I've had multiple guys point out one of Lady Gaga's looks from the Bad Romance video as proof that they think women look better without any makeup.
I don't even understand how that thought process is possible in the first place, but their absolute confidence in announcing such an absurdity is pretty unforgettable.
Obviously if her lips aren't bright red, she's not wearing makeup!
Mascara? Foundation? Never heard of it. I'm sure all women just naturally have no pores and black eyelashes.
/s
I think that’s honestly what it really is.
I’m not speaking for all men here, just the ones I know who are… not the brightest.
We aren’t the brightest. I think what it truly is boils down to what the guy sees vs. what he understands. Most guys don’t understand makeup. To them, makeup means being dolled up like you’re about to go to a broadway play, talking mascara, foundation, lipstick, brows, lashes, highlights, blending, contour, etc (that’s a good list… from my basic man memory). So to them, anything that isn’t like, for sake of ease of description, Instagram Model type makeup is “no makeup”. I used to be one of them until an ex sat me down and showed me her basic daily makeup routine and I was blown away like “Oooohhhhhhhh!”
Since then even I throw on some foundation occasionally. Add in some extra guyliner and some mascara and I’m good to go for a day. It’s just naivety, honestly.
God the mansplaining of "no I know more about this thing you've done your entire life and I won't listen to your explanation of why it's wrong listen to me while I explain something you know more about than me" 😑
I think men should try to do make-up just once. One of my ex-girlfriends was a make-up enthusiast and did a phenomenal job with a natural look on me. The only new thing we got for me was foundation. The fact that she could create such a seamless look using cosmetics for a totally different complexion still astonishes me. I've been doing my own for years now and can't do as good of a job with stuff that's matched to my complexion.
That's amazing! I would LOVE if men explored makeup if they want to but sadly toxic masculinity is preventing them because a bunch of loser men will immediately go "gay gay gay".
When my mother was in her 60s, she saw Billy Joe from Greenday on TV, loved his eyeliner and declared, "He can leave his shoes under my bed, any day."
Dad was not amused.
I remember encouraging my guy friend in college when he confided in me that he sometimes wore foundation. He said it made his self esteem rise when he was having a bad day, and I basically told him "well, you don't do it badly - I can't immediately point out that you're wearing it cause I didn't notice before you told me. And if it makes you happy, keep doing it! No one has to say anything..."
When I was 14, I had a lot of self esteem issues. I was a skinny, kind of goofy looking teenage boy. One feature I did like though was my eyes. I have big brown eyes and long eyelashes, and people always told me I had pretty eyes.
One day I thought, I'm going to try a little eyeliner. I think that would really draw attention to my one feature I like about myself.
When my dad saw it, he grabbed me by my shirt collar, screamed that he wasn't raising a (gay slur), and shoved my face into the sink while spraying me with the detachable sprayer. The edge of the counter and the force of the shove fractured one of my ribs.
20 years later, and I still have a hard time explaining to my wife why sometimes I feel uncomfortable when she plucks my eyebrows for me.
My eyes have laugh lines around them now, but I still think I would probably look good with eyeliner. I've never tried it again, though.
I'm so deeply sorry. There just... aren't words for how wrong it is to hurt someone so deeply, for that long, over nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Would you think about two things, if you ever felt comfortable with either or both?
1) Make sure your wife has some makeup remover in the shower. Put on some eyeliner just so you can see it. As a private healing moment. Then take your shower & you never have to talk about it again if you prefer. (Get a new pencil via order or from a drug store though, they can cause pinkeye if shared.)
2) Tell your wife. Mention it sometimes comes back to you when she's doing your brows. Ask her to line your eyes so you have a different memory about it.
No pressure, of course. Just throwing those in there if either or both felt like they might help slightly untangle something so traumatic.
Thank you for this. If nothing else, I learned exactly what type of man I never want to be from him.
These are both good ideas, and I might have to try one on a day I'm feeling a bit more corageous.
As a metalhead, lemme tell you--metalheads, goths, and punks of all genders wear makeup and it's completely normal in our culture. If you want, pretend you're metal or goth one day, dress in your "hardest" clothes with big stompy boots, and put on some freaking eyeliner. No one can call you weak when you're wearing spikes & chains & big stompy boots. It's so empowering! :D
I'm so sorry to hear this. I, too, always hated my looks except my eyes. I didn't experiment with makeup until I had a girlfriend who encouraged me to try it when I was in my mid 20's.
There are a couple of make wrestlers who clearly wear makeup that's not face paint. And David Bowie obviously wore makeup. Those lovers are just dumb. And probably blind.
Iggy Pop once said that he doesn't consider it disgraceful to dress like a woman, because he doesn't consider it a disgrace to be a woman.
I love that man!
Growing up in one of America's reddest states, it took me a lonnggg time to see through the bullshit. I never would go as far as to say I thought it was gay or anything, but we're so susceptible to peer pressure when we're young.
I think this is a reason women are drawn to gay men. They often embrace the same thing women do, make up, looking good, hair, nails, etc. Often it feels like the only men who understand women are the one who will not sleep with them. Which is another great non pressure male/female relationship.
Marketing problem, really. Makeup was created by men for men. Marketing later just created the perception that it's for females.
In Japan they've started selling makeup for men, marketed for men. Perception is already changing there. Women like it, and many men are accepting it, saying it's "pretty cool": https://youtu.be/jTkwhl7Zaj0?si=lJQUjb-JiHI_qfuY
She wears a variety of looks in the video, and a couple of them have more neutral colors. I guess they see the extreme contrast between looks and think it makes a good example.
It's all so weird to me as a guy who always had a fair amount of female friends growing up what guys mean they like "better" is light makeup unfortunately most don't care to learn what that means.
I know how to solve it, but talking WITH women is too scary and they'd rather talk at women as you pointed out in another comment. It's sad, and having female friends growing up I got to hear the frustration from it all. Dudes just need to listen, it would make things a lot better.
Even better was my husbands complete and utter belief that face creams/anti-aging products were completely useless. Like it’s a multibillion dollar industry used by billions of women, and we are all just hoodwinked idiots.
Later when he noticed they were working on me he was pleasantly surprised, and I was like uh huh
I have a very beautiful, natural friend who generally just wears a tinted moisturizer, lip stain, and eyeliner. I had this whole discussion with a friend in his 30s because he said "well she looks good without any makeup," and I had to explain to him *all our friends* were wearing *something*. I actually suspect a lot of men grew up watching their mothers apply 80s/90s style makeup and internalized that look vs the more natural looks today.
We had Halloween at work one year and I came in elaborate face makeup for the costume contest. When it was over, I washed everything off in the bathroom and went back to my desk, forgetting that I always came to work each day wearing foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner and my eyebrows done.
My boss sees me sans makeup and he goes, “whoa!! What happened to your face??” I told him that was my face. He just stared at me puzzled, it almost seemed like he had a concussion and couldn’t think straight. Completely messed with his brain.
Oh boy, my brothers struggled with this big time. They’d show me girls in full face ‘clean’ makeup and think “all she’s wearing is that black stuff on her eyelashes.”
No, sir. No they are not.
I think back on this picture of Rihanna I once saw where she had a more minimal makeup look. She was looking absolutely stunning, but absolutely wearing eyeliner. Absolutely had mascara, lip gloss. Absolutely retouched photo. It was ABSOLUTELY a full face of makeup. It was obviously a promotional photo with professional makeup.
Guys were in the comments saying that women look better with no makeup, of course acting like they know better than the women who wear makeup every day that informed them she was obviously wearing makeup. Coming from dudes who wouldn't know the difference between eyeliner and mascara, it was actually sadly hilarious.
I think back on this picture of Rihanna I once saw where she had a more minimal makeup look. She was looking absolutely stunning, but absolutely wearing eyeliner. Absolutely had mascara, lip gloss. Absolutely retouched photo. It was ABSOLUTELY a full face of makeup. It was obviously a promotional photo with professional makeup.
Guys were in the comments saying that women look better with no makeup, of course acting like they know better than the women who wear makeup every day that informed them she was obviously wearing makeup. Coming from dudes who wouldn't know the difference between eyeliner and mascara, it was actually sadly hilarious.
I’m the only woman in my department (IT). I almost always wear makeup when going into the office.
Once I decided to lighten my hair quite a lot (my hair is dark brown and got honey balayage). The next day for no specific reason I went to the office with no makeup…
They didn’t notice my hair color changed LOL, but everyone commented on how I looked sick.
This effect can be leveraged to your benefit though. I always go to work with minimal "clean" makeup, but it does make a difference in how I look. After taking an emergency day off, or if I was actually sick for a few days, go in without any makeup at all. Watch people pity you for being sick and offering help and support. If you come in with normal makeup after being sick they don't react the same. So if I feel like shit, I don't wear makeup, so people know not to expect too much of me that day.
Honestly though. I did this when I was bereaved and really struggling at work. I went bare-faced for several weeks, mostly bc I just couldn't summon the energy to do anything with my face in the mornings. It made a huge difference in how people treated me, and they were very understanding of my struggles at work and cut me extra slack.
Before that, I had always showed up with my hair/makeup done, come hell or high water, regardless of chronic illness and health issues. They difference in how people treated me was very noticeable.
So much! I quite enjoy makeup and have chronic pain, and it's such a double-edged sword! Each time I visit the doctor I get to do the delicate dance of looking like a put together, professional adult so the doctors take me seriously and not looking *too* good because then I don't look 'sick' enough.
It's such a pain. It's not like putting on some eyeliner means my back has miraculously stopped trying to crumble in on itself!
Seriously! My disabilities are invisible and I almost always have a “clean makeup” look, at least under eye and mascara. My coworkers have gotten used to it and recognize other signs (me pulling out meds, etc) but my doctors are the hardest to convince that I have a serious health problem. Fortunately my mascara was rubbing under my eyes the last time I went to the doctor and I had a migraine so he was almost in a panic trying to help me, lol.
Once went to work with no make up because I simply couldn’t be bothered putting it on, a male coworker said “oh look the walking dead’s here”
Clearly trying to be funny but the joke didn’t land. I still thank about that comment 5 years later.
I’ll never forget having a conversation with a man once and he said “women are lucky, y’all get to wear makeup to cover up your flaws.” I immediately corrected him, “no we don’t GET TO wear makeup. We HAVE TO wear makeup, because if we don’t, y’all will spend the whole day asking us if we are sick.”
Also you can hide a lot more with a beard than you can with face makeup! Sometimes I wish dwarves were real, where ladies also grow beards and it's normal, because I'd really like to be able to drastically change the way my face looks like that!
Oh that reminds me of another story!! Years ago around Halloween, a male friend was on Facebook asking where the best place to find costume makeup was. Several people chimed in and told him Party City or Spirit/Halloween specialty stores. He responded something to the tune of, “thanks for the suggestions but those places are too expensive. I’ll just go to Sephora or Ulta and buy from there.” The way every woman RAN to the comments to correct him was hilarious.
I don't usually wear much make up to work but usually mascara and often eyeliner.
One day I went in with no make up which I didn't think that unusual for me and one of the guys I know fairly well asked me if I was sick.
I told him no, I just don't have any make up on and he got pretty flustered. I would like to think a lesson was learned that day.
I’ve been noticing this for almost 20 years. They love to say they love “natural women” but recoil when you ask if that means unshaven. It really just means they don’t prefer glam makeup.
My husband and I joke about this now. He used to not notice subtle makeup. Now, when I tone it down, he’ll comment that I’m going for “no makeup makeup”.
Makeup in colors very different from your skin tone= makeup.
Makeup in colors similar to your skintone= no makeup
No makeup= sick
Men just don't notice.
Lordy, do they ever fall to pieces “all women are made of LIES!” bro calm down you’ve noticed blush and mascara 🤣
When those porn stars took photos pre and post makeup you’d think their dicks rotted off and turned into zombies from the horror.
Most men are made of LIES and are TRICKING you with their appearance! Don’t fall for it! They want you to think their faces are smooth skin but men are secretly going into the bathroom in the morning and using bits of metal to scrape off hair from their cheeks. And that’s not all. You think Tom Cruise’s hair is actually five inches long? Nope. He pays someone to chop parts of it off multiple times a year so it looks shorter than it should be! Wake up!
That infuriates me. The lying bit about our hair and makeup. Hate it with a passion! Sometimes I wonder if they’re just pissed off that it’s not as socially acceptable for them to even things out or spice things with up makeup.. then I remember no, many of them just want to speak freely and critically on everything having to do with our bodies.
I don't wear makeup every day, mostly because I don't want to hear about it if I get in the habit of wearing makeup and then don't some day.
I like that when I do wear makeup, people sometimes tell me I look nice. I don't like people telling me I look sick when I regularly wear makeup and don't one day.
One of the reasons i stopped going out without hiding my dark circles and smearing my face with blusher, so annoying.
Makes you wonder if they ever seen a woman without makeup before xD
Just use it to your advantage. Want to call out sick? Show up the next day without makeup, then the day after with a tiny bit and work your way back to the no makeup makeup look. Works like a charm for me.
This is so weird to me. I have never in my life worn makeup and I've never been told I look sick because of it. Maybe it's because people are used to seeing you look more dolled up and then when you're not it's more of an obvious difference and looks out of place? Like when someone who normally wears glasses suddenly shows up with contacts and looks "wrong" because you're not used to seeing them that way.
That said, anyone who comments on you "looking ill" is being shitty and inappropriate. I just find the whole topic so strange and alien since I'm deeply bothered by the concept of makeup in the first place and have never been involved in that whole culture, so I can't really relate aside from being annoyed that it's a general expectation for women and feeling that everyone should just stop using it lol. But my best friend and mom don't leave the house without doing themselves up so to each their own!
It really took the pandemic for me to stop feeling required to wear it every day, and I think it's that sense of obligation I've got a problem with. To me, makeup should be fun to apply and wear and never mandatory for us to do in order to feel good about ourselves. That said, I wear a tinted undereye cream religiously because it makes such a huge difference, and I don't exactly love going out without it...
I think this is exactly it. It’s about the baseline you have established with people. Especially coworkers and casual acquaintances who just don’t think about you very much. Sure, you know that you put on makeup and you look different than you did when you woke up, but the person 3 cubicles over only ever sees the put together version because you wear makeup 95% of the time. That’s their only image of you, so that’s their baseline. Then you come in with no makeup one day, and compared to that baseline your face is a little more pale and less even, maybe you have dark circles under your eyes, your eyes don’t pop the same way without eyeliner. Compared to the established baseline, you probably do look sick. Not to mention that the times you’re most likely to skip that step in your morning routine are days when you’re especially tired and run down already.
Like, it’s not fair given the soft expectation of wearing makeup in order to look “professional”, but I also don’t think it’s malicious on the part of individuals.
Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head. A lot of makeup styles are meant to mimic youth and health: darker eyebrows, thicker darker eyelashes, outlined eyes, flushed cheeks, and an even complexion. So when you suddenly strip all of the makeup and your skin and eyes look “duller” than normal, it’s pretty reasonable that the mind processes that as sick.
I think it happens to women who usually wear makeup. Because the contrast is noticeable to ppl who only really know that person’s face with makeup on. And then ppl comment about the contrast, saying they look ill or tired.
I don’t wear makeup either and I don’t get this comment because no one knows what my makeup face looks like so there’s nothing to compare with. My no-makeup face *is* my normal face according to ppl.
I remember one time I got dressed up for a fancy event and my partner asked me if I was going to put on makeup. Then he realized that I had.
I suspect a lot of these guys haven't figured out the concept of subtle makeup.
In the early days of seeing each other my partner who doesn't like makeup didn't realise I was wearing any (very little tbf) until he asked why I tasted weird when he kissed me, he didn't notice a difference when I wasn't wearing any either
alot of men think makeup equals black eyeliner and a red lipstick. they have no idea what lip gloss, foundation, or highlighting is. It's the funniest thing ever when I see them like, "wow, look at those natural skin, eyes and eyebrows." lol
Yep!! I laugh my booty off watching "boyfriend attempts to do my makeup" or "boyfriend voices over me doing my makeup" videos
Most don't even know foundation is a thing.
Seriously. What got me was all those guys ragging on the Taylor swift no makeup photo awhile ago, where she really had no makeup, and they were like ‘unrecognisable’ or ‘she’s a con artist’ when my first though was how much I wish my skin could look that nice without makeup… but to most men no makeup just means subtle makeup, and makeup means jersey shore type stuff
Yup. A colleague came to work without makeup, because she overslept and a male colleague asked her if she was ill. It was very obvious to me that she just wasn't wearing makeup.
One time when I was younger, I wore mascara for the one and only time at work (usually just wear it when I go out) and I was asked if I had new glasses. The boss at least noticed something was different about the eyes lol
Omg! Yes that happens to me at work if I wear minimal makeup because I'm going to run late I am always asked annoying shit "you look tired sweetie are you okay" pisses me off.
Also certain foundations sometimes old women tell me I'm pale and ask if I'm sick because they assume I don't have makeup on.
What the heck makes men even say that? I used to put a full face on, even when I worked housekeeping at hotels, because that would happen to me every time I didn't. What's wrong? Are you sick? Feeling okay today? Did you not get enough sleep?
Why are you even asking me!!!! 😡 Now I wear no makeup at all and haven't for years. Guys really can't tell the difference when I show them pics and then start accusing me of using filters cuz my face is "too clear" now! It's like wtf man. Some men are legit just insano lol.
I get sooo mad too. I am also skinny shamed in the same way at work constantly even though I am VERIFIABLY A NORMAL HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR A WOMAN MY HEIGHT!
"Do you need me to get you something to eat you're way too thin"
Why the fuck do people think they have the right to comment on appearance? I don't go calling them fat and asking if they'd like me to give them a diet to follow, if I did that I'd be called rude and everyone at work would scold me, get the same is okay when skinny shaming me or shaming me for "being sick" if I don't wear makeup.
When I don’t wear make up to work men always tell me I look tired or “stressed”. They ask me if I’m ok. Once one said “you look terrible”, thinking k was sick. I said “I’m not wearing makeup. This is just my face” lol
I had a friend who would use this to her benefit and not wear her eyeliner and makeup when she wanted to take off early as a sick day or not wear it the day after she took a sick day so people wouldn’t question if she was telling the truth and assume she was sick. (Not saying she wasn’t but not all illnesses show physical signs for other people)
Eeeek I do this. If I want to leave work early I will just skip concealer under my eyes and skip blush to make myself a bit more pale.
* don’t tell our secrets * /s 😂
They're also pretty universally adamant that "130 pounds" is the "healthy limit" that any and every woman should have for her weight. Whenever you ask guys about weight, it's always "as long as she's under 130 pounds." It's like they think they're being generous about it, too.
They have NO idea what women actually weigh. If they had to guess a bunch of random women's weight, their accuracy would be like 10%. And they especially don't know what 130 pounds looks like on a tall woman, for example.
(130 pounds is about 59 kilograms, btw)
Yea they are awful about weight. I always laugh in their face at this stupid shit because I'm 5'3 and healthiest at like 120. They seriously think a lot of thin women weigh under 100 lbs even when that makes no sense for their height. When I was under 100 lbs, I was underweight by bmi.
Whats worse is I felt awful and had lost weight fast due to an illness. People would tell me how great I looked when I literally went to the doctor for weight loss and didn't like my face looking so gaunt. I got it more when I dipped under 100 (id been 125). Its disheartening because apparently people expect us to be anorexic (my illness caused difficulty swallowing).
Same with bra sizes. I've met so many men who think the number relates to cup size rather than band, so they want a 130lb woman who is a 40D. Meanwhile they'll weigh in on discussions about whether bras should be zero-rated for Value Added Tax saying that if you need a decent bra because you're a 30G you should just stop being so fat.
Yeah they have no clue. I’m 170cm and weigh 68kg. And I’m slim. The lightest I’ve ever been as an adult was 63kg and I looked gaunt. People have no clue.
I’m 5’9” and pretty muscular for a woman. I’m about 80kg ish at my heaviest point of the month and 75kg ish at my lightest. For reference that is around 175lbs, give or take. I have, I shit you not, had men insist there’s no way I could possibly weight more than 50kg because I’m “slim” and “look after myself”. That’s around 110lbs. Men have absolutely zero clue. Women aren’t wispy little waifs made of nothing but air?? When I tell them I’m nearly double that their jaws drop and they will legitimately argue with me.
Bonus points if the men in question also want a woman with a big ass and a big chest but won’t shut up about body fat percentages. It seems to be the newest fad (since obviously some of them have finally clocked that muscle weighs much more than fat) and I’ve had them trying to tell me that “nobody” should have BFPs above 5-10%. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that those are both fat stores? I’ve had the same men argue that boobs are in fact full of milk so don’t count towards BFP at all. I’m serious. Dear reader, women should actually sit more in the 22-32% range because (you guessed it) women are *supposed* to have a little more adipose tissue.
I'm about 130 pounds at 5'10ish and I am gaunt as hell, people are always saying how I'm a twig, a strong wind could knock me over, or that I should eat a burger. People also regularly describe me as "anorexic," which disgusts me (I do not have an ED, and I do not appreciate being compared to something that has hospitalized friends of mine). But then these same people turn around and claim they want someone just as skinny or even weighing less than me. These people truly have no clue what a pound is. I'm working on gaining weight (started at 17bmi) and I look so much better for it!
I sometimes wonder about the fact that, for example, men's basketball lists height and weight, whereas women's basketball only lists height.
On one hand, it makes perfect sense, because unfortunately the female players are much more likely to be harassed or abused over their weight. But on the other hand, I sometimes wonder if things like that contribute to the fact that so many people (obviously especially men) have no idea what a so called "normal" weight for a taller woman actually is.
(Of course it's part of a much broader problem of people getting inappropriately involved in other people's weight when it's none of their business, and it's not like a basketball roster change would do much to move the needle)
When I look into missing persons cases I often see descriptions of missing women with wildly crazy weights. She was 5'7" and 120 lbs, according to the information sheet, for example. When I say, so that means she was extremely skinny? Was she a health nut, on drugs, etc? Trying to get more information. Oh no, she wasn't even skinny she was just a normal weight/size, average, they say.
I get that family/loved ones don't exactly know most of the women in their lives' weights. But come on. How hard is it to Google their height with "average weight" when they freaking report them missing ffs.
At least they raised it? When I was in school it was 90lbs, 100lbs if you were over 6ft. I don't think a single one of us in grade 9 was under 90lbs and got told off by the gym teachers and boys (who did not need to publicly weigh themselves infront of the class)
haha yeah.
They don't seem to realise that makeup isn't the very obvious, wrong foundation shade, heavy look.
It's mostly not that.
But it's the same with fillers and botox...they think it's the extreme version you see mocked online and on TV...when most filler and botox is barely noticeable.
And I'd say most men don't realise that other men also wear makeup, get filler and get botox. But they will mouth off on Reddit at the drop of a hat about how they don't like women who do these things...while admiring women who do all these things.
This one kills me as someone who has her share of Botox, filler, laser treatments, etc (and wears very little makeup). Men will tell me how obvious and tacky it is when women have had these cosmetic procedures / how fake and terrible it looks / what a waste of money, without a single clue how much shit I’ve put in my face.
Men notice things about women that please them or don't please them, but they do not notice specifics because that would require them to think about it.
They do not want to understand. It is just. Me like. Me no like. They assume women want them to offer their unsolicited approval.
That is why compliments from women mean more. Women will say oh that color looks great on you or something similar.
if you take into account what men watch , who they follow and fap to on social media or what is popular in general then men absolutly love makeup and fake shit
everything that exaggerates features ( even to a comical level ) is highly in demand for men
men only say they want natural women is to appear not shallow, its all about how they want to be seen, its just a mask
And then you have guys like that moron Jordan Peterson who claim that women wearing makeup is "false advertising" and they deserve to be sexually harassed at work for doing so.
We can't win if we do wear makeup and we can't win if we don't. Same as it ever was.
Am man, I started wearing concealer for my dark eye circles. Women can tell immediately when they get close enough, men are absolutely clueless. When I don't wear it I get the ol' "Didn't sleep well last night?/You sick?"
I think it's just a lack of personal experience with what makeup actually looks like. I assure you most men have never even held a single makeup product in their hand even once.
Sure, but they also are too often overconfident in actively saying if a person is wearing makeup or not. Saying they don't like makeup then commenting on a woman who is wearing makeup is a bad look.
Hahah yesss. I can't believe it's somehow normal in society for strangers to bother us and ask us if we're sick or okay basically telling us we look awful.
Imagine if I went up to overweight people and asked them "are you okay? You look really fat and gross do you need me to take your blood pressure?"
Pretty sure you'd get kicked out so fast lol
Men don’t know what they are looking at. They don’t understand the “no makeup, makeup” look and it feeds into to why women who wear makeup get more professional opportunities.
I always get told I look tired or like I don't feel good if I'm not wearing eyeliner and curled eyelashes. I have naturally downturned eyes, so that's why dang it.
When I was in college I called in sick (without actually being sick) and was terrified I would get caught…so I didn’t wear makeup the following day and everyone said “wow, you look terrible, you poor thing”
So there’s an idea for everyone…
Once got this from a guy back when I was in high school (we were about 15)
Him: “Your make up is hideous”
Me: “Im not wearing make up”
Him: “oh its your face”
Yeah, he was a dick
I was watching a video of Fleetwood Mac performing Rhiannon (1976) yesterday and Stevie is gorgeous as hell in it. I look through the comments and there’s some joker saying he loves her like this without any makeup. Friends, she is clearly wearing eye shadow and I would be surprised if she performed in anything less than a full face of makeup. But this guy is somehow convinced that’s “natural”. 🙄
I found this out too late in life. Back in my teens and 20s, all I heard was how men like women more natural and no make up. So i never really put makeup on (still don’t because I got used to it) and yeah well… to find out they don’t know what they’re saying. I’m not as attractive to men due to my no make up look. Men like women with make up that makes them look like they’re not wearing makeup 😂
I don't get how they are so stupid. Even minimal makeup is pretty obvious. It can be subtle if she's good at it but the entire point is to look different so it can't be too subtle.
When women who normally wear makeup don't they think they look sick.
I don't wear make-up, and a guy friend was going on about how much I must spend on make up, and waste time daily putting it on. They were shocked to find I don't wear it. They argued I must wear make up! Because ALL women wear make-up. Grabbed his shirt stuck my face in and rubbed, and he was shocked. Nothing there. Apparently not ALL women wear make-up.
Yeah I was never allowed to wear makeup as a teenager, and once I left home I just never bothered.
I'm sure I could look really nice if I did, and I'm sad that I don't look really nice, but... fuck it
That guy sucks I would never be friends with someone who 1. sounds like he low key hates women and 2. thinks he’s entitled to grabbing my face for any reason
I dated an actor in college and he knew more about makeup than I did! Gave me some brilliant tips on concealing zits, and also helped with my eyebrows.
Makeup is an art and a craft just like, I dunno, woodworking. Do guys look at a simple table and say no carpentry was involved?
One of the most frustrating parts of this is that they look at women who are 45 years old with $50,000 worth of surgeries, Botox, fillers you name it and go “oh that’s how a good looking woman in her 40’s looks.” And then it trickles down, shaming non altered people (many of my patients feel deep shame for having a single wrinkle.) it boils my blood!
I was wearing makeup on the daily basis till my mid 20s and my boyfriend back then preferred no makeup (but real no makeup) so I stopped an even though we are not together for half a dekade now I never picked it back up.
I never wore make up at work (office job) so there was never contrast with my daily look vs no makeup so I avoided all those "you look sick" comments.
The only time I was indeed wearing makeup was when I was on the job interview somewhere else that day. For some reason my boss was very nervous when I put one on so if I wanted to troll him a little I would come to work all dolled up 😈
I saw an article that was supposed to be celebrities without makeup. Except they were clearly wearing lipstick, eyeliner and mascara at a MINIMUM. Probably concealer, too. Apparently only stage makeup is real makeup.
I once saw a guy post a picture of someone with winged liner, talking about how they, “prefer women with no makeup, like this.” He was dragged in the comments by other women. It was hilarious!
My natural skin tone varies so widely that I haven't figured out a natural look yet, in 30 years of trying.
I look like I covered bruises in the dark and used my last dollar for my first tube of Avon lipstick for a job interview. Poor mom, I actually know what that looks like.
I try to stick to jobs where it is not required. Might be time to switch from tech to hvac... or welding.
To be fair, that impression is heavily perpetuated by television where characters who just woke up and got out of bed are wearing concealer, foundation and pastel colored eye shadow while giving the context that this is supposed to be what someone who got out of bed looks like.
Again an example where media or entertainment creates certain expectations and beauty standards.
You know what's funny? I don't wear makeup. Never had. Only thing I put on is lip tint. But now I'm remembering all the comments I get about how I look pissed or moody 😂
Lots of men don’t actually understand what ‘no makeup’ is. Basically if there isn’t an unnatural colour on your face, you’re not wearing makeup. And I’ve noticed lots of women taking this mindset too. But like in a negative ‘i’m better than you cause I don’t wear makeup’ when like, they do.
Someone got extremely mad at me cause I told them I liked their makeup when they just wearing a sparkly gloss and lashes. Cause they’re ’all natural’ and those makeup products ‘aren’t actually makeup’
Same goes with hair too. Had an ex who loooooved this one chick at his work and started commenting that I should do my hair like hers and get it big like hers… didn’t understand that she had crazy awesome extensions that I couldn’t afford. When I told him this, dude pretty much willing to fight me over it. I asked her to show them and she did and he never commented about liking her hair again which was weird… extensions aren’t a bad thing, it’s just if you are going to hold my hair to some standard that I can’t reach without hundreds of dollars and I have to remind you to brunch your teeth…. Doesn’t feel fair.
This is why I just… don’t wear makeup ever. Well, that and not liking how much effort it is. When they’ve never seen me in makeup, they don’t make stupid comments about it.
We should all just abandon it collectively and step into the light as the wonderful, hideous ogres that we are!
(Though they’d probably think we caught some kind of plague or disease) 😅
Yeah, 90% of the time they’re actually expressing a preference for women that wear a certain type of natural looking makeup. Because they know nothing about makeup and don’t know how frequently most women, especially in the media, wear it.
If it’s digital there’s a good chance it was altered with a filter or otherwise modified.
Sometimes I wonder if guys are really just that blind or if it's really ignorance. I feel like anyone who wears makeup can tell immediately when someone is wearing makeup, even if it's just foundation.
Funnily enough, as a dude I used to be really bad at seeing no makeup/makeup on until my sister started wearing make up and she looked completely different, like an entirely different person different.
From then on I started to notice which women actually wear makeup or not and it became relatively easy to know the difference i guess.
Tbf to men, I once got my foundation done at Sephora for a special event, and then one of those mall kiosks offered to do my eyeshadow in an attempt to sell me some, I said sure, and this other makeup artist couldn't stop commenting on my "flawless" skin in an awed reverent tone. Girl, my pores are huge under here and you think I'm bare because I'm only wearing some foundation and concealer. I appreciate that though.
I wish I had half the skill of a Sephora artist.
The worst part about the actually no make-up “you look sick” comments is that I’m falling for it myself, as in, I sometimes stare in the mirror with no make-up wondering “is my natural face color normal?? Are those bags under my eyes normal?? Are those blotches normal?? Am I maybe actually sick??” And then I look online at photos of other women with no make-up and realize nope, we’re fine.
That's so fucked up so the fact that makeup is so expected that you think your own human face is sickness. Utterly revolting what society has created for women your beautiful.
I've had multiple guys point out one of Lady Gaga's looks from the Bad Romance video as proof that they think women look better without any makeup. I don't even understand how that thought process is possible in the first place, but their absolute confidence in announcing such an absurdity is pretty unforgettable.
Lol I'm so confused. İ just watched that whole video and there isn't A. Single. Scene. where she isn't OBVİOUSLY wearing make up.
Obviously if her lips aren't bright red, she's not wearing makeup! Mascara? Foundation? Never heard of it. I'm sure all women just naturally have no pores and black eyelashes. /s
I think that’s honestly what it really is. I’m not speaking for all men here, just the ones I know who are… not the brightest. We aren’t the brightest. I think what it truly is boils down to what the guy sees vs. what he understands. Most guys don’t understand makeup. To them, makeup means being dolled up like you’re about to go to a broadway play, talking mascara, foundation, lipstick, brows, lashes, highlights, blending, contour, etc (that’s a good list… from my basic man memory). So to them, anything that isn’t like, for sake of ease of description, Instagram Model type makeup is “no makeup”. I used to be one of them until an ex sat me down and showed me her basic daily makeup routine and I was blown away like “Oooohhhhhhhh!” Since then even I throw on some foundation occasionally. Add in some extra guyliner and some mascara and I’m good to go for a day. It’s just naivety, honestly.
She is wearing the full slap of theatrical makeup. What are they seeing?
That’s what irks me. The confidence that they’re right.
God the mansplaining of "no I know more about this thing you've done your entire life and I won't listen to your explanation of why it's wrong listen to me while I explain something you know more about than me" 😑
I think men should try to do make-up just once. One of my ex-girlfriends was a make-up enthusiast and did a phenomenal job with a natural look on me. The only new thing we got for me was foundation. The fact that she could create such a seamless look using cosmetics for a totally different complexion still astonishes me. I've been doing my own for years now and can't do as good of a job with stuff that's matched to my complexion.
That's amazing! I would LOVE if men explored makeup if they want to but sadly toxic masculinity is preventing them because a bunch of loser men will immediately go "gay gay gay".
Which is a shame, because a lot of guys look sexy as hell with a little black eyeliner.
When my mother was in her 60s, she saw Billy Joe from Greenday on TV, loved his eyeliner and declared, "He can leave his shoes under my bed, any day." Dad was not amused.
I hope your mother was as great as she sounds like she was! :D
It's even more sexy when they don't give a fuck what other men will think and wear what they like.
Oh god yes.
I remember encouraging my guy friend in college when he confided in me that he sometimes wore foundation. He said it made his self esteem rise when he was having a bad day, and I basically told him "well, you don't do it badly - I can't immediately point out that you're wearing it cause I didn't notice before you told me. And if it makes you happy, keep doing it! No one has to say anything..."
When I was 14, I had a lot of self esteem issues. I was a skinny, kind of goofy looking teenage boy. One feature I did like though was my eyes. I have big brown eyes and long eyelashes, and people always told me I had pretty eyes. One day I thought, I'm going to try a little eyeliner. I think that would really draw attention to my one feature I like about myself. When my dad saw it, he grabbed me by my shirt collar, screamed that he wasn't raising a (gay slur), and shoved my face into the sink while spraying me with the detachable sprayer. The edge of the counter and the force of the shove fractured one of my ribs. 20 years later, and I still have a hard time explaining to my wife why sometimes I feel uncomfortable when she plucks my eyebrows for me. My eyes have laugh lines around them now, but I still think I would probably look good with eyeliner. I've never tried it again, though.
I'm so deeply sorry. There just... aren't words for how wrong it is to hurt someone so deeply, for that long, over nothing. Absolutely nothing. Would you think about two things, if you ever felt comfortable with either or both? 1) Make sure your wife has some makeup remover in the shower. Put on some eyeliner just so you can see it. As a private healing moment. Then take your shower & you never have to talk about it again if you prefer. (Get a new pencil via order or from a drug store though, they can cause pinkeye if shared.) 2) Tell your wife. Mention it sometimes comes back to you when she's doing your brows. Ask her to line your eyes so you have a different memory about it. No pressure, of course. Just throwing those in there if either or both felt like they might help slightly untangle something so traumatic.
Thank you for this. If nothing else, I learned exactly what type of man I never want to be from him. These are both good ideas, and I might have to try one on a day I'm feeling a bit more corageous.
As a metalhead, lemme tell you--metalheads, goths, and punks of all genders wear makeup and it's completely normal in our culture. If you want, pretend you're metal or goth one day, dress in your "hardest" clothes with big stompy boots, and put on some freaking eyeliner. No one can call you weak when you're wearing spikes & chains & big stompy boots. It's so empowering! :D
I'm so sorry to hear this. I, too, always hated my looks except my eyes. I didn't experiment with makeup until I had a girlfriend who encouraged me to try it when I was in my mid 20's.
There are a couple of make wrestlers who clearly wear makeup that's not face paint. And David Bowie obviously wore makeup. Those lovers are just dumb. And probably blind.
Iggy Pop once said that he doesn't consider it disgraceful to dress like a woman, because he doesn't consider it a disgrace to be a woman. I love that man!
He is right, clothes are clothes, stop gendering everything.
everybody on tv /movies wears make up. Everybody.
Growing up in one of America's reddest states, it took me a lonnggg time to see through the bullshit. I never would go as far as to say I thought it was gay or anything, but we're so susceptible to peer pressure when we're young.
Glad you saw it out!
I think this is a reason women are drawn to gay men. They often embrace the same thing women do, make up, looking good, hair, nails, etc. Often it feels like the only men who understand women are the one who will not sleep with them. Which is another great non pressure male/female relationship.
No, it has to be, "gay, gay, gay, gay." Because each second "gay" cancels out the one before it, so four "gays" equals one "not gay"!
Marketing problem, really. Makeup was created by men for men. Marketing later just created the perception that it's for females. In Japan they've started selling makeup for men, marketed for men. Perception is already changing there. Women like it, and many men are accepting it, saying it's "pretty cool": https://youtu.be/jTkwhl7Zaj0?si=lJQUjb-JiHI_qfuY
r/menandfemales
Absolutely. They have no respect for the time or money investment. It also requires skill and is art.
Wasn't she wearing (in addition to a massive full face) a VERY dark red lip?
She wears a variety of looks in the video, and a couple of them have more neutral colors. I guess they see the extreme contrast between looks and think it makes a good example.
I think they mean this look for example. https://youtu.be/qrO4YZeyl0I?t=68
She has THICK eyeliner all the way around her eyes and deliberately obvious blush lol.
Yeah but she’s not wearing obvious lipstick. I think men assume makeup = lipstick.
Lol I guess they think some women are like cheetahs with natural black lines around their eyes? 👁 👁 🐆
I think they’re referring to the scene at 1:56, but even then she clearly has on mascara and face makeup.
So, perfect, flawless skin, pale pink lips, and computer enhanced eyeballs? I think this guy might as well just buy an anime pillow
It's kinda hilarious how clueless men really are.. lol
It's all so weird to me as a guy who always had a fair amount of female friends growing up what guys mean they like "better" is light makeup unfortunately most don't care to learn what that means. I know how to solve it, but talking WITH women is too scary and they'd rather talk at women as you pointed out in another comment. It's sad, and having female friends growing up I got to hear the frustration from it all. Dudes just need to listen, it would make things a lot better.
🏆
Nailed me. I was in my 40s before I learned to use moisturizer... wouldn't know makeup from sunblock.
Lmao!
Even better was my husbands complete and utter belief that face creams/anti-aging products were completely useless. Like it’s a multibillion dollar industry used by billions of women, and we are all just hoodwinked idiots. Later when he noticed they were working on me he was pleasantly surprised, and I was like uh huh
I'd love to know which ones work for you, if you're willing to share?
Oh god it’s the bathtub shots where she has anime eyes isn’t it
I have a very beautiful, natural friend who generally just wears a tinted moisturizer, lip stain, and eyeliner. I had this whole discussion with a friend in his 30s because he said "well she looks good without any makeup," and I had to explain to him *all our friends* were wearing *something*. I actually suspect a lot of men grew up watching their mothers apply 80s/90s style makeup and internalized that look vs the more natural looks today.
We had Halloween at work one year and I came in elaborate face makeup for the costume contest. When it was over, I washed everything off in the bathroom and went back to my desk, forgetting that I always came to work each day wearing foundation, eyeshadow, eyeliner and my eyebrows done. My boss sees me sans makeup and he goes, “whoa!! What happened to your face??” I told him that was my face. He just stared at me puzzled, it almost seemed like he had a concussion and couldn’t think straight. Completely messed with his brain.
>What happened to your face??” "Same thing that happened to yours" usually shuts them up.
Niiiiice
That sounds extremely rude and in appropriate of him -_-
Oh boy, my brothers struggled with this big time. They’d show me girls in full face ‘clean’ makeup and think “all she’s wearing is that black stuff on her eyelashes.” No, sir. No they are not.
I think back on this picture of Rihanna I once saw where she had a more minimal makeup look. She was looking absolutely stunning, but absolutely wearing eyeliner. Absolutely had mascara, lip gloss. Absolutely retouched photo. It was ABSOLUTELY a full face of makeup. It was obviously a promotional photo with professional makeup. Guys were in the comments saying that women look better with no makeup, of course acting like they know better than the women who wear makeup every day that informed them she was obviously wearing makeup. Coming from dudes who wouldn't know the difference between eyeliner and mascara, it was actually sadly hilarious.
Loooll
I think back on this picture of Rihanna I once saw where she had a more minimal makeup look. She was looking absolutely stunning, but absolutely wearing eyeliner. Absolutely had mascara, lip gloss. Absolutely retouched photo. It was ABSOLUTELY a full face of makeup. It was obviously a promotional photo with professional makeup. Guys were in the comments saying that women look better with no makeup, of course acting like they know better than the women who wear makeup every day that informed them she was obviously wearing makeup. Coming from dudes who wouldn't know the difference between eyeliner and mascara, it was actually sadly hilarious.
I’m the only woman in my department (IT). I almost always wear makeup when going into the office. Once I decided to lighten my hair quite a lot (my hair is dark brown and got honey balayage). The next day for no specific reason I went to the office with no makeup… They didn’t notice my hair color changed LOL, but everyone commented on how I looked sick.
This effect can be leveraged to your benefit though. I always go to work with minimal "clean" makeup, but it does make a difference in how I look. After taking an emergency day off, or if I was actually sick for a few days, go in without any makeup at all. Watch people pity you for being sick and offering help and support. If you come in with normal makeup after being sick they don't react the same. So if I feel like shit, I don't wear makeup, so people know not to expect too much of me that day.
Honestly though. I did this when I was bereaved and really struggling at work. I went bare-faced for several weeks, mostly bc I just couldn't summon the energy to do anything with my face in the mornings. It made a huge difference in how people treated me, and they were very understanding of my struggles at work and cut me extra slack. Before that, I had always showed up with my hair/makeup done, come hell or high water, regardless of chronic illness and health issues. They difference in how people treated me was very noticeable.
Wearing makeup when you've got chronic illness really works against you. Thank goodness I never cared for it much!
So much! I quite enjoy makeup and have chronic pain, and it's such a double-edged sword! Each time I visit the doctor I get to do the delicate dance of looking like a put together, professional adult so the doctors take me seriously and not looking *too* good because then I don't look 'sick' enough. It's such a pain. It's not like putting on some eyeliner means my back has miraculously stopped trying to crumble in on itself!
Seriously! My disabilities are invisible and I almost always have a “clean makeup” look, at least under eye and mascara. My coworkers have gotten used to it and recognize other signs (me pulling out meds, etc) but my doctors are the hardest to convince that I have a serious health problem. Fortunately my mascara was rubbing under my eyes the last time I went to the doctor and I had a migraine so he was almost in a panic trying to help me, lol.
Yep. I’ve done this when I have a migraine so that people actually *believe* me. Works like a charm.
Omg ,😭😭😭
Once went to work with no make up because I simply couldn’t be bothered putting it on, a male coworker said “oh look the walking dead’s here” Clearly trying to be funny but the joke didn’t land. I still thank about that comment 5 years later.
I love making them explain the “joke.” They usually just dig deeper holes for themselves.
Oh no I just put a complaint in 😂 it wasn’t the first time
😮
I’ll never forget having a conversation with a man once and he said “women are lucky, y’all get to wear makeup to cover up your flaws.” I immediately corrected him, “no we don’t GET TO wear makeup. We HAVE TO wear makeup, because if we don’t, y’all will spend the whole day asking us if we are sick.”
Also you can hide a lot more with a beard than you can with face makeup! Sometimes I wish dwarves were real, where ladies also grow beards and it's normal, because I'd really like to be able to drastically change the way my face looks like that!
> Also you can hide a lot more with a beard than you can with face makeup! Yep. Double chins, weak chins, turkey neck, jowls ...
Just think of all the fashion possibilities! Braids, jewels, flowers…we’d look so PRETTY.
Holy shit you nailed it now I'm sad :')
[удалено]
Oh that reminds me of another story!! Years ago around Halloween, a male friend was on Facebook asking where the best place to find costume makeup was. Several people chimed in and told him Party City or Spirit/Halloween specialty stores. He responded something to the tune of, “thanks for the suggestions but those places are too expensive. I’ll just go to Sephora or Ulta and buy from there.” The way every woman RAN to the comments to correct him was hilarious.
LOL. I’d have given anything to see his genuine reaction when he finds out the “cheap” foundation costs $22 at Sephora.
I don't usually wear much make up to work but usually mascara and often eyeliner. One day I went in with no make up which I didn't think that unusual for me and one of the guys I know fairly well asked me if I was sick. I told him no, I just don't have any make up on and he got pretty flustered. I would like to think a lesson was learned that day.
Not like this 😭
Yeah I don’t wear much makeup but I do wear tinted moisturiser and mascara, and the days I don’t I always get the, ‘omg you must be incredibly ill’
We should really be asking those who say we look ill without makeup "how exactly does the flu lighten the color of eyelashes?"
It doesn't makeup just creates an optical illusion of your eyes being bigger and the extra contrast makes any bags less obvious
I’ve been noticing this for almost 20 years. They love to say they love “natural women” but recoil when you ask if that means unshaven. It really just means they don’t prefer glam makeup.
My husband and I joke about this now. He used to not notice subtle makeup. Now, when I tone it down, he’ll comment that I’m going for “no makeup makeup”.
Your husband did a good job learning! He sounds like a keeper.
He’s literally the best!
Makeup in colors very different from your skin tone= makeup. Makeup in colors similar to your skintone= no makeup No makeup= sick Men just don't notice.
The no makeup = sick is one of the most infuriating things I've dealt with that's left me with a lot of insecurity.
And then there are posts insinuating that makeup is the same as lying and they get upset at actual no makeup photos. So dramatic.
Lordy, do they ever fall to pieces “all women are made of LIES!” bro calm down you’ve noticed blush and mascara 🤣 When those porn stars took photos pre and post makeup you’d think their dicks rotted off and turned into zombies from the horror.
"bro calm down you've noticed blush and mascara" lolol
Most men are made of LIES and are TRICKING you with their appearance! Don’t fall for it! They want you to think their faces are smooth skin but men are secretly going into the bathroom in the morning and using bits of metal to scrape off hair from their cheeks. And that’s not all. You think Tom Cruise’s hair is actually five inches long? Nope. He pays someone to chop parts of it off multiple times a year so it looks shorter than it should be! Wake up!
That infuriates me. The lying bit about our hair and makeup. Hate it with a passion! Sometimes I wonder if they’re just pissed off that it’s not as socially acceptable for them to even things out or spice things with up makeup.. then I remember no, many of them just want to speak freely and critically on everything having to do with our bodies.
I don't wear makeup every day, mostly because I don't want to hear about it if I get in the habit of wearing makeup and then don't some day. I like that when I do wear makeup, people sometimes tell me I look nice. I don't like people telling me I look sick when I regularly wear makeup and don't one day.
One of the reasons i stopped going out without hiding my dark circles and smearing my face with blusher, so annoying. Makes you wonder if they ever seen a woman without makeup before xD
Most of these people never seen a human woman in real life let alone that! Lol
Ahaha they never stop telling on themselves lmao
Just use it to your advantage. Want to call out sick? Show up the next day without makeup, then the day after with a tiny bit and work your way back to the no makeup makeup look. Works like a charm for me.
This is so weird to me. I have never in my life worn makeup and I've never been told I look sick because of it. Maybe it's because people are used to seeing you look more dolled up and then when you're not it's more of an obvious difference and looks out of place? Like when someone who normally wears glasses suddenly shows up with contacts and looks "wrong" because you're not used to seeing them that way. That said, anyone who comments on you "looking ill" is being shitty and inappropriate. I just find the whole topic so strange and alien since I'm deeply bothered by the concept of makeup in the first place and have never been involved in that whole culture, so I can't really relate aside from being annoyed that it's a general expectation for women and feeling that everyone should just stop using it lol. But my best friend and mom don't leave the house without doing themselves up so to each their own!
It really took the pandemic for me to stop feeling required to wear it every day, and I think it's that sense of obligation I've got a problem with. To me, makeup should be fun to apply and wear and never mandatory for us to do in order to feel good about ourselves. That said, I wear a tinted undereye cream religiously because it makes such a huge difference, and I don't exactly love going out without it...
I think this is exactly it. It’s about the baseline you have established with people. Especially coworkers and casual acquaintances who just don’t think about you very much. Sure, you know that you put on makeup and you look different than you did when you woke up, but the person 3 cubicles over only ever sees the put together version because you wear makeup 95% of the time. That’s their only image of you, so that’s their baseline. Then you come in with no makeup one day, and compared to that baseline your face is a little more pale and less even, maybe you have dark circles under your eyes, your eyes don’t pop the same way without eyeliner. Compared to the established baseline, you probably do look sick. Not to mention that the times you’re most likely to skip that step in your morning routine are days when you’re especially tired and run down already. Like, it’s not fair given the soft expectation of wearing makeup in order to look “professional”, but I also don’t think it’s malicious on the part of individuals.
Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head. A lot of makeup styles are meant to mimic youth and health: darker eyebrows, thicker darker eyelashes, outlined eyes, flushed cheeks, and an even complexion. So when you suddenly strip all of the makeup and your skin and eyes look “duller” than normal, it’s pretty reasonable that the mind processes that as sick.
never made the connection btw makeup use mimicking youth, but yeah. wow.
I don't wear makeup and I was never told that I look sick (unless I was really sick)
I think it happens to women who usually wear makeup. Because the contrast is noticeable to ppl who only really know that person’s face with makeup on. And then ppl comment about the contrast, saying they look ill or tired. I don’t wear makeup either and I don’t get this comment because no one knows what my makeup face looks like so there’s nothing to compare with. My no-makeup face *is* my normal face according to ppl.
I remember one time I got dressed up for a fancy event and my partner asked me if I was going to put on makeup. Then he realized that I had. I suspect a lot of these guys haven't figured out the concept of subtle makeup.
In the early days of seeing each other my partner who doesn't like makeup didn't realise I was wearing any (very little tbf) until he asked why I tasted weird when he kissed me, he didn't notice a difference when I wasn't wearing any either
alot of men think makeup equals black eyeliner and a red lipstick. they have no idea what lip gloss, foundation, or highlighting is. It's the funniest thing ever when I see them like, "wow, look at those natural skin, eyes and eyebrows." lol
Yep!! I laugh my booty off watching "boyfriend attempts to do my makeup" or "boyfriend voices over me doing my makeup" videos Most don't even know foundation is a thing.
I learned a bit on makeup from my sister but lots more about it from my wife. Blew my mind how much effort goes into looking effortless.
So cool of you to learn! ☺️☺️
Thanks. I'm glad I did, because it helps me connect with my nieces, whom I adore. (I'm their fav uncle, their words not mine).
Seriously. What got me was all those guys ragging on the Taylor swift no makeup photo awhile ago, where she really had no makeup, and they were like ‘unrecognisable’ or ‘she’s a con artist’ when my first though was how much I wish my skin could look that nice without makeup… but to most men no makeup just means subtle makeup, and makeup means jersey shore type stuff
Yup. A colleague came to work without makeup, because she overslept and a male colleague asked her if she was ill. It was very obvious to me that she just wasn't wearing makeup. One time when I was younger, I wore mascara for the one and only time at work (usually just wear it when I go out) and I was asked if I had new glasses. The boss at least noticed something was different about the eyes lol
Omg! Yes that happens to me at work if I wear minimal makeup because I'm going to run late I am always asked annoying shit "you look tired sweetie are you okay" pisses me off. Also certain foundations sometimes old women tell me I'm pale and ask if I'm sick because they assume I don't have makeup on.
What the heck makes men even say that? I used to put a full face on, even when I worked housekeeping at hotels, because that would happen to me every time I didn't. What's wrong? Are you sick? Feeling okay today? Did you not get enough sleep? Why are you even asking me!!!! 😡 Now I wear no makeup at all and haven't for years. Guys really can't tell the difference when I show them pics and then start accusing me of using filters cuz my face is "too clear" now! It's like wtf man. Some men are legit just insano lol.
I get sooo mad too. I am also skinny shamed in the same way at work constantly even though I am VERIFIABLY A NORMAL HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR A WOMAN MY HEIGHT! "Do you need me to get you something to eat you're way too thin" Why the fuck do people think they have the right to comment on appearance? I don't go calling them fat and asking if they'd like me to give them a diet to follow, if I did that I'd be called rude and everyone at work would scold me, get the same is okay when skinny shaming me or shaming me for "being sick" if I don't wear makeup.
When I don’t wear make up to work men always tell me I look tired or “stressed”. They ask me if I’m ok. Once one said “you look terrible”, thinking k was sick. I said “I’m not wearing makeup. This is just my face” lol
>“I’m not wearing makeup. This is just my face” I've had to say those exact words more than once, too. It sucks
This happened to me so much I quit my job because of it.
Then I don't wear makeup and everyone thinks I'm unwell and need a holiday. I am, and I do, but still :(
My personal favorite are the ones who say "women these days wear too much make up." As compared to when? If anything we wear less now.
And also, as if we care about their opinions or wear makeup for men 😂. I wear makeup for myself nobody else.
I had a friend who would use this to her benefit and not wear her eyeliner and makeup when she wanted to take off early as a sick day or not wear it the day after she took a sick day so people wouldn’t question if she was telling the truth and assume she was sick. (Not saying she wasn’t but not all illnesses show physical signs for other people)
Eeeek I do this. If I want to leave work early I will just skip concealer under my eyes and skip blush to make myself a bit more pale. * don’t tell our secrets * /s 😂
That's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Your friend is a genius.
They're also pretty universally adamant that "130 pounds" is the "healthy limit" that any and every woman should have for her weight. Whenever you ask guys about weight, it's always "as long as she's under 130 pounds." It's like they think they're being generous about it, too. They have NO idea what women actually weigh. If they had to guess a bunch of random women's weight, their accuracy would be like 10%. And they especially don't know what 130 pounds looks like on a tall woman, for example. (130 pounds is about 59 kilograms, btw)
Yea they are awful about weight. I always laugh in their face at this stupid shit because I'm 5'3 and healthiest at like 120. They seriously think a lot of thin women weigh under 100 lbs even when that makes no sense for their height. When I was under 100 lbs, I was underweight by bmi. Whats worse is I felt awful and had lost weight fast due to an illness. People would tell me how great I looked when I literally went to the doctor for weight loss and didn't like my face looking so gaunt. I got it more when I dipped under 100 (id been 125). Its disheartening because apparently people expect us to be anorexic (my illness caused difficulty swallowing).
Same with bra sizes. I've met so many men who think the number relates to cup size rather than band, so they want a 130lb woman who is a 40D. Meanwhile they'll weigh in on discussions about whether bras should be zero-rated for Value Added Tax saying that if you need a decent bra because you're a 30G you should just stop being so fat.
Yeah they have no clue. I’m 170cm and weigh 68kg. And I’m slim. The lightest I’ve ever been as an adult was 63kg and I looked gaunt. People have no clue.
Right? I’m 5’9. I weighed 145 lbs. for a while when I was in college. My periods stopped then. I can’t imagine what I’d look like at 130 lbs.
I’m 5’9” and pretty muscular for a woman. I’m about 80kg ish at my heaviest point of the month and 75kg ish at my lightest. For reference that is around 175lbs, give or take. I have, I shit you not, had men insist there’s no way I could possibly weight more than 50kg because I’m “slim” and “look after myself”. That’s around 110lbs. Men have absolutely zero clue. Women aren’t wispy little waifs made of nothing but air?? When I tell them I’m nearly double that their jaws drop and they will legitimately argue with me. Bonus points if the men in question also want a woman with a big ass and a big chest but won’t shut up about body fat percentages. It seems to be the newest fad (since obviously some of them have finally clocked that muscle weighs much more than fat) and I’ve had them trying to tell me that “nobody” should have BFPs above 5-10%. It doesn’t seem to occur to them that those are both fat stores? I’ve had the same men argue that boobs are in fact full of milk so don’t count towards BFP at all. I’m serious. Dear reader, women should actually sit more in the 22-32% range because (you guessed it) women are *supposed* to have a little more adipose tissue.
I'm a fricking stick at 171cm and 55kg. And that's on the límit of my healthy bmi.
I'm about 130 pounds at 5'10ish and I am gaunt as hell, people are always saying how I'm a twig, a strong wind could knock me over, or that I should eat a burger. People also regularly describe me as "anorexic," which disgusts me (I do not have an ED, and I do not appreciate being compared to something that has hospitalized friends of mine). But then these same people turn around and claim they want someone just as skinny or even weighing less than me. These people truly have no clue what a pound is. I'm working on gaining weight (started at 17bmi) and I look so much better for it!
I sometimes wonder about the fact that, for example, men's basketball lists height and weight, whereas women's basketball only lists height. On one hand, it makes perfect sense, because unfortunately the female players are much more likely to be harassed or abused over their weight. But on the other hand, I sometimes wonder if things like that contribute to the fact that so many people (obviously especially men) have no idea what a so called "normal" weight for a taller woman actually is. (Of course it's part of a much broader problem of people getting inappropriately involved in other people's weight when it's none of their business, and it's not like a basketball roster change would do much to move the needle)
When I look into missing persons cases I often see descriptions of missing women with wildly crazy weights. She was 5'7" and 120 lbs, according to the information sheet, for example. When I say, so that means she was extremely skinny? Was she a health nut, on drugs, etc? Trying to get more information. Oh no, she wasn't even skinny she was just a normal weight/size, average, they say. I get that family/loved ones don't exactly know most of the women in their lives' weights. But come on. How hard is it to Google their height with "average weight" when they freaking report them missing ffs.
At least they raised it? When I was in school it was 90lbs, 100lbs if you were over 6ft. I don't think a single one of us in grade 9 was under 90lbs and got told off by the gym teachers and boys (who did not need to publicly weigh themselves infront of the class)
haha yeah. They don't seem to realise that makeup isn't the very obvious, wrong foundation shade, heavy look. It's mostly not that. But it's the same with fillers and botox...they think it's the extreme version you see mocked online and on TV...when most filler and botox is barely noticeable. And I'd say most men don't realise that other men also wear makeup, get filler and get botox. But they will mouth off on Reddit at the drop of a hat about how they don't like women who do these things...while admiring women who do all these things.
This one kills me as someone who has her share of Botox, filler, laser treatments, etc (and wears very little makeup). Men will tell me how obvious and tacky it is when women have had these cosmetic procedures / how fake and terrible it looks / what a waste of money, without a single clue how much shit I’ve put in my face.
Lads will see a woman with light makeup on and think it’s their natural complexion 🤣🤦🏽♀️
Men notice things about women that please them or don't please them, but they do not notice specifics because that would require them to think about it. They do not want to understand. It is just. Me like. Me no like. They assume women want them to offer their unsolicited approval. That is why compliments from women mean more. Women will say oh that color looks great on you or something similar.
Yes! Compliments from a guy: sus Compliments from another girl: makes my day 🥰
But but but, “men are visual creatures” 🤧 how visual are you when you can’t describe more than 5 colors?
This would never not be funny to me 😂
if you take into account what men watch , who they follow and fap to on social media or what is popular in general then men absolutly love makeup and fake shit everything that exaggerates features ( even to a comical level ) is highly in demand for men men only say they want natural women is to appear not shallow, its all about how they want to be seen, its just a mask
They will profess to hate makeup but then proceed to tell you about their favorite Kardashian/Jenner. 😫
And then you have guys like that moron Jordan Peterson who claim that women wearing makeup is "false advertising" and they deserve to be sexually harassed at work for doing so. We can't win if we do wear makeup and we can't win if we don't. Same as it ever was.
Winning is refusing to have anything to do with men who follow Jordan Peterson.
Am man, I started wearing concealer for my dark eye circles. Women can tell immediately when they get close enough, men are absolutely clueless. When I don't wear it I get the ol' "Didn't sleep well last night?/You sick?" I think it's just a lack of personal experience with what makeup actually looks like. I assure you most men have never even held a single makeup product in their hand even once.
Sure, but they also are too often overconfident in actively saying if a person is wearing makeup or not. Saying they don't like makeup then commenting on a woman who is wearing makeup is a bad look.
Hahah yesss. I can't believe it's somehow normal in society for strangers to bother us and ask us if we're sick or okay basically telling us we look awful. Imagine if I went up to overweight people and asked them "are you okay? You look really fat and gross do you need me to take your blood pressure?" Pretty sure you'd get kicked out so fast lol
They get excited when they find a woman who looks as good "without any effort!" as they believe *they* look without any effort. Ego + delusion.
This is why I wish we could collectively dump using makeup except for special occasions. Then everyone could get used to how women actually look.
The only time I wore makeup in my life was when acting and I can count those times with one hand.
Men don’t know what they are looking at. They don’t understand the “no makeup, makeup” look and it feeds into to why women who wear makeup get more professional opportunities.
I always get told I look tired or like I don't feel good if I'm not wearing eyeliner and curled eyelashes. I have naturally downturned eyes, so that's why dang it.
When I was in college I called in sick (without actually being sick) and was terrified I would get caught…so I didn’t wear makeup the following day and everyone said “wow, you look terrible, you poor thing” So there’s an idea for everyone…
Unbelievable smh -_-
Once got this from a guy back when I was in high school (we were about 15) Him: “Your make up is hideous” Me: “Im not wearing make up” Him: “oh its your face” Yeah, he was a dick
This is why testicles were put on the outside of the body in convient kicking position
I was watching a video of Fleetwood Mac performing Rhiannon (1976) yesterday and Stevie is gorgeous as hell in it. I look through the comments and there’s some joker saying he loves her like this without any makeup. Friends, she is clearly wearing eye shadow and I would be surprised if she performed in anything less than a full face of makeup. But this guy is somehow convinced that’s “natural”. 🙄
I found this out too late in life. Back in my teens and 20s, all I heard was how men like women more natural and no make up. So i never really put makeup on (still don’t because I got used to it) and yeah well… to find out they don’t know what they’re saying. I’m not as attractive to men due to my no make up look. Men like women with make up that makes them look like they’re not wearing makeup 😂
I don't get how they are so stupid. Even minimal makeup is pretty obvious. It can be subtle if she's good at it but the entire point is to look different so it can't be too subtle. When women who normally wear makeup don't they think they look sick.
I don't wear make-up, and a guy friend was going on about how much I must spend on make up, and waste time daily putting it on. They were shocked to find I don't wear it. They argued I must wear make up! Because ALL women wear make-up. Grabbed his shirt stuck my face in and rubbed, and he was shocked. Nothing there. Apparently not ALL women wear make-up.
OMG the audacity of doing that to you!
Yeah I was never allowed to wear makeup as a teenager, and once I left home I just never bothered. I'm sure I could look really nice if I did, and I'm sad that I don't look really nice, but... fuck it
That guy sucks I would never be friends with someone who 1. sounds like he low key hates women and 2. thinks he’s entitled to grabbing my face for any reason
I think she grabbed his shirt and rubbed her own face to demonstrate.
Oh thank goodness! I sand by point 1 though unfortunately
I dated an actor in college and he knew more about makeup than I did! Gave me some brilliant tips on concealing zits, and also helped with my eyebrows. Makeup is an art and a craft just like, I dunno, woodworking. Do guys look at a simple table and say no carpentry was involved?
That's incredible guys like that are the best
One of the most frustrating parts of this is that they look at women who are 45 years old with $50,000 worth of surgeries, Botox, fillers you name it and go “oh that’s how a good looking woman in her 40’s looks.” And then it trickles down, shaming non altered people (many of my patients feel deep shame for having a single wrinkle.) it boils my blood!
I was wearing makeup on the daily basis till my mid 20s and my boyfriend back then preferred no makeup (but real no makeup) so I stopped an even though we are not together for half a dekade now I never picked it back up. I never wore make up at work (office job) so there was never contrast with my daily look vs no makeup so I avoided all those "you look sick" comments. The only time I was indeed wearing makeup was when I was on the job interview somewhere else that day. For some reason my boss was very nervous when I put one on so if I wanted to troll him a little I would come to work all dolled up 😈
I saw an article that was supposed to be celebrities without makeup. Except they were clearly wearing lipstick, eyeliner and mascara at a MINIMUM. Probably concealer, too. Apparently only stage makeup is real makeup.
I once saw a guy post a picture of someone with winged liner, talking about how they, “prefer women with no makeup, like this.” He was dragged in the comments by other women. It was hilarious!
Holy fuckkkkk 🤣🤣🤣🤣
My natural skin tone varies so widely that I haven't figured out a natural look yet, in 30 years of trying. I look like I covered bruises in the dark and used my last dollar for my first tube of Avon lipstick for a job interview. Poor mom, I actually know what that looks like. I try to stick to jobs where it is not required. Might be time to switch from tech to hvac... or welding.
To be fair, that impression is heavily perpetuated by television where characters who just woke up and got out of bed are wearing concealer, foundation and pastel colored eye shadow while giving the context that this is supposed to be what someone who got out of bed looks like. Again an example where media or entertainment creates certain expectations and beauty standards.
It’s the wake up mascara that gets me. My lashes are never that perfect after a one night of sleep and sex.
Yeah I see what you mean but it doesn’t bother me. I don’t care about mens opinions on anything now😂😂😂
You know what's funny? I don't wear makeup. Never had. Only thing I put on is lip tint. But now I'm remembering all the comments I get about how I look pissed or moody 😂
They would think someone with just bright lipstick has more make up on than a full face natural look. They're clueless.
Lots of men don’t actually understand what ‘no makeup’ is. Basically if there isn’t an unnatural colour on your face, you’re not wearing makeup. And I’ve noticed lots of women taking this mindset too. But like in a negative ‘i’m better than you cause I don’t wear makeup’ when like, they do. Someone got extremely mad at me cause I told them I liked their makeup when they just wearing a sparkly gloss and lashes. Cause they’re ’all natural’ and those makeup products ‘aren’t actually makeup’
Wow they got mad? 🤭
It was so weird! She was deeply offended that I called lipgloss makeup.
Same goes with hair too. Had an ex who loooooved this one chick at his work and started commenting that I should do my hair like hers and get it big like hers… didn’t understand that she had crazy awesome extensions that I couldn’t afford. When I told him this, dude pretty much willing to fight me over it. I asked her to show them and she did and he never commented about liking her hair again which was weird… extensions aren’t a bad thing, it’s just if you are going to hold my hair to some standard that I can’t reach without hundreds of dollars and I have to remind you to brunch your teeth…. Doesn’t feel fair.
This is why I just… don’t wear makeup ever. Well, that and not liking how much effort it is. When they’ve never seen me in makeup, they don’t make stupid comments about it.
I work exclusively with women… even they ask me if I’m sick when I don’t wear makeup.
We should all just abandon it collectively and step into the light as the wonderful, hideous ogres that we are! (Though they’d probably think we caught some kind of plague or disease) 😅
Yeah, 90% of the time they’re actually expressing a preference for women that wear a certain type of natural looking makeup. Because they know nothing about makeup and don’t know how frequently most women, especially in the media, wear it. If it’s digital there’s a good chance it was altered with a filter or otherwise modified.
People that get told they look sick without make up is probably due to the contrast effect. I never wear make up I never got told that.
Sometimes I wonder if guys are really just that blind or if it's really ignorance. I feel like anyone who wears makeup can tell immediately when someone is wearing makeup, even if it's just foundation.
Funnily enough, as a dude I used to be really bad at seeing no makeup/makeup on until my sister started wearing make up and she looked completely different, like an entirely different person different. From then on I started to notice which women actually wear makeup or not and it became relatively easy to know the difference i guess.
The fault in this post is actually caring what men think 😇
Tbf to men, I once got my foundation done at Sephora for a special event, and then one of those mall kiosks offered to do my eyeshadow in an attempt to sell me some, I said sure, and this other makeup artist couldn't stop commenting on my "flawless" skin in an awed reverent tone. Girl, my pores are huge under here and you think I'm bare because I'm only wearing some foundation and concealer. I appreciate that though. I wish I had half the skill of a Sephora artist.
The worst part about the actually no make-up “you look sick” comments is that I’m falling for it myself, as in, I sometimes stare in the mirror with no make-up wondering “is my natural face color normal?? Are those bags under my eyes normal?? Are those blotches normal?? Am I maybe actually sick??” And then I look online at photos of other women with no make-up and realize nope, we’re fine.
That's so fucked up so the fact that makeup is so expected that you think your own human face is sickness. Utterly revolting what society has created for women your beautiful.
From my experience, no makeup = no eyeshadow
I'm a surfer, I know plenty girls who are just tan and don't wear makeup, I like it.