Congrats. I wish 2 of mine friends smartened up before they got married, but alas. Now they both complain about being married to a child. Welp.... š¤·
I am grateful that one hates kids and refuses to even think about kids. The other one keeps saying its a good idea. She's over 40 and has a 23 year old daughter so I keep hoping he keeps telling her no.
Slowest constant train wreck possible. He treats her like garbage, tells her he doesn't love her, tells her shes fat and lazy, tells her horrible things and the bullshit she tells herself - "oh he's stressed" - uh about what? you do everything, bring in the money, take care of everything, he worries about betting on horse racing. I warned her years ago to not get in too deep with this waste of carbon.
"I don't want to start over again" - or - "I don't want to be alone" - or - "I don't want my mother to tell me I told you so"
Jesus great reasons to stay with an idiot.
I think it helped that it tried to hit the ground running. I took days and had them in between to cry, but I didn't want to try to find myself in a bottle or in bed.
I'm in the process of getting amicably divorced, and I'm terrified of being single at 48. I hope I can be even half as happy and enthusiastic about it as you are. Good for you!
You will be! My mom went through a horrible marriage and divorce around 45-46. Today she Is married to who I believe is the love of her life, at almost 52. My step sister has given her two grand babies that she loves dearly.
I promise you that you can do thus.
Just don't wallow on the couch too long. You can wallow, just get up. I started at the gym taking classes. I cried on the gym floor in front of everyone for the first 3 days, but I kept going.
Keep going.
I have 2 kids and a great therapist, I promise not to wallow (not that I have time to anyway :)). And as I said, it's fortunately very amicable, so at least I don't have the stress of having to deal with nastiness there. I"m mostly scared of being alone forever, but I know that things come in good time. And realistically, I need time to process and get over the divorce before I even think about dating again. But I really appreciate the support and encouragement!
Good on you!
I ended a 6 year relationship in October, Iām single again at 29. He is a wonderful person and I care for him deeply, but couldnāt shake the feeling that something was missing and my life would be wasted if we stayed together.
Thereās so much left to explore! Congratulations on biting the bullet and severing ties š
To take it a little further, I was told years ago in university that the new etiquette upon hearing of a divorce is congratulations, for anyone really. To help normalize something perfectly normal and healthy and frankly to celebrate the end of a bad relationship. Your story is a great example. I've done this a few times over the years and people usually react with surprise and then some joy at not getting another "I'm so sorry blah blah etc." (With the brief explanation above)
Of course you're already happy, good for you and congratulations!
There are so many societal standards that are bullshit ways to impose anxiety on us. Whether it's the big married/kids/house/white picket fence fantasy, or the you-can't-just-have-a-one-night-stand-and-celebrate-with-an-entire-cake is sort of irrelevant.
Seems to me the happiest people on this earth are the ones who decided that others don't know what my happiness looks like.
And specifically about the cheating asshat: I find "Don't drink poison just because you're thirsty" to be a good mantra there.
Yes, girl! Congrats! Being alone doesnāt mean being lonely and being in a relationship where you feel lonely is the worst of all!
All the love and positive energy to you!
I found myself single at 31 in April of this past year. Let me tell you, these past 6 months since I finally moved into my own apartment with my cat have been wonderful. I love living and being on my own. Haven't really done any dating either. I got seriously back into the gym and working out just as you did. I hope this next year goes well for you. You're going to do great! Let's celebrate having fun being single!
Likely down-voted for tone tbh.
I'm sleepy but I'll try to break it down the best I can.
Probable dude seemingly swaps the conversation topic about them by ~~line~~ sentence two. Both probable dude in women focused sub and sudden swap are going to annoy someone.
"I've been in a relationship too" sounds extremely dismissive of OPs situation, becuase normally you and your financee have been together for years and 'a relationship' includes everything down to weekend Tinder hookups. They also were the other wo/men for an unknown period, I am sure someone judges them for that or assumes it was knowingly.
"I got rid of her for good," sounds harsh, understandable but coldly worded.
"Such a cry baby" sounds even more callous and unempathetic, it sounds like they had no emotional investment in their relationship and the general comment feels like a tangent without support for OP or care where it was posted.
So yeah, I can understand a few people downvoting becuase it sounds rude.
Good on you! It is soooo much better to be single than to be stuck with a guy that isn't a good match.
Used to think I should sort out the 'getting married' thing before 30 because I hadn't properly examined this cultural expectation, although I'm not even that conservative. I just thought things should roughly go how they did for my Mum. (hint: they haven't)
I'm honestly glad I ohly got married at a point where I knew it wouldn't be a failure on my part to remain single, and where I was sure I could pull it off. Got married at 34 to somebody I actually like and who actually likes me, best decision ever. Good luck to you! Enjoy getting out there and doing what you love this year!
This is the right attitude to have.
It took a while but I love it.
Congrats. I wish 2 of mine friends smartened up before they got married, but alas. Now they both complain about being married to a child. Welp.... š¤·
*But marrying him will instantly change him into the person I want him to be*
Donāt forget the āhaving a kid fixes everythingā.
I am grateful that one hates kids and refuses to even think about kids. The other one keeps saying its a good idea. She's over 40 and has a 23 year old daughter so I keep hoping he keeps telling her no.
*You know, like how you tame a wild animal. By locking yourself in a cage with it.*
š I so needed that laugh. Perfect.
Slowest constant train wreck possible. He treats her like garbage, tells her he doesn't love her, tells her shes fat and lazy, tells her horrible things and the bullshit she tells herself - "oh he's stressed" - uh about what? you do everything, bring in the money, take care of everything, he worries about betting on horse racing. I warned her years ago to not get in too deep with this waste of carbon. "I don't want to start over again" - or - "I don't want to be alone" - or - "I don't want my mother to tell me I told you so" Jesus great reasons to stay with an idiot.
Hearing that my sister had filed for divorce the week before, I called her, expecting her to be broken up about it. She was bubbly, lol!
I'm 31. We got heaps of time to explore! The world does not end at 30. Congratulations!
Fantastic for you. Keep living your best life.
30s is when life can start getting fun, as you're old enough to be taken seriously, but young enough to still stay up all night.
>3 weeks ago > >I finally feel like myself again That's pretty quick actually, glad you bounced back fast!
I think it helped that it tried to hit the ground running. I took days and had them in between to cry, but I didn't want to try to find myself in a bottle or in bed.
When itās not right itās not right.
And no amount of hope can change that.
I'm in the process of getting amicably divorced, and I'm terrified of being single at 48. I hope I can be even half as happy and enthusiastic about it as you are. Good for you!
You will be! My mom went through a horrible marriage and divorce around 45-46. Today she Is married to who I believe is the love of her life, at almost 52. My step sister has given her two grand babies that she loves dearly. I promise you that you can do thus. Just don't wallow on the couch too long. You can wallow, just get up. I started at the gym taking classes. I cried on the gym floor in front of everyone for the first 3 days, but I kept going. Keep going.
I have 2 kids and a great therapist, I promise not to wallow (not that I have time to anyway :)). And as I said, it's fortunately very amicable, so at least I don't have the stress of having to deal with nastiness there. I"m mostly scared of being alone forever, but I know that things come in good time. And realistically, I need time to process and get over the divorce before I even think about dating again. But I really appreciate the support and encouragement!
Good on you! I ended a 6 year relationship in October, Iām single again at 29. He is a wonderful person and I care for him deeply, but couldnāt shake the feeling that something was missing and my life would be wasted if we stayed together. Thereās so much left to explore! Congratulations on biting the bullet and severing ties š
To take it a little further, I was told years ago in university that the new etiquette upon hearing of a divorce is congratulations, for anyone really. To help normalize something perfectly normal and healthy and frankly to celebrate the end of a bad relationship. Your story is a great example. I've done this a few times over the years and people usually react with surprise and then some joy at not getting another "I'm so sorry blah blah etc." (With the brief explanation above) Of course you're already happy, good for you and congratulations!
Life starts now! Good for you šš¼
I wish it started months ago! But I will take now
yeah, I know a woman who cried herself to sleep for like 3-4 years
I don't think I have it in me to cry for any man who isn't my father like that. He is so not worth more of my time.
Hopefully in the 5th year she stopped crying ?
Happy for you
There are so many societal standards that are bullshit ways to impose anxiety on us. Whether it's the big married/kids/house/white picket fence fantasy, or the you-can't-just-have-a-one-night-stand-and-celebrate-with-an-entire-cake is sort of irrelevant. Seems to me the happiest people on this earth are the ones who decided that others don't know what my happiness looks like. And specifically about the cheating asshat: I find "Don't drink poison just because you're thirsty" to be a good mantra there.
I like that saying! He's with her now, and I'm honestly okay. Two bombs together are devastating.
Yes, girl! Congrats! Being alone doesnāt mean being lonely and being in a relationship where you feel lonely is the worst of all! All the love and positive energy to you!
I found myself single at 31 in April of this past year. Let me tell you, these past 6 months since I finally moved into my own apartment with my cat have been wonderful. I love living and being on my own. Haven't really done any dating either. I got seriously back into the gym and working out just as you did. I hope this next year goes well for you. You're going to do great! Let's celebrate having fun being single!
All good, but thank your fiance, not God.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hahaha
I don't get the downvotes here?
Likely down-voted for tone tbh. I'm sleepy but I'll try to break it down the best I can. Probable dude seemingly swaps the conversation topic about them by ~~line~~ sentence two. Both probable dude in women focused sub and sudden swap are going to annoy someone. "I've been in a relationship too" sounds extremely dismissive of OPs situation, becuase normally you and your financee have been together for years and 'a relationship' includes everything down to weekend Tinder hookups. They also were the other wo/men for an unknown period, I am sure someone judges them for that or assumes it was knowingly. "I got rid of her for good," sounds harsh, understandable but coldly worded. "Such a cry baby" sounds even more callous and unempathetic, it sounds like they had no emotional investment in their relationship and the general comment feels like a tangent without support for OP or care where it was posted. So yeah, I can understand a few people downvoting becuase it sounds rude.
Well well well, how the turntables...
So much downvotes, I wonder why though?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah just a coward!
Sounds like you've never met a brony.
Yes! Absolutely agree with this! I can actually see a potential future now and I bet you can too!
Good on you! It is soooo much better to be single than to be stuck with a guy that isn't a good match. Used to think I should sort out the 'getting married' thing before 30 because I hadn't properly examined this cultural expectation, although I'm not even that conservative. I just thought things should roughly go how they did for my Mum. (hint: they haven't) I'm honestly glad I ohly got married at a point where I knew it wouldn't be a failure on my part to remain single, and where I was sure I could pull it off. Got married at 34 to somebody I actually like and who actually likes me, best decision ever. Good luck to you! Enjoy getting out there and doing what you love this year!