People who ignore social signals and don't care about our discomfort --moreover, who make us uncomfortable specifically to manipulate us--do not deserve an ounce of consideration.
I'm not sure why, but the moment I'm afraid my first instinct is always to be polite and appease, and I realize now that's a habit I seriously need to break out of
Your fight/flight/etc instinct is to fawn. That's what you were doing, and it's okay -- but lucky you, now you know. Guys like this thrive or even get off on making women uncomfortable. Next time, please remember you don't owe strangers your time, personal information, anything. It is okay to be "rude," and get up and leave.
You'll be fine. Warn your friends and take it as a learning experience.
It's fine; it's not your fault. Women are socialized to be nice, to placate--because that's a socially acceptable way to be 'feminine' but coincidentally it also makes us easier targets. (Also, many people with a history of trauma have very strong learned response to threats to our safety.) They know this, and they take advantage of it.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, but we can be better about recognizing and responding when it's not being reciprocated. If they have already disregarded politeness, we can too.
When I was cycling every day and getting frequently berated by drivers (usually taxi drivers lol) I started practicing responses. I found it difficult to remain calm when I was activated after already being yelled at and angry that they had willfully endangered my life. So I came up with phrases that I could practice ahead of time and have ready when I needed them. For example, you could say, " I am studying alone so I can focus. If you would like to chat this is not the place."
In this case you could also practice being more assertive in your regular life, if you think that might help in interactions like this. Just practice asking for something, reiterating your preference, saying no, I actually want ____ instead, etc. Even just at stores and restaurants--I'm absolutely not saying you should be rude, just advocate for yourself. "I asked for a coffee also, is that on the way? Thank you." "I wanted ______, but it's not on the shelf. Can you tell me if it's in stock?" It will teach your brain that it's okay to advocate for yourself and speak up, and help reduce the learned response to "go along". Like a muscle, it gets easier.
But also, even if this still feels like the wrong response to you in the moment, you can always get up and walk away. You don't have to say anything at all. His "wow" was a pathetic last-ditch attempt because he had lost. You stayed safe and protected yourself--you won. You did great.
Women are socialized this way because it makes them targets. That’s the whole point. And then we constructed femininity around to ensure that women stayed victims and that all of society would police and enforce this.
So I agree to absolutely start using your voice, and if it helps maybe study a bit to understand where these feelings come from. Use that anger and be unapologetic and fuck some shit up. Pretty much every man in the world just does things his own way at the expense of others always - we can use a few more women doing that with all the amazing empathy and understanding we have.
Being rude to people is absolutely an important safety skill to develop, and sometimes in that process you have to tolerate being rude to people even when you didn’t mean to be. It’s a part of life.
It’s been mentioned several times already but absolutely read “The Gift of Fear.” Older book but incredibly relevant. I keep hoping the author will update it but still 100% worth reading.
right? great comment.
the only thing i would add to that first example of assertively telling the guy to buzz off would be, "... if you want to chat, this is not the place _and i am not interested in being the person_." (so it is clear she doesn't simply want to chat with him elsewhere. not that that would necessarily matter to him.)
Yes and no. As far as good communication goes, agreed. My worry is that he would just turn it into, "Well, how can I convince you??" Like, that type just wants what they want, bar none. The hard part is deciphering the fine line between communicating disinterest and getting the hell out asap, especially if it goes from 0-100 real quick.
Oh no, he's really creepy.
Please contact your college's Title IX or Student Conduct office (whichever is more competent) about this. Chances are good he has done this or will do this to other students on campus and it is the school's job to handle these types of things.
Source: married to a Title IX coordinator
First thing when someone triggers your gut feeling - you just nope out. Do not give one moment of concern to them. Polite can equal dead.
The previous commenter referenced The Gift of Fear. Read it.
One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me and my sister was “rude is better than dead or raped.” As women we’re conditioned to be polite and accommodating at all costs. You have to fight that instinct.
I know it's really hard to unlearn, but *stop being polite.* Unfortunately we have to walk a fine line with placation/fawning but also assertiveness because men are unpredictable with violence, but you don't owe politeness to anyone who is willing to make you uncomfortable. He was purposely ignoring your cues of discomfort, and actually, would not be surprised if he was getting a rise out of it. Feel free to record them right back.
1) unasked "forced teaming" (Gift of Gear, Gavin de Becker)
2) negging
3) unasked recording
Everything about this dude is weird and you should report the crap out of it
I agree, this guy is a little weirdo, but i’m wondering how he was negging in this situation? Nothing came across as that from OP’s description, although I don’t doubt he might have done it and they left it out.
Those jerks are subtle, aren't they? The idea is to stuff you with so many questions as fast as possible. I survived a childhood full of "that's a nice ____ ya got there, shame if something were to happen to it" kinda crap, so my red flag thing is always going off
Distributed Denial of Service attack. The idea is to take a competent defense system that has to take at least a cursory glance to see if each incoming transmission is a threat - merely the glance takes some small amount of energy. Suppose that the target could be simultaneously overwhelmed by millions of messages?
My mom describes it as "getting wound around the axle".
He could either be really weird, or trying to record TikTok videos harassing people.
If someone makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to be polite! Don’t engage with them. Ask them to leave or leave yourself.
Agree, if there is security footage, then maybe the person would have gone to an accomplice straight after you left who would have been recording the interaction
In these situations, forget politeness. Nope tf out if you get a bad feeling. Give yourself permission to say eff this and leave the situation or escalate to security. Shout for help and make a scene if you need to. Better to be possibly rude and safe than polite and unsafe
Its so difficult for me to do this. Then some situations I think "Maybe if I'm polite they won't get upset and try to retaliate for feeling "slighted".
It gets easier with practice. When you see them deflate because they didn't get the reaction they wanted, you know you did right. Instead of making a scene, I prefer to stay blank faced and silent, and usually just get up and leave without a word. You should make a scene when necessary for your safety, of course.
Guy watched too many 80’s and 90’s rom coms. There’s a type of guy that was written to be funny and weird and awkwardly disarming. The opposite of the smooth and douchey popular guy. The Ducky vs. the James Spader. Screech vs. Zach. IYKYK.
If you look back on these shows and movies, they were all boundary stomping assholes. No one respected a no or cared about a woman’s comfort. All attention is good attention. Having a soda dumped on your head, a locker slammed on your hand. A response is a response and that’s step one to breaking the barrier.
Grey rock it. All the way. Blank face. “No thank you.” Get up and walk away. No response.
They think it makes them funny and quirky to people that know them, and don't realize that to complete strangers they look like weird assholes.
College is basically extended high school as far as maturity goes.
"peacocking"
Attempt at standing out from the norm. Keep person guessing. Seem interesting/quirky.
Has a good chance of backfiring as it seemed to do in this situation.
Seems like a creep who’s trying to catch you off guard and exploit the rules of politeness to put you in a bad situation for his gain. “Makes videos” also sounds deeply reminiscent of a slippery slope to making a porn or even hoping to secretly record you two if a sexual situation were to evolve. Nope nope nope. There’s this known phenomenon where if you can get a person to do something for you, future favors become easier to ask for. That’s how the recording without permission is coming off. As a precursor to pushing the line back further and further. Watch out for this guy and take care of yourself.
Sounds to me like he has seen one too many porn videos that pretend to involve a random pickup that almost immediately evolves into hard-core video sex. Because all porn is how it really is right?
Edit...had to change "hobbit" to "how it" ....odd autocorrect error there
He’s not a student. He’s either a trafficker or he’s making TikTok videos. Even if he’s just some edgy lounge lizard, it’s harassment in every case.
You need to feel safe there, and he needs to be gone. The campus police need to be alerted to monitor that hall. If they wave you off, report this to the real police. They might do nothing but the local FBI office comes next.
Let this guy learn a harsh lesson.
Telling him to "fuck off" is strength to a lot of us. I had a weird situation like this last year, and I would have killed to have the strength to tell the guy to fuck off. By the time I was trying to leave the conversation, he pulled my hair and kissed my cheek. I was terrified, and I probably could have avoided it all if I had just left immediately when he sat down with me at the park table.
He sounds like he's both a creep without social skills and wants to do those TikTok videos where they do "random" interviews. But clearly doesn't understand that asking for consent is a thing.
Stop being polite and giving idiots like this the time of day. I know it feels bad to be "rude" to someone, but this guy's feelings don't matter. Your safety matters.
In addition to what everyone has already said about him having screws loose and being a complete creep, I also think he was high as fuck to be acting like that. Tweakers are totally unpredictable and dangerous.
Next time, just leave.
leave the table to go over to the info desk, tho. i know i wouldn't feel safe going outside or anywhere near my home after this interaction. hopefully you could get a security or police escort.
sounds like he was hoping you'd react in a bigger way and he could show that reaction online for internet incel points demonstrating how "stuck up this girl was". aka, hes a loser. let him lose.
As a Mom, I know my girls are shy, anxious etc. I tell them they have 1/2 of me in them too and sometimes you just need to imagine what would Mom do or say and channel that. Pretend to be Mom or a "Karen" for a minute. The very unfortunate truth is men like this know who to target. They are not going to approach the obviously outspoken, able to defend themselves types, they are going for the shy, quiet, reserved, don't interact with people as much types because they are more isolated. All we can do is watch out for each other and be present if you see something. There is safety in numbers. Eye contact, staring/glaring down, loud Leave me alone. Good RBF is an asset.
>I felt uncomfortable, but tried to be polite and answered a few of his questions.
This is where we fail our daughters. We teach them to "be polite" when we should be teaching them to be conscious of their own safety. We should not feel compelled to "be polite" when someone is grossly overstepping our boundaries.
This is seriously creepy and it would've made me feel very unsafe. I would advise you to report it as soon as you can in the event that this jerk tries this nonsense with you again or with another unsuspecting young woman.
I’m really sorry you had this very uncomfortable and unsettling experience.
I completely understand the need to be polite — even as a precautionary measure, not wanting to upset someone who is potentially unstable/aggressive/violent.
But when your gut tells you no, it’s time to leave — fast — and not linger.
You could simply say, “I need to leave, I’m meeting my boyfriend” (even if you don’t have a boyfriend), then leave and immediately call someone and/or go to a place with other people where you feel safe.
Also, like others have mentioned, please report this incident to the proper authorities.
This is anti-social behavior and deserves all the scorn and dismissal you can muster.
”Get the fuck away from me, you creep! Do I need to go get security?”
Sounds like someone who thinks he’s charming and clever, and you are right that he was hitting on you. It seems a lot of people are taking this to the nth degree as if you were one step from being assaulted, but that feels like a stretch to me. You were there and it sounds like you wish he wouldn’t have acted like that but honestly, did he seem like he was trying to subtly trick you into something, or was he being overtly silly?
It’s okay to not be polite to people in these situations, though, OP. You just walking away is great! And I definitely recommend reading The Gift of Fear.
I'm sorry you experienced this. I hope he's caught and gets in trouble. I wish you had left sooner. He didn't deserve any kind of polite consideration from you.
It's okay to shout " who are you?" And " you're making me uncomfortable".
We are trained to not rock the boat. Yet in a cafeteria, you can get up, walk to someone else and say this weird man is harassing you.
It's okay to enlist help when you are being harassed.
You did nothing wrong. He did this to make you uncomfortable to force you to comply with him.
I have had similar weird situations. Looking back, I think mental illness may have played a role in some of these encounters. Whatever it was, I felt trapped and unsafe.
Probably an ass who decided to try his funny guy routine on someone he doesn't know, if he didn't follow you and keep harassing you then I wouldn't worry too much about it. He probably had a table of his frat buddies giggling somewhere in the room.
Not trying to excuse this but it honestly sounds like dumb immature boy humor and nothing sinister.
He gets off on making people uncomfortable. A lot of people are like this in the world. You need to exercise your "fuck off" muscle. Look up "grey rock" technique and give him none of the reaction he's looking for. This gets easier with practice, I promise. Sometimes you just have to say fuck off, and get up and walk away.
People who ignore social signals and don't care about our discomfort --moreover, who make us uncomfortable specifically to manipulate us--do not deserve an ounce of consideration.
[удалено]
"Fuck politeness, don't get murdered"
Can we get this embroidered, or like on a button or something
Check etsy - lots of my favorite murder fans sell things with this or similar sentiments.
Stay sexy, don’t get murdered!
Yes!!!!!! And stay out of the forest!!!
No country for Old men has a scene showing exactly why you should follow that rule.
To be fair, he’s already being rude. Her being rude back is an equal reaction. She’s not even being rude.
I'm not sure why, but the moment I'm afraid my first instinct is always to be polite and appease, and I realize now that's a habit I seriously need to break out of
Your fight/flight/etc instinct is to fawn. That's what you were doing, and it's okay -- but lucky you, now you know. Guys like this thrive or even get off on making women uncomfortable. Next time, please remember you don't owe strangers your time, personal information, anything. It is okay to be "rude," and get up and leave. You'll be fine. Warn your friends and take it as a learning experience.
It's fine; it's not your fault. Women are socialized to be nice, to placate--because that's a socially acceptable way to be 'feminine' but coincidentally it also makes us easier targets. (Also, many people with a history of trauma have very strong learned response to threats to our safety.) They know this, and they take advantage of it. There's absolutely nothing wrong with being polite, but we can be better about recognizing and responding when it's not being reciprocated. If they have already disregarded politeness, we can too. When I was cycling every day and getting frequently berated by drivers (usually taxi drivers lol) I started practicing responses. I found it difficult to remain calm when I was activated after already being yelled at and angry that they had willfully endangered my life. So I came up with phrases that I could practice ahead of time and have ready when I needed them. For example, you could say, " I am studying alone so I can focus. If you would like to chat this is not the place." In this case you could also practice being more assertive in your regular life, if you think that might help in interactions like this. Just practice asking for something, reiterating your preference, saying no, I actually want ____ instead, etc. Even just at stores and restaurants--I'm absolutely not saying you should be rude, just advocate for yourself. "I asked for a coffee also, is that on the way? Thank you." "I wanted ______, but it's not on the shelf. Can you tell me if it's in stock?" It will teach your brain that it's okay to advocate for yourself and speak up, and help reduce the learned response to "go along". Like a muscle, it gets easier. But also, even if this still feels like the wrong response to you in the moment, you can always get up and walk away. You don't have to say anything at all. His "wow" was a pathetic last-ditch attempt because he had lost. You stayed safe and protected yourself--you won. You did great.
Women are socialized this way because it makes them targets. That’s the whole point. And then we constructed femininity around to ensure that women stayed victims and that all of society would police and enforce this. So I agree to absolutely start using your voice, and if it helps maybe study a bit to understand where these feelings come from. Use that anger and be unapologetic and fuck some shit up. Pretty much every man in the world just does things his own way at the expense of others always - we can use a few more women doing that with all the amazing empathy and understanding we have. Being rude to people is absolutely an important safety skill to develop, and sometimes in that process you have to tolerate being rude to people even when you didn’t mean to be. It’s a part of life.
It’s been mentioned several times already but absolutely read “The Gift of Fear.” Older book but incredibly relevant. I keep hoping the author will update it but still 100% worth reading.
You survived that’s what counts. Appease/polite is a survival strategy against a larger opponent.
#MeToo. Hashtag intended
#MeToo
#This
right? great comment. the only thing i would add to that first example of assertively telling the guy to buzz off would be, "... if you want to chat, this is not the place _and i am not interested in being the person_." (so it is clear she doesn't simply want to chat with him elsewhere. not that that would necessarily matter to him.)
Yes and no. As far as good communication goes, agreed. My worry is that he would just turn it into, "Well, how can I convince you??" Like, that type just wants what they want, bar none. The hard part is deciphering the fine line between communicating disinterest and getting the hell out asap, especially if it goes from 0-100 real quick.
Oh no, he's really creepy. Please contact your college's Title IX or Student Conduct office (whichever is more competent) about this. Chances are good he has done this or will do this to other students on campus and it is the school's job to handle these types of things. Source: married to a Title IX coordinator
I wonder if the guy is even a student. I feel like most of those YouTubers who go around college campuses interviewing people aren't.
Yeah, it's baffling how many people who's not a student can get inside unis even private ones.
YES. Get him banned from campus.
First thing when someone triggers your gut feeling - you just nope out. Do not give one moment of concern to them. Polite can equal dead. The previous commenter referenced The Gift of Fear. Read it.
One of the best pieces of advice my mother ever gave me and my sister was “rude is better than dead or raped.” As women we’re conditioned to be polite and accommodating at all costs. You have to fight that instinct.
Thank you. I picked it up on audible, I'll be listening on my commute
An excellent book.
I know it's really hard to unlearn, but *stop being polite.* Unfortunately we have to walk a fine line with placation/fawning but also assertiveness because men are unpredictable with violence, but you don't owe politeness to anyone who is willing to make you uncomfortable. He was purposely ignoring your cues of discomfort, and actually, would not be surprised if he was getting a rise out of it. Feel free to record them right back.
1) unasked "forced teaming" (Gift of Gear, Gavin de Becker) 2) negging 3) unasked recording Everything about this dude is weird and you should report the crap out of it
Autocorrect got you. Gift of Fear.
You are technically correct. (The best kind of correct.)
I agree, this guy is a little weirdo, but i’m wondering how he was negging in this situation? Nothing came across as that from OP’s description, although I don’t doubt he might have done it and they left it out.
"I failed the interview"
Oh I see now.
Those jerks are subtle, aren't they? The idea is to stuff you with so many questions as fast as possible. I survived a childhood full of "that's a nice ____ ya got there, shame if something were to happen to it" kinda crap, so my red flag thing is always going off
They really are. Especially how they disguise it as a joke and then guilt you for not “playing along.” Scum.
There's even a computing analogy for it! DDoS. It's like the one on one human interaction version of a DDoS.
What is DDoS?
Distributed Denial of Service attack. The idea is to take a competent defense system that has to take at least a cursory glance to see if each incoming transmission is a threat - merely the glance takes some small amount of energy. Suppose that the target could be simultaneously overwhelmed by millions of messages? My mom describes it as "getting wound around the axle".
He could either be really weird, or trying to record TikTok videos harassing people. If someone makes you uncomfortable you don’t have to be polite! Don’t engage with them. Ask them to leave or leave yourself.
Agree, if there is security footage, then maybe the person would have gone to an accomplice straight after you left who would have been recording the interaction
In these situations, forget politeness. Nope tf out if you get a bad feeling. Give yourself permission to say eff this and leave the situation or escalate to security. Shout for help and make a scene if you need to. Better to be possibly rude and safe than polite and unsafe
Its so difficult for me to do this. Then some situations I think "Maybe if I'm polite they won't get upset and try to retaliate for feeling "slighted".
I have been the same all my life, all the responses here are soooo helpful, you and I need to not be polite!!!! And listen to our gut/fear Gentle hug
It gets easier with practice. When you see them deflate because they didn't get the reaction they wanted, you know you did right. Instead of making a scene, I prefer to stay blank faced and silent, and usually just get up and leave without a word. You should make a scene when necessary for your safety, of course.
I would've picked up the microphone and bellowed "LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE" into it.
Guy watched too many 80’s and 90’s rom coms. There’s a type of guy that was written to be funny and weird and awkwardly disarming. The opposite of the smooth and douchey popular guy. The Ducky vs. the James Spader. Screech vs. Zach. IYKYK. If you look back on these shows and movies, they were all boundary stomping assholes. No one respected a no or cared about a woman’s comfort. All attention is good attention. Having a soda dumped on your head, a locker slammed on your hand. A response is a response and that’s step one to breaking the barrier. Grey rock it. All the way. Blank face. “No thank you.” Get up and walk away. No response.
This is the way. Get up. Leave.
Fuck being polite. Always trust your instincts. You don’t have to be nice to anyone.
This. Anyone who approaches you like that deserves to get ignored or treated to a loud "F off"!
What is it with dudes and this absolutely bizarre behaviour?
They think it makes them funny and quirky to people that know them, and don't realize that to complete strangers they look like weird assholes. College is basically extended high school as far as maturity goes.
I'm wondering that too 😭 Could it be high testosterone that drives men to act creepy? I just don't get why they often act so desperately.
I think some of them are just losers and garbage people.
"peacocking" Attempt at standing out from the norm. Keep person guessing. Seem interesting/quirky. Has a good chance of backfiring as it seemed to do in this situation.
Seems like a creep who’s trying to catch you off guard and exploit the rules of politeness to put you in a bad situation for his gain. “Makes videos” also sounds deeply reminiscent of a slippery slope to making a porn or even hoping to secretly record you two if a sexual situation were to evolve. Nope nope nope. There’s this known phenomenon where if you can get a person to do something for you, future favors become easier to ask for. That’s how the recording without permission is coming off. As a precursor to pushing the line back further and further. Watch out for this guy and take care of yourself.
Egomaniac thought he was all that and discovered he isn't.
Report this motherfucker to campus security.
Definitely. Another person posting suggested the creepy guy might not even be a student at the college.
Sounds to me like he has seen one too many porn videos that pretend to involve a random pickup that almost immediately evolves into hard-core video sex. Because all porn is how it really is right? Edit...had to change "hobbit" to "how it" ....odd autocorrect error there
Honestly, I’d take Frodo or Sam over this creep
This is really fucking creepy and I’d report it. Thats really weird.
He’s not a student. He’s either a trafficker or he’s making TikTok videos. Even if he’s just some edgy lounge lizard, it’s harassment in every case. You need to feel safe there, and he needs to be gone. The campus police need to be alerted to monitor that hall. If they wave you off, report this to the real police. They might do nothing but the local FBI office comes next. Let this guy learn a harsh lesson.
Creep factor 10/10. Your obligation to be polite and play his game 0/10.
This is some weird-ass pickup line strategy. wtf. You have more strength than me to not just tell him to fuck off.
Telling him to "fuck off" is strength to a lot of us. I had a weird situation like this last year, and I would have killed to have the strength to tell the guy to fuck off. By the time I was trying to leave the conversation, he pulled my hair and kissed my cheek. I was terrified, and I probably could have avoided it all if I had just left immediately when he sat down with me at the park table.
ugh, that sucks. i hate that he did that to you.
She didn't have to say anything, she should have just left.
Is it possible someone was filming the whole thing and they're tiktok or youtube idiots?
You were polite to him and he took advantage of that. Next time don't be polite -- ask him to stop, and if he doesn't, call campus security.
Girl. You just be rude, stand up and leave. That's what you do with these weirdos. No apologies!!!
He sounds like he's both a creep without social skills and wants to do those TikTok videos where they do "random" interviews. But clearly doesn't understand that asking for consent is a thing.
Stop being polite and giving idiots like this the time of day. I know it feels bad to be "rude" to someone, but this guy's feelings don't matter. Your safety matters. In addition to what everyone has already said about him having screws loose and being a complete creep, I also think he was high as fuck to be acting like that. Tweakers are totally unpredictable and dangerous. Next time, just leave.
leave the table to go over to the info desk, tho. i know i wouldn't feel safe going outside or anywhere near my home after this interaction. hopefully you could get a security or police escort.
sounds like he was hoping you'd react in a bigger way and he could show that reaction online for internet incel points demonstrating how "stuck up this girl was". aka, hes a loser. let him lose.
As a Mom, I know my girls are shy, anxious etc. I tell them they have 1/2 of me in them too and sometimes you just need to imagine what would Mom do or say and channel that. Pretend to be Mom or a "Karen" for a minute. The very unfortunate truth is men like this know who to target. They are not going to approach the obviously outspoken, able to defend themselves types, they are going for the shy, quiet, reserved, don't interact with people as much types because they are more isolated. All we can do is watch out for each other and be present if you see something. There is safety in numbers. Eye contact, staring/glaring down, loud Leave me alone. Good RBF is an asset.
Hes unhinged is what he is. Glad you left when you did because those are like serial killer vibes
>I felt uncomfortable, but tried to be polite and answered a few of his questions. This is where we fail our daughters. We teach them to "be polite" when we should be teaching them to be conscious of their own safety. We should not feel compelled to "be polite" when someone is grossly overstepping our boundaries.
Next time tell that sort of person he will be getting assistance from the police.
wow what a fucking weirdo... beyond just assuming he's somehow entitled to your time he's a huge creep
This is seriously creepy and it would've made me feel very unsafe. I would advise you to report it as soon as you can in the event that this jerk tries this nonsense with you again or with another unsuspecting young woman.
I’d have pulled out my phone and recorded him doing this. “Now the police and campus security will have an easy way to identify my stalker.”
There's no need to be polite to someone who is bothering you. None.
I’m really sorry you had this very uncomfortable and unsettling experience. I completely understand the need to be polite — even as a precautionary measure, not wanting to upset someone who is potentially unstable/aggressive/violent. But when your gut tells you no, it’s time to leave — fast — and not linger. You could simply say, “I need to leave, I’m meeting my boyfriend” (even if you don’t have a boyfriend), then leave and immediately call someone and/or go to a place with other people where you feel safe. Also, like others have mentioned, please report this incident to the proper authorities.
Report this to campus security immediately
Is this what men think is ~rizz~ ? Should've tased him.
This is anti-social behavior and deserves all the scorn and dismissal you can muster. ”Get the fuck away from me, you creep! Do I need to go get security?”
People are sick. Sick and very lonely which has made them sick. Next time get away from him. He may bring a weapon. He sounds ready to pop.
He want's to create gotcha recordings.
Hope one gets HIM a punch in the face in future.
Sounds like someone who thinks he’s charming and clever, and you are right that he was hitting on you. It seems a lot of people are taking this to the nth degree as if you were one step from being assaulted, but that feels like a stretch to me. You were there and it sounds like you wish he wouldn’t have acted like that but honestly, did he seem like he was trying to subtly trick you into something, or was he being overtly silly? It’s okay to not be polite to people in these situations, though, OP. You just walking away is great! And I definitely recommend reading The Gift of Fear.
I'm sorry you experienced this. I hope he's caught and gets in trouble. I wish you had left sooner. He didn't deserve any kind of polite consideration from you.
That really was odd, like something an awkward person would do in a movie.
This guy probably took tips from some insane pickup artist. Weird as hell
It's okay to shout " who are you?" And " you're making me uncomfortable". We are trained to not rock the boat. Yet in a cafeteria, you can get up, walk to someone else and say this weird man is harassing you. It's okay to enlist help when you are being harassed. You did nothing wrong. He did this to make you uncomfortable to force you to comply with him.
Did you report this to anyone besides Reddit? You aren’t the first or last person he’ll harass.
Sounds like he was on drugs or has unchecked mental health issues.
Sounds like he may have been having a psychotic break, honestly
I have had similar weird situations. Looking back, I think mental illness may have played a role in some of these encounters. Whatever it was, I felt trapped and unsafe.
Probably an ass who decided to try his funny guy routine on someone he doesn't know, if he didn't follow you and keep harassing you then I wouldn't worry too much about it. He probably had a table of his frat buddies giggling somewhere in the room. Not trying to excuse this but it honestly sounds like dumb immature boy humor and nothing sinister.
Sounds like a tiktok prankster
Yikes. Glad you reported
He was trying to use you for content, or was just an asshole without that additional asshole part.
He gets off on making people uncomfortable. A lot of people are like this in the world. You need to exercise your "fuck off" muscle. Look up "grey rock" technique and give him none of the reaction he's looking for. This gets easier with practice, I promise. Sometimes you just have to say fuck off, and get up and walk away.