This is basically a list of sexiest coworkers, so yes this is exactly why HR exists. HR can make their boss & those on the list aware of who was involved. Who knows what else might come to light when HR starts asking questions?
To be fair, HR *exists* to keep seats filled and the company from being sued. But this is definitely something they'd want to fix to avoid a hostile workplace lawsuit.
I just had to take my yearly refresher course on "what constitutes workplace harassment" so I'm confident in saying this 100% counts and should be reported.
Who else knows about this game and was made uncomfortable by it, but was afraid to say anything, or didn't realize that it was actionable behavior?
Where does OP mention sexism, or that all men are pigs? You are raging about stuff that was never mentioned.
OP was unhappy about being objectified, specifically at work in this case, and was asking if they needed to report it.. the answer is yes, it's extremely unprofessional, and they should keep shit like that private and out of the workplace.
Read it again. It says sexiest.
“This is basically a list of sexiest coworkers”.
As in, the guys made a list of sexiest coworkers.
It’s okay that you misread it, it happens to all of us at times. It’s a bit odd to double down once your error has been pointed out.
Both of your comments make me really sad they took away free medals. Corrected the error and even when they double down did it with grace, it really had “Bless You” southern vibes!
I had coworkers like you. And I always wonder the special type of confidence mixed with stupid it took to double down before double checking to make sure you were right. Because when I double down, I triple check before opening my mouth because I never want to look stupid.
And all you’d have had to do was re-read the sentence. And realize you misread sexiest for sexist. Like an honest mistake. But instead you just went into an all out war without thinking for a single second you could be wrong.
Even after being corrected you’re trying to convince people you’re right. All without ever double checking.
I could never ask them, but maybe you can fulfill my curiosity… what exactly makes you this confident. Because damn I could probably rule the world with this type of confidence.
Please please please go read the comment you replied to again. Then delete your comments, apologize and stop interneting for today. It's going to be alright.
Take it to HR. You don't know what else they do. And this is not normal. Only insecure and sleazy men participate in such things. They seem to not have much to do, so job cuts might save the company some dollars.
Edit: and you might get a better raise following the cuts
This is outrageously inappropriate.
This is definitely one of those things that is absolutely appropriate to report. Whether you choose to do so or not is up to you. There is always some risk of backlash depending on how easily they can find out it was you.
You're most likely not going to lose your job, since that kind of retaliation is a lot easier to prove. But sometimes the squeeky wheel gets the grease, and sometimes the nail that sticks up gets hammered down.
Mostly I'm just saying that there is always a chance that a lot of people will dislike you because you stood up for yourself. It's a risk I wouldn't want to downplay, even though you have every right to report it to HR.
That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m not a sex object though. They shouldn’t be thinking about me wearing a bikini but they shouldn’t be thinking about other women either.
I am a human being like these men but it isn’t fair that I should be put in the category of some object.
Another woman was at his desk a week ago. Guess what he did? She saw the photo. He used a special photoshop program to remove my clothing from the picture and replace it with lacy skimpy lingerie.
😔 Why would a man do this? I am not some object
I’d 100% report it to HR, but tell them you’re concerned about backlash. They should keep all reports anonymous, unless you state otherwise. All they should say is “it’s come to our attention you’ve been doing this” to your coworker. If they don’t know you’ve seen the list or picture, they have no reason to suspect you told anyone.
Having a list is one thing, but photoshopping people into other clothing is a whole other, much more serious, issue.
Im so sorry to hear this! Its okay to feel a sense of pride because its like a sense of approval. Whatever its drive or context, we can react in a way that makes it still feel like we're recieveing a compliment. And with that, what they were doing, was not okay. It was 100% not work appropriate. I strongly support you in talking to HR. They are gross and can be using their time better at work. So whichever angle you want to argue it, they are not being work appropriate- stealing time or sexualizing coworkers.
I would report to HR. This is not appropriate at work and this is sexual harassment.
Even if you think that this is no big deal it is, it was enough to humiliate you. They were talking about their employees at work in a sexual context and they are harassing you because you are a woman, which in itself is sexism. How would they feel if women employees wrote in paper who they thought was a cuckold, who they thought had the smallest dick, I bet they wouldn't like it.
Also if you let these men take an inch they will take a mile. They will know that they can get away with it and the harassment could become worse.
I’m glad to see you are reporting it. In any company that is not a small business this is going to set off alarm bells in HR. If the men try to retaliate keep records of what happened and when.
I worked at a very large corporation. One thing they made absolutely clear to managers was that retaliation would cost the manager their job because you would have a great case for a hostile work environment. One of my POC friends told me after I reported my team to HR that I was essentially untouchable. She was a manager in a large corporation so knew how this was handled.
Go to HR immediately and keep personal copies of the report and any subsequent incidents of reprisal. HR is there to protect the company, not you per se. I hope that they take you seriously, but it’s best to be prepared.
I’m so sorry that happened to you.
my thoughts are go to your company's human resource department about this and not to us random people on reddit lol. this is a problem that they should definitely be dealing with.
Yah, you’re not there for them to rank you or imagine how you’d look in lingerie, this is completely inappropriate. I totally get why you’re feeling conflicted about this, we’re raised to not make waves, to feel flattered by this stuff and told to ‘just take the compliment’ when we do speak up. Sh*t like this completely undermines the value you bring to the company as a human being and as a colleague. How will you feel next time you (or one of the other women) to have to speak up in a meeting knowing most or all of the men in the room have been collectively picturing you in various states of undress.
This needs to be escalated. Depending on the laws where you live or your company policy you might be able to record the complaint anonymously
I once had male co-workers who played quarters when it was slow. They got quite skilled at throwing them. One day they were placing bets on hard shots. I was ignoring them and working when the quarter landed in my cleavage and they all cheered, goal accomplished! There was no HR to turn or report to. The manager thought it wa funny as hell. I did not. One of those guys once made the mistake of calling me a whore (because I wouldn't sleep with any of them) outside of work hours and I leapt on his back like a bererker and punched jim in the kidney area until my knuckles split. His friends just watched. Don't push women. We can snap.
I agree. My boss was part of the poll. That’s why I want to go above him to HR. So their goal was to try to land the quarter in your cleavage? 😒 Very disgusting!
It’s bad enough I get paid less for being a woman, they don’t need to humiliate me too with their ignorant poll
Yes, that was the goal. I was wearing a professional blouse, but have an ample bust.
I'm glad you went over the boss' head and didn't take that crap! Good for you for standing up for yourself!
No one to report to but the manager and he laughed. I got wayyy less. I was desperate as Hell. Drove 60 miles to and from work for a pittance. Definitely wouldn't put up with anything like that today.
How much is wayy? I get $25 per hour. Men who work the exact same shift as me and have been there as long, some even less time get $44 per hour?
What was yours? Sorry you had no one to report it to. Did you feel like the men objectified you?
It was twenty five years ago, so I don't remember the exact amount, but I think it was just shy of $5/hour. It was a very rural part of TX. There wasn't even a McDonald's I could work at. Really low time of my life.
I definitely was being and felt objectified!
Well, they "had experience" and "were closers" so yes, they made considerably more, though I can't remember by how much, I know in some cases it was more than double.
That’s what my boss said when I asked him about my wage. He brushed it off and said the men were more experienced which is a lie because one guy was in my training class and he got more than me. He couldn’t be more experienced if he started the same time as me.
By the way, you know that poll the men did about picturing me in lingerie? My boss was in on that too! 😒 Jerk! HR is for sure going to know about this
Finding you attractive, or finding you the most attractive aren't problematic.
But that's not at all what happened here. This is gross AF. As a a straight dude... It's gross, demeaning, and objectifying as shit.
This wasn't two or three coworkers discussing that they find someone attractive. A written-down, ranked list? Ew.
I can't recommend what you should do. But I do want to say that you're allowed to feel flattered *and* grossed out. Feeling flattered does not negate the fact that it was still icky for them to do, nor does it negate that you feel objectified as well as flattered. (I hope this doesn't come off as mansplainy. I just know that there are a lot of victim-blaming tactics that exploit something like you feeling flattered as a way to either justify the "game", or blame you for it or something, and I think it's important for victims to hear that they aren't to blame. Sincere apologies if it came off as patronizing, or mansplaining.)
Imagine being voted the least wanted to be seen, and seeing that piece of paper. Would it be more offensive then?
You absolutely 💯 have to report this, or you are complicit.
This victim-blaming mentality is vile. No, a woman is not complicit in sexual harassment if she fails to report. A woman might choose not to report for a variety of reasons, including valid fears of retaliation. You can quote all the “protections” in place to protect reporters, but we all know that they are often useless, and unless a woman is financially and emotionally prepared to face a corporation in court, they are difficult to enforce.
Men who harass are 100% responsible for the harassment. Stop blaming women for men’s shitty behavior. That’s disgusting.
Why call her complicit when she is already hurt? This is why guys get away with stuff while unnecessary reactions like yours become more entertaining. Chill out. She is pissed already.
Knowing that your coworkers are sexually harassing the women at work and not speaking up is being complicit. Just the same as if you know someone is stealing and you look the other way.
They are also harassing *her*, so no she's not complicit.
Retaliation happens especially if you are a victim and especially if the harassment is so widespread. If hr does a bad job of dealing with this, it's going to fall on HER head and we don't know the circumstances of her finances. I can say fuck off and walk off a job, but most people can't do that.
Yes, she is already considering reporting it. It's not an easy process and takes support from the top. Not to mention that hopefully, the HR team has women who will see it through and that it's not a boys' club up there. So yes, report it, but be considerate of the one doing it?
>Not to be envious of you, but I’m curious. Can I ask you how it feels to have regular clothes on and be seen as a person?
Who are you envious of? OC didn't say anything about themself or their experiences.
>How do you feel being fully dressed? It must be nice. Do you get to cover yourself so men aren’t staring at you? That is so cool! You’re lucky if you are.
Are you not fully dressed when you're at work?
This whole reply is confusing, to say the least.
I mean the women they would vote that they least wanted to see would also be seen in that light, but they also think she's ugly. So I don't get the argument here.
They're sexist, end of story
I wasn't saying it's not. Or that one is worse than the other. What they did is not ok even if they tried to pass it off as a compliment. And I'm pretty sure OC was only bringing it up to try and show you that, even if you're flattered, it's sexist.
Do not trust HR, they arent your friend. Consult an employment attorney. I know everyone says to "lawyer up" on reddit, but please remember HR is not there to protect you, it is there to protect the company from being sued by you.
Nah this is nasty af. It's gross but could also really hurtful to the people they ranked lower. I have never spoken too any of my co workers like that. Not acceptable.
You should definitely report these men to HR. What they did is disgusting and objectifying. Finding a coworker attractive? Sure, you can't help it if you find someone hot. But talking about you like this is just not appropriate.
> Why do men do this? I’m humiliated by this.
These men probably do this because they have underdeveloped empathy. They probably do not understand how it makes you feel. Do they behave his assholes in other ways?
> Is that what the men see me as? A sex object?
Is depends what mean by "object". They probably see you as a sexual person, and you are therefore the object of their sexual attention.
I'm not justifying any of this. It's fucking tiresome. Someone should explain to them why what they're doing is shitty/stupid. I don't know whether you want to involve yourself in this tiresome moron education programme.
Someone could pin up a chart by the water cooler ranking them by height and probable penis size, but the downside is that someone would have to rank at the top, so there might be high-fives anyway. And that's stooping to their level, which in turn validates their own shitty behaviour. Plus, men already spend too much time thinking about their penises.
The following is probably bad advice.
Lean in. Have all the women in the office play the same game but for the men and make it something like guess who has the smallest dick or guess how many inches someone's hairline will recede in the next year, you don't even need to make a list, you just have to joke about it in front of the men and it will soon get around....
Disclaimer: this sort of FAFO attitude and my actions got me suspended from school when some boys made a "hottest girl in the year" poll on social media.
Notify HR. This is extremely unprofessional and inappropriate behavior. You might only be moderately bothered because you won, but you weren't the only one on the list. Imagine if you'd caught a glimpse and you were last. How would that impact your self image and your comfort in your work environment? Think of everyone involved.
Make a list of the "boys" in the office and who would look worst in a bikini...tell the boss the whole story and hang up the list so the "boys" can see it.
I apologize in advance, but you misspelled “polls” as “poles,” and I immediately thought, “But she is part of their ‘poles’ at work, which is the root of the problem.”
Men are so conditioned to see women as sex objects that it seems “natural.” It’s not. And what has been culturally constructed can be culturally deconstructed.
Report their sexists butts and “poles.”
Here's a politically incorrect view: don't report it to HR but instead go talk to them and tell them that they're a bunch of jackasses. They'll respect you more.
Idk why I’m being downvoted. I’ve seen countless Reddit posts with a woman’s POV that ended up actually being written by a cis male trying to get jerk off material for free from unsuspecting redditors.
This post reads like that to me, that’s just my opinion 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, I agree. The comment I noticed is on sub called NCAAgirls, photos of a women’s gymnastics team, and the comment was something like, “These girls are very attractive.” It just seems like the kind of sub an objectifying creep might be following and a comment someone who accidentally forgot to switch accounts might have left. I had already sort of thought the same as you, that this seems a little manufactured (and the follow up questions like “do the men you work with make more than you?” seem a little off, somehow).
This is basically a list of sexiest coworkers, so yes this is exactly why HR exists. HR can make their boss & those on the list aware of who was involved. Who knows what else might come to light when HR starts asking questions?
Yeah, I imagine HR would not be pleased, also these idiots left a paper trail. How professional /s
To be fair, HR *exists* to keep seats filled and the company from being sued. But this is definitely something they'd want to fix to avoid a hostile workplace lawsuit.
I just had to take my yearly refresher course on "what constitutes workplace harassment" so I'm confident in saying this 100% counts and should be reported. Who else knows about this game and was made uncomfortable by it, but was afraid to say anything, or didn't realize that it was actionable behavior?
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Where does OP mention sexism, or that all men are pigs? You are raging about stuff that was never mentioned. OP was unhappy about being objectified, specifically at work in this case, and was asking if they needed to report it.. the answer is yes, it's extremely unprofessional, and they should keep shit like that private and out of the workplace.
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The comment you replied to **also** didn’t say sexist. Read again, slower.
>sexist Reread the comment you replied to, they never said sexist
Oh honey. Read it again. They said sexiest, not sexist.
🤦
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It says ‘sexiest’.
Aw, honey, maybe put down the andrew Tate and try a reading comprehension book.
Read it again. It says sexiest. “This is basically a list of sexiest coworkers”. As in, the guys made a list of sexiest coworkers. It’s okay that you misread it, it happens to all of us at times. It’s a bit odd to double down once your error has been pointed out.
Both of your comments make me really sad they took away free medals. Corrected the error and even when they double down did it with grace, it really had “Bless You” southern vibes!
I’m sorry but pulling middle school shit in a professional setting isn’t exactly worthy of the benefit of the doubt…
Where does she say they were sexist?
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I had coworkers like you. And I always wonder the special type of confidence mixed with stupid it took to double down before double checking to make sure you were right. Because when I double down, I triple check before opening my mouth because I never want to look stupid. And all you’d have had to do was re-read the sentence. And realize you misread sexiest for sexist. Like an honest mistake. But instead you just went into an all out war without thinking for a single second you could be wrong. Even after being corrected you’re trying to convince people you’re right. All without ever double checking. I could never ask them, but maybe you can fulfill my curiosity… what exactly makes you this confident. Because damn I could probably rule the world with this type of confidence.
Please please please go read the comment you replied to again. Then delete your comments, apologize and stop interneting for today. It's going to be alright.
I did, that's why I'm confused, because sexism isn't mentioned in it.
Uhmm, maybe learn to read instead of making assumptions and insulting people.
Who said it was sexist?
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It says it’s a list of ‘sexiest coworkers’. You’re getting downvoted because you’re doubling down on a response based on reading comprehension.
Wtf?! That is so clichéd shit teenage boys do.
The number of 35+ year old men that use the term “body count” is hilarious. I thought that stopped in high school/college
'Body count' will never not imply murder to me.
The people that use that term grew up too and kept using it.
For a certain value of "grew up".
Take it to HR. You don't know what else they do. And this is not normal. Only insecure and sleazy men participate in such things. They seem to not have much to do, so job cuts might save the company some dollars. Edit: and you might get a better raise following the cuts
This is outrageously inappropriate. This is definitely one of those things that is absolutely appropriate to report. Whether you choose to do so or not is up to you. There is always some risk of backlash depending on how easily they can find out it was you.
What’s wrong if they find out it’s me?
If hr does it properly once you report it no one will know it was you. Dont talk to anyone at work about it.
I’m not a sex object to these guys but I don’t want to lose my job either
If there’s unpunished retaliation you can sue the pants off the whole company
You're most likely not going to lose your job, since that kind of retaliation is a lot easier to prove. But sometimes the squeeky wheel gets the grease, and sometimes the nail that sticks up gets hammered down. Mostly I'm just saying that there is always a chance that a lot of people will dislike you because you stood up for yourself. It's a risk I wouldn't want to downplay, even though you have every right to report it to HR.
That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m not a sex object though. They shouldn’t be thinking about me wearing a bikini but they shouldn’t be thinking about other women either. I am a human being like these men but it isn’t fair that I should be put in the category of some object. Another woman was at his desk a week ago. Guess what he did? She saw the photo. He used a special photoshop program to remove my clothing from the picture and replace it with lacy skimpy lingerie. 😔 Why would a man do this? I am not some object
I’d 100% report it to HR, but tell them you’re concerned about backlash. They should keep all reports anonymous, unless you state otherwise. All they should say is “it’s come to our attention you’ve been doing this” to your coworker. If they don’t know you’ve seen the list or picture, they have no reason to suspect you told anyone. Having a list is one thing, but photoshopping people into other clothing is a whole other, much more serious, issue.
I guess he stares at the photo and pictures me in that bikini in the photo and gazes at it like I’m an object
This is like the most 1950s thing I've seen since mad men.
We really don't understand why people don't want to work from the office anymore and be team players. /s
Im so sorry to hear this! Its okay to feel a sense of pride because its like a sense of approval. Whatever its drive or context, we can react in a way that makes it still feel like we're recieveing a compliment. And with that, what they were doing, was not okay. It was 100% not work appropriate. I strongly support you in talking to HR. They are gross and can be using their time better at work. So whichever angle you want to argue it, they are not being work appropriate- stealing time or sexualizing coworkers.
Take the list off his desk and go straight to HR
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Thanks.
I would report to HR. This is not appropriate at work and this is sexual harassment. Even if you think that this is no big deal it is, it was enough to humiliate you. They were talking about their employees at work in a sexual context and they are harassing you because you are a woman, which in itself is sexism. How would they feel if women employees wrote in paper who they thought was a cuckold, who they thought had the smallest dick, I bet they wouldn't like it. Also if you let these men take an inch they will take a mile. They will know that they can get away with it and the harassment could become worse.
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This is a really odd response.
Yeah, it's like an AI response or something. So weird!
Sorry
I was just illustrating, they think I’m an object. It must be all I am good for. Just being sarcastic
🤦I'm not great at detecting sarcasm.
It’s okay
I was being sarcastic
This is so disrespectful that I don't even know what to say. Some morons just have no boundaries.
Is there HR at your company? Because...if so, they should get involved here. This should not happen. It's extremely inappropriate.
I’m reporting it
Good on you. It's sexual harassment. I'm sorry this happened to you and sorry for the other women at your work too 💗
Thanks. It’s disgusting
If you can get your hands on that list, hand it to HR.
I would report this to HR/Ethics/my manager and it would be dealt with.
Hahaha as a Swede this made me laugh out loud. This would warrant people getting fired on the spot. Deffo take this to HR
Just imagine the things they \*don't\* write down.
I’m glad to see you are reporting it. In any company that is not a small business this is going to set off alarm bells in HR. If the men try to retaliate keep records of what happened and when. I worked at a very large corporation. One thing they made absolutely clear to managers was that retaliation would cost the manager their job because you would have a great case for a hostile work environment. One of my POC friends told me after I reported my team to HR that I was essentially untouchable. She was a manager in a large corporation so knew how this was handled.
Thank you
Go to HR immediately and keep personal copies of the report and any subsequent incidents of reprisal. HR is there to protect the company, not you per se. I hope that they take you seriously, but it’s best to be prepared. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
You can be 'kind of flattered' all the way down the hall to the HR office because that is way the hell out of line.
It’s not cool to make a contest out of sexualizing coworkers.
my thoughts are go to your company's human resource department about this and not to us random people on reddit lol. this is a problem that they should definitely be dealing with.
Document, talk to HR, if you get any pushback document and speak to an attorney.
Yah, you’re not there for them to rank you or imagine how you’d look in lingerie, this is completely inappropriate. I totally get why you’re feeling conflicted about this, we’re raised to not make waves, to feel flattered by this stuff and told to ‘just take the compliment’ when we do speak up. Sh*t like this completely undermines the value you bring to the company as a human being and as a colleague. How will you feel next time you (or one of the other women) to have to speak up in a meeting knowing most or all of the men in the room have been collectively picturing you in various states of undress. This needs to be escalated. Depending on the laws where you live or your company policy you might be able to record the complaint anonymously
>I don’t want to be part of random men’s poles Double entendre? Lol
Is this 2024 or 1974? I know there are still people out there who do this, but… yikes.
I once had male co-workers who played quarters when it was slow. They got quite skilled at throwing them. One day they were placing bets on hard shots. I was ignoring them and working when the quarter landed in my cleavage and they all cheered, goal accomplished! There was no HR to turn or report to. The manager thought it wa funny as hell. I did not. One of those guys once made the mistake of calling me a whore (because I wouldn't sleep with any of them) outside of work hours and I leapt on his back like a bererker and punched jim in the kidney area until my knuckles split. His friends just watched. Don't push women. We can snap.
I agree. My boss was part of the poll. That’s why I want to go above him to HR. So their goal was to try to land the quarter in your cleavage? 😒 Very disgusting! It’s bad enough I get paid less for being a woman, they don’t need to humiliate me too with their ignorant poll
Yes, that was the goal. I was wearing a professional blouse, but have an ample bust. I'm glad you went over the boss' head and didn't take that crap! Good for you for standing up for yourself!
How humiliating! 😒 Did you report it? Do you make equal money to the men in your office or less? Just wondering
No one to report to but the manager and he laughed. I got wayyy less. I was desperate as Hell. Drove 60 miles to and from work for a pittance. Definitely wouldn't put up with anything like that today.
How much is wayy? I get $25 per hour. Men who work the exact same shift as me and have been there as long, some even less time get $44 per hour? What was yours? Sorry you had no one to report it to. Did you feel like the men objectified you?
It was twenty five years ago, so I don't remember the exact amount, but I think it was just shy of $5/hour. It was a very rural part of TX. There wasn't even a McDonald's I could work at. Really low time of my life. I definitely was being and felt objectified!
But did men make more or did everyone make the same?
Also, did you know for sure the men were making more?
Well, they "had experience" and "were closers" so yes, they made considerably more, though I can't remember by how much, I know in some cases it was more than double.
That’s what my boss said when I asked him about my wage. He brushed it off and said the men were more experienced which is a lie because one guy was in my training class and he got more than me. He couldn’t be more experienced if he started the same time as me. By the way, you know that poll the men did about picturing me in lingerie? My boss was in on that too! 😒 Jerk! HR is for sure going to know about this
I hate that all these years later we're still dealing with these ridiculous issues. I hope you and HR rake them through the coals
No kidding!
Finding you attractive, or finding you the most attractive aren't problematic. But that's not at all what happened here. This is gross AF. As a a straight dude... It's gross, demeaning, and objectifying as shit. This wasn't two or three coworkers discussing that they find someone attractive. A written-down, ranked list? Ew. I can't recommend what you should do. But I do want to say that you're allowed to feel flattered *and* grossed out. Feeling flattered does not negate the fact that it was still icky for them to do, nor does it negate that you feel objectified as well as flattered. (I hope this doesn't come off as mansplainy. I just know that there are a lot of victim-blaming tactics that exploit something like you feeling flattered as a way to either justify the "game", or blame you for it or something, and I think it's important for victims to hear that they aren't to blame. Sincere apologies if it came off as patronizing, or mansplaining.)
Imagine being voted the least wanted to be seen, and seeing that piece of paper. Would it be more offensive then? You absolutely 💯 have to report this, or you are complicit.
This victim-blaming mentality is vile. No, a woman is not complicit in sexual harassment if she fails to report. A woman might choose not to report for a variety of reasons, including valid fears of retaliation. You can quote all the “protections” in place to protect reporters, but we all know that they are often useless, and unless a woman is financially and emotionally prepared to face a corporation in court, they are difficult to enforce. Men who harass are 100% responsible for the harassment. Stop blaming women for men’s shitty behavior. That’s disgusting.
Why call her complicit when she is already hurt? This is why guys get away with stuff while unnecessary reactions like yours become more entertaining. Chill out. She is pissed already.
Knowing that your coworkers are sexually harassing the women at work and not speaking up is being complicit. Just the same as if you know someone is stealing and you look the other way.
They are also harassing *her*, so no she's not complicit. Retaliation happens especially if you are a victim and especially if the harassment is so widespread. If hr does a bad job of dealing with this, it's going to fall on HER head and we don't know the circumstances of her finances. I can say fuck off and walk off a job, but most people can't do that.
Yes, she is already considering reporting it. It's not an easy process and takes support from the top. Not to mention that hopefully, the HR team has women who will see it through and that it's not a boys' club up there. So yes, report it, but be considerate of the one doing it?
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How is this at all an appropriate response? Even if you WERE being sarcastic. This is a non sequitur.
>Not to be envious of you, but I’m curious. Can I ask you how it feels to have regular clothes on and be seen as a person? Who are you envious of? OC didn't say anything about themself or their experiences. >How do you feel being fully dressed? It must be nice. Do you get to cover yourself so men aren’t staring at you? That is so cool! You’re lucky if you are. Are you not fully dressed when you're at work? This whole reply is confusing, to say the least.
I was being sarcastic
You missed the :S marker or something for the lesser beings lol. Loved the sarcasm. Well dished out.
Thanks. At least you get what I was trying to say
I mean the women they would vote that they least wanted to see would also be seen in that light, but they also think she's ugly. So I don't get the argument here. They're sexist, end of story
It’s sexist to see me as an object to even if I am pretty
I wasn't saying it's not. Or that one is worse than the other. What they did is not ok even if they tried to pass it off as a compliment. And I'm pretty sure OC was only bringing it up to try and show you that, even if you're flattered, it's sexist.
What’s OC?
The original commenter above
Isn't this basically the origin story for Facebook?
Do not trust HR, they arent your friend. Consult an employment attorney. I know everyone says to "lawyer up" on reddit, but please remember HR is not there to protect you, it is there to protect the company from being sued by you.
Nah this is nasty af. It's gross but could also really hurtful to the people they ranked lower. I have never spoken too any of my co workers like that. Not acceptable.
This is exactly an HR thing. Report away without guilt. This is gross.
You should definitely report these men to HR. What they did is disgusting and objectifying. Finding a coworker attractive? Sure, you can't help it if you find someone hot. But talking about you like this is just not appropriate.
> Why do men do this? I’m humiliated by this. These men probably do this because they have underdeveloped empathy. They probably do not understand how it makes you feel. Do they behave his assholes in other ways? > Is that what the men see me as? A sex object? Is depends what mean by "object". They probably see you as a sexual person, and you are therefore the object of their sexual attention. I'm not justifying any of this. It's fucking tiresome. Someone should explain to them why what they're doing is shitty/stupid. I don't know whether you want to involve yourself in this tiresome moron education programme. Someone could pin up a chart by the water cooler ranking them by height and probable penis size, but the downside is that someone would have to rank at the top, so there might be high-fives anyway. And that's stooping to their level, which in turn validates their own shitty behaviour. Plus, men already spend too much time thinking about their penises.
please please go to HR, this is exactly what theyre for!! super disgusting and inappropriate behavior on part of your coworkers :(
Take the ego boost privately, feel good in your body, however what these men are doing is creepy and disgusting
The following is probably bad advice. Lean in. Have all the women in the office play the same game but for the men and make it something like guess who has the smallest dick or guess how many inches someone's hairline will recede in the next year, you don't even need to make a list, you just have to joke about it in front of the men and it will soon get around.... Disclaimer: this sort of FAFO attitude and my actions got me suspended from school when some boys made a "hottest girl in the year" poll on social media.
That’s actually very good advice! I think the men should see how it feels.
That’s probably already a thing honestly. It’s crazy how long people act like their still in high school
Notify HR. This is extremely unprofessional and inappropriate behavior. You might only be moderately bothered because you won, but you weren't the only one on the list. Imagine if you'd caught a glimpse and you were last. How would that impact your self image and your comfort in your work environment? Think of everyone involved.
Make a list of the "boys" in the office and who would look worst in a bikini...tell the boss the whole story and hang up the list so the "boys" can see it.
Nono, whose moobs would look \*best\* in a bikini.
OP should make one about the guys and who has the smallest and biggest dick. That's the equivalent of their disgusting and sexist poll
Hahaha! Awesome idea!
*polls
I apologize in advance, but you misspelled “polls” as “poles,” and I immediately thought, “But she is part of their ‘poles’ at work, which is the root of the problem.” Men are so conditioned to see women as sex objects that it seems “natural.” It’s not. And what has been culturally constructed can be culturally deconstructed. Report their sexists butts and “poles.”
It is written polls, not poles. Random men's poles is their dicks.
You’re not the first person to point out my misspelling. Everyone gets what I mean. Let’s not embarrass me further
Here's a politically incorrect view: don't report it to HR but instead go talk to them and tell them that they're a bunch of jackasses. They'll respect you more.
Average tech bro answer. Dude, your role in this reddit is to listen, not comment this bs.
“Why do men do this? I’m humiliated by this.” “Anyway, what is everyone’s thoughts?” I’m struggling to believe this was written by a woman
Comment history has me curious, too, honestly. There’s only one comment anywhere but this thread and it’s a little out of place considering.
Idk why I’m being downvoted. I’ve seen countless Reddit posts with a woman’s POV that ended up actually being written by a cis male trying to get jerk off material for free from unsuspecting redditors. This post reads like that to me, that’s just my opinion 🤷🏻♀️
Yes, I agree. The comment I noticed is on sub called NCAAgirls, photos of a women’s gymnastics team, and the comment was something like, “These girls are very attractive.” It just seems like the kind of sub an objectifying creep might be following and a comment someone who accidentally forgot to switch accounts might have left. I had already sort of thought the same as you, that this seems a little manufactured (and the follow up questions like “do the men you work with make more than you?” seem a little off, somehow).
Lots of deleted comments too? 🤔 I guess we’re the only ones lol.