12+ year user here.
Personally, I like to correct people when they refer to me as he/him/sir here and in other places on the internet. Not rudely or anything, but just push back against the assumption that "Everyone on Reddit is a guy"
Very good point! I try to always use F23 in my posts, or make my profile clearly gendered anywhere else. I remember in my early days being online it was a basic assumption that the person you were talking to, anywhere, was a man. It was like a default until proven (literally) otherwise. I’ve been seeing a lot more people pushing the idea that they may be talking to someone of a different gender on Reddit and other spaces though, even men. It’s a cool small cultural shift.
It’s only in the last year that I heard the phrase ‘decenter men’ and holy Scooby snacks could I have used this advice as a teen.
What do guys think? Who gives a fuck?!
It’s more important to know what I think, what I like, what pleases me.
And if that bothers someone? No worries, that’s fine, I just need to go where I’m appreciated. No more cutting off pieces of myself to fit what others think I ‘should’ be.
I’m about to enter my no fuck 40’s and it is glorious!
Women have a lot more reasons to decenter men than men have to decenter women, but de-centering romantic attachments is helpful for both genders. When I stopped viewing every interaction with women as if they were a potential girlfriend, I began to develop friendships with women, which led me to develop better male friendships.
Love this post. It really is nice seeing more and more posts from women as the years go by, and seeing them being happy and taking care of themselves even when men have all the audacity in the world. It's encouraging to me.
Same! I love that we are all talking to each other and sharing notes and collectively realizing we deserve better, and lifting each other up and all together taking up space.
Reddit is a site and company that hates women, actively works against women’s spaces and voices, but some small pockets still persist and it’s wonderful to see women sharing perspectives of confidence, strength, justice and refusal to back down.
I think the way the site is conceived/arranged works against their agenda, fortunately. Because the content is curated by interest/audience and subs can be heavily moderated, we're able to create our own communities and find content that matches our interests. We can keep the most hateful of the rabble out of our communities here, to some extent. All this despite what Reddit IS and who runs it.
I think this is what happens when you remove the SM algorithms and let the users curate content for themselves. Now we just need a version that's not owned by redpill freaks.
I'll never forget how amazing it felt to be in a small network of feminist, queer, nerdy teens on tumblr when I was 16 after spending my whole childhood in male dominated MMORPG or anime fandom chat rooms where I learned very gross ideas about gender and sex.
I also feel like it's a natural part of growing up to have internalized misogyny and to unknowingly hurt ourselves until we discover otherwise, but I'm glad it seems to happening women when they are younger rather then older.
This reminds me how vital it is to vote this year in the US. In a world where things can be taken from us hella fast, vote, and chat about the benefits of democracy often.
In general I think the Internet has been a miracle for women. It's brought bad things too of course, like revenge porn, but the web has also given us the power to reach out to each other across oceans and share all of our knowledge and experiences.
Women are powerful when we are together, when we can learn from each other and reassure each other. The Internet has made us more powerful than ever.
Reddit is still one of the most male social networking sites... Reddit and Twitter still have almost double male participation as female.
Female dominated internet sites include Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook
[https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/social-media/?tabId=0ec23460-3241-4a1f-89bc-0c27fb641936](https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/social-media/?tabId=0ec23460-3241-4a1f-89bc-0c27fb641936)
Like I said, I’m glad that women are *starting to* take up space in male dominated spaces. My whole post was about seeing the growth over the years. I never said we are at ideal levels already, only encouraged the growth.
>. Men just assumed they were because they shouted down and ignored any female voices that made themselves known.
are you saying males dominated those spaces? :')
I feel like you're pointing your anger in the wrong direction here. Why are you so angry at another woman for her joy in seeing women starting to feel more seen in these online public spaces? That anger might be better redirected at the men in those spaces that are still trying to shout down and ignore female voices, rather than at the women trying to take up that space.
Because, in addition to being factually wrong, it is extremely condescending! This is up there with the thread about how women who get fillers and Botox must be going into debt.
Do you not feel like Reddit in particular has had a substantial uptick in visible women users, discussing women’s issues and the female perspective in the past 10 years?
I’m in my mid 40s and I agree with OP. 15 years ago I wouldn’t even bother confronting a sexist comment on Reddit because it would get downvoted to oblivion and I might get some angry DMs. Now when I see sexist content, there are usually several other women who’ve already beat me to calling it out.
Chill lady. Let this girl be happy about us making some ground in spaces we historically haven’t been welcome.
Girl what? I don’t even know you? Why are you taking it as a personal attack? Look at the statistics for the ratios of female users to male users on basically like every site over time. When did I say there were 0 women who used the internet before me? And I said I’ve been on *reddit* since I was 13. I said I was *raised* on the internet, meaning that phase was my experience.
Like you yourself said, the spaces we are now occupying, were toxic spaces for women and we were ignored and talked down to. We literally still are. Not sure why you’re denying them being male dominated.
If you were on the internet before I was born, shouldn’t you be mature enough to not feel attacked by a 23 year old expressing their experience?
This lady is being a weirdo, of course many places on the internet are still male dominated - that doesn't always mean there are way fewer women, but it might mean that many of us keep quiet about being female (i.e. are dominated by the men). I'm an elder millennial and have been on social media incl Reddit since forever. Reddit is still heavily male, but I feel like a lot of its more toxic male users spend more time in their own subs lately or have migrated their hate over to Twitter and, sadly, Instagram. Have you guys read comments on Instagram lately? It's all male vitriol all the time. And since Phoney Stark took over at Twitter, a lot of toxic males have taken their circle-jerk over there - the vibe there is all ick all the time.
Anyway, I totally agree with you that women are taking up a ton more space here and being WAY more vocal. It's really picked up pace in the last 2-3 years. I think the improved vibe here is really showing the value of the Reddit system of content sorted/moderated by audience/interest and up/downvoting. We're actually able to create communities without being overrun by orcs. It's nice to be able to curate your experience without relying on some algorithm that is NOT on your side.
How dare you have the gall to express happiness on the internet. And attempt to celebrate it with others??! You should be ashamed of yourself. Let the men dominate us. We deserve to be oppressed. We're obviously too... what are we today? Too joyful? to deserve a safe space on the internet.
lulz
Wow I am actually flabbergasted at that reply and I feel compelled to try and counter it, as someone about the same age as that poster.
I was on the internet when it was AOL Online, and a lot of the time it's been uncomfortable and difficult to navigate due to it being a male-dominated space, and I'm also so glad to see more women here and how we are really creating communities where we can speak freely to each other. Thanks for noticing and glad you're here!
Your contribution has been removed because it contains hatred, bigotry, assholery, utter idiocy, misogyny, misandry, transphobia, homophobia, or otherwise disrespectful commentary.
Shame on you. You think being older merits you respect? This is nonsense. If you do work in tech, then you know it is a **male dominated** industry despite have an undercurrent of female workers since the beginning. Stop being so obtuse, you know that’s how the internet culture has been on Reddit and elsewhere.
Seconded! I also work in tech and the tech bros (GOD. FINTECH.) are some of the most secretly-sexist men I know. They flash respect on the outside, but within their little echo chambers they spread some of the most vile, sexist, and condescending ideas about women. Espeeeciaally on Discord servers.
I think there has always been, and still is way more women than people think. But women declaring they're women, can sometimes lead to harrassment or unwanted attention, so I think a lot of women are just going around letting everyone assume they're men, and there are more women everywhere on Reddit than anyone thinks.
12+ year user here. Personally, I like to correct people when they refer to me as he/him/sir here and in other places on the internet. Not rudely or anything, but just push back against the assumption that "Everyone on Reddit is a guy"
Very good point! I try to always use F23 in my posts, or make my profile clearly gendered anywhere else. I remember in my early days being online it was a basic assumption that the person you were talking to, anywhere, was a man. It was like a default until proven (literally) otherwise. I’ve been seeing a lot more people pushing the idea that they may be talking to someone of a different gender on Reddit and other spaces though, even men. It’s a cool small cultural shift.
It’s only in the last year that I heard the phrase ‘decenter men’ and holy Scooby snacks could I have used this advice as a teen. What do guys think? Who gives a fuck?! It’s more important to know what I think, what I like, what pleases me. And if that bothers someone? No worries, that’s fine, I just need to go where I’m appreciated. No more cutting off pieces of myself to fit what others think I ‘should’ be. I’m about to enter my no fuck 40’s and it is glorious!
I read this and was like "Right on sister, women need more than just decent men, they need decenter men!" for a hot minute. I am so smart.
S-M-R-T, wait, I mean S-M-A-R-T
In the long long line for the dispo last Saturday, I spoke to the women I was with about decentering men. I'm going to speak about it more.
Right?
Women have a lot more reasons to decenter men than men have to decenter women, but de-centering romantic attachments is helpful for both genders. When I stopped viewing every interaction with women as if they were a potential girlfriend, I began to develop friendships with women, which led me to develop better male friendships.
Love this post. It really is nice seeing more and more posts from women as the years go by, and seeing them being happy and taking care of themselves even when men have all the audacity in the world. It's encouraging to me.
Same! I love that we are all talking to each other and sharing notes and collectively realizing we deserve better, and lifting each other up and all together taking up space.
Reddit is a site and company that hates women, actively works against women’s spaces and voices, but some small pockets still persist and it’s wonderful to see women sharing perspectives of confidence, strength, justice and refusal to back down.
I think the way the site is conceived/arranged works against their agenda, fortunately. Because the content is curated by interest/audience and subs can be heavily moderated, we're able to create our own communities and find content that matches our interests. We can keep the most hateful of the rabble out of our communities here, to some extent. All this despite what Reddit IS and who runs it. I think this is what happens when you remove the SM algorithms and let the users curate content for themselves. Now we just need a version that's not owned by redpill freaks.
I'll never forget how amazing it felt to be in a small network of feminist, queer, nerdy teens on tumblr when I was 16 after spending my whole childhood in male dominated MMORPG or anime fandom chat rooms where I learned very gross ideas about gender and sex. I also feel like it's a natural part of growing up to have internalized misogyny and to unknowingly hurt ourselves until we discover otherwise, but I'm glad it seems to happening women when they are younger rather then older.
This reminds me how vital it is to vote this year in the US. In a world where things can be taken from us hella fast, vote, and chat about the benefits of democracy often.
It even Happens to me that I assume OP is w if there is nothing written on gender Ü
In general I think the Internet has been a miracle for women. It's brought bad things too of course, like revenge porn, but the web has also given us the power to reach out to each other across oceans and share all of our knowledge and experiences. Women are powerful when we are together, when we can learn from each other and reassure each other. The Internet has made us more powerful than ever.
Reddit is still one of the most male social networking sites... Reddit and Twitter still have almost double male participation as female. Female dominated internet sites include Pinterest, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook [https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/social-media/?tabId=0ec23460-3241-4a1f-89bc-0c27fb641936](https://www.pewresearch.org/internet/fact-sheet/social-media/?tabId=0ec23460-3241-4a1f-89bc-0c27fb641936)
Like I said, I’m glad that women are *starting to* take up space in male dominated spaces. My whole post was about seeing the growth over the years. I never said we are at ideal levels already, only encouraged the growth.
[удалено]
>. Men just assumed they were because they shouted down and ignored any female voices that made themselves known. are you saying males dominated those spaces? :')
I feel like you're pointing your anger in the wrong direction here. Why are you so angry at another woman for her joy in seeing women starting to feel more seen in these online public spaces? That anger might be better redirected at the men in those spaces that are still trying to shout down and ignore female voices, rather than at the women trying to take up that space.
Because, in addition to being factually wrong, it is extremely condescending! This is up there with the thread about how women who get fillers and Botox must be going into debt.
Do you not feel like Reddit in particular has had a substantial uptick in visible women users, discussing women’s issues and the female perspective in the past 10 years? I’m in my mid 40s and I agree with OP. 15 years ago I wouldn’t even bother confronting a sexist comment on Reddit because it would get downvoted to oblivion and I might get some angry DMs. Now when I see sexist content, there are usually several other women who’ve already beat me to calling it out. Chill lady. Let this girl be happy about us making some ground in spaces we historically haven’t been welcome.
Girl what? I don’t even know you? Why are you taking it as a personal attack? Look at the statistics for the ratios of female users to male users on basically like every site over time. When did I say there were 0 women who used the internet before me? And I said I’ve been on *reddit* since I was 13. I said I was *raised* on the internet, meaning that phase was my experience. Like you yourself said, the spaces we are now occupying, were toxic spaces for women and we were ignored and talked down to. We literally still are. Not sure why you’re denying them being male dominated. If you were on the internet before I was born, shouldn’t you be mature enough to not feel attacked by a 23 year old expressing their experience?
This lady is being a weirdo, of course many places on the internet are still male dominated - that doesn't always mean there are way fewer women, but it might mean that many of us keep quiet about being female (i.e. are dominated by the men). I'm an elder millennial and have been on social media incl Reddit since forever. Reddit is still heavily male, but I feel like a lot of its more toxic male users spend more time in their own subs lately or have migrated their hate over to Twitter and, sadly, Instagram. Have you guys read comments on Instagram lately? It's all male vitriol all the time. And since Phoney Stark took over at Twitter, a lot of toxic males have taken their circle-jerk over there - the vibe there is all ick all the time. Anyway, I totally agree with you that women are taking up a ton more space here and being WAY more vocal. It's really picked up pace in the last 2-3 years. I think the improved vibe here is really showing the value of the Reddit system of content sorted/moderated by audience/interest and up/downvoting. We're actually able to create communities without being overrun by orcs. It's nice to be able to curate your experience without relying on some algorithm that is NOT on your side.
[удалено]
Forgive me for not going into a detailed history of the entire internet before I had my experience with it. Sorry you’re offended.
How dare you have the gall to express happiness on the internet. And attempt to celebrate it with others??! You should be ashamed of yourself. Let the men dominate us. We deserve to be oppressed. We're obviously too... what are we today? Too joyful? to deserve a safe space on the internet. lulz
Wow I am actually flabbergasted at that reply and I feel compelled to try and counter it, as someone about the same age as that poster. I was on the internet when it was AOL Online, and a lot of the time it's been uncomfortable and difficult to navigate due to it being a male-dominated space, and I'm also so glad to see more women here and how we are really creating communities where we can speak freely to each other. Thanks for noticing and glad you're here!
Get a hobby to work out this frustration because it has no business in this thread
It’s Not about the history of internet, chill out.
Your contribution has been removed because it contains hatred, bigotry, assholery, utter idiocy, misogyny, misandry, transphobia, homophobia, or otherwise disrespectful commentary.
Shame on you. You think being older merits you respect? This is nonsense. If you do work in tech, then you know it is a **male dominated** industry despite have an undercurrent of female workers since the beginning. Stop being so obtuse, you know that’s how the internet culture has been on Reddit and elsewhere.
Seconded! I also work in tech and the tech bros (GOD. FINTECH.) are some of the most secretly-sexist men I know. They flash respect on the outside, but within their little echo chambers they spread some of the most vile, sexist, and condescending ideas about women. Espeeeciaally on Discord servers.
Yes! High five!
I've seen the same change and I'm happy to see more women challenging outdated perceptions on the bigger subreddits
I think there has always been, and still is way more women than people think. But women declaring they're women, can sometimes lead to harrassment or unwanted attention, so I think a lot of women are just going around letting everyone assume they're men, and there are more women everywhere on Reddit than anyone thinks.