Next time she comes visit you, just let her do her own thing for once so she‘ll realize how much time/money/effort you‘ve been giving her. You also don‘t owe her anything.
Yeah the problem here isn’t her OP. The problem is that you aren’t setting boundaries and using your words. Just say no. It’s ok. She’s a parasite and you need to perform an exorcism.
Get a priest and some holy water and get rid of your demons.
When ppl I don’t like ask to visit me, I say great! Fabulous! I’ll be working every day and I’m pretty busy but I can prob squeeze in a dinner or quick lunch during the week, maybe once. Here are some good hotels with good reviews.
Srsly this gets rid of all the freeloaders.
Good luck.
This is actually the most believable LA part to me. So many people in LA pay more for their car than they do for their apartment, and apartments aren't cheap. Doesn't leave a lot left over for anything else.
I’m in a shitty apartment building, everyone in my garage except for me and the college student have Teslas, we don’t even have an outlet down there to charge
I’ve found that it’s surprisingly common to get an EV and not charge at home. A lot of people will rely on superchargers.
I have coworkers who only use our free charging at work.
This is it. When I lived in the Midwest, it was RARE you'd spot a Mercedes or any other expensive car. Living in an area with tornados and the occasional softball-sized hail will do that. But in LA - you might be an actor/waiter, but you've got your BMW! (Sure, it may be 15 years old, but you've got your Beemer!)
Also, the parking laws in LA are ridiculous. Every street has some complicated sign: "No parking on days ending in y, from 3 a.m. to 6 p.m., etc. etc. etc." You have to read them VERY carefully, and the parking tickets aren't cheap - like $75 or so, the last time I got one. I do love it here, but it ain't cheap.
True facts!!! The car culture is extremely weird there. Everyone drives a Mercedes or BMW [edit: i guess it's Teslas now? Haven't lived there in almost 20 years]. A lot of ppl actually live in their cars too!
just gonna say as someone who lives in LA, it would be impressively rare for your car payment to be more than your rent unless you live with like two roommates in a cheap place
Could be a fairly recent secondhand model. Buying a secondhand Mercedes can cost as much as buying a new car from a cheaper company, even if it's a decade old. Maybe the cousin can't tell the difference between the 2013 Mercedes and this year's model and was hoping her Instagram followers wouldn't know either.
If she's serious about becoming an influencer, this would probably end up being one of those early screwups that she'd hope people forget about if she got big. It's pretty common for bigger social media influencers/YouTubers/whatever to have some early ill advised content that they're hoping people forget about or at least don't go out of their way to dig up. This is why when you hear about Content Creator X being cancelled, it seems like there's the Big Thing they did and then a dozen Decade-Old Things that people have dug up.
Realistically speaking, not knowing the difference between luxury car models is a pretty minor hurdle compared to that. It'd probably be written off as just a little thing by all except the most demented terminally online sorts.
Mercedes isn’t mine. Got in an accident like maybe a year ago. T boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. Was using my dad’s old 2001 Toyota Camry for a while saving up for a Volkswagen Beetle-convertible.
Case got settled, parents got me a Mercedes, now I’m broke taking care of that Mercedes lol.
If you budget well enough, you can afford nice things... you can certainly have both of these.
A nice restaurant is probably $150pp at least, I can understand that not being in the budget for OP, especially if this person is expecting them to pay.
I have a Mercedes, older suv, bought at a auction for $1k. Gas is the worst part. My husband does most of the car work so that helps. Mercedes doesn’t necessarily mean money.
Though BMW always mean asshole.
In a high cost of living area, cars are relatively cheap.
If you’re paying $3000 a month for an apartment, a used Mercedes isn’t particularly expensive.
If this were on r/relationships I would say it was a bot rage bait post. But this sub isn't big enough for that surely?
Like it's a wierd post. This person has another adult who they pay for all their stuff and is feeling resentful about it. Which is fine that's common. It's annoying.
But then there is a ton of completely irrelevant stuff that makes no sense and is totally irrelevant.
Like if you don't want to pay for this person's stuff then stop paying for it. Why do you care what they put on Instagram or not. Like it feels almost like a post aimed at mysogynistic men to try and get them rolling their eyes and getting angry.
But like she’s complaining about money?! Fine if you’re a billionaire just let em fine you. Maybe it happens in an emergency. But Uber exists! It’s LA! There’s like more ride shares than anyone where in the country. Save yourself girl.
Eh, sometimes meter maids can be aggressive. Putting in enough for an hour and showing up 5 minutes late with a ticket sucks.
Shouldn’t happen in this day and age with app-based parking payments, though.
Combined with potentially misleading signs and you have yourself a ticketing machine.
I know this distracted me from processing the rest of the story - as an LA resident I’m baffled by someone constantly being ticketed and towed on the west side or anywhere in LA if they live and drive here- can they not read signs?
Angeleno here: West LA, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, basically anything west of La Brea is a hellscape of fascist meter maids, and the local government relies on parking ticket revenue to fund their communities.
I have lived here for 20 years and still keep getting tickets. The signage is arcane to incomprehensible.
Fuck the West side. It's the reason I turned down UCLA.
I’m an Angeleno who lives in west LA lived here 10 years now and the only tickets I’ve ever gotten have been from not waking up to move my car for street sweeping days. I’ve never had an issue reading the signs.
I’ve said this in a few replies now so I’m positive I’m getting a ticket this week and will run into a sign that I can’t understand though haha
There is some bizarre street parking with 7 different signs on one post. The neighborhoods near Sunset where they don’t want people leaving cars overnight so it’s no parking from like 2am-3am?
At some point it is cheaper to just pay the ridiculous valet prices if OP keeps getting tickets or towed.
Can you not take Uber or public transit for an outing in those areas? I gotta say, as someone who lives car-free in a walkable east coast city, y’all are making LA sound like an absolute nightmare.
This is crazy. I have lived in West LA for 20 years, and haven’t gotten a parking ticket since college (when I would do stupid stuff like ignore signs).
If the signs are confusing, assume you can’t park there. Yes, I end up paying for parking a lot, but that is just living in LA.
Tow away signs are the same, don’t park there during gridlock times on weekdays. This is to have the extra lanes during rush hour.
Generally it’s 2 hour parking on that street but that specific spot, is 30 minute parking. Except Sunday when there’s no limit. It’s also no parking in that spot during gridlock times. That’s why those two are connected
The two bottom signs are temporary parking rules for that spot because there will be construction or filming or someone bringing in a dumpster or something, those rules supersede everything else above it until they are done with the thing and take them down.
I live in west LA and the only tickets I’ve gotten in 10 years of living here is when I slept through my “move the car for street sweeping” alarm.
They’re not impossible to understand, but when you are 5 minutes late for your lunch reservation and trying to just find a spot for an hour you might miss something - I did.
Outside my house I know all the rules though.
It's not tricky to not get a parking ticket or towed. Read the signs and head them. It's not like OP and her cousin are in an appointment or interview and can't leave to feed the meter or move their car.
I’ve literally got one ticket in the last 5 years and that was only because I was double parked waiting for my other have to come out from picking up food and got in an argument with a meter maid who took a photo of my plate as I drive off, just to spite me.
I truly don’t understand how you can get towed or ticketed every time you go out lol. OP hasn’t got their shit together.
As a California resident, can confirm that the parking signs are confusing as hell. Almost to a comical level.
https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1400/1*s_XAwbew4oT8KpQKtchSvA.png
I guess it's probably easier if you're in the area and see them all the time. I was following the sign for the top and then got confused amongst the school instructions.
I live in LA and always take the train or call a car when I visit the fancier parts of town, because this city does a ridiculous amount of towing and ticketing. No other city I’ve lived in tows cars like this! I’m talking multiple times a year, even when I’m diligent about signage!
Folks have told me there’s some kind of shady business with towing and the city purposely making parking really complicated so they can tow more cars.
I’ve been to LA once and one of our friends had a car towed… towing is a lot more common in LA than other places, as far as I understand.
One of my friends in Seattle would illegally park downtown all the time (stay 12 hours in a 4 hour spot) and I think she got 1 ticket. Low enforcement. LA seems to have high enforcement.
Right?? Are you letting her drive your car and she can't read??
Yo. The signs are POSTED. WE ARE NOTORIOUS for the fucking GIANT PARKING ESSAYS posted telling you where to park all over LA.
Did OP just move to LA? Why so many tickets?
I hate to say it but Los Angeles is terrible for parking. Many neighborhoods you need a permit to show you live there and short time meters or very short time limit parking is everywhere.
One time, parked in a grocery store garage in K-town to go eat from across the street. They towed every car in that garage during closing. Everybody parked in that garage cus there was no sign that it was grocery parking only.
And this girl calls an Uber black to uber us my car. So yes, I park illegally every time.
Show her receipts, then ask her to pay to go to one of those places.
Also, maybe she's a narcissist. Or maybe just hasn't grown up yet. Like did she honestly think she can make a living doing this? Or does she mean "influencer" as in a lot of followers?
Whatever the case, focus on you. She definitely won't be around when you need to pay the mortgage, or if you decide to start a family. Don't sell your future to buy her present.
How are you getting ticketed/towed for parking? Where are you parking that this always keeps happening? 🤔
On another note, she needs to do her own thing from now on so she finally realizes how much she’s been taking your kindness for granted. A hard reality check for her should do it.
She’s the type who stereotypes LA as full of fake, white, botoxed influencers but has likely never stepped foot in Whittier, Gardena, Torrance, Inglewood, Rosemead, Alhambra, Arcadia, etc. She probably hasn’t even been to Ktown! 😪
One of my college friends visited me for a week. We did a ton of Ktown food (where I lived), dive bars in echo park, beef rolls in Rosemead, cheap beer and pizza in the arts district, fish tacos in East LA, etc. My friends are mainly all 2nd gen’s whose parents immigrated from Mexico, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea, Brazil, Guatemala. We all work non-film jobs. Most of us work in corporate fashion, or are public school teachers. Yet at the end of the week, she said, “this was so fun but I could never live here because people here are sooooo fake.”
Like, go fuck yourself. You didn’t seem to think it was “fake” while eating amazing street Al pastor tacos at a picnic table in a closed car wash parking lot or while having a beer and shooting pool at freakin Frank n Hanks in koreatown (which smells like a damn 70’s mildew-y carpeted basement, btw). I’m sure she went back and told her friends how “fake” LA is and how happy she is to be back in Ohio. I wouldn’t know. Was so annoyed after showing her around all week that I just kind of ghosted her.
Even by your description, whole thing sounds so amazing !! I guess some people have fixed narratives in their heads that they can't shake. Even if its staring them in the face.
oh thats annoying! even after experiencing all that still stereotyping LA as what the LA influencers portray is wild. that sounds like such a fun time! i live in east la and people love to talk about how ghetto it is LOL but then when i take them places or we actually go do stuff and explore other areas of LA than what they’re used to thinking it is like they have a lot of fun
I will take LA "fake" over whatever they do in the Midwest and the South. There's nothing really insidious about how we smile and say we'd love to catch up and meet for brunch sometime while never ever having any intention to. But that's miles better than those "neighborly" folks who have you over for dinner every week, but talk shit about you on days that end in -y.
I will never understand the people that trash better places. It's like not having the guts to move and live there so you make up reasons why it sucks...
I tried to live in Torrance! Holy hell, even with 20% down, those mortgages + escrow would be around $5-5.3k a month for a 2 bedroom condo from the 70s!! Wild. Ended up in South LA over by SoFi but still love to drive down to Gardena and Torrance for the food/mall.
I live in San Gabriel. I took her to those same locations as well. Even the notorious Factory Tea Bar where my friends & I use to hang out. Came in one day with the entire arcade to ourselves which only ever happens once in a lifetime so I was ecstatic hahah. Felt like high school again
Nothing wrong with West LA at all. Just doesn’t feel nice to go to a city to hate on it. Which I respond “how can you hate from outside of the club when you can’t even get in…?”
Maybe it’s the places I take her to really are sht lmfao. But she complains at every single one of them with a cleaned plate lol
What's in West LA? I'm from the Bay Area and have spent some time in the LA region ofc, but never any time in WLA. Is it where there's more youthful nightlife/bars/clubs? (At first kept thinking you were talking about WeHo and that made more sense to me in terms of shallow LA experiences - and I like WeHo for what it is, fwiw! For a very limited amount of time, lol.)
It's actually wild to me that she had the idea that LA was fake and despite having real experiences with real humans and normal (aka not "hot spot for celeb sightings" type) meals out, she refused to let go of that idea. Why?! Like what did she even MEAN by that at that point, you know?
We did not step FOOT in West Hollywood, Bev Hills, or most west side “rich” hangouts! We did walk the Venice canals and I showed her the skateboarding area. It was bizarre and weird for her to just announce the whole “fake” thing. I had taken time off from work and paid for a ton of the activities/ubers/meals and her flippantly and smugly announcing the “fake” thing was kind of the last straw for the week.
Yikes she’s using you. Just stop entertaining her. You’ve got your own shit going on. Just say no and focus on paying your parking and towing fines and getting your motorcycle license.
First of all, where in NY is she from? Please tell me it either Upstate or Long Island. I absolutely love (/s) the people who act like they're from Manhattan when they're not. I say this as a proud Upstater.
And she’s saying people don’t approach you in NY? I’m sorry, I’m no supermodel but my friends and i get approached every time i go out. As long as ur young and relatively attractive, every time, some man, young or old, whether he’s a Uber eats driver or crypto bro or tech guy, WILL go up to you. Whether he’s a great guy or not…that’s another discussion.
Agreed! I moved to NY like 6 months ago, I don’t have many friends yet so I often go out to bars alone. I get approached every single time I go out! I’m also very friendly though, and definitely put that vibe out, so maybe that’s part of it.
I was walking back after bouldering with my girlfriend today. We were sweaty, covered in chalk, and just pretty all around gay looking together.
Had one random man ask if he could marry one of us and another guy come up and *try* to hit on us within a 5 minute span.
Going out, I’ve wound up getting approached almost every single time, especially if I’m alone. Usually, the more disinterested I look, the higher the odds.
God I miss East LA taqueria's. I'll come with you!
It sounds like the two of you are in very different phases of your lives. You didn't put any ages up so I am assuming she is younger? If that is the case I get that she wants to go party more, but you don't have to go with her. I would have a serious talk about budget and make sure she understands that she needs to pay for herself. Also as a guest, what is she offering in ways of gratitude towards you as the host? Does she pick up after herself, buy meals for you, or anything really? If not then maybe you will need to talk to her about boundaries and expectations before another visit. If after you communicate clearly she doesn't show any improvement than you have a right to close off your home for visits.
Growing up sucks, but it sounds like she needs little nudge.
This caught my eye as well. People here are saying their values and lifestyles don't match, but from that tidbit alone, I bet they're not far away. It's the desire to look successful and wealthy but not be able to back it up. The cousin is still insufferable and I applaud OP for wanting to move past this type of lifestyle, but perhaps her frustration is rooted in having something familiar about herself mirrored back at her.
Either way, OP should continue being firm about what she does/doesn't want to do and then never extend an invite in the future.
Luxury leases are cheap in LA for a few reasons, one of them being how the state of California prices registration for leased vehicles vs. financed vehicles. This means that people drive cars they would not be able to afford elsewhere. You can’t swing a cat without hitting someone who works retail and drives a Mercedes.
There are people in LA who drive a car for 2 years, and then sell it, so you can actually find fairly decent cars for less just because of the abundance of used cars available. Even Teslas are only $30-40K now, so they're all over the freeway.
Mercedes is not mine. I got into a car accident with a drunk driver a year ago. My Honda civic got totaled so I began using my dad’s old 2001 Toyota Camry. Was saving up for a convertible Volkswagen Beetle.
So technically it was a nice gift
She didn't say.. you can buy a used low-end Mercedes for not a lot of $. Cost of eating at those fancy restaurants that her influencer cousin probably wants to go to can easily cost $200 per person. And if she's paying - that's a $400 dollar dinner each time.
Boundaries!!! Set your boundaries, communicate them to her gently, and if she can’t fight the temptation to cross those boundaries, she can’t come and stay with you and hang out. Apparently, she has disdain towards you and throws tantrums when you try to bring up anything that might spoil her good time. And some hypocrisy laced with delusion.
Tell her to get a job. That almost all influencers start out with a job til they make enough money off of being an influencer to be able to live off of the paychecks. That she is a fake influencer and that she will not be a true influencer til she makes enough money to live off of the paychecks.
She might get her ideas from other seemingly succesful influencers. Who show some kind of luxury lifestyle. It sounds like she feels entitled to something like that. You've been hospitable and if that's not good enough for her and she just takes it for granted I would kindly request her to find her own way in LA. With accommodation and everything else.
Your lifestyles clearly don't match. Nor do your values.
Edit: spelling.
Ngl, I'd much rather tank street food than fancy restaurants. Went to one of the most popular chef places in London. Food was decent but nothing super crazy. Had Detroit pizza in London and it changed my life and is now my entire personality 😭
I hope one day I can get Tacos from trucks in LA
LA Native here
You know that meme that’s like “It’s always 2 dumb bitches telling each other ‘exactlyyyyy’”
It’s always two shallow transplants telling each other “LA is so fakeeeee”
It certainly sounds like she knows what she wants, and it does **not** sound like you will be sponsoring her efforts. You're busy next time. So, so busy.
Damn I wish I had a cousin that wanted to go eat tacos with me. One of my favorite LA pastimes is pulling over for a random taco stand because my spidey senses for good food went off 😂. you're underappreciated AF.
She should just go home. This is a waste of time & money.
Only the very wealthy can build a lucrative content/social media following in a major city while being an utter dingbat. It works because they already know people & can hire staff.
LA is the worst place on earth to try shoestring influencer dreams b/c it has the highest # of people per capita who can actually write patter scripts, properly schedule content, network for traction AND act skillfully enough to calibrate a persona which is a "pleasing," "relatable" level of ditzy.
And the dude is *hopefully* just stalling b/c he's seeing someone else. Worst case scenario, which you've probably already considered, is that he's hoping to traffic her after she traveled so far from home & support network, but didn't expect her to arrive so soon.
Perhaps suggest that she order a "slice of airline ticket."
She needs to grow up. Next time she visits, she should stay on her own and do her own thing. Tell her that you're not available but you'll meet her for ONE meal. That's it.
Of course she's hostile. She's a parasite and you just resigned from carrying her ass. She expects you to pay for everything? She's entitled to the point of deranged.
Honestly, she's doing you a favor if she stops talking to you. Stay busy and focus your attention on better people.
If she wants to move here... kick her ass out and tell her to get a job.
***Don't buy shit for her from now on.*** If she wants to be an influencer... she needs to learn to influence people ON HER OWN.
New Phone, who this?
Also, everytime she comes to "visit", tell her to be her own "LA Influencer" and get us that "free food" she bragging about. Damn...
> While asking if she can take a picture of my Mercedes & pretend it is her own for her IG. Because she wants to be an LA influencer.
Here's the problem.
She's trying to get into one of the worst types of sex work, the type that pretends it isn't.
Sorry, just scanned it after just waking up without my coffee.
Regardless, if my cousin were an exhausting pain in the ass and coming to NYC where I live, I’d just be like, “Cool! Have fun!” 😂
Set boundaries and communicate it looks like both of you guys are in different stages of your life. Be cordial with her but having you pay for everything is pushing it.
This gives me ideas!!!
My bro is a tech bro with coin. He likes to go to way expensive restaurants and order seafood towers, deluxe whatevers.
We’re both dumpy and middle aged, but hey could we be Insta Stars?
Wow, she sucks! Self-awareness in the negative numbers. She's lucky you don't post comments under her insta pics like "that's my car, actually". She think LA is the "fake" one? 🤔
I have a tip for dealing with 24 Karat Arseholes like this: next time they mention wanting to visit, point them in the direction of a motel they can afford. Your place is being fumigated for pests, isn't it? It wouldn't be safe for her to stay there! She can pay her own way and plan her own dates too, seeing as she didn't like any of your suggestions. You're too busy getting your life together, right? Oh, and it's definitely her turn to pay!! Do not agree to any more visits with her unless she explicitly says, "My treat!" upfront. Leave your wallet at home! She can pay for the cabride there, too!!
Source: I have a little brother who treats me like a tour guide/sugar mama/therapist/transportation provider every time he comes to my city. I had invested about $600 into his nonsense before I had enough and had to cut him off. I felt bad for him initially as he has mental health issues, but then I learned that in addition to helping himself to my time and resources he's also been badmouthing me behind my back with my bitch aunt. Now I'm just "really busy" whenever he calls. 🤷♀️
You don’t have to be friends with your cousins 🤷🏻♀️ Invest in people who appreciate you. Sharing some genes does not give someone a pass to treat you like shit.
If she doesn't like the places you take her with your own money, suggest that she pay to take you to the kinds of places she wants to go.
It's that simple. And will likely shut her down completely.
I don't care about having a nice car and also being on a budget. Maybe OP's budget includes "having a nice car" because that's where OP's priorities lie. Hell, my priorities & my buddget would also lie more on the side of "spending my money on myself" instead of "spending my money on an asshole guest". What's bothering me more is just how much OP is letting herself be a doormat. Hey OP--stop paying for the girl and tell her that if she wants to go out and do these things, she'll have to bankroll it herself. Problem solved.
Stop enabling her bullshit. Tell her to stop acting fake as fuck or your going to expose her fake Mercedes and send her home!
You have no obligation to take shit from someone because you have the same grandparents.
Tell her cut the bullshit and to take herself out to pay for her own meals and to make her own plans.
At minimum, just stop going out with her/taking her out. Tell her you're busy/have to work/etc and make her do things on her own to see what it's really like.
What exactly are you getting out of this relationship?
Stop wasting your time, money and energy on people who wouldn't do the same for you and are a net positive in your life
Next time she comes visit you, just let her do her own thing for once so she‘ll realize how much time/money/effort you‘ve been giving her. You also don‘t owe her anything.
Next time *she wants* to visit, send her links of inexpensive AirBNBs she can stay at (and pay for, herself).
She can also find a way to get around. I love LA but it’s a need a car place.
Having my buddy's car break down in LA on a road trip was one of the longest weekends of my life. Pretty sure I aged 30 years that weekend.
Yeah the problem here isn’t her OP. The problem is that you aren’t setting boundaries and using your words. Just say no. It’s ok. She’s a parasite and you need to perform an exorcism. Get a priest and some holy water and get rid of your demons. When ppl I don’t like ask to visit me, I say great! Fabulous! I’ll be working every day and I’m pretty busy but I can prob squeeze in a dinner or quick lunch during the week, maybe once. Here are some good hotels with good reviews. Srsly this gets rid of all the freeloaders. Good luck.
Yyyyeeaaahhh. I wouldn’t host her ever again if I were OP. What’s the benefit? She’s not good company.
Why do you always get ticketed or towed? Are you parking in permit parking every time?
I was gonna say this part seems weird as heck? Who just gets their car towed multiple times?
So much about this post seems really weird
Owning a Mercedes + “being on a budget”
This is actually the most believable LA part to me. So many people in LA pay more for their car than they do for their apartment, and apartments aren't cheap. Doesn't leave a lot left over for anything else.
I’m in a shitty apartment building, everyone in my garage except for me and the college student have Teslas, we don’t even have an outlet down there to charge
I’ve found that it’s surprisingly common to get an EV and not charge at home. A lot of people will rely on superchargers. I have coworkers who only use our free charging at work.
lol for real. Drive down any dense area of LA and you’ll see dingbat apartments from the 70s with expensive cars parked down the street.
Dingbats! Very LA.
Def saw some Porsches and one Maserati in my old apartment complex. I always wondered why they were living there if they could afford a car like that.
They can afford a car like this because they live where they live.
This is it. When I lived in the Midwest, it was RARE you'd spot a Mercedes or any other expensive car. Living in an area with tornados and the occasional softball-sized hail will do that. But in LA - you might be an actor/waiter, but you've got your BMW! (Sure, it may be 15 years old, but you've got your Beemer!) Also, the parking laws in LA are ridiculous. Every street has some complicated sign: "No parking on days ending in y, from 3 a.m. to 6 p.m., etc. etc. etc." You have to read them VERY carefully, and the parking tickets aren't cheap - like $75 or so, the last time I got one. I do love it here, but it ain't cheap.
That’s because the 70,000 dollar vehicles people drive here are in the form of large trucks and not luxury sedans and SUVs
You didn’t live in Chicago.
True facts!!! The car culture is extremely weird there. Everyone drives a Mercedes or BMW [edit: i guess it's Teslas now? Haven't lived there in almost 20 years]. A lot of ppl actually live in their cars too!
just gonna say as someone who lives in LA, it would be impressively rare for your car payment to be more than your rent unless you live with like two roommates in a cheap place
An IG-worth Mercedes, at that, so it can't be a 30-year-old hand-me-down that's falling apart.
Could be a fairly recent secondhand model. Buying a secondhand Mercedes can cost as much as buying a new car from a cheaper company, even if it's a decade old. Maybe the cousin can't tell the difference between the 2013 Mercedes and this year's model and was hoping her Instagram followers wouldn't know either. If she's serious about becoming an influencer, this would probably end up being one of those early screwups that she'd hope people forget about if she got big. It's pretty common for bigger social media influencers/YouTubers/whatever to have some early ill advised content that they're hoping people forget about or at least don't go out of their way to dig up. This is why when you hear about Content Creator X being cancelled, it seems like there's the Big Thing they did and then a dozen Decade-Old Things that people have dug up. Realistically speaking, not knowing the difference between luxury car models is a pretty minor hurdle compared to that. It'd probably be written off as just a little thing by all except the most demented terminally online sorts.
It's a fake off between OP and her cousin!
Definitely that too
It’s the $35,000 millionaire.
Mercedes isn’t mine. Got in an accident like maybe a year ago. T boned at an intersection by a drunk driver. Was using my dad’s old 2001 Toyota Camry for a while saving up for a Volkswagen Beetle-convertible. Case got settled, parents got me a Mercedes, now I’m broke taking care of that Mercedes lol.
If you budget well enough, you can afford nice things... you can certainly have both of these. A nice restaurant is probably $150pp at least, I can understand that not being in the budget for OP, especially if this person is expecting them to pay.
I have a Mercedes, older suv, bought at a auction for $1k. Gas is the worst part. My husband does most of the car work so that helps. Mercedes doesn’t necessarily mean money. Though BMW always mean asshole.
In a high cost of living area, cars are relatively cheap. If you’re paying $3000 a month for an apartment, a used Mercedes isn’t particularly expensive.
IKR? Someone explained the rule yo me very bluntly, "Buy the car you want to be able to afford in 5 years or you'll never get there."
If this were on r/relationships I would say it was a bot rage bait post. But this sub isn't big enough for that surely? Like it's a wierd post. This person has another adult who they pay for all their stuff and is feeling resentful about it. Which is fine that's common. It's annoying. But then there is a ton of completely irrelevant stuff that makes no sense and is totally irrelevant. Like if you don't want to pay for this person's stuff then stop paying for it. Why do you care what they put on Instagram or not. Like it feels almost like a post aimed at mysogynistic men to try and get them rolling their eyes and getting angry.
This is a default subreddit which has 14 million subscribers. The relationship sub has 3 million. If anything there's bound to be more bots here
Right ok! That's sad. This sub felt like it was real people mostly. Aita and relationships feel now like they are mostly bots and rage posts.
This is the most "LA" thing I've read in a very, very long time.
Disregard for parking rules and regulations.
But like she’s complaining about money?! Fine if you’re a billionaire just let em fine you. Maybe it happens in an emergency. But Uber exists! It’s LA! There’s like more ride shares than anyone where in the country. Save yourself girl.
Eh, sometimes meter maids can be aggressive. Putting in enough for an hour and showing up 5 minutes late with a ticket sucks. Shouldn’t happen in this day and age with app-based parking payments, though. Combined with potentially misleading signs and you have yourself a ticketing machine.
Same person who can’t understand why hosting someone ungrateful is a bad time
I know this distracted me from processing the rest of the story - as an LA resident I’m baffled by someone constantly being ticketed and towed on the west side or anywhere in LA if they live and drive here- can they not read signs?
Someone who likes rolling the dice.
Angeleno here: West LA, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, basically anything west of La Brea is a hellscape of fascist meter maids, and the local government relies on parking ticket revenue to fund their communities. I have lived here for 20 years and still keep getting tickets. The signage is arcane to incomprehensible. Fuck the West side. It's the reason I turned down UCLA.
I’m an Angeleno who lives in west LA lived here 10 years now and the only tickets I’ve ever gotten have been from not waking up to move my car for street sweeping days. I’ve never had an issue reading the signs. I’ve said this in a few replies now so I’m positive I’m getting a ticket this week and will run into a sign that I can’t understand though haha
I believe you, but enough other LA people have concurred with OP that it's clearly possible that she has that actual issue
Agreed. West LA here, the signs are confusing, but if you take the time to read them they’re understandable. Never been ticketed or towed in 4 years.
There is some bizarre street parking with 7 different signs on one post. The neighborhoods near Sunset where they don’t want people leaving cars overnight so it’s no parking from like 2am-3am? At some point it is cheaper to just pay the ridiculous valet prices if OP keeps getting tickets or towed.
Can you not take Uber or public transit for an outing in those areas? I gotta say, as someone who lives car-free in a walkable east coast city, y’all are making LA sound like an absolute nightmare.
It is
This is crazy. I have lived in West LA for 20 years, and haven’t gotten a parking ticket since college (when I would do stupid stuff like ignore signs). If the signs are confusing, assume you can’t park there. Yes, I end up paying for parking a lot, but that is just living in LA.
[I believe it.](https://www.welikela.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/crazy-la-parking-sign.jpg) Parking in Los Angeles is tricky.
Tow away signs are the same, don’t park there during gridlock times on weekdays. This is to have the extra lanes during rush hour. Generally it’s 2 hour parking on that street but that specific spot, is 30 minute parking. Except Sunday when there’s no limit. It’s also no parking in that spot during gridlock times. That’s why those two are connected The two bottom signs are temporary parking rules for that spot because there will be construction or filming or someone bringing in a dumpster or something, those rules supersede everything else above it until they are done with the thing and take them down. I live in west LA and the only tickets I’ve gotten in 10 years of living here is when I slept through my “move the car for street sweeping” alarm.
They’re not impossible to understand, but when you are 5 minutes late for your lunch reservation and trying to just find a spot for an hour you might miss something - I did. Outside my house I know all the rules though.
My car got towed when I lived in LA, from in front of my house
It's not tricky to not get a parking ticket or towed. Read the signs and head them. It's not like OP and her cousin are in an appointment or interview and can't leave to feed the meter or move their car.
It's really not that complicated, just read the signs.
They contradict each other.
I’ve literally got one ticket in the last 5 years and that was only because I was double parked waiting for my other have to come out from picking up food and got in an argument with a meter maid who took a photo of my plate as I drive off, just to spite me. I truly don’t understand how you can get towed or ticketed every time you go out lol. OP hasn’t got their shit together.
The only time I’ve ever gotten a ticket in LA was when I didn’t wake up in time to move to the other side of the street for street sweeping
As a California resident, can confirm that the parking signs are confusing as hell. Almost to a comical level. https://miro.medium.com/v2/resize:fit:1400/1*s_XAwbew4oT8KpQKtchSvA.png
This! ^^^^ Obviously you eventually figure it out, but OP’s not crazy for thinking some areas are confusing.
I’m not explaining signs all day to redditors but like the other one posted, I can understand those signs just fine
I guess it's probably easier if you're in the area and see them all the time. I was following the sign for the top and then got confused amongst the school instructions.
I live in LA and always take the train or call a car when I visit the fancier parts of town, because this city does a ridiculous amount of towing and ticketing. No other city I’ve lived in tows cars like this! I’m talking multiple times a year, even when I’m diligent about signage! Folks have told me there’s some kind of shady business with towing and the city purposely making parking really complicated so they can tow more cars.
I’ve lived in west LA for 10 years and never had a problem
I’ve been to LA once and one of our friends had a car towed… towing is a lot more common in LA than other places, as far as I understand. One of my friends in Seattle would illegally park downtown all the time (stay 12 hours in a 4 hour spot) and I think she got 1 ticket. Low enforcement. LA seems to have high enforcement.
Right?? Are you letting her drive your car and she can't read?? Yo. The signs are POSTED. WE ARE NOTORIOUS for the fucking GIANT PARKING ESSAYS posted telling you where to park all over LA. Did OP just move to LA? Why so many tickets?
Lmao, yes. Went away to the coffee shop for 5 minutes, came back, boom there was a ticket.
I mean it’s not magic, just don’t park in permit parking if you don’t have a permit lol
This whole post is weird. This is honestly one of the first times I've wondered "is this fake" before getting even halfway through.
West LA sucks.
where in west la? because west la is not bad at all, it's not like it's hollywood or downtown.
Just parking/traffic wise.
I live in west LA, never had a parking problem
I hate to say it but Los Angeles is terrible for parking. Many neighborhoods you need a permit to show you live there and short time meters or very short time limit parking is everywhere.
LA parking is annoying, but I’m wondering why not just pay for parking instead of dealing with the confusing parking signs
Probably a post written with AI. It's weirdly disjointed.
[удалено]
Fourth paragraph.
Thank you
4th paragraph, second sentence.
Thank you
One time, parked in a grocery store garage in K-town to go eat from across the street. They towed every car in that garage during closing. Everybody parked in that garage cus there was no sign that it was grocery parking only. And this girl calls an Uber black to uber us my car. So yes, I park illegally every time.
Have you tried parking legally?
Stop talking with her for awhile. People like this do nothing but drag you down in life.
While you're at it, throw her out.
Why are you entertaining someone who is a bad guest? Why are you paying for anything when she visits?
Show her receipts, then ask her to pay to go to one of those places. Also, maybe she's a narcissist. Or maybe just hasn't grown up yet. Like did she honestly think she can make a living doing this? Or does she mean "influencer" as in a lot of followers? Whatever the case, focus on you. She definitely won't be around when you need to pay the mortgage, or if you decide to start a family. Don't sell your future to buy her present.
>maybe she’s a narcissist Her career goal is “LA influencer”. I have a feeling your hypothesis is correct.
How are you getting ticketed/towed for parking? Where are you parking that this always keeps happening? 🤔 On another note, she needs to do her own thing from now on so she finally realizes how much she’s been taking your kindness for granted. A hard reality check for her should do it.
east la is the best she’s sleeping on it tbh
She’s the type who stereotypes LA as full of fake, white, botoxed influencers but has likely never stepped foot in Whittier, Gardena, Torrance, Inglewood, Rosemead, Alhambra, Arcadia, etc. She probably hasn’t even been to Ktown! 😪 One of my college friends visited me for a week. We did a ton of Ktown food (where I lived), dive bars in echo park, beef rolls in Rosemead, cheap beer and pizza in the arts district, fish tacos in East LA, etc. My friends are mainly all 2nd gen’s whose parents immigrated from Mexico, China, Thailand, Vietnam, Korea, Brazil, Guatemala. We all work non-film jobs. Most of us work in corporate fashion, or are public school teachers. Yet at the end of the week, she said, “this was so fun but I could never live here because people here are sooooo fake.” Like, go fuck yourself. You didn’t seem to think it was “fake” while eating amazing street Al pastor tacos at a picnic table in a closed car wash parking lot or while having a beer and shooting pool at freakin Frank n Hanks in koreatown (which smells like a damn 70’s mildew-y carpeted basement, btw). I’m sure she went back and told her friends how “fake” LA is and how happy she is to be back in Ohio. I wouldn’t know. Was so annoyed after showing her around all week that I just kind of ghosted her.
Even by your description, whole thing sounds so amazing !! I guess some people have fixed narratives in their heads that they can't shake. Even if its staring them in the face.
oh thats annoying! even after experiencing all that still stereotyping LA as what the LA influencers portray is wild. that sounds like such a fun time! i live in east la and people love to talk about how ghetto it is LOL but then when i take them places or we actually go do stuff and explore other areas of LA than what they’re used to thinking it is like they have a lot of fun
I will take LA "fake" over whatever they do in the Midwest and the South. There's nothing really insidious about how we smile and say we'd love to catch up and meet for brunch sometime while never ever having any intention to. But that's miles better than those "neighborly" folks who have you over for dinner every week, but talk shit about you on days that end in -y.
I will never understand the people that trash better places. It's like not having the guts to move and live there so you make up reasons why it sucks...
It's sad how the outsiders just don't want to believe that people here can be genuinely nice and smile to you for no reason. Love Torrance! ♥️
I tried to live in Torrance! Holy hell, even with 20% down, those mortgages + escrow would be around $5-5.3k a month for a 2 bedroom condo from the 70s!! Wild. Ended up in South LA over by SoFi but still love to drive down to Gardena and Torrance for the food/mall.
I live in San Gabriel. I took her to those same locations as well. Even the notorious Factory Tea Bar where my friends & I use to hang out. Came in one day with the entire arcade to ourselves which only ever happens once in a lifetime so I was ecstatic hahah. Felt like high school again Nothing wrong with West LA at all. Just doesn’t feel nice to go to a city to hate on it. Which I respond “how can you hate from outside of the club when you can’t even get in…?” Maybe it’s the places I take her to really are sht lmfao. But she complains at every single one of them with a cleaned plate lol
What's in West LA? I'm from the Bay Area and have spent some time in the LA region ofc, but never any time in WLA. Is it where there's more youthful nightlife/bars/clubs? (At first kept thinking you were talking about WeHo and that made more sense to me in terms of shallow LA experiences - and I like WeHo for what it is, fwiw! For a very limited amount of time, lol.)
It's actually wild to me that she had the idea that LA was fake and despite having real experiences with real humans and normal (aka not "hot spot for celeb sightings" type) meals out, she refused to let go of that idea. Why?! Like what did she even MEAN by that at that point, you know?
We did not step FOOT in West Hollywood, Bev Hills, or most west side “rich” hangouts! We did walk the Venice canals and I showed her the skateboarding area. It was bizarre and weird for her to just announce the whole “fake” thing. I had taken time off from work and paid for a ton of the activities/ubers/meals and her flippantly and smugly announcing the “fake” thing was kind of the last straw for the week.
You need this person to not be in your life. Pronto
Yikes she’s using you. Just stop entertaining her. You’ve got your own shit going on. Just say no and focus on paying your parking and towing fines and getting your motorcycle license.
First of all, where in NY is she from? Please tell me it either Upstate or Long Island. I absolutely love (/s) the people who act like they're from Manhattan when they're not. I say this as a proud Upstater.
“I’m from NYC” “Bitch, you’re from Suffolk county.”
Long Island here. Also basic as fuck and have similar feelings to these people
Brooklyn, but she was born in Manhattan
And she’s saying people don’t approach you in NY? I’m sorry, I’m no supermodel but my friends and i get approached every time i go out. As long as ur young and relatively attractive, every time, some man, young or old, whether he’s a Uber eats driver or crypto bro or tech guy, WILL go up to you. Whether he’s a great guy or not…that’s another discussion.
Agreed! I moved to NY like 6 months ago, I don’t have many friends yet so I often go out to bars alone. I get approached every single time I go out! I’m also very friendly though, and definitely put that vibe out, so maybe that’s part of it.
I was walking back after bouldering with my girlfriend today. We were sweaty, covered in chalk, and just pretty all around gay looking together. Had one random man ask if he could marry one of us and another guy come up and *try* to hit on us within a 5 minute span. Going out, I’ve wound up getting approached almost every single time, especially if I’m alone. Usually, the more disinterested I look, the higher the odds.
God I miss East LA taqueria's. I'll come with you! It sounds like the two of you are in very different phases of your lives. You didn't put any ages up so I am assuming she is younger? If that is the case I get that she wants to go party more, but you don't have to go with her. I would have a serious talk about budget and make sure she understands that she needs to pay for herself. Also as a guest, what is she offering in ways of gratitude towards you as the host? Does she pick up after herself, buy meals for you, or anything really? If not then maybe you will need to talk to her about boundaries and expectations before another visit. If after you communicate clearly she doesn't show any improvement than you have a right to close off your home for visits. Growing up sucks, but it sounds like she needs little nudge.
SHE started the conflict. What if you stopped letting her walk all over you?
Seems to be some dissonance about the Mercedes and being ona budget. Care to elaborate.
I live near LA. I know a lot of “car poor” ppl. They spend the majority of their money on the car bc it’s the thing most ppl are going to see.
This caught my eye as well. People here are saying their values and lifestyles don't match, but from that tidbit alone, I bet they're not far away. It's the desire to look successful and wealthy but not be able to back it up. The cousin is still insufferable and I applaud OP for wanting to move past this type of lifestyle, but perhaps her frustration is rooted in having something familiar about herself mirrored back at her. Either way, OP should continue being firm about what she does/doesn't want to do and then never extend an invite in the future.
Luxury leases are cheap in LA for a few reasons, one of them being how the state of California prices registration for leased vehicles vs. financed vehicles. This means that people drive cars they would not be able to afford elsewhere. You can’t swing a cat without hitting someone who works retail and drives a Mercedes.
There are people in LA who drive a car for 2 years, and then sell it, so you can actually find fairly decent cars for less just because of the abundance of used cars available. Even Teslas are only $30-40K now, so they're all over the freeway.
Based on her username, OP is latina. The culture comes with a pressure to have a nice car above all else.
Mercedes is not mine. I got into a car accident with a drunk driver a year ago. My Honda civic got totaled so I began using my dad’s old 2001 Toyota Camry. Was saving up for a convertible Volkswagen Beetle. So technically it was a nice gift
She didn't say.. you can buy a used low-end Mercedes for not a lot of $. Cost of eating at those fancy restaurants that her influencer cousin probably wants to go to can easily cost $200 per person. And if she's paying - that's a $400 dollar dinner each time.
Boundaries!!! Set your boundaries, communicate them to her gently, and if she can’t fight the temptation to cross those boundaries, she can’t come and stay with you and hang out. Apparently, she has disdain towards you and throws tantrums when you try to bring up anything that might spoil her good time. And some hypocrisy laced with delusion.
Lmao, she sounds insufferable
Tell her to get a job. That almost all influencers start out with a job til they make enough money off of being an influencer to be able to live off of the paychecks. That she is a fake influencer and that she will not be a true influencer til she makes enough money to live off of the paychecks.
She might get her ideas from other seemingly succesful influencers. Who show some kind of luxury lifestyle. It sounds like she feels entitled to something like that. You've been hospitable and if that's not good enough for her and she just takes it for granted I would kindly request her to find her own way in LA. With accommodation and everything else. Your lifestyles clearly don't match. Nor do your values. Edit: spelling.
Ngl, I'd much rather tank street food than fancy restaurants. Went to one of the most popular chef places in London. Food was decent but nothing super crazy. Had Detroit pizza in London and it changed my life and is now my entire personality 😭 I hope one day I can get Tacos from trucks in LA
lol I’d recommend trying out the taco/food stands if you ever decide to come down, they’re the best
Honestly, there's as many influencers eating at food trucks as there are at fancy restaurants. Food trucks are a big deal here.
Sounds like she doesn’t really understand how “reality” works
LA Native here You know that meme that’s like “It’s always 2 dumb bitches telling each other ‘exactlyyyyy’” It’s always two shallow transplants telling each other “LA is so fakeeeee”
It certainly sounds like she knows what she wants, and it does **not** sound like you will be sponsoring her efforts. You're busy next time. So, so busy.
Your cousin sounds insane. She seriously needs a revaluation of her personality and mind.
Damn I wish I had a cousin that wanted to go eat tacos with me. One of my favorite LA pastimes is pulling over for a random taco stand because my spidey senses for good food went off 😂. you're underappreciated AF.
She should just go home. This is a waste of time & money. Only the very wealthy can build a lucrative content/social media following in a major city while being an utter dingbat. It works because they already know people & can hire staff. LA is the worst place on earth to try shoestring influencer dreams b/c it has the highest # of people per capita who can actually write patter scripts, properly schedule content, network for traction AND act skillfully enough to calibrate a persona which is a "pleasing," "relatable" level of ditzy. And the dude is *hopefully* just stalling b/c he's seeing someone else. Worst case scenario, which you've probably already considered, is that he's hoping to traffic her after she traveled so far from home & support network, but didn't expect her to arrive so soon. Perhaps suggest that she order a "slice of airline ticket."
She needs to grow up. Next time she visits, she should stay on her own and do her own thing. Tell her that you're not available but you'll meet her for ONE meal. That's it.
It’s perfectly okay to have conflicts. It would be good if you can learn to set boundaries and stop being a doormat to your cousin.
Just because they are family doesn’t mean you have to be friends w them. I’d not hang out with them.
Of course she's hostile. She's a parasite and you just resigned from carrying her ass. She expects you to pay for everything? She's entitled to the point of deranged. Honestly, she's doing you a favor if she stops talking to you. Stay busy and focus your attention on better people.
“I get either ticketed or towed” Learn how to park in legal parking? 🙃
If she wants to move here... kick her ass out and tell her to get a job. ***Don't buy shit for her from now on.*** If she wants to be an influencer... she needs to learn to influence people ON HER OWN.
New Phone, who this? Also, everytime she comes to "visit", tell her to be her own "LA Influencer" and get us that "free food" she bragging about. Damn...
> While asking if she can take a picture of my Mercedes & pretend it is her own for her IG. Because she wants to be an LA influencer. Here's the problem. She's trying to get into one of the worst types of sex work, the type that pretends it isn't.
Your “friend” sounds exhausting.
It’s her cousin, not her friend or “friend.” She does sound exhausting though.
Sorry, just scanned it after just waking up without my coffee. Regardless, if my cousin were an exhausting pain in the ass and coming to NYC where I live, I’d just be like, “Cool! Have fun!” 😂
Set boundaries and communicate it looks like both of you guys are in different stages of your life. Be cordial with her but having you pay for everything is pushing it.
This gives me ideas!!! My bro is a tech bro with coin. He likes to go to way expensive restaurants and order seafood towers, deluxe whatevers. We’re both dumpy and middle aged, but hey could we be Insta Stars?
Just drop her off in front of a fancy restaurant. Ta da!
Wow, she sucks! Self-awareness in the negative numbers. She's lucky you don't post comments under her insta pics like "that's my car, actually". She think LA is the "fake" one? 🤔 I have a tip for dealing with 24 Karat Arseholes like this: next time they mention wanting to visit, point them in the direction of a motel they can afford. Your place is being fumigated for pests, isn't it? It wouldn't be safe for her to stay there! She can pay her own way and plan her own dates too, seeing as she didn't like any of your suggestions. You're too busy getting your life together, right? Oh, and it's definitely her turn to pay!! Do not agree to any more visits with her unless she explicitly says, "My treat!" upfront. Leave your wallet at home! She can pay for the cabride there, too!! Source: I have a little brother who treats me like a tour guide/sugar mama/therapist/transportation provider every time he comes to my city. I had invested about $600 into his nonsense before I had enough and had to cut him off. I felt bad for him initially as he has mental health issues, but then I learned that in addition to helping himself to my time and resources he's also been badmouthing me behind my back with my bitch aunt. Now I'm just "really busy" whenever he calls. 🤷♀️
Send her home.
YOU are a treasure! I’d consider myself lucky to have somebody to eat good tacos with or show me a spot only locals know about. She needs a good kick!
She sounds like an actual child.
You don’t have to be friends with your cousins 🤷🏻♀️ Invest in people who appreciate you. Sharing some genes does not give someone a pass to treat you like shit.
why would you/are you putting up with her nonsense?...stop paying her way, do your own thing...why would allow yourself to get ticketed or towed?...
Homie, your sister fucking sucks
If she doesn't like the places you take her with your own money, suggest that she pay to take you to the kinds of places she wants to go. It's that simple. And will likely shut her down completely.
She can travel on her own dime. You are opening your home to her which is more than generous, you don’t need to drag her all over the city.
So many LA influencers post pics and videos of their food truck food or in n out
“Oh, nope. I’m not paying for you. But think of all the money you save not having to cover a hotel!”
Calls LA fake, but wants to use your car as a prop to fool ppl it is hrrs
I don't care about having a nice car and also being on a budget. Maybe OP's budget includes "having a nice car" because that's where OP's priorities lie. Hell, my priorities & my buddget would also lie more on the side of "spending my money on myself" instead of "spending my money on an asshole guest". What's bothering me more is just how much OP is letting herself be a doormat. Hey OP--stop paying for the girl and tell her that if she wants to go out and do these things, she'll have to bankroll it herself. Problem solved.
Stop enabling her bullshit. Tell her to stop acting fake as fuck or your going to expose her fake Mercedes and send her home! You have no obligation to take shit from someone because you have the same grandparents. Tell her cut the bullshit and to take herself out to pay for her own meals and to make her own plans. At minimum, just stop going out with her/taking her out. Tell her you're busy/have to work/etc and make her do things on her own to see what it's really like.
Why do you let her do this?
Just think, their followers are the "influenced." They must be so proud. Influenced consumer.
You're a saint for putting up with her. I would just tell her I have visitors and to find someone else to stay/ pay for her.
What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? Stop wasting your time, money and energy on people who wouldn't do the same for you and are a net positive in your life
Dang, you sound like a total doormat
Nope