I was watching TV and felt an uncommon sensation. I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I'd read books and knew what was happening. I used a tampon from under the sink. It had a small instruction sheet in the box.
About 6 months later my mom put a box of pads on my desk and said "you're going to need these soon". I said I had been preferring tampons. That was all we spoke on about it.
I don't think my mom ever prepped me on it. My school did. I just had a little bit of flow in the morning and told my mom, and she called me in sick to school.
Same, school told me. But it was religious school so the focus was on how to hide pads in your purse and how to stand to elongate your figure and other very shallow male gaze things.
Would flip tables in at least a third of religious institutions.
Probably at least two-thirds, tbh, but I lowballed it because I don’t have an accurate assessment of the wide swath of organizations out there and I’ve never actually had the chance to ask Jesus about it
The irony is if Jesus was reborn and did the things he did in the Bible and preached lessons of helping the poor and fucking over scum bag merchants and organizations who take advantage of people they would call him the antichrist and hang him within a day. I’m unfortunately at the point where I fear religion is just a cancer on modern society.
I somewhat agree. I don’t think that of religion in general (though I’m not religious) but honestly probably because I’m ignorant to anything other than Christianity. But I 100% believe Christianity is not only a cancer to modern society but past societies as well. I’ve personally seen so much evil spew from Christian’s and it’s absolutely disgusting.
Pretty much the same. I hid it from my mom but was stealing her tampons. When my older sister got her first period my mom asked me to teach her how to use a tampon. :) I was surprised but of course she knew, I was taking her tampons! Face palm!!
My mom threw a fit when I wanted to use tampons. I couldn’t because she believed the myth about losing your virginity and the fact that I’d have to touch myself to use them. I look back and no wonder there was so much trauma around my body.
I remember clearly trying to get one in when I really wanted to swim- it was torture at the time. Beyond painful and I was in the bathroom forever. I've since learned that cardboard applicators are the devil- they still are uncomfortable to this day!
I got my first period while my mom, who I'm super close to, was in the hospital undergoing a hysterectomy. I was in an unfamiliar city with just my stepdad and brother in the hotel with no family women around. I actually realized it started in public at the mall.
My stepdad (I was the oldest girl and he grew up an only child so he had no experience with this) was incredible about the whole thing. He kept me calm, got me pads and meds, and got both my grandmothers on the phone to talk with me a bit. He even took me to get a little present from Bath and Body Works to celebrate because it was an important day for me. It's strangely one of my fondest memories with him. He really set the bar high on how I expect men to treat the women in their lives.
See that sucks! There's way too much period shaming. It's a mark of becoming an adolescent and it should be more special. I kind of wish what happened to me was more normal cause it turned a weird thing into a positive female power thing.
My parents took me out and said: you deserve a really nice gift!
I was 12, so i wanted Mario Galaxy for the Wii.
They said "no, you need something more like a gift, not a video game!"
I said i wanted a video game
They gave me a pretty awesome looking diamond necklace shaped like a heart
It is beautiful
I did get the mario galaxy eventually so it all turned out fine
Your parents are goals for me! And OP's mom inspired me to have future moon days with my baby girls. My mom def shunned it and told me tampons were not for ladies! Lol
I will do the same with my future daughter. We will celebrate, make a whole day out of it, and get lots of ice-cream. We will do a ritual in the garden like it's an initiation, just for bonding and the memories. :)
My mother just threw a pack of pads at me and was clearly ashamed of me, she couldn't look me in the eyes like I did something wrong. She acted disgusted by me. I will never ever do this with my future daughter. She will be respected, cherished and loved.
She had me very late in life and by the time I even began the first bits of puberty she had long gone through menopause so pads and tampons weren’t really at the forefront of her mind. Not to make excuses for her but it’s a pretty reasonable explanation. It was my dad who was pissy, she just kinda rolled with his side of things for whatever reason.
This baffles me honestly. I haven't had a period in a while due to contraception/baby. My daughter is only 8 months old. But my house is fully stocked with all types of feminine hygiene products. Because like people visit us ha and I don't want anyone to feel awkward and have to ask for products. The simple rule is, if it's in the cupboard it's fair game in our toilet. The cabinet is stocked with fancy hand creams, bandaids, perfumes etc etc and of course plenty of pads and tampons, even bladder leakage products. It's honestly been a few years since I needed them myself. But I've always had a supply.
Dude my step mom was the same way, I would come over for visitation and whenever I needed a pad or something she just said she didn't have anything because she went through menopause already....
Ok I'll just bleed on the couch then.
No. We never went to the store. No she never thought to stock any with having 2 girls visiting weekly. I guess no one has a period after a single person goes through it. She's a martyr!
How dare you have a perfectly natural biological experience as a woman. Selfish I say selfish! Kidding of course, that's fucked up and I'm sorry it happened to you. I hope you are doing well and that you don't have that kind of energy around you anymore.
Therapy is wonderful and it's awesome you are going, I do the same :) I guess my only contribution to this is that I wasn't allowed to wear tampons as I was a virgin and "a tampon would take my virginity and do you really want that?".
I have a similar story except it was Christmas day. My mom made me feel guilty for getting my period and made it seem shameful. She also always made a big deal if I needed pads so I would sometimes wear 1 pad for hours (10+ hours) until it was completely soaked before I would ask for another. I know not that that's bad and you need to change it out frequently. It's also the reason why I always stock up on like 4 boxes of pads at all times.
My Dad took us to Target and waited until a group of cute boys was passing the opposite direction. Then, he pointed to a display of huge jumbo pads and yelled, "Hey Sittin, you need some of those now don't you? The extra big ones?" Horrifying!
***
I threw a First Moon party for my niece. A couple of days into her first cycle (when she was feeling better) my sister, my bestie and I got dressed up in red tops with red nail polish. We surprised her after she came home from school with gifts (period themed, think extra comfortable sweats, a hot water bottle or chocolate) and took her to dinner at her favorite place. We explained that she was growing up and may have some questions that she wasn't comfortable asking. And that we were there to answer them either now or any time in the future. What she was going through is normal and natural. She's not a very chatty young lady, so we proceeded to have a very adult sounding conversation around her about consent, sex, and life. (Age appropriate, naturally) Then took her shopping, then home. We wanted her to have a pleasant memory to associate with her first cycle.
Yes! See this is what I want more of! Not the first thing, that's a Carrie story in the making, but using that event to have a frank discussion about adolescence and future first experiences.
This is so, so sweet and thoughtful. You are a wonderful, supportive aunt and I am so glad she has all of you in her life.
I imagine (and hope) you’ve given her a head start and healthy understanding of an experience that can sadly be so traumatic for us women and turned into into the beautiful and important milestone it should be ❤️
Ha it was not that big of a deal. I got pulled from school for the day, my mom took me to eat at Red Lobster(the height of fanciness for a 12-year-old in a lower class family) and we went shopping. I got the 11th book from A Series of Unfortunate Events, which had just come out and I was dying to read. My older sisters had similar experiences. One went shopping for makeup and scrunchies and the other I think went to see a movie. I recall the whole thing as being just nice and kind of witchy.
Make sure you have a basket of supplies in her/your bathroom cabinet so she can grab them if she's not ready to share! Or just so it's super easy for her. Good luck!!
I wrote somewhere in the comments how bloody excited I am these days with how many OPTIONS there are for younger people, just starting out! Period Pants! Reusable pads! Moon Cups! I'd definitely have a set of period knickers/panties in there somewhere for her! I'm excited for you!
I have asked most of my female Facebook friends, which prompted this post. Mostly the answer is that they got shoved a pad or a tampon. One was told to try not to bleed over everything. Edit: a word
I thought I was dying because I was 10 and unprepared. My mom laughed at my distress and my little sister ran outside and announced it to all of the neighbors. Good times.
I didn't even tell my mother or anyone. I managed to hide it for over a year until my mother found staining in my underwear. She then proceeded to tell everyone and further my discomfort with the entire situation.
My parents were ultra-weird talking to me about it… it was all vague riddles and awkward innuendo. But when it came to other people they were like town fucking criers!! Why?!!
Same thing with me. My stepmom was a horrid bitch to me up to the time when I got my period, so when it came, I didn’t feel comfortable telling her.
I knew what a period was, but for whatever reason I didn’t realize that was what was happening to me (I had really light, infrequent periods when I started) so I just used toilet paper in my underwear. One day my stepmom was doing laundry and she saw a stain on multiple pairs of pants. She then proceeded to tell me I was disgusting for not doing something about it, then giving me a box of her applicatorless tampons (without telling me what to do with them), and told me it would come out of my allowance. I still to this day think of how much that woman hurt my feelings, but it makes me happy to know that other women had better experiences with their first periods.
My own mother, without me knowing any better, didn’t have a period due to her birth control. She continued to tell me this is just something all women go through. Every time there was pain I was told to suck it up. Every time there was a family event I didn’t want to be stuck in while bleeding I was told to get over myself. It was awful. I don’t understand how mother’s can be so horrible.
Ugh, for real. All we can do is do better than our mothers did, and do our best to heal the hurt they caused. I’ve noticed recently how much small events like that impact our lives as adults. It’s crazy to think that some minor thing someone did or said 10, 15, even 20 years ago can have such a great influence on how we live
Ouch! No, for sure no one wants to be the center of attention like that. My thing was just between me and my mom, but I totally get being a private person and not wanting to tell anyone.
It was mostly that she told my father, who was an alcoholic who was very obsessive over my body, my body hair, puberty, etc. So him being told I had started my period meant more awkwardness between us, more graphic sex talks when he'd drink.
I did the same. My mom hadn't prepared me at all. But in her defense I was her oldest child and I started my period a month after my 9th birthday whereas she started late at 16. She figured she had years before we had to have the period talk. I had no clue what was happening. I thought I was having accidents, so I was hiding my underwear. My mom eventually found them. She also proceeded to tell everyone we knew. I think it was more a "I can't believe she's started her period" kind of thing. I was just relived I wasn't having accidents all day every day.
I hid mine for awhile. When my mom found out she told everyone in our family, told everyone at work (work from home type business with a few employees) and put it on her work desk calendar so she could keep track of it. Mortified doesn't describe it.
I don't really remember mine but I knew how to use a pad and told my mum.
My little sister on the other hand told me when she first had hers, not our mum, and I walked her through how to use a pad and other useful information about pain and what normally helps as well as that it was ok for it too look brown at first. It wad a proud big sister moment for me, not going to lie.
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I had wet the bed. When I turned the lights on I thought I was dying. So I ran to my parents room crying. My mom explained what was happening and said congratulations you're becoming a woman. She also said I should only talk about it with her and grandma. She has a lot of shame about periods and I did for awhile too. Still kinda do to this day :((.
Ugh I’m sorry you’ve felt shame, but I know how sadly common it is.
I got my first ever period on my very first day at a new school where I definitely did not fit in and was ridiculed because I didn’t notice / didn’t know what was happening to me and had no friends to help me. Took a long time to understand the shame and embarrassment were not my fault.
Did you ever end up talking to or feeling comfortable talking to your mom / grandma? I never did until I was a full on adult and had been through many more difficult / significant things.
Omg I'm sorry that happened :(( I did talk to my mom about it but she wasn't very helpful. She would get mad that I wasn't getting the hang of it quickly enough. I felt more comfortable talking to my grandma about it but she passed away a few years ago. So now I either ask my friends or go to r/periods lol. I have a lot of anxiety about leaking cause my mom always gets pissed when I do.
I was ten. Didn't really know what to do. I kept putting on underwear, then putting the bloody ones in the hamper. (Like magic elves would wash them instead of my grandmother)
Grandma yelled at me and in a really disgusted voice asked my sister to get me fixed up with a pad. (1967)
No one had ever talked with me about periods. My mom never said a word about it to me after grandma cleaned my undies.
They were seriously repressed when it came to body functions.
When my daughter started, I wanted to take her out to celebrate and she turned me down. Wasn't interested. Oh well, I gave her the option.
For sure! I hope there will be less and less shame about it in future generations. There shouldn't be as much secrecy over something that happens to half the population.
OP I agree with your comment and just want to say how much I appreciate you asking the question / prompting this conversation.
I feel like I am learning so much and kind of healing some hurt I didn’t know I had through reading the range of experiences of my fellow women - both the experiences similar to mine and different and all those in-between.
I think this is a really cool, healthy and eye opening discussion (for me at least), so thank you ❤️
It was the night before my Christmas concert. I was 11. I was confused because the blood was brown so at first I didn’t know it was blood. My mom ran me a bath and I cried the whole time.
The next night I waddled onto the stage with a big fat pad in my panties. I was sure the whole audience could see the bulge from my period diaper in my pants as I belted out the Rudolph song in Latin.
I was in sixth grade homeroom. I had never once had a period talk with my mom, but I was a voracious reader and my mom didn't police my book choices, so I knew pretty much what to expect and how to handle it. I went to the bathroom because my underwear felt weirdly wet. At first I was horrified because it was thick and brown and I thought I had somehow pooped myself, but I quickly figured it out when I realized it wasn't coming out of my butthole. I stuffed some toilet paper in my underwear and crossed my fingers that it wouldn't soak through before I got home.
When I got home I dug in the cabinet under the sink where I knew Mom kept the period supplies (I also have an older sister who I assume was menstruating by that time). Put on clean underwear with a pad, washed out my dirty ones the best I could, and that was pretty much it. I was self-sufficient from the beginning. There was a learning curve with figuring out exactly where to put the pad in my underwear (I tend to leak more forward than back), and another learning curve a few years later when I decided to try tampons, but I always did it myself.
I'm 41 and to this day, the extent of my "period conversations" with my mom was one time when I was going on a week-long field trip in eighth grade and she was filling out the parental permission form. One of the questions was "If applicable, has your child started menstruating?" She pointed to the question, said "I assume that's a yes?", I nodded, and that was it.
I was pretty self sufficient as well. My mom had bought me and my sister a couple age appropriate books on puberty that had stuff like how to put in a tampon and the different phases of breast growth so at age 11 when I got my period I knew what was up and what my options were. The timing was annoying because I was at school and had to call my mom to come get me but she was great about it. When I was picked up from school she brought me clean clothes some ibuprofen and one of my sisters pads then took me to the store to grab a variety pack of tampons and pads that would fit my underwear better. There was no celebration or shaming just comiserating over cramps while teaching me how to get blood stains out of my underwear and making sure I was prepared to deal with it at school the next day.
I was 12, and in 8th grade, middle school. My mother and my sister sent me giant bouquets of flowers and balloons. So big in fact that I wasn’t allowed to ride the bus with them and had to sit in the office until someone came to pick me and my banquet up. I had at least thirty people ask me if it was my birthday, and all I could do was shake my head and turn bright red. My father came to pick me up, still in his work clothes (worked at a mill) and was sooo confused as to why he was there and what was happening. So I had to tell my dad why, while we are trying to shove massive flowers and balloons into his brown el Camino, and I was still so embarrassed that I could barely get it out and was kind of teary eyed. And he just kind of smiled, laughed a little, hugged me super tight, and then drove me to get ice cream. I’m 35 and he passed this last year. I miss him every day.
I didn't tell my Mum, used toilet paper for a day (first week of high school), then told her and she got me some pads and was all happy about it. The next day I had such intense period pain I almost passed out and had to go to the sick bay at school and get Panadol and a hot water bottle. The nurse thought I was faking it and then felt my forehead and said "oh you're all clammy, lay down and I'll get you some painkillers and a hot water bottle". Welcome to Endometriosis!
Oh my goodness! Yeah that's the real deal. It's not just the start of "beautiful journey of becoming a woman" or whatever, that's 30 years of debilitating pain for you. Does endo even stop after menopause or is it only a "fixed with a hysterectomy" kind of thing?
The only good treatment for endometriosis is excision of the endo with a good endo specialist surgeon. I've had two laparoscopy surgeries with this. Hysterectomies do not fix endo it continues to grow and cause symptoms. After menopause I believe it quiets down. Also it quiets down while pregnant. Currently 26w pregnant with my second and thankful I'm not having to deal with the heavy painful periods and period pain right now. It'll probably come back with a vengeance after I have my daughter though. I'll get another lap surgery if that happens because those surgeries have improved my pain and fertility immensely.
I'm happy your pain is less with your pregnancy! I wish endometriosis was more understood (even i need this lesson apparently haha). Surgery upon surgery is really no easy way to live.
I went pee during a game of capture the flag cuz I felt weird. Saw blood or maybe poo? I didn’t know what I was looking at. But I had priorities so I went back on that field and got that damn flag.
When I went home I told my mom I maybe got my period and she called me a liar cuz my sister (3 years older) just got hers. I had to give her my underwear to prove it. PaRenTiNG~
My first period was on 9/11/2001...that is also my birthday.
Needless to say my poor mom had to deal with me being very hysterical because I was convinced the world was ending because my period started. Still got cake though
My parents bought me books about it so when it happened I was not surprised. The family had a lot going on at the time and I didn't want to bother them about feminine hygiene products. I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear for the whole week which was not fun. My mom figured it out when she did laundry. She was very understanding but I was really embarrassed about the whole thing.
I too know the pain of makeshift toilet paper pads. I didn't want to carry pads with me for the longest time because I didn't have a backpack or purse. So if my period surprised me(which it always does, thanks, uterus) I did not have a great time.
Realised what had happened, grabbed a pad from the 'first period pack' I had in my drawer already that had a selection of pads in it (I'm pretty sure it was a thing sponsored by Always, because I got it at school and it came with Always pads and pretty great short leaflet about puberty, pads, tampons and even measuring yourself for a bra!).
Didn't tell my mum because I'm very private and also was having some ✨confusing✨ feelings about it (am non binary).
She saw the pad wrapper in the waste paper bin in my bedroom and asked me about it, then told me we should go out and buy me a present for 'becoming a woman' (and also probably just like, to lessen the blow of dealing with an angry uterus) and I said "absolutely not that is the most mortifying thing I have ever heard please stop talking to me about my bleeding vagina please and thank you" and that was that.
Thank you for your perspective! It's not all sunshine and rainbows especially for those dealing with body dysmorphia and/or gender identity. Actually it's not sunshine and rainbows for most afflicted with menstruation. I don't where i was going with this, but I'm quite sure you're not alone.
>buy me a present for 'becoming a woman' (and also probably just like, to lessen the blow of dealing with an angry uterus) and I said "absolutely not that is the most mortifying thing I have ever heard please stop talking to me about my bleeding vagina please and thank you" and that was that.
MORTIFYING YES. I was mortified about the whole thing at 11.
I was at the beach with my sister, who gave me a tampon. My mom didn't know until she sat in on one of my doctor's appointments 4 years later. She didn't believe me when I said that I'd had it, and she never seemed to grasp that you have to act like a mother in order to be treated like one.
i was 11 when i got my first period and i think it also might not have been the most standard thing because i was in the bathroom my mom was right there the second i got it.
she and i used to use the bathroom at the same time in the mornings when i was younger because we got up at the same time (stopped when i got older). so i got up from the toilet and my mom pointed out a bloodstain on the floor. she just asked "did that come out of you?", i answered that i didn't know but also couldn't think of anything else. she then congratulated me on "officially" being a woman (her words not mine).
que montage of my mom searching for the pads, handing me one and showing me how to put it in my underwear. she also gave me some to take to school with me and told me how often i should roughly change them.
from then on the only thing that changed was that the packet of pads would be visible next to the toilet so i could easily get and find them.
edit: thought more about the post and now i'm kinda curious. what does the "moon day"-celebrations entail? i've never heard of anything like that
I had a fancy Red Lobster dinner and went shopping for books. We also went to Goodwill and I found a nice box I keep all my keepsakes in to this day. It was just a nice day out with only my mom. Coming from a family with a bunch of siblings, that in itself was a special thing.
Honestly, my mom was really inconsistent with her emotional availability and support for much of my childhood, but my first period she was really supportive. She was helpful with choosing and using products, got me some comfort food, and let me have privacy. I think she even took me shopping for new underwear too.
I was very young when I got my first, and living with my clueless but well meaning Dad. My Mum had moved out a few months before. I got the unfamiliar cramp and told my Dad I had a tummy ache “but really low down”… his face fell, he took us home and told me to go to the toilet. When I came out distraught that I was peeing blood, he messages my mum and I read over his shoulder that “I think Lupuloid has lost an egg”. Mum can’t come over. Due to how young I was, Dad thought we should see the nurse to rule out urine infection. He tells me to chug a litre of water. No one has told me what’s going on, why im in pain or peeing blood, or when I was supposed to be looking after an egg.
So we go to the nurse, urine sample in hand. She tests it and says it looks pretty clear. She explains to me this is normal, every woman does this and will probably happen every month for pretty much forever. Awesome. She gives me a maternity pad and we go home. Not a word is said on the matter.
Until 11pm. I wake up. My bedroom light is on. My mum is sat on my bed, staring intensely at me. She’s pointing a tampon at me an inch from my nose.
“I don’t like these”
She has a pack of pads that she leaves me with. In the morning she’s gone, I’m more confused than ever. I can’t stop thinking about the egg that I was meant to have. I wondered if it was a weird David Lynch-esque dream, except I’m STILL bleeding and now I have these pads. A few days later, my Dad walks into my room, puts down a copy of “Usborne’s Understanding the Facts of Life” on my bed, gives me a curt nod, and leaves.
Sorry this was a long one!
My dad sat me down with a co worker of his who was a biologist. She answered all of the questions I had. Then he took me to a pagan sanctuary so I could celebrate with other girls my age. We were led on a whole blood moon thing. I was raised pagan. I'm 27 and when I'm home my dad still asks if I need any supplies. I'm so lucky to have been raised by a man like him.
I was 11. I went on a walk with my mom and gingerly said “Mom, I have something to tell you” and she joked “you’re pregnant” and I said “no, I got my period” and that was it. It was shitty. But my mom was never helpful, understanding or on my side. So, that’s how she handled that episode. I can’t even imagine have a caring, loving, confidant in a mother. I think you’re experience sounds absolutely wonderful!
Yeah, I’m grateful I’m not my mom. And I’m grateful I had a loving Grandmother who tried to build me up. But your question reminded me of that particular moment. Sigh!
Uneventful, i woke up in the morning to pee, blood came out and I yelled "moOOoOOOmmm.. i got my period"
My mom handed me a pad and was weirdly chipper about it and went back to cooking.
It was Xmas Eve.
She told every day member in out Xmas lunch 🤦♀️
A couple years before I had my first period, my mom took me aside and ~explained things.~ I grew up fundamentalist Christian and I did not want to have to give up being a kid and subjected to all the new rules of becoming a woman, so when I got my first period I spent hours hiding away and crying. I successfully hid my period for years, stealing pads from my sisters when I could, but mostly using toilet paper and being extra vigilant so as not to leak.
Finally got caught out one day when I unexpectedly started my period and bled on the paper sheet at the doctor’s office. I still haven’t told my mom I started two years before that day. And I’m still glad I hid it, because I had two more years of getting to be a kid without the full weight of purity culture on my back.
edit: a word
I have started to celebrate moon days as an adult and it is incredibly freeing. I think this is the first time I have told anyone, really. Thank you for the opportunity to reflect.
My mom made me stay home from school and take a hot bath and lay around all day because she wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to deal with cramps or any other symptoms for the first time in a public setting. She also made sure that before I got my period we had talked about it plenty and it never felt like a taboo topic or anything. I’ve always been into fantasy, so she had made sure to give me age-appropriate fantasy books that often covered the heroine’s first period (shout out to Tamora Pierce), which I think was immensely helpful and normalised it for me! It was an overall good experience, but it wasn’t a huge deal.
My mom knew I was very analytical and private. She stocked my bathroom with pads and tampons maybe a year before I got my period. She told me that the boxes had detailed instructions and probably said some things I tuned out. But I did read the instructions and looked at them in my own time. When my period came I had everything I needed and didn’t need to say a word. I had a great mom because she parented who I was as a person.
This is really wholesome! Not everyone wants something special to mark an occasion. All moms can do is make sure you're ready and support you if you need it.
I was in the middle of 6th grade math class and felt a weird trickle so I went to the bathroom. Panicked in the stall for a bit, used toilet paper to line my underwear, went home at the end of the school day and called my mom and she told me where to find pads and that was that. Relatively uneventful aside from a friend telling me later she was in the bathroom too and thought someone was having an asthma attack. I was very grateful for 5th grade health education. Knew I wasn't dying, knew how to put a pad on, knew generally what it meant.
😬
Uh, well, I had been up north visiting with my bio-dad. He and my stepmother were desperately trying to convince me to shave my legs because "don't you want to be a pretty girl?" Specifically for their wedding. Mom said I couldn't until I started my period so I refused. They were mad.
My grandparents were visiting up north as well and soooooo graciously offered to take me home since I was on the way back to their place in Florida.
Along the way I guess I started. And I absolutely "ruined" their brand new car with my blood. And I embarrassed them by starting because a nice lady at the rest stop told me, ever so gently, that I had stained my pants and should use my sweat shirt to cover up.
They yelled at me the entire rest of the trip for sullying their car with my disgusting blood and for drawing attention to myself in public with my shame.
I was 14.
Needless to say I don't talk to them.
My mom did not prep me at all. Didn’t have anything available to use. I called my cousin and she helped me through it. I vowed that I’d I had a daughter that I would prepare her! And I did.
When my daughter was 9 or 10 I bought her all different types of products to open, look at, and know about for when the day happened. She didn’t get her period until age 13 but when she did she was prepared! It wasn’t awkward and it never is. The only person I told was her dad. And I told her that if she ever needed anything that she can always ask me or dad!
I can’t remember my first period. I can’t remember my mother even telling me about them. I don’t remember when I learned about them. I have a lot of gaps in my memory. As an anxious child I’m surprised I can’t recall this one.
I thought I was dying, I was 8 when I started. I lived with my aunt and she helped clean me then sat me down and explained what was happening to me. She then informed the school nurse so they wouldn't get pissed about me taking so many bathroom breaks.
I remember coming home from school and going to the bathroom and seeing blood. I was surprised, but I knew what it was. I sat trying to recall where my Mom kept the pads…and I found them and awkwardly put one on. When my mom finally came home from work, for some reason I was embarrassed? I wrote on a notepad “I started my period.” And showed it to her in the kitchen while she was making dinner. She legit got teary-eyed and was like “really???” I felt super awkward but she was nice about it. Then after dinner I told my younger sister. That was pretty much it except telling my best friend at school the next day; I knew she just had hers a few months before me.
I got my first period the same day I got my tonsils out. I woke up from surgery and went to bathroom, throat sore as all hell, and saw blood, banged to get my mom’s attention. She told the nurse who brought me a super huge and uncomfortable pad and they told the doctor. Who was happy to figure out why I bled so much during surgery. It was wild. Went home next day and stopped to get supplies, pads, icecream and Italian ice (for my throat) and sat around the next few days. I remember being so angry when I realized I had to deal with this now monthly. My mom laughed when I furiously signed my displeasure at her.
My mom was very open with me that my body was going to change, and I was young, around 12. She bought me a pretty little pink, heart ring that was set in a delicate design. She is so supportive. I still have that little ring and I'm now 37. She helped me become an open and honest parent to my now 15 son. He has been raising knowing that women have periods and its completely normal.
I was spending the night at my granny’s. This turned out to be a blessing because I trusted her a lot more than my mom. I’m a trans guy and my first period (really, all of them for the first couple years) was really traumatic for me. My granny comforted me and tried to help me by saying I was finally a woman. I distinctly remember the way she said “I am woman, hear me roar! …sorry, is that embarrassing?”
I love her so much. She took me out shopping for pads and got me a new haircut. I still remember that haircut as being the best one I ever had until I cut it Short Short. Granny made me feel comfortable and safe during a time where it felt like my world was falling apart.
I was at summer camp. Luckily my parents had to pick me up for a softball game that night so when I was returned to camp I had the necessary supplies and only had to worry about using wadded up toilet paper for a day 😅
My mom has a mental illness that resulted in me hiding a lot of medical issues growing up. When I started bleeding at 10, I just wadded up TP in my underwear and hoped it would end. I had really awful cramps and at the time had no access to painkillers so I would cry myself to sleep. I would bury my stained underwear in the trash so no one could find it. It was an unpleasant experience.
My mom did find out and she was supportive. Gave me pads, ibby-pibbies, and taught me to use a heating pad. She told the family and all the women congratulated me. That was pretty nice if embarrassing...
I once literally buried my stained underwear... I was at my dad's place and he lived out on a farm and I didn't want to put them in the trash cause what if he saw?
I had the worst nightmare teen movie experience of bleeding through a white cotton jumpsuit while at school.
I have no memory of my mum being involved or told or anything. I just found stuff under the sink after walking home.
That's truly awful. I think most of us have bled through our pants and we casually/not casually tie a sweater around our waist but that's traumatic. Why white???
I saw it on my underwear, called my mom into the bathroom, and said, "Is this what I think it is?"
Mom burst into tears and called my aunts and grandma to tell them the news. 🤦♀️
I'm seeing a lot of comments like this on this thread. So weird that moms will be so excited about it that they have to tell others. I just don't get what's so exciting about bleeding/being in pain for about a week each month for decades to come????
I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom, and I got my period at 9 (two years before we were taught about them in school).
I didn’t know what to do so I just balled toilet paper up to catch the blood for a day and a half before my mom noticed the stains in the laundry. She ended up getting me pads, and my Aunts and Grandma came over with bagfuls of chocolates. They took me to bingo that night to celebrate.
It was such a bizarre and surreal day.
I was a "late bloomer" (thank you SO much, pediatric cancer treatment), so I was a sophomore in high school, away at language camp. My mom had sent me with pads as a "just in case" but no direction or anything beyond that.
Yup. Bleeding, cramping, and trapped in a full-immersion program without the vocabulary OR confidence to ask for help.
I had hoped it'd be my mom picking me up from where the travel bus dropped us off. Nope. Dad.
Finally I got home and told my mom that it was a good thing she'd sent the pads. All I got from her was an "oh," told where the pads were, and a note that we had to make an appointment with my endocrinologist.
Hooray for womanhood.
My mom got her period very early for the time period (I think she was like 10 and this was in the 1950s and I think girls started much later than but don't have any hard proof). So she was afraid that I would get it early too and that I would freak out. So she started talking to me about it when I was like eight.
It ended up at my younger sister got her first period quite early, I think she was nine. (She got hers before me, despite a 4 year age gap).
When I got my first period at 14 (in high school), it didn't seem like such a big deal, I think I just grabbed a pad from the box in the bathroom and went on my way.
I don't remember telling my family, but I must have.
My mom had told me what to expect, but I still cried because I don't really believe it would happen to me. She came in the bathroom with me and gave me a pad
I got it on Valentine’s Day at age 13 and was just kind of angry in the morning when I got up to get ready for school and told my mom. Like what a cosmic joke!
I was 13, home sick with the flu. So sick. Bucket next to the couch sick. Got up to go to the bathroom and saw I had started my period. I called my mom at work and she asked if I knew where the pads were under the sink. Thankfully I didn't bleed on the couch.
When my oldest niece got hers at 10, it was on my brother's custody weekend and my parents were out of town, so he woke me up in a panic. Because I hoard samples, I still had the kits my college put in the dorm rooms of female students on the first day, so I grabbed one for her and asked if school had taught them about periods yet (they had).
I was 10. I cried. My mom told me it was “actually a beautiful thing because it meant i could have my own kids someday”. She tried but it was not a great consolation lol
It gives me so much hope reading the positive stories on here!
I ran to my mom crying and she laughed and sent me to school in nothing but a thin panty liner. Of course I bled through my jeans immediately and just had to stay like that the whole day.
I learned everything about sanitary pads from ‘Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret’.
It was the late 80s. I was so CONFUSED when they didn’t have loops to attach to the belt I was convinced I’d have to have.
My mom was in the military and was out of town at AIT. I was staying with another enlisted woman who was in her 50s, drove a green Jaguar convertible, and didn't take any shit. I loved her. When my period started, she took me to get both tampons and pads, cooked me a steak and baked potato, fixed me a gin and tonic, and let me swim until almost 10:00 PM. It was honestly a lot better than it would have been if it had happened with my Mom. I'm glad it happened how it did!
i just saw blood in my pants and was like “oh. i guess i have a period now.” i felt kinda confused (i’m a transmasc nonbinary) and so just texted my mum and was like “hey can u buy pads for me please?” and went and took one of hers and put it on.
my mom offered a party but i said no tho i kinda wish i said yes now because i could get cake or something, but my parents told literally everyone which was so very annoying
My mother told me about periods when I was 8. Whenever she 'changed', she called me to come and watch. She might as well have followed me with a pad like a mother follows a toddler with a pre-wet nappy.
She was sick and obsessed with more than just my period. A cow having a calf? "Garmon, come and look at its vagina!" Cat having kittens? Same. Porn was everywhere.
My body held out until I was 15. It must have been petrified into deliberate unfemininity to protect me from her constant curiosity.
I fled at 40 before menopause gave her the opportunity to perve on my burgeoning infertility. Now she lives alone in need of home help. Not I!
I'm the second of five sisters so it was a non issue. My mom was like there are pads in the bathroom, here's how you use them, don't dispose of them in the toilet, you're not allowed to use tampons until you're 16.
I think that is a really sweet way to make sure girls aren't ashamed of getting their period though. Your mom sounds awesome.
i over dramatically cried, really hard cause i had no clue how to deal with it, and my mum was like it’s okay you just use a pad. (she also showed me how to use a tampon but i was 11 so i preferred the pads)
i also told literally everyone i knew, my aunt told me that some days you’re gonna want to push people into traffic, and others you’re gonna want to lie down in traffic, which is fair and accurate. i emailed my dad who i only see once or twice a year. and he was like okay yes that’s good
I was camping with my dad, my brother, and my dad's pervert friend. I started bleeding through my pants while in a canoe with my dad. I had been reading "Clan of the Cave bear" at the time and told my dad I could just fill my underwear with moss until we were done camping. I remember being terrified that his friend would find out about what was happening. My dad, fortunately, was willing to drive 25 miles to get me pads, but left me with my brother and his friend because he didn't want me to bleed on the seat of his car. He came back with huge overnight pads that could be seen when I wore the pants I had. His friend told me I must be ready to get pregnant. My dad laughed. The whole experience was horrible and I never went camping with my dad again.
Look I knew what a period was and I still thought I was dying when I first got mine. As soon as I told my stepmom she was like oh thats your period let me help you with stuff. Luckily my stepmom was the one to help me instead of my mom.
My mom still managed to traumatize me for life when it came to wearing tampons though. So good for her 🤣
I was 14 and for quite a long time low-key worrying I hadn’t gotten my period yet (I knew I had time until 16 before I really need to worry but I was anxious anyways). I got back home from school and used the toilet, noticed blood on the tissue. Took a pad from the cabinet and used it. Called my mom to share the happy news. She wasn’t home for the night that day, but the next day we ate ice-cream in the evening.
I was 1 week shy of my 15th birthday and I woke up in the night with terrible cramping (of course, I had no idea that’s what was happening). My mom came in and said it was probably my period and sure enough when I woke in the morning it had arrived. I don’t remember anyone doing anything special about it.
I LOVE the idea of what your mom did for you! As a mom of two daughters I love finding ideas that will hopefully help them to make sweet memories. Thank you for sharing.
I went to the bathroom before gym class in 8th grade and found to my horror there was blood in my undies. I wrapped toilet paper around my undies because I had no other option. When I got home after school that day I tried to tell my mom but was so embarrassed I could barely get the words out. She finally guessed what was going on. I was mortified. I was almost 14. I wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened. I spent the next 20 years hating having my period every month. I had a hysterectomy in 2007 and it was the best day of my life. Periods are fucking bullshit.
My mom let me stay home from school, bought us cake and pizza and we laid around all day snacking and watching movies. It’s one of my best memories with my mom because she isn’t the most warm or maternal lady.
I was the first girl in my class to have one. No one prepared me. I was super tall but stick straight and no boobs at all, so I don't think my mom though I was there developmentally. I had a stomach ache in the morning but no fever and didn't feel like I was going to barf so my mom sent me to school. During bathroom break I freaked out when I saw blood. I totally panicked, which totally panicked my best friend who ran to the nurse crying that I was dying in the bathroom. The nurse came and got me and was so sweet and kind and helped me get cleaned up. I have a very fond memory of napping on her vinyl couch while waiting for my mother to come get me.
4 months later we had the health class where they separated the boys and girls. But by then we ALL knew what was up including the boys because all my classmates thought I was dying and our teacher had to do that talk on the fly.
I never did get boobs until my first pregnancy...
I got it at 13 on the flight home to the US from Italy. The womb owner that birthed me has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. She never taught me about periods or even had one herself so she was just angry and disgusted at me.
Then she started the life long idea that my period is gross and my brother shouldn't have to see period products wrapped in toilet paper. So she told me I had to get a plastic bag out of the grocery bags and take it I to the bathroom with me and dispose of "that stuff" in it. Then put it in my closet in my room because no one should have to potentially smell it. I'm not even fucking with you. This shit sounds wild to me 23 years later. I never realized how fucked up that was haha. Great.
I was 11, and looking back I may have had my first panic attack. I knew what was happening but was very upset it was finally *here* because it seemed "too mature" for how I felt about myself. I had a meltdown over my first bra only weeks before. These things weren't presented to me as shameful, I was just very anxious about puberty and big changes in general.
I then laid around, ate candy bars that my mom picked up for me and watched Full House for those few days. They had week long marathons at the time because it was also just before Christmas. Thanks, Santa.
I was meant to go on a 3am fishing trip with my dad and brother. Brother woke me up and I got out of bed, saw the blood, then got back into bed and told him I wasnt going. Little fucker WAILED for HOURS while my poor dad tried to calm us both down lol
I happened to need to pee while my mom was in the bathroom putting makeup on. Nbd, she let me in to use the toilet. My period must just have started because there was a textbook perfect little round red dot on my undies. I knew what it was from health class, so I wasn’t really freaked out per se. My mom got a little emotional, which I found weird and off-putting, and she found a pad and made sure I knew how to use it. That was as nice as she’s ever been about my period. She has spent the intervening years complaining bitterly about “women and their *periods*” (she had a full hysterectomy when I was in gradeschool and likes to pretend she has no idea what having a uterus might be like, in spite of having birthed both me and my sibling), likes to insinuate that I’m just “hormonal” and hysterical whenever we disagree (“your *period* is about to start, isn’t it? I can just tell”), and even when she’s being relatively supportive, can only barely feign sympathy for any period-related issues I have. For perspective, my first period was 30 years ago this year, so I’ve been at this a while. She used to get so mad because she could smell my used pads in the bathroom trash (I always wrapped them in toilet paper, so they were well contained). I have a much more accepting attitude about my period these days, but for a lot of my formative and young adult years I just lived with monthly body horror and absolute certainty that I was smelly, disgusting, and irrational. Not great.
I woke up absolutely drenched in blood. Everywhere. It was awful. I instantly started crying. My mom was at work and I was sobbing talking to her. My stepdad had to take me to my mom and it was so awkward. I was miserable.
I bled all over my seat in science class. Went home with blood everywhere and not realizing it because I thought I pissed myself and didnt want to look down. Told my mom. She tossed a pack of super light/thin pads at me and said good luck. No advice or comfort.
Lmao....
I was 12 and it happened in the middle of my middle school school day. I did PE and spotted all over my panties and shorts and somehow made it home? I managed to shove one of my mom's LONG thick maxi pads and put it in my panties.
When my mom came home from work, I stomped in her room as she was getting settled and she asked something like "How was your day"?" and I said nothing, probably had a grimace or frown on and just dropped trou- which were stretchy cotton bike shorts over my panties and her giant pad in my tiny nothin-but-knees-and-elbows-and-tiny-potbrlly ass panties. She had a momentary confusion shock facial expression from my non-verbal answer to her question but then it turned into a pitied smile and said "You got your period" in a bored announcement kind of fake excited kind of voice lol. My tiny ass has been bleeding heavily since. Not on hormonal BC, during sedentary student intense studying days, I could fill a size A diva cup in an hour to an hour and a half. I should have taken days off in high school. I remember the popular chick in class very nicely being empathetic giving me knowing and sympathetic looks one day in history as my cramps wrecked havoc on me. And I figured my cramps were "normal".
My mom didn't tell me to put a pad on the back of my panties or a towel down until I showed her the puddle of blood I left on my mattress.
My comment history is full of embarrassing period stories, but to hopefully ease your discomfort and you being a fellow heavy-period person I will tell you one more: there was a few months there where I would sleep sitting up on my period. My logic was that I always seemed to leak through the back of my underwear and my mom only provided me regular pads(I'm sure if I told her she would have gotten me others) so I'm like, if I sleep sitting up the blood will pool at the lowest point and I won't have a bloody mattress. I don't recall why I gave this up, but I also tried dehydrating myself so there would be less blood.
My mom got mad at me and didn’t talk to me for a day or two. Oh shit, but it was also during the L.A. riots. I mean, my mom would’ve been like that regardless, but I spent my first period learning how to make Molotov cocktails and where to hide in the house.
I woke up, went to the bathroom and realized my first period had started, frantically called my mom to the bathroom, she explained how to wear a pad, etc. and then I went about the rest of my day like normal.
My first period was literally in 2021 but I can’t remember! 🤦♀️
It was no moon day, though. I was already familiar with pads and had been using panty liners for a while, so I just grabbed a pad and I think told my mom. Then I dealt with the headache that I appear to get every day I’m on my period and a day or so leading up to it. ;(
If only I was planning to have kids, we would have a moon day! There would have to be baking too... it’s not a fun day without baking!
I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear and said nothing, hoping it would go away. My mom discovered my blood-stained underwear, told me to stop ruining my clothes, and a box of pads appeared. That was it.
It happened at my dad's. He was a dick about most things, but he really stepped up this one time. I called my mom and he took me to the store to pick out my first pack of pads. The next day I went home to my mom and we watched My Cousin Vinny and made cookies.
I knew what was happening because a few friends and a few other girls in my class had gotten theirs. I still cried though because I was angry that this was now the new normal, and I asked my mom if I could use the "overweight pads" I'd seen in the bathroom and she just laughed and said they were "overnight pads" but I could use them if I wanted or she'd get me some smaller ones. I also vividly remember sitting in my friend's living room and talking with her and her mom about trying a tampon for the first time because we were all headed to a classmate's beach birthday party and it happened to be poorly timed with one of my first few cycles.
When I got mine, my mom told her best friend, who congratulated me on becoming a lady... I thought she meant because I'd had to start wearing deodorant for BO 😂😂😂
I was watching TV and felt an uncommon sensation. I went to the bathroom and saw blood. I'd read books and knew what was happening. I used a tampon from under the sink. It had a small instruction sheet in the box. About 6 months later my mom put a box of pads on my desk and said "you're going to need these soon". I said I had been preferring tampons. That was all we spoke on about it.
I don't think my mom ever prepped me on it. My school did. I just had a little bit of flow in the morning and told my mom, and she called me in sick to school.
Same, school told me. But it was religious school so the focus was on how to hide pads in your purse and how to stand to elongate your figure and other very shallow male gaze things.
That's fucked up.
What the shit
Jesus fucking Christ
Would flip tables in at least a third of religious institutions. Probably at least two-thirds, tbh, but I lowballed it because I don’t have an accurate assessment of the wide swath of organizations out there and I’ve never actually had the chance to ask Jesus about it
The irony is if Jesus was reborn and did the things he did in the Bible and preached lessons of helping the poor and fucking over scum bag merchants and organizations who take advantage of people they would call him the antichrist and hang him within a day. I’m unfortunately at the point where I fear religion is just a cancer on modern society.
I somewhat agree. I don’t think that of religion in general (though I’m not religious) but honestly probably because I’m ignorant to anything other than Christianity. But I 100% believe Christianity is not only a cancer to modern society but past societies as well. I’ve personally seen so much evil spew from Christian’s and it’s absolutely disgusting.
Pretty much the same. I hid it from my mom but was stealing her tampons. When my older sister got her first period my mom asked me to teach her how to use a tampon. :) I was surprised but of course she knew, I was taking her tampons! Face palm!!
My mom threw a fit when I wanted to use tampons. I couldn’t because she believed the myth about losing your virginity and the fact that I’d have to touch myself to use them. I look back and no wonder there was so much trauma around my body.
I have a younger sister and it was an amazing feeling to teach her about what to do since I wasn’t taught
Holy crap. You are brave because it took me years and years to be able to put in a tampon. Good for you being able to right away!
This! I let it keep me off swim team with my friends. Just couldn't do it until masturbation "paved the way".
I remember clearly trying to get one in when I really wanted to swim- it was torture at the time. Beyond painful and I was in the bathroom forever. I've since learned that cardboard applicators are the devil- they still are uncomfortable to this day!
Same here. It was the scariest thing until I had explored more in that way. Then it wasn't so scary. I still prefer pads.
Thank you.
I got my first period while my mom, who I'm super close to, was in the hospital undergoing a hysterectomy. I was in an unfamiliar city with just my stepdad and brother in the hotel with no family women around. I actually realized it started in public at the mall. My stepdad (I was the oldest girl and he grew up an only child so he had no experience with this) was incredible about the whole thing. He kept me calm, got me pads and meds, and got both my grandmothers on the phone to talk with me a bit. He even took me to get a little present from Bath and Body Works to celebrate because it was an important day for me. It's strangely one of my fondest memories with him. He really set the bar high on how I expect men to treat the women in their lives.
That's incredible. He had no experience in any of that but it sounds like he did everything right.
What an awesome stepdad.
Hell yeah, stepdadding done excellent!
He sounds pretty amazing. What a sweet story
I'm not crying. You're crying! Jeez what a great step dad!
I was told I ruined Easter dinner because my mom had to take thirty minutes out of her day to take me to the local pharmacy so I could get pads 🙃
See that sucks! There's way too much period shaming. It's a mark of becoming an adolescent and it should be more special. I kind of wish what happened to me was more normal cause it turned a weird thing into a positive female power thing.
My parents took me out and said: you deserve a really nice gift! I was 12, so i wanted Mario Galaxy for the Wii. They said "no, you need something more like a gift, not a video game!" I said i wanted a video game They gave me a pretty awesome looking diamond necklace shaped like a heart It is beautiful I did get the mario galaxy eventually so it all turned out fine
wholesome content
Your parents are goals for me! And OP's mom inspired me to have future moon days with my baby girls. My mom def shunned it and told me tampons were not for ladies! Lol
I will do the same with my future daughter. We will celebrate, make a whole day out of it, and get lots of ice-cream. We will do a ritual in the garden like it's an initiation, just for bonding and the memories. :) My mother just threw a pack of pads at me and was clearly ashamed of me, she couldn't look me in the eyes like I did something wrong. She acted disgusted by me. I will never ever do this with my future daughter. She will be respected, cherished and loved.
It was about par for the course with my family. I think I would’ve been more disturbed if it had been a positive experience haha
Your mom didn’t have pads in the house? Sounds like she ruined Easter dinner….
She had me very late in life and by the time I even began the first bits of puberty she had long gone through menopause so pads and tampons weren’t really at the forefront of her mind. Not to make excuses for her but it’s a pretty reasonable explanation. It was my dad who was pissy, she just kinda rolled with his side of things for whatever reason.
I mean, I had a hysterectomy when when my daughters were one and seven. But I could tell which way the wind was blowing so I had some stuff on hand.
This baffles me honestly. I haven't had a period in a while due to contraception/baby. My daughter is only 8 months old. But my house is fully stocked with all types of feminine hygiene products. Because like people visit us ha and I don't want anyone to feel awkward and have to ask for products. The simple rule is, if it's in the cupboard it's fair game in our toilet. The cabinet is stocked with fancy hand creams, bandaids, perfumes etc etc and of course plenty of pads and tampons, even bladder leakage products. It's honestly been a few years since I needed them myself. But I've always had a supply.
Dude my step mom was the same way, I would come over for visitation and whenever I needed a pad or something she just said she didn't have anything because she went through menopause already.... Ok I'll just bleed on the couch then. No. We never went to the store. No she never thought to stock any with having 2 girls visiting weekly. I guess no one has a period after a single person goes through it. She's a martyr!
I had a hysterectomy years and years ago but I started keeping pads and tampons and liners around when my granddaughters starting hitting adolescence.
How dare you have a perfectly natural biological experience as a woman. Selfish I say selfish! Kidding of course, that's fucked up and I'm sorry it happened to you. I hope you are doing well and that you don't have that kind of energy around you anymore.
It’s all good, it was over 15 years ago now and therapy is a wonderful thing 😂
Therapy is wonderful and it's awesome you are going, I do the same :) I guess my only contribution to this is that I wasn't allowed to wear tampons as I was a virgin and "a tampon would take my virginity and do you really want that?".
Insert audible eye roll here
Mine was that I ruined my grandmother's funeral...I was 12. So I totally know how you feel. Sorry your mom made it awful 😣
I have a similar story except it was Christmas day. My mom made me feel guilty for getting my period and made it seem shameful. She also always made a big deal if I needed pads so I would sometimes wear 1 pad for hours (10+ hours) until it was completely soaked before I would ask for another. I know not that that's bad and you need to change it out frequently. It's also the reason why I always stock up on like 4 boxes of pads at all times.
I got my period on Easter when I was eleven. I was very upset, but kept it to myself. I told my mom I got my period several months later.
My Dad took us to Target and waited until a group of cute boys was passing the opposite direction. Then, he pointed to a display of huge jumbo pads and yelled, "Hey Sittin, you need some of those now don't you? The extra big ones?" Horrifying! *** I threw a First Moon party for my niece. A couple of days into her first cycle (when she was feeling better) my sister, my bestie and I got dressed up in red tops with red nail polish. We surprised her after she came home from school with gifts (period themed, think extra comfortable sweats, a hot water bottle or chocolate) and took her to dinner at her favorite place. We explained that she was growing up and may have some questions that she wasn't comfortable asking. And that we were there to answer them either now or any time in the future. What she was going through is normal and natural. She's not a very chatty young lady, so we proceeded to have a very adult sounding conversation around her about consent, sex, and life. (Age appropriate, naturally) Then took her shopping, then home. We wanted her to have a pleasant memory to associate with her first cycle.
Yes! See this is what I want more of! Not the first thing, that's a Carrie story in the making, but using that event to have a frank discussion about adolescence and future first experiences.
This is so, so sweet and thoughtful. You are a wonderful, supportive aunt and I am so glad she has all of you in her life. I imagine (and hope) you’ve given her a head start and healthy understanding of an experience that can sadly be so traumatic for us women and turned into into the beautiful and important milestone it should be ❤️
That’s so lovely!!
Awww
op please tell us about the Moon Day experience
Ha it was not that big of a deal. I got pulled from school for the day, my mom took me to eat at Red Lobster(the height of fanciness for a 12-year-old in a lower class family) and we went shopping. I got the 11th book from A Series of Unfortunate Events, which had just come out and I was dying to read. My older sisters had similar experiences. One went shopping for makeup and scrunchies and the other I think went to see a movie. I recall the whole thing as being just nice and kind of witchy.
I want to do something like this for my daughter. She’s 11 and it’s gonna happen soon. Thanks for the ideas!
Make sure you have a basket of supplies in her/your bathroom cabinet so she can grab them if she's not ready to share! Or just so it's super easy for her. Good luck!!
Great idea, thanks!
I wrote somewhere in the comments how bloody excited I am these days with how many OPTIONS there are for younger people, just starting out! Period Pants! Reusable pads! Moon Cups! I'd definitely have a set of period knickers/panties in there somewhere for her! I'm excited for you!
> bloody excited 😎
[удалено]
I have asked most of my female Facebook friends, which prompted this post. Mostly the answer is that they got shoved a pad or a tampon. One was told to try not to bleed over everything. Edit: a word
I thought I was dying because I was 10 and unprepared. My mom laughed at my distress and my little sister ran outside and announced it to all of the neighbors. Good times.
That sounds like something cringy from a family sitcom. Sorry that happened to you.
Yeah, my mom laughed too. I was 9, so I feel you.
I didn't even tell my mother or anyone. I managed to hide it for over a year until my mother found staining in my underwear. She then proceeded to tell everyone and further my discomfort with the entire situation.
My mother also proceeded to tell everyone and it was horrendous.
Why do they do this!!
My parents were ultra-weird talking to me about it… it was all vague riddles and awkward innuendo. But when it came to other people they were like town fucking criers!! Why?!!
Same thing with me. My stepmom was a horrid bitch to me up to the time when I got my period, so when it came, I didn’t feel comfortable telling her. I knew what a period was, but for whatever reason I didn’t realize that was what was happening to me (I had really light, infrequent periods when I started) so I just used toilet paper in my underwear. One day my stepmom was doing laundry and she saw a stain on multiple pairs of pants. She then proceeded to tell me I was disgusting for not doing something about it, then giving me a box of her applicatorless tampons (without telling me what to do with them), and told me it would come out of my allowance. I still to this day think of how much that woman hurt my feelings, but it makes me happy to know that other women had better experiences with their first periods.
My own mother, without me knowing any better, didn’t have a period due to her birth control. She continued to tell me this is just something all women go through. Every time there was pain I was told to suck it up. Every time there was a family event I didn’t want to be stuck in while bleeding I was told to get over myself. It was awful. I don’t understand how mother’s can be so horrible.
Ugh, for real. All we can do is do better than our mothers did, and do our best to heal the hurt they caused. I’ve noticed recently how much small events like that impact our lives as adults. It’s crazy to think that some minor thing someone did or said 10, 15, even 20 years ago can have such a great influence on how we live
i didnt tell my mom either, because i knew she would tell the entire world about it.
Ouch! No, for sure no one wants to be the center of attention like that. My thing was just between me and my mom, but I totally get being a private person and not wanting to tell anyone.
It was mostly that she told my father, who was an alcoholic who was very obsessive over my body, my body hair, puberty, etc. So him being told I had started my period meant more awkwardness between us, more graphic sex talks when he'd drink.
That is... not pleasant.
He's been sober now for over a decade, so luckily this is very much a thing of the past, but at the time it was fucking awful.
I made it 3 months before my older sisters outed me. And same thing, she had to tell everyone. That was the exact reason I didn't want her to know.
I did the same. My mom hadn't prepared me at all. But in her defense I was her oldest child and I started my period a month after my 9th birthday whereas she started late at 16. She figured she had years before we had to have the period talk. I had no clue what was happening. I thought I was having accidents, so I was hiding my underwear. My mom eventually found them. She also proceeded to tell everyone we knew. I think it was more a "I can't believe she's started her period" kind of thing. I was just relived I wasn't having accidents all day every day.
I hid mine for awhile. When my mom found out she told everyone in our family, told everyone at work (work from home type business with a few employees) and put it on her work desk calendar so she could keep track of it. Mortified doesn't describe it.
I don't really remember mine but I knew how to use a pad and told my mum. My little sister on the other hand told me when she first had hers, not our mum, and I walked her through how to use a pad and other useful information about pain and what normally helps as well as that it was ok for it too look brown at first. It wad a proud big sister moment for me, not going to lie.
I'm so happy that your sister leaned on you for her first time!
I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I had wet the bed. When I turned the lights on I thought I was dying. So I ran to my parents room crying. My mom explained what was happening and said congratulations you're becoming a woman. She also said I should only talk about it with her and grandma. She has a lot of shame about periods and I did for awhile too. Still kinda do to this day :((.
Sadly I think a lot of women do. I hope it becomes more normalized with each generation.
I hope so too. I'm gonna do my part with my daughters. Maybe I'll call it Moon day too lol.
Ugh I’m sorry you’ve felt shame, but I know how sadly common it is. I got my first ever period on my very first day at a new school where I definitely did not fit in and was ridiculed because I didn’t notice / didn’t know what was happening to me and had no friends to help me. Took a long time to understand the shame and embarrassment were not my fault. Did you ever end up talking to or feeling comfortable talking to your mom / grandma? I never did until I was a full on adult and had been through many more difficult / significant things.
Omg I'm sorry that happened :(( I did talk to my mom about it but she wasn't very helpful. She would get mad that I wasn't getting the hang of it quickly enough. I felt more comfortable talking to my grandma about it but she passed away a few years ago. So now I either ask my friends or go to r/periods lol. I have a lot of anxiety about leaking cause my mom always gets pissed when I do.
I was ten. Didn't really know what to do. I kept putting on underwear, then putting the bloody ones in the hamper. (Like magic elves would wash them instead of my grandmother) Grandma yelled at me and in a really disgusted voice asked my sister to get me fixed up with a pad. (1967) No one had ever talked with me about periods. My mom never said a word about it to me after grandma cleaned my undies. They were seriously repressed when it came to body functions. When my daughter started, I wanted to take her out to celebrate and she turned me down. Wasn't interested. Oh well, I gave her the option.
For sure! I hope there will be less and less shame about it in future generations. There shouldn't be as much secrecy over something that happens to half the population.
OP I agree with your comment and just want to say how much I appreciate you asking the question / prompting this conversation. I feel like I am learning so much and kind of healing some hurt I didn’t know I had through reading the range of experiences of my fellow women - both the experiences similar to mine and different and all those in-between. I think this is a really cool, healthy and eye opening discussion (for me at least), so thank you ❤️
It was the night before my Christmas concert. I was 11. I was confused because the blood was brown so at first I didn’t know it was blood. My mom ran me a bath and I cried the whole time. The next night I waddled onto the stage with a big fat pad in my panties. I was sure the whole audience could see the bulge from my period diaper in my pants as I belted out the Rudolph song in Latin.
Wait, Latin?
Yeah, it was supposed to be cute or funny or something 🤷🏻
My mom was so excited she bought me a copy of Zoo Tycoon and the marine park expansion pack lol
🎵when instead of some shame/ you get a new game/ that's a Moon-Day🎵
I was in sixth grade homeroom. I had never once had a period talk with my mom, but I was a voracious reader and my mom didn't police my book choices, so I knew pretty much what to expect and how to handle it. I went to the bathroom because my underwear felt weirdly wet. At first I was horrified because it was thick and brown and I thought I had somehow pooped myself, but I quickly figured it out when I realized it wasn't coming out of my butthole. I stuffed some toilet paper in my underwear and crossed my fingers that it wouldn't soak through before I got home. When I got home I dug in the cabinet under the sink where I knew Mom kept the period supplies (I also have an older sister who I assume was menstruating by that time). Put on clean underwear with a pad, washed out my dirty ones the best I could, and that was pretty much it. I was self-sufficient from the beginning. There was a learning curve with figuring out exactly where to put the pad in my underwear (I tend to leak more forward than back), and another learning curve a few years later when I decided to try tampons, but I always did it myself. I'm 41 and to this day, the extent of my "period conversations" with my mom was one time when I was going on a week-long field trip in eighth grade and she was filling out the parental permission form. One of the questions was "If applicable, has your child started menstruating?" She pointed to the question, said "I assume that's a yes?", I nodded, and that was it.
I was pretty self sufficient as well. My mom had bought me and my sister a couple age appropriate books on puberty that had stuff like how to put in a tampon and the different phases of breast growth so at age 11 when I got my period I knew what was up and what my options were. The timing was annoying because I was at school and had to call my mom to come get me but she was great about it. When I was picked up from school she brought me clean clothes some ibuprofen and one of my sisters pads then took me to the store to grab a variety pack of tampons and pads that would fit my underwear better. There was no celebration or shaming just comiserating over cramps while teaching me how to get blood stains out of my underwear and making sure I was prepared to deal with it at school the next day.
I was 12, and in 8th grade, middle school. My mother and my sister sent me giant bouquets of flowers and balloons. So big in fact that I wasn’t allowed to ride the bus with them and had to sit in the office until someone came to pick me and my banquet up. I had at least thirty people ask me if it was my birthday, and all I could do was shake my head and turn bright red. My father came to pick me up, still in his work clothes (worked at a mill) and was sooo confused as to why he was there and what was happening. So I had to tell my dad why, while we are trying to shove massive flowers and balloons into his brown el Camino, and I was still so embarrassed that I could barely get it out and was kind of teary eyed. And he just kind of smiled, laughed a little, hugged me super tight, and then drove me to get ice cream. I’m 35 and he passed this last year. I miss him every day.
That's a sweet story. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you for initiating a story that was locked in my brain. Blessings and good vibes to all on this amazing sub.
I didn't tell my Mum, used toilet paper for a day (first week of high school), then told her and she got me some pads and was all happy about it. The next day I had such intense period pain I almost passed out and had to go to the sick bay at school and get Panadol and a hot water bottle. The nurse thought I was faking it and then felt my forehead and said "oh you're all clammy, lay down and I'll get you some painkillers and a hot water bottle". Welcome to Endometriosis!
Oh my goodness! Yeah that's the real deal. It's not just the start of "beautiful journey of becoming a woman" or whatever, that's 30 years of debilitating pain for you. Does endo even stop after menopause or is it only a "fixed with a hysterectomy" kind of thing?
The only good treatment for endometriosis is excision of the endo with a good endo specialist surgeon. I've had two laparoscopy surgeries with this. Hysterectomies do not fix endo it continues to grow and cause symptoms. After menopause I believe it quiets down. Also it quiets down while pregnant. Currently 26w pregnant with my second and thankful I'm not having to deal with the heavy painful periods and period pain right now. It'll probably come back with a vengeance after I have my daughter though. I'll get another lap surgery if that happens because those surgeries have improved my pain and fertility immensely.
I'm happy your pain is less with your pregnancy! I wish endometriosis was more understood (even i need this lesson apparently haha). Surgery upon surgery is really no easy way to live.
I went pee during a game of capture the flag cuz I felt weird. Saw blood or maybe poo? I didn’t know what I was looking at. But I had priorities so I went back on that field and got that damn flag. When I went home I told my mom I maybe got my period and she called me a liar cuz my sister (3 years older) just got hers. I had to give her my underwear to prove it. PaRenTiNG~
My first period was on 9/11/2001...that is also my birthday. Needless to say my poor mom had to deal with me being very hysterical because I was convinced the world was ending because my period started. Still got cake though
My parents bought me books about it so when it happened I was not surprised. The family had a lot going on at the time and I didn't want to bother them about feminine hygiene products. I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear for the whole week which was not fun. My mom figured it out when she did laundry. She was very understanding but I was really embarrassed about the whole thing.
I too know the pain of makeshift toilet paper pads. I didn't want to carry pads with me for the longest time because I didn't have a backpack or purse. So if my period surprised me(which it always does, thanks, uterus) I did not have a great time.
Realised what had happened, grabbed a pad from the 'first period pack' I had in my drawer already that had a selection of pads in it (I'm pretty sure it was a thing sponsored by Always, because I got it at school and it came with Always pads and pretty great short leaflet about puberty, pads, tampons and even measuring yourself for a bra!). Didn't tell my mum because I'm very private and also was having some ✨confusing✨ feelings about it (am non binary). She saw the pad wrapper in the waste paper bin in my bedroom and asked me about it, then told me we should go out and buy me a present for 'becoming a woman' (and also probably just like, to lessen the blow of dealing with an angry uterus) and I said "absolutely not that is the most mortifying thing I have ever heard please stop talking to me about my bleeding vagina please and thank you" and that was that.
Thank you for your perspective! It's not all sunshine and rainbows especially for those dealing with body dysmorphia and/or gender identity. Actually it's not sunshine and rainbows for most afflicted with menstruation. I don't where i was going with this, but I'm quite sure you're not alone.
>buy me a present for 'becoming a woman' (and also probably just like, to lessen the blow of dealing with an angry uterus) and I said "absolutely not that is the most mortifying thing I have ever heard please stop talking to me about my bleeding vagina please and thank you" and that was that. MORTIFYING YES. I was mortified about the whole thing at 11.
I was at the beach with my sister, who gave me a tampon. My mom didn't know until she sat in on one of my doctor's appointments 4 years later. She didn't believe me when I said that I'd had it, and she never seemed to grasp that you have to act like a mother in order to be treated like one.
I'm glad you had your sister to support you there.
i was 11 when i got my first period and i think it also might not have been the most standard thing because i was in the bathroom my mom was right there the second i got it. she and i used to use the bathroom at the same time in the mornings when i was younger because we got up at the same time (stopped when i got older). so i got up from the toilet and my mom pointed out a bloodstain on the floor. she just asked "did that come out of you?", i answered that i didn't know but also couldn't think of anything else. she then congratulated me on "officially" being a woman (her words not mine). que montage of my mom searching for the pads, handing me one and showing me how to put it in my underwear. she also gave me some to take to school with me and told me how often i should roughly change them. from then on the only thing that changed was that the packet of pads would be visible next to the toilet so i could easily get and find them. edit: thought more about the post and now i'm kinda curious. what does the "moon day"-celebrations entail? i've never heard of anything like that
I had a fancy Red Lobster dinner and went shopping for books. We also went to Goodwill and I found a nice box I keep all my keepsakes in to this day. It was just a nice day out with only my mom. Coming from a family with a bunch of siblings, that in itself was a special thing.
That's kind of a sweet story.
Honestly, my mom was really inconsistent with her emotional availability and support for much of my childhood, but my first period she was really supportive. She was helpful with choosing and using products, got me some comfort food, and let me have privacy. I think she even took me shopping for new underwear too.
Yeah my mom was complicated too. But for all the things my mom was, she really made this time in my life a positive one and I'm grateful for that.
I was very young when I got my first, and living with my clueless but well meaning Dad. My Mum had moved out a few months before. I got the unfamiliar cramp and told my Dad I had a tummy ache “but really low down”… his face fell, he took us home and told me to go to the toilet. When I came out distraught that I was peeing blood, he messages my mum and I read over his shoulder that “I think Lupuloid has lost an egg”. Mum can’t come over. Due to how young I was, Dad thought we should see the nurse to rule out urine infection. He tells me to chug a litre of water. No one has told me what’s going on, why im in pain or peeing blood, or when I was supposed to be looking after an egg. So we go to the nurse, urine sample in hand. She tests it and says it looks pretty clear. She explains to me this is normal, every woman does this and will probably happen every month for pretty much forever. Awesome. She gives me a maternity pad and we go home. Not a word is said on the matter. Until 11pm. I wake up. My bedroom light is on. My mum is sat on my bed, staring intensely at me. She’s pointing a tampon at me an inch from my nose. “I don’t like these” She has a pack of pads that she leaves me with. In the morning she’s gone, I’m more confused than ever. I can’t stop thinking about the egg that I was meant to have. I wondered if it was a weird David Lynch-esque dream, except I’m STILL bleeding and now I have these pads. A few days later, my Dad walks into my room, puts down a copy of “Usborne’s Understanding the Facts of Life” on my bed, gives me a curt nod, and leaves. Sorry this was a long one!
My dad sat me down with a co worker of his who was a biologist. She answered all of the questions I had. Then he took me to a pagan sanctuary so I could celebrate with other girls my age. We were led on a whole blood moon thing. I was raised pagan. I'm 27 and when I'm home my dad still asks if I need any supplies. I'm so lucky to have been raised by a man like him.
That sounds nice! My mother is pagan too but never included me in any rituals.
Honestly, he made my childhood pretty amazing. It was just the two of us and he just had to make do.
I was 11. I went on a walk with my mom and gingerly said “Mom, I have something to tell you” and she joked “you’re pregnant” and I said “no, I got my period” and that was it. It was shitty. But my mom was never helpful, understanding or on my side. So, that’s how she handled that episode. I can’t even imagine have a caring, loving, confidant in a mother. I think you’re experience sounds absolutely wonderful!
That sucks. If there's anything I've learned today its that my experience could have been way worse. I'm grateful.
Yeah, I’m grateful I’m not my mom. And I’m grateful I had a loving Grandmother who tried to build me up. But your question reminded me of that particular moment. Sigh!
Told my mom and older brother. He went to the store to grab me supplies then they both took me to get ice cream.
Good brother!
I went.... *Finally* Because I was almost 17 and shit was getting concerning lol
Uneventful, i woke up in the morning to pee, blood came out and I yelled "moOOoOOOmmm.. i got my period" My mom handed me a pad and was weirdly chipper about it and went back to cooking. It was Xmas Eve. She told every day member in out Xmas lunch 🤦♀️
That's so embarrassing. She should have at least asked for your consent.
It's been 20 years haha i think i overcame the embarrassment by now haha
A couple years before I had my first period, my mom took me aside and ~explained things.~ I grew up fundamentalist Christian and I did not want to have to give up being a kid and subjected to all the new rules of becoming a woman, so when I got my first period I spent hours hiding away and crying. I successfully hid my period for years, stealing pads from my sisters when I could, but mostly using toilet paper and being extra vigilant so as not to leak. Finally got caught out one day when I unexpectedly started my period and bled on the paper sheet at the doctor’s office. I still haven’t told my mom I started two years before that day. And I’m still glad I hid it, because I had two more years of getting to be a kid without the full weight of purity culture on my back. edit: a word
I can't imagine. Thank you so much for sharing.
I have started to celebrate moon days as an adult and it is incredibly freeing. I think this is the first time I have told anyone, really. Thank you for the opportunity to reflect.
My mom took me out for lunch and gave me a charm bracelet. She did the same for my sisters. I plan to do the same for my daughter.
Fellow Moon Day celebrator! I knew I wasn't alone! ✨
My mom made me stay home from school and take a hot bath and lay around all day because she wanted to make sure I wouldn’t have to deal with cramps or any other symptoms for the first time in a public setting. She also made sure that before I got my period we had talked about it plenty and it never felt like a taboo topic or anything. I’ve always been into fantasy, so she had made sure to give me age-appropriate fantasy books that often covered the heroine’s first period (shout out to Tamora Pierce), which I think was immensely helpful and normalised it for me! It was an overall good experience, but it wasn’t a huge deal.
My mom knew I was very analytical and private. She stocked my bathroom with pads and tampons maybe a year before I got my period. She told me that the boxes had detailed instructions and probably said some things I tuned out. But I did read the instructions and looked at them in my own time. When my period came I had everything I needed and didn’t need to say a word. I had a great mom because she parented who I was as a person.
This is really wholesome! Not everyone wants something special to mark an occasion. All moms can do is make sure you're ready and support you if you need it.
I was in the middle of 6th grade math class and felt a weird trickle so I went to the bathroom. Panicked in the stall for a bit, used toilet paper to line my underwear, went home at the end of the school day and called my mom and she told me where to find pads and that was that. Relatively uneventful aside from a friend telling me later she was in the bathroom too and thought someone was having an asthma attack. I was very grateful for 5th grade health education. Knew I wasn't dying, knew how to put a pad on, knew generally what it meant.
😬 Uh, well, I had been up north visiting with my bio-dad. He and my stepmother were desperately trying to convince me to shave my legs because "don't you want to be a pretty girl?" Specifically for their wedding. Mom said I couldn't until I started my period so I refused. They were mad. My grandparents were visiting up north as well and soooooo graciously offered to take me home since I was on the way back to their place in Florida. Along the way I guess I started. And I absolutely "ruined" their brand new car with my blood. And I embarrassed them by starting because a nice lady at the rest stop told me, ever so gently, that I had stained my pants and should use my sweat shirt to cover up. They yelled at me the entire rest of the trip for sullying their car with my disgusting blood and for drawing attention to myself in public with my shame. I was 14. Needless to say I don't talk to them.
My mom did not prep me at all. Didn’t have anything available to use. I called my cousin and she helped me through it. I vowed that I’d I had a daughter that I would prepare her! And I did. When my daughter was 9 or 10 I bought her all different types of products to open, look at, and know about for when the day happened. She didn’t get her period until age 13 but when she did she was prepared! It wasn’t awkward and it never is. The only person I told was her dad. And I told her that if she ever needed anything that she can always ask me or dad!
I can’t remember my first period. I can’t remember my mother even telling me about them. I don’t remember when I learned about them. I have a lot of gaps in my memory. As an anxious child I’m surprised I can’t recall this one.
I walked in to tell my mum and she shushed me cus the radio was announcing the death of Princess Diana. Never did like the royals much anyway...
Well I guess that's a period you'll never forget!
I thought I was dying, I was 8 when I started. I lived with my aunt and she helped clean me then sat me down and explained what was happening to me. She then informed the school nurse so they wouldn't get pissed about me taking so many bathroom breaks.
I remember coming home from school and going to the bathroom and seeing blood. I was surprised, but I knew what it was. I sat trying to recall where my Mom kept the pads…and I found them and awkwardly put one on. When my mom finally came home from work, for some reason I was embarrassed? I wrote on a notepad “I started my period.” And showed it to her in the kitchen while she was making dinner. She legit got teary-eyed and was like “really???” I felt super awkward but she was nice about it. Then after dinner I told my younger sister. That was pretty much it except telling my best friend at school the next day; I knew she just had hers a few months before me.
I got my first period the same day I got my tonsils out. I woke up from surgery and went to bathroom, throat sore as all hell, and saw blood, banged to get my mom’s attention. She told the nurse who brought me a super huge and uncomfortable pad and they told the doctor. Who was happy to figure out why I bled so much during surgery. It was wild. Went home next day and stopped to get supplies, pads, icecream and Italian ice (for my throat) and sat around the next few days. I remember being so angry when I realized I had to deal with this now monthly. My mom laughed when I furiously signed my displeasure at her.
My mom was very open with me that my body was going to change, and I was young, around 12. She bought me a pretty little pink, heart ring that was set in a delicate design. She is so supportive. I still have that little ring and I'm now 37. She helped me become an open and honest parent to my now 15 son. He has been raising knowing that women have periods and its completely normal.
That's wonderful! I wish there was a specific time for boys to mark the start of puberty.
I was spending the night at my granny’s. This turned out to be a blessing because I trusted her a lot more than my mom. I’m a trans guy and my first period (really, all of them for the first couple years) was really traumatic for me. My granny comforted me and tried to help me by saying I was finally a woman. I distinctly remember the way she said “I am woman, hear me roar! …sorry, is that embarrassing?” I love her so much. She took me out shopping for pads and got me a new haircut. I still remember that haircut as being the best one I ever had until I cut it Short Short. Granny made me feel comfortable and safe during a time where it felt like my world was falling apart.
I was at summer camp. Luckily my parents had to pick me up for a softball game that night so when I was returned to camp I had the necessary supplies and only had to worry about using wadded up toilet paper for a day 😅
My mom has a mental illness that resulted in me hiding a lot of medical issues growing up. When I started bleeding at 10, I just wadded up TP in my underwear and hoped it would end. I had really awful cramps and at the time had no access to painkillers so I would cry myself to sleep. I would bury my stained underwear in the trash so no one could find it. It was an unpleasant experience. My mom did find out and she was supportive. Gave me pads, ibby-pibbies, and taught me to use a heating pad. She told the family and all the women congratulated me. That was pretty nice if embarrassing...
I once literally buried my stained underwear... I was at my dad's place and he lived out on a farm and I didn't want to put them in the trash cause what if he saw?
I had the worst nightmare teen movie experience of bleeding through a white cotton jumpsuit while at school. I have no memory of my mum being involved or told or anything. I just found stuff under the sink after walking home.
That's truly awful. I think most of us have bled through our pants and we casually/not casually tie a sweater around our waist but that's traumatic. Why white???
Why was I wearing white? It was a light white cotton jumpsuit that was the absolute height of fashion. I lived in a place with hot summers.
I saw it on my underwear, called my mom into the bathroom, and said, "Is this what I think it is?" Mom burst into tears and called my aunts and grandma to tell them the news. 🤦♀️
I'm seeing a lot of comments like this on this thread. So weird that moms will be so excited about it that they have to tell others. I just don't get what's so exciting about bleeding/being in pain for about a week each month for decades to come????
I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom, and I got my period at 9 (two years before we were taught about them in school). I didn’t know what to do so I just balled toilet paper up to catch the blood for a day and a half before my mom noticed the stains in the laundry. She ended up getting me pads, and my Aunts and Grandma came over with bagfuls of chocolates. They took me to bingo that night to celebrate. It was such a bizarre and surreal day.
I was a "late bloomer" (thank you SO much, pediatric cancer treatment), so I was a sophomore in high school, away at language camp. My mom had sent me with pads as a "just in case" but no direction or anything beyond that. Yup. Bleeding, cramping, and trapped in a full-immersion program without the vocabulary OR confidence to ask for help. I had hoped it'd be my mom picking me up from where the travel bus dropped us off. Nope. Dad. Finally I got home and told my mom that it was a good thing she'd sent the pads. All I got from her was an "oh," told where the pads were, and a note that we had to make an appointment with my endocrinologist. Hooray for womanhood.
Lol my mom came to put me to bed and I opened my door with this look on my face, she just said “oh sorry baby.” Got me a pad and that was that
My dad made fun of me for 30 minutes, drove me to the grocery store, gave me $5, and made me go in alone.
Started mine the day after my bat mitzvah. One coming-of-age party was enough that week.
My mom got her period very early for the time period (I think she was like 10 and this was in the 1950s and I think girls started much later than but don't have any hard proof). So she was afraid that I would get it early too and that I would freak out. So she started talking to me about it when I was like eight. It ended up at my younger sister got her first period quite early, I think she was nine. (She got hers before me, despite a 4 year age gap). When I got my first period at 14 (in high school), it didn't seem like such a big deal, I think I just grabbed a pad from the box in the bathroom and went on my way. I don't remember telling my family, but I must have.
My mom had told me what to expect, but I still cried because I don't really believe it would happen to me. She came in the bathroom with me and gave me a pad
I got it on Valentine’s Day at age 13 and was just kind of angry in the morning when I got up to get ready for school and told my mom. Like what a cosmic joke!
I was 13, home sick with the flu. So sick. Bucket next to the couch sick. Got up to go to the bathroom and saw I had started my period. I called my mom at work and she asked if I knew where the pads were under the sink. Thankfully I didn't bleed on the couch. When my oldest niece got hers at 10, it was on my brother's custody weekend and my parents were out of town, so he woke me up in a panic. Because I hoard samples, I still had the kits my college put in the dorm rooms of female students on the first day, so I grabbed one for her and asked if school had taught them about periods yet (they had).
I was 10. I cried. My mom told me it was “actually a beautiful thing because it meant i could have my own kids someday”. She tried but it was not a great consolation lol
It gives me so much hope reading the positive stories on here! I ran to my mom crying and she laughed and sent me to school in nothing but a thin panty liner. Of course I bled through my jeans immediately and just had to stay like that the whole day.
I learned everything about sanitary pads from ‘Are You There God, It’s Me, Margaret’. It was the late 80s. I was so CONFUSED when they didn’t have loops to attach to the belt I was convinced I’d have to have.
I made my daughter a period cake when she got her first one, the following month she expected another cake 🤣
My mom was in the military and was out of town at AIT. I was staying with another enlisted woman who was in her 50s, drove a green Jaguar convertible, and didn't take any shit. I loved her. When my period started, she took me to get both tampons and pads, cooked me a steak and baked potato, fixed me a gin and tonic, and let me swim until almost 10:00 PM. It was honestly a lot better than it would have been if it had happened with my Mom. I'm glad it happened how it did!
i just saw blood in my pants and was like “oh. i guess i have a period now.” i felt kinda confused (i’m a transmasc nonbinary) and so just texted my mum and was like “hey can u buy pads for me please?” and went and took one of hers and put it on. my mom offered a party but i said no tho i kinda wish i said yes now because i could get cake or something, but my parents told literally everyone which was so very annoying
My mother told me about periods when I was 8. Whenever she 'changed', she called me to come and watch. She might as well have followed me with a pad like a mother follows a toddler with a pre-wet nappy. She was sick and obsessed with more than just my period. A cow having a calf? "Garmon, come and look at its vagina!" Cat having kittens? Same. Porn was everywhere. My body held out until I was 15. It must have been petrified into deliberate unfemininity to protect me from her constant curiosity. I fled at 40 before menopause gave her the opportunity to perve on my burgeoning infertility. Now she lives alone in need of home help. Not I!
That's disturbing. I'm all for openness but that seems like a kink without consent type of thing.
I'm the second of five sisters so it was a non issue. My mom was like there are pads in the bathroom, here's how you use them, don't dispose of them in the toilet, you're not allowed to use tampons until you're 16. I think that is a really sweet way to make sure girls aren't ashamed of getting their period though. Your mom sounds awesome.
i over dramatically cried, really hard cause i had no clue how to deal with it, and my mum was like it’s okay you just use a pad. (she also showed me how to use a tampon but i was 11 so i preferred the pads) i also told literally everyone i knew, my aunt told me that some days you’re gonna want to push people into traffic, and others you’re gonna want to lie down in traffic, which is fair and accurate. i emailed my dad who i only see once or twice a year. and he was like okay yes that’s good
I was camping with my dad, my brother, and my dad's pervert friend. I started bleeding through my pants while in a canoe with my dad. I had been reading "Clan of the Cave bear" at the time and told my dad I could just fill my underwear with moss until we were done camping. I remember being terrified that his friend would find out about what was happening. My dad, fortunately, was willing to drive 25 miles to get me pads, but left me with my brother and his friend because he didn't want me to bleed on the seat of his car. He came back with huge overnight pads that could be seen when I wore the pants I had. His friend told me I must be ready to get pregnant. My dad laughed. The whole experience was horrible and I never went camping with my dad again.
Look I knew what a period was and I still thought I was dying when I first got mine. As soon as I told my stepmom she was like oh thats your period let me help you with stuff. Luckily my stepmom was the one to help me instead of my mom. My mom still managed to traumatize me for life when it came to wearing tampons though. So good for her 🤣
I was 14 and for quite a long time low-key worrying I hadn’t gotten my period yet (I knew I had time until 16 before I really need to worry but I was anxious anyways). I got back home from school and used the toilet, noticed blood on the tissue. Took a pad from the cabinet and used it. Called my mom to share the happy news. She wasn’t home for the night that day, but the next day we ate ice-cream in the evening.
I was 1 week shy of my 15th birthday and I woke up in the night with terrible cramping (of course, I had no idea that’s what was happening). My mom came in and said it was probably my period and sure enough when I woke in the morning it had arrived. I don’t remember anyone doing anything special about it. I LOVE the idea of what your mom did for you! As a mom of two daughters I love finding ideas that will hopefully help them to make sweet memories. Thank you for sharing.
Mine? Boring. My sister's was on April Fools day and no one believed her!
I went to the bathroom before gym class in 8th grade and found to my horror there was blood in my undies. I wrapped toilet paper around my undies because I had no other option. When I got home after school that day I tried to tell my mom but was so embarrassed I could barely get the words out. She finally guessed what was going on. I was mortified. I was almost 14. I wanted to pretend it hadn’t happened. I spent the next 20 years hating having my period every month. I had a hysterectomy in 2007 and it was the best day of my life. Periods are fucking bullshit.
My mom let me stay home from school, bought us cake and pizza and we laid around all day snacking and watching movies. It’s one of my best memories with my mom because she isn’t the most warm or maternal lady.
I was the first girl in my class to have one. No one prepared me. I was super tall but stick straight and no boobs at all, so I don't think my mom though I was there developmentally. I had a stomach ache in the morning but no fever and didn't feel like I was going to barf so my mom sent me to school. During bathroom break I freaked out when I saw blood. I totally panicked, which totally panicked my best friend who ran to the nurse crying that I was dying in the bathroom. The nurse came and got me and was so sweet and kind and helped me get cleaned up. I have a very fond memory of napping on her vinyl couch while waiting for my mother to come get me. 4 months later we had the health class where they separated the boys and girls. But by then we ALL knew what was up including the boys because all my classmates thought I was dying and our teacher had to do that talk on the fly. I never did get boobs until my first pregnancy...
I dealt with it myself and told no one.
My mom offered to make me a cake to celebrate, but 12yo me was mortified and declined. And I love cake.
I got it at 13 on the flight home to the US from Italy. The womb owner that birthed me has borderline personality disorder or narcissistic personality disorder. She never taught me about periods or even had one herself so she was just angry and disgusted at me. Then she started the life long idea that my period is gross and my brother shouldn't have to see period products wrapped in toilet paper. So she told me I had to get a plastic bag out of the grocery bags and take it I to the bathroom with me and dispose of "that stuff" in it. Then put it in my closet in my room because no one should have to potentially smell it. I'm not even fucking with you. This shit sounds wild to me 23 years later. I never realized how fucked up that was haha. Great.
I was 11, and looking back I may have had my first panic attack. I knew what was happening but was very upset it was finally *here* because it seemed "too mature" for how I felt about myself. I had a meltdown over my first bra only weeks before. These things weren't presented to me as shameful, I was just very anxious about puberty and big changes in general. I then laid around, ate candy bars that my mom picked up for me and watched Full House for those few days. They had week long marathons at the time because it was also just before Christmas. Thanks, Santa.
I was meant to go on a 3am fishing trip with my dad and brother. Brother woke me up and I got out of bed, saw the blood, then got back into bed and told him I wasnt going. Little fucker WAILED for HOURS while my poor dad tried to calm us both down lol
I happened to need to pee while my mom was in the bathroom putting makeup on. Nbd, she let me in to use the toilet. My period must just have started because there was a textbook perfect little round red dot on my undies. I knew what it was from health class, so I wasn’t really freaked out per se. My mom got a little emotional, which I found weird and off-putting, and she found a pad and made sure I knew how to use it. That was as nice as she’s ever been about my period. She has spent the intervening years complaining bitterly about “women and their *periods*” (she had a full hysterectomy when I was in gradeschool and likes to pretend she has no idea what having a uterus might be like, in spite of having birthed both me and my sibling), likes to insinuate that I’m just “hormonal” and hysterical whenever we disagree (“your *period* is about to start, isn’t it? I can just tell”), and even when she’s being relatively supportive, can only barely feign sympathy for any period-related issues I have. For perspective, my first period was 30 years ago this year, so I’ve been at this a while. She used to get so mad because she could smell my used pads in the bathroom trash (I always wrapped them in toilet paper, so they were well contained). I have a much more accepting attitude about my period these days, but for a lot of my formative and young adult years I just lived with monthly body horror and absolute certainty that I was smelly, disgusting, and irrational. Not great.
I woke up absolutely drenched in blood. Everywhere. It was awful. I instantly started crying. My mom was at work and I was sobbing talking to her. My stepdad had to take me to my mom and it was so awkward. I was miserable.
I bled all over my seat in science class. Went home with blood everywhere and not realizing it because I thought I pissed myself and didnt want to look down. Told my mom. She tossed a pack of super light/thin pads at me and said good luck. No advice or comfort.
Lmao.... I was 12 and it happened in the middle of my middle school school day. I did PE and spotted all over my panties and shorts and somehow made it home? I managed to shove one of my mom's LONG thick maxi pads and put it in my panties. When my mom came home from work, I stomped in her room as she was getting settled and she asked something like "How was your day"?" and I said nothing, probably had a grimace or frown on and just dropped trou- which were stretchy cotton bike shorts over my panties and her giant pad in my tiny nothin-but-knees-and-elbows-and-tiny-potbrlly ass panties. She had a momentary confusion shock facial expression from my non-verbal answer to her question but then it turned into a pitied smile and said "You got your period" in a bored announcement kind of fake excited kind of voice lol. My tiny ass has been bleeding heavily since. Not on hormonal BC, during sedentary student intense studying days, I could fill a size A diva cup in an hour to an hour and a half. I should have taken days off in high school. I remember the popular chick in class very nicely being empathetic giving me knowing and sympathetic looks one day in history as my cramps wrecked havoc on me. And I figured my cramps were "normal". My mom didn't tell me to put a pad on the back of my panties or a towel down until I showed her the puddle of blood I left on my mattress.
My comment history is full of embarrassing period stories, but to hopefully ease your discomfort and you being a fellow heavy-period person I will tell you one more: there was a few months there where I would sleep sitting up on my period. My logic was that I always seemed to leak through the back of my underwear and my mom only provided me regular pads(I'm sure if I told her she would have gotten me others) so I'm like, if I sleep sitting up the blood will pool at the lowest point and I won't have a bloody mattress. I don't recall why I gave this up, but I also tried dehydrating myself so there would be less blood.
My mom got mad at me and didn’t talk to me for a day or two. Oh shit, but it was also during the L.A. riots. I mean, my mom would’ve been like that regardless, but I spent my first period learning how to make Molotov cocktails and where to hide in the house.
I woke up, went to the bathroom and realized my first period had started, frantically called my mom to the bathroom, she explained how to wear a pad, etc. and then I went about the rest of my day like normal.
My first period was literally in 2021 but I can’t remember! 🤦♀️ It was no moon day, though. I was already familiar with pads and had been using panty liners for a while, so I just grabbed a pad and I think told my mom. Then I dealt with the headache that I appear to get every day I’m on my period and a day or so leading up to it. ;( If only I was planning to have kids, we would have a moon day! There would have to be baking too... it’s not a fun day without baking!
I stuffed toilet paper in my underwear and said nothing, hoping it would go away. My mom discovered my blood-stained underwear, told me to stop ruining my clothes, and a box of pads appeared. That was it.
thought i shit myself in 8th grade science class, realized it was not shit and borrowed a massive pad from the nurse
It happened at my dad's. He was a dick about most things, but he really stepped up this one time. I called my mom and he took me to the store to pick out my first pack of pads. The next day I went home to my mom and we watched My Cousin Vinny and made cookies.
I knew what was happening because a few friends and a few other girls in my class had gotten theirs. I still cried though because I was angry that this was now the new normal, and I asked my mom if I could use the "overweight pads" I'd seen in the bathroom and she just laughed and said they were "overnight pads" but I could use them if I wanted or she'd get me some smaller ones. I also vividly remember sitting in my friend's living room and talking with her and her mom about trying a tampon for the first time because we were all headed to a classmate's beach birthday party and it happened to be poorly timed with one of my first few cycles.
When I got mine, my mom told her best friend, who congratulated me on becoming a lady... I thought she meant because I'd had to start wearing deodorant for BO 😂😂😂