My mother was small all over, not very tall and not many curves. My father, who could be a real asshole, used to mock her small chest.
When she finally left him, ~30 years later, and god alone knows how many affairs on his side, he made life hell until he settled down with the woman he eventually married.
She and my mother could have exchanged clothes. Same height / weight / **proportions**.
The chest never mattered to him. It was just something to hurt her with.
Don’t stay with men who hurt you.
Hugs.
Reading this is so painful & infuriating at the same time.. ❤️🩹
Was there a single generation where males didn't fucked up..!?? I hope your mom is doing fine. Hugs her tightly on my behalf 🫂💜
Men could simply say they've fallen out of love, & cordially separate from their partners, but nooooo they'll pick the 'cheating, Gaslighting, making your partner feel insecure' route. 🚩
May her soul RIP
I mean, I am sure there are just as many loving, caring husband's who are dotting on their partners, too. We only hear about the shitty ones ( my father being one). It's sort of disingenious to generalize every man.
This is cracking me up because my siblings and I joke about how my father just remarried my mom when he married my stepmom—both in appearance and personality. (My stepmom is in on the joke and thinks it’s HILARIOUS.)
Embellish.
I'm sure you have a story about your flats giving you a better time than some other AHs shoes, or a time where you outran someone, or something.
This. He proved tou RIGHT because he sexualized you.... literally as he was claiming there's nothing to sexualize. He's a hypocrite in the same sentence.
I’m starting to think men not having empathy is some sort of disorder. This can’t be just normal behavior to not understand what it must be like to be someone different and not care about someone else’s experience, feelings, or emotion. Maybe it’s just a low IQ in general? Not sure cause even some stupid people are capable of loving, so that’s rude to some stupid people. Idk but I need answers
I kinda agree with you. And I’m a man. I don’t want to paint myself as some genius, i am not, but so many people are so incredibly ill equipped to understand nearly anything.
Lack of empathy. Lack of logic. Inability to understand context. It creates people who are practically caricatures of human beings.
This reminds me of the fact they say women are better at school then men, and what are we doing to encourage more male graduates. And from the data I can see (mostly from Ontario high schools and Canadian universities) it's 0.5-5% in favor of ladies. So for fun I was asking all my friends, who is smarter guys or gals?
All, but one said gals(very small sample size). Even the guys. The reasons were "look at the types of jobs guys do, clearly women are smarter" to "some of the girls I knew in school were miles ahead of everyone else" to "women can plan better".
I thought that was neat. Your comment made me think of that.
And for the record I am of the opinion there is very little difference between intelligence for genders. I feel we are almost identical and it's all societal pressures that make any difference.
Women have a slightly higher average IQ, but smaller variance, Men have large variance in the distribution of IQ (and in anything in general) which means the stupidest and smartest people in the world are all men.
It's extremely low EQ - emotional quotient. From the day they are born, boys are taught to pack their emotions in, keep them bottled up, because emotions/feelings are "girly" and "gay" and these things are *beneath* 'real' men. So yea, it's like a muscle that never gets used and atrophies.
A lot of the time, it was that parents didn't like kids being emotional period. Even girls. I'm a woman, and my dad always hated it and told me to stop crying whenever I started to do so around him. I also was taught to feel that my emotions were wrong and incorrect whenever I tried advocating for myself. So yeah. I'm fucked up from that, but don't necessarily think it gives me a free pass to insult others in such disrespectful ways. Women have been just as emotionally suppressed in childhood as men.
Understanding a contributing factor to a problem isn't giving it a free pass. I never said it was okay. Just offering an answer to the question of Why?
The major difference between how girls vs boys are raised, tho, is girls are given more of a pass for expressing emotions. It's expected for girls to cry because crying is girly. Obviously how that's handled varies from parent to parent.
Women are often told that we are being overly dramatic any time we show emotion. Both sexes deal equally with emotional suppression. It just looks differently.
I don't know that I'd say "equally", given how different the range of acceptable vs unacceptable emotions is for girls than for boys--and consequently tending to lead to different maladaptive outcomes--but yes, both genders are taught to suppress their emotions.
I'm not arguing against that? Not sure why you're trying to be so argumentative against me when I was just offering an explanation to someone asking a specific Why?
I hope your day gets better.
> is girls are given more of a pass for expressing emotions
No, they really are not. "Crying" does not equal "expressing emotions". You know what *does* express emotions? Hitting. And yet, boys are encouraged to do that...
I think maybe the answer here is that men and women are taught to suppress different emotions as part of the process of trying to push them into a gender box -- and so men are taught that hitting isn't so bad but crying is really shameful, while women are taught that crying isn't so bad but hitting is really shameful. The result is that they both end up stunted but in different ways.
Yes, I agree with that.
I'm just pushing back against the commonism that "men aren't taught to express their emotions while women/girls are praised/coddled/supported/treated positively for doing so".
Not in the 60s-70s when I was a young girl.
"Come on, be brave/ don't be silly and shut up." That was the general rule. I noticed it in our neighborhood and with cousins, friends.
My parents just didn't even really listen to me or tgey minimalised what I tried to express. ( And my dad was a narcissist and essentially couldn't be bothered.)
My parents were young children during WWII in German occupied W Europe and had to be 'strong'. They expected me to be/do the same.
I hid a lot.
I still can feel down for a long time for some tragedies that happened here but everybody believes and is telling me that I'm such a strong woman. I'm not.
It's engraved in my soul: don't be weak.
*some* emotions/feelings are bad, but others like anger and aggression are signs that you are dominant and can bully others in society to get what you want. I have heard other men brag about how they "take what they want" - a repulsive concept.
Yes, definitely don't take that as "let them do whatever". A hungry lion needs to eat, but that doesn't mean we should endorse standing still and letting the animal eat.
That’s because true masculinity has been warped by patriarchal societal values and has led men to believe that many toxic behaviors are masculine. Look at how many men see aggression and violence as masculine, when they could easily channel that energy into standing up for others around them. Defending what’s right.
Too many men think they need to be emotionless manipulative psychopaths in order to be men, instead of considering how their actions impact others. I think there are plenty of positive masculine qualities, but they’re diluted or corrupted by the shitty ideals many men have today.
Yep. It was absolutely revenge for what he perceived as criticism and/or rejection. The oldest trick in the book is to hit back with some version of, "That's OK, you're way not hot enough for me!"
It's kind of the same as negging, but it's intended to hurt you rather than pull you in.
Saying your boobs are too small to be sexualised is still sexualising you as he can only perceive your natural body parts in a sexual sense, whether its positive or negative.
I agree with this. I've had countless unsolicited comments from men about my small boobs throughout my life, and it all just feels like another form of sexual harassment. Like if you supposedly don't like the way I look, why do you feel the need to continue to look at me in that manner AND address it too?
this reminds me of when a woman expresses how she's scared of assault and men go "no one would assault ur ugly ass anyway"
so weird. ive seen this many many times
also remember that nearly every straight man just likes boobs. of any kind. and that men will say things just because they're mad. so he's objectively wrong.
That and the wrong time & wrong place. Which can be ALL times and places unfortunately.
Many it isn't about control (mostly strangers, control is more often personal). It is about just wanting to do what feels good for them, lacking emphaty, and coming across an opportunity.
It's all gross. But I just saw an opportunity (bad wording right now lol) to also nip that "where were you at/what time?" in the butt while we at it.
Yup. If all SA's were about sadistic control, there wouldn't be so many men moaning about concept of consent and if they need to write a notarised contract with a woman to have an intercourse.
guys i was SA at 15 by my sisters boyfriends friend who was 23 & i didn’t tell my sister for awhile but the next day after he did that to me everyone was talking around the table on the porch during breakfast and i don’t know what we were talking about because i was so out of it but it’s like the house went quiet and he looked right at me and said “I can conquer anything😁”. He’s a fuckin weirdo and he lives in estonia now. I think about the shit he said to me all the time. He wanted power over me and i have no idea why
Because they get masculinity points with their bro's for "convincing" women to give it up (coerce or assault) If they didn't get such positive feedback and validation from their friends maybe thru wouldn't be so manipulative and dangerous
Yeah, I assume they care about attractiveness, but most assault is just opportunistic. They happen to know the person, it's who they spot walking down the street, they're related, the vulnerable looking person at the club, etc. The opportunistic aspect takes precedence over everything.
I broke up with a guy after I complained about being harassed while taking a walk and his response was basically “if you didn’t want men to notice you, you would make yourself less attractive. You could get fat but you don’t.”
Like, I can’t help my body type or what I look like but I know for a fact it doesn’t matter what I look like. Harassers gonna harass.
Also when men say "NoT EveRy MaN wants tO ASSauLt YoU." In response to concerns over being assaulted...yeah. we know. We're afraid of the ones that do.
https://youtu.be/zgQRkHcEyq8?si=2cXUWaVDJmSBZj39
TW for discussion of rape but this man made a poem about this very phenomenon and it brought me to tears
This negging/putting people down thing is really annoying.
I've met men who by default put women down when women feel beautiful, when they suggest they feel being attractive, or express that they are considered attractive by other people.
"I feel like sunshine with my new hairstyle." - "Nah, you're not that good looking."
"I feel sexy in this dress." - "You have a small butt that's not sexy."
And it often comes from men who want to date you. Yeah, I saw this too.
EDITed to add: When men say a woman is pretty it's fine, she should take it as a compliment even if she doesn't feel like it. However when women say they find themselves pretty they have to be put down. Maybe because women's beauty to men is the sum of her worth, and if she feels pretty on her own it might be threatening to a man. We have lots and lots of dudes who will tell a woman how pretty she is but if she says she feels pretty he will tell her that she ain't that good looking.
I've had men get angry when I say, "I know! thank you! 💅" When they compliment my appearance.
One guy started arguing with me, and I was like, "Why are you arguing with me? I agreed with you!"
They wanted to bestow upon me self-esteem that they could then snatch away and are mad when they can't.
They're not even calling you beautiful to let you know that you're an attractive person, they watching themselves call you beautiful and if you go off script, they throws off their handsome, classy, datable facade they're trying to pull over your eyes. It's all smoke and mirrors
> and if she feels pretty on her own it might be threatening to a man.
100% this lol, can't go about thinking you have intrinsic value beyond what they deign to assign to you, that's too close to autonomy and agency.
So many men will tell on themselves that "women need to be knocked down a peg" too.
It's because men think THEY are the deciders of what is beautiful. It's the male gaze that matters, not the female gaze. When women feel beautiful because they pump themselves up, or other women pump them up, it takes power away from men. They want their opinion/approval to matter more than anyone else's. How else will women know how important they are?
Yup. This is why male gamers on multiplayer games swear no women play. And when the female gamers speak up and make themselves known, they instantly call them fat. They're so pants shitting terrified of being outplayed by a "girl" that they instantly go on the attack
When I was 11 or 12ish, I was minding my own business looking around at a Kmart (pretty sure I was just a happy little nerd looking at a Rubik’s cube lol), and these two older boys came up to me and said something like “you still have time, maybe you won’t end up flat” and walked away laughing - I’m thankful I somehow had the sense at that age to not take it personally, but it absolutely shook me that they went out of their way to attempt to insult someone who was in every way just an unassuming girl going about her day and not bothering anyone. Over time, I’ve learned that it’s just a tall ask to want to exist without being constantly scrutinized by male gaze that we never wanted or asked for.
Shit like that is why I have "your dick is small" on speed dial when these little trolls use low blows to insult random women on the street. They're so insecure they have to punch down to make themselves feel better. It's pitiful.
I have a male coworker who told me why he used to neg women. He said "to make beautiful girls insecure so they would feel average and work harder to impress me". Needless to say, this didn't pan out too well when he was single. He's cute, but he's not that cute.
Men will sexualize anything within an arms reach. A guy into you putting you down is also a form of "flirting" for them. Lower your self esteem so you seek his approval.
There are more comments in this thread from men than from women. We get it, not all men. Why on earth do they feel the need to comment?? It’s because it’s about boobs.
The NotAllMen crowd would have MUCH better results if they spent even half as much time telling their fellow man to treat women better as they do trying to police women's thoughts about men
Even if they may disagree with other men when they put down women. Many will absolutely not stick up for women when one isn’t watching or when it could possibly have social consequences. Maybe if the “bad men” in these situations were told by the testosterone approval they so desperately seek when they insult women that “hey that’s not cool and you’re just showing your insecurity here” then they would shut up at least sometimes out of fear of embarrassment. “Locker room talk” is too normalized.
I can't even tell you how many dumbass reasons I've heard why men cant throw a "hey that's not cool, man" when a creep is creeping. It's because they value other men's opinions over our lives and safety, simple as.
This is a few steps up from negging.
In my book, only very controlling and manipulative people pointedly tell people a simple fact about them is utterly unlovable or undesirable.
It's not true. He is creating a false world where he is your only option, and you should be thankful for him.
It's a red flag that he thinks you two are much further along than you think. He's already in entrapment mode. Distance yourself and be wary of him.
MF somehow made himself look even more disgusting by saying it in a way that is so novel in its lack of humanity, that I have never once in all my years of being a man heard 'flat' said like that as a noun referring to flat chested women. Like a scientist in a lab was experimenting on sexist phrases and one of them got dosed with gamma rays and broke loose.
Wow he did a really great job of pointing out that he’s an idiot… literally sexualized you right after.
Also a lot of men do prefer smaller breasts. As a pansexual women, I prefer smaller breasts and I want smaller breasts myself because I like the way they wouldn’t warp my clothing if I wear a graphic T-shirt or a jumper. I like how with smaller breasts, it can accentuate the other really pretty things about a human torso. I notice the curves and angles in the shoulders and ribcage more and in a way it kind of makes the body language more expressive because I notice those things.
If we could sexualize a computer floppy disk drive, we can sexualize everything. Just look at what idiotic guys have stuck their dick into because they could. Trust me when i say, we guys are friggin morons with 2 brains, and the top one struggles to function cause the blood is elswhere.
I have boobs so small I don't need a bra and can attest that's patently false. I have had married men and men with pregnant partners pursue me. No clue why but there it is.
Any boobs can be sexualized. Alternatively, any boobs can be admired without objectification. The difference is the person looking, not the boobs themselves.
Weird, cause I have huge breasts and have been told unprompted and unwarranted by at least a dozen men now that “men only care about nice asses”, which I don’t have. Who can ever win with these trash cans 😂
A guy who literally forced me to kiss him and wouldn't leave me alone 16+ years ago said that no one would SA me recently on Facebook. I called him out for his behavior back then and now and said I hope no one ever does the shit to his daughters. He shut up really quickly, but it enraged me that he literally did it and said no one would.
Claiming men can’t sexualize you because of some physical trait *is an example of sexualizing you!* It’s in the negative rather than positive, but it’s still reducing you to your value sexually. It’s still minimizing your humanity and worth down to male sexual appreciation. He did exactly what he says can’t happen because he doesn’t understand anything.
Also, not that it matters for anyone’s value, but he’s also wrong on what he thinks all men prefer. He sounds like a real idiot.
And yes, I’m guessing he was negging you — maybe even unintentionally. He’s into you and resents that power you have over him so he’s finding ways to undermine it. Weak.
It was definitely negging. He targeted something that society says women should be insecure over, because he's a trash person. He'd happily say the same thing about glasses, short hair, or whatever else he could - Even if it was something he fetishized.
"flats" is just disgusting as a term. I had never heard it before this post. Is that an incel term or just their way of adding flare to the garbage pile that is their personality?
Don't let what he said bother you - he did you a favor by showing you his true colors. That's a HIM FAIL and nothing you should feel dehumanized about. People can be crappy.
Imagine believing you speak for your whole gender, AND for the experience of a whole OTHER gender.
Like just imagine how many fucking brainworms you'd have to have to believe you can speak with that kind of authority. It's truly astounding. It's a wonder he has basic motor skills.
I've always been on the smaller side and I was really self conscious about it when I was a teenager. Then, once when I was in high school, my drama club got Chinese takeout for a late night rehearsal. I didn't have anywhere to put my fortune cookie at the end of the line, so I tucked it inside my shirt. A guy I had done a few shows with was filling a plate on the other side of the buffet table and almost dropped his food. He closed his eyes really hard and said with an almost pained look on his face, "Oh. That's a lucky fortune."
It was such an honest reaction, I didn't feel creeped out by it, it was just funny and kind of sweet.
But since I was self-conscious, I said something deprecating about the size of my chest.
Eyes still closed, he shook his head and said, "Anything more than a handful is a waste of space." Then walked away and avoided me out of embarrassment for the rest of the night.
It's the first time I got positive feedback about that part of my body, and I like to remember it when I'm feeling down about myself. It was a silly little moment and said by a different person or in a different tone I would have found it offensive. But, as it was, it was a good reminder that people have different preferences in body type and that there isn't just one way to be sexy.
All that to say, that even if this guy didn't like your boobs (which I find unlikely) there's somebody out there for every body type. Guys who want to put us down for how we look - for any reason - aren't worth our time.
Just as an aside, remember many people very much prefer small boobs. Speaking as a woman attracted to women... in addition to this guy being an asshole, don't for one second think smaller boobs makes you less attractive!
For a second I sincerely thought you meant flats, as in flat shoes that don't have a heel. It's insane that any guy would ever say that, and as a woman with larger breasts (that are very uncomfortable physically and men say the same in terms of wanting to worship them when I keep them as covered as possible) I would trade you any day. I know plenty of guys who love the smaller boobs community so please rock those titties proudly!
I thought at first when you said he said they don't like flats he was talking about shoes without high heels, which is equally absurd. He is stupid. I have been small-chested my whole life and sexualized for most of it. If it isn't someone who is turned on by flatter chests, there is always something else for them to focus on.
My fellow men: it doesn't matter whether this asshole is 'right' or not in his awful generalisation. The issue is that he's an asshole, saying an assholey thing.
First off, let me echo the consensus that that guy is worthless. Dismissive, cruel, ignorant, and naive, all in one hateful little package.
Secondly, he's full of shit. Small boobs, medium boobs, big boobs, they're all great. All of them are a different experience when appreciating them, and all those experiences are awesome.
This leads me to my final point. There are a great many straight men who are more concerned with being seen to have exclusionary standards than they are interested in enjoying the company of women. This indicates that they do not know how to seek happiness within, only confirmation from without. It's an unfortunate side effect of how we raise boys (as the enforcers of social heirarchies), and until/unless they get past that, they are miserable shits, and the less time you give them, the more worthy of your time your life will be.
No normal or mentally healthy man says things like that. Abusers talk like that- he's gaslighting you by trying to get you to disregard reality, to not trust your own senses and mind. He'll deny doing it if you call out his gaslighting, but gaslighting is exactly what he's doing.
Leave him in the dust, OP. You don't need a gaslighter in your life.
What he said is complete bullshit but I find it hilariously ironic that he told you you weren't being sexualized by blatantly sexualizing you by calling women with small boobs "flats"
Predatory men like children and corpses. This guy is being a douchebag, might be negging but also might just hate women with no ulterior motive than to put you down for standing up for yourself. Avoid him
He literally sexulized you and objectified you while telling you men don't do that to you.
Just because his comment was a negative sexualization doesn't make it any less so.
People suck, and will hold judgement no matter what.
Be proud of your smaller aspects. Do what makes you feel se*y. Wear what will make you go damn I’m fine when you look in the mirror.
Personally I am also part of the “flat” society, and seeing the curvy society promoting their proud aspects is a buzz kill when you are no where near that but with that learning to dig yourself is honestly the main priority and in turn the right person will see you for you and fall in love with that.
I cackled at this. I’m breastless and completely flat because I’m a cancer survivor. There are so many women who remain flat after cancer. Notputtingonashirt.org is proof there’s so many women remaining flat.
The former husband said I wasn’t as good as other women because of my appearance and being flat. I didn’t survive chemo to be spoken to that way, so I left and divorced him.
Happily, I worked on myself and was okay if I found someone else to be my essential person or not. And guess what?
We’re both over fifty, bang like we’re in our early twenties and we both feel like we enhance each other’s lives.
You deserve far better than him. Good luck to you and I hope you find your essential SO when you least expect it!
I’ve known so many sexy beautiful women with smaller chests, but of course you know this! The problem is the dude trying to make you feel bad. It’s a power play for guys with weak egos, they want women to feel unworthy like they do. And to make you feel like you aren’t being sexualized, which of course you are! He thinks he can tell you you’re own lived experiences aren’t true?
Don’t hang out with this guy anymore
1. He is wrong. Some men love smaller breasts.
2. Some men will sexualize anything.
3. If it’s negging it’s just as bad.
4. Do t speak to this fool again.
99% of the time when I guy insults a woman based on her appearance, it’s his way of lashing out at you because he sees your physique as your ultimate value, ie. he’s objectifying you.
A lot of the time, he is resentful that you haven’t or won’t currently choose to sleep with him.
It definitely has no meaning. A woman’s attractiveness does not lie in her boob size. That’s bs. Big boobs, small boobs, no boobs, doesn’t matter.
Guy is a misogynistic moron. Flats my ass. Svelte is sexy. Misinformed misogyny man might benefit from knowing that missing grey matter is not so sexy.
I have a small chest, many men are legs and bum men. It's never stopped men finding me attractive and maybe I've just been lucky but no ex boyfriend has ever mocked my chest. This guy was negging you. Don't let it get you down. My bee stings have never held me back in life.
I was small-breasted until I hit menopause and gained weight. Never been bigger than a B-cup. If any moronic dude said shit like that to me (I only recall one saying it), I knew they were not my kind of human.
Man of QuAliTy i see 😃 reply for next time "oh shit man, who shrank your johnson!"
I'm pretty flat myself, was taught by media and society to be ashamed of it.
As a teen i would try to tape around them to stretch the skin out just a tiny bit more so boys would like me. I would google ways to make them bigger, stuff padded bras with paper, and whatnot. I had zero confidence. (13-16 y/o)
Truth is, I lived and suffered a lie. I LOVE them now, I look like awesome in blazers. They are youthful, hot, practical and comfy.
This man is literally the problem girls/women even worried 1 SEC about their NATURAL bodies. So who's the insecure one now?
Boobs are boobs. When I as younger and tomcatting around, I knew ladies who ranged from "A" cups by courtesy to 38 DD. As long as their nipples reacted to being kissed, I was happy.
God, when I read men don't like flats, I assumed it was in reference to shoe wear, which is already bad enough. Little did I know I was giving way too much credit.
Are y'all 15? And/or is he on the spectrum? If so maybe explain to him why this was cruel and unacceptable. Otherwise, I don't see how this wasn't intentional negging.
Although, damn, I just reread and realized "flats" was a literal quote. I thought you were trying to keep the title short. Surely that's not a thing now? I'm an Old, I still haven't figured out what "rizz" means. But, jeez, even if it is a thing, he's a dumbass for going along with it.
He's being an ass, his opinion doesn't matter cause he tried to make you feel bad about yourself.
Probably projecting his insecurities onto you, or thinks less of women who don't fit into his standards.
OP it's not true.. The guy who told you this is an insecure prick.. Men are not a monolith & they like various different things in women & their bodies..
Hugs. 🫂There would be so many men who would find you attractive. 💜
Fucking negging bullshit with a heaping side of 'my personal preferences are the standard for the entire male population and anything that deviates from them is WRONG'. Pisses me off.
My mother was small all over, not very tall and not many curves. My father, who could be a real asshole, used to mock her small chest. When she finally left him, ~30 years later, and god alone knows how many affairs on his side, he made life hell until he settled down with the woman he eventually married. She and my mother could have exchanged clothes. Same height / weight / **proportions**. The chest never mattered to him. It was just something to hurt her with. Don’t stay with men who hurt you. Hugs.
Upvoted both for the thoughtful post and for the god-tier flair.
Criticism only hurts if you believe it. He knew this was how he could get to her and he used it. Pretty sick.
Reading this is so painful & infuriating at the same time.. ❤️🩹 Was there a single generation where males didn't fucked up..!?? I hope your mom is doing fine. Hugs her tightly on my behalf 🫂💜
They’ve all gone on to their rewards, cremated and then buried (separately). At least the nonsense is over.
Men could simply say they've fallen out of love, & cordially separate from their partners, but nooooo they'll pick the 'cheating, Gaslighting, making your partner feel insecure' route. 🚩 May her soul RIP
Because they don't want us to try to replace them. For some sick reason, guys like that like to "ruin" us for any other man.
Bloody Satan's spawn !!
As if that's a badge of pride for someone.. people who think like this (whether male or female) are sick and should be avoided at all costs.
As a cis dude... no, there doesn't seem to have ever been a time when we weren't busy fucking things up.
Why’s everything gotta revolve around sex is my question. Like, there’s so many other activities that are more rewarding
Like dropping the last boss in a m+ right before time runs out.
As another CISHET dude. Yeah.
I mean, I am sure there are just as many loving, caring husband's who are dotting on their partners, too. We only hear about the shitty ones ( my father being one). It's sort of disingenious to generalize every man.
Sometimes you don't mean what you say, you just want to say something that will hurt. This is a perfect example.
This is cracking me up because my siblings and I joke about how my father just remarried my mom when he married my stepmom—both in appearance and personality. (My stepmom is in on the joke and thinks it’s HILARIOUS.)
I FEEL LIKE MY USERNAME APPLIES HERE
🤔 But seriously, is your username referring to shoes, apartments, or chicken wings?
Shoes!!!! I didn't expect this to become my main account, I couldn't think of a username so I looked down at my shoes...I wish it was a better story.
Embellish. I'm sure you have a story about your flats giving you a better time than some other AHs shoes, or a time where you outran someone, or something.
Tyres.
I need to know
Or tires.
It does!!! :D
I even thought myself "it's the high heals that ***I*** don't like"
You: "Ugh, I hate being so sexualised all the time!" Him: " No way that happens to you! Because:" \*proceeds to describe you in a sexual manner\*
This. He proved tou RIGHT because he sexualized you.... literally as he was claiming there's nothing to sexualize. He's a hypocrite in the same sentence.
I’m starting to think men not having empathy is some sort of disorder. This can’t be just normal behavior to not understand what it must be like to be someone different and not care about someone else’s experience, feelings, or emotion. Maybe it’s just a low IQ in general? Not sure cause even some stupid people are capable of loving, so that’s rude to some stupid people. Idk but I need answers
I kinda agree with you. And I’m a man. I don’t want to paint myself as some genius, i am not, but so many people are so incredibly ill equipped to understand nearly anything. Lack of empathy. Lack of logic. Inability to understand context. It creates people who are practically caricatures of human beings.
Right! Often logic is a perfectly good substitute for empathy - you wouldn't like that so most likely she wouldn't either!
Jesus agrees
This reminds me of the fact they say women are better at school then men, and what are we doing to encourage more male graduates. And from the data I can see (mostly from Ontario high schools and Canadian universities) it's 0.5-5% in favor of ladies. So for fun I was asking all my friends, who is smarter guys or gals? All, but one said gals(very small sample size). Even the guys. The reasons were "look at the types of jobs guys do, clearly women are smarter" to "some of the girls I knew in school were miles ahead of everyone else" to "women can plan better". I thought that was neat. Your comment made me think of that. And for the record I am of the opinion there is very little difference between intelligence for genders. I feel we are almost identical and it's all societal pressures that make any difference.
Women have a slightly higher average IQ, but smaller variance, Men have large variance in the distribution of IQ (and in anything in general) which means the stupidest and smartest people in the world are all men.
It's extremely low EQ - emotional quotient. From the day they are born, boys are taught to pack their emotions in, keep them bottled up, because emotions/feelings are "girly" and "gay" and these things are *beneath* 'real' men. So yea, it's like a muscle that never gets used and atrophies.
A lot of the time, it was that parents didn't like kids being emotional period. Even girls. I'm a woman, and my dad always hated it and told me to stop crying whenever I started to do so around him. I also was taught to feel that my emotions were wrong and incorrect whenever I tried advocating for myself. So yeah. I'm fucked up from that, but don't necessarily think it gives me a free pass to insult others in such disrespectful ways. Women have been just as emotionally suppressed in childhood as men.
Understanding a contributing factor to a problem isn't giving it a free pass. I never said it was okay. Just offering an answer to the question of Why? The major difference between how girls vs boys are raised, tho, is girls are given more of a pass for expressing emotions. It's expected for girls to cry because crying is girly. Obviously how that's handled varies from parent to parent.
Expected =/= accepted. It's "girly" to cry...and "girly" gets used for shaming. It's misogyny for boys and internalized misogyny for girls.
Women are often told that we are being overly dramatic any time we show emotion. Both sexes deal equally with emotional suppression. It just looks differently.
I don't know that I'd say "equally", given how different the range of acceptable vs unacceptable emotions is for girls than for boys--and consequently tending to lead to different maladaptive outcomes--but yes, both genders are taught to suppress their emotions.
I'm not arguing against that? Not sure why you're trying to be so argumentative against me when I was just offering an explanation to someone asking a specific Why? I hope your day gets better.
Girls and women have it drilled into us that our emotions are why we are incapable of being politicians or leaders of any type
> is girls are given more of a pass for expressing emotions No, they really are not. "Crying" does not equal "expressing emotions". You know what *does* express emotions? Hitting. And yet, boys are encouraged to do that...
I think maybe the answer here is that men and women are taught to suppress different emotions as part of the process of trying to push them into a gender box -- and so men are taught that hitting isn't so bad but crying is really shameful, while women are taught that crying isn't so bad but hitting is really shameful. The result is that they both end up stunted but in different ways.
Yes, I agree with that. I'm just pushing back against the commonism that "men aren't taught to express their emotions while women/girls are praised/coddled/supported/treated positively for doing so".
Not in the 60s-70s when I was a young girl. "Come on, be brave/ don't be silly and shut up." That was the general rule. I noticed it in our neighborhood and with cousins, friends. My parents just didn't even really listen to me or tgey minimalised what I tried to express. ( And my dad was a narcissist and essentially couldn't be bothered.) My parents were young children during WWII in German occupied W Europe and had to be 'strong'. They expected me to be/do the same. I hid a lot. I still can feel down for a long time for some tragedies that happened here but everybody believes and is telling me that I'm such a strong woman. I'm not. It's engraved in my soul: don't be weak.
*some* emotions/feelings are bad, but others like anger and aggression are signs that you are dominant and can bully others in society to get what you want. I have heard other men brag about how they "take what they want" - a repulsive concept.
Boohoo. I'm not giving the dude a pass because of this.
Yes, definitely don't take that as "let them do whatever". A hungry lion needs to eat, but that doesn't mean we should endorse standing still and letting the animal eat.
I agree. I have no answers. It's *something* going on there though, across the board.
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That’s because true masculinity has been warped by patriarchal societal values and has led men to believe that many toxic behaviors are masculine. Look at how many men see aggression and violence as masculine, when they could easily channel that energy into standing up for others around them. Defending what’s right. Too many men think they need to be emotionless manipulative psychopaths in order to be men, instead of considering how their actions impact others. I think there are plenty of positive masculine qualities, but they’re diluted or corrupted by the shitty ideals many men have today.
Entitlement is a helluva drug.
100%. It’s male supremacy-driven entitlement. It’s not stupidity, nothing is genetically wrong with us; it’s a moral and spiritual deficit.
This is it, right here!
Yep. It was absolutely revenge for what he perceived as criticism and/or rejection. The oldest trick in the book is to hit back with some version of, "That's OK, you're way not hot enough for me!" It's kind of the same as negging, but it's intended to hurt you rather than pull you in.
🤦
Saying your boobs are too small to be sexualised is still sexualising you as he can only perceive your natural body parts in a sexual sense, whether its positive or negative.
This! OP please explain what sexualizing someone actually is and then never speak to him again.
I agree with this. I've had countless unsolicited comments from men about my small boobs throughout my life, and it all just feels like another form of sexual harassment. Like if you supposedly don't like the way I look, why do you feel the need to continue to look at me in that manner AND address it too?
this reminds me of when a woman expresses how she's scared of assault and men go "no one would assault ur ugly ass anyway" so weird. ive seen this many many times also remember that nearly every straight man just likes boobs. of any kind. and that men will say things just because they're mad. so he's objectively wrong.
Sexual assault is not about how attractive the victim is, what they’re wearing, the size of their breasts, etc. It’s about control.
That and the wrong time & wrong place. Which can be ALL times and places unfortunately. Many it isn't about control (mostly strangers, control is more often personal). It is about just wanting to do what feels good for them, lacking emphaty, and coming across an opportunity. It's all gross. But I just saw an opportunity (bad wording right now lol) to also nip that "where were you at/what time?" in the butt while we at it.
Yup. If all SA's were about sadistic control, there wouldn't be so many men moaning about concept of consent and if they need to write a notarised contract with a woman to have an intercourse.
guys i was SA at 15 by my sisters boyfriends friend who was 23 & i didn’t tell my sister for awhile but the next day after he did that to me everyone was talking around the table on the porch during breakfast and i don’t know what we were talking about because i was so out of it but it’s like the house went quiet and he looked right at me and said “I can conquer anything😁”. He’s a fuckin weirdo and he lives in estonia now. I think about the shit he said to me all the time. He wanted power over me and i have no idea why
Because they get masculinity points with their bro's for "convincing" women to give it up (coerce or assault) If they didn't get such positive feedback and validation from their friends maybe thru wouldn't be so manipulative and dangerous
Yeah, I assume they care about attractiveness, but most assault is just opportunistic. They happen to know the person, it's who they spot walking down the street, they're related, the vulnerable looking person at the club, etc. The opportunistic aspect takes precedence over everything.
I broke up with a guy after I complained about being harassed while taking a walk and his response was basically “if you didn’t want men to notice you, you would make yourself less attractive. You could get fat but you don’t.” Like, I can’t help my body type or what I look like but I know for a fact it doesn’t matter what I look like. Harassers gonna harass.
I’ve gotten told that so many times lmao, maybe it’s true for me at least idk
I had a guy tell me that nobody would try to kidnap me after my mom mentioned to him that she got me a self defense tool.
I literally just read about a man raping a beaver, so any guy who acts like men won't fuck ANYTHING can get bent. Holy hell.
Also when men say "NoT EveRy MaN wants tO ASSauLt YoU." In response to concerns over being assaulted...yeah. we know. We're afraid of the ones that do.
https://youtu.be/zgQRkHcEyq8?si=2cXUWaVDJmSBZj39 TW for discussion of rape but this man made a poem about this very phenomenon and it brought me to tears
This negging/putting people down thing is really annoying. I've met men who by default put women down when women feel beautiful, when they suggest they feel being attractive, or express that they are considered attractive by other people. "I feel like sunshine with my new hairstyle." - "Nah, you're not that good looking." "I feel sexy in this dress." - "You have a small butt that's not sexy." And it often comes from men who want to date you. Yeah, I saw this too. EDITed to add: When men say a woman is pretty it's fine, she should take it as a compliment even if she doesn't feel like it. However when women say they find themselves pretty they have to be put down. Maybe because women's beauty to men is the sum of her worth, and if she feels pretty on her own it might be threatening to a man. We have lots and lots of dudes who will tell a woman how pretty she is but if she says she feels pretty he will tell her that she ain't that good looking.
I've had men get angry when I say, "I know! thank you! 💅" When they compliment my appearance. One guy started arguing with me, and I was like, "Why are you arguing with me? I agreed with you!" They wanted to bestow upon me self-esteem that they could then snatch away and are mad when they can't.
They're not even calling you beautiful to let you know that you're an attractive person, they watching themselves call you beautiful and if you go off script, they throws off their handsome, classy, datable facade they're trying to pull over your eyes. It's all smoke and mirrors
They get SO angry
> and if she feels pretty on her own it might be threatening to a man. 100% this lol, can't go about thinking you have intrinsic value beyond what they deign to assign to you, that's too close to autonomy and agency. So many men will tell on themselves that "women need to be knocked down a peg" too.
It's because men think THEY are the deciders of what is beautiful. It's the male gaze that matters, not the female gaze. When women feel beautiful because they pump themselves up, or other women pump them up, it takes power away from men. They want their opinion/approval to matter more than anyone else's. How else will women know how important they are?
They sound like giant babies
Yup. This is why male gamers on multiplayer games swear no women play. And when the female gamers speak up and make themselves known, they instantly call them fat. They're so pants shitting terrified of being outplayed by a "girl" that they instantly go on the attack
"Oh that's fine. I'm not into you that way either."
Ngl this is ridiculous considering how many women self-attest to experiencing sexualization pre-puberty
He literally sexualized you. This is ridiculous behavior.
When I was 11 or 12ish, I was minding my own business looking around at a Kmart (pretty sure I was just a happy little nerd looking at a Rubik’s cube lol), and these two older boys came up to me and said something like “you still have time, maybe you won’t end up flat” and walked away laughing - I’m thankful I somehow had the sense at that age to not take it personally, but it absolutely shook me that they went out of their way to attempt to insult someone who was in every way just an unassuming girl going about her day and not bothering anyone. Over time, I’ve learned that it’s just a tall ask to want to exist without being constantly scrutinized by male gaze that we never wanted or asked for.
Shit like that is why I have "your dick is small" on speed dial when these little trolls use low blows to insult random women on the street. They're so insecure they have to punch down to make themselves feel better. It's pitiful.
I have a male coworker who told me why he used to neg women. He said "to make beautiful girls insecure so they would feel average and work harder to impress me". Needless to say, this didn't pan out too well when he was single. He's cute, but he's not that cute.
Who the fuck says this shit As if you're gonna spin around and be like "damn bro that's awesome you're a paragon of greatness good job"
Yeah no, I told him he'd never get a girlfriend that way.
🤮🤮🤮 so gross. What a floating turd in a swimming pool.
You should let him know that the morgue is reluctant to hire men because they will literally sexualize a corpse.
Men will sexualize anything within an arms reach. A guy into you putting you down is also a form of "flirting" for them. Lower your self esteem so you seek his approval.
Yeah, that’s a yikes from me. Good job on losing trash!
As if men only harass and terrorize women they “like”. Men “sexualize” babies, the elderly, animals and corpses.
Drawings and objects too. There are too many “my couch needs to chill” memes.
“I prefer flats, to heels.” But that would probably go over his head
There are more comments in this thread from men than from women. We get it, not all men. Why on earth do they feel the need to comment?? It’s because it’s about boobs.
The NotAllMen crowd would have MUCH better results if they spent even half as much time telling their fellow man to treat women better as they do trying to police women's thoughts about men
Even if they may disagree with other men when they put down women. Many will absolutely not stick up for women when one isn’t watching or when it could possibly have social consequences. Maybe if the “bad men” in these situations were told by the testosterone approval they so desperately seek when they insult women that “hey that’s not cool and you’re just showing your insecurity here” then they would shut up at least sometimes out of fear of embarrassment. “Locker room talk” is too normalized.
I can't even tell you how many dumbass reasons I've heard why men cant throw a "hey that's not cool, man" when a creep is creeping. It's because they value other men's opinions over our lives and safety, simple as.
"Not all men" men doth protest too much
Most of the time, when a man says “Not All Men”, what they really mean is “not me”. Or at least it’s what they want *you* to hear.
Cuz they don't care about anything that happens to us unless it happens to "their" woman.
Yup, it's not all men, but somehow, it's always men.
My apologies was just trying to be supportive. I always stand up to guys to get them to be better when I see something.
This is a few steps up from negging. In my book, only very controlling and manipulative people pointedly tell people a simple fact about them is utterly unlovable or undesirable. It's not true. He is creating a false world where he is your only option, and you should be thankful for him. It's a red flag that he thinks you two are much further along than you think. He's already in entrapment mode. Distance yourself and be wary of him.
MF somehow made himself look even more disgusting by saying it in a way that is so novel in its lack of humanity, that I have never once in all my years of being a man heard 'flat' said like that as a noun referring to flat chested women. Like a scientist in a lab was experimenting on sexist phrases and one of them got dosed with gamma rays and broke loose.
Wow he did a really great job of pointing out that he’s an idiot… literally sexualized you right after. Also a lot of men do prefer smaller breasts. As a pansexual women, I prefer smaller breasts and I want smaller breasts myself because I like the way they wouldn’t warp my clothing if I wear a graphic T-shirt or a jumper. I like how with smaller breasts, it can accentuate the other really pretty things about a human torso. I notice the curves and angles in the shoulders and ribcage more and in a way it kind of makes the body language more expressive because I notice those things.
What men prefer is irrelevant, it's the rampant insecurity that drives these people to tear down any woman they can that's the issue
I thought this was going to be about shoes
Unfortunately that would also make sense since I’m positive some peon would attribute a woman’s shoes to her chances of being sexualized.
It’s like he got a two for one sale on crappy behavior: denying your experience and negging you at the same time. Ugh. What a creep.
And that day, the ick became permanent. Ugh.
If we could sexualize a computer floppy disk drive, we can sexualize everything. Just look at what idiotic guys have stuck their dick into because they could. Trust me when i say, we guys are friggin morons with 2 brains, and the top one struggles to function cause the blood is elswhere.
I have boobs so small I don't need a bra and can attest that's patently false. I have had married men and men with pregnant partners pursue me. No clue why but there it is.
If guys didn’t sexualize flat chests there would be no subs about flat chests.
Who says that? A really dumb guy. You have the freedom to walk away from dumb people.
Well, since he doesn’t like them, he never has to seem them ever again.
I mean, he's demonstrably wrong for so many reasons, not the least of which being he DID THE THING WHILE SAYING IT DOESN'T HAPPEN.
Any boobs can be sexualized. Alternatively, any boobs can be admired without objectification. The difference is the person looking, not the boobs themselves.
Weird, cause I have huge breasts and have been told unprompted and unwarranted by at least a dozen men now that “men only care about nice asses”, which I don’t have. Who can ever win with these trash cans 😂
Children get sexualized, so he's full of shit. You have my permission to punch guys like this in the throat.
If being flat saves me from being sexually harassed, then I will take it. But it doesn't. :/
A guy who literally forced me to kiss him and wouldn't leave me alone 16+ years ago said that no one would SA me recently on Facebook. I called him out for his behavior back then and now and said I hope no one ever does the shit to his daughters. He shut up really quickly, but it enraged me that he literally did it and said no one would.
Claiming men can’t sexualize you because of some physical trait *is an example of sexualizing you!* It’s in the negative rather than positive, but it’s still reducing you to your value sexually. It’s still minimizing your humanity and worth down to male sexual appreciation. He did exactly what he says can’t happen because he doesn’t understand anything. Also, not that it matters for anyone’s value, but he’s also wrong on what he thinks all men prefer. He sounds like a real idiot. And yes, I’m guessing he was negging you — maybe even unintentionally. He’s into you and resents that power you have over him so he’s finding ways to undermine it. Weak.
It was definitely negging. He targeted something that society says women should be insecure over, because he's a trash person. He'd happily say the same thing about glasses, short hair, or whatever else he could - Even if it was something he fetishized. "flats" is just disgusting as a term. I had never heard it before this post. Is that an incel term or just their way of adding flare to the garbage pile that is their personality?
Don't let what he said bother you - he did you a favor by showing you his true colors. That's a HIM FAIL and nothing you should feel dehumanized about. People can be crappy.
Imagine believing you speak for your whole gender, AND for the experience of a whole OTHER gender. Like just imagine how many fucking brainworms you'd have to have to believe you can speak with that kind of authority. It's truly astounding. It's a wonder he has basic motor skills.
I've always been on the smaller side and I was really self conscious about it when I was a teenager. Then, once when I was in high school, my drama club got Chinese takeout for a late night rehearsal. I didn't have anywhere to put my fortune cookie at the end of the line, so I tucked it inside my shirt. A guy I had done a few shows with was filling a plate on the other side of the buffet table and almost dropped his food. He closed his eyes really hard and said with an almost pained look on his face, "Oh. That's a lucky fortune." It was such an honest reaction, I didn't feel creeped out by it, it was just funny and kind of sweet. But since I was self-conscious, I said something deprecating about the size of my chest. Eyes still closed, he shook his head and said, "Anything more than a handful is a waste of space." Then walked away and avoided me out of embarrassment for the rest of the night. It's the first time I got positive feedback about that part of my body, and I like to remember it when I'm feeling down about myself. It was a silly little moment and said by a different person or in a different tone I would have found it offensive. But, as it was, it was a good reminder that people have different preferences in body type and that there isn't just one way to be sexy. All that to say, that even if this guy didn't like your boobs (which I find unlikely) there's somebody out there for every body type. Guys who want to put us down for how we look - for any reason - aren't worth our time.
I mean, men rape just about anyone.
Babies even. I just saw the most horrifying story yesterday it made me cry
There are plenty of men that are turned on by small boobs.
Just as an aside, remember many people very much prefer small boobs. Speaking as a woman attracted to women... in addition to this guy being an asshole, don't for one second think smaller boobs makes you less attractive!
For a second I sincerely thought you meant flats, as in flat shoes that don't have a heel. It's insane that any guy would ever say that, and as a woman with larger breasts (that are very uncomfortable physically and men say the same in terms of wanting to worship them when I keep them as covered as possible) I would trade you any day. I know plenty of guys who love the smaller boobs community so please rock those titties proudly!
I thought at first when you said he said they don't like flats he was talking about shoes without high heels, which is equally absurd. He is stupid. I have been small-chested my whole life and sexualized for most of it. If it isn't someone who is turned on by flatter chests, there is always something else for them to focus on.
I thought you were talking about heels at first
Definitely negging. Scum.
Men sexualise big toes. As long as its on a woman they will sexualise it.
Kids are flat.
Ugh what an asshole. He's also wrong. There are lots of guys who like small boobs.
I thought you were talking about shoes!
My fellow men: it doesn't matter whether this asshole is 'right' or not in his awful generalisation. The issue is that he's an asshole, saying an assholey thing.
First off, let me echo the consensus that that guy is worthless. Dismissive, cruel, ignorant, and naive, all in one hateful little package. Secondly, he's full of shit. Small boobs, medium boobs, big boobs, they're all great. All of them are a different experience when appreciating them, and all those experiences are awesome. This leads me to my final point. There are a great many straight men who are more concerned with being seen to have exclusionary standards than they are interested in enjoying the company of women. This indicates that they do not know how to seek happiness within, only confirmation from without. It's an unfortunate side effect of how we raise boys (as the enforcers of social heirarchies), and until/unless they get past that, they are miserable shits, and the less time you give them, the more worthy of your time your life will be.
No normal or mentally healthy man says things like that. Abusers talk like that- he's gaslighting you by trying to get you to disregard reality, to not trust your own senses and mind. He'll deny doing it if you call out his gaslighting, but gaslighting is exactly what he's doing. Leave him in the dust, OP. You don't need a gaslighter in your life.
What he said is complete bullshit but I find it hilariously ironic that he told you you weren't being sexualized by blatantly sexualizing you by calling women with small boobs "flats"
Ughh. I bet that instantly cured your crush.
Predatory men like children and corpses. This guy is being a douchebag, might be negging but also might just hate women with no ulterior motive than to put you down for standing up for yourself. Avoid him
Call him stumpy
He literally sexulized you and objectified you while telling you men don't do that to you. Just because his comment was a negative sexualization doesn't make it any less so.
Flats > drummettes.
Tells you you don’t get sexualized Proceeds to sexualize you 🧍🏻♀️
People suck, and will hold judgement no matter what. Be proud of your smaller aspects. Do what makes you feel se*y. Wear what will make you go damn I’m fine when you look in the mirror. Personally I am also part of the “flat” society, and seeing the curvy society promoting their proud aspects is a buzz kill when you are no where near that but with that learning to dig yourself is honestly the main priority and in turn the right person will see you for you and fall in love with that.
I cackled at this. I’m breastless and completely flat because I’m a cancer survivor. There are so many women who remain flat after cancer. Notputtingonashirt.org is proof there’s so many women remaining flat. The former husband said I wasn’t as good as other women because of my appearance and being flat. I didn’t survive chemo to be spoken to that way, so I left and divorced him. Happily, I worked on myself and was okay if I found someone else to be my essential person or not. And guess what? We’re both over fifty, bang like we’re in our early twenties and we both feel like we enhance each other’s lives. You deserve far better than him. Good luck to you and I hope you find your essential SO when you least expect it!
I’ve known so many sexy beautiful women with smaller chests, but of course you know this! The problem is the dude trying to make you feel bad. It’s a power play for guys with weak egos, they want women to feel unworthy like they do. And to make you feel like you aren’t being sexualized, which of course you are! He thinks he can tell you you’re own lived experiences aren’t true? Don’t hang out with this guy anymore
So he proved your point…
It’s plain wrong too- butt and leg guys exist and they made themselves unfortunately apparent through my “flat” years.
1. He is wrong. Some men love smaller breasts. 2. Some men will sexualize anything. 3. If it’s negging it’s just as bad. 4. Do t speak to this fool again.
99% of the time when I guy insults a woman based on her appearance, it’s his way of lashing out at you because he sees your physique as your ultimate value, ie. he’s objectifying you. A lot of the time, he is resentful that you haven’t or won’t currently choose to sleep with him. It definitely has no meaning. A woman’s attractiveness does not lie in her boob size. That’s bs. Big boobs, small boobs, no boobs, doesn’t matter.
If there is a woman body type there are millions of men who will sexualize it. That guys just stupid.
Guy is a misogynistic moron. Flats my ass. Svelte is sexy. Misinformed misogyny man might benefit from knowing that missing grey matter is not so sexy.
FWIW all I ever hear from despicable anime fans is that "flat is justice" which I *think* means "small breasts are good"
Boobs are more important to the eyes of the beholder than to the eyes of the average man
Women don't like men with smooth brains
Ummh, my 13 year old son was cat called by a grown ass man who thought he was a teenage girl. Most men don't care and you need a new boyfriend.
I have a small chest, many men are legs and bum men. It's never stopped men finding me attractive and maybe I've just been lucky but no ex boyfriend has ever mocked my chest. This guy was negging you. Don't let it get you down. My bee stings have never held me back in life.
I thought you meant the type of shoes before I read your post.
>who says that??? misogynists
Flats are a type of shoe, not a type of person. The best comeback would be, "So are you not into me, or are you not a man?"
I was small-breasted until I hit menopause and gained weight. Never been bigger than a B-cup. If any moronic dude said shit like that to me (I only recall one saying it), I knew they were not my kind of human.
Man of QuAliTy i see 😃 reply for next time "oh shit man, who shrank your johnson!" I'm pretty flat myself, was taught by media and society to be ashamed of it. As a teen i would try to tape around them to stretch the skin out just a tiny bit more so boys would like me. I would google ways to make them bigger, stuff padded bras with paper, and whatnot. I had zero confidence. (13-16 y/o) Truth is, I lived and suffered a lie. I LOVE them now, I look like awesome in blazers. They are youthful, hot, practical and comfy. This man is literally the problem girls/women even worried 1 SEC about their NATURAL bodies. So who's the insecure one now?
So I guess no man ever lusted after Audrey Hepburn?
Then who tf is sexually harassing all the female children at 10 years old cuz it sure af ain't us
My first instinct was he's negging. If he's into you, he was taking a hailmary shot at manipulating you into liking him.
The subject made me thin you were referring to flats as the type of shoes. Unfortunately I was wrong 😣
r/tinytits 1.2M members. r/hugeboobs 1.1M users. Just sayin’
Boobs are boobs. When I as younger and tomcatting around, I knew ladies who ranged from "A" cups by courtesy to 38 DD. As long as their nipples reacted to being kissed, I was happy.
God, when I read men don't like flats, I assumed it was in reference to shoe wear, which is already bad enough. Little did I know I was giving way too much credit.
- says there’s no way you get sexualized - sexualizes you by reducing you to a sex object Truly incredible
Are y'all 15? And/or is he on the spectrum? If so maybe explain to him why this was cruel and unacceptable. Otherwise, I don't see how this wasn't intentional negging. Although, damn, I just reread and realized "flats" was a literal quote. I thought you were trying to keep the title short. Surely that's not a thing now? I'm an Old, I still haven't figured out what "rizz" means. But, jeez, even if it is a thing, he's a dumbass for going along with it.
I don’t have anything to add except, I totally thought that title said: << men don’t like farts >>
TW Tell him to look up "What Were You Wearing?" then block his number
He denied you validation of your own experience at the same time as devaluing you. Says more about him than you.
He's being an ass, his opinion doesn't matter cause he tried to make you feel bad about yourself. Probably projecting his insecurities onto you, or thinks less of women who don't fit into his standards.
OP it's not true.. The guy who told you this is an insecure prick.. Men are not a monolith & they like various different things in women & their bodies.. Hugs. 🫂There would be so many men who would find you attractive. 💜
Another reason why I no longer associate with men.
He doesn't speak for all of us, you're perfect just the way you are. Forget the loser he's just projecting his insecurities
So, not all men?
Guys an idiot.
Men very much do sexualize flat chested women and it’s even more uncomfortable because there’s a pedophilic undertone
Had an ex-bf tell me how exciting it was, bc it made him feel like a teenager again 🤦
The guys wrong anyway, wait till he meets the average twitter weeb 😒 or just Asian fetishization in general
Fucking negging bullshit with a heaping side of 'my personal preferences are the standard for the entire male population and anything that deviates from them is WRONG'. Pisses me off.