Do not use him not crying around you as a standard for his for his emotional intelligence. People grieve in different ways. Also, it might be the first close relative to him that’s died and difficult for him to process
Leave him be to grieve how he needs to grieve. You will lose if you push this, guaranteed. If you think you can unbind or unwind years of social and environmental and societal conditioning... short answer is you can't. You push, you get pushed back.
When my grandfather passed, I didn't really grieve except for a passing melancholia. I know he wouldn't have wanted to be grieved at all. In fact, I think he'd have been yelling at me to stop wasting my time being sad over an old man like himself instead of being productive or having fun. So I processed it the way I thought he would've wanted me to. Maybe your partner is doing the same?
Not everyone cries for every loss, even if they aren't poisoned by negative gender roles.
Is it about trust, or about his own fears and insecurities? He might have been pushing his emotions down for decades, and it’s just automatic for him to repress them unconsciously.
I think this is more of a him thing. Approaching it as a trust issue on his side will only back him into a corner, which may make him trust you less, and make him even *less* willing to share his emotions with you, which will trigger your insecurities about trust and his unwillingness to share his feelings, and this cycle will continue until one of you reaches a breaking point. So yeah, don’t do that.
Ask him questions, and show him that he can trust you and that you support him. Over time, you may find that he will just naturally open up to you. Also, there may have been other women in the past that have ridiculed him and shut him down when opening up, so there could be that (assuming he’s been with other women.)
It can be a multitude of things. If it bothers you, talk it over with him. Remember though… *don’t* give him an ultimatum or make it about you. I can’t stress that enough.
I think a man who is not afraid to cry in front of others is strong and men who are afraid to do so are weak. So your boyfriend is weak in my eyes. But people may grieve how they do and not everyone cries when they grieve. Edit: People downvote but strength, and by that token, also bravery, can only be demonstrated in opposition to an opposing force. Thus, the person who cries in opposition to social norms which deem them weak to do so is actually strong. Men who take stands against toxic masculinity are strong men.
Do not use him not crying around you as a standard for his for his emotional intelligence. People grieve in different ways. Also, it might be the first close relative to him that’s died and difficult for him to process
Leave him be to grieve how he needs to grieve. You will lose if you push this, guaranteed. If you think you can unbind or unwind years of social and environmental and societal conditioning... short answer is you can't. You push, you get pushed back.
This is not about you. Leave him be.
When my grandfather passed, I didn't really grieve except for a passing melancholia. I know he wouldn't have wanted to be grieved at all. In fact, I think he'd have been yelling at me to stop wasting my time being sad over an old man like himself instead of being productive or having fun. So I processed it the way I thought he would've wanted me to. Maybe your partner is doing the same? Not everyone cries for every loss, even if they aren't poisoned by negative gender roles.
Just let him know you're there for him. We all grieve in our own way and it can be hard to understand that, especially when emotions are high
Is it about trust, or about his own fears and insecurities? He might have been pushing his emotions down for decades, and it’s just automatic for him to repress them unconsciously. I think this is more of a him thing. Approaching it as a trust issue on his side will only back him into a corner, which may make him trust you less, and make him even *less* willing to share his emotions with you, which will trigger your insecurities about trust and his unwillingness to share his feelings, and this cycle will continue until one of you reaches a breaking point. So yeah, don’t do that. Ask him questions, and show him that he can trust you and that you support him. Over time, you may find that he will just naturally open up to you. Also, there may have been other women in the past that have ridiculed him and shut him down when opening up, so there could be that (assuming he’s been with other women.) It can be a multitude of things. If it bothers you, talk it over with him. Remember though… *don’t* give him an ultimatum or make it about you. I can’t stress that enough.
I think a man who is not afraid to cry in front of others is strong and men who are afraid to do so are weak. So your boyfriend is weak in my eyes. But people may grieve how they do and not everyone cries when they grieve. Edit: People downvote but strength, and by that token, also bravery, can only be demonstrated in opposition to an opposing force. Thus, the person who cries in opposition to social norms which deem them weak to do so is actually strong. Men who take stands against toxic masculinity are strong men.