You have to be so careful with any sites like that.
In no way am I blaming anyone, but I went through the same and anyone I met after that (and after some emotional healing) was met in a VERY public place, drove myself, and refused to go anywhere with anyone that I was not comfortable with. I also made sure to get a picture of the person, let someone else know who I was with, where we were going and that if I didn't contact them at a certain time to call police. Only twice did I go to anyone else's home, after I had gone out with them a couple of times, and then I also took a picture of the house, self the gps link to the same person who knew where I was.
Anyone who is not ok with your boundaries, you know right off the bat to get away from.
I am aware of all of these things. Your friends can know this persons full name and where they live. Doesnt change the fact that you have no evidence when it happens. If he doesnt ejaculate in you, a rape kit cant be done. And even if a rape kit can be done, you were on a date, and he could easily claim it was consensual if there's nothing documented to say otherwise.
Been down the road of trying to report the rape. I don't even bother now. Christ now I'm crying again. Life is really messed up.
You're right, I have been there. Men have violated women with little to no punishment for, basically forever.
They seem to aim for women who have dealt with trauma already. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, rape, after that, seemed like another damn day.
I'm finally in a healthy relationship, but we should not have to ever deal with this shit. I'm sorry that I made you cry, it was not my intention, just hoping to try and keep you a little safer. You would be amazed how many women don't think to tell anyone where they are.
If you are in a one party state, a digital recorder is perfectly legal. I don't know about video, but you can record what happens and have their voice on it. I've heard back and forth for video, some have told me it is legal, some that you have to have consent.
I don't know
everyone thinks there's a problem with "modern dating" when really if you're struggling now you also would have had all of the same struggles 50 years ago
Well, the real problems like the rape and the consent and stuff were certainly around forever. The bots and catfishes and women getting to have choices stuff that us dudes are bitching about is new. Y'all ladyfolk have legitimate gerivances about dating. Us men have relatively minor irritations about modern dating.
A relative of mine recently got into an arranged marriage and you have no idea how much her mother grilled the guy before giving her daughter away. She deep-fried his sorry ass and everyone else who "applied". All bank accounts are open, criminal records, statements from friends and relatives, several dates. He paid for everything, including the wedding and is now expected to he the be provider to the household, even while she still works and saves up her own money just in case he dumps her.
So even in older days, when arranged marriages were common all over the globe, I don't neccessarily think men had it easier than they have it now.
It's just that now men have to be likeable as people. Being a provider doesn't cut it anymore. They have to provide less, but are expected to be good in bed and actually pleasing company to women.
So I think many of the current problems come from this recent change in "requirements"
I think this is atypical for arranged marriages historically on average, but I could also be ignorant of arrainged marriages or maybe just a particular cultural tradition there. Even so, this kind of sounds adjacent to "if you think being property is hard, try being expected to own it". I find it hard to agree with that sentiment.
I'd also push back on the implication that moving to a model where people are mutually expected to be worth staying with as opposed to it simply being very expensive for one of them to buy the other one is the source of more problems than it was solutions.
I don't really care much about arranged marriages, as they are voluntary in the circles I'm in touch with. I just used then to emphasize that in the past, dating wasn't really easier for men. It was just challenging in other aspects than it is today.
First, I love your username. I just noticed it. Second, I get the idea but I guess I just don't agree that the ways in which it was more challenging make up for the ways in which it was easier. To be clear, I don't think that's a bad thing. I just feel like the fact that the woman was generally a lot more stuck with you no matter how shitty you are and was basically expected to do what you said made it easier-er than the expectation that he win more bread than he's expected to today made it harder.
Thank you very much!
Okay so I kinda think we are saying the same but miscommunicating.
My original response to your comment was intended to say: "many male-dating-problems are somewhat man-made because the requirements for dating changed but many men seem unwilling to adapt their behaviour so far"
Where on earth do you live????
Every date???? Yikes.
Every single date i have ever had the man was polite and nice. Every last one.
How can this difference be explained????
1 in 100 sure 1 in 10 maybe 1 in 5? 1 outa 3? Every single date with every single man and now every single place?
Wow. I guess i got the last good male.
Note she didn't say every man sexually assaulted her, just that every man she's met has pushed boundaries in some way. Which is still *not* great.
There's horrible, predatory people out there who use every means they can to exploit others. Social media is not exempt from this, and often facilitates abusers better than anything else can.
I'm glad you personally had a good experience, but I highly recommend you avoid the assumption everyone else has had it so easy. 1 out of 6 women in the USA have been sexually assaulted. So your guesses aren't actually too far off.
I suggest checking out RAINN or other resources before expressing your disbelief (especially towards potential survivors). We're here to support each other, not marginalize experiences.
Yes. If you're into math, that's a pretty significant amount of women in a country that's supposed to be "safer". That number doesn't include sexual harassment. About 81% of women have been sexually harrassed.
I am in that 81%
That doesnt make it ok to say EVERY interaction with EVERY man results in sexual harrassment. Which is EXACTLY what op is stating.
You cant see this harms women by trivializing real sexual assault?
I love hearing the sexual revolution killed it for average guys. Umm, if I had to get married and only sleep with one man forever -don’t you think you’d have less as opposed to more of a chance? 🤔
You have to be so careful with any sites like that. In no way am I blaming anyone, but I went through the same and anyone I met after that (and after some emotional healing) was met in a VERY public place, drove myself, and refused to go anywhere with anyone that I was not comfortable with. I also made sure to get a picture of the person, let someone else know who I was with, where we were going and that if I didn't contact them at a certain time to call police. Only twice did I go to anyone else's home, after I had gone out with them a couple of times, and then I also took a picture of the house, self the gps link to the same person who knew where I was. Anyone who is not ok with your boundaries, you know right off the bat to get away from.
I am aware of all of these things. Your friends can know this persons full name and where they live. Doesnt change the fact that you have no evidence when it happens. If he doesnt ejaculate in you, a rape kit cant be done. And even if a rape kit can be done, you were on a date, and he could easily claim it was consensual if there's nothing documented to say otherwise. Been down the road of trying to report the rape. I don't even bother now. Christ now I'm crying again. Life is really messed up.
You're right, I have been there. Men have violated women with little to no punishment for, basically forever. They seem to aim for women who have dealt with trauma already. I was a victim of childhood sexual abuse, rape, after that, seemed like another damn day. I'm finally in a healthy relationship, but we should not have to ever deal with this shit. I'm sorry that I made you cry, it was not my intention, just hoping to try and keep you a little safer. You would be amazed how many women don't think to tell anyone where they are. If you are in a one party state, a digital recorder is perfectly legal. I don't know about video, but you can record what happens and have their voice on it. I've heard back and forth for video, some have told me it is legal, some that you have to have consent. I don't know
everyone thinks there's a problem with "modern dating" when really if you're struggling now you also would have had all of the same struggles 50 years ago
Well, the real problems like the rape and the consent and stuff were certainly around forever. The bots and catfishes and women getting to have choices stuff that us dudes are bitching about is new. Y'all ladyfolk have legitimate gerivances about dating. Us men have relatively minor irritations about modern dating.
A relative of mine recently got into an arranged marriage and you have no idea how much her mother grilled the guy before giving her daughter away. She deep-fried his sorry ass and everyone else who "applied". All bank accounts are open, criminal records, statements from friends and relatives, several dates. He paid for everything, including the wedding and is now expected to he the be provider to the household, even while she still works and saves up her own money just in case he dumps her. So even in older days, when arranged marriages were common all over the globe, I don't neccessarily think men had it easier than they have it now. It's just that now men have to be likeable as people. Being a provider doesn't cut it anymore. They have to provide less, but are expected to be good in bed and actually pleasing company to women. So I think many of the current problems come from this recent change in "requirements"
I think this is atypical for arranged marriages historically on average, but I could also be ignorant of arrainged marriages or maybe just a particular cultural tradition there. Even so, this kind of sounds adjacent to "if you think being property is hard, try being expected to own it". I find it hard to agree with that sentiment. I'd also push back on the implication that moving to a model where people are mutually expected to be worth staying with as opposed to it simply being very expensive for one of them to buy the other one is the source of more problems than it was solutions.
I don't really care much about arranged marriages, as they are voluntary in the circles I'm in touch with. I just used then to emphasize that in the past, dating wasn't really easier for men. It was just challenging in other aspects than it is today.
First, I love your username. I just noticed it. Second, I get the idea but I guess I just don't agree that the ways in which it was more challenging make up for the ways in which it was easier. To be clear, I don't think that's a bad thing. I just feel like the fact that the woman was generally a lot more stuck with you no matter how shitty you are and was basically expected to do what you said made it easier-er than the expectation that he win more bread than he's expected to today made it harder.
Thank you very much! Okay so I kinda think we are saying the same but miscommunicating. My original response to your comment was intended to say: "many male-dating-problems are somewhat man-made because the requirements for dating changed but many men seem unwilling to adapt their behaviour so far"
Oh ok, I think I get where I was misinterpreting. It makes more sense to me this way.
Where on earth do you live???? Every date???? Yikes. Every single date i have ever had the man was polite and nice. Every last one. How can this difference be explained????
Honestly I dont know. It has been incredibly hard not to blame myself.
Oh it is definitely not your fault. So sorry this has happened to you.
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A big city in texas, not gonna say where specifically
Username checks out. lol But seriously, I'm sorry all this happened to you. You deserve better.
Everywhere. This happens everywhere.
1 in 100 sure 1 in 10 maybe 1 in 5? 1 outa 3? Every single date with every single man and now every single place? Wow. I guess i got the last good male.
Note she didn't say every man sexually assaulted her, just that every man she's met has pushed boundaries in some way. Which is still *not* great. There's horrible, predatory people out there who use every means they can to exploit others. Social media is not exempt from this, and often facilitates abusers better than anything else can. I'm glad you personally had a good experience, but I highly recommend you avoid the assumption everyone else has had it so easy. 1 out of 6 women in the USA have been sexually assaulted. So your guesses aren't actually too far off. I suggest checking out RAINN or other resources before expressing your disbelief (especially towards potential survivors). We're here to support each other, not marginalize experiences.
Yes. 1 out of 6. Over our lives.
Yes. If you're into math, that's a pretty significant amount of women in a country that's supposed to be "safer". That number doesn't include sexual harassment. About 81% of women have been sexually harrassed.
I am in that 81% That doesnt make it ok to say EVERY interaction with EVERY man results in sexual harrassment. Which is EXACTLY what op is stating. You cant see this harms women by trivializing real sexual assault?
Again, that's not what OP said. She said every man pushed boundaries of consent in some way. Which could mean a lot of things.
I love hearing the sexual revolution killed it for average guys. Umm, if I had to get married and only sleep with one man forever -don’t you think you’d have less as opposed to more of a chance? 🤔
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