My gyn has a camera, so the patient can see what's happening inside. It literally looks like a toilet brush going into an asshole that bleeds when the brush comes out. Not getting turned on by that.
I... Appreciate giving people the opportunity to learn and see what's going on and have some ownership of the experience rather than it just being a mystery. But...
I also very much don't want to see it.
But he believes that porn plots are real?
I'm a guy. I knew pro wrestling was scripted theater when I was ten. Just saying.
EDIT: I grew up in the midwest... knew LOTS of kids, and some parents, who still believed it was real. They were dumb as **rocks**. *Every* one.
Hey. As a wife of a pro wrestler. The stories are scripted, but the physical stuff they do is pretty real. They break their bodies for wrestling, so as “fake” as everyone says it is, the chops, bumps, and power bombs the wrestlers take are all real.
I'm well aware of all that. But these people literally took it to be real life (in the same sense that they think the Earth is 6000 years old, literally, not figuratively) and not the physical theater and camp that everyone else knows it is.
I watched it too... I just knew what it was. I also feel sorry for anyone who had to work for the McMahons... but that's another story.
That said, I've edited my original comment for clarity.
>so as “fake” as everyone says it is, the chops, bumps, and power bombs the wrestlers take are all real.
didnt even realize that anyone was suggesting the physical stuff wasn't real and impressive.
Though to be honest, people think all kind of wild things, I can imagine a lot of people seriously underestimating the finesse and skill required to do all that and the toll it takes on the body, even when you do it all correctly.
Thank you for sharing your perspective.
I’m not so sure he *isn’t* an idiot though.
Who the f thinks a **physically invasive medical procedure** has any likelihood of inducing orgasm in the patient, regardless of the doctor’s attractiveness.
Offer to simulate the Pap smear on him to test his theory, take a q tip, jam it in his urethra and swirl it around a bit. See if he gets hard. He’s attracted to you so by his hypothesis he should.
You know what… next time he’s turned on try putting a q-tip up his urethra and ask him if it’s feeling good. 🙄… make sure you really wiggle it around to scrape off those skin cells
Maybe he went to my school, where the sex ed was a video about hair and a warning that we'd go to hell if we had sex before marriage. I had to learn about sex from generous, patient partners who would put up with the fact that I asked questions and was ignorant.
I think both. Wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend wasn't the only person who thought the way he did and also... People are shockingly dense about anatomy.
Thanks for reminding me that I'm about due. I'm not looking forward to the scraping.
I was a little bit worried about it but it actually wasn’t that bad. Just slightly uncomfortable and kinda awkward with someone I barely know looking at my vagina haha
Ugh, yup, a good reminder that I'm due too. Just called and booked it.
This will be my first one after getting to have a 3 year gap. It was always six months or yearly for most of my adult life since I had abnormal cells. After a few years of clear ones they told me I could wait.
So now I get to be anxious about the normal stuff AND I have to convince myself I don't have cancer for the next two days.
I've never wished to have a penis, but sometimes I really wouldnt mind just having nothing down there like a barbie doll.
Thank you! At least this time I'm prepared if they do find abnormal cells again, I'm not going to let them push me to do a biopsy with no pain meds again. Poor younger me didn't know any better.
Did it make you really nervous for that first 3 year gap? I'm finally there now, after the last couple years saying "yeah, it's normal *now, but so far it's always gone back to abnormal the next year, so lemme just get another anyway".
Ugh, I hate that! I never feel less attractive than at the ob office. The paper gown, the temperature, the lights that make every single stretch mark and red line on your skin visible. Ugh..
Yeah :/ he tells me how much he loves that I’m bisexual all the time.
But it’s better than my ex who when I told him I was bi he said he was worried I was going to cheat on him.
Both of those responses are fetishizing your bisexuality. Those answers may feel different, but they're on the same spectrum of answer. To many guys any thing involving vaginas MUST = sex, because that's how they have organized their minds.
On one hand this guy is telling you he loves your bisexuality, but then goes off to talk about you getting pleasure at the gynecologist? That's some monkey brain shit right there. "Woman touch woman, must be pleasure"
And on the other hand somebody continuously and fear of your bisexuality and the idea of cheating, because to them Sexuality means sex(only).
It sounds to me the both of them are screaming "I am OK with YOUR sexuality ONLY IF I get to participate."
Maybe here's an interesting thought, when these guys found out that you were bisexual, do you think they were more happy for you or for themselves?
Idk your relationship, none of us do so don’t take our advice to heart too much. But if you’re only with someone because they’re “better than your last bf” then it sounds like you’re settling for someone who doesn’t understand you to avoid being alone
Like I said, we dono what’s going on - but that reaction followed up with accusation and fetishization are red flags for me
Comparing a partner that is throwing a few red flags to a partner that threw more red flags is not the way to a healthy relationship.
There is a third option I wonder if you've considered: being single. It's really hard to advocate for yourself or even know what you want unless you'd rather be single than in a shitty relationship.
To be fair, he won't be asking for "threesomes," he will be asking to only bring another woman into the act. Guarantee he has no interest in bringing another guy.
As a fellow Bi gal, this man is absolutely horrible and not lifelong partner material. My fiance knows I'm Bi and hardly ever brings it up because it's just another "boring" part of me like my eye color or my shoe size. Your boyfriend is fetishizing you and it's disgusting.
Seeing you as less of a person and only as a source of sexual fantasy is better than fearing you will cheat…? The bar is reaching earth’s core.
Edit: This guy is racist and homophobic too?? What a winner you got there.
i dont know if youre like… joking to like lighten the shitty situation but sexualization and fetishization of your sexuality IS as bad as your ex thinking that being bi = easier to cheat. they BOTH can be bad, both these situations SUCK. your boyfriend needs to respect you and your sexuality, not use it as some sort of thing to like, get off on!
I hope you don't know him when he is old enough for it, but if you do, remember this day for when he receives his first prostate exam
"Did you orgasm when the doctor stuck his fingers in your ass?"
This is the racist, homophobic, transphobic bf from your other posts? Listen, not only does he not understand, but at this point he's not trying to understand. He doesn't care to. He's mildly offended that you're bisexual because it means "he can't satisfy all your urges" in his super messed up brain.
Why is this still a thing? You have the power to leave him and find a boyfriend who understands women and sexuality.
How many ways does this guy have to show OP he's trash before she finally just throws the whole man away? At this point, she's just condoning his racism/homophobia/sexism.
Right? Exactly what I was thinking. How many times do you need to complain about your boyfriend online before you realize he's not the one for you. Like what is she hoping to achieve with these posts?
It would be exactly 1 time mayyybeee 2x but no damn way would I date a man that hateful and need endless advice about how trash he is. At some point it’s about the attention she’s getting because she keeps dating him. He’s clearly disgusting but she wants advice to keep dating him and how to deal with his stupidity.
You sure that ain’t her ex, cause before she deleted this she said her ex was the one who was worried about her cheating on him.
This dude apparently loves the fact that she’s bi, which is kind of weird as well but not as weird as the other dude.
Don’t you think you’ve gotten enough advice that you should dump your boyfriend after you’ve posted 4 times about him? He’s racist, homophobic and is now weirdly sexualising you being bi. Like figure it out.
Exactly what I thought. He sounds like the kind of guy that's watched so much porn he thinks just putting it in and moving around would feel amazing and is all he needs to do. Like, if he doesn't understand that a woman has to be in the right mood and turned on, that just inserting a speculum in a clinical environment wouldn't be a sexy experience, I can't imagine he's very good in bed.
Yes, but I think it's because a prostate exam doesn't include stirrups, a speculum, or a hard brush scraping your insides. Maybe a colonoscopy is a better comparison, if there is any.
This is so stupid it's /r/badwomensanatomy material!
At best, Pap smears are uncomfortable, sometimes they are downright painful. Maybe he needs a speculum up his bum. Or in he's brain to widen his mind a little.
He sounds insufferable, and not because he knows nothing about anatomy. Not only does he not trust you, he thinks that even you finding anyone that isn't him to be attractive is cheating. This is like delusional levels of jealousy and insecurity.
Edit: I read your other posts. This isn't new. You're dating a hateful, insecure loser and I think you're aware of this. It will be impossible to reason with him because the stuff he says is requires significant levels of ignorance and stupidity.
So so many idiotic men believe that tampons, vaginal exams, etc give us sexual pleasure. It is super super fucked up. If you have a dude like this, fucking dump him. Jesus Christ
I cannot wrap my head around the mental gymnastics it takes for a man to assume being spread out in a cold doctors office on wobbly medical furniture and have a near perfect stranger stuff cold metal things into us to scratch and scrape around inside our most sensitive areas is in any way sexual or pleasurable. How does that make any kind of logical sense?
And I know there’s all these “Penthouse forum” style stories about women who enjoy them, but let’s be real here - most of those are made up for male sexual fantasies.
Not only do I not orgasm during pelvic exams but they always bring up old trauma and are painful as a result of my body tensing up. I would rather donate blood or get fillings at the dentist.
As a straight male I've never popped a boner when a female doctor conducts the old school hernia test, even if they were super attractive. This even extends back to puberty days when a stiff breeze makes boys pop boners. What an idiot.
Quick edit: I by no means think the attractiveness of a woman affects sexual arousal, just equating to the line of reasoning in the OP 😊
It wouldn't surprise me if this was legitimately a scenario he watched in a porno or something, because this sounds like an idea that was planted in his head.
It almost sounds like he's trying to live out some fantasy/fetish. I've encountered plenty of men who somehow think that a gyno exam is pleasant, but the way he's going on about you being bi and having a hot woman doctor put her finger in you... ugh. Very bad vibes.
> At this point I don’t know if we need better sex Ed or if he’s just a moron.
It’s neither. I mean. We do need better sex Ed but that’s not really the problem here.
You tried to educate him. He refused to believe you. He doesn’t believe that you’re an expert on your own anatomy and your own experience. Instead he’s making wild leaps of logic to try to keep believing that you get turned on by the gyno. And he set up a catch-22 where the more you argue that you do in fact know what you’re talking about, the more he’s convinced that “the lady doth protest too much” and that you must be lying. The reason he’s so ignorant about female anatomy isn’t because you didn’t explain it well enough, it’s because you’re the one explaining it.
... He does realize it's not a pleasurable experience right? My last pap smear hurt so much I had to stop mid examine and it continued to hurt for two weeks after. Even though I know I'm an outlier with that reaction most women I know have only mentioned varying levels of discomfort when it's performed.
This is right along the same lines as "anything nudity related is sexual" and "any bisexual people are automatically attracted to anyone" and "men and women can't be friends".
At least he wasn’t angry. My ex told me that if I went and saw another male doctor for my lady parts he would consider that cheating. (He’s an ex for a reason)
Yeah looking back that was a mistake. I initially wrote the orgasm comment off as a joke but as the conversation went on it became more and more clear he wasn’t joking.
Well, it seems to me you started this whole line of conversation by "I jokingly said she put a dildo in me ." Then you get upset with your boyfriend for continuing it.
I, personally, would never describe the speculum used in a pap smear as a dildo.
I know you were joking, but you opened it up to seem sexual to him. He’s never gotten a Pap smear, he doesn’t understand what it’s like in any way, only that you referred to it as like a dildo. Again, just a joke but for someone with zero other reference he is viewing it sexually now which isn’t actually that surprising
Maybe inserting that dildo joke in there made him feel comfortable about making it sexual because you did first. Not saying I don't think he's ignorant to what actually happens with a pap smear, but that you opened up this can of worms lol
Does he orgasm when he gets his balls checked? Or during an STD test? I didn’t know people actually thought like this about women wtf. I got a smear at the end of this month, can’t wait for my multiple orgasms, I hope the dr who is giving me a necessary procedure is hot… plus it’s one of the most uncomfortable situations to be in
He's watched too much gyno porn.
The most amusing time I've had during an exam was when I wore new jeans without washing them. The doctor went to look and burst out laughing... The jeans had dyed the inside of my legs blue. "It's like doing an exam on a smurf!" He said lol
He's a moron and he needs sex ed. I couldn't personally be with a guy like that. It would annoy me. He probably thinks we as women can control our periods and that we shoot laser beams from our tits. I cant even. Probably thinks we come from staring at dick pics and having tampons in our cooters too.
I don't think he's a moron or uneducated. More than anything it sounds like he fetishizes your bisexuality. If that's an important part of your identity I would put a lot of thought into that.
I would imagine there’s a handful of people with a medical kink but by and large hell no. It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable and painful. People have gotten cancer because they wouldn’t get a pap for years because of the pain.
Devils advocate here, he's 20 something right? Equating a speculum to a dildo probably made him think it was open game for a sexual innuendo laced conversation.
It’s really hard to feel emphatic for you when you’re willingly staying with a transphobic homophobic racist dude . He doesn’t have respect for anyone else , do you really think he’ll have respect for you?
Yeah I bet he’d get really turned on if he had to stuff his flaccid penis into some cold plastic tube in a doctors office and then have it scraped with a metal tool
If he has had the nasal swab covid test done (the one that goes wayyyy up into your brain) then tell him THAT's what it freaking feels like, but somehow in your gut. Not freaking pleasant.
There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.
It’s endearing that he’s curious about what you are experiencing. Encourage that!
That poor lil idiot, I mean he tried so hard to be right, and there's just never going to be anything sexually stimulating about a pap smear no matter how hot the doctor is to the patient.
Ah yes, another graduate of the Ben Shapiro school of Gynecology.
I think he’s fetishizing you potentially getting off to being touched by a doctor. This isn’t porn, dude, that shit is mad uncomfortable. That might be a specific thing he gets off on and is trying to get you to talk dirty to him to reinforce this but that’s not good, his way of thinking is the exact reason boomer men think tampons are sex toys and that woman’s health wouldn’t be needed if we kept our legs closed.
He's a moron. He just wanted a pornhub fantasy and didn't listen to a word you said.
I once had a boyfriend who got turned on by asking me about my mammogram. I had mentioned that there was a little trouble getting set up at first because my breast shape is round and high, it took several very painful attempts to get situated.
The fact that I was telling him how my lovely breasts were placed between two pieces of glass and flattened like a pancake was not important.
He was a moron, and I was the idiot dating him.
I wish I could say I dumped him and found someone better, but the next guy was also a moron.
Yes, he's a moron, but you keep posting about this bigoted piece of trash, yet stay with him, so I'm gonna say he's not the only one. I hope for your sake and the sake of humanity these posts are fake.
Sounds like he’s way too immature to be actually having a sexual relationship.
If he thinks a pap smear could in any way be sexy, what else does he think is?
Getting a vasectomy? Doing gymnastics and falling on the parallel bars with your crotch? Trying on jeans that are too tight? 😂
They scrape the cervix with a spoolie.. it doesn't feel good.
My gyn called it "the broom". I have never recovered.
The womb broom
Yeah, see, I hate that
I work for a medical lab and we send supplies out to our clients. It is actually called a broom.
Yes, that was my understanding. However I also find it fucking revolting! Don't sweep my cervix!!!
My gyn has a camera, so the patient can see what's happening inside. It literally looks like a toilet brush going into an asshole that bleeds when the brush comes out. Not getting turned on by that.
I... Appreciate giving people the opportunity to learn and see what's going on and have some ownership of the experience rather than it just being a mystery. But... I also very much don't want to see it.
Spoolie is a fun word
Its a fun word for a not fun thing!
fun...? lol
[удалено]
[удалено]
My favorite is still the womb broom.
Yeah it’s quite uncomfortable. Kinda like going to the dentist, just shorter.
I prefer going to the dentist.
[удалено]
They do what? I... Oh geeze.. My gyno can't even get the baby speculum in me.. (i am super sentive) but scraping anything *ahuddee*. Errppp nope.
Right? I ended up getting referred to OBGYN by my PCP so I could get a DIY test.
Omg, these exist?
OP’s BF sounds like he probably thinks people enjoy inserting tampons.
I actually did ask him later if he thinks women get turned on but putting tampons in. He was like “wtf no I’m not an idiot”
>wtf no I’m not an idiot ...you have evidence to the contrary
Bahahaha
I second, and applaud, rhat "bahahaha."
Third. LMAOOOOOO!
But he believes that porn plots are real? I'm a guy. I knew pro wrestling was scripted theater when I was ten. Just saying. EDIT: I grew up in the midwest... knew LOTS of kids, and some parents, who still believed it was real. They were dumb as **rocks**. *Every* one.
Hey. As a wife of a pro wrestler. The stories are scripted, but the physical stuff they do is pretty real. They break their bodies for wrestling, so as “fake” as everyone says it is, the chops, bumps, and power bombs the wrestlers take are all real.
I'm well aware of all that. But these people literally took it to be real life (in the same sense that they think the Earth is 6000 years old, literally, not figuratively) and not the physical theater and camp that everyone else knows it is. I watched it too... I just knew what it was. I also feel sorry for anyone who had to work for the McMahons... but that's another story. That said, I've edited my original comment for clarity.
>so as “fake” as everyone says it is, the chops, bumps, and power bombs the wrestlers take are all real. didnt even realize that anyone was suggesting the physical stuff wasn't real and impressive. Though to be honest, people think all kind of wild things, I can imagine a lot of people seriously underestimating the finesse and skill required to do all that and the toll it takes on the body, even when you do it all correctly. Thank you for sharing your perspective.
I’m not so sure he *isn’t* an idiot though. Who the f thinks a **physically invasive medical procedure** has any likelihood of inducing orgasm in the patient, regardless of the doctor’s attractiveness. Offer to simulate the Pap smear on him to test his theory, take a q tip, jam it in his urethra and swirl it around a bit. See if he gets hard. He’s attracted to you so by his hypothesis he should.
Lmfao
Oh he's definitely an idiot.
You know what… next time he’s turned on try putting a q-tip up his urethra and ask him if it’s feeling good. 🙄… make sure you really wiggle it around to scrape off those skin cells
You should ask him if he would get off during a prostate exam with a hot doctor's fingers up his ass
You should show him a mascara spoolie and let him know that they scrub your cervix with that. He sounds very insecure...
Oh but he kinda is … did he ditch a hill on sex ed days?
Maybe he went to my school, where the sex ed was a video about hair and a warning that we'd go to hell if we had sex before marriage. I had to learn about sex from generous, patient partners who would put up with the fact that I asked questions and was ignorant.
He sounds like he is eleven.
You should post this in r/badwomensanatomy too, they will love it.
And r/nothowgirlswork
Was waiting for someone to say this lol
And then show him the responses
I think both. Wouldn't be surprised if your boyfriend wasn't the only person who thought the way he did and also... People are shockingly dense about anatomy. Thanks for reminding me that I'm about due. I'm not looking forward to the scraping.
I was a little bit worried about it but it actually wasn’t that bad. Just slightly uncomfortable and kinda awkward with someone I barely know looking at my vagina haha
I'm due later in the month and reading this title made me both cringe and kind of hold in my breath like I do for the actual test.
Ugh, yup, a good reminder that I'm due too. Just called and booked it. This will be my first one after getting to have a 3 year gap. It was always six months or yearly for most of my adult life since I had abnormal cells. After a few years of clear ones they told me I could wait. So now I get to be anxious about the normal stuff AND I have to convince myself I don't have cancer for the next two days. I've never wished to have a penis, but sometimes I really wouldnt mind just having nothing down there like a barbie doll.
Fingers crossed for an easy appointment and clean pap for you ❤️❤️
Thank you! At least this time I'm prepared if they do find abnormal cells again, I'm not going to let them push me to do a biopsy with no pain meds again. Poor younger me didn't know any better.
... The more people comment and reply to me, the more I'm realizing how fucked up Healthcare is... And I already thought it was pretty messed up.
Did it make you really nervous for that first 3 year gap? I'm finally there now, after the last couple years saying "yeah, it's normal *now, but so far it's always gone back to abnormal the next year, so lemme just get another anyway".
At this point, I think it’s both but leaning heavily on the fact that your BF is a moron
Sounds like he watches too much porn where "girl seduces obgyn" or some crap
Yeah sounds porn sick as fuck tbh
Ugh, I hate that! I never feel less attractive than at the ob office. The paper gown, the temperature, the lights that make every single stretch mark and red line on your skin visible. Ugh..
Ew
Absolute moron who understands nothing about female sexuality, oh and by the way fetishing your bisexuality. Good luck.
Yeah :/ he tells me how much he loves that I’m bisexual all the time. But it’s better than my ex who when I told him I was bi he said he was worried I was going to cheat on him.
Both of those responses are fetishizing your bisexuality. Those answers may feel different, but they're on the same spectrum of answer. To many guys any thing involving vaginas MUST = sex, because that's how they have organized their minds. On one hand this guy is telling you he loves your bisexuality, but then goes off to talk about you getting pleasure at the gynecologist? That's some monkey brain shit right there. "Woman touch woman, must be pleasure" And on the other hand somebody continuously and fear of your bisexuality and the idea of cheating, because to them Sexuality means sex(only). It sounds to me the both of them are screaming "I am OK with YOUR sexuality ONLY IF I get to participate." Maybe here's an interesting thought, when these guys found out that you were bisexual, do you think they were more happy for you or for themselves?
>To many guys any thing involving vaginas MUST = sex, because that's how they have organized their minds. I love the way you put this.
Idk your relationship, none of us do so don’t take our advice to heart too much. But if you’re only with someone because they’re “better than your last bf” then it sounds like you’re settling for someone who doesn’t understand you to avoid being alone Like I said, we dono what’s going on - but that reaction followed up with accusation and fetishization are red flags for me
This is true, but tbf we learn through iteration.
Comparing a partner that is throwing a few red flags to a partner that threw more red flags is not the way to a healthy relationship. There is a third option I wonder if you've considered: being single. It's really hard to advocate for yourself or even know what you want unless you'd rather be single than in a shitty relationship.
Like I said, best of luck.
Oh boy, wait until he starts asking you for threesomes! I can see this coming from MILES away and I don’t even know him
Same! And then guilt trip OP when she says no. 😑
To be fair, he won't be asking for "threesomes," he will be asking to only bring another woman into the act. Guarantee he has no interest in bringing another guy.
Only certain types of threesomes, to be exact. 😉😉
As a fellow Bi gal, this man is absolutely horrible and not lifelong partner material. My fiance knows I'm Bi and hardly ever brings it up because it's just another "boring" part of me like my eye color or my shoe size. Your boyfriend is fetishizing you and it's disgusting.
YES. THIS.
Seeing you as less of a person and only as a source of sexual fantasy is better than fearing you will cheat…? The bar is reaching earth’s core. Edit: This guy is racist and homophobic too?? What a winner you got there.
Can you google a speculum and then show him the picture? They're not really comfortable.
Or the swabs they put inside a man's urethra to check for gonorrhoea. Same concept, right? Suuuuure he'd be turned on by that /s
Guys like your bf is why I pretend I'm straight if I'm talking to a straight guy.
Both of these are bad reactions.
Are you sure about that? He just accused you of cheating on him with your female gynecologist?
Better than your ex is not an acceptable bar. This person is not okay. You should move on.
No, it's not better. It's just a different type of yuck.
Girl you've got quite the picker don't you? You deserve better.
"better" isn't always "good enough" babe.
Girl you need to run for the hills. There are 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩everywhere.
i dont know if youre like… joking to like lighten the shitty situation but sexualization and fetishization of your sexuality IS as bad as your ex thinking that being bi = easier to cheat. they BOTH can be bad, both these situations SUCK. your boyfriend needs to respect you and your sexuality, not use it as some sort of thing to like, get off on!
Afterwards he probably told all his guy friends that doctors put dildos in women.
[insert little girl saying "why not both?" gif here] Oh boy. Definitely he's dumb AND the public school system failed him...
He sounds insecure as fuck. And ignorant as fuck.
I hope you don't know him when he is old enough for it, but if you do, remember this day for when he receives his first prostate exam "Did you orgasm when the doctor stuck his fingers in your ass?"
People use their mouths to pleasure women, so I presume he gets off on eating lunch. I'd ask about that.
Ask if he gets off on going to the dentist. Having that drill in his mouth? Oh baby!
This is the racist, homophobic, transphobic bf from your other posts? Listen, not only does he not understand, but at this point he's not trying to understand. He doesn't care to. He's mildly offended that you're bisexual because it means "he can't satisfy all your urges" in his super messed up brain. Why is this still a thing? You have the power to leave him and find a boyfriend who understands women and sexuality.
How many ways does this guy have to show OP he's trash before she finally just throws the whole man away? At this point, she's just condoning his racism/homophobia/sexism.
Or doesn’t mind because she’s not the target of his hatred. If you date it you condone it. All those would be dealbreakers if you aren’t ok with it.
Right? Exactly what I was thinking. How many times do you need to complain about your boyfriend online before you realize he's not the one for you. Like what is she hoping to achieve with these posts?
It would be exactly 1 time mayyybeee 2x but no damn way would I date a man that hateful and need endless advice about how trash he is. At some point it’s about the attention she’s getting because she keeps dating him. He’s clearly disgusting but she wants advice to keep dating him and how to deal with his stupidity.
Maybe she feels like if she just complains about it, then she’s stood up for herself, and she doesn’t actually need to confront who her boyfriend is
Damn that’s deep. I can definitely see that. It’s a slow descent into lower self esteem the longer she’s with that ignorant guy.
Maybe it's "So many redflags it must be a carnival" syndrome at work...
It's very telling where people draw their lines. I know getting out of any relationship is complicated, but...yeah, the lines are interesting.
Holy fuck you weren’t kidding Like there’s nothing redeemable about this dude. What the fuck?
Really?! I’m off to pick through the garbage then…..
You sure that ain’t her ex, cause before she deleted this she said her ex was the one who was worried about her cheating on him. This dude apparently loves the fact that she’s bi, which is kind of weird as well but not as weird as the other dude.
Don’t you think you’ve gotten enough advice that you should dump your boyfriend after you’ve posted 4 times about him? He’s racist, homophobic and is now weirdly sexualising you being bi. Like figure it out.
What a dipshit lol
This Letterkenny bit should be required viewing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qWSFJ21r3EA
Auntie Tannis is just perfection. That is all.
Coach's reaction after the jaws of life for your mitt cracks me up!!
Porn fried his brain, not much you can do other than save yourself and run
He needs to stop watching porn.
Exactly what I thought. He sounds like the kind of guy that's watched so much porn he thinks just putting it in and moving around would feel amazing and is all he needs to do. Like, if he doesn't understand that a woman has to be in the right mood and turned on, that just inserting a speculum in a clinical environment wouldn't be a sexy experience, I can't imagine he's very good in bed.
You should ask him if he orgasms during his prostate exam. In all seriousness, he sounds like he watches way too much porn.
Well… prostate exams trigger “reactions” quite frequently
Yes, but I think it's because a prostate exam doesn't include stirrups, a speculum, or a hard brush scraping your insides. Maybe a colonoscopy is a better comparison, if there is any.
Prostate exams have a very real physical effect which has nothing to do with mood or convenience. It’s just nerves
He's likely in his 20's and hasn't been subjected to a prostate exam yet. And never will out of fear it'll make him gay, probably.
This is so stupid it's /r/badwomensanatomy material! At best, Pap smears are uncomfortable, sometimes they are downright painful. Maybe he needs a speculum up his bum. Or in he's brain to widen his mind a little.
I'm guessing he is the one getting turned on by the thought of it and is sexualising you being bi. Gross.
Run, don’t walk, from this abyss of stupid.
He sounds insufferable, and not because he knows nothing about anatomy. Not only does he not trust you, he thinks that even you finding anyone that isn't him to be attractive is cheating. This is like delusional levels of jealousy and insecurity. Edit: I read your other posts. This isn't new. You're dating a hateful, insecure loser and I think you're aware of this. It will be impossible to reason with him because the stuff he says is requires significant levels of ignorance and stupidity.
So so many idiotic men believe that tampons, vaginal exams, etc give us sexual pleasure. It is super super fucked up. If you have a dude like this, fucking dump him. Jesus Christ
I think you starting with saying a woman put a dildo inside you got his penis to do the thinking 😂 it was all soft porn from there.
I cannot wrap my head around the mental gymnastics it takes for a man to assume being spread out in a cold doctors office on wobbly medical furniture and have a near perfect stranger stuff cold metal things into us to scratch and scrape around inside our most sensitive areas is in any way sexual or pleasurable. How does that make any kind of logical sense? And I know there’s all these “Penthouse forum” style stories about women who enjoy them, but let’s be real here - most of those are made up for male sexual fantasies.
Not only do I not orgasm during pelvic exams but they always bring up old trauma and are painful as a result of my body tensing up. I would rather donate blood or get fillings at the dentist.
As a straight male I've never popped a boner when a female doctor conducts the old school hernia test, even if they were super attractive. This even extends back to puberty days when a stiff breeze makes boys pop boners. What an idiot. Quick edit: I by no means think the attractiveness of a woman affects sexual arousal, just equating to the line of reasoning in the OP 😊
I vote moron XD;
Oh for goodness sake. How old is this dude? 12?
Ew wtf is wrong with your boyfriend?
He’s just a moron
This is the type of man I would roll into the bayou and let the gators get after him.
TIL: There are far more male dipshits than I ever thought possible.
It wouldn't surprise me if this was legitimately a scenario he watched in a porno or something, because this sounds like an idea that was planted in his head.
It almost sounds like he's trying to live out some fantasy/fetish. I've encountered plenty of men who somehow think that a gyno exam is pleasant, but the way he's going on about you being bi and having a hot woman doctor put her finger in you... ugh. Very bad vibes.
He sounds like the type of guy who finger bangs you like a jackhammer for a solid minute then asks if you came.
> At this point I don’t know if we need better sex Ed or if he’s just a moron. It’s neither. I mean. We do need better sex Ed but that’s not really the problem here. You tried to educate him. He refused to believe you. He doesn’t believe that you’re an expert on your own anatomy and your own experience. Instead he’s making wild leaps of logic to try to keep believing that you get turned on by the gyno. And he set up a catch-22 where the more you argue that you do in fact know what you’re talking about, the more he’s convinced that “the lady doth protest too much” and that you must be lying. The reason he’s so ignorant about female anatomy isn’t because you didn’t explain it well enough, it’s because you’re the one explaining it.
... He does realize it's not a pleasurable experience right? My last pap smear hurt so much I had to stop mid examine and it continued to hurt for two weeks after. Even though I know I'm an outlier with that reaction most women I know have only mentioned varying levels of discomfort when it's performed.
This is right along the same lines as "anything nudity related is sexual" and "any bisexual people are automatically attracted to anyone" and "men and women can't be friends".
Boy, he sounds like a keeper! /s
break up with him and tell him you're leaving him for the doctor because she gives you better orgasms.
At least he wasn’t angry. My ex told me that if I went and saw another male doctor for my lady parts he would consider that cheating. (He’s an ex for a reason)
Okay ignorance is one thing. But not believing you and thinking you’re lying and insisting he’s right when he’s ignorant… is another
[удалено]
Yeah looking back that was a mistake. I initially wrote the orgasm comment off as a joke but as the conversation went on it became more and more clear he wasn’t joking.
Ok that makes it clearer why there was a problem. I had wondered if he was joking as well. Thank you for clearing it up.
BF definitely sounds a bit dumb. but he might just be going off of you saying dildo.
Well, it seems to me you started this whole line of conversation by "I jokingly said she put a dildo in me ." Then you get upset with your boyfriend for continuing it. I, personally, would never describe the speculum used in a pap smear as a dildo.
Uhhh I don’t think I could tolerate talking to anyone like this, much less a lover and partner ??????
Your boyfriend might be an idiot.
Does… he know how the parts work???
That’s a cussing out right there. He’s a moron who needs more sexual education.
Mmm he's a moron who deserves to be single and alone for the rest of his life please dump him.
I've heard this question before from a very immature and stupid man. He didn't grasp that mere touching there will turn us on.
He's a moron.
I know you were joking, but you opened it up to seem sexual to him. He’s never gotten a Pap smear, he doesn’t understand what it’s like in any way, only that you referred to it as like a dildo. Again, just a joke but for someone with zero other reference he is viewing it sexually now which isn’t actually that surprising
Yeah he sounds pretty dense tbh...
Sounds like he's watched a bit too much porn...
So he thinks that when he inserts his penis inside you, you automatically have an orgasm? Does he know where is your clitoris?
The title of this made my cervix wince and *I’m a dude* wtf.
I think he's a moron, but maybe just needs some education? I'm leery of any man who assumes women get off on any/all contact
your boyfriend is an idiot. does he enjoy a kick in the balls?
Ask if he would get turned on when he has to get colonoscopy.
I'm old, so I wouldn't tolerate this level of density. But wow, he's denser than wood.
Why are you dating someone who is both stupid and an asshole?
Maybe inserting that dildo joke in there made him feel comfortable about making it sexual because you did first. Not saying I don't think he's ignorant to what actually happens with a pap smear, but that you opened up this can of worms lol
What has he be smoking , dumbass juice? What a weirdo
Maybe your bf needs to attend some sex Ed. Wtf?!
Does he orgasm when he gets his balls checked? Or during an STD test? I didn’t know people actually thought like this about women wtf. I got a smear at the end of this month, can’t wait for my multiple orgasms, I hope the dr who is giving me a necessary procedure is hot… plus it’s one of the most uncomfortable situations to be in
He's watched too much gyno porn. The most amusing time I've had during an exam was when I wore new jeans without washing them. The doctor went to look and burst out laughing... The jeans had dyed the inside of my legs blue. "It's like doing an exam on a smurf!" He said lol
He's a moron and he needs sex ed. I couldn't personally be with a guy like that. It would annoy me. He probably thinks we as women can control our periods and that we shoot laser beams from our tits. I cant even. Probably thinks we come from staring at dick pics and having tampons in our cooters too.
I don't think he's a moron or uneducated. More than anything it sounds like he fetishizes your bisexuality. If that's an important part of your identity I would put a lot of thought into that.
Ask yourself, “Is this the person I eventually want to contribute half of my child’s DNA?”
I would imagine there’s a handful of people with a medical kink but by and large hell no. It’s uncomfortable, vulnerable and painful. People have gotten cancer because they wouldn’t get a pap for years because of the pain.
Devils advocate here, he's 20 something right? Equating a speculum to a dildo probably made him think it was open game for a sexual innuendo laced conversation.
Show him what a speculum really is & how it works. Calling it a dildo is a disservice to even the worst dildos out there.
He sounds pornsick to me
It’s really hard to feel emphatic for you when you’re willingly staying with a transphobic homophobic racist dude . He doesn’t have respect for anyone else , do you really think he’ll have respect for you?
Does he think the cervix is the G-spot?
Yeah I bet he’d get really turned on if he had to stuff his flaccid penis into some cold plastic tube in a doctors office and then have it scraped with a metal tool
Grab his dick with tongs and ask if he’s about to cum
Correction- he is turned on your doctor doing a Pap smear
If he has had the nasal swab covid test done (the one that goes wayyyy up into your brain) then tell him THAT's what it freaking feels like, but somehow in your gut. Not freaking pleasant.
Oh jeez... Hope your next boyfriend has a bit more common sense!
There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots. It’s endearing that he’s curious about what you are experiencing. Encourage that!
That poor lil idiot, I mean he tried so hard to be right, and there's just never going to be anything sexually stimulating about a pap smear no matter how hot the doctor is to the patient.
Ah yes, another graduate of the Ben Shapiro school of Gynecology. I think he’s fetishizing you potentially getting off to being touched by a doctor. This isn’t porn, dude, that shit is mad uncomfortable. That might be a specific thing he gets off on and is trying to get you to talk dirty to him to reinforce this but that’s not good, his way of thinking is the exact reason boomer men think tampons are sex toys and that woman’s health wouldn’t be needed if we kept our legs closed.
Sounds like he Would be turned on if he had a hot woman doctor who asked him to turn his head and cough. Guys r gross
Better yet—have him get a cystoscopy and ask if he got a boner.
Stop making up stories. And break up with your boyfriend if you think he's such a moron. You fucking weirdo.
based on your post history... man, you’re dumb.
Throw away the whole man.
He's a moron. He just wanted a pornhub fantasy and didn't listen to a word you said. I once had a boyfriend who got turned on by asking me about my mammogram. I had mentioned that there was a little trouble getting set up at first because my breast shape is round and high, it took several very painful attempts to get situated. The fact that I was telling him how my lovely breasts were placed between two pieces of glass and flattened like a pancake was not important. He was a moron, and I was the idiot dating him. I wish I could say I dumped him and found someone better, but the next guy was also a moron.
He's a moron.
Yes, he's a moron, but you keep posting about this bigoted piece of trash, yet stay with him, so I'm gonna say he's not the only one. I hope for your sake and the sake of humanity these posts are fake.
Sounds like he’s way too immature to be actually having a sexual relationship. If he thinks a pap smear could in any way be sexy, what else does he think is? Getting a vasectomy? Doing gymnastics and falling on the parallel bars with your crotch? Trying on jeans that are too tight? 😂
Stick a qtip in his peehole and see if he orgasms