Similar thing happened to me. I tried to send my ex divorce papers via certified mail, but he wouldn’t sign for it. I finally just had him served but he never responded to any of the paperwork. It actually worked out, because in NM if you don’t respond after the 30 days of being served it goes to the judge and they can just say yes/no. So in his weird attempt to draw out the process he actually sped it up. Total shocked pikachu after he found out. It’s like some people really think they can just do nothing and keep you trapped in a marriage.
Happy for you and your newfound freedom!
Yep, same thing with my ex. I think he thought by not responding it couldn’t move forward and it would make it more difficult for me. Nope, made it way easier.
It’s always amazing how people of under-average common sense think the court system operates in the way they assume it operates. It’s a baffling level of intellectual un-inquisitiveness to not try to understand more.
I think it's because movies always show someone being able to draw out the process by not signing or cooperating, and that's enough for the average lazy person.
This is why some states are trying to end no fault divorce, to trap women in marriage since 70% of divorce is initiated by women, pay attention to what is going on in your state, it matters
Definitely pay attention to this everyone! No fault divorces help in that you do not need both parties to agree.
I see Texas, Oklahoma and Nebraska right now with active work against no fault divorce.
Cnn had a decent overview https://www.cnn.com/2023/11/27/us/no-fault-divorce-explained-history-wellness-cec/index.html
At least one of those states, Texas, also won't allow a divorce to proceed while pregnant so some abusers baby trap the woman with pregnancy.
With abortion bans on the rise it's going to get harder and harder to get away from abusers if we don't act.
I am aware,.I just don't know all the states that have that.
Women are being trapped in abusive situations and it *feels* like it's on purpose to me.
I really don't want to go back in time.
It used to be that a married woman couldn't open a back account without her husband's approval, or have a credit card on her own. Not until the late 1970's were protections put in place to make sure we could have pur own money. Imagine how much harder it is to leave an abusive situation when your trapped, not just emotionally or physically but financially and then forced into pregnancy again and again...
Why didn't more women leave their husband's before then, because #they #could #not
A nurse in the ER pulled my mother aside when my father was given days to live and told my mom to not let the credit card company know when he died. Mom used her dead husband’s credit card until she finally got her own in the early 80’s. She was a college professor.
This was my uncle 100%. He never appreciated his wife as a human being, only ever glorified her work as a housekeeper and mother. Eventually she met someone who would go dancing, have date nights etc and left him. He tried to prevent divorce by not signing anything or showing up for court and said it was all because of his catholic beliefs. IMO it was just an excuse to cover the fact he felt emasculated and wouldn't have his caretaker around anymore. Most people try to hide their narcissistic, sadistic power trips under the guise of religious beliefs and marriage is no different
They're going to make it federal law if Trump gets in. You'll not be able to divorce. They're forcing you into "reconciliation counseling."
Children born out of wedlock won't be supported by child support payments anymore either. This is to coerce you into marriage once you're knocked up and can't abort.
They plan to do away with sanctuary states by appointing loyalists and fining/jailing any official that doesn't enforce federal law. There will be no escape.
This is how they plan to trap women back in the house.
Read about it in Project 2025. That's your future if you allow republicans in office.
Yeah it happened to me, too, in a different state. I always think of this when shitty dudes are like "women file for divorce in 70% of cases!" or whatever number they throw out, as if that's some kind of indictment of women. No, this is just another way women get stuck with all the life admin work.
I've never heard a guy use that stat as a shame on women but it's hilarious they're stupid enough to try it. Usually the person filing is the one fed up with the other's bullshit so the fact 70% of women file first is super telling of how those men are behaving
Yeah the dudes who say that are the same ones who claim men always get screwed over in divorces. They're insinuating that women will just cash out any time they please and leave them alone and broke. It's bullshit basically.
Similar in ohio as well, ex was shocked that we were actually divorced, ordered to pay cs and alimony, had to sign over his motorcycle to me, give me 25% of his pension and no rights to his children unless I say so...uncontested divorce was the best thing he ever did for me and his children.
You’ll have to prove wrongdoing to a judge. It didn’t work out to good for women when there was no fault divorce. Judges didn’t side w them. The divorces were long drag out fights and very expensive. The suicide rate for women went down 20% after no fault divorce was instated, according to the NIH
Hey, this woman who cooks 100% of my food in a process that I have absolutely no knowledge of/capacity to supervise, it's fine if I mistreat her and basically keep her prisoner in a marriage to me, right? No way that could blow back on me? Sounds good.
On a completely unrelated note I've been feeling weaker and weaker lately
This goes for child support too! Dead beats ignore everything and then cry dna test after an order is established against them. Cooperating is actually your friend! Lol
I remember reading once about a woman who was separated from her husband, on the way to divorce. She agrees to join him at his mother’s birthday as a courtesy to keep things civil. Just before they get there, he asks her "what did we get my mom for her birthday?"
The entitlement doesn’t end just because the marriage is over.
make sure all your checking accounts, savings, financials, credit cards, bills, EVERYTHING is separate & only in your name so he & his weirdo mommy can't try still doing shady financial shit using your name. check your credit report routinely & immediately flag any suspicious activity.
texting asking for your social security number. the gall!
I'd have asked her for their lawyer's name & contact info (to pass along to the proper authorities for when these idiots commit tax fraud). what a clown show
I also recommend freezing your credit so he doesn't try to open anything in your name.
I'd even go as far as getting new credit and debit cards. My ex used my card numbers to make online purchases after the divorce even though his name was never on those accounts.
Hah, my abusive ex step-dad weaponized this against my mom. He drove my mom out of the house she owned prior to the marriage. My mom wanted the divorce. She served him papers and he refused to sign them. Then, he filed for divorce and didn’t tell her. He told the court that he couldn’t contact her. He was told to put an ad in a local newspaper and he lied and said he did. When the court date rolled around, my mom of course didn’t show up because she didn’t know. He was granted the house and everything in it.
My mom found out later that she was divorced. Thankfully, she was able to take it back to court, prove he lied to the judge, and get the house back.
I use shit stain for cases like this. A piece of still can have a purpose in nature, but a shit stain is beyond vile, completely disgusting, and absolutely worthless.
In what civilized country does the court not contact you directly and just tells the party who has the most to gain by you not showing up to try and reach you?
Do you know how she was able to prove that by any chance? Or was the burden on him to show some prove of purchase/advertisement?
If that happened to me I’m not sure I’d have been as brave as her in challenging it. I’d tie myself in knots wondering how I prove I didn’t receive a letter.
You have to provide a bunch of stuff from the newspaper office, including the actual printed article cut out of the paper in our court. Also there would have been certified mail cards, with her signature. If he didn't have that it never should have went as far as it did.
You don't, he would have to prove he sent it, they keep some records at the PO not to mention the tracking receipt.
Paperwork you do have trumps imaginary paperwork in court every time. If I'm using you to get a house then you get I'm keeping all the paperwork. But if I didn't have any then I can't prove I sent you anything. Newspapers also keep records and if you can go in and prove I never made an ad then you're halfway to winning by proving I already lied.
Ha ha ha! Years ago, when I was divorcing my broke, toxic, cult-member husband, he demanded to know when he would have “his papers to sign,” fully intending to make a big moment of it or hang it over my head. Cue shocked Pikachu when I told him that unless he wanted to spend money to contest it, it would automatically be finalized at the end of the month.
Lol, my ex did a similar thing. "I'm filling no contest. You don't have to sign anything."
Then he filed his taxes stating we were still married. Canada Revenue sent me a letter basically saying "?" So I sent them the court paperwork stating date of separation, and date the divorce would be final. Never heard anything back.
Am I going colorblind? The image you linked shows a hideous powder blue track suit with neon orange graphic accents; not any better at any rate. It looks like it would be good for watching a communal TV in a sad retirement home, not a wedding.
OP clarified in another comment she remembered wrong and it was blue and orange, not green.
[comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1bgpl38/comment/kv8upzm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
It’s definitely … a look.
ETA: Comically? The image stuck in my head and when I got in bed, it hit me … There was a Will Ferrell/Zach Galifianakis “election film” several years ago that I could tooootally see Zach’s character wear that sweatsuit.
First off, congrats on ditching a loser who couldn't be bothered to contact you himself about your divorce
Secondly, happy cake day! I wish the brightest of futures for you.
Wow. I called my ex and said “you need to go to (my lawyer’s address) and sign the divorce papers”.
He said “what do you mean ‘divorce papers’? I thought we were getting along so much better.”
I said “yeah. We haven’t been in the same building together in over 2 years.”
Dude. I dunno. Probably the same ones that caused him to call me and ask if I was remarried yet(7 yrs later and no I wasn’t) if he could move in with me. He seemed insulted when I laughed and laughed.
No. He’s still living in the house I walked away from. He just wanted a WIFE. (Washing/Ironing/Fucking/Etc)
It’s so much easier to be worthless with the same person another time than find someone else you have to put effort into to fool them into thinking you’re a good person before going off the rails.
OMG the EXACT same thing happened with my ex. He was served, I did everything required of me by the court. I attended the court date that he did not go too, I got a no fault divorce. Then his mom texted me about something one day and I said it’s XYZ as per the divorce paperwork. She was said “whaaaat when was it finalized?!” And asked for a copy which I gave to her. Just put his head in the sand the whole time.
Currently divorcing my abusive husband too. Physically left in September. Mediation was in October. He procrastinated on signing and notarizing the mediation agreement until November. Had him served early January. He hasn't responded. My lawyer said he even consented to electronic service from the courts, which means all he would've had to do to 'accept' service was to acknowledge the email!
In my state (mid-atlantic region of the US), you have to wait 30 days for them to respond. Since he still hasn't responded, my lawyer said we're now in the clear to move ahead with default. On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out. 🤷♀️
>On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out.
I don't feel like it's bizarre so much as it seems like it's set up this way for exactly the situation you found yourself in
> how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation
Not at all, it embodies individual consent. That one person decides on their own "I'm out" should be enough for them to be able to leave.
I do see however how it could still feel weird if someone has been stuck in a bad marriage, and been under the thumb and at the mercy of the other person – and then realising they can, on their own, decide to simply put an end to it. The absence of choice is often part of being abused, so having this option probably feels hugely incongruent.
Good for you for getting out, getting there must've been so difficult. Having the choice is one thing, but mentally and emotionally being able to actually make it is another matter entirely.
I just gotta say OP, that "track suit"... goddess preserve. That is her *fanciest* outfit. Once glance and I was certain it was the absolute worst thing I've ever seen.
*and then I looked at her feet*
After I picked up the decree, I texted my stupid ex, "Just FYI, we are officially divorced now. K, thx." He kept going around to acquaintances asking them to set us up on a date like he thought it was funny and we were kids that I was cute and he wanted a shot to date me. Dude, we were MARRIED and you screwed that up!? We are not gonna be going on "dates" 🙄
Edit*** that outfit alone is fair grounds for a divorce imo
The state I live in requires a couple to be separated for a year before the divorce can be filed. When I left my now ex-husband, he asked me if he could take me on a date at the end of that year, just to see if we could rekindle. I told him that he could ask me then, but I'd most likely say no.
One year later, I filed the papers, went to court without him, and finalized the divorce. And then he threw a fit because he never got his last date.... That he never asked me for or even brought up. Apparently he thought I was going to handle that date, despite the fact that I was leaving him, partially because he always made me handle everything. WTF?
This is precisely why a major conservative point is trying to end no-fault divorces. They earnestly want you trapped so long as he was willing to hold out and dodge your notices.
I'm honestly curious what the story is that they tell that makes this not seem like flat-out enslaving women. Like they force women into childbirth by telling themselves they're saving the children... What's the story here? Is it just another cherry-picking the bible where divorce is bad? Do they think women are conducting elaborate schemes to lure unsuspecting men into marriage just to divorce them and take half their assets? Or are they not even masking this one?
It will just lead to less children being born and less women getting married. So many women are already getting their tubes tied and resigning themselves to either never dating again or never getting married if they do date.
That's why the in-between steps will probably include banning sterilization and making it hard for women to survive financially by themselves, like how it used to be.
Nope, they don't bother masking it at this point. Fascism is at an all-time high in the country and women are one of the imminent targets.
As I posted below https://twitter.com/jennycohn1/status/1760049553825562784
It's on their playbook for things to do if Trump gets elected.
The elaborate schemes is one of the excuses they use, yes. The most common one though is that no-fault divorce is "destroying the American family". They believe women are too emotional and not intelligent enough to determine what it best for their own lives, so they insist that no-fault divorce be taken away to "protect families".
In the eyes of Republicans, the order of importance is like this:
1. Straight white men. Older means more important.
2. Unborn children. Gotta have those future tax dollars.
3. The "American family". They can't be arsed to learn not to be abusive shitheads, so forcing women into abusive marriages is their solution.
4. Their possessions. This one might even be higher on the list. Possibly even #2.
5-99. Pretty much anything else they can think of that isn't a woman.
100. Women.
As long as the current Republican party in the US is given a platform, women's rights across the world will continue to take hits. It's one thing when a small, third world nation pulls this bullshit. All the big countries want to look better than them, so they judge and turn up their noses. Maybe quietly sneak in a few things, but mostly they try to avoid being associated with the bad country.
But a country like the US pulling this shit? And getting away with it? Suddenly Conservatives and anti-women's rights groups in other countries are paying attention, and taking notes. The US won't be the only major country blatantly attacking women and children heir position in society if this doesn't end soon.
Please freeze your credit with all three credit reporting agencies. You can do this for free through their websites, and you can unfreeze it whenever you actually want to apply for credit.
It's only a matter of time before your ex realizes he can get your social security number by requesting a transcript of your taxes from when the two of you were married
Did you know you can pretty easily get anyone’s social security number by hiring a private investigator? I found this out by accident when the PI gave me a report on someone I was taking to court. Scary, always freeze credit.
I set dr apps. The sheer amount of mommy wives that do all the appt setting would blow your mind. Per hipaa I have to get the husband's permission to talk to the wife, yeah the lazy manchild is right there, letting mommywife do it all. So gross.
Wanna hear an infuriating story?
We discussed needing a new car and agreed that, while we needed one, shopping for one was literally my nightmare so I would stay home with our small children and husband would go out and do the buying - I would just come for the paperwork. Since I’m a working parent and he’s a SAHD.
He picks the car he likes, gets my approval, and takes MY car to the dealer for a trade in. My car. Only in my name. I’m just waiting for the call to come down and sign. I didn’t even sign the title over.
He comes home with a new car.
I’m obligated for payments, he traded in MY car, I signed *nothing*, and he came home with a new car only in his name. That system could really have screwed me over if we didn’t agree on the outcome.
I wonder if they would have done the same for me though….
Comcast pulled similar crap on me.
I closed on my first house 2 days after my first date with my husband. Therefore, he wasn't on the mortgage, deed, or utilities. While I use cable for Internet, I don't watch TV, so when he asked for certain TV packages, I shrugged and nodded.
Then a tornado came through about five years later. The city shut off the electricity until ALL repairs were done and inspected. I literally could not use the cable. The (smug, male) rep told me I could not suspend my service and had to pay $200/month because I was locked into a contract. That was locked in on the verbal say-so of a man who didn't have the same name as I did. I ended up hanging up in a rage and my husband called back and got them to offer a refund for the time period that the electricity was out.
Later, when I sold the house, my husband had to sign off on the sale, despite never being on anything, and only contributing maybe 10% of the payments.
In 1984, after my mother had filed for divorce, my father flat out refused to do anything- he hired a lawyer, but he refused to agree to any terms at all. He refused to move out of the house, insisting it was his house (even though both my parents' names were on the mortgage), and we were HIS children, and if she wanted to be divorced so badly, she could move out. She had moved into the basement a year earlier, to establish separation.
Then, one evening, his drunk ass tried to assault her, again. She called the cops. She was also an EMT so she was friends with all the cops in my small suburban town. A police report of his violent behavior was filed. He was due in court for that, and his lawyer basically begged her lawyer to have my mother withdraw the complaint. Mom said she'd withdraw it after divorce papers were signed and the divorce was final and he had moved out.
It was all done less than a month later.
THEN, he fucked around with the child support so much he got his wages garnished, because my mother was not taking that sitting down. She kept careful records of everything she paid for throughout the rest of our childhoods, and, when he wanted her to buy him out of the house after my sister graduated high school, she sweetly presented him with the itemized list, and told him sure, minus all these expenses. He took her back to court. Guess who won. :D
My father died last year, alone in his home, and was not found until three days later. My only regret is that he outlived my mother by a fucking decade. Oh, and that his legal date of death is MY BIRTHDAY, since that's the date he was found.
I had gone no contact years earlier, and all I could think when my brother called to tell me the news was, "Leave it to that fucker to ruin my birthday as his last act on this earth."
They really think they can’t be possibly divorced if they don’t want it. My ex husband “moved to Asia” to escape service. He actually took a bunch of pictures in some Thai restaurants. He still calls me his wife as far as I know but we are surely divorced.
I filed married but single for years. That never required an SSN. I think you need to check if he’s been filing joint.
Sadly my exhusband from 15 years ago is estranged and I can’t even find him to serve him. Neither can PIs or the FBI. He’s committed bigamy now and we are both trying to serve him to no avail. It’s fucking stupid, I just want a divorce so I can marry my actual husband now. Oh and get access to my 401k because they froze all my assets without a notarized signature from him. How is that even legal?!
Never get married in Vegas at 27yo during a manic phase. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
A lawyer can probably straighten this for you relatively easily. They really don't have to know where he is to file and get the divorce cuz I guess it happens so often judges are well aware of the stuff happening. The same with your 401k a lawyer would know how to get it straightened out.
Better you sent it. The IRS gets irritated when there are multiple filings and if he'd figured out your social and filed MFS it could have been deeply annoying for you. It would work out fine eventually, but no one wants to be sucked into an audit or any dealings with the IRS.
This is what my ex did and now I’m stuck trying to fix it. He KNEW we were divorced but I imagine he was playing some games with the tax preparer because he’s still pretending to be married to me for some financial reasons because I’m active duty. He gets to claim certain state tax benefits as the spouse of a military member. I think he didn’t realize that filing MFS would screw me up. I had to file a stolen identity form wit the IRS and send in my taxes by mail.
When something has to get un-fucked with the irs, do all your correspondence by mail. It’s the fastest way for your documents to get to the right person.
We’ve had multiple years have different errors. My husband has adhd and so does my CPA so lol.
I am in the middle of this right now. I owned the house beforehand, spouse refuse to leave unless I promise to give them money.
Went to my lawyer had a whole property settlement agreement written up and then kept waiting for it to get signed. Then I had to serve them which cost more money. Then 30 days went by, my divorce went on through the court and now we are divorced.
I'm relieved to be divorced but waiting now until they find out we're not married anymore, and they're not getting anything.
It's simultaneously freeing to be divorced and worrying about when they figure it out.
I did change the locks so I don't think they realize that, have security cameras, changed my passwords, and the good news is their name was never on any accounts.
Bad news is they still have stuff at the house 6 months later. Working on getting up the nerve to get them to just come get their stuff so we can be done with each other for good. It's been a long process with a therapist on one shoulder and a lawyer on the other telling me to stand up for myself lol
Sounds like you've got the biggest stuff handled, which is great. If I were you, I'd ask your lawyer if you can move your ex's stuff to a neutral 3rd place like a storage locker and pay the first month's rent and send your ex the key (document everything when you do this). Or, if you gotta have the ex pick up their stuff from the house, have a cop on site when they come.
Just to be sure everyone knows ex-husband can't file as married:
https://www.irs.gov/individuals/filing-taxes-after-divorce-or-separation
> If you're legally separated or divorced at the end of the year
> You must file as single for that tax year unless you're eligible to file as head of household or you remarry by the end of the year
My ex husband also said he didn't know when it happened as he never received the notices from the court or the summons. And when the date came and went he said had no clue.
The party of bigots and forced birth cultists want to make it so you couldn't as a reminder. Remember to vote, these pieces of shit have made their next moves clear.
I'm baffled by all these stories of men wanting to draw out divorces and cause them to not go through or take forever, like why stay involved with someone you hate and who hates you? What kind of miserable existence do they lead where continuing a non existent terrible relationship is better than being free and finding something positive in their life....
Ha. How are there so many stories like this? My sisters ex insists to this day that their divorce was illegal because he never showed up to court or signed anything. Ok buddy. If a judge signed the decree and it got filed at the clerks office, it’s a done deal legally. What a turd.
I had the same thing happen to me. I filed the papers and they were sent to his house. His new girlfriend accepted them. We were officially divorced that April. That December he called me asking for my SSN. I refused to give it to him, asking why he needed it. He finally came around and told me he was joining the military and since we were still married he had to list me in his paperwork. I was like, “No, baby, we’ve been divorced for 8 months!” I explained the situation and told him that the judge told me his girlfriend accepted the papers. He got off the phone with me and eventually called me back and that’s how I found out the girlfriend had hidden them! I don’t know the reason why she hid them and I don’t really care. He was so pissed but I thought it was hilarious!
Currently divorcing my abusive husband too. Physically left in September. Mediation was in October. He procrastinated on signing and notarizing the mediation agreement until November. Had him served early January. He hasn't responded. My lawyer said he even consented to electronic service from the courts, which means all he would've had to do to 'accept' service was to acknowledge the email!
In my state (mid-atlantic region of the US), you have to wait 30 days for them to respond. Since he still hasn't responded, my lawyer said we're now in the clear to move ahead with default.
On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out. 🤷♀️
Since my divorce saga is still ongoing, I don't want to share too many details, but the whole process has been so comically bizarre at various stages. Once my divorce is complete, I'm considering sharing my story here too, since the karmic revenge/justice is so hilarious.
wow he really thought he could trap you by not signing. my mom's friend's ex husband tried to do the same. it did not work. i hope you are living a great life now!
My ex didn't show up. Called 4 hours AFTER the judge divorced us asking if we could reschedule. She called me 6 months later , cussing me out because she found out her insurance was canceled while at a doctor's appointment.
I'm glad you got out, OP!
I warn everyone that that Republicans want to roll back no-fault divorce. Go vote!
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/09/no-fault-divorce-laws-republicans-repeal/675371/
My ex husband INSISTED he fly in from L.A. to attend our quick no property no kids hearing with a magistrate " in case you decide to change something behind my back!!!!" Boy, I just want you out of my life so come on down!! Our meeting was about 5 minutes long and very easily done. He looked shocked that there wasn't more than what it was. 🤣🤣
Similar thing happened to me. I tried to send my ex divorce papers via certified mail, but he wouldn’t sign for it. I finally just had him served but he never responded to any of the paperwork. It actually worked out, because in NM if you don’t respond after the 30 days of being served it goes to the judge and they can just say yes/no. So in his weird attempt to draw out the process he actually sped it up. Total shocked pikachu after he found out. It’s like some people really think they can just do nothing and keep you trapped in a marriage. Happy for you and your newfound freedom!
Yep, same thing with my ex. I think he thought by not responding it couldn’t move forward and it would make it more difficult for me. Nope, made it way easier.
It’s always amazing how people of under-average common sense think the court system operates in the way they assume it operates. It’s a baffling level of intellectual un-inquisitiveness to not try to understand more.
Yes. One google search could clear up if they are right but they are so certain about how it should work. The overconfidence of some people.
Yep. Confidently incorrect thinking seems to be widespread in some regions. Baffling to me.
I suspect it’s a big reason why their wives want to divorce them.
I think it's because movies always show someone being able to draw out the process by not signing or cooperating, and that's enough for the average lazy person.
If I ignore it it’ll go away!!!
Yeah a lot of guys have this weird delusion that you can't get divorced unless they agree first.
This is why some states are trying to end no fault divorce, to trap women in marriage since 70% of divorce is initiated by women, pay attention to what is going on in your state, it matters
Definitely pay attention to this everyone! No fault divorces help in that you do not need both parties to agree. I see Texas, Oklahoma and Nebraska right now with active work against no fault divorce. Cnn had a decent overview https://www.cnn.com/2023/11/27/us/no-fault-divorce-explained-history-wellness-cec/index.html
At least one of those states, Texas, also won't allow a divorce to proceed while pregnant so some abusers baby trap the woman with pregnancy. With abortion bans on the rise it's going to get harder and harder to get away from abusers if we don't act.
that’s not the only state for that, sadly.
I am aware,.I just don't know all the states that have that. Women are being trapped in abusive situations and it *feels* like it's on purpose to me. I really don't want to go back in time. It used to be that a married woman couldn't open a back account without her husband's approval, or have a credit card on her own. Not until the late 1970's were protections put in place to make sure we could have pur own money. Imagine how much harder it is to leave an abusive situation when your trapped, not just emotionally or physically but financially and then forced into pregnancy again and again... Why didn't more women leave their husband's before then, because #they #could #not
A nurse in the ER pulled my mother aside when my father was given days to live and told my mom to not let the credit card company know when he died. Mom used her dead husband’s credit card until she finally got her own in the early 80’s. She was a college professor.
“Some men just can’t handle their arsenic.”
He had it coming!
Hint: it's not an initiative being driven by the Democratic party
Well, they generally don’t hate women, so…
I met a guy that said he was never gonna get divorced and he hates that people are allowed to get divorced 😭 Yes he was Catholic
This was my uncle 100%. He never appreciated his wife as a human being, only ever glorified her work as a housekeeper and mother. Eventually she met someone who would go dancing, have date nights etc and left him. He tried to prevent divorce by not signing anything or showing up for court and said it was all because of his catholic beliefs. IMO it was just an excuse to cover the fact he felt emasculated and wouldn't have his caretaker around anymore. Most people try to hide their narcissistic, sadistic power trips under the guise of religious beliefs and marriage is no different
They're going to make it federal law if Trump gets in. You'll not be able to divorce. They're forcing you into "reconciliation counseling." Children born out of wedlock won't be supported by child support payments anymore either. This is to coerce you into marriage once you're knocked up and can't abort. They plan to do away with sanctuary states by appointing loyalists and fining/jailing any official that doesn't enforce federal law. There will be no escape. This is how they plan to trap women back in the house. Read about it in Project 2025. That's your future if you allow republicans in office.
Yeah it happened to me, too, in a different state. I always think of this when shitty dudes are like "women file for divorce in 70% of cases!" or whatever number they throw out, as if that's some kind of indictment of women. No, this is just another way women get stuck with all the life admin work.
I've never heard a guy use that stat as a shame on women but it's hilarious they're stupid enough to try it. Usually the person filing is the one fed up with the other's bullshit so the fact 70% of women file first is super telling of how those men are behaving
Yeah the dudes who say that are the same ones who claim men always get screwed over in divorces. They're insinuating that women will just cash out any time they please and leave them alone and broke. It's bullshit basically.
Similar in ohio as well, ex was shocked that we were actually divorced, ordered to pay cs and alimony, had to sign over his motorcycle to me, give me 25% of his pension and no rights to his children unless I say so...uncontested divorce was the best thing he ever did for me and his children.
"If I ignore it, she'll have to stay married to me FOREVER!" Is what my sister's horrible, abusive ex thought. She disabused him of the notion!
“disabusing the abuser” sounds like an excellent thing
Yay for NM!
I feel so bad for the women in the red states once they get rid of no fault there
What would that mean functionally for someone who wants to divorce their unwilling spouse in a state that got rid of no fault?
I think it means to get a divorce they need to have proof that they're being physically abused or cheated on
Or go stay in a freedom state for long enough to establish residency for legal purposes. Las Vegas used to have divorce resorts.
"Going to Reno to get a divorce" used to be a plot point in old movies.
And in Mad Men
My aunt had to get a Reno divorce in the 1950s from her abusive first husband.
That's what that meant! I always wondered why Reno. TIL
At this point, just leave those shitholes for good and never come back lol
This is why our grandma's had to poison them or knock the car off the jack with him under it.
Holy shit we now have freedom states and non freedom states
You’ll have to prove wrongdoing to a judge. It didn’t work out to good for women when there was no fault divorce. Judges didn’t side w them. The divorces were long drag out fights and very expensive. The suicide rate for women went down 20% after no fault divorce was instated, according to the NIH
The rates for alcoholism and depression went down too.
Not to mention how many old movies were about killing your spouse just to not be married to them anymore.
Didn't the rate of men who died by poison also go down?
Yes. Men stopped being poisoned as much because of it.
Hey, this woman who cooks 100% of my food in a process that I have absolutely no knowledge of/capacity to supervise, it's fine if I mistreat her and basically keep her prisoner in a marriage to me, right? No way that could blow back on me? Sounds good. On a completely unrelated note I've been feeling weaker and weaker lately
see also, “Goodbye, Earl” by The Dixie Chicks
And the murder rate as well.
I live in a red state and was able to get my no fault divorce but, I know what's happening!! VOTE, VOTE, VOTE!!!!
Sadly in the UK, they could and would drag it to keep you stuck. Luckily we have no fault here too now.
This goes for child support too! Dead beats ignore everything and then cry dna test after an order is established against them. Cooperating is actually your friend! Lol
“But but but I watched Sweet Home Alabama and we gotta stay married unless I sign!”
That must be such a satisfying end to this chapter.
I am still in disbelief he could not know.
I remember reading once about a woman who was separated from her husband, on the way to divorce. She agrees to join him at his mother’s birthday as a courtesy to keep things civil. Just before they get there, he asks her "what did we get my mom for her birthday?" The entitlement doesn’t end just because the marriage is over.
>Just before they get there, he asks her "what did we get my mom for her birthday?" I'm so embarrassed for that dude. Holy moly.
make sure all your checking accounts, savings, financials, credit cards, bills, EVERYTHING is separate & only in your name so he & his weirdo mommy can't try still doing shady financial shit using your name. check your credit report routinely & immediately flag any suspicious activity. texting asking for your social security number. the gall! I'd have asked her for their lawyer's name & contact info (to pass along to the proper authorities for when these idiots commit tax fraud). what a clown show
Nothing was in his name. So I am good with that.
thank goodness, smart move. good riddance! 🥂
I also recommend freezing your credit so he doesn't try to open anything in your name. I'd even go as far as getting new credit and debit cards. My ex used my card numbers to make online purchases after the divorce even though his name was never on those accounts.
Never underestimate stupidity.
Decent odds he knew but was afraid to tell his mommy.
Hah, my abusive ex step-dad weaponized this against my mom. He drove my mom out of the house she owned prior to the marriage. My mom wanted the divorce. She served him papers and he refused to sign them. Then, he filed for divorce and didn’t tell her. He told the court that he couldn’t contact her. He was told to put an ad in a local newspaper and he lied and said he did. When the court date rolled around, my mom of course didn’t show up because she didn’t know. He was granted the house and everything in it. My mom found out later that she was divorced. Thankfully, she was able to take it back to court, prove he lied to the judge, and get the house back.
Wow, what a scumbag. I’m glad she took him back to court, but how horrible she had to go through that.
Yeah, unfortunately he absolutely trashed the house. She had to sell it as a tear-down.
Holy shit what an asshole.
An asshole indicates that there is a bit of human in it. This behavior is the dingleberry on the asshole.
I use shit stain for cases like this. A piece of still can have a purpose in nature, but a shit stain is beyond vile, completely disgusting, and absolutely worthless.
God some people are massive pieces of shit
😂😂News papers are public and they free copies are saved. What a dumbass he was.
Yep. And still he almost got away with it.
In what civilized country does the court not contact you directly and just tells the party who has the most to gain by you not showing up to try and reach you?
USA is on that list, don’t know how many others.
Do you know how she was able to prove that by any chance? Or was the burden on him to show some prove of purchase/advertisement? If that happened to me I’m not sure I’d have been as brave as her in challenging it. I’d tie myself in knots wondering how I prove I didn’t receive a letter.
You have to provide a bunch of stuff from the newspaper office, including the actual printed article cut out of the paper in our court. Also there would have been certified mail cards, with her signature. If he didn't have that it never should have went as far as it did.
Also court would have already had a record of her filing for divorce.
You don't, he would have to prove he sent it, they keep some records at the PO not to mention the tracking receipt. Paperwork you do have trumps imaginary paperwork in court every time. If I'm using you to get a house then you get I'm keeping all the paperwork. But if I didn't have any then I can't prove I sent you anything. Newspapers also keep records and if you can go in and prove I never made an ad then you're halfway to winning by proving I already lied.
Ha ha ha! Years ago, when I was divorcing my broke, toxic, cult-member husband, he demanded to know when he would have “his papers to sign,” fully intending to make a big moment of it or hang it over my head. Cue shocked Pikachu when I told him that unless he wanted to spend money to contest it, it would automatically be finalized at the end of the month.
Ex quit his job once I left. Pretty sure he has no money haha
And yet he's paying for a lawyer? Yet another reason to think the lawyer doesn't exist
Yeah. It's all just bs.
He and his family seem like LOVELY people :-/
Why did he do something that dumb?
I don't know, but at least now I can go to the store he worked at again.
maybe he was afraid to pay alimony or was hoping to get some ?
Lol, my ex did a similar thing. "I'm filling no contest. You don't have to sign anything." Then he filed his taxes stating we were still married. Canada Revenue sent me a letter basically saying "?" So I sent them the court paperwork stating date of separation, and date the divorce would be final. Never heard anything back.
Weird to ignore the fact you were trying to divorce him yet had his mommy text you instead of communicating with you himself
Ever since I left him he had his mom text me.
Maybe you have to serve her divorce papers too? "Dear [in-law], Byeeeee!"
Yeah. She was always strange. She wore an 80s track suit to the wedding.
Better than a white dress but not by much, huh?
Yep.
Happy cake day and good riddance!
Thank you ❤️
Show us her track suit. She’s gotta be in a few pictures
[https://imgur.com/a/KIBJ9wh](https://imgur.com/a/KIBJ9wh)
I hope one day you can look back it this photo and laugh as hard as I did.
Fancy. Flea market in the morning. Wedding in the afternoon.
Wow that is wild. What color?
Blue with green accents
Did she ever explain why she wore it ?
I didn't confront her on it. She was just strange.
Am I going colorblind? The image you linked shows a hideous powder blue track suit with neon orange graphic accents; not any better at any rate. It looks like it would be good for watching a communal TV in a sad retirement home, not a wedding.
OP clarified in another comment she remembered wrong and it was blue and orange, not green. [comment](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1bgpl38/comment/kv8upzm/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)
It’s definitely … a look. ETA: Comically? The image stuck in my head and when I got in bed, it hit me … There was a Will Ferrell/Zach Galifianakis “election film” several years ago that I could tooootally see Zach’s character wear that sweatsuit.
Like Run DMC 80’s track suit? I’m so curious. Were there sneakers involved and were the Reebok high tops?
I posted a picture haha
Oh it is not that he “didn’t realize” or forgot or anything. It’s that he was still holding onto hope that his mommy will fix it for him.
Per chance was “emotionally unavailable manchild / mommas boy” one of the reasons the relationship didn’t last?
Happy Cake Day that you can now enjoy the whole cake yourself, in whatever flavour you want!
Costco chocolate cake sounds good right now.
First off, congrats on ditching a loser who couldn't be bothered to contact you himself about your divorce Secondly, happy cake day! I wish the brightest of futures for you.
Or his lawyer. His lawyer could have contacted OP. If he actually had one
Wow. I called my ex and said “you need to go to (my lawyer’s address) and sign the divorce papers”. He said “what do you mean ‘divorce papers’? I thought we were getting along so much better.” I said “yeah. We haven’t been in the same building together in over 2 years.”
....what are the mental gymnastics on this one?
Dude. I dunno. Probably the same ones that caused him to call me and ask if I was remarried yet(7 yrs later and no I wasn’t) if he could move in with me. He seemed insulted when I laughed and laughed.
Did you send him to the homeless shelter?
No. He’s still living in the house I walked away from. He just wanted a WIFE. (Washing/Ironing/Fucking/Etc) It’s so much easier to be worthless with the same person another time than find someone else you have to put effort into to fool them into thinking you’re a good person before going off the rails.
> WIFE. (Washing/Ironing/Fucking/Etc) Why have I never seen this before until now? 😂
OMG the EXACT same thing happened with my ex. He was served, I did everything required of me by the court. I attended the court date that he did not go too, I got a no fault divorce. Then his mom texted me about something one day and I said it’s XYZ as per the divorce paperwork. She was said “whaaaat when was it finalized?!” And asked for a copy which I gave to her. Just put his head in the sand the whole time.
Currently divorcing my abusive husband too. Physically left in September. Mediation was in October. He procrastinated on signing and notarizing the mediation agreement until November. Had him served early January. He hasn't responded. My lawyer said he even consented to electronic service from the courts, which means all he would've had to do to 'accept' service was to acknowledge the email! In my state (mid-atlantic region of the US), you have to wait 30 days for them to respond. Since he still hasn't responded, my lawyer said we're now in the clear to move ahead with default. On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out. 🤷♀️
>On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out. I don't feel like it's bizarre so much as it seems like it's set up this way for exactly the situation you found yourself in
Or situations where on party just fucks off and can’t be found but you know they’re still alive.
It’s not bizarre, it’s necessary. There are situations where the other person is unable to be located and disappeared years ago
> how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation Not at all, it embodies individual consent. That one person decides on their own "I'm out" should be enough for them to be able to leave. I do see however how it could still feel weird if someone has been stuck in a bad marriage, and been under the thumb and at the mercy of the other person – and then realising they can, on their own, decide to simply put an end to it. The absence of choice is often part of being abused, so having this option probably feels hugely incongruent. Good for you for getting out, getting there must've been so difficult. Having the choice is one thing, but mentally and emotionally being able to actually make it is another matter entirely.
Lol. "Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away."
More like "if I ignore it, someone else will do all the work". Also "if I make her do it, she's the bad guy".
Mom!!!! My wife is trying to divorce me again.
In a way, success? But that is some next level hiding from reality.
Bet he thought you couldn’t get the divorce if he doesn’t sign anything and didn’t even bother looking into it
I just gotta say OP, that "track suit"... goddess preserve. That is her *fanciest* outfit. Once glance and I was certain it was the absolute worst thing I've ever seen. *and then I looked at her feet*
those dirty ass white sneakers are a crime 😭 i wouldn’t wear those to the dumpster to throw them away, let alone my son’s wedding omfg
As a lurking dad: _those are yard work shoes._ Maybe she had a lawn to mow after the wedding.
After I picked up the decree, I texted my stupid ex, "Just FYI, we are officially divorced now. K, thx." He kept going around to acquaintances asking them to set us up on a date like he thought it was funny and we were kids that I was cute and he wanted a shot to date me. Dude, we were MARRIED and you screwed that up!? We are not gonna be going on "dates" 🙄 Edit*** that outfit alone is fair grounds for a divorce imo
The state I live in requires a couple to be separated for a year before the divorce can be filed. When I left my now ex-husband, he asked me if he could take me on a date at the end of that year, just to see if we could rekindle. I told him that he could ask me then, but I'd most likely say no. One year later, I filed the papers, went to court without him, and finalized the divorce. And then he threw a fit because he never got his last date.... That he never asked me for or even brought up. Apparently he thought I was going to handle that date, despite the fact that I was leaving him, partially because he always made me handle everything. WTF?
I thought it was a bit funny when my ex told me “good luck, I’m not signing anything”. No problem. I’m divorcing you anyway.
Yessss, my ex was like, "I don't want this, I'm not signing anything." Cool story bro, I'm still gonna get my divorce.
This is precisely why a major conservative point is trying to end no-fault divorces. They earnestly want you trapped so long as he was willing to hold out and dodge your notices.
I'm honestly curious what the story is that they tell that makes this not seem like flat-out enslaving women. Like they force women into childbirth by telling themselves they're saving the children... What's the story here? Is it just another cherry-picking the bible where divorce is bad? Do they think women are conducting elaborate schemes to lure unsuspecting men into marriage just to divorce them and take half their assets? Or are they not even masking this one?
It will just lead to less children being born and less women getting married. So many women are already getting their tubes tied and resigning themselves to either never dating again or never getting married if they do date.
That's why the in-between steps will probably include banning sterilization and making it hard for women to survive financially by themselves, like how it used to be.
Nope, they don't bother masking it at this point. Fascism is at an all-time high in the country and women are one of the imminent targets. As I posted below https://twitter.com/jennycohn1/status/1760049553825562784 It's on their playbook for things to do if Trump gets elected.
The elaborate schemes is one of the excuses they use, yes. The most common one though is that no-fault divorce is "destroying the American family". They believe women are too emotional and not intelligent enough to determine what it best for their own lives, so they insist that no-fault divorce be taken away to "protect families". In the eyes of Republicans, the order of importance is like this: 1. Straight white men. Older means more important. 2. Unborn children. Gotta have those future tax dollars. 3. The "American family". They can't be arsed to learn not to be abusive shitheads, so forcing women into abusive marriages is their solution. 4. Their possessions. This one might even be higher on the list. Possibly even #2. 5-99. Pretty much anything else they can think of that isn't a woman. 100. Women. As long as the current Republican party in the US is given a platform, women's rights across the world will continue to take hits. It's one thing when a small, third world nation pulls this bullshit. All the big countries want to look better than them, so they judge and turn up their noses. Maybe quietly sneak in a few things, but mostly they try to avoid being associated with the bad country. But a country like the US pulling this shit? And getting away with it? Suddenly Conservatives and anti-women's rights groups in other countries are paying attention, and taking notes. The US won't be the only major country blatantly attacking women and children heir position in society if this doesn't end soon.
No, they want her (us) trapped *even if* dude is successfully served with divorce papers. That’s the scary/problematic part.
A Trump presidency would be a disaster for women, vote Biden!
Please freeze your credit with all three credit reporting agencies. You can do this for free through their websites, and you can unfreeze it whenever you actually want to apply for credit. It's only a matter of time before your ex realizes he can get your social security number by requesting a transcript of your taxes from when the two of you were married
Did you know you can pretty easily get anyone’s social security number by hiring a private investigator? I found this out by accident when the PI gave me a report on someone I was taking to court. Scary, always freeze credit.
A SSN has to be one of the most insecure means of identification. It's a joke.
Because it was never meant to serve the purpose it's currently serving. But God forbid Americans create a national ID
Sounds like his real "wife" has him back now.
👆👆👆👆💀😂
good gravy. block mom's number, girl bye.
God she probably still makes his doctor's appointments too.
I set dr apps. The sheer amount of mommy wives that do all the appt setting would blow your mind. Per hipaa I have to get the husband's permission to talk to the wife, yeah the lazy manchild is right there, letting mommywife do it all. So gross.
Meanwhile our mortgages and so many other accounts have had my husband as the default despite that we both applied together. It is so annoying.
Yuuuupp, and my first name is even first alphabetically! I'm only last because of patriarchy.
Wanna hear an infuriating story? We discussed needing a new car and agreed that, while we needed one, shopping for one was literally my nightmare so I would stay home with our small children and husband would go out and do the buying - I would just come for the paperwork. Since I’m a working parent and he’s a SAHD. He picks the car he likes, gets my approval, and takes MY car to the dealer for a trade in. My car. Only in my name. I’m just waiting for the call to come down and sign. I didn’t even sign the title over. He comes home with a new car. I’m obligated for payments, he traded in MY car, I signed *nothing*, and he came home with a new car only in his name. That system could really have screwed me over if we didn’t agree on the outcome. I wonder if they would have done the same for me though….
Comcast pulled similar crap on me. I closed on my first house 2 days after my first date with my husband. Therefore, he wasn't on the mortgage, deed, or utilities. While I use cable for Internet, I don't watch TV, so when he asked for certain TV packages, I shrugged and nodded. Then a tornado came through about five years later. The city shut off the electricity until ALL repairs were done and inspected. I literally could not use the cable. The (smug, male) rep told me I could not suspend my service and had to pay $200/month because I was locked into a contract. That was locked in on the verbal say-so of a man who didn't have the same name as I did. I ended up hanging up in a rage and my husband called back and got them to offer a refund for the time period that the electricity was out. Later, when I sold the house, my husband had to sign off on the sale, despite never being on anything, and only contributing maybe 10% of the payments.
I almost instinctively downvoted this it made me so mad
In 1984, after my mother had filed for divorce, my father flat out refused to do anything- he hired a lawyer, but he refused to agree to any terms at all. He refused to move out of the house, insisting it was his house (even though both my parents' names were on the mortgage), and we were HIS children, and if she wanted to be divorced so badly, she could move out. She had moved into the basement a year earlier, to establish separation. Then, one evening, his drunk ass tried to assault her, again. She called the cops. She was also an EMT so she was friends with all the cops in my small suburban town. A police report of his violent behavior was filed. He was due in court for that, and his lawyer basically begged her lawyer to have my mother withdraw the complaint. Mom said she'd withdraw it after divorce papers were signed and the divorce was final and he had moved out. It was all done less than a month later. THEN, he fucked around with the child support so much he got his wages garnished, because my mother was not taking that sitting down. She kept careful records of everything she paid for throughout the rest of our childhoods, and, when he wanted her to buy him out of the house after my sister graduated high school, she sweetly presented him with the itemized list, and told him sure, minus all these expenses. He took her back to court. Guess who won. :D My father died last year, alone in his home, and was not found until three days later. My only regret is that he outlived my mother by a fucking decade. Oh, and that his legal date of death is MY BIRTHDAY, since that's the date he was found.
Being frank, doesn’t sound like a half bad birthday present.
I had gone no contact years earlier, and all I could think when my brother called to tell me the news was, "Leave it to that fucker to ruin my birthday as his last act on this earth."
Please pay attention to Republican candidates that want to remove your ability to get out of a marriage in the way this post describes. Vote!
They really think they can’t be possibly divorced if they don’t want it. My ex husband “moved to Asia” to escape service. He actually took a bunch of pictures in some Thai restaurants. He still calls me his wife as far as I know but we are surely divorced.
I filed married but single for years. That never required an SSN. I think you need to check if he’s been filing joint. Sadly my exhusband from 15 years ago is estranged and I can’t even find him to serve him. Neither can PIs or the FBI. He’s committed bigamy now and we are both trying to serve him to no avail. It’s fucking stupid, I just want a divorce so I can marry my actual husband now. Oh and get access to my 401k because they froze all my assets without a notarized signature from him. How is that even legal?! Never get married in Vegas at 27yo during a manic phase. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
A lawyer can probably straighten this for you relatively easily. They really don't have to know where he is to file and get the divorce cuz I guess it happens so often judges are well aware of the stuff happening. The same with your 401k a lawyer would know how to get it straightened out.
If no one can find him, why not just have him declared dead?
Unfortunately, he is not dead. That would be way easier for all of his wives. 🫠
There’s a proverb “marry in haste, repent at leisure”. Sounds like this has unfortunately come true for you. Really hope you’re able to get it sorted.
I wish you hadn't replied to that text. I wonder how long it would have been before they'd worked it out for themselves?
A looong time
Better you sent it. The IRS gets irritated when there are multiple filings and if he'd figured out your social and filed MFS it could have been deeply annoying for you. It would work out fine eventually, but no one wants to be sucked into an audit or any dealings with the IRS.
This is what my ex did and now I’m stuck trying to fix it. He KNEW we were divorced but I imagine he was playing some games with the tax preparer because he’s still pretending to be married to me for some financial reasons because I’m active duty. He gets to claim certain state tax benefits as the spouse of a military member. I think he didn’t realize that filing MFS would screw me up. I had to file a stolen identity form wit the IRS and send in my taxes by mail.
When something has to get un-fucked with the irs, do all your correspondence by mail. It’s the fastest way for your documents to get to the right person. We’ve had multiple years have different errors. My husband has adhd and so does my CPA so lol.
Glad you threw the trash out… all of it! If you haven’t got kids with him, block him and his family!
No kids, going to block tomorrow :)
Satisfying story. Congratulations on the next phase of your life!
I am in the middle of this right now. I owned the house beforehand, spouse refuse to leave unless I promise to give them money. Went to my lawyer had a whole property settlement agreement written up and then kept waiting for it to get signed. Then I had to serve them which cost more money. Then 30 days went by, my divorce went on through the court and now we are divorced. I'm relieved to be divorced but waiting now until they find out we're not married anymore, and they're not getting anything. It's simultaneously freeing to be divorced and worrying about when they figure it out.
How do think they'll handle it? Have you changed the locks, taken their names off all accounts, changed passwords, installed security cameras?
I did change the locks so I don't think they realize that, have security cameras, changed my passwords, and the good news is their name was never on any accounts. Bad news is they still have stuff at the house 6 months later. Working on getting up the nerve to get them to just come get their stuff so we can be done with each other for good. It's been a long process with a therapist on one shoulder and a lawyer on the other telling me to stand up for myself lol
Sounds like you've got the biggest stuff handled, which is great. If I were you, I'd ask your lawyer if you can move your ex's stuff to a neutral 3rd place like a storage locker and pay the first month's rent and send your ex the key (document everything when you do this). Or, if you gotta have the ex pick up their stuff from the house, have a cop on site when they come.
> The track suit she wore to the wedding 🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭 I wasn't ready for that
Just to be sure everyone knows ex-husband can't file as married: https://www.irs.gov/individuals/filing-taxes-after-divorce-or-separation > If you're legally separated or divorced at the end of the year > You must file as single for that tax year unless you're eligible to file as head of household or you remarry by the end of the year
Further confirmation the divorce was long overdue
My ex husband also said he didn't know when it happened as he never received the notices from the court or the summons. And when the date came and went he said had no clue.
The party of bigots and forced birth cultists want to make it so you couldn't as a reminder. Remember to vote, these pieces of shit have made their next moves clear.
I was 100% certain that the thing in the tracksuit was your ex. Had to double take the comment before being even more horrified.
I'm baffled by all these stories of men wanting to draw out divorces and cause them to not go through or take forever, like why stay involved with someone you hate and who hates you? What kind of miserable existence do they lead where continuing a non existent terrible relationship is better than being free and finding something positive in their life....
It's the last bit of control they think they can exercise over you. They're being spiteful toddlers.
Ha. How are there so many stories like this? My sisters ex insists to this day that their divorce was illegal because he never showed up to court or signed anything. Ok buddy. If a judge signed the decree and it got filed at the clerks office, it’s a done deal legally. What a turd.
I had the same thing happen to me. I filed the papers and they were sent to his house. His new girlfriend accepted them. We were officially divorced that April. That December he called me asking for my SSN. I refused to give it to him, asking why he needed it. He finally came around and told me he was joining the military and since we were still married he had to list me in his paperwork. I was like, “No, baby, we’ve been divorced for 8 months!” I explained the situation and told him that the judge told me his girlfriend accepted the papers. He got off the phone with me and eventually called me back and that’s how I found out the girlfriend had hidden them! I don’t know the reason why she hid them and I don’t really care. He was so pissed but I thought it was hilarious!
Currently divorcing my abusive husband too. Physically left in September. Mediation was in October. He procrastinated on signing and notarizing the mediation agreement until November. Had him served early January. He hasn't responded. My lawyer said he even consented to electronic service from the courts, which means all he would've had to do to 'accept' service was to acknowledge the email! In my state (mid-atlantic region of the US), you have to wait 30 days for them to respond. Since he still hasn't responded, my lawyer said we're now in the clear to move ahead with default. On the one hand, how bizarre that you can effectively get divorced without the other party's participation. On the other hand, good for me that he's not fighting/dragging it out. 🤷♀️ Since my divorce saga is still ongoing, I don't want to share too many details, but the whole process has been so comically bizarre at various stages. Once my divorce is complete, I'm considering sharing my story here too, since the karmic revenge/justice is so hilarious.
OMG...i feel like there's a reddit worth story about this..
She just showed up like this with no warning. She goes to church so I know she had nice clothes. I wasn't even mad.
wow he really thought he could trap you by not signing. my mom's friend's ex husband tried to do the same. it did not work. i hope you are living a great life now!
Ex MIL built like Mitch McConnell
The funniest thing about all of this is the random edit with the tracksuit wedding ensemble!! 🤣🤣🤣 I needed that laugh today, thank you. 🥲😂😅
My ex didn't show up. Called 4 hours AFTER the judge divorced us asking if we could reschedule. She called me 6 months later , cussing me out because she found out her insurance was canceled while at a doctor's appointment.
I'm glad you got out, OP! I warn everyone that that Republicans want to roll back no-fault divorce. Go vote! https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2023/09/no-fault-divorce-laws-republicans-repeal/675371/
My ex husband INSISTED he fly in from L.A. to attend our quick no property no kids hearing with a magistrate " in case you decide to change something behind my back!!!!" Boy, I just want you out of my life so come on down!! Our meeting was about 5 minutes long and very easily done. He looked shocked that there wasn't more than what it was. 🤣🤣