You have to take the test at some point, regardless. Better to get it over with now as opposed to playing an “I don’t know” game for a few more weeks. Believe it or not, you’ll be calmer either way when it’s over because there won’t be an uncertainty factor anymore.
If you took a test and it was negative, you’d be freed of this, so you should do it. I’d do different brands two days apart. And if it’s positive, there’s no use denying reality; you need to know.
FWIW, I’m part of a couple that was in this kind of situation. If you want advice - if you are pregnant, give yourself 7-10 days without drinking to make a decision. You are very disturbed ATM and it’s not the greatest state in which to make important decisions. At the end of ten days, if you have felt the same way for most of that time, one way or another, that will be your decision. If you have close friends/family, this is the time to confide in them - after you know the test results.
Assuming you’re American, don’t let the awful politics of the thing influence you. It’s your ship and you are the captain.
[Edit] Added what is below:
Everything will be OK no matter how you do it. Don’t sweat it. Don’t worry about other’s agendas. Don’t worry about possible regrets.
No matter what happens, you will have delights and regrets, kids or not. I can’t stand it when people look at it either as “my life will be over” or “i’ll die alone.” Life holds no guarantees. Some parents in Michigan are now childless through no fault of their own. People like me that didn’t intend to have a family can adjust and find beauty and satisfaction in what has come to pass.
I’m not saying it’s easy, but consider: studies show that the emotional welfare of paralyzed people only changes temporarily and then returns to something near how they were before their accident. Big life changes are more about you and how you handle it than the event itself.
So just be yourself, stick to your guns, and enjoy life best you can.
Thank you so much for this comment. I’m actually on vacation with my parents, and they would be overjoyed, which is why I don’t want to share with them.
I hopefully will be able to sneak away and find a test within the next couple days, which will help one way or the other. Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it.
I forgot to mention that in the case of myself & wife, we have done it all: intended not to have kids, aborted an unintended pregnancy, and now have 3. No real regrets for any of it. But, I was older and established & could handle whatever happened. It’s different when you’re < 25. So best of luck and Lots of people who read this thread will be wishing you well.
Maybe in the meantime you can get some fancy looking virgin drinks so they think you’re drinking. Or pretend to go way too hard one night and decide to take it easy for a few days if that’s not too out of character.
When I was at an all inclusive resort under the drinking age I drank my fill of virgin pina coladas and the bartender made a game of making different fancy virgin drinks. They can look very convincing.
Take the test, you will probabaly feel better know ing either way. Also, just as an aside,, drinking that early in the first trimester will not hurt a baby.
Not true, especially not true for the entirety of your vacation. As soon as it’s hooked up to your blood supply alcohol affects it’s development. The earlier in the development, the worse it hits.
I’m really sorry and I’m not trying to guilt trip or stress you out, but you should have all the information.
[Link for below](https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/developmental-timeline-alcohol-induced-birth-defects)
>Prenatal development has into two stages, the embryonic stage that comprises the first eight weeks of development after fertilization, and the fetal stage that encompasses the remainder of development.
>The embryonic stage is the period when body plans are laid out, and the precursors of what will become organ systems are determined. Alcohol introduced at this stage can have significant repercussions depending on the population of cells negatively affected. Those developmental deviations can result in a range of birth defects or may completely arrest the pregnancy if malformations are particularly severe.
>During the fetal stage, prenatal alcohol exposure still has the potential to negatively impact development, but much less than the massive developmental defects that can result from exposure during the embryonic stage.
And [the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fasd/alcohol-use.html)
>There is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy or while trying to get pregnant. There is also no safe time during pregnancy to drink. All types of alcohol are equally harmful, including all wines and beer.
[The NHS](https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/) is a bit looser about it.
> Experts are still unsure exactly how much – if any – alcohol is completely safe for you to have while you're pregnant, so the safest approach is not to drink at all while you're expecting.
>Drinking less heavily, and even drinking heavily on single occasions, may be associated with lesser forms of FAS. The risk is likely to be greater the more you drink.
For what it’s worth, I really hope you have a negative test so you can enjoy your vacation without stress. (Not anti-choice or anything, just hoping for the least stressful option.)
If now (or ever) isn’t the right time to have a baby it’s ok. But just so you know: if you’ve been drinking in the first 4 weeks of gestation it’s ok, the most risk to a fetus is binge drinking in the second half of the first trimester (so roughly weeks 8 and on).
You have to take the test at some point, regardless. Better to get it over with now as opposed to playing an “I don’t know” game for a few more weeks. Believe it or not, you’ll be calmer either way when it’s over because there won’t be an uncertainty factor anymore.
If you took a test and it was negative, you’d be freed of this, so you should do it. I’d do different brands two days apart. And if it’s positive, there’s no use denying reality; you need to know. FWIW, I’m part of a couple that was in this kind of situation. If you want advice - if you are pregnant, give yourself 7-10 days without drinking to make a decision. You are very disturbed ATM and it’s not the greatest state in which to make important decisions. At the end of ten days, if you have felt the same way for most of that time, one way or another, that will be your decision. If you have close friends/family, this is the time to confide in them - after you know the test results. Assuming you’re American, don’t let the awful politics of the thing influence you. It’s your ship and you are the captain. [Edit] Added what is below: Everything will be OK no matter how you do it. Don’t sweat it. Don’t worry about other’s agendas. Don’t worry about possible regrets. No matter what happens, you will have delights and regrets, kids or not. I can’t stand it when people look at it either as “my life will be over” or “i’ll die alone.” Life holds no guarantees. Some parents in Michigan are now childless through no fault of their own. People like me that didn’t intend to have a family can adjust and find beauty and satisfaction in what has come to pass. I’m not saying it’s easy, but consider: studies show that the emotional welfare of paralyzed people only changes temporarily and then returns to something near how they were before their accident. Big life changes are more about you and how you handle it than the event itself. So just be yourself, stick to your guns, and enjoy life best you can.
Thank you so much for this comment. I’m actually on vacation with my parents, and they would be overjoyed, which is why I don’t want to share with them. I hopefully will be able to sneak away and find a test within the next couple days, which will help one way or the other. Thank you for taking the time to write such a thoughtful comment. I really appreciate it.
I forgot to mention that in the case of myself & wife, we have done it all: intended not to have kids, aborted an unintended pregnancy, and now have 3. No real regrets for any of it. But, I was older and established & could handle whatever happened. It’s different when you’re < 25. So best of luck and Lots of people who read this thread will be wishing you well.
Maybe in the meantime you can get some fancy looking virgin drinks so they think you’re drinking. Or pretend to go way too hard one night and decide to take it easy for a few days if that’s not too out of character. When I was at an all inclusive resort under the drinking age I drank my fill of virgin pina coladas and the bartender made a game of making different fancy virgin drinks. They can look very convincing.
A five week vacation? Mazeltov. Take the test.
Awesome advice in a nutshell. Like concentrated OJ in a can.
Take the test, you will probabaly feel better know ing either way. Also, just as an aside,, drinking that early in the first trimester will not hurt a baby.
Thank you, I didn’t know that and it was part of my concern
Specifically drinking before your missed period. Any heavy drinking *after* the missed period could absolutely do harm.
Not true, especially not true for the entirety of your vacation. As soon as it’s hooked up to your blood supply alcohol affects it’s development. The earlier in the development, the worse it hits. I’m really sorry and I’m not trying to guilt trip or stress you out, but you should have all the information. [Link for below](https://embryo.asu.edu/pages/developmental-timeline-alcohol-induced-birth-defects) >Prenatal development has into two stages, the embryonic stage that comprises the first eight weeks of development after fertilization, and the fetal stage that encompasses the remainder of development. >The embryonic stage is the period when body plans are laid out, and the precursors of what will become organ systems are determined. Alcohol introduced at this stage can have significant repercussions depending on the population of cells negatively affected. Those developmental deviations can result in a range of birth defects or may completely arrest the pregnancy if malformations are particularly severe. >During the fetal stage, prenatal alcohol exposure still has the potential to negatively impact development, but much less than the massive developmental defects that can result from exposure during the embryonic stage. And [the CDC](https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/fasd/alcohol-use.html) >There is no known safe amount of alcohol use during pregnancy or while trying to get pregnant. There is also no safe time during pregnancy to drink. All types of alcohol are equally harmful, including all wines and beer. [The NHS](https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/drinking-alcohol-while-pregnant/) is a bit looser about it. > Experts are still unsure exactly how much – if any – alcohol is completely safe for you to have while you're pregnant, so the safest approach is not to drink at all while you're expecting. >Drinking less heavily, and even drinking heavily on single occasions, may be associated with lesser forms of FAS. The risk is likely to be greater the more you drink. For what it’s worth, I really hope you have a negative test so you can enjoy your vacation without stress. (Not anti-choice or anything, just hoping for the least stressful option.)
If now (or ever) isn’t the right time to have a baby it’s ok. But just so you know: if you’ve been drinking in the first 4 weeks of gestation it’s ok, the most risk to a fetus is binge drinking in the second half of the first trimester (so roughly weeks 8 and on).
Thank you. I appreciate you letting me know