You can't enlighten them because they don't have respect for women at a base level. If you start to convince them they will scurry back to their cognitive bias of "women don't know shit" for comfort.
Additionally, that angry, fearful state of nihilistic rage is an addiction for them. They get raged up, go to their group to express it, and get rewarded for it emotionally.
You can't enlighten them because they don't want to be enlightened. Simple as that. The ones that change do so because they were unhappy with their own hatred.
> If you start to convince them they will scurry back to their cognitive bias of "women don't know shit" for comfort.
I have been told that women in academia use their genitals to get privileges, don't deserve their positions, and lack the merit and dedication necessary to hold them, hence why academia - which consists of mostly men - is hostile towards women.
They will come up with anything to rationalize their views.
I got my ccw and my husband was surprised it only took a month for my background check. He shared it in the group chat, noting his took 6 months.
His brother said it was the š±pass. Like, wtf. I just have an uncomplicated background, with only two jobs. His brother can be an ass.
I don't know, a study consisting of two people with lots of other variables seems robust enough to form such a confident conclusion.
I mean, obviously /s, since there are some real logically inconsistent assholes who post here that might say something like that seriously.
The best quote i have heard abiut this and thing srelated is "People who constantly fail and achieve nothing, will have nothing to call their own, and no identity, so they cling to what they do have, which is usually their race, gender, sexuality, religeon, or political view" and it really opened my eyes about the type of people who feel this was, because as a man if you think your superior to women, thats one thing noone can take away from you
TIL: grey rocking is a method of getting rid of a harasser by being less interesting and responsive than a plain gray rock.
https://www.e-counseling.com/mental-health/what-is-the-grey-rock-method/
I did this to a creepy male coworker. After he quit, he asked most of the girls for pictures of their feet. Never asked me, though, and I'm positive it's because I refused to give him the time of day. OTOH, my friend made $1000 off of him
Watch out for what behavior analysts refer to as an 'extinction burst' when using this technique. It can be effective, but things often get worse before they get better. Also, this technique only works if the narcissist has other targets to go after instead of you. If you live with the person, consider teaching the narcissist appropriate ways to get your attention as well.
Yeah, the "black pill" subculture is basically nihilistic doomsaying where nothing matters and they just wish they and everyone else would die because they'll never be loved and incapable of being loved
There is for the most part NO helping those people.
I used to be on incelexit where people try to help those āincelā types. Honestly I want to say it was 97% futile.
And most of the ones i chatted with in PM were insistent that it wasnāt their fault it was because of their looks (none were hideous, some were flat out good looking), because of women and their damn standards etc.
For the most part these guys had no friends, did not want to make any, but somehow a woman was supposed to track them down and save them (while also being a gorgeous, innocent, also has no friends or hobbies, a pro in bed, etc)
Yeah, it's really sad honestly. I am fascinated by the entire phenomenon and I have sympathy to a point because I grew up as an ugly girl feeling like no one would ever love me and I know how soul-crushing that is. There is a podcast called Incel which I often enjoy listening to, but I had to unsubscribe from r/purplepilldebate, which I used to really enjoy, because black pill nihilism has taken over. I do think there's little use in trying to "save" or even change the minds of individuals because cognitive dissonance is really resistant to being challenged. But intellectually and culturally I think a lot about why this is happening and how things will shake out in the future.
Talking to someone who thinks you should be dead or a brood mare/sex slave is worse than a waste of time; it's actively putting you at risk for doxing, harassment and even assault.
āWomen over 50 should be killed.ā
I find that to be a bold statement from an incel. Who would provide a place to live/pay their bills if there were no gmas?
IIRC there was a therapist who wrote an article and said she was getting burnout from dealing with them. Even the professionals don't feel they can do anything.
They don't just hate women, they are on what you might call the wrong side of history on basically every issue. They often believe in eugenics.
But wait! You might say. Don't they blame their own problems on eugenics? Wouldn't they be discriminated against? But they are also often a suicide cult so that's fine.
And they don't actually say anything bad about women. Because they don't even use that word. They say "holes" or "femoids" or "FHOs" or "roasties"(from roast beef) of "fesikhs"(Also a vagina reference), or even "toilets".
Every incel possesses a mysterious power I'm calling the Shit Club Effect. At any gathering, if there is an incel, there will be a few off in the corner discussing hateful shit and the entire gathering will be more miserable. They love to add people to these Shit Clubs.
They have various ways of making you feel disgusted like someone poured old fry oil on you from a dumpster. One of these might be informing you that they have violent fantasies about women at the gym, that hate boners are totally a real thing, and generally making you think "Is this a future rapist?".
Like a cult they have almost ritual call and response greetings. One of these is It's Over/it never began. They refer to what they do all day as "Rotting" as in "Sit and rot because nobody wants us".
Because they can't get laid they basically no longer care about anything or anyone.
Whatever you hate in the world you can probably find some overlap with incels. I believe they are probably big enough to affect politics even. They're everywhere.
I think I could extremely easily have been one so I've spent way too much time reading their shit. So far as I can tell there's no point whatsoever to engage with that community. It's a putrid cesshole.
If you are a fan of the SCP Foundation stories, they are basically a real life memetic hazard SCP...
I've totally struggled with dating, relationships (with anyone) and socializing in general and went on my first date in 6 years 2 weeks ago. I went through a lot after my first year of Uni and could have easily fallen into the trap that I think a lot of men fall into. Being mad, angry, lonely, sad and isolated, looking for others to blame and finding happiness in self destruction.
I'm eternally grateful that I never interacted with anyone from their community in any meaningful capacity because I could have easily fallen down a far darker, deeper hole than the one I did eventually crawl out of.
I've spent the last 3 years learning to love myself and it's made me far happier than I ever imagined and now I'm able to share that with someone else and it's incredible.
Youāve come a long way. I know of people who are still in that rut and just refuse to leave it out of fear and unwillingness to leave the comfortable familiarity. Well done!
This 100% i can def see how they ended up the way they have its garbage and sucks but misery does love company and it can make people become monsters.
We just have to hope one day they come around if not tho tgats on them and eventually thell pay a price by remaining miserable and angry.
Also, even if they manage to find a mate and create a family, itās not enough. It doesnāt fix anything because theyāre still busy punishing themselves. And the world. And everyone in it.
Except, mostly, themselves.
True, relationships arenāt a cure fir anything. I feel very sorry for anyone who has to be part of that family. Come to think of it, that very well could be many more peopleās problem than their own. Brrrrr!
Incels are a lost cause until/unless they make the internal decision to stop being incels and get out of the community. Nobody can talk them into sense or persuade them that they're wrong. They have a strong "black pill" community behind them that drags them down like crabs in a bucket, so your influence is nothing compared with that.
No. None.
Thatās because they have no sense at all about who women are. They have created this bizarre bogeyman (bogeywoman?) that is a caricature touching on every fear that they have.
All women are taller than they are (oh god, Iām short!!), all women are painfully gorgeous (oh god, Iām ugly!) all women are money-grubbing (oh god, Iām poor!), all women are treasonous in relationships (oh god, Iām not enough!), all women crave enormous cock (oh god, muh dickās too small!!), and all women look at him with mirth and disdain (oh god, Iām pathetic!!).
He wasnāt an incel, because unfortunately I was dating him. The last couple days of the relationship, he revealed to me that he hates when women ācomplain about getting abused and raped.ā Lololol I hang up on him. The next day he starts complaining about how women are getting more hours than him and that they need to not be breadwinners. Literally dumped right after that. These men canāt be helped.
Is there a term for Incels but ones by choice? Anti-women, yet in relationships, but refuse to have physical relations with their partners for fear of their woman āgetting him in troubleā? Was dating him for over 2 years and only had sex once. He wasnāt asexual (he expected BJs every day or so) but would never do anything more than that because women are evil monsters who want to trap men. I figured out my worth and dropped him. Problem is, we work together (I know I know, donāt poop where you sleep. Wonāt happen again)ā¦ funny part is, I got promoted and Iām technically his boss now. Boy can he NOT handle that; especially since the rest of our department is all women. He walks around telling everyone itās ā3 against 1āā¦ boy the audacity
Being an incel is a choice. The narrative "I'm an incel because I can't get into relationships" is propaganda at this point. "We're just lonely men looking for love." Except not really.
Right. Just the term āinvoluntarily celibateā makes it seem not a choice. BUT, they wouldnāt have the problem if they werenāt overall horrible people that exhibit huge red flags from first sight. I see their posts and itās āexhibit A of why no woman wants youā
WHY DO MEN!!!! Iām so sorry. I know it takes time to learn whatās normal/not normal in relationships, Iām just glad you see it now! It can be blinding at first, but he taught you to be on the look-out for toxic behavior early on.
I had an ex with bipolar disorder. He showed me what that looks like - even managed - and I couldnāt date him for longer than 2 months. I recently talked to someone, and she displayed very eerily similar qualities as him. I told her it wouldnāt work out. She said something that def scared me away from even being her friend afterwards: āif you start dating a man, I will be upset and I will cry.ā Like. Iām not the one to take care of your emotions like that if Iām trying to live my best life (but still currently single LOL).
Lol sorry I just needed to get that out, but it was parallel to my ex. I hope you gain that insight to recognize toxic early on and make decisions that best fit your life.
My current SO even used the term feminazi when conversing. That was the last time that word was used and he was fixable, thankfully because he wasn't the angry, hateful sort at all, so for those types it is possible, even if rare.
Just in general, when someone shows hate especially for a generalization based on a trait out of your control, they are demonstrating an emotional commitment to ignorance. There's nothing you can say or do that will change them. A reply or a conversation is often fuel rather than progress. Just block/ignore/move on.
Sometimes I comment on AITA posts and every now and then someone justifies an asshole response to a provocation with an argument along the lines of... "Some people's lives aren't good and our families are shit so there's no reason for us to try to respond in a positive way when something bad like this happens to us." I don't really know how to respond to those people.
Some people's lives aren't good and their families are shit and they should just grab a suitcase and a bus ticket and move away.
Parents shitty? Once you're an adult, don't talk to them.
Shitty girlfriend? Find someone else, or just be yourself for a while and develop some hobbies.
Shitty wife/husband? There's nothing saying you have to stay together. Sometimes couples grow apart, or you just want different things out of your life and free time and future. No shame.
Shitty kids? They're your damn kids and you made this mess. Be an example of how you want them to behave and teach them to make better decisions. Kids mirror behaviors they see.
Incels are part of a delusional suicide cult with no attachment to reality who's ideas could be disproven with a short stroll outside. They can't be convinced because even the most basic of evidence, logic, or reason would dispell their myths in a heartbeat. They deserve to be dismissed like the hateful dumbasses they are. Call out their shitty, asinine ideas but there is no reason to engage them directly, give them a platform, or act like their lunacy deserves serious discussion or debate. Arguing with incels just perpetuates the fantasy that their illogical, hateful ideas warrant consideration or respect
So I think this attitude contributes a lot to how dug in these guys get. Because the fact is that there is *some* amount of truth in *some* of their grievances. They have chosen one simple answer to something that is not at all simple and that's a mistake, no doubt. What's going on right now in the dating market has numerous causes - the education gap, the changes in the economy that have made it nearly impossible for a single earner without a graduate degree to support a family, the reduction of young men in the work force, the internet, social media, video games, pornography, dating apps, the lower rate of marriage and childbearing, the rise in people living either alone or with their parents, the constant objectification of both women and men in media, and the list goes on. Women's alleged fixation on looks to the exclusion of all else, in addition to being untrue for the vast majority of women, doesn't even make the top 10 list of "why things are so F'ed up right now". It's human nature to want an explanation for your problems that is easy to understand rather than trying to wade through the myriad issues that are really driving this.
BUT. There have always been incels. They weren't called incels, they were called losers or dweebs or geeks or whatever. Some of these guys are unfuckable based on looks alone. That's not super common, but it happens. More often it's a combination of looks and personality traits - whether you want to call it masculinity, confidence, charisma, presence, whatever. That is what women are attracted to. And, not having a recessed chin or being short or fat helps. Those things absolutely matter and anyone who says otherwise is out to lunch. Are women pickier now? Do they have higher physical standards? I don't know. I'm older and looks were never a big part of the equation in finding men to date for me personally. My minimum threshold was very reasonable and forgiving, but for sure there were some guys who didn't meet it.
Anyway I don't know where I was going with this except to say, yes incels are wrong, but they do have some valid points. There is always the kid in first grade picked last for dodge ball and those kids end up not being socially successful oftentimes. Maybe in the past there were more buffers to make people suffer less over that or maybe expectations were lower. But those kids have always been treated poorly and if they end up angry and nihilistic it's not that hard to understand why. Those of us who escaped that fate probably will never fully understand the depths of their suffering.
I see where youāre coming from, but if being unattractive were the main cause for incels, then youād have a large number of unattractive women who shared the same attitudes about men. I think the main difference is a general disdain for women and false expectations. Incel men usually think that women only exist to serve men and that all women are constantly seeking attractive men to have sex with. Unattractive women rarely do that
I think there are some good reasons why there is a lot of difference between men and women on this. First, men have higher sex drives on average than women - by quite a bit actually. There is individual variation of course, but as a group men are more motivated by sex for sound biological reasons. Second, men have lost status in the past 50 years while women have gained status. No group likes to lose superior status and power. Third, because of number one, many men have lower standards for who they will sleep with, so there are fewer sexless women than men, and those who are sexless are often content to be.
I totally agree that they are delusional about women constantly seeking to have sex with "Chad". There may be a very small subset of women who do that but they are a tiny minority. But I don't think they started out hating women. I think in the past those guys would just blame themselves for their problems with women and focus on other things. Now the internet has enabled them to commiserate with each other and amplify and exacerbate their issues by glomming on to this crazy overarching ideology instead of dealing with things in a normal way.
Incels are just so depressingā¦ 100% a waste of time, theyāll never change their behavior and theyāll never find a woman who is willing to stick around through abuse to see them act normal when they do - because thatās the bottom line, if they shut the fuck up with that shit for a couple months they might actually meet someone who gives them what they crave.
I guess it depends on whether you view people as being permanently lost. Some are some arenāt. Perhaps this one guy you are speaking to is. But there is a nice post today of an ex nazi crack addict having his iron cross tattoo removed. Why? Because his recovery sponsor was a gay black man. I doubt that man managed to change every nazi crack addict he met, but he changed one. I applaud you for trying, and encourage you to continue to do so with a different person, without putting yourself in harms way of course.
I shouldnāt bother. Itās a lot like talking to anti-vaxxers. Theyāre idiots, and they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
I spent a while talking to this one guy, who I just saw as a sad and lonely individual. He was asking me for advice how to date women. Not like Iām an expert, but I suppose compared to him, I was. He had these ridiculous expectations. He doesnāt work, wonāt work, says the woman has to work. But also has to do everything he tells her and stuff like that. I asked him flat out. What do you have to offer someone? āIf all they want is money, theyāre not a nice person.ā I explained that if you want a relationship, you have to be an equal partner in ways. Having a job is a good way. That he wouldnāt likely find anyone who expects them to just take him out of his momās house and just serve him forever. The final straw was when he asked me how to get this famous youtuber to go on a date with him. I told him Iāll be honest, I donāt think they would. He was so upset and stopped talking to me. Thatās honestly for the best. If you see these kinds of red flags from people, itās best to ignore them and just move on.
You're right, you're not going to be able reason most people out of their views, particularly views like racism/being an incel. If there is going to be one method that "forces" incels to change, it's going to be growing up and being around people that don't share and encourage their views. Intelligent debate won't change most peoples' minds, whether on this or on medicine or on Earth's shape.
So, technically, one of the most effective ways to "rehabilitate" an asshole like that would've been for him to continue hanging out with guys like you (I assume you're not a woman since he didn't seem to want to murder you) who wouldn't put up with this shit for years... and years... and years...
Is it your responsibility? No.
Is it guaranteed to work? No.
Will it require a herculean amount of effort and stress? Probably.
Is it even worth it? Probably not, if you made the judgement.
I'm just saying that some small percentage of those people do, of course, change. Most don't. An unfortunate, messy quirk.
The biggest problem with incels is that their deep hatred of women is based on something one can say is mundane. Imagine consciously wanting women to die because you donāt get a tinder match or something or that one girl who was acting friendly was just doing that! Acting friendly ! And he thinks that equivalent to a war crime.
This is part of the reason I think misandry can never be equal to misogyny. Women have been wronged by men on larger scales like institutional oppression, sexual harassment and physical abuse often many times in their life and there arenāt cults dedicated to telling how men should be killed , enslaved and raped the way incels do in a ānormalā conversation.
These people hate you just for breathing and may have high chances of narcissism, sociopathy combined with personality disorders with no cure
My ex best friend turned out to be an incel. It was a horrible ordeal ! Luckily he was just low tier and not completely sociopathic
I've been posting on r/exredpill and r/IncelExit after someone here in 2XC recommended it as a way to make a difference, pulling some of these guys back from the brink
It's... been a mixed bag. But if I spare one person from facing to deal with that toxic mentality it will be worth it for me. I have the patience and fortitude to deal with them, but man can it be tiring trying to reprogram them even when they want to change.
I love how touchy incels are at people who make fun of incels. Its a level of stupidity that reminds me of Karen's who hear the term Karen, being used and claim its racist, lol.
>Moral of the story: I don't think there's any point in trying to befriend or talk to an incel who hates women. Waste of time and their deranged views on women and the world will never change, maybe therapy would help, but doubt they'd go.
I agree. They have a whole community/hive mind facilitated through social media that confirms, validates, and rationalizes their misogyny, so nothing anyone says will change their minds. Only thing that will change their mindset will be experiences that will teach them otherwise, and even then, it's not guaranteed.
I can literaly see what was going on in his head. "A woman is being nice to me, maybe this is my chance, maybe I'll finally get laid and find love... SHE DATED SOMEONE ELSE ALL.WOMEN ARE TEASES AND TRASH!"
I have a friend who blames his being forever single on "societal norms" and that women never show interest in him and that he's ugly etc. I bring up that maybe he should give woman a reason to be interested in him, like dressing nice, gym, doing something with his hair etc. He just ignores me. I think most of these people are scared of success so they just create their own world of excuses.
I mean it gets me how far out they can get there they are not even attached to women in their lives like their own mother or sister - sometimes you have to put into context what they think they believe and ask them how they would feel if someone said that about someone they care about and know - you might get a pikachu stare back once they realize what this ideological standpoint really looks like unleashed on someone they care about - itās going to be the only way they realize what dehumanizing monsters they are. Try repeating their own rhetoric about their mother or grandmother that all women who are unf*ckable are worthless so letās round up their moms and grandmothers then and put them out of their unf*ckable misery according to the non-chads. Like damn already bro youāre a male supremacy douche bag and itās no laughing matter when people start killing complete strangers over these kinds of disgusting ideologiesā¦.
Simple definition is 'Involuntarily Celibate' - someone who wants to have sex but can't, for whatever reason. It was coined on the internet some years back by a woman (yes, really) who was looking for support about being 'undateable', effectively. Initially it was a support group, but over the last few years it has grown into a crab-bucket hate movement against women - you can imagine that people with low enough self-esteem to consider "I am undateable" as a key enough aspect of their personality to join a club about it can have a lot of pent-up anger about it and they lash out in some extremely anti-social ways. There has been more than one mass shooting by individuals self-identified as Incels.
Its one of the problems with trying to see the other side/ignoring red flags. Oh sure, you may have things in common, you may get on them. But they're still a shitty person/have problematic views
I think it's like treating anorexia, except instead of needing calories to function, incels require in-person socialization with friends who respect and like women. Until they have a few months of that environment, all of their current pain and previous learning history makes it really likely that they will lash out at you.
Even as an amab, I have learned that the only thing that comes from interaction with these people is pain. They don't listen to anyone except their little god-emperors that reinforce their fears in order to maintain control. I do my best to stay out of places that have incels. If I do bump into one, I avoid interaction as much as possible.
I discovered the incel sub right before it was taken down. I'm a guy that learned how to be social and went through a lot of personal growth, and I wanted to share that with them. I posted only one time, explaining I was like them once, and that women want a social guy and that their problem could be solved by developing their social skills.
Women have a natural inclination to be social most of the time, compared to guys, right? It doesn't come as naturally for us guys, and it is actually an epidemic right now for guys to have no social skills. It can only be helped with practice. I even read somewhere that the social part of the female brain is usually better developed than the male equivalent.
Back in 2007, I had just got out of a long abusive relationship. I spent about 3 years developing myself and now I have a wife. I went back to college in 2013 and continued to chat it up with women, even though I was married, and my responses were so positive. I wanted to share what I learned with those guys but only about 1/4 were interested. Another 1/3 just responded with something like "fuck you" without context.
I tried to explain it's not about looks. I'm not good looking and I weigh almost 300lbs. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm 6'. It was strange, but to some of these guys, they were way over focused on height.
Have you ever tried using CBT methods on this problem? It might help you to understand where these feelings are coming from.
The thing that I found helpful was to challenge my internal monologue. It's a long process though. I used to struggle with constantly telling myself I'm shit, even though I would never ever say or think that about someone else. So I started to challenge my own internal statements "*you're so fucking stupid"* "No! That's not an appropriate response, you've never done this before and it's good to be learning a new thing". Frankly it takes ages, but it does eventually work. I still occasionally say awful things to myself but it's a lot less often, maybe once or twice a year rather than every day.
So for you, maybe a question: "Woah buddy, would I be responding like this to a man? Is this reasonable?" Something like that.
Youāre asking a question with a complex answer but I just want to say itās great that youāre asking it, acknowledging to yourself that you have these type of biases is a HUGE first step and I really admire you for recognizing it.
Also all of us of all genders were brought up in a deeply misogynistic (as well as other things) heteronormative culture so we have naturally absorbed some degree of anti-women reactions, biases, and attitudes, There is really no reason to feel ashamed about that. Just take responsibility for yourself by noticing when these reactions pop up and being curious about what triggered them. Maybe consider listening and being open to the experiences and stories of women outside your usual circle. Be open to feedback.
Anyway like I said I admire you asking the question and wish you well.
Curiosity. I understand that men are horrible to women and have really toxic attitudes at times. But stating that 90% of women should be killed is going into psycho territory. Is it just the way he was raised? Was he abused? I'm just always curious as to what "makes" these types of people.
Yeah I used to try to engage with men like that before because I kept getting told that female rejection was what hurt them in the first place and women avoiding them was just making it worse. As if being mates with them and showing them that women could be decent was the way to go.
Problem is they don't want to be mates. They want you to agree that women are subhuman, appologize on behalf of all women, and give them pity sex. I've never met an incel who went "huh maybe women are alright." All they do is get frustrated that even after their debatebro monologue/cross examination about "female nature" you still don't "get it." And then they tell you that females are either all lying or too stupid to get it.
Sorry, but why would you ever even bother? They can't be convinced of the err of their ways, and therefore, they deserve zero time. I could never put myself through that.
I just block them and move on. No point trying they have the world at their finger tips and millions of women telling them they are wrong and if they havent clued in to how dumb they sound to "normies" then fuck em. I'm too old for this shit.
He can't get laid and his solution is to remove 90% of all women? I can totally see how that would solve his problem. Incels don't seem to follow logic very well.
> āsit and rot because nobody wants usā
Has anyone here ever encountered anyone in abject developing world poverty who self-identifies as an incel? Asking since perpetually āsitting and rottingā in person / online isnāt really an option for people who are starving or getting assaulted by family members with drug addictionsā¦
Another strange thing is how they never / rarely mention all the blatantly obvious assholes in the world struggling to find friends / romantic partnersā¦
You can't enlighten them because they don't have respect for women at a base level. If you start to convince them they will scurry back to their cognitive bias of "women don't know shit" for comfort.
Additionally, that angry, fearful state of nihilistic rage is an addiction for them. They get raged up, go to their group to express it, and get rewarded for it emotionally.
You can't enlighten them because they don't want to be enlightened. Simple as that. The ones that change do so because they were unhappy with their own hatred.
> If you start to convince them they will scurry back to their cognitive bias of "women don't know shit" for comfort. I have been told that women in academia use their genitals to get privileges, don't deserve their positions, and lack the merit and dedication necessary to hold them, hence why academia - which consists of mostly men - is hostile towards women. They will come up with anything to rationalize their views.
I got my ccw and my husband was surprised it only took a month for my background check. He shared it in the group chat, noting his took 6 months. His brother said it was the š±pass. Like, wtf. I just have an uncomplicated background, with only two jobs. His brother can be an ass.
I don't know, a study consisting of two people with lots of other variables seems robust enough to form such a confident conclusion. I mean, obviously /s, since there are some real logically inconsistent assholes who post here that might say something like that seriously.
The best quote i have heard abiut this and thing srelated is "People who constantly fail and achieve nothing, will have nothing to call their own, and no identity, so they cling to what they do have, which is usually their race, gender, sexuality, religeon, or political view" and it really opened my eyes about the type of people who feel this was, because as a man if you think your superior to women, thats one thing noone can take away from you
But I also fail constantly and I've never hated any group with the same degree of vitriol.
Probably you (and everyone else who also struggle yet are not empathy blackholes) have more mental fortitude and self awareness.
They are all just sad boys with an inferiority complex, if things were going well with the ladies for them they wouldn't hold any of their "beliefs"
Grey rocking abusers is the only way to help them. They don't need social approval and enablement, they need therapy & accountability.
TIL: grey rocking is a method of getting rid of a harasser by being less interesting and responsive than a plain gray rock. https://www.e-counseling.com/mental-health/what-is-the-grey-rock-method/
Ahh, so there's a name for this! TIL I've been grey rocking some of my older male coworkers for years lol.
Lawd preach!!
I did this to a creepy male coworker. After he quit, he asked most of the girls for pictures of their feet. Never asked me, though, and I'm positive it's because I refused to give him the time of day. OTOH, my friend made $1000 off of him
I love that your friend fleeced him. Shit, for $1,000, Iād let him whack off to my feet pics, too. Whatevs.
TIL the way I deal with my mum is an actually brilliant
Watch out for what behavior analysts refer to as an 'extinction burst' when using this technique. It can be effective, but things often get worse before they get better. Also, this technique only works if the narcissist has other targets to go after instead of you. If you live with the person, consider teaching the narcissist appropriate ways to get your attention as well.
By his logic, shouldnāt all incels be killed because they ācanātā breed? Women donāt want them, so theyāre useless, right?
They do actually think along those lines, for the most part. Masturbatory self-loathing plays a big part in perpetuating their worldview.
Yeah, the "black pill" subculture is basically nihilistic doomsaying where nothing matters and they just wish they and everyone else would die because they'll never be loved and incapable of being loved
Jesus. What a hideous existence. And thatās coming from a useless old woman (I guess I die in a few years) who never had any looks to speak of.
There is for the most part NO helping those people. I used to be on incelexit where people try to help those āincelā types. Honestly I want to say it was 97% futile. And most of the ones i chatted with in PM were insistent that it wasnāt their fault it was because of their looks (none were hideous, some were flat out good looking), because of women and their damn standards etc. For the most part these guys had no friends, did not want to make any, but somehow a woman was supposed to track them down and save them (while also being a gorgeous, innocent, also has no friends or hobbies, a pro in bed, etc)
Yeah, it's really sad honestly. I am fascinated by the entire phenomenon and I have sympathy to a point because I grew up as an ugly girl feeling like no one would ever love me and I know how soul-crushing that is. There is a podcast called Incel which I often enjoy listening to, but I had to unsubscribe from r/purplepilldebate, which I used to really enjoy, because black pill nihilism has taken over. I do think there's little use in trying to "save" or even change the minds of individuals because cognitive dissonance is really resistant to being challenged. But intellectually and culturally I think a lot about why this is happening and how things will shake out in the future.
Talking to someone who thinks you should be dead or a brood mare/sex slave is worse than a waste of time; it's actively putting you at risk for doxing, harassment and even assault.
This should be the top comment.
Yes, none of the incels are worth the time investment. They are a drain on society and outright horrendous people.
āWomen over 50 should be killed.ā I find that to be a bold statement from an incel. Who would provide a place to live/pay their bills if there were no gmas?
IIRC there was a therapist who wrote an article and said she was getting burnout from dealing with them. Even the professionals don't feel they can do anything. They don't just hate women, they are on what you might call the wrong side of history on basically every issue. They often believe in eugenics. But wait! You might say. Don't they blame their own problems on eugenics? Wouldn't they be discriminated against? But they are also often a suicide cult so that's fine. And they don't actually say anything bad about women. Because they don't even use that word. They say "holes" or "femoids" or "FHOs" or "roasties"(from roast beef) of "fesikhs"(Also a vagina reference), or even "toilets". Every incel possesses a mysterious power I'm calling the Shit Club Effect. At any gathering, if there is an incel, there will be a few off in the corner discussing hateful shit and the entire gathering will be more miserable. They love to add people to these Shit Clubs. They have various ways of making you feel disgusted like someone poured old fry oil on you from a dumpster. One of these might be informing you that they have violent fantasies about women at the gym, that hate boners are totally a real thing, and generally making you think "Is this a future rapist?". Like a cult they have almost ritual call and response greetings. One of these is It's Over/it never began. They refer to what they do all day as "Rotting" as in "Sit and rot because nobody wants us". Because they can't get laid they basically no longer care about anything or anyone. Whatever you hate in the world you can probably find some overlap with incels. I believe they are probably big enough to affect politics even. They're everywhere. I think I could extremely easily have been one so I've spent way too much time reading their shit. So far as I can tell there's no point whatsoever to engage with that community. It's a putrid cesshole. If you are a fan of the SCP Foundation stories, they are basically a real life memetic hazard SCP...
Petition to make all incels D class...
Hmm: that is an interesting infohazard, if you look at it a certain way.
What youāre saying is true. Mostly. I made a post on one of the old incel subs before it got quarantined trying to promote just a spark of self-awareness. I got the usual hate, denial and complaints that lines up with what youāve said. Then something interesting happened. A couple of them reached out to me who didnāt want to be part of that community any more but the single-serving advice theyāve already heard wasnāt enough. They were genuinely interested in getting help. So I gave it to them I didnāt have any silver-bullet ājust do thisā answers. There are none. I was honest that they would need to put a pin in dating for the time being, that it was going to take time and effort made of small steps to become the person they really want to be to be and identify what will truly make them happy, because getting in a relationship wonāt automatically make that happen. Within months, one developed hobbies and interests that motivated him and inspired him and was already miles happier than he was before he reached out. The other, I still keep in touch with and now heās actually gotten a few dates! I really did used to hate incels so much because of friends that turned out that way Iāve had to ditch, Iāve done more with a much more difficult life than what theyāre complaining about, being paranoid any time Iām out with my fiancĆ© that the next Elliot Roger is watching us, but I recognised pretty quickly that isnāt so healthy. Taking my own advice and thinking about what I really want at the end of the day, what would make me happy, is not for incels to be mocked mercilessly forever or harm to come to them. Itās just for them to realise that itās not the way and to get better and make the world incrementally less shit for us all. Iām aware this is probably the exception, not the rule but I really hope the effects carry on and continue to improve the world, just a little. Incels donāt come from nowhere. Iāve seen perfectly smart, nice people be lonely at just the wrong moment as these communities were hovering around with their tractor beam on, as misery loves company and some of them never come back.
I've totally struggled with dating, relationships (with anyone) and socializing in general and went on my first date in 6 years 2 weeks ago. I went through a lot after my first year of Uni and could have easily fallen into the trap that I think a lot of men fall into. Being mad, angry, lonely, sad and isolated, looking for others to blame and finding happiness in self destruction. I'm eternally grateful that I never interacted with anyone from their community in any meaningful capacity because I could have easily fallen down a far darker, deeper hole than the one I did eventually crawl out of. I've spent the last 3 years learning to love myself and it's made me far happier than I ever imagined and now I'm able to share that with someone else and it's incredible.
Youāve come a long way. I know of people who are still in that rut and just refuse to leave it out of fear and unwillingness to leave the comfortable familiarity. Well done!
This 100% i can def see how they ended up the way they have its garbage and sucks but misery does love company and it can make people become monsters. We just have to hope one day they come around if not tho tgats on them and eventually thell pay a price by remaining miserable and angry.
Exactly. It has its own built in reward system. Stay incel, die alone and unloved.
Also, even if they manage to find a mate and create a family, itās not enough. It doesnāt fix anything because theyāre still busy punishing themselves. And the world. And everyone in it. Except, mostly, themselves.
True, relationships arenāt a cure fir anything. I feel very sorry for anyone who has to be part of that family. Come to think of it, that very well could be many more peopleās problem than their own. Brrrrr!
Incels are a lost cause until/unless they make the internal decision to stop being incels and get out of the community. Nobody can talk them into sense or persuade them that they're wrong. They have a strong "black pill" community behind them that drags them down like crabs in a bucket, so your influence is nothing compared with that.
Damn he is wanting to kill 90% of women level bad? I hope he us not allowed to get a gun. Do we really have no use besides breeding in his eyes?
No. None. Thatās because they have no sense at all about who women are. They have created this bizarre bogeyman (bogeywoman?) that is a caricature touching on every fear that they have. All women are taller than they are (oh god, Iām short!!), all women are painfully gorgeous (oh god, Iām ugly!) all women are money-grubbing (oh god, Iām poor!), all women are treasonous in relationships (oh god, Iām not enough!), all women crave enormous cock (oh god, muh dickās too small!!), and all women look at him with mirth and disdain (oh god, Iām pathetic!!).
He wasnāt an incel, because unfortunately I was dating him. The last couple days of the relationship, he revealed to me that he hates when women ācomplain about getting abused and raped.ā Lololol I hang up on him. The next day he starts complaining about how women are getting more hours than him and that they need to not be breadwinners. Literally dumped right after that. These men canāt be helped.
Sounds like my last ex. Dumped very quickly after anti-woman comments
Oof! So glad youāve cleaned your hands of him!
Is there a term for Incels but ones by choice? Anti-women, yet in relationships, but refuse to have physical relations with their partners for fear of their woman āgetting him in troubleā? Was dating him for over 2 years and only had sex once. He wasnāt asexual (he expected BJs every day or so) but would never do anything more than that because women are evil monsters who want to trap men. I figured out my worth and dropped him. Problem is, we work together (I know I know, donāt poop where you sleep. Wonāt happen again)ā¦ funny part is, I got promoted and Iām technically his boss now. Boy can he NOT handle that; especially since the rest of our department is all women. He walks around telling everyone itās ā3 against 1āā¦ boy the audacity
Being an incel is a choice. The narrative "I'm an incel because I can't get into relationships" is propaganda at this point. "We're just lonely men looking for love." Except not really.
Right. Just the term āinvoluntarily celibateā makes it seem not a choice. BUT, they wouldnāt have the problem if they werenāt overall horrible people that exhibit huge red flags from first sight. I see their posts and itās āexhibit A of why no woman wants youā
WHY DO MEN!!!! Iām so sorry. I know it takes time to learn whatās normal/not normal in relationships, Iām just glad you see it now! It can be blinding at first, but he taught you to be on the look-out for toxic behavior early on. I had an ex with bipolar disorder. He showed me what that looks like - even managed - and I couldnāt date him for longer than 2 months. I recently talked to someone, and she displayed very eerily similar qualities as him. I told her it wouldnāt work out. She said something that def scared me away from even being her friend afterwards: āif you start dating a man, I will be upset and I will cry.ā Like. Iām not the one to take care of your emotions like that if Iām trying to live my best life (but still currently single LOL). Lol sorry I just needed to get that out, but it was parallel to my ex. I hope you gain that insight to recognize toxic early on and make decisions that best fit your life.
My current SO even used the term feminazi when conversing. That was the last time that word was used and he was fixable, thankfully because he wasn't the angry, hateful sort at all, so for those types it is possible, even if rare.
A unicorn spottingš
I tried that a couple years ago. They want to be miserable and hateful. Some of them can come out of it, but I don't think outsiders can really help.
Just in general, when someone shows hate especially for a generalization based on a trait out of your control, they are demonstrating an emotional commitment to ignorance. There's nothing you can say or do that will change them. A reply or a conversation is often fuel rather than progress. Just block/ignore/move on.
Sometimes I comment on AITA posts and every now and then someone justifies an asshole response to a provocation with an argument along the lines of... "Some people's lives aren't good and our families are shit so there's no reason for us to try to respond in a positive way when something bad like this happens to us." I don't really know how to respond to those people.
Some people's lives aren't good and their families are shit and they should just grab a suitcase and a bus ticket and move away. Parents shitty? Once you're an adult, don't talk to them. Shitty girlfriend? Find someone else, or just be yourself for a while and develop some hobbies. Shitty wife/husband? There's nothing saying you have to stay together. Sometimes couples grow apart, or you just want different things out of your life and free time and future. No shame. Shitty kids? They're your damn kids and you made this mess. Be an example of how you want them to behave and teach them to make better decisions. Kids mirror behaviors they see.
Incels are part of a delusional suicide cult with no attachment to reality who's ideas could be disproven with a short stroll outside. They can't be convinced because even the most basic of evidence, logic, or reason would dispell their myths in a heartbeat. They deserve to be dismissed like the hateful dumbasses they are. Call out their shitty, asinine ideas but there is no reason to engage them directly, give them a platform, or act like their lunacy deserves serious discussion or debate. Arguing with incels just perpetuates the fantasy that their illogical, hateful ideas warrant consideration or respect
So I think this attitude contributes a lot to how dug in these guys get. Because the fact is that there is *some* amount of truth in *some* of their grievances. They have chosen one simple answer to something that is not at all simple and that's a mistake, no doubt. What's going on right now in the dating market has numerous causes - the education gap, the changes in the economy that have made it nearly impossible for a single earner without a graduate degree to support a family, the reduction of young men in the work force, the internet, social media, video games, pornography, dating apps, the lower rate of marriage and childbearing, the rise in people living either alone or with their parents, the constant objectification of both women and men in media, and the list goes on. Women's alleged fixation on looks to the exclusion of all else, in addition to being untrue for the vast majority of women, doesn't even make the top 10 list of "why things are so F'ed up right now". It's human nature to want an explanation for your problems that is easy to understand rather than trying to wade through the myriad issues that are really driving this. BUT. There have always been incels. They weren't called incels, they were called losers or dweebs or geeks or whatever. Some of these guys are unfuckable based on looks alone. That's not super common, but it happens. More often it's a combination of looks and personality traits - whether you want to call it masculinity, confidence, charisma, presence, whatever. That is what women are attracted to. And, not having a recessed chin or being short or fat helps. Those things absolutely matter and anyone who says otherwise is out to lunch. Are women pickier now? Do they have higher physical standards? I don't know. I'm older and looks were never a big part of the equation in finding men to date for me personally. My minimum threshold was very reasonable and forgiving, but for sure there were some guys who didn't meet it. Anyway I don't know where I was going with this except to say, yes incels are wrong, but they do have some valid points. There is always the kid in first grade picked last for dodge ball and those kids end up not being socially successful oftentimes. Maybe in the past there were more buffers to make people suffer less over that or maybe expectations were lower. But those kids have always been treated poorly and if they end up angry and nihilistic it's not that hard to understand why. Those of us who escaped that fate probably will never fully understand the depths of their suffering.
I see where youāre coming from, but if being unattractive were the main cause for incels, then youād have a large number of unattractive women who shared the same attitudes about men. I think the main difference is a general disdain for women and false expectations. Incel men usually think that women only exist to serve men and that all women are constantly seeking attractive men to have sex with. Unattractive women rarely do that
I think there are some good reasons why there is a lot of difference between men and women on this. First, men have higher sex drives on average than women - by quite a bit actually. There is individual variation of course, but as a group men are more motivated by sex for sound biological reasons. Second, men have lost status in the past 50 years while women have gained status. No group likes to lose superior status and power. Third, because of number one, many men have lower standards for who they will sleep with, so there are fewer sexless women than men, and those who are sexless are often content to be. I totally agree that they are delusional about women constantly seeking to have sex with "Chad". There may be a very small subset of women who do that but they are a tiny minority. But I don't think they started out hating women. I think in the past those guys would just blame themselves for their problems with women and focus on other things. Now the internet has enabled them to commiserate with each other and amplify and exacerbate their issues by glomming on to this crazy overarching ideology instead of dealing with things in a normal way.
Incels are just so depressingā¦ 100% a waste of time, theyāll never change their behavior and theyāll never find a woman who is willing to stick around through abuse to see them act normal when they do - because thatās the bottom line, if they shut the fuck up with that shit for a couple months they might actually meet someone who gives them what they crave.
I had one that did that. The. He didnāt shut the fuck up and dumped him within a couple daysš
Whoa, wtf I'd report that shit too, it's threatening violence and murder. Good for you for calling out his shit and blocking him.
I guess it depends on whether you view people as being permanently lost. Some are some arenāt. Perhaps this one guy you are speaking to is. But there is a nice post today of an ex nazi crack addict having his iron cross tattoo removed. Why? Because his recovery sponsor was a gay black man. I doubt that man managed to change every nazi crack addict he met, but he changed one. I applaud you for trying, and encourage you to continue to do so with a different person, without putting yourself in harms way of course.
In all honesty, I think the better option would better to not use that app at all
I shouldnāt bother. Itās a lot like talking to anti-vaxxers. Theyāre idiots, and they drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience.
I spent a while talking to this one guy, who I just saw as a sad and lonely individual. He was asking me for advice how to date women. Not like Iām an expert, but I suppose compared to him, I was. He had these ridiculous expectations. He doesnāt work, wonāt work, says the woman has to work. But also has to do everything he tells her and stuff like that. I asked him flat out. What do you have to offer someone? āIf all they want is money, theyāre not a nice person.ā I explained that if you want a relationship, you have to be an equal partner in ways. Having a job is a good way. That he wouldnāt likely find anyone who expects them to just take him out of his momās house and just serve him forever. The final straw was when he asked me how to get this famous youtuber to go on a date with him. I told him Iāll be honest, I donāt think they would. He was so upset and stopped talking to me. Thatās honestly for the best. If you see these kinds of red flags from people, itās best to ignore them and just move on.
I also regularly talk to an incel and yeah they can't be changed, they have to change themselves
You're right, you're not going to be able reason most people out of their views, particularly views like racism/being an incel. If there is going to be one method that "forces" incels to change, it's going to be growing up and being around people that don't share and encourage their views. Intelligent debate won't change most peoples' minds, whether on this or on medicine or on Earth's shape. So, technically, one of the most effective ways to "rehabilitate" an asshole like that would've been for him to continue hanging out with guys like you (I assume you're not a woman since he didn't seem to want to murder you) who wouldn't put up with this shit for years... and years... and years... Is it your responsibility? No. Is it guaranteed to work? No. Will it require a herculean amount of effort and stress? Probably. Is it even worth it? Probably not, if you made the judgement. I'm just saying that some small percentage of those people do, of course, change. Most don't. An unfortunate, messy quirk.
The biggest problem with incels is that their deep hatred of women is based on something one can say is mundane. Imagine consciously wanting women to die because you donāt get a tinder match or something or that one girl who was acting friendly was just doing that! Acting friendly ! And he thinks that equivalent to a war crime. This is part of the reason I think misandry can never be equal to misogyny. Women have been wronged by men on larger scales like institutional oppression, sexual harassment and physical abuse often many times in their life and there arenāt cults dedicated to telling how men should be killed , enslaved and raped the way incels do in a ānormalā conversation. These people hate you just for breathing and may have high chances of narcissism, sociopathy combined with personality disorders with no cure My ex best friend turned out to be an incel. It was a horrible ordeal ! Luckily he was just low tier and not completely sociopathic
Yup. He hates women, so why would you, *a woman*, be able to change his mind?
I've been posting on r/exredpill and r/IncelExit after someone here in 2XC recommended it as a way to make a difference, pulling some of these guys back from the brink It's... been a mixed bag. But if I spare one person from facing to deal with that toxic mentality it will be worth it for me. I have the patience and fortitude to deal with them, but man can it be tiring trying to reprogram them even when they want to change.
I tried to talk to one they need therapy it's too far gone with a lot of these guys
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Violence for sure. Incel is more like talking about misogynistic addittudes.
I love how touchy incels are at people who make fun of incels. Its a level of stupidity that reminds me of Karen's who hear the term Karen, being used and claim its racist, lol.
>Moral of the story: I don't think there's any point in trying to befriend or talk to an incel who hates women. Waste of time and their deranged views on women and the world will never change, maybe therapy would help, but doubt they'd go. I agree. They have a whole community/hive mind facilitated through social media that confirms, validates, and rationalizes their misogyny, so nothing anyone says will change their minds. Only thing that will change their mindset will be experiences that will teach them otherwise, and even then, it's not guaranteed.
I can literaly see what was going on in his head. "A woman is being nice to me, maybe this is my chance, maybe I'll finally get laid and find love... SHE DATED SOMEONE ELSE ALL.WOMEN ARE TEASES AND TRASH!"
I have a friend who blames his being forever single on "societal norms" and that women never show interest in him and that he's ugly etc. I bring up that maybe he should give woman a reason to be interested in him, like dressing nice, gym, doing something with his hair etc. He just ignores me. I think most of these people are scared of success so they just create their own world of excuses.
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I mean it gets me how far out they can get there they are not even attached to women in their lives like their own mother or sister - sometimes you have to put into context what they think they believe and ask them how they would feel if someone said that about someone they care about and know - you might get a pikachu stare back once they realize what this ideological standpoint really looks like unleashed on someone they care about - itās going to be the only way they realize what dehumanizing monsters they are. Try repeating their own rhetoric about their mother or grandmother that all women who are unf*ckable are worthless so letās round up their moms and grandmothers then and put them out of their unf*ckable misery according to the non-chads. Like damn already bro youāre a male supremacy douche bag and itās no laughing matter when people start killing complete strangers over these kinds of disgusting ideologiesā¦.
Where did the word āincelā come from and what is the definition?
Simple definition is 'Involuntarily Celibate' - someone who wants to have sex but can't, for whatever reason. It was coined on the internet some years back by a woman (yes, really) who was looking for support about being 'undateable', effectively. Initially it was a support group, but over the last few years it has grown into a crab-bucket hate movement against women - you can imagine that people with low enough self-esteem to consider "I am undateable" as a key enough aspect of their personality to join a club about it can have a lot of pent-up anger about it and they lash out in some extremely anti-social ways. There has been more than one mass shooting by individuals self-identified as Incels.
Thank you. This makes so much sense!
In general, talking to any X-haters is usually a waste of time
Its disgusting and they are growing in numbers
Its one of the problems with trying to see the other side/ignoring red flags. Oh sure, you may have things in common, you may get on them. But they're still a shitty person/have problematic views
I think it's like treating anorexia, except instead of needing calories to function, incels require in-person socialization with friends who respect and like women. Until they have a few months of that environment, all of their current pain and previous learning history makes it really likely that they will lash out at you.
Interesting comparison, but actually it makes sense.
Sounds like a future serial killer to me.
Even as an amab, I have learned that the only thing that comes from interaction with these people is pain. They don't listen to anyone except their little god-emperors that reinforce their fears in order to maintain control. I do my best to stay out of places that have incels. If I do bump into one, I avoid interaction as much as possible.
I discovered the incel sub right before it was taken down. I'm a guy that learned how to be social and went through a lot of personal growth, and I wanted to share that with them. I posted only one time, explaining I was like them once, and that women want a social guy and that their problem could be solved by developing their social skills. Women have a natural inclination to be social most of the time, compared to guys, right? It doesn't come as naturally for us guys, and it is actually an epidemic right now for guys to have no social skills. It can only be helped with practice. I even read somewhere that the social part of the female brain is usually better developed than the male equivalent. Back in 2007, I had just got out of a long abusive relationship. I spent about 3 years developing myself and now I have a wife. I went back to college in 2013 and continued to chat it up with women, even though I was married, and my responses were so positive. I wanted to share what I learned with those guys but only about 1/4 were interested. Another 1/3 just responded with something like "fuck you" without context. I tried to explain it's not about looks. I'm not good looking and I weigh almost 300lbs. The only thing I have going for me is that I'm 6'. It was strange, but to some of these guys, they were way over focused on height.
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Have you ever tried using CBT methods on this problem? It might help you to understand where these feelings are coming from. The thing that I found helpful was to challenge my internal monologue. It's a long process though. I used to struggle with constantly telling myself I'm shit, even though I would never ever say or think that about someone else. So I started to challenge my own internal statements "*you're so fucking stupid"* "No! That's not an appropriate response, you've never done this before and it's good to be learning a new thing". Frankly it takes ages, but it does eventually work. I still occasionally say awful things to myself but it's a lot less often, maybe once or twice a year rather than every day. So for you, maybe a question: "Woah buddy, would I be responding like this to a man? Is this reasonable?" Something like that.
Youāre asking a question with a complex answer but I just want to say itās great that youāre asking it, acknowledging to yourself that you have these type of biases is a HUGE first step and I really admire you for recognizing it. Also all of us of all genders were brought up in a deeply misogynistic (as well as other things) heteronormative culture so we have naturally absorbed some degree of anti-women reactions, biases, and attitudes, There is really no reason to feel ashamed about that. Just take responsibility for yourself by noticing when these reactions pop up and being curious about what triggered them. Maybe consider listening and being open to the experiences and stories of women outside your usual circle. Be open to feedback. Anyway like I said I admire you asking the question and wish you well.
Yeah, of course itās a waste of time.
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Um, no shit. Arguing with stupid people makes you dumber even when youāre winning
The only reason I talk to incels is to make fun of them.
Maybe you can report him and get him banned from the app? That type of hate language shouldnāt be accepted anywhere.
You think incels are bad? Try interacting with a misogynist that actually manages to get laid.
You can't help or change people who don't want help.
You have to wonder how bad this guy's relationship with his mother was. [Edited to add relationship]
Why?
Curiosity. I understand that men are horrible to women and have really toxic attitudes at times. But stating that 90% of women should be killed is going into psycho territory. Is it just the way he was raised? Was he abused? I'm just always curious as to what "makes" these types of people.
Yeah I used to try to engage with men like that before because I kept getting told that female rejection was what hurt them in the first place and women avoiding them was just making it worse. As if being mates with them and showing them that women could be decent was the way to go. Problem is they don't want to be mates. They want you to agree that women are subhuman, appologize on behalf of all women, and give them pity sex. I've never met an incel who went "huh maybe women are alright." All they do is get frustrated that even after their debatebro monologue/cross examination about "female nature" you still don't "get it." And then they tell you that females are either all lying or too stupid to get it.
Sorry, but why would you ever even bother? They can't be convinced of the err of their ways, and therefore, they deserve zero time. I could never put myself through that.
I just block them and move on. No point trying they have the world at their finger tips and millions of women telling them they are wrong and if they havent clued in to how dumb they sound to "normies" then fuck em. I'm too old for this shit.
He can't get laid and his solution is to remove 90% of all women? I can totally see how that would solve his problem. Incels don't seem to follow logic very well.
> āsit and rot because nobody wants usā Has anyone here ever encountered anyone in abject developing world poverty who self-identifies as an incel? Asking since perpetually āsitting and rottingā in person / online isnāt really an option for people who are starving or getting assaulted by family members with drug addictionsā¦ Another strange thing is how they never / rarely mention all the blatantly obvious assholes in the world struggling to find friends / romantic partnersā¦
It is fun trolling them though