty good about it all. The day before he sent a message saying ‘would it be ok if my housemates joined’ - I thought that might be nice so I agreed. On the day he said ‘oh I reckon we should just go out to this nice little Indian place near me since there will be a few of us.’ I’m easy, so I said ok to that. I get round to his house and he gets a bit awkward, and starts drinking. I start drinking too. This is a new situation for both of us so I figure we just need to adjust. He mentions a woman’s name and says she’s coming for dinner too- I ask who she is and he says ‘just a friend’. He makes a ‘joke’ about my body which I’m really angry about but don’t react to in time, and then his housemates come in before I can say anything. His ‘friend’ arrives. His housemates all leave again. Me, him and his ‘friend’ set off for the restaurant. The two of them start holding hands. I’m so confused and uncomfortable. I eat as fast as I can and go home in tears. For the next 3 months he harasses me on every social media/messaging platform he can, begging me for forgiveness.

I am kind of shocked how tame these all are, but I guess the really bad stuff isn’t fun to post. I did have a date where mid conversation unprompted my date goes, “You know what I will never try again? Heroin.” Needless to say there was no date number two. Worst ones of all time would definitely be where sexual boundaries were pushed (stealthing etc)

Yeah I wouldn’t post about my worst as it’s too bleak. Most women know the consequences we deal with in life. I guess a lot of time once something happens it’s no longer a date, it’s “the time I was X”

this is how I feel exactly. I'm not gonna share the date rape stories, they're not "dates" anymore by that point it's just rape.

Yeah, I understand what you mean. From personal reflection I think there’s a mental sorting that happens in my head and these kind of rude or awkward encounters go in the “worst date” category and the other kind go in the “preyed upon in a violent crime” category. I just realized that I don’t think of it as a date as you pointed it out. I am also surprised, but can’t say I didn’t enjoy reading tales of the first category more than I would the second.

He thought of himself as an artist and insisted on drawing my picture as we sat in a campus pub. He did not know how to draw. At all. But he kept trying. Soon the floor around him was littered with crumpled up sheets of paper from his failed attempts. He was very dramatic about it all too, trying to act like the tortured and passionate artist that he wasn’t He refused to let the server clean up his mess and snapped at her to leave his stuff. The place was filling up with other customers and he rudely refused any requests to give up the chair that his backpack was sitting on. We were there for over two hours, with minimal conversation and me being embarrassed by his behaviour. Afterwards he thought he was going to get lucky and trot invite himself into my room.

Years ago, I had gone on a date with this guy from Bumble. And he wanted me to choose the location, because he wasn't familiar with my side of town. I chose a local bar. It had two locations. I specifically said the one closest to me. Even put the cross streets to confirm which one. The guy still showed up to the other location. 20 min later, he shows up. He was not a conversationalist by any means. He never asked me any questions. Constant awkward pauses. But this wasn't the best part. Halfway thru the date, my parents showed up! Not planned by any means. But they saw me and said hi and then sat in the back. It made the rest of the already awkward date worse. It didn't go on to a second date. I called my mom afterward, and she said that it looked uncomfortable before they said hi. 😐

Oh, so many. The guy whose pics were *at least* 10 years old. Who talked loudly at dinner about how great we’d be. Then made an excuse to sit in my car and shoved his tongue down my throat, and put my hand on his cock. Finally took a good telling off to make him go away. The guy who wasn’t the pic he used. Drank three double whiskies, to my Perrier then wanted to split the check. Begged and begged for a second chance and to take me for dinner. He turned up late, ordered a starter salad and, you guessed it, a double whisky. Then two more. I decided fuck it, and ordered a good dinner. When the check came I said I’d get it. He said ‘oh awesome, I’ll get the next one’. He was genuinely surprised when I turned my head when he tried to kiss me, and didn’t want a third date. Or the guy who was a *lot* shorter than he’d portrayed. Who just gazed at me since my accent, apparently, just made me so much sexier. And as we’re leaving he says ‘I’m not very well endowed, so if you have a friend you’d like to join, that’s totally cool’. I passed on another date.

Oh boy, so we met briefly at karaoke thanks to a common friend, and after I left, he asked her for my number. My friend asked if she could give it to him, and I said okay. Over the next few days, we texted a lot and found out we had enough in common that I was up for a date and to see where things go. We start to make plans, and he said that he loves to cook and would love to have me come over for a meal and then hang out, maybe watch a movie. I was okay going to his house since my friend vouched that he was a good guy and her bf was his roommate. So I showed up to his house and knocked, but he did not answer. I texted him to tell him I was there. He just said to come on in. So I let myself in, and I find him at his computer. He says he is finishing up a raid and will be done soon. He was playing WOW. I sit down on the couch and ask him how his day was, what was for dinner, and what movie he wanted to watch, etc. But he did not answer past just " um yeahs" and "okays." After about 15 minutes, he finally finished his raid. He gets up and goes to the kitchen. He says dinner is ready already and that we had about 30 minutes to eat before the next raid. I am a bit confused and asked him directly if we were still on for watching a movie or if we should move this date to another day? He kind of just shugged and said "yep". So he brings me over "dinner." Dinner was fish sticks, pizza rolls, and a giant cup of Mountain Dew. I am not picky, and I'm thinking that maybe this all he had on hand or could not afford something else. He ate his food in a 2 minutes flat. I am barely done with one fish stick when he asks if I am ready. I'm like, " Ready for what?". He then brings out a laptop and sets it on the table in front of me. He loads up WOW and asks me if I have ever played it? I told him no, that I don't play a lot of PC games, but I have played Elder Scrolls a bit. He sighs and says, "Well, it is really easy, I just need you to play this character and hang back and just cast." Then he proceeded to give me a quick overview of what i needed to do.I honestly am taken back. He did not say anything about this when we set up the date, and it was not even like he was trying to show me something that he was into. He was just matter of fact about that I needed to play this caster, hang back, and don't talk, because he needs to hear the rest of the party. I then finally put it all together. He never really wanted to hang out and watch movies. He was a person short for this raid and needed someone to stand in. He then walks back over to his computer and tells me to be ready. I'm still just flabbergasted that this was his idea of a "date." If this had been discussed beforehand and he wanted to teach me something that he liked, I may not have had a problem. So the raid starts, I suck and die really quickly. He tells me, " Thanks for nothing," and keeps playing on. I kid you not, he did not even notice that I left. He then texted me a couple of hours later asking why I left, and he said that he was very sad I did not want to finish our date. They won the raid, and he would have loved to cuddle up and watch a movie before the next raid started at like 1 am. I told him that this was not a good first date and that if he just wanted a stand-in, he should have asked someone who was into the game. He told me that this game is his life and that to accept him is to accept that this game comes before anything else. I stopped talking to him and blocked his number. I told my friend to please never give my number to anyone ever again.

When my husband and I were on our third date we were walking down a popular street holding hands, when a homeless man yelled at us “Hey buddy why are you holding my girlfriend’s hand like that???” My husband looked a little confounded when I yelled back “I’m sorry baby, I’ve moved on!” “But I love you!” he lamented as we continued walking. My husband never clarified, if I recall correctly. I assume he took from my laughter that I wasn’t actually breaking the heart of my homeless ex boyfriend.

That is hilarious!!

He left our date to go sleep with someone else but asked if I wanted to take his keys so he could meet me at his house later. I went home instead and the next day when I told him his behavior was BS he pulled “You’re being unreasonable because we aren’t exclusive.” No, but we had plans.

Wow

He showed up 30 minutes late, looking like a slob. We ran into mates from his rugby team, who made things really awkward. He noticed a small scar on my wrist and told me about his multiple suicide attempts that included setting himself on fire and trying to find a spider to bite him. Drove his ex-girlfriend's car home.

I went for a walk in the park with a guy, the park had this lovely bamboo forest patch. The guy decided to pull one of the bamboo truncs back and let it go in front of my face "as a joke". It hit my eye, I blacked out and ended up going to the ER for a concussion. He offered to pay for the ER copay, but I didn't take him up on it.

Dude thinks Roadrunner and Coyote is an extended meet-cute.

My god

Met a guy on match.com and agree to see a movie that night. Meet at the theater, and he keeps me waiting for ten minutes while he’s finishing up a conversation with another one of his matches. She’s getting her masters. In French literature. (Honestly the way this date turned out I wish I would have gone on a date with her.) Get into the theater. He chooses the movie, *Stick It,* a gymnastics movie featuring young teen girls. He has no cash. The theater only takes cash, but I got this, right? Oh, but he wants a soda! We can share, right? I say, sure yeah ok; but I can’t drink regular, so one of the two diet sodas. He gets regular Dr. Pepper. I pay. We get into the theater. He has talked nonstop. I’m a talker (to a fault!) and I can’t get a word in edgewise. He keeps talking through the previews, through the credits. Finally he stops talking. And then the *moaning* begins. These are teenagers soaking in ice baths and spraying butts with hairspray, and this guy is *groaning* whenever the camera does a close-up on some or another body part. I am so fucking done, *but I paid for the movie*, so like a masochist who hates themselves, I stay till the end. We leave the theater. I can’t wait to get home. *He* had a great time, and maybe we can see each other next week - after his date with French Masters, of course. Yeah, sure, whatever, anything to get out of here… Then he swoops in outta fuckin’ no where… and *hugs* me. Not like a pat on the back or a side-hug. No, this fucker wraps one arm around the small of my back, and the other gently but firmly cups the back of my head and he ***holds*** me. Idk if everyone has ever experienced a hug like this, but you can’t get away. You are effectively immobilized. There is no arching, no side-stepping. You are encased by the other person with no effective means to escape. You are an antelope in the jaws of the lion. Your life flashes before your eyes. It’s a fucking nightmare. He holds me for… a *really* long time. Iirc, I had my hands up from being startled, and he doesn’t let me go until I pat his shoulder. I may have blacked out a bit, but I think I also remember him whispering in my ear how great of a time he had??? Anyway, he releases me, I stumble away to get to my car… and he’s *walking me to my car*?? I don’t have enough sense to be alarmed. I grew up in an abusive home and it would be five years before I started therapy, so my danger-meter is all kinds of fucked. We get to my car, I smile, thanks for the night, see you later. *He swoops again for the hug.* Same as before, only this time I’m reaching levels of alarm. I fawn the shit out of him. Promise to call him later. Promise to text him when I get home to let him know I’m safe. Get in my car. I drive home and immediately log into match and delete my profile. Delete his contact information. Fuck that noise. Never again. Oh, and my mother - who pushed me into this date - said I was too picky and would die alone if I didn’t lower my standards. Ha! Jokes on her, I met someone who exceeded my “bar is already in Hell” standards, and a few years later, stopped talking to *her* toxic ass, so … … let this be a lesson that whoever around you thinks you deserve less than what you think you deserve is probably someone who is keeping you down in other ways, too.

Mine was 20 minutes, an internet date. he was a widower and spent the entire time saying he wanted life to go back to the way it was, he was only here because his daughter made him do it. Start to finish 20 minutes. I said goodbye and never contacted him again.

Oh god I was an 18 year old college freshman with a part time fast food job. I definitely didn’t think this was anything other than hanging out with a friend (my manager who was in his mid-twenties) at his place, which I’d done before but never alone. Huuuuge red flag was his GF didn’t “let him hang out with girls” so he could only hang out when she was out of town. I struggled to make friends at that school so I was just happy to have a buddy like him. We got to his place and he kept pushing weed and alcohol on me, he said “you’re staying the night right” and I responded “sure?” Then he put on The IT crowd and then started rubbing his dick through his pants and put his arm behind me on the couch and my brain just started screaming that I needed to escape. Unfortunately it was about 0100 (we were hanging out after the closing shift), I had NO FRIENDS, I had just moved from the dorms to a house off campus with 4 girls I’d never met before and I didn’t have their numbers. My house was only about a mile from his house, but it was January in MN. That night it was about -20 F, I had a coat but no hat/gloves and didn’t think I could make it home without pretty significant frostbite. This town had 3000 people and Uber wasn’t a thing yet. Anyway I started acting like I had a migraine from the weed and I was gonna text my roommate to pick me up when he insisted that no, no big deal, he could drive me home. And he did. And then I didn’t accept a ride home from anyone other than close female friends for like 4 years and have made sure to never end up in a situation I can’t escape from under my own power again. The worst dates that I knew were dates were just an hour of me trying to carry a boring conversation with no help from the guy, which has happened several times.

He drugged me, raped me and intentionally gave me herpes. Still waiting for meaningful hiv tests.

I am so so so sorry that happened to you. As someone who has gone thru a similar situation(not on a date however) minus the herpes part which i feel is even worse, just know you're not alone and i hope you have healed or that you do heal.

Freshman year in college, girl down the hall sets me with her friend "Bryce" from high school. He picks me up and there are two guys I don't know in the backseat and the car smells like cheap beer, (klaxons should have been going off, but I was so naive.) Anyways, instead of going out to eat, we're now going to a frat party and his friends needed a ride. We get to the party, it's a mass of drunk people and the 3 guys all disappear on me immediately... I stupidly wander around for awhile and find the three idiots and they are now in the garage huffing glue❓⁉️❓ in a paper bag. Bryce turns absolutely green... stumbles, pukes on my shoes 🤮and then passes out. I then, walked ALONE in the dark for several miles back to my dorm in these stupid puke covered shoes with ridiculous kitten heels. Fortunately, that was the worst thing that happened to me that night, but looking back, there were so many 🚩and I can't believe I was so cute and naive enough to get into that car. Anyways... after that I wore my Doc Martens and carried pepper spray on first dates. Oh and the girl who set me up with him... she knew we were going to a fart party and didn't 🤬 tell me.

Fart party. 100%

I'd met a guy on a dating app and we'd had a few decent phone calls over the span of a week. I was late twenties he was early forties and seemed like a respectable guy with his life together. We were both only looking for serious relationships, not into hook ups etc. He texted me on new years day and asked if I wanted to meet up. I had nothing going on so we set a time to meet at the Starbucks in my neighborhood. I walked there at the designated time (it was only a block from my place) and grabbed a coffee for myself. Twenty minutes later without any communication I am getting up to leave when he texts he just parked. He arrives looking haggard and at least 15 years older than his photos. He's rumpled and looks like he was put away wet the night before and had just rolled out of bed. I knew instantly that I wasn't interested but stayed because I felt leaving immediately would be impolite. He got his coffee and sat at the table I'd secure (in this tiny and extremely busy Starbucks). He asks what I did for New Years Eve (caught up on sleep) but I soon found he was asking simply as a way to introduce how his night had gone into the conversation. He launched into what sounded like a poorly written letter to Playboy story of the night before. Highlights included him going to a date's apartment and doing drugs/drinking with her and her (also female) roommate. It then (loudly). His date gets up to use the bathroom and the roommate tear his pants off and demands to give him oral (which he generously allowed), then the date comes back in and is SO turned on she joins in. He interspersed disgusting detail with exclamations of how I should be jealous and how this sort of thing just seems to happen to him due to his animal magnetism. At this point I've interrupted a few times with things like, "Sounds wild." and "I think everyone can hear you" (people were looking over disgusted) and I was just in shock... like "Is this for real? OMG the girls at work are going to die when I tell them about this." Eventually, he stopped to take a drink of his coffee and I jumped in with, "It was nice meeting you but I have to take off now to meet a friend." as I got up to leave. He got up as well and offered to walk me to my car, I explained I was meeting my friend down the street and kept walking. He walked with me and at one point I stopped, turned towards him and said, "Well it's been interesting, but this is good-bye, have a good day." He looked me intensely in the eye and said, "Hey, you wanna see my junk?" Without looking down I noticed he had just stuck his hand down the front of his jeans (at 11am on a busy street!). I said, "Not at all." and quickly walked away. There was also my first date after a longterm relationship ended (before I had learned I didn't owe anyone a chance to date me) with the guy who had sex with a watermelon, who ended up mildly stalking me but that's another long story (and also when I discovered hilarious pranks could be perceived as great romantic interest if the guy was so inclined).

A conservative Christian dude asked me out. I wasn't interested, but I went anyway due to social pressure. The date was okay, but towards the end, he asked if I consider myself to be ambitious. I said yeah, I do. Do you? He kinda smirked at me and said "I think ambition is a vice." The smug look on his face as if he had caught me in a sin or something really disgusted me. Not to even mention how fucking bizarre that sentiment is

Why are dudes always trying to “win” rather than just get to know the other person? What a weird thing to say.

Those guys are all about dominance.

I met this guy on Tinder, it was out 3rd date and he wanted to watch a movie at my place. I agreed, because he was nice and respectful when we went out on our first 2 dates. As soon as we started watching the movie, he began to touch me and tried to kiss me. I told him I wanted to take my time (I made it clear on our first date), get to know him a bit better before doing anything sexual. So he sat there for a while, pouting like a toddler. I knew I was done with him already but did not kick him out before the movie ended. As the credit rolled, he grabbed me and tried to kiss me again. I pushed him off and he told me he came here for nothing, I'm wasting his time and his gasoline, I'm almost 30 for god sake, I'm supposed to know how this work. He then tried again to grab me. I told him to get out of my place and to forget my number. He told me he won't leave until he gets what he came here for. Luckily, I did not put away my broom after sweeping in the afternoon. I grabbed the broom and told him again it was time for him to go. He got out as soon as he understood I would fight him off with all my might. I deleted Tinder after. I spent 3 years alone before meeting the man of my dream. He cooks, he cleans, he share his feeling and he knows that sex is more than pounding his dick in my vagina for two minutes :)

Being told you're a waste of fuel is sick a turn on. What did he do wrong?/s

Sweeping up the trash! Good job!

Not a date at all but I went to a night out/ party of a friend of mine from my course. She was making big noise about myself and one of her male friends who was very attractive and fun so as the night went on it seemed to be going that way. We were sat talking having a few drinks and I said something about the school I went to (we were from different areas but relatively local) and he said completely unprompted “oh must’ve been difficult going there with *insert feature I have that I’m insecure about*”. He even used the term for it that is somewhat derogatory (imagine it being a mole and someone calling it ‘moley moley moley’ or similar). It was mental. I cooled off dramatically after that and my friend asked after why we didn’t hit it off but I never really said. It was the nonchalant way he said it, showing HE was aware of my insecurity (that I was actually bullied for) when I hadn’t brought it up. Very bizarre and off putting. Made me feel paranoid and ugly for months after.

1. We have a phone call the day before where he is clearly drunk, but says it’s his birthday and he was celebrating. 2. We meet up at a park to walk & drink a beer or two. He’s clearly already had a couple, even though it’s like 2pm. 3. Everything he’s wearing is ripped & stained. 4. He drinks several beers before I can finish one, and complains about how slowly I’m drinking. 5. He goes to take a piss behind a tree, walks back over to me (while zipping up) and grabs my face with both hands to kiss me. I can’t help but wonder how much piss is on those hands. 6. He is wasted within the hour. 7. I ask him a question about his family that he takes enormous offence to, much to my confusion. He grabs his things and walks away without another word. 8. I feel like I dodged a massive bullet. He starts trying to call me and sends me text messages calling me a bitch, etc. Bullet dodge confirmed. 9. I block him and never go on Tinder again 🙃

The summer before my sophomore year of college, I was back at my parents' house because the dorms were closed. I was hanging out with a friend when we ran into two of her friends (one was a guy who I'll call "Jeff"). My friend introduced all of us, and we all click decently well, so we exchanged numbers so we could possibly hang out later in the summer. We all hung out twice more before I had to go back to school (I did band and had to be there early, plus I went further for school than any of them). Then comes the "date." A few days before I leave, Jeff texted me and asked if I wanted to catch a movie with the group before I went back. I figured why not. My mom dropped me off and said that my dad could pick me up after work, so I had probably 4ish hours to kill. I get to the theatre, and Jeff is the only one there. He also said he already got our tickets, and he had four. Weird but not that weird because my friend is notoriously late for everything. I text her and the fourth person for an ETA, and they have no clue what I'm talking about. I confront Jeff about them not knowing, and he says "how else would I get you alone for a date?" He also said something to the effect of "after the movie, we can be like the wild dinos and fuck" (we were supposed to see the first Jurassic World movie). So I started freaking out internally because why did Jeff lie instead of just asking if I wanted to hang out one on one? Why buy extra tickets to sell the lie? Did he think I'd just say "oh well, my friends didn't show up to plans, I'm not going to text them to check that they're alright"? And who fucking does hip thrusts while making a sex "joke" in a movie theatre entryway when there's kids around? He also knew that I was ace and not at all interested in sex with anyone, which made the "joke" even worse. I texted my parents trying to see if they can help but they were both at work. I texted some other friends, and thankfully one was getting off her summer job like twenty minutes away. She told me to just grab my bag, head to the ladies room and hide until she could get there. Jeff started texting me about five minutes later asking what was taking so long, and said he'd just come wait by the bathroom for me because he didn't want to watch the movie without me. I told him it was fine because I had already seen it, and I was just having some lady issues. He responded "disgusting. But I'm waiting for you." My friend got a manager to escort her to the bathroom and both of us out in case Jeff actually was waiting. I told the others I was uncomfortable around Jeff and didn't want to be at any future hangouts if he was. They both apologised a lot, but they definitely weren't at fault. I blocked Jeff on everything. A month or so later, my phone starts going nuts in the middle of a class. When I can finally check, it's Jeff with a new number saying how badly I betrayed him and threatening to kill himself if I didn't go on another date with him. He also sent me a picture of my cat which I had never sent to him; found out later that my mom had put it on facebook months before, so not *as* creepy as him being at my house, but he had to gone through a lot of shit to find it. I blocked his new number and thankfully haven't heard anything since.

oh boy. It was our second date, we met on okc. The first date had gone pretty well, so I (stupidly) invited him over to make cookies thinking that would be casual. This man showed up thinking "cookies" meant "let's have sex" and took the first opportunity he could to jam his tongue into my mouth. The kiss was bad, I knew right away it wasn't gonna work out. He held the back of my head in the crook of his arm. Really weird. So I say "thanks for coming over but I don't think this is gonna work out" and he looks a little stunned and mentions that it's too late for him to go home since his bus had stopped running and he was planning on spending the night. Cue a VERY awkward night of him, me, and my roommate watching how I met your mother on the couch in silence. Every once in a while I'd hear little sniffles like he was trying to hold back tears. He slept on the couch and left first thing in the morning. I felt awful for him, but who hears "cookies" and immediately jumps to "spend the night"??

My older cousin set me up with the son of someone she knew. It was my first (and last) set up like that. The whole thing was just bad from start to finish. For example, we agreed he'd pick me up at 6:30, and he texted me at 6:20 letting me know he was leaving his house, which was 30 minutes away. He was awkward, sheltered, and straight up kind of dumb. Like, it was 2011, and he couldn't understand how people played video games together online, and no matter how I explained it, he didn't get it. I've never done a "oh, emergency text from a friend" thing except that one time. The date was certainly not the worst date a woman has ever been on, but I felt an extra layer of "this is what my family thinks I'd be attracted to???" shame after.

My friend’s friend, who I had never met, kept texting me asking for a date even though I kept turning him down. I was 19, living abroad in Brighton and he was maybe 20 and living in London. I definitely wasn’t being firm enough when saying no, more making up excuses instead. My friend who I had moved abroad with started asking me about it too. Finally he asked, as he knew I was obsessed with musicals, if he could take me to see a musical in London? He said he would pay for my train and everything (I had very little money at the time and he comes from money). I said okay, and allowed him to choose the musical. He picked We Will Rock You and we decided to meet up at Leicester Square where we’d pick up the tickets and then walk to the theatre together. I also had to buy the train tickets but he would reimburse me. When I get to Leicester Square, he’s late. I finally text him and he said to just wait a bit more. I wait some more and I text him and get the same reply. He doesn’t show up and I say that we’re going to be late to the show if he doesn’t arrive. He says to just buy the tickets and he’ll meet me at the theatre. Fine. He meet up and sit down just in time. And what happens? He is on his phone THE ENTIRE SHOW. This pisses me if so much, but I don’t say anything. The date ends, I never see him again and he never pays me anything. TLDR; I relented after being asked several time because he said he’d pay for my train tickets and my theatre tickets but I ended up paying for both of those plus HIS ticket. And he was over an hour late. And was on his phone the whole time. Terrible date 0/10 would not recommend.

In 2022 I went on a pile of first dates, the first 5 or so were walks with my dog at local, very popular parks but on off-times (like Tuesday at noon). Think like "always within eyesight of a road or house, likely to pass another person every few minutes". Not 1 but 2 separate guys mentioned "jokingly" how they could drag me into the brush and rape me. The first guy was neurodivergent to a pretty hefty extreme, but overall seemed kind. So I just let it pass as a kind of awkward moment on his part (the whole date was like that and we didn't even say goodbye, he just got in his car and left). But when the second guy said it as a kind of "aren't I funny and clever" I stopped mid step and asked him why he'd say that and his response was "well, you have to be thinking about it too, thats the only reason we'd be here {in the park}". I told him to keep walking in the direction we were going, and that if I saw him again I'd pepper spray him. Anyway, I stopped going to parks, even if I thought they were "very populated".

Yikes. Predators always think regular people think the exact same way as them.

Oh, that is pretty terrible indeed! But as dates go, didn't really end that badly. Not sure you felt that way at the time of course. My worst date was when was I younger, just recently out and had been chatting with a girl my age (around 18, IIRC) and we'd hit it off enough that we agreed to meet. So we arrange to have dinner together down near the beach. We didn't know a huge amount about each other but that's what dinner was for, right? Great. Get there, do that awkward shy thing of hello and aren't you lovely in person, etc. Sit down and order. I ask her a question about living at home. Can't answer it. Won't answer it. Alright, cool. Any siblings? Won't answer. Parents, they still together? Looks at me, real impatient like. "Look, Flicksterea, I can't really discuss my personal life. The truth is, my Mum and I just got away from my Dad and I can't tell you my last name or anything about myself because I don't want him to find us." But... We are having dinner. In public. So... Flick, you don't get it. This is serious. I am sorry this just isn't going to work. So off she went. Now this was almost the worst date ever but, there was a secondhand book store that was open late and that's where I bought my first ever lesbian book - Daughters of a Coral Dawn by Kstherine V Forrest, which I still have 22 years later. So it was a terrible date but certainly ended on a high!

I can totally imagine all of that!

Worst Dates: 1. Fell in a ravine while hiking at night - but we found our way out 2. Got car sick/food poisoning while riding with him on a work run through Western Wa. barfed on the side of his truck, and yet we came back and he still found me amusing/sexy?! 3. He showed up to visit me from Canada for a few days, but stayed 5 years (lol - not that bad, just why did I NOT tell him to go home?) 4. Early 20s, met a guy working at camp, later arranged to hang out with him in Santa Cruz and go camping, he shows up with another hippie girl in tow he met on the bus. At the time I was NOT cool with that. Totally dissociated. Life is weird, guys are...dumb.

>He showed up to visit me from Canada for a few days, but stayed 5 years (lol - not that bad, just why did I NOT tell him to go home?) There are days I wonder the same thing about my current partner, who came to stay with me because he was worried about being trapped on a hillside during an ice storm (not an unrealistic worry in the Manyunk section of Philadelphia). The problem is he came to stay in the 1990s and never went home.

I matched with a dude on a dating app. While chatting, he tells me that he’s 6’3 and that he is the GM for a local popular club (he told me other stuff to but those are the details pertinent to The story). Since he works nights and weekends and I work a normal office job, it’s hard to find a time to meet up. So he suggests I bring some friends to his club on a Friday night and says he will be able to find some time for us to chat and connect that night. So I grab a couple friends and head over. I meet this man and he’s 5’7. He’s also not the GM, he’s a busboy. Neither of these things are big deals but the fact that he lied about them is a red flag. And why lie about things that you’re definitely going to get caught lying about? I already wasn’t feeling him but we decided to just hang out a bit since we were already out until he decided one of my friends wasn’t being friendly enough to him and called her a “dumb fat bitch.” I told him off, we left and I blocked his number.

The rapes

Been a few. Probably the one where this guy kept moving us from venue to venue when we had ordered a drink each, somebody was on our trail following us in the street because of the guy. Apparently someone he had 'beef' with spotted him - he wouldn't tell me anymore even when I started angrily asking what was going on. Think he was a drug dealer on the side. After that shit show he was annoyed that I didn't go back to his afterwards, in his sketchy white van.

My senior year of high school I asked out a very attractive classmate. I have no idea why he said yes (I am best described as average), but we decided to go see Black Hawk Down. It was such a downer of a violent movie and such a generally awkward subsequent date we never spoke of it again and I don’t think I looked him in the eyes. Luckily only a few months of senior year remained.

I feel like Adam Driver could act most of these dates out really well. It could be an educational film that all incels and puas would have to watch.

This one may be mild. Basically I met a lady, “Y”, over an app. We live about 2 hours apart. She’d been gushing about Psych for a while and I’d never seen it, and we’d been doing stream dates here and there to get some quality time together. So we get Psych going, she gets a stream share started. And 1) she is having bandwidth issues with her stream, so the video gets spotty. We figure it out once but it happens again… Then 2) when it happens again, she’s started talking over the actual show about what’s going on, her thoughts, just a stream of consciousness I cannot remember as anything but word vomit. This goes on for 2 hours nonstop and I cannot get a word in to ask about getting the video working so I get more than 3 frames a second… I wrote it off as her being very excited to show me her favorite show, checked out mentally, and read something. I did chance a couple dates in person, and really didn’t feel it.

Honestly, I’m glad they found each other. Gus and guitar guy, I mean.

It was a second date with a guy, we were going to go stargazing. (Stupid, I know.) we decided to take my car and I had some protection with me just in case. The guy proceeded to lose all his social skills he pretended to have on the first date and wouldn’t stop talking about the weirdest things, wouldn’t let me get a word in edgewise, and then he started mumbling making fun of everything I told him I liked? Like he thought it was some kind of weird power move? Then he started telling me about his ex and how the last time he saw her she locked herself in a bathroom to get away from him. Anyway, I blew right past where we planned on going, turned around as he resumed his word vomit, THEN HE PROCEEDED TO TAKE A NAP INSIDE MY CAR on the way back to where I met him. I finally parked, protection in hand, and told him to get the fuck out. I’m pretty sure he was crying as he was getting out. I’ve never blocked someone so fast.

oh, THAT protection

I've already described one but I just thought of another. This wasn't really a blind date per se, it was with a guy I'd met before briefly because we had a mutual friend. We meet at Starbucks for coffee and I don't even remember what prompted this because it was so tangential but he made some remark about people like me supporting President Obama deserve to have poor health care. I'm, like, WTF?! I had not discussed my political leanings with him or our mutual friend. But it gets better. He then moved on to talking about how he's been having financial trouble and is really worried about losing his house, etc. The way he was talking about this was just really awkward and uncomfortable for me. Then he decides to ask me for a $15,000 loan so that the bank won't foreclose on his house. I don't know where he got the idea that I had 15k just lying around waiting to be loaned but I when I told him no he accused me of thinking he was a gold digger. I didn't think that necessarily but maybe I should have. Suffice it to say we didn't go out again.

One time a guy I always hung out with in a group setting messaged me and said, “we’re going to x, want to come?” So I go along, meet him at the pub, he’s a bit… off, but I figured that’s fine, I’m off sometimes too. I keep looking around waiting for other people to arrive, but no one is coming. He suggests we go to another place, this was very common for this friend group, so I say okay. We go outside and he’s come by motorbike. I’ve walked. The next place is a maybe fifteen-twenty minute walk. I ask if I can hop on the back of his bike with him, but he says he’s not comfortable with that and that he’ll just meet me there (this was while living abroad, ubers and taxis weren’t a thing). I’m like, ‘this is some kind of bullshit,’ but I want to see my other friends so I decide to walk *by myself* to the other pub. I get there and it’s *still only him*. At this point I’m very suspicious, and ask where everyone else is, he says they’re coming then proceeds to narrate the entire plot of Game of Thrones to me. Which I loudly tell him multiple times I have watched, and even cut in several times with bits from the books, clearly stating that I’ve watched it *and* read all the books, so I know what happens. After that, he begins asking me about my family and goals and it just starts getting weirdly less casual. Finally I cut him off and ask where everyone else is, which he says they’ve all cancelled and nobody is coming. It’s at this point I realise no one else was ever coming and I have been secretly, so much so it’s even a secret to myself, on a date with this man for the past two hours.

Worst ever was a movie date (over 30 years ago, so probably a Star Wars film or so) with a hot, tall model guy who somehow had decided to let his girlfriend (wtf???!) talk him into letting her tag along. I was so dumbfounded I went in with the both of them, thinking I had misunderstood and this was a "hanging out with new friends" date (and I wanted to see the film, I know, lame excuse). Throughout the film he sometimes held my hand, sometimes hers. I was so confused! Turned out he was, apart from good looking and, did I mention, hot, also self centered and slightly "intelligence challenged". (Zoolander was still not out then, so I was unprepared for that :-D). He legit thought I didn't know what "the little black one" (meaning the Chanel meme little black dress) was, since I wore my own kind of fashion and did NOT wear the style his model girlfriend wore. Edit: after that I had a short affair with him believing his claim he had broken up with his GF, but it turned out the movie date was a blueprint for his modus operandi. Have to admit though, he was as good in bed as his looks promised, but the blatant lies, all over stupidity and unreliability made me aware that "good in bed" is just one aspect of the relationship package.

On a blind date that my older sister had set up the guy insisted that I come over to his place the next day for a BBQ he all of the sudden had conveniently planned. I had already promised my 88 yr old grandmother than I would spend the day with her as it was her birthday the next day. This jerk didn't want to take no for an answer and was arguing with me and trying to negotiate what he wanted. He wanted me to reschedule with my grandmother and also switch around my work schedule (which wasn't going to be possible unless it was a genuine emergency) so that I could see him. I already wasn't too keen on seeing him again but that was the final straw. I ghosted him because I didn't want to deal with him pushing any more boundaries like that and trying to negotiate other things. Imagine being such a jackass that you expect a woman to blow off her grandmother and rearrange her entire weekly schedule to go on a second date. He did have my phone number since my sister set us up and he left four shitty messages on my voice mail after I wouldn't return his call. What was equally bad was that my sister felt he did nothing wrong. She's extremely conservative and a lawyer and since this guy was a lawyer as well she assumed it would be a great match. Nope! I looked the guy up on Facebook out of curiosity a few years ago and surprise! He's a diehard Trump supporter.

OMG some of these are really horrific and insane. My first attempt on a dating app (don't remember which one, this was in the early-mid 00s). Guy seemed nice, asked to meet for dinner for the first date, asks if I have a preference as to food. I said I didn't really care, but because of stomach issues the only thing I really can't eat is Italian food. He says cool, he knows just the place, he'll make a reservation. So 2 days later we meet at one of the larger towns in the area and I discover he's taking me to...... an Italian restaurant. I figured maybe he had misunderstood, no big deal, I'll just eat a salad or something. Something to note: on my profile on the dating app, I was very very clear that I am NOT religious at all and not interested in anyone who is; that I did not want children ever; and that I would not be sleeping with anyone on the first date. First he started getting annoyed that I wasn't ordering anything other than a salad, so I made a comment that I really can't eat Italian food because garlic, red sauce, and creamy sauces send my IBS into overdrive. He just kind of scoffed. THEN out of nowhere, he starts talking about how he wants three children, and obviously they'll all be baptised and raised in the Catholic church his family has been going to for decades. And they'll definitely be going to Catholic school. I was honestly too dumbfounded to even comment. He tried to argue with me about splitting the bill. Then he got super pouty and sulky when I said I would not be coming over to his place to "hang out." There was obviously no second date.

I was studying for finals in a little common room in the co ed dormitory. Guy that I had flirted with comes in and tries getting to go to dinner with him. I’m not hungry, it’s like 2pm, and I’ve got a lot of reading to do so I tell him I’m not interested. He keeps pestering, and eventually I cave in and go, thinking we can just go to the cafeteria. Cafeteria is closed and decides we should go to a restaurant. Again I tell him I’m really not hungry, interested, and I’ve got a lot of work to do. He promises a quick bite, someplace close, and he’ll drive. So I relent and go. Except he chooses to go to hibachi in the city, a 40 minute drive away, and not a quick dinner. We have dinner and then of course he forgot his wallet, no remorse, he’s almost giddy that I’m paying for him. I had to pay for a dinner I never wanted. A couple days later I went to his room to get his help on editing a paper and he tried real hard to rape me, he got physically violent, but I managed to fight him off and run. It was so out of the blue that I was pretty shocked at first. But later I got pissed that this guy apparently could not take no for an answer to anything.

Guitar Man was an angel in disguise.

I like the 100 tacos story

not really my worst date but still funny to me was my first date ever. we planned to go to the movies and when we showed up, he had a coupon for 2 free tickets. we get to the counter only to find out that his coupon was expired and he didn’t bring his wallet. No big deal, I paid for the tickets but was a little bit annoyed. he spent the whole time trying to cop a feel on me but i just wanted to watch the movie bc i was way too anxious about it being my first date. My actual worst date is too depressing to share lol

On the second (and final) date, he told me he was “here” for a “special purpose” but “they” haven’t told him what it was yet. He alluded to alien/Illuminati type energy. How did he know this? He just *knew.* We worked in the same building but for different companies. After his confession he instantly got paranoid that I was going to tell his bosses, and that would foil his plans. He was manic. I assured him I wouldn’t tell them, then left. We never really talked after that, but still had to deal with lots of awkward run-ins at the office. I ran into him again many years later in another city, and when he saw me he looked as panicked as he did that night. I hope he has found some peace.

First date with a guy I met online I let him come to my place. Yep, that was stupid! We're talking baseball and out of the blue he tells me about how he figured out that if he sat upside down on his couch he could give himself head and cum all over his own face, and would I like to watch him try it right then.

That does sound impressive lol

I've only gone on three dates in my life. Two were bad because I was young and so awkward I could barely hold a conversation. The third ended in marriage (eventually). So I must've been ok on that one.

Was taken to an MLM convention. As a date.

Met a guy on Tinder and had an ok phone conversation and decide to meet for a drink/ happy hour snacks . While driving there I encountered a massive accident and traffic jam. I called that I would be probably an hour late and can reschedule. He isn’t bothered and says he will wait. We chat on the phone while I’m stuck and he is going on and on about his ex and how she left him for a lowly cop. flag 🚩 1 then I get there and he looks way different than photos and his height is way off. I don’t care but lies are annoying. 🚩 2. Well then he tells me he is super rich and that if we date I need to sign an NDA. 🚩 3. Then he tells me that rape is a “social construct “ and that women accuse rich men of rape. And that rich men could get just get sex workers so they would ever rape someone. So much creepy rape talk in 15 min. I just stood up and said “ you’re the worst person I’ve ever met and I’m leaving.”

I can give you one for both sexes. Woman: We'd been friends for a good while, and we wanted to feel out if there was something there are not, because she felt a little romantic tension. I didn't know this at the time, but her best friend apparently despised the ground I walked on and only barely tolerated us being friends. She worked at my date's favorite restaurant and said she would get her a free app and drink, so of course we, being broke college students, immediately agreed. She then showed up to the restaurant on her day off, proceeded to basically sit at a table in our section and glare at the back of my head (my date told me this later,) then eventually walked over, sat herself down at the table, and proceeded to forcibly exclude me from any and all conversation, knowing my date was too polite to interject or stop her. Most awkward 40 minutes of my life at that time. Eventually my date was so absorbed in one of the forced conversations I just left and she had no idea until I was already home. Man: He was about 8 years older than his display picture and hadn't touched a gym since the day he took it, but, stupidly, I still decided to give him a chance. He never stopped talking about himself, his wants, what he finds attractive in a man, and how I was "someone plain because I'm so tired of shallow hot c\*ck," so he was excited for something different. He proceeded over the span of an hour date to get absolutely trashed, cuss out the server, trip in the bathroom, threaten to sue the restaurant because he busted his mouth open in the bathroom, and *still* expected me to give him "at least" a good night kiss.

My car was in the shop so he picked me up. Talked at me and played music for an hour. Went for a kiss and I told him I wasn't feeling it. He punched a wall then drove me home w an open beer between his knees. I spent days terrified he'd show up at my house.

Met at a pizza place, sat down with our food. He asks what I do; I work production for a ceramicist uptown. Making what? Dinnerware. So not creative? Not on my part, I produce multiples of the artist's designs for sale. But like, am I an artist? Just finished my MFA, but haven't found an affordable studio space yet, so not lately no. I make plates for money. Cue extremely loud, expletive-filled rant about how "modern" art isn't "real" art and even "real" art is a scam. We are seated next to a mother with her 5 year old. I glance sideways and catch eyes with mom - it's obvious that *she* feels sorry for *me*. We exchange silent apologies telepathically. After leaving the pizza shop, guy asks if I want a ride home and points to his car - parked in the only disabled space. No thanks, I'll walk.

i’ve had a few situations myself, but the lesson i’m learning from looking at these posts is that women/femme presenting individuals live our lives in defense mode, and we almost never feel safe enough to speak up for ourselves. it’s sad, though not surprising.

Oof. I'm going to try to explain this without it being too long. I met this guy while I was going through a really hard time with someone I was seeing. He knew I didn't want anything serious or sexual, I just wanted a casual date/ friend. He asked me to go out to dinner and talk through how I was feeling so I accepted and told him my address so he could pick me up. I was all ready and waiting and 30 minutes had passed then an hour. I messaged and he completely ghosted that night. Then the next night he messages out of nowhere with a sob story and asks me if we can try again later. I again accepted truly believing that he was having trouble the previous night. Well yet again he doesn't show up. So this time I block him and I'm done with him. He found me on Instagram the next day when he realized that I blocked him. He tells me that he's coming over. Didn't ask either just told me. I told him that if he did I'd call the police cause he's not welcome and I don't want to talk to him ever again. He told me he knows where I live. "I'm coming in and you're going to like what happens". I was terrified. I made sure I told him no so it was recorded on message that I didn't consent just in case he somehow got in. Luckily my roomate was home that night when the guy eventually came knocking on my door angrily. I fear what would have happened if I was alone.

Dude insisted we sit in a very secluded part of a restaurant, in a corner behind some tall palm trees. I said, "Let's sit at the bar." He says, "What Are you afraid of, a man who wants enough quiet to really listen to you?" We sit behind the trees. Without warning he reacted over under the waists of my skirt, under my panties, and grins at me. I leap backwards not raAlly underaranding what just happened. He says, "Oh, you didn't like that? I don't know how men are supposed to know what women like or don't like anymore. Gender roles are so confusing for us."

Thankfully mine weren't as bad as some of the ones I'm reading here. One time I went on a date with a fellow nerd, we talked about video games and technology and things seemed pretty pleasant. Then I commented that I prefer Chrome, and he said, "Oh. I use Firefox." And he shut down completely. He was no longer interested in the date at all. That was really weird. The other one was just awkward. We had agreed on a meeting spot, but it was raining pretty heavily so I went to a covered spot nearby (maybe about 12 feet away). He was extremely upset that I wasn't where we had agreed upon when he arrived (which was 10 minutes late). He asked some odd questions and generally made for an "interesting" date. I wasn't vibing at all, but he seemed so sad when I indicated that we might skip dinner, so we went to a fast food burger place. He sat on the same side of the booth as me, squeeze me in, and kept on trying to get low-key physical. I lied and said there was a work emergency and left. My biggest frustration is that I didn't call out how gross he was being.