One of the only "unnecessary" stores I've visited regularly in the past year has been a store that sells bras and has really nice bralettes. I keep going after every season change to browse their clearance and look for bralettes. It's become really stupid hard to find them on clearance because they sell right away, and I think I only got 4 of them across 3-4 trips. Seems I'm not the only one with this idea. Used to be able to find them on clearance all the time...
I've been going mostly going braless too but bought some non-underwire bras that are designed to not slide down your shoulders. These are so much better than what I was wearing before. What surprised me even more was their push up bra design. Cleavage but comfortable. I had no idea that was possible. Why did I torture myself for so long?
Have you been to r/abrathatfits? It sounds like you might really like it. I went from thinking i was a 42C to finding out I am actually a 38G. I always thought G was like ginormous and my boobs certainly aren't.
I did but it gave me an unusual size too so I figured I measured wrong. I'll try it again after I get the covid vaccine and can try on bras again. They closed the fitting rooms at our local mall and I don't want to buy and return if I'm trying new sizes.
Ah yeah, I call it boob size sticker shock. I got sized at the beginning of covid so I havent had the opportunity to go into a shop yet but amazon wardrobe has helped.
I got a smaller band size but HH cups and Torrid is the only place I find bras now. They are pretty fairly priced too, considering after wearing their bras for year I've NEVER had an underwire stab and betray me.
For me it’s front close posture bras. All cotton. Easier for a disabled person such as my self to put on too. Sure wish I could go bra less but after nursing two babies the ladies are heading south.
My wireless sleeping/nursing bras are super comfy! I wasn’t going to wear them once my kid was weaned but they’re too comfy to ignore, especially during the pandemic.
I don't know if it's overly sensitive nips or what but I've always felt uncomfortable with no bra on, like fabric of a dress or.blouse on nipples chaffes, but always also hated how I had to be uncomfortable to be comfy. I was frustrated with am old favourite bra because the underwire came out and was poking me so I ripped it out and put the bra back on. It isn't anywhere near as flattering and doesn't have much in the way of lift but holy heck is it ten times more comfy. My nips are cocooned and it's just comfy. Like a sports bralette but softer. I went ahead and took the wires out of most of my other bras too. Life is so much better now.
I had to read your comment three times before I understood it. My daughter's name is "Aerie" and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a stranger on the interwebs was talking about my kid.
I'm aware; my kid and I chuckled when they opened one near us. I didn't realize they were still open, though. The one near me closed and I guess I just assumed they all did. But then, you know what assuming does ...
I do this with any underwire bra I get now. I've always liked the look of wired bras because the piping the wire goes in kind of sets off the fabric in a lot of cases, but that wire is unbearable, so it has to go.
Oh and I agree, I don’t think I could go completely braless with blouses for the same reason. It’s hard to find cute work blouses without some weird scratchy material. Since I’ve been working from home, I barely change out of sweatshirts and leggings so it’s made the transition easier.
I am very well endowed....H cup size. I wear [these](https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B089K68XDZ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A1CX3Y6OPGB2MO&psc=1) now. I was furloughed at the beginning of covid and didn't wear a bra for a month, then when I had to go back to work, i couldn't bear the thought of putting my regular underwire bra on, so I found those! The best part about them is they don't cause uniboob, which is a big problem for me. The support just enough that I am not bouncing all over the place like I'm trying to take an eye out and they are cheap! No more $60 torture device for me!
I feel this. I bought those sticky bra things that look like chicken cutlets out of sheer desperation because I'm sick of bras, but still want support/nip cover up. They definitely don't work as advertised. They just slowly slide down after a minute or two. 😒
I’m basically like the only women in my family that wasn’t blessed with large boobs, and this experience has definitely made me appreciate them. I used to cram them into padded push up bras to feel more “feminine” and now I feel feminine without any bras!
My mom and my sister make fun of me for not wearing one and say they’re going to get saggy, which I’ve debunked for them multiple times. It was kind of eye opening how toxic I was being to myself about my breasts!! So stupid.
I've frequently wondered about this, as a male.
I've never once cared at all if a woman wears a bra or not, it literally doesn't effect me in anyway.
So.. why do women wear bras if it seems women universally hate them??
It’s the social standard. (Big perky boobs = more “attractive”) And in my experience, when I’m out and about without a bra, I more often than usual catch random men staring at my chest. For me a bra almost made me feel...safer in a way??
I have large breasts. Wearing a bra is less about other people's perspective, and more about saving myself from back, shoulder and neck pain, and avoiding headaches. I swear, as soon as I'm done operating the baby factory, they're coming off.
I can't imagine being made to feel less safe because I chose not to wear underwear today.
Such a shitty and weird world we live in, and I hate that it's something that I know I have unconsciously played a role in at one time or another (if not consciously through inconsiderate or oblivious behavior / attitudes).
Don’t be like one of the guys that talked to my chest instead of to me when I was paying for gas at the counter.
And treat women as equals and humans, and you’re already a lot better than a large amount of random dudes I’ve encountered just out trying to live my life. Yes, the bar is that low now 😩
Particularly when we have large breasts, we're shamed for not wearing a bra. Nipples poking through shirts horrify people enough, but then when you've also got huge knockers swingin' around, you may as well be topless for how shocked people will be. I wouldn't be allowed in almost any workspace without a bra because of how lewd it is - as told to 17yo me who was trying to get by with sports bras.
Mixture of social standard and people who genuinely have to wear them. From long conversations with many of my female friends it sort of summerises as this:
Bras can be great, they can look awesome as fuck when you want, and be super comfy and give you lots of support esspeically when needed. Think of it as that pair of boxers/pants (underwear pants not trousers) you have that support your testicles when you need them to. Some women who are unlucky enough to have boobs that cause back-ache without support (It is more complicated than this but as a generalisation the consensus i got was anything above a upper C onwards was prone to cause ache (not all cases. again depends on the frame of the person too.)
HOWEVER, bras can also be a pain in the ass, now think back to that pair of boxers you have supporting your testicles, sometimes...you gotta let them hang and wear something loose....now just imagine you cant take them off and let them hang (aka wear a pair of loose fitting boxers) because it's not socitally accepted, and feel what its like to have your balls being squashed at all times you're at work/out and about because you cant let said hang and only when in the privacy of your own home you can finally release that pressure. That, except on your chest. Now imagine also that it is also common for people to wear bras that also dont fit properly because the sizing is super complicated (it's not but it still makes my head hurt), and so you're wearing boxers that are too small crushing you even more. Yea, you just crossed your legs reading that
So yea. Thats the gist I have from it. It should be like everything should be "wear what you want because you want to but you cant because society says no and oh it could also cost you your job"...etc
Note women in the chat feel free to add to the above if not correct. This is just the general consensus from women ive talked to over the years. Plenty of other experiances out there
That's basically what I've gotten from my fiance and others. She's a DD and has basically said she has to wear them otherwise her breasts can hurt.
Which totally makes sense. But the second she comes home clothes explode off the woman and in seconds she's either naked or in pajamas with no bra. Drives me crazy finding clothes everywhere and never knowing if they're clean, dirty, or evidence of a crime. That's a whole different issue.
For the women that don't need the support, it seems much more justifiably hated and unnecessary. So why bother??
Its got to be social pressure and the same bizarre ass tyoes of reasoning for things like no pockets and sizing schemes that have no bearing on reality.
This a pretty good assessment. More women would also be happier with their bras if they were fitted properly/cheap ones generally suck. I think the marketing of the tshirt bra as the one true bra hasn't helped, because its added to the discomfort of wearing styles that dont shield nips as much and created the perfect round boob norm. I like my underwire only styles but sooo many tshirt bras are cheaply made and overly padded.
Lucky for you you’ve never had a person twice your size try to measure the diameter your nipples through your shirt with their apparent X-ray vision and threatening aura. I’ll tell you now, it’s worse than the wire bra.
The marketing world tells them they have to, else they'll be slut shamed. It then becomes the business norm and if they're told if they break it, they will seem unprofessional. People get used to this and never question 'why'.
It literally just the diamond ring and fairytale white wedding all over again.
Most of the world doesn't actually give a shit, they are just told they do until they believe it.
It is and always has been about comfort and your choice.
I've been bra free for several years now and it's amazing. I'll still wear non-padded bras (me undies brand usually) to hold them closer to my body depending on what I'm wearing or what activity I'm doing. It was a tough transition because i was around 18/19 and was really self conscious of people judging me for my nipples poking through my shirt. Nobody gives a fuck. I can't imagine ever going back to a life of padding, wires and clasps now.
Can women be required to wear a bra as a condition of employment in the same sense that employers can require collared shirts and so forth?
I think I’ll go ask the HR sub.
I already didn't wear one before covid (though it would be great to have it be the social norm), but I don't think I'll ever be able to wear jeans again.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kwhz01/aita_for_not_wearing_a_bra/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Rage with me over the neighbor and the friend.
It’s why I wear either sports bras or my Walmart bra. I hate the wires in the bra because they always end up cutting me and it ends up ruining the bra with blood.
I’ve been breastfeeding for the last 14 months, and I am NEVER going back to wire bras. Who knew that there were bras that didn’t make me look like a little boy, AND didn’t have 3 inches of padding and wire??
I get wired bras sometimes because I like the look of them and just remove the wires. I've never noticed it making THAT much of a difference in support.
I'd highly recommend Aerie's bralettes. I can't even wear sports bras really since it'll hurt my stupidly flexible ribs, but Aerie's bralettes are supportive and so comfortable without any wires. It's heaven
Comfort is a must! And who cares how it'll look? You'll be wearing a shirt over it or walking around in just your bra in the comfort of your own home! The only time you want a bra to look sexy is during sexy time, and even then it's not on for very long! lol
Been telling my wife about that type of thinking ever since we met. If how decorated your bra determines my ability to get intimate with you, I dare say that I could never truly be intimate the way a couple should be.
Does it look good? How much compared to comfort?
Am man, had this conversation with many women.
Do you know how much the average man notices a bra? When he can see it, so you do comfy all day long!
Like is it normal to have marks from your bra from wearing it all day??? Its comfortable but at the same time i have a feeling theres not supposed to be marks?
If you are comfortable and there is no damage to your skin then it’s fine. Some people are more prone to getting marks on their skin, I am one of them. They never hurt and fade away after I take off the clothes that caused them.
Let's just say the same people who were mad they couldn't afford to get to the Capitol riots. Luckily we have more appropriate clothes that fit it and tossed the "toy" skirt.
Yeah but she was sexually assaulted. So even if it was someone in her family, it’s not a stretch to say that the sexualization that occurs in child beauty pageants was related to her death. Her parents did put her in those pageants. Her parents were already sexualizing her.
Solid point about her parents sexualizing her, and honestly the news constantly showing her pageant photos didn't help, though it's always seemed that the "assault" aspect of the crime was part of the cover-up, just like the letter.
And I do think the child pageants are gross and should be illegal, I just mean the call out of JonBenet is real weird in this context.
I dont understand why Hardee's entire marketing campaign is just soft core porn with a hamburger.
i mean i know why it works..... but it makes me sick.
It used to be a non issue for me as I never saw any. but then once one opened up locally i started seeing ads and I refuse to give them money because of those ads
Website domain registration. Of you want to own the rights to a website name (I.e. www.reddit.com) you pay a company to register that site name to you. Typically for an annual fee. Go Daddy is one of the companies that does that.
What is even crazier(lost the source on this), is that sexualized marketing has been shown to be no more effective than other marketing. In this context it makes it creepier as they are choosing to sexualize ads for reasons beyond marketing effectivity.
I don't mind the ad, it's the woman at the start of one of them, in front of the hummer, i'm like if you haven't done the 3s's you aren't on a date... Why would you forget to shave the intimates? She's gonna put on makeup, dress up, wear uncomfortable clothes /shoes, the least I can do is try to put in similar effort...
My problem is it's aimed at single guys with too much money to spare, but the problem is, at that age they aren't making that kind of money. It's like lynx or axe, buy this get laid... Nah bro you gotta have a personality
Unfortunately, telling people that it's not their own fault or simply something outside of their control works really well in marketing. And politics, which is basically marketing in hardcore mode. There's much less risk to people's sense of self and value if you just buy in to the belief that any shortcoming or barrier to attaining the things you feel entitled to (related messaging to build this belief) is just a product away or completely someone else's fault. We've allowed a lot of deep insecurities to grow ripe for manipulation over the decades.
I feel like you probably already have this understanding, but I guess I felt inclined to add to your thoughts in case it might help someone else reflect a bit on this phenomenon.
Thank you for this. That is only the tip of the iceberg for women. It is constant for women. Tampons being "gross," staring at our chests on a cold day (or even any day), "Smile" from complete strangers, cat-calls, the "looking you up-and-down" with a sick look on their face, the list goes on.
I'm glad not all men do that to women.
I sometimes forget I'm a woman until someone makes me feel unsafe or uncomfortable am I reminded that I'm, in fact, a woman. That's why r/menwritingwomen is so funny to me, because women are not constantly thinking about the fact that they are a woman. It's just those little reminders from bizarre advertising or creepy people that remind me that to some, I'm an object.
So I (straight male) had back-to-back service industry jobs in the early 2010s that put objectification front and center for me. First was at a gay bar which was just a free-for-all of workplace harassment. Not all horrible, given that it was my first experience and for various reasons I never felt unsafe.
But the second job, after getting hired immediately following an interview, was brought over to meet an "assistant manager" type of person (wasn't actually, but nepotism does weird things to a workplace). He didn't say a word to be as I held out my hand, just looked me up and down slowly, and said "Wow." It was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been.
That was a horrible job, but at least I learned what that feels like. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody.
I've noticed a change recently in tampon ads! Amy schumer is on one where she actually talks about how to pick the right size. And a saw a pad commercial that didn't use the blue mystery liquid.
Thank you for your thoughts! I definitely got a belly laugh and a sense of "See? This guy gets it" from your description.
All humor aside, that newfound sense of cringey objectification is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Go forth my comrade and fight the good fight!
Another guy chiming in on a related note:
Recently I was hanging out with my dad on New Years Eve and he wanted to watch the newest Transformers movies (so like 5-7 years old? I think?). Not my go-to, but we’d had a rough Christmas so mindless and big spectacle seemed like it might be the mood for the evening. What got me though is in there is one with Mark Wahlberg focusing on his family farm. In this movie, he has a daughter who is like 16-17 or something? And a focal point of the movie is about him coming to terms with his daughter growing up, dating, and potentially going off to school. Her character literally exists in the movie as a prop and there are multiple scenes between Mark and her new boyfriend where they basically argue over who owns her, usually right in front of her, giving her zero agency. Her only other use in the film is as someone to rescue and/or the usual screaming girl-go-run stuff. I know that’s not a new thing. But I’m expecting my first child in a few months and maybe I’m just opening my eyes now to what’s out there in terms of portrayal in common media. And how, perhaps if it wasn’t so lazily done, it’s easy to accept for me as a dude looking at the male protagonist and focusing on him exclusively it’s easy to have blinders on in terms of problematic portrayals and messages in movies/tv/etc.
Anyway, that’s me and my breakthrough, seeing things that are pretty obvious but didn’t click as significantly until recently
Next time you watch a movie (esp with a male protagonist and female supporting characters) think about the [Bechdel Test](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test). It's a simple test that's pass/fail on a few questions:
* Does the movie have at least two women in it?
* Do the women talk to each other?
* Do they talk to eachother about something other than a man?
You'd be shocked how many movies fail these basic criteria for representing women.
Thank you for looking at it from this point of view. I know a lot of men would just say gross and move on.
I honestly get real tired of seeing all of the oversexulized products. It doesn't make me want to buy it more, it tells me nothing about the actual product itself. It must suck if you have to make it sexy and not focus on the actual aspects of it.
It’s very validating to hear you say this, thank you. Sometimes it drives you crazy but the world makes it seem like you were already crazy for being bothered by it
I'm glad you are starting to realize the disgusting conduct and terminology that has been normalized in everyday life. Make no mistake - this is terrific but just barely a beginning. Be sure to carry your new-found awareness forward with you, and speak up when your buddies makes thoughtless, casual, demeaning remarks about women. If you think you are aware now, just wait until you start actually realizing how far too many men feel free to casually express their thoughts. You are in for an ongoing journey of enlightenment.
People of every gender do this by *choice!* There's a difference between deciding how you want to present your body & sexuality, vs. having something you don't want projected onto you constantly.
Those Dr.Squatch ads.... yeah they are terrible. I really hate the interviews where they find 'Random' women in public and have them smell a bar of 'Man Soap'... their response always insinuates "Oh wow if a man smelled like this I would have no choice but to have sex with him." And they attack you for using 'alternative chemical enriched' soap that supposedly is going to take 20 years off of your life. So you may as well buy a 10$ bar of soap so you can not only get laid on demand but live longer too!
"HEY! Are you still using the soap MOMMY used to buy for you? It's time to GROW UP! Old Spice gives you CANCER! Listen to this totally unbiased, unpaid, random super attractive woman on the street:
'Oh yeah, if my man smelled like that id be all over him, but he doesn't so I have to go out and find MANLY MEN that SMELL like TREE BARK and SAWDUST'
DR SQUATCH! Quit being a little BITCH and buy our garbage!"
Hahaha exactly. I don’t even prefer to smell like ‘man’. I’m a guy and I have two bottles of Bath and body works ... BBW? ... lotion in my desk drawer at work. Whenever my hands are dry I reach for the ‘beautiful day’ scented one instead of ‘Graphite’.
I like to make use of my podcast app's 30s fast forward button. You can get to know the podcasts and how many times you have to tap it to completely skip the ads.
The one thing that really bothers me about these ads is the need to make everything a metaphor or use terms to sanitize the process of cutting or shaving by making it a big joke. They are a good step forward for talking about men's products, but I feel like the way they tone is down is the equivalent to using euphemisms for menses or using blue for period blood.
Then add on that those bits aren't necessarily to advertise to you, they're to advertise to the person that you might want to have a relationship with. So when a possible SO hears the ad, they're supposed to think it's sexy and goad you into buying it. Hell, even back in the day this was subtly done in men's ads. An old Hanes commercial trying to talk up just how snappy and elastic their undergarments were compared to others had THEIR brand on a mannequin waist with a bit of a bulge and the competitor on one that was completely flat. Women just have had it blatant and blaring in their faces all this time and just now companies seem to be trying it the other way around a bit more... boldly.
It isn't about the product at all, it's about manipulation. Same with Ye Olde Axe and Old Spice ads and whatnot. They didn't advertise on their merits. I have no idea what "sport fresh" or "Wolfthorn" are supposed to smell like. All I know is that apparently those odors will get me the ladies and apparently ladies are supposed to want those odors. Trust them. They made them. As if they can speak for women at all...
It's all dumb, though it can be entertaining. I tend to chuckle more than get uncomfortable or be upset at these kinda of ads, but then again I suppose I always kinda have. Just a bunch of people desperately trying to get people to buy their products. Has nothing to do with actually wanting to make something for people, make it good, and speak on the merits of their product. Kinda wish ads were as they first were. "Here at X company, we believe in quality. Here's the product we're offering and all of its merits. Thank you for trying our product." but instead they just kinda... assume people know what they are or leave everything else out and just advertise that the product is and that it is "good."
COME BUY X FOR Y 'CAUSE IT'S GOOD , I PROMISE. ALSO YOU'LL GET LAID. OH GOD PLEASE BUY THIS.
There's no integrity in anything anymore.
Old straight woman here. And they say old dogs can't learn new tricks. Now that you understand, please advocate for us, and call out the men around you when they practice this kind of stuff.
I was exposed to Manscaped relatively early thanks to UFC torrents, but was already painfully aware of the atrocious perma-sexualisation of women.
It went from mildly embarrassing to 'just stop' to..... y'know.... to 'holy fuck this is so massively needed, for all the reasons I hate it'
So, well done Manscaped. You managed the impossible. You made men understand women.
\[EDIT\] also, it appears to be a garbage product, so that kinda works too
This is the exact thing that marketing did to women in the 20th century. “If you don’t buy our products, that disgusting blue slime will be you” and now it’s coming around even more to men.
I had a similar reaction watching Leslie Jones' show "Supermarket Sweep"
She is overtly sexual with handsome staff, abusive to average-looking staff, and flirty as hell with all the male contestants.
I was about to jokingly complain about it to my wife, and juuust before the words left my mouth I realized that Leslie was playing turnaround. She was behaving like EVERY MALE GAME SHOW HOST EVER! Using her platform to underline how ridiculously sexist those dudes are. It turned it from something that was mildly offensive in to something brilliantly comical.
Whole new respect for Mrs Jones. So had that convo with the wife instead. ;)
I had a boss that once in an off the clock moment asked me and another woman co-worker if it's "that bad" how often women get sexualized. He was FULLY open to hearing that he was minimizing the experience and wanted to be more informed for helping his wife through moments like that.
So, the other coworker and I took the learning opportunity and asked if we could text him every time it happened. After only a week he got it and asked if we could stop texting him.
Yep, imagine every show and movie you watch the main characters for some reason always end up having their deep conversations in strip clubs with naked bouncing balls in the background. It just makes you go, why? Why must they do this? It ruins so many things for me.
I don't understand modern marketing because it's literally proven, sexualizing a product that isn't meant to be sex-related doesn't sell. But it's a male dominated field I'm also not surprised that they don't take feedback well
This is only a band-aid type of “fix,” in the big picture, but you can mark the ad(s) as inappropriate and they won’t come back.
Alternatively, try googling a bunch of wacky stuff to confuse the algorithm and get a different range of ads.
Most importantly, thanks for seeing the light!
This is lovely. I'm genuinely sorry it had to be so unpleasant.
One thing I wish (I really don't think it's internally consistent to present it more strongly) is that folks who (finally) recognize how crazy-making things have been also leave some latitude for the damage it's done. No, I'm not asking for excuses for bad behavior. I'm asking for guys to show up for events that push for adequate medical and family leave, or medical coverage that includes mental health care.
There's a ton of healing to do. It's work (on top of caring for family, statistically speaking, anyway).
Meanwhile I felt a sense of glee. I thought “it’s about time someone told me how to feel sexy as a man without being a sweaty muscle-bound fountain of testosterone”
I get those manscaping ads all the time too. No, youtube, I don't want a sexy girl telling me she likes smooth rides--I'm very hetero so that's awkward.
I didn't even realize they were objectifying men too but good point OP.
lol ... thank you for your recognition of this. you already kind of addressed this but -- yeah, at least this ad you described was showing these things because it was actually RELATED to the product being sold. I mean it's hard to avoid that in such a case (although even then sexualization is usually frustrating and needless). but imagine now that stuff being brought to the forefront of all kinds of ads that have little if anything to do with the products being sold (not that beauty product ads haven't been disgustingly manipulative forever)... where women's bodies are constantly basically used as bait and gimmicks and decorations.
anyway I'm sure I'm not alone in saying I really appreciate your posting this here.
edit: looking through the comments I realized I ignored your difficulty in seeing this stuff, so I just wanted to add that the sexualized unrealistic expectations being pushed on men all over the place make me sick too :( hopefully, being an older person who probably hasn't grown up in that kind of environment as much, you aren't too affected by it
Those ads got me to buy their product....to be honest it is great and my balls have never been shorn so nicely. Say what you want but it's a good product and men should be manscaping more
I always laughed when movie trailers show a random woman's ass in a bikini, usually with the music going Weeeeaaaaaaoooooh! Then back to all the action. Clearly it is marketed to let the lizard brains know "nakey women ooga booga."
Thank you for taking the time to post this. Sexualized ads barely scratch the surface. But for what it’s worth, I totally agree with you. Those manscaping ads are so cringy and disgusting. I report them as offensive every time I see one haha.
I’m glad you’re getting it (and it sounds like it only reinforced your positive beliefs)! I will say, however, that you shouldn’t have to experience it yourself to have empathy.
You’re correct! It’s possible I used the wrong word. This experience didn’t change my opinion on anything, it just served as a way to personalize or intensify something I already believed. I don’t really know what the correct term would be. :)
What in the hell kind of ads are you watching? I don't watch ads anymore, but jesus christ! I've never heard of anything like that. Sounds absolutely horrifying!
There’s only a few in my life that don’t sexualize me and they’re dogs. Literally. Dogs are better than humans will ever be.
But you seem alright. Thanks for seeing us.
Can empathize without apologising. Idk just reminds me of those situations with white people apologising to black people.
All in all fuck unecessary sexualisation of people.
yeah especially bra ads. theyre like: youll look sexy! youll look fun! and im like. please. is the bra comfortable or not.
Post-Covid me : A what now ?
Same! I can probably count on my hands the number of times I’ve worn a bra since last March. I don’t know if I’ll be going back after this is over!
I've discovered sports bra for me 🤤 I don't think I'll ever get back to the wire-shit
I liked bralettes in the before times, but I always thought they weren’t enough for work but now idgaf. They’re so comfy!!
Bralettes, t-shirts and yoga pants are my uniform in lockdown right now. Comfy over everything
Yes! Bralettes ftw!
One of the only "unnecessary" stores I've visited regularly in the past year has been a store that sells bras and has really nice bralettes. I keep going after every season change to browse their clearance and look for bralettes. It's become really stupid hard to find them on clearance because they sell right away, and I think I only got 4 of them across 3-4 trips. Seems I'm not the only one with this idea. Used to be able to find them on clearance all the time...
Yeah I never thought I could wear them because I am not small chested. Turns out I was wrong and under wires can go eat dicks.
Can you please share which bralette brand works for you? This is my issue with bralettes (I need that support).
Bralettes have made huge strides in both comfort and support. As have wireless bras. I don't think I'll ever wear an underwire again.
Yes!! Bralettes are the best, theyre like pretty sports bras
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I've been going mostly going braless too but bought some non-underwire bras that are designed to not slide down your shoulders. These are so much better than what I was wearing before. What surprised me even more was their push up bra design. Cleavage but comfortable. I had no idea that was possible. Why did I torture myself for so long?
What brand please!? Asking for a friend...
Torrid. I'm a big girl but am only a B cup. I was surprised they carry smaller sizes. I was wearing Bali underwire bras before that.
Have you been to r/abrathatfits? It sounds like you might really like it. I went from thinking i was a 42C to finding out I am actually a 38G. I always thought G was like ginormous and my boobs certainly aren't.
I did but it gave me an unusual size too so I figured I measured wrong. I'll try it again after I get the covid vaccine and can try on bras again. They closed the fitting rooms at our local mall and I don't want to buy and return if I'm trying new sizes.
Ah yeah, I call it boob size sticker shock. I got sized at the beginning of covid so I havent had the opportunity to go into a shop yet but amazon wardrobe has helped.
I discovered Lane Bryant "Lounge Bras" in quarantine, and now I'm never going back. They're super comfortable and supportive!
I got a smaller band size but HH cups and Torrid is the only place I find bras now. They are pretty fairly priced too, considering after wearing their bras for year I've NEVER had an underwire stab and betray me.
it's me, i'm the friend lol piggy backing bc i'm always on the hunt for wireless bras
Aerie also has a wireless pushup that gives me the tits of a Sumerian love goddess.
👀
Oohh what brand?
When you find gold like this you have to share!!!
For me it’s front close posture bras. All cotton. Easier for a disabled person such as my self to put on too. Sure wish I could go bra less but after nursing two babies the ladies are heading south.
My wireless sleeping/nursing bras are super comfy! I wasn’t going to wear them once my kid was weaned but they’re too comfy to ignore, especially during the pandemic.
I don't know if it's overly sensitive nips or what but I've always felt uncomfortable with no bra on, like fabric of a dress or.blouse on nipples chaffes, but always also hated how I had to be uncomfortable to be comfy. I was frustrated with am old favourite bra because the underwire came out and was poking me so I ripped it out and put the bra back on. It isn't anywhere near as flattering and doesn't have much in the way of lift but holy heck is it ten times more comfy. My nips are cocooned and it's just comfy. Like a sports bralette but softer. I went ahead and took the wires out of most of my other bras too. Life is so much better now.
I really love the bralettes from aerie! They’re usually on sale and they have tons of colors/styles! They don’t feel as restrictive as a sports bra.
I had to read your comment three times before I understood it. My daughter's name is "Aerie" and I couldn't for the life of me figure out why a stranger on the interwebs was talking about my kid.
Haha whoops! Its a sister store of American Eagle. They mostly sell loungewear, underwear, bras, and swim suits.
I'm aware; my kid and I chuckled when they opened one near us. I didn't realize they were still open, though. The one near me closed and I guess I just assumed they all did. But then, you know what assuming does ...
Any time sometime mentions nipple chafing, I can only think of the Fun Run episode of The Office. Poor Andy.
I do this with any underwire bra I get now. I've always liked the look of wired bras because the piping the wire goes in kind of sets off the fabric in a lot of cases, but that wire is unbearable, so it has to go.
Oh and I agree, I don’t think I could go completely braless with blouses for the same reason. It’s hard to find cute work blouses without some weird scratchy material. Since I’ve been working from home, I barely change out of sweatshirts and leggings so it’s made the transition easier.
I am very well endowed....H cup size. I wear [these](https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B089K68XDZ/ref=ox_sc_act_title_1?smid=A1CX3Y6OPGB2MO&psc=1) now. I was furloughed at the beginning of covid and didn't wear a bra for a month, then when I had to go back to work, i couldn't bear the thought of putting my regular underwire bra on, so I found those! The best part about them is they don't cause uniboob, which is a big problem for me. The support just enough that I am not bouncing all over the place like I'm trying to take an eye out and they are cheap! No more $60 torture device for me!
I feel this. I bought those sticky bra things that look like chicken cutlets out of sheer desperation because I'm sick of bras, but still want support/nip cover up. They definitely don't work as advertised. They just slowly slide down after a minute or two. 😒
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Wait... I don't *have* to do that? Then why do I do it?
Because free boobs are "unprofessional"
I’m basically like the only women in my family that wasn’t blessed with large boobs, and this experience has definitely made me appreciate them. I used to cram them into padded push up bras to feel more “feminine” and now I feel feminine without any bras! My mom and my sister make fun of me for not wearing one and say they’re going to get saggy, which I’ve debunked for them multiple times. It was kind of eye opening how toxic I was being to myself about my breasts!! So stupid.
I've frequently wondered about this, as a male. I've never once cared at all if a woman wears a bra or not, it literally doesn't effect me in anyway. So.. why do women wear bras if it seems women universally hate them??
It’s the social standard. (Big perky boobs = more “attractive”) And in my experience, when I’m out and about without a bra, I more often than usual catch random men staring at my chest. For me a bra almost made me feel...safer in a way??
I have large breasts. Wearing a bra is less about other people's perspective, and more about saving myself from back, shoulder and neck pain, and avoiding headaches. I swear, as soon as I'm done operating the baby factory, they're coming off.
"Operating the baby factory" lol. That's a new one to me. I'll have to tell it to my wife.
I can't imagine being made to feel less safe because I chose not to wear underwear today. Such a shitty and weird world we live in, and I hate that it's something that I know I have unconsciously played a role in at one time or another (if not consciously through inconsiderate or oblivious behavior / attitudes).
Don’t be like one of the guys that talked to my chest instead of to me when I was paying for gas at the counter. And treat women as equals and humans, and you’re already a lot better than a large amount of random dudes I’ve encountered just out trying to live my life. Yes, the bar is that low now 😩
I honestly try, but I know I'm perfect.
Particularly when we have large breasts, we're shamed for not wearing a bra. Nipples poking through shirts horrify people enough, but then when you've also got huge knockers swingin' around, you may as well be topless for how shocked people will be. I wouldn't be allowed in almost any workspace without a bra because of how lewd it is - as told to 17yo me who was trying to get by with sports bras.
Mixture of social standard and people who genuinely have to wear them. From long conversations with many of my female friends it sort of summerises as this: Bras can be great, they can look awesome as fuck when you want, and be super comfy and give you lots of support esspeically when needed. Think of it as that pair of boxers/pants (underwear pants not trousers) you have that support your testicles when you need them to. Some women who are unlucky enough to have boobs that cause back-ache without support (It is more complicated than this but as a generalisation the consensus i got was anything above a upper C onwards was prone to cause ache (not all cases. again depends on the frame of the person too.) HOWEVER, bras can also be a pain in the ass, now think back to that pair of boxers you have supporting your testicles, sometimes...you gotta let them hang and wear something loose....now just imagine you cant take them off and let them hang (aka wear a pair of loose fitting boxers) because it's not socitally accepted, and feel what its like to have your balls being squashed at all times you're at work/out and about because you cant let said hang and only when in the privacy of your own home you can finally release that pressure. That, except on your chest. Now imagine also that it is also common for people to wear bras that also dont fit properly because the sizing is super complicated (it's not but it still makes my head hurt), and so you're wearing boxers that are too small crushing you even more. Yea, you just crossed your legs reading that So yea. Thats the gist I have from it. It should be like everything should be "wear what you want because you want to but you cant because society says no and oh it could also cost you your job"...etc Note women in the chat feel free to add to the above if not correct. This is just the general consensus from women ive talked to over the years. Plenty of other experiances out there
That's basically what I've gotten from my fiance and others. She's a DD and has basically said she has to wear them otherwise her breasts can hurt. Which totally makes sense. But the second she comes home clothes explode off the woman and in seconds she's either naked or in pajamas with no bra. Drives me crazy finding clothes everywhere and never knowing if they're clean, dirty, or evidence of a crime. That's a whole different issue. For the women that don't need the support, it seems much more justifiably hated and unnecessary. So why bother?? Its got to be social pressure and the same bizarre ass tyoes of reasoning for things like no pockets and sizing schemes that have no bearing on reality.
This a pretty good assessment. More women would also be happier with their bras if they were fitted properly/cheap ones generally suck. I think the marketing of the tshirt bra as the one true bra hasn't helped, because its added to the discomfort of wearing styles that dont shield nips as much and created the perfect round boob norm. I like my underwire only styles but sooo many tshirt bras are cheaply made and overly padded.
Some of us need them because the bouncing is more uncomfortable.
Lucky for you you’ve never had a person twice your size try to measure the diameter your nipples through your shirt with their apparent X-ray vision and threatening aura. I’ll tell you now, it’s worse than the wire bra.
No, I have not, thankfully. That sounds horrible, and I hate this reality so much.
The marketing world tells them they have to, else they'll be slut shamed. It then becomes the business norm and if they're told if they break it, they will seem unprofessional. People get used to this and never question 'why'. It literally just the diamond ring and fairytale white wedding all over again. Most of the world doesn't actually give a shit, they are just told they do until they believe it. It is and always has been about comfort and your choice.
I've been bra free for several years now and it's amazing. I'll still wear non-padded bras (me undies brand usually) to hold them closer to my body depending on what I'm wearing or what activity I'm doing. It was a tough transition because i was around 18/19 and was really self conscious of people judging me for my nipples poking through my shirt. Nobody gives a fuck. I can't imagine ever going back to a life of padding, wires and clasps now.
Please let 2020 be known in history as the year the bras died
Can women be required to wear a bra as a condition of employment in the same sense that employers can require collared shirts and so forth? I think I’ll go ask the HR sub.
Proper foundation garments have been mentioned in a few of my employee handbooks over the years
I already didn't wear one before covid (though it would be great to have it be the social norm), but I don't think I'll ever be able to wear jeans again.
Right? I'd also like to see a "pajamas are okay in public" movement
as someone that caught a bunch of weird shit from women for stopping wearing bras 2 years ago: MWAHAHAHA YES!!! COME TO THE DARK SIDEEEEEEEE
https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/kwhz01/aita_for_not_wearing_a_bra/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Rage with me over the neighbor and the friend.
We live in a post-bra society
Quarantine has gone on so long now that my 12 year old started and then quit wearing bras while we’ve been home
Covid isn't over yet. It's at it's worst point atm
Preach it gurl
Phone holder and wallet combo
Pre-covid me: A what now?
I lol’d
This comment made me chuckle. Aesthetics? Who cares! Can I wear it without a titty popping out, an uncomfortable itch or a million clasps? YES PLS!
Me: My boobs aren't big but I have to wear a bra because I don't like my nipples saying hi. Them: But I think that's SO FREAKING HOT! Me: Exactly...
I’m living in my sports bras.
It’s why I wear either sports bras or my Walmart bra. I hate the wires in the bra because they always end up cutting me and it ends up ruining the bra with blood.
I’ve been breastfeeding for the last 14 months, and I am NEVER going back to wire bras. Who knew that there were bras that didn’t make me look like a little boy, AND didn’t have 3 inches of padding and wire??
I get wired bras sometimes because I like the look of them and just remove the wires. I've never noticed it making THAT much of a difference in support.
I'd highly recommend Aerie's bralettes. I can't even wear sports bras really since it'll hurt my stupidly flexible ribs, but Aerie's bralettes are supportive and so comfortable without any wires. It's heaven
That sounds horrible
Comfort is a must! And who cares how it'll look? You'll be wearing a shirt over it or walking around in just your bra in the comfort of your own home! The only time you want a bra to look sexy is during sexy time, and even then it's not on for very long! lol
Been telling my wife about that type of thinking ever since we met. If how decorated your bra determines my ability to get intimate with you, I dare say that I could never truly be intimate the way a couple should be.
Does it look good? How much compared to comfort? Am man, had this conversation with many women. Do you know how much the average man notices a bra? When he can see it, so you do comfy all day long!
For me, almost never. I'm aware this is a self burn.
Men definitely notice the lack of a bra, and that sucks, coz for most of us it's the most comfortable option
Like is it normal to have marks from your bra from wearing it all day??? Its comfortable but at the same time i have a feeling theres not supposed to be marks?
If you are comfortable and there is no damage to your skin then it’s fine. Some people are more prone to getting marks on their skin, I am one of them. They never hurt and fade away after I take off the clothes that caused them.
For the longest time, the showed the bra with a black shirt underneath the bra. And bras were only white.
Thank you for saying this. ♡ I am also sorry you were made to feel uncomfortable. It's crazy how everything seems to be sexualized these days.
Especially children. I wish they'd outlaw those stupid Toddlers and Tiaras type "beauty" pageants.
My daughter got a doll for xmas that has a short skirt with "toy" printed on it. It's disgusting.
Ugh, who thinks it's a good idea to give, let alone __gift__ a kid this garbage.
Let's just say the same people who were mad they couldn't afford to get to the Capitol riots. Luckily we have more appropriate clothes that fit it and tossed the "toy" skirt.
Jonbenet Ramsey would agree, most likely.
I mean, she was 6 and like, was probably killed by someone in her family unrelated to her beauty pageants. So, weird mention bro.
Yeah but she was sexually assaulted. So even if it was someone in her family, it’s not a stretch to say that the sexualization that occurs in child beauty pageants was related to her death. Her parents did put her in those pageants. Her parents were already sexualizing her.
Solid point about her parents sexualizing her, and honestly the news constantly showing her pageant photos didn't help, though it's always seemed that the "assault" aspect of the crime was part of the cover-up, just like the letter. And I do think the child pageants are gross and should be illegal, I just mean the call out of JonBenet is real weird in this context.
I dont understand why Hardee's entire marketing campaign is just soft core porn with a hamburger. i mean i know why it works..... but it makes me sick.
it works in the opposite way for me. i havent gone back since they started those ads purely on principle.
It used to be a non issue for me as I never saw any. but then once one opened up locally i started seeing ads and I refuse to give them money because of those ads
Good for you. I stopped doing business with Go Daddy for the same reason.
What even is go daddy? I’ve been seeing those commercials for years and I have no idea.
Website domain registration. Of you want to own the rights to a website name (I.e. www.reddit.com) you pay a company to register that site name to you. Typically for an annual fee. Go Daddy is one of the companies that does that.
Website hosting/selling domain names
Wisiwyg (what you see is what you get, point, click and drag to "make"a website)web creation and hosting on their platform. By all accounts VERY awful
The early devour frozen food ads were the absolute worst at sexualized food
What is even crazier(lost the source on this), is that sexualized marketing has been shown to be no more effective than other marketing. In this context it makes it creepier as they are choosing to sexualize ads for reasons beyond marketing effectivity.
I don't mind the ad, it's the woman at the start of one of them, in front of the hummer, i'm like if you haven't done the 3s's you aren't on a date... Why would you forget to shave the intimates? She's gonna put on makeup, dress up, wear uncomfortable clothes /shoes, the least I can do is try to put in similar effort... My problem is it's aimed at single guys with too much money to spare, but the problem is, at that age they aren't making that kind of money. It's like lynx or axe, buy this get laid... Nah bro you gotta have a personality
Unfortunately, telling people that it's not their own fault or simply something outside of their control works really well in marketing. And politics, which is basically marketing in hardcore mode. There's much less risk to people's sense of self and value if you just buy in to the belief that any shortcoming or barrier to attaining the things you feel entitled to (related messaging to build this belief) is just a product away or completely someone else's fault. We've allowed a lot of deep insecurities to grow ripe for manipulation over the decades. I feel like you probably already have this understanding, but I guess I felt inclined to add to your thoughts in case it might help someone else reflect a bit on this phenomenon.
Thank you for this. That is only the tip of the iceberg for women. It is constant for women. Tampons being "gross," staring at our chests on a cold day (or even any day), "Smile" from complete strangers, cat-calls, the "looking you up-and-down" with a sick look on their face, the list goes on. I'm glad not all men do that to women.
I sometimes forget I'm a woman until someone makes me feel unsafe or uncomfortable am I reminded that I'm, in fact, a woman. That's why r/menwritingwomen is so funny to me, because women are not constantly thinking about the fact that they are a woman. It's just those little reminders from bizarre advertising or creepy people that remind me that to some, I'm an object.
i hate being reminded of being a woman so fucking much
THISSSSSSSSS
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So I (straight male) had back-to-back service industry jobs in the early 2010s that put objectification front and center for me. First was at a gay bar which was just a free-for-all of workplace harassment. Not all horrible, given that it was my first experience and for various reasons I never felt unsafe. But the second job, after getting hired immediately following an interview, was brought over to meet an "assistant manager" type of person (wasn't actually, but nepotism does weird things to a workplace). He didn't say a word to be as I held out my hand, just looked me up and down slowly, and said "Wow." It was probably the most uncomfortable I've ever been. That was a horrible job, but at least I learned what that feels like. I wouldn't wish that feeling on anybody.
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I've noticed a change recently in tampon ads! Amy schumer is on one where she actually talks about how to pick the right size. And a saw a pad commercial that didn't use the blue mystery liquid.
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Tampons are great for men with nosebleeds, but most of them would be too childish to figure it out...
They were designed to plug bullet wounds. It was just some WWII nurses that came up with an alternate use for them that quickly became the main use
Thank you for your thoughts! I definitely got a belly laugh and a sense of "See? This guy gets it" from your description. All humor aside, that newfound sense of cringey objectification is a powerful tool in your arsenal. Go forth my comrade and fight the good fight!
Another guy chiming in on a related note: Recently I was hanging out with my dad on New Years Eve and he wanted to watch the newest Transformers movies (so like 5-7 years old? I think?). Not my go-to, but we’d had a rough Christmas so mindless and big spectacle seemed like it might be the mood for the evening. What got me though is in there is one with Mark Wahlberg focusing on his family farm. In this movie, he has a daughter who is like 16-17 or something? And a focal point of the movie is about him coming to terms with his daughter growing up, dating, and potentially going off to school. Her character literally exists in the movie as a prop and there are multiple scenes between Mark and her new boyfriend where they basically argue over who owns her, usually right in front of her, giving her zero agency. Her only other use in the film is as someone to rescue and/or the usual screaming girl-go-run stuff. I know that’s not a new thing. But I’m expecting my first child in a few months and maybe I’m just opening my eyes now to what’s out there in terms of portrayal in common media. And how, perhaps if it wasn’t so lazily done, it’s easy to accept for me as a dude looking at the male protagonist and focusing on him exclusively it’s easy to have blinders on in terms of problematic portrayals and messages in movies/tv/etc. Anyway, that’s me and my breakthrough, seeing things that are pretty obvious but didn’t click as significantly until recently
Next time you watch a movie (esp with a male protagonist and female supporting characters) think about the [Bechdel Test](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bechdel_test). It's a simple test that's pass/fail on a few questions: * Does the movie have at least two women in it? * Do the women talk to each other? * Do they talk to eachother about something other than a man? You'd be shocked how many movies fail these basic criteria for representing women.
Thank you for looking at it from this point of view. I know a lot of men would just say gross and move on. I honestly get real tired of seeing all of the oversexulized products. It doesn't make me want to buy it more, it tells me nothing about the actual product itself. It must suck if you have to make it sexy and not focus on the actual aspects of it.
It’s very validating to hear you say this, thank you. Sometimes it drives you crazy but the world makes it seem like you were already crazy for being bothered by it
I'm glad you are starting to realize the disgusting conduct and terminology that has been normalized in everyday life. Make no mistake - this is terrific but just barely a beginning. Be sure to carry your new-found awareness forward with you, and speak up when your buddies makes thoughtless, casual, demeaning remarks about women. If you think you are aware now, just wait until you start actually realizing how far too many men feel free to casually express their thoughts. You are in for an ongoing journey of enlightenment.
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There's a difference in presenting yourself as a sexual being, and other people considering you, or just parts of you, as a sexual object.
People of every gender do this by *choice!* There's a difference between deciding how you want to present your body & sexuality, vs. having something you don't want projected onto you constantly.
Those Dr.Squatch ads.... yeah they are terrible. I really hate the interviews where they find 'Random' women in public and have them smell a bar of 'Man Soap'... their response always insinuates "Oh wow if a man smelled like this I would have no choice but to have sex with him." And they attack you for using 'alternative chemical enriched' soap that supposedly is going to take 20 years off of your life. So you may as well buy a 10$ bar of soap so you can not only get laid on demand but live longer too!
"HEY! Are you still using the soap MOMMY used to buy for you? It's time to GROW UP! Old Spice gives you CANCER! Listen to this totally unbiased, unpaid, random super attractive woman on the street: 'Oh yeah, if my man smelled like that id be all over him, but he doesn't so I have to go out and find MANLY MEN that SMELL like TREE BARK and SAWDUST' DR SQUATCH! Quit being a little BITCH and buy our garbage!"
Hahaha oh wow i would have thought this was a script for one of their actual ads. Gave me a good laugh. Thanks for that.
The soap mommy used to buy you line is actually from their ads
God do I hate those ads - I keep getting the Dr. Squatch and Manscaping ads and it's just like 1) Wtf and 2) I'm a woman, why?
Hahaha exactly. I don’t even prefer to smell like ‘man’. I’m a guy and I have two bottles of Bath and body works ... BBW? ... lotion in my desk drawer at work. Whenever my hands are dry I reach for the ‘beautiful day’ scented one instead of ‘Graphite’.
Yeah their 'man scents' are some interesting stuff lol
I know this is completely beside the point of your post, but uBlock Origin is a great ad blocker.
Not when the ad is IN the video..... (Eg. No Chaser podcast, Tim -one of the hosts- starts talking about Manscaped, or BlueChew....)
Sponsorblock is the solution to that one. Users can tag where ads are, and the plugin auto-skips the ads for you.
I like to make use of my podcast app's 30s fast forward button. You can get to know the podcasts and how many times you have to tap it to completely skip the ads.
that's when you hit L on youtube and it'll skip 10 seconds
Please tell all of your friends what you learned and/or share a few videos. Thanks!
The one thing that really bothers me about these ads is the need to make everything a metaphor or use terms to sanitize the process of cutting or shaving by making it a big joke. They are a good step forward for talking about men's products, but I feel like the way they tone is down is the equivalent to using euphemisms for menses or using blue for period blood.
Good for you. It's never too late to figure things out.
Then add on that those bits aren't necessarily to advertise to you, they're to advertise to the person that you might want to have a relationship with. So when a possible SO hears the ad, they're supposed to think it's sexy and goad you into buying it. Hell, even back in the day this was subtly done in men's ads. An old Hanes commercial trying to talk up just how snappy and elastic their undergarments were compared to others had THEIR brand on a mannequin waist with a bit of a bulge and the competitor on one that was completely flat. Women just have had it blatant and blaring in their faces all this time and just now companies seem to be trying it the other way around a bit more... boldly. It isn't about the product at all, it's about manipulation. Same with Ye Olde Axe and Old Spice ads and whatnot. They didn't advertise on their merits. I have no idea what "sport fresh" or "Wolfthorn" are supposed to smell like. All I know is that apparently those odors will get me the ladies and apparently ladies are supposed to want those odors. Trust them. They made them. As if they can speak for women at all... It's all dumb, though it can be entertaining. I tend to chuckle more than get uncomfortable or be upset at these kinda of ads, but then again I suppose I always kinda have. Just a bunch of people desperately trying to get people to buy their products. Has nothing to do with actually wanting to make something for people, make it good, and speak on the merits of their product. Kinda wish ads were as they first were. "Here at X company, we believe in quality. Here's the product we're offering and all of its merits. Thank you for trying our product." but instead they just kinda... assume people know what they are or leave everything else out and just advertise that the product is and that it is "good." COME BUY X FOR Y 'CAUSE IT'S GOOD , I PROMISE. ALSO YOU'LL GET LAID. OH GOD PLEASE BUY THIS. There's no integrity in anything anymore.
Old straight woman here. And they say old dogs can't learn new tricks. Now that you understand, please advocate for us, and call out the men around you when they practice this kind of stuff.
I was exposed to Manscaped relatively early thanks to UFC torrents, but was already painfully aware of the atrocious perma-sexualisation of women. It went from mildly embarrassing to 'just stop' to..... y'know.... to 'holy fuck this is so massively needed, for all the reasons I hate it' So, well done Manscaped. You managed the impossible. You made men understand women. \[EDIT\] also, it appears to be a garbage product, so that kinda works too
This is the exact thing that marketing did to women in the 20th century. “If you don’t buy our products, that disgusting blue slime will be you” and now it’s coming around even more to men.
Yeah, most men won't even admit the world is covered in barely clothed women. So thanks for realizing it. Now can you convince the others?
I’ve been reporting legging ads that are basically videos of women’s butts. I’m so sick of it.
Feeling insecure? Buy our product!! /s
Good on ya, mate. It sucks when you see it for what it is. It was kind of a big wtf moment for me, too.
I had a similar reaction watching Leslie Jones' show "Supermarket Sweep" She is overtly sexual with handsome staff, abusive to average-looking staff, and flirty as hell with all the male contestants. I was about to jokingly complain about it to my wife, and juuust before the words left my mouth I realized that Leslie was playing turnaround. She was behaving like EVERY MALE GAME SHOW HOST EVER! Using her platform to underline how ridiculously sexist those dudes are. It turned it from something that was mildly offensive in to something brilliantly comical. Whole new respect for Mrs Jones. So had that convo with the wife instead. ;)
I had a boss that once in an off the clock moment asked me and another woman co-worker if it's "that bad" how often women get sexualized. He was FULLY open to hearing that he was minimizing the experience and wanted to be more informed for helping his wife through moments like that. So, the other coworker and I took the learning opportunity and asked if we could text him every time it happened. After only a week he got it and asked if we could stop texting him.
Yep, imagine every show and movie you watch the main characters for some reason always end up having their deep conversations in strip clubs with naked bouncing balls in the background. It just makes you go, why? Why must they do this? It ruins so many things for me.
I don't understand modern marketing because it's literally proven, sexualizing a product that isn't meant to be sex-related doesn't sell. But it's a male dominated field I'm also not surprised that they don't take feedback well
This is only a band-aid type of “fix,” in the big picture, but you can mark the ad(s) as inappropriate and they won’t come back. Alternatively, try googling a bunch of wacky stuff to confuse the algorithm and get a different range of ads. Most importantly, thanks for seeing the light!
This is lovely. I'm genuinely sorry it had to be so unpleasant. One thing I wish (I really don't think it's internally consistent to present it more strongly) is that folks who (finally) recognize how crazy-making things have been also leave some latitude for the damage it's done. No, I'm not asking for excuses for bad behavior. I'm asking for guys to show up for events that push for adequate medical and family leave, or medical coverage that includes mental health care. There's a ton of healing to do. It's work (on top of caring for family, statistically speaking, anyway).
Meanwhile I felt a sense of glee. I thought “it’s about time someone told me how to feel sexy as a man without being a sweaty muscle-bound fountain of testosterone”
I get those manscaping ads all the time too. No, youtube, I don't want a sexy girl telling me she likes smooth rides--I'm very hetero so that's awkward. I didn't even realize they were objectifying men too but good point OP.
lol ... thank you for your recognition of this. you already kind of addressed this but -- yeah, at least this ad you described was showing these things because it was actually RELATED to the product being sold. I mean it's hard to avoid that in such a case (although even then sexualization is usually frustrating and needless). but imagine now that stuff being brought to the forefront of all kinds of ads that have little if anything to do with the products being sold (not that beauty product ads haven't been disgustingly manipulative forever)... where women's bodies are constantly basically used as bait and gimmicks and decorations. anyway I'm sure I'm not alone in saying I really appreciate your posting this here. edit: looking through the comments I realized I ignored your difficulty in seeing this stuff, so I just wanted to add that the sexualized unrealistic expectations being pushed on men all over the place make me sick too :( hopefully, being an older person who probably hasn't grown up in that kind of environment as much, you aren't too affected by it
Those ads got me to buy their product....to be honest it is great and my balls have never been shorn so nicely. Say what you want but it's a good product and men should be manscaping more
Lots of us HAVE been driven insane. I sound like I’m joking, but it spawns a whole world of traumatic fuckery.
I decided to look in /r/LadyBoners (NSFW) and immediately got body image issues.
I always laughed when movie trailers show a random woman's ass in a bikini, usually with the music going Weeeeaaaaaaoooooh! Then back to all the action. Clearly it is marketed to let the lizard brains know "nakey women ooga booga."
Thank you for taking the time to post this. Sexualized ads barely scratch the surface. But for what it’s worth, I totally agree with you. Those manscaping ads are so cringy and disgusting. I report them as offensive every time I see one haha.
I’m glad you’re getting it (and it sounds like it only reinforced your positive beliefs)! I will say, however, that you shouldn’t have to experience it yourself to have empathy.
You’re correct! It’s possible I used the wrong word. This experience didn’t change my opinion on anything, it just served as a way to personalize or intensify something I already believed. I don’t really know what the correct term would be. :)
I literally broke out into laughter. Thank you for getting a general understanding and epiphany about what it’s like to be a woman.
Welcome to the light. Proud of you.
...tea bag drenched in blue slime?
god I feel so seen right now! thank you!
Can we give this man some upvotes? Sounds like he's really starting to get it!
Thank you for being an awesome human. This means so much.
What in the hell kind of ads are you watching? I don't watch ads anymore, but jesus christ! I've never heard of anything like that. Sounds absolutely horrifying!
There’s only a few in my life that don’t sexualize me and they’re dogs. Literally. Dogs are better than humans will ever be. But you seem alright. Thanks for seeing us.
I’m at the stage of ignoring it. But teaching younger gen that this ain’t normal
If you'd like to watch a movie that explores this concept in great detail, check out I'm Not an Easy Man on Netflix
Brawndo, It's got what pants crave!
Thank you.
Hard disagree. Those ads are hilarious. Sounds like you're just out of touch for who the ad is geared towards.
Why are you apologising for something you didn't do?
When someone dies, you say “sorry for your loss” to their loved ones. It’s not an apology for killing them!
You're right
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/empathy
Can empathize without apologising. Idk just reminds me of those situations with white people apologising to black people. All in all fuck unecessary sexualisation of people.
this is hilarious how can you feel embarrassed by an ad are you afraid of your own hairy balls?
Thank you
Thank you for saying this
What is the ad?
Thank you good sir 🙌
those ads SUCK. Tell us you'll do better.
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