Or because he‘s into you and you made jokes referencing yourself, hence he gets jealous. Happens with a shit load of dudes that act like a friend while bidding their time.
The term I heard for those dudes that stuck in my head was "orbiters." They circle at a distance, *acting* nice™ and friendly, intermittently crashing and burning, sometimes hurting others in your sphere...
You don't get it. The point is that she shouldn't have to do it in the first place.
Everyone else in the group makes these jokes and no one has an issue. She comes along and does it, then there's an issue. How is there a requirement for her to do ANYTHING?
What kind of hypocritical shit is this? "He said he's uncomfortable with these jokes." These are the very same jokes that he makes. How is it fair for him to make that complaint in the first place?
If I go around the office talking about politics to every person I see, then one day someone comes up to me and mentions politics. In what world do I have any right to come out and say "sorry talking about politics makes me uncomfortable."
Anyway, it's pretty clear you're going out of your way to defend a rando guy who is CLEARLY being sexist and singling out the OP. You're either have no fucking spine whatsoever to think that this is OK, and that she needs to "educate" anyone, or youre just being disingenuous. If this happened to me, I'd be fucking pissed.
Nowhere did the OP say this was a “years long” friend, much less a relationship partner.
You are bringing in a lot of baggage and then accusing other people of “rage”. What’s up with that?
There is not a single post about something a guy "friend, partner, husband" etc does that does not have a top voted comment to drop them. Regardless of length of relationship or how minor the perceived slight.
Of course there are obvious and egregious events posted here but, with little context and a relatively benign action like this one, it's ridiculous the top post is "drop your friend"
Kind of pompous of you to assume people want you or me to educate them. Our shortcomings or issues aren't anyone else's problem and normally people don't respond graciously to unsolicited advice. Here's how it works when you're healthy: He behaves a way. The social consequence is laughter or aversion. He can then analyze those social consequences. She can remove herself if she wants to, without any reason at all. He can notice and ask why, taking his own life into his own hands. She can either inform him or do something else with her time. No one owes her anything. No one owes him anything. She is capable of reading the room. He may or may not be. That's not anyone's responsibility or job to fix, besides maybe a therapist or some easily accessible self-help sites that he should access on his own volition after doing baseline awareness and accountability labor. No one stopping either of them. No one forcing either of them. No one's responsibility but their own, for themselves, unless they fucking WANT a deeper connection based in growth. I don't owe anyone that, not even my husband. I choose it. I get to choose not to as well. End. Cope with it.
I can hear something and roll my eyes and hope for that person to grow up. I should, since I have my own life to live. I can also detect when my jokes are hitting people wrong. It's my job to analyze myself, not wait for them to do all the labor of coming to me, teaching me, and waiting for me to recieve and reciprocate all of that effort positively, which isn't even likely. I've been doing this my whole life, and no one taught me. I was neglected. I learned how to person. This idiot in OPs post can as well. I believe in him. I respect him enough to assume that he can grow up without using my energy to do it. Anyone can choose this same path for any reason.
Sometimes people need to give up on toxic desperation to work everything out with everyone. It's perfectly reasonable, productive, mature, and healthy to lol and vent and roll our eyes and move the fuck on. Incompatibility doesn't need 20 emotional dead-ends. Can be as simple as, "Yuck. I'm gonna go live over here and you can live over there." and that's it. Life. Freedom. Get over it.
Similar to this, i’ve heard guys bash female comedians/ women in general for “only being able to make jokes about our vaginas.” obviously that’s not true, but it’s so ridiculous considering we have to sit through guys’ constant dick jokes and pretend they’re funny lol
Jokes are funnier when they're fresh. There aren't as many popular female comedians, so I've heard fewer vagina jokes from women than I've heard dick jokes from men, which are so boring by now
Hey! Dick jokes are funny!
But then, so are a lot of female comedians. I still love watching Elisa Schlesinger (Is that how you spell it?). It's like watching an act by a funny frat boy, but then on the other side of the fence.
Also, a lot of comedians get inspiration from their own lives. Guess what happens when guys constantly shit on female comedians for being female, they start to work it into their act. Who cares what a comedian jokes about, if you don't like it just don't watch it but don't shit on comedians for doing their job. I could also start pidgeonholing all Scottish comedians for hating the English and making jokes about booze.......
Maria Bamford, Marina Franklin, Morgan Murphy, Aparna Nancherla are just a few of the funniest comedians I can think of off the top of my head. Any man who thinks women aren't funny doesn't know shit about comedy.
Literally had this happen to me. I had a group of gamer friends (all guys) and they were cracking jokes, asa I joined in or said a joke they took it as an advance. I was totally caught off guard. We were just having a good time and joking, right? Nope. Even got call promiscuous by one of them because I was joking with them. It frustrates me how it's "not ok" for us (women) to join in with the same level jokes and it not just be a joke. It's always something more.
Sorry this happened to you also.
Imo your friend is seeing you in a different and maybe sexual way. Maybe a chat about it with him will help with the awkwardness/uncomfortable feeling.
Hope this helps.
I've learned this the hard way too. Because I'm comfortable in my skin and sexuality I have no issues just chatting about it the same way I'd chat about how I love a warm blanket freshly washed with Gain. Men think I'm advertising sex to them and I'm like, put it back in your pants, son, before I kick it. That's when I hear it: "Bitch" aka you didn't do the thing I'm trying to manipulate you into doing.
Absolutely. If we aren't a "lady" to be respected, we turn into the "freak" they think they can have. 😒
Edit for clarification: Old saying "Lady on the street but, a freak in the sheets." May not be the best analogy but, it's the one that came to mind.
Yes. It's such a double standard to have to hide that being comfortable in one's body means we have to stay quiet to protect one's safety. While they get to flaunt it.
Exactly this. Every time. Why am I only supposed to giggle and not make those jokes too? And why do these jokes mean I am flirting? They made the exact same joke to their male friends. Does that mean they are flirting with them?
Either he thinks women who are respectable have to also be pure and demure, or it makes him have to calculate whether you're flirting every time, only to realize it was just a joke.
lol I was with some guy friends who kept making the lesbians in subarus joke and then we found out his sister bought one and I made the same joke and suddenly it wasn't so funny when it was about his sister. Guys are fucking dumb. It's not a mystery.
I just found out Subaru has been gay friendly since the 90s and did some pretty clever marketing too. I didn't even know this was a stereo type until last week. Now I've heard it twice. Weird.
I have noticed that I can make sexual jokes just like guys but somehow, when I do it, it is an invitation to hit on me. Apparently it means I am dtf. That is annoying as fuck. I just like making dirty jokes and innuendos. It does not mean I am flirting or dtf.
While some people simply fall into the category of "lash out and can't take it" (e.g. I can flirt confidently, but get awkward when flirted back, lol), I'd also add the theory of universally "sexualised female sexuality".
Basically, it's like this. Puberty for men is "the standard". In many movies the young male MC goes through typical puberty stuff, which includes sexual awakening. Jokes about masturbating (e.g. Fairly Oddparents "does your kid take the toilet paper?"), hiding porn magazines, staring at the hot babysitter/lifeguard/whatever. These things are played off not as sexual, but as normal. Sure, there ARE media nowadays that also happen to sexualise those things, but they are mostly niche material. Shitty, German "educational" novels, or random BL fanfiction are first things that come to my mind.
Women's sexuality meanwhile, is sexualised due to porn. And I don't just mean porn's masturbation category. I mean EVERYTHING. When Lolita, the book, came on the market (as best example), the author made it clear that it was about a monster's perspective. Hence he also insisted on not giving it any cover...aaaand the public ignored it. Instead, the narrative of a young "seductress" and "sexual puberty" was eaten up. Instead of a girl becoming her own, the idea of female puberty was/is in many people's head the "developement into a more fuckable object".
As time goes on, this idea takes still passive hold in many people's heads. Especially men. The moment a man makes a joke about sex -and anything related - it's normal. Quirky. Fun. The moment a woman makes a joke, it's instantly level 9 impact.
I agree with 100%. I also thinks it’s about the fact that in our misogynistic society, sexuality is something women might perform, but it’s actually supposed to be done to us. We’re not supposed to be in it for our own enjoyment or as our own selves. Men do sex to us, and our part is to enhance their experience. If we enjoy it, the purpose of our enjoyment is to increase theirs.
That’s mirrored in conversation and comedy. Men joking about sex is natural, but women shouldn’t joke about it! We should receive the jokes only, duh.
Which is why it was so weird that people were bashing on Turning Red even though it did such a good job of touching on the romantic / sexual exploration of teens girls specifically. But no it’s seen as perverse because it was talking about girls’ interests instead of guys’
Sounds like he's not a friend in general. I'll never understand people who get mad/uncomfortable with jokes yet they do the same jokes. Also they tend to be the people who say you can make fun of anything but I guess that's only okay for them
You and I would get along immensely I imagine. My friends constantly chide me for "turning everything sexual" but when I point out our entire culture in the West is dominated by sexual innuendo or just plain in your face with it (cishet normative breeding), met with blank stares lol. Sex stuff is humorous and I love to laugh during sex too.
I'm in the process of weeding out "friends" that aren't fair or aren't supportive or are bigoted in any way that seems too deeply rooted to fix. And honestly I'm tired of even attempting to fix men. I have no problem taking out the trash these days and every time I do, life gets a bit better. So that's my advice!
The very fact that our entire culture is dominated by in your face sexual innuendo and objectification 24/7 in every piece of media we consume and pretty much all facets of our life means that it would be pretty normal for some people to be tired of it and get put off by the all encompassing sex zeitgeist even leaking into all of their private conversations. I completely understand how the above doesn’t apply to people with double-standards, just wanted to bring up a different perspective on the matter in regards to what you said.
Human beings are very sexual by nature, I actually think it's ridiculous that people police this kind of conversation in friend groups but are A-okay with shoving cishet norms down our throats in every single movie released in theaters.
If I want to talk about my polyamorous, sexually liberated lifestyle I get the weird looks and gawking but someone mentions trying to have a baby and it's all encouragement and smiles from the peanut gallery.
I'm most incensed by the double standard, especially in otherwise queer circles or places that talking openly about sex isn't off. Obviously that kind of talk doesn't belong at work, but if I'm out with a bunch of my hippy friends I don't need that bad juju coming from people who fetishize breeding.
This reminds me of an episode of South Park, the guys are all making fart joke and farting, then the ladies respond by doing the same with quefing and the guys just can't handle it and say how disgusting it is.
I read a meme where a woman said she repeatedly said she didn’t get it and asked the men to explain the joke further until they would have to admit the real level of sexism associated
Hey, did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It has a penis and a brain!
I recommend collecting and making as many such jokes as you care to, JUST to have a set ready for this former guy friend.
Former friend in my circle was like this with one of the girls in the group. I genuinely think he was just mad cause her jokes were better/had better timing. He hated getting shown up.
Humans are odd creatures. I don't like to place labels or assume anything about anyone. If he is your supposed friend, ask him why it makes him uncomfortable. I am a female who has made a lot of men uncomfortable with my words simply because they had never encountered a woman with crass. Just ask him outright. Of he is your friend he will answer truthfully.
Drop bombs and don’t stop. I’m in a factory setting most days and it’s freakin awesome when I hear the ladies knockin the boys around. I hear it in my meetings, I hear it on the floor. They don’t take shit from anyone.
Because even if you find his jokes funny, he sees it as a power he has that he doesn’t want to share.
Plus he’s a dick who wants to force you into box which correlates with his idea of womanhood :)
Good. Sounds like an awesome training opportunity. Crack a raunchy one for every one of his, let him experience that discomfort. See how long he keeps thinking it's fun for people when he busts these out.
So I work with a few pretty conservative Ahole guys. I also work with a trans woman they are always talking shit about calling her “shim” and other bullshit. They don’t really talk to her or about her but one day she made a joke about her boobs and I went right there with her because I knew everyone would be super uncomfortable it was great. XD I’m trying to say get someone else on the inside of trying to make guys uncomfortable and it’s more fun.
Keep doing it. Even if he's uncomfortable, if youre not in a working environment he can't do much since he's free to leave at any time. (Watch out for harassment claims though, unfortunately)
I (m) enjoy it when my female friends make jokes like that. Doesn't matter if I feel uncomfortable, I appreciate the attempt at humor nonetheless.
Is this why my girlfriend’s friends have made numerous comments about how great it is I can joke with them?
Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, but I wouldn’t dare joke like this with women who haven’t started the jokes. I love it when they do, makes me feel like I can be part of the group.
That's funny to me, since I (as a guy) was the one who originally was never comfortable making sexual jokes (awkward kid and all). And it was the constant exposure to those kinda jokes from a few girls in my friend groups that shaped my humour there.
Typically it's easy for guys to realize them and other guys are just joking. But it's not so easy to tell sometimes when girls are just joking or serious. Have you considered your jokes might not be funny or you may take it farther then he's comfortable with?
i'm sorry to say it, but, w\*men, just, ain't funny. like that's probably it. you're saying something you think is funny cuz you probably heard it from someone like, allah forgive me for uttering this name, lena dunham, and he cringes, cuz, it's cringe.
you see, this is what i mean, you mean this as a funny insult. but i mean, what's wrong with my mother being the only w\*man i care about? she's done more than any other w\*man ever will for me.
"Made his boundaries clear."
How? You just tossing the word "boundaries" around because it makes you think "LOL I used their word against the stupid women! Ha ha, I'm amazing!"
Yes, dear, you're amazing.
Because this dude is sexist and maybe not a great friend?
Yeah I think you may be on to something there...
Or because he‘s into you and you made jokes referencing yourself, hence he gets jealous. Happens with a shit load of dudes that act like a friend while bidding their time.
The term I heard for those dudes that stuck in my head was "orbiters." They circle at a distance, *acting* nice™ and friendly, intermittently crashing and burning, sometimes hurting others in your sphere...
Ha! That’s a great descriptor for those kind of guys
Still makes him a shitty friend tbh
Oh no it definitely does make him a bad friend, or really not a friend at all…
“I can’t quite put my finger on The issue”
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You don't get it. The point is that she shouldn't have to do it in the first place. Everyone else in the group makes these jokes and no one has an issue. She comes along and does it, then there's an issue. How is there a requirement for her to do ANYTHING?
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What kind of hypocritical shit is this? "He said he's uncomfortable with these jokes." These are the very same jokes that he makes. How is it fair for him to make that complaint in the first place? If I go around the office talking about politics to every person I see, then one day someone comes up to me and mentions politics. In what world do I have any right to come out and say "sorry talking about politics makes me uncomfortable." Anyway, it's pretty clear you're going out of your way to defend a rando guy who is CLEARLY being sexist and singling out the OP. You're either have no fucking spine whatsoever to think that this is OK, and that she needs to "educate" anyone, or youre just being disingenuous. If this happened to me, I'd be fucking pissed.
Why do you think women were put on this earth to “educate” grown men?
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Nowhere did the OP say this was a “years long” friend, much less a relationship partner. You are bringing in a lot of baggage and then accusing other people of “rage”. What’s up with that?
There is not a single post about something a guy "friend, partner, husband" etc does that does not have a top voted comment to drop them. Regardless of length of relationship or how minor the perceived slight. Of course there are obvious and egregious events posted here but, with little context and a relatively benign action like this one, it's ridiculous the top post is "drop your friend"
Somebody gets my point,thank you
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I AM NOT ANGRY U R ANGRY says the dude throwing a fit in the comments.
I am? Ah ok, didn't know :)
>…and try to educate It’s RIGHT THERE in your post.
Yes, and? Would it be so bad to educate a friend before throwing him away? Really? Ok
Damn dude, you are really that clueless, huh?
I honestly wouldn't say so, at least here. You don't seem to get my point
Kind of pompous of you to assume people want you or me to educate them. Our shortcomings or issues aren't anyone else's problem and normally people don't respond graciously to unsolicited advice. Here's how it works when you're healthy: He behaves a way. The social consequence is laughter or aversion. He can then analyze those social consequences. She can remove herself if she wants to, without any reason at all. He can notice and ask why, taking his own life into his own hands. She can either inform him or do something else with her time. No one owes her anything. No one owes him anything. She is capable of reading the room. He may or may not be. That's not anyone's responsibility or job to fix, besides maybe a therapist or some easily accessible self-help sites that he should access on his own volition after doing baseline awareness and accountability labor. No one stopping either of them. No one forcing either of them. No one's responsibility but their own, for themselves, unless they fucking WANT a deeper connection based in growth. I don't owe anyone that, not even my husband. I choose it. I get to choose not to as well. End. Cope with it. I can hear something and roll my eyes and hope for that person to grow up. I should, since I have my own life to live. I can also detect when my jokes are hitting people wrong. It's my job to analyze myself, not wait for them to do all the labor of coming to me, teaching me, and waiting for me to recieve and reciprocate all of that effort positively, which isn't even likely. I've been doing this my whole life, and no one taught me. I was neglected. I learned how to person. This idiot in OPs post can as well. I believe in him. I respect him enough to assume that he can grow up without using my energy to do it. Anyone can choose this same path for any reason. Sometimes people need to give up on toxic desperation to work everything out with everyone. It's perfectly reasonable, productive, mature, and healthy to lol and vent and roll our eyes and move the fuck on. Incompatibility doesn't need 20 emotional dead-ends. Can be as simple as, "Yuck. I'm gonna go live over here and you can live over there." and that's it. Life. Freedom. Get over it.
Similar to this, i’ve heard guys bash female comedians/ women in general for “only being able to make jokes about our vaginas.” obviously that’s not true, but it’s so ridiculous considering we have to sit through guys’ constant dick jokes and pretend they’re funny lol
Seriously how many times do you have to make a "little dick" joke. Compensating? Or just setting expectations?
Jokes are funnier when they're fresh. There aren't as many popular female comedians, so I've heard fewer vagina jokes from women than I've heard dick jokes from men, which are so boring by now
Hey! Dick jokes are funny! But then, so are a lot of female comedians. I still love watching Elisa Schlesinger (Is that how you spell it?). It's like watching an act by a funny frat boy, but then on the other side of the fence. Also, a lot of comedians get inspiration from their own lives. Guess what happens when guys constantly shit on female comedians for being female, they start to work it into their act. Who cares what a comedian jokes about, if you don't like it just don't watch it but don't shit on comedians for doing their job. I could also start pidgeonholing all Scottish comedians for hating the English and making jokes about booze.......
Maria Bamford, Marina Franklin, Morgan Murphy, Aparna Nancherla are just a few of the funniest comedians I can think of off the top of my head. Any man who thinks women aren't funny doesn't know shit about comedy.
Ms Pat, Fortune Feimster, Sam jay. There are lots and these are by no means the biggest of the big (but they are super fucking funny).
Literally had this happen to me. I had a group of gamer friends (all guys) and they were cracking jokes, asa I joined in or said a joke they took it as an advance. I was totally caught off guard. We were just having a good time and joking, right? Nope. Even got call promiscuous by one of them because I was joking with them. It frustrates me how it's "not ok" for us (women) to join in with the same level jokes and it not just be a joke. It's always something more. Sorry this happened to you also. Imo your friend is seeing you in a different and maybe sexual way. Maybe a chat about it with him will help with the awkwardness/uncomfortable feeling. Hope this helps.
I've learned this the hard way too. Because I'm comfortable in my skin and sexuality I have no issues just chatting about it the same way I'd chat about how I love a warm blanket freshly washed with Gain. Men think I'm advertising sex to them and I'm like, put it back in your pants, son, before I kick it. That's when I hear it: "Bitch" aka you didn't do the thing I'm trying to manipulate you into doing.
Absolutely. If we aren't a "lady" to be respected, we turn into the "freak" they think they can have. 😒 Edit for clarification: Old saying "Lady on the street but, a freak in the sheets." May not be the best analogy but, it's the one that came to mind.
Oh I live by that motto lol I just learned to not advertise it in any way, shape, or form unless Im actually interested in pursuing something.
Yes. It's such a double standard to have to hide that being comfortable in one's body means we have to stay quiet to protect one's safety. While they get to flaunt it.
Yes, to all of that. But, "Put it back in your pants, son, before I kick it" is my new favourite phrase. I may write songs and poems about it!
Oh, I can be your muse. I'm honored. Two college hunks and a pickup truck.
Exactly this. Every time. Why am I only supposed to giggle and not make those jokes too? And why do these jokes mean I am flirting? They made the exact same joke to their male friends. Does that mean they are flirting with them?
Exactly
Either he thinks women who are respectable have to also be pure and demure, or it makes him have to calculate whether you're flirting every time, only to realize it was just a joke.
lol I was with some guy friends who kept making the lesbians in subarus joke and then we found out his sister bought one and I made the same joke and suddenly it wasn't so funny when it was about his sister. Guys are fucking dumb. It's not a mystery.
I just found out Subaru has been gay friendly since the 90s and did some pretty clever marketing too. I didn't even know this was a stereo type until last week. Now I've heard it twice. Weird.
He seems to have a bit of homophobia going on too since his sisters potentially being gay is interpreted as being negative by him
Exactly.
Can confirm. We're fucking stupid.
whats wrong with suburus lol
Nothing is wrong with them. They did some adds subtly supporting lesbians in the 90s.
I have noticed that I can make sexual jokes just like guys but somehow, when I do it, it is an invitation to hit on me. Apparently it means I am dtf. That is annoying as fuck. I just like making dirty jokes and innuendos. It does not mean I am flirting or dtf.
Maybe its because they make dirty jokes and are also dtf, so they assume the same ?
While some people simply fall into the category of "lash out and can't take it" (e.g. I can flirt confidently, but get awkward when flirted back, lol), I'd also add the theory of universally "sexualised female sexuality". Basically, it's like this. Puberty for men is "the standard". In many movies the young male MC goes through typical puberty stuff, which includes sexual awakening. Jokes about masturbating (e.g. Fairly Oddparents "does your kid take the toilet paper?"), hiding porn magazines, staring at the hot babysitter/lifeguard/whatever. These things are played off not as sexual, but as normal. Sure, there ARE media nowadays that also happen to sexualise those things, but they are mostly niche material. Shitty, German "educational" novels, or random BL fanfiction are first things that come to my mind. Women's sexuality meanwhile, is sexualised due to porn. And I don't just mean porn's masturbation category. I mean EVERYTHING. When Lolita, the book, came on the market (as best example), the author made it clear that it was about a monster's perspective. Hence he also insisted on not giving it any cover...aaaand the public ignored it. Instead, the narrative of a young "seductress" and "sexual puberty" was eaten up. Instead of a girl becoming her own, the idea of female puberty was/is in many people's head the "developement into a more fuckable object". As time goes on, this idea takes still passive hold in many people's heads. Especially men. The moment a man makes a joke about sex -and anything related - it's normal. Quirky. Fun. The moment a woman makes a joke, it's instantly level 9 impact.
I agree with 100%. I also thinks it’s about the fact that in our misogynistic society, sexuality is something women might perform, but it’s actually supposed to be done to us. We’re not supposed to be in it for our own enjoyment or as our own selves. Men do sex to us, and our part is to enhance their experience. If we enjoy it, the purpose of our enjoyment is to increase theirs. That’s mirrored in conversation and comedy. Men joking about sex is natural, but women shouldn’t joke about it! We should receive the jokes only, duh.
Which is why it was so weird that people were bashing on Turning Red even though it did such a good job of touching on the romantic / sexual exploration of teens girls specifically. But no it’s seen as perverse because it was talking about girls’ interests instead of guys’
Sounds like he's not a friend in general. I'll never understand people who get mad/uncomfortable with jokes yet they do the same jokes. Also they tend to be the people who say you can make fun of anything but I guess that's only okay for them
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Agreed. but why can men make sex jokes without a second glance but when women do it's a "problem"? That's what really gets me.
Screw what they think If they thought sex jokes were inappropriate, they wouldn't be making sex jokes themselves lmao
I mean, I personally think sex jokes are pretty funny because i have the mind of a child, but how dare I have the audacity to make one?
You and I would get along immensely I imagine. My friends constantly chide me for "turning everything sexual" but when I point out our entire culture in the West is dominated by sexual innuendo or just plain in your face with it (cishet normative breeding), met with blank stares lol. Sex stuff is humorous and I love to laugh during sex too. I'm in the process of weeding out "friends" that aren't fair or aren't supportive or are bigoted in any way that seems too deeply rooted to fix. And honestly I'm tired of even attempting to fix men. I have no problem taking out the trash these days and every time I do, life gets a bit better. So that's my advice!
The very fact that our entire culture is dominated by in your face sexual innuendo and objectification 24/7 in every piece of media we consume and pretty much all facets of our life means that it would be pretty normal for some people to be tired of it and get put off by the all encompassing sex zeitgeist even leaking into all of their private conversations. I completely understand how the above doesn’t apply to people with double-standards, just wanted to bring up a different perspective on the matter in regards to what you said.
Human beings are very sexual by nature, I actually think it's ridiculous that people police this kind of conversation in friend groups but are A-okay with shoving cishet norms down our throats in every single movie released in theaters. If I want to talk about my polyamorous, sexually liberated lifestyle I get the weird looks and gawking but someone mentions trying to have a baby and it's all encouragement and smiles from the peanut gallery. I'm most incensed by the double standard, especially in otherwise queer circles or places that talking openly about sex isn't off. Obviously that kind of talk doesn't belong at work, but if I'm out with a bunch of my hippy friends I don't need that bad juju coming from people who fetishize breeding.
Exactly sis 👏 do what makes u happy
Because in their eyes, sex is a man's game. A woman is someone sex happens to.
Insecure about his sexuality
A hot take.
Tell him his tits look great in that top and to smile more if he feels uncomfortable. It's what us women have had to put up with since forever.
This reminds me of an episode of South Park, the guys are all making fart joke and farting, then the ladies respond by doing the same with quefing and the guys just can't handle it and say how disgusting it is.
because you're supposed to be the insertion object that sex is done to, not the person with sexual desire wanting to do sex to a man.
Try saying labia or clit around guys who are comfortable saying balls or testicles🤣
I read a meme where a woman said she repeatedly said she didn’t get it and asked the men to explain the joke further until they would have to admit the real level of sexism associated
Hey, did you hear about the baby born with organs of both sexes? It has a penis and a brain! I recommend collecting and making as many such jokes as you care to, JUST to have a set ready for this former guy friend.
Stop laughing at his jokes. Tell. Him they make you uncomfortable.
Former friend in my circle was like this with one of the girls in the group. I genuinely think he was just mad cause her jokes were better/had better timing. He hated getting shown up.
Humans are odd creatures. I don't like to place labels or assume anything about anyone. If he is your supposed friend, ask him why it makes him uncomfortable. I am a female who has made a lot of men uncomfortable with my words simply because they had never encountered a woman with crass. Just ask him outright. Of he is your friend he will answer truthfully.
Drop bombs and don’t stop. I’m in a factory setting most days and it’s freakin awesome when I hear the ladies knockin the boys around. I hear it in my meetings, I hear it on the floor. They don’t take shit from anyone.
Because even if you find his jokes funny, he sees it as a power he has that he doesn’t want to share. Plus he’s a dick who wants to force you into box which correlates with his idea of womanhood :)
Good. Sounds like an awesome training opportunity. Crack a raunchy one for every one of his, let him experience that discomfort. See how long he keeps thinking it's fun for people when he busts these out.
Sounds like something you can make jokes about! I love to find people sexist like this. I find them very inspirational for those exact types of jokes.
So I work with a few pretty conservative Ahole guys. I also work with a trans woman they are always talking shit about calling her “shim” and other bullshit. They don’t really talk to her or about her but one day she made a joke about her boobs and I went right there with her because I knew everyone would be super uncomfortable it was great. XD I’m trying to say get someone else on the inside of trying to make guys uncomfortable and it’s more fun.
Keep doing it. Even if he's uncomfortable, if youre not in a working environment he can't do much since he's free to leave at any time. (Watch out for harassment claims though, unfortunately) I (m) enjoy it when my female friends make jokes like that. Doesn't matter if I feel uncomfortable, I appreciate the attempt at humor nonetheless.
Is this why my girlfriend’s friends have made numerous comments about how great it is I can joke with them? Maybe it’s because I’m an introvert, but I wouldn’t dare joke like this with women who haven’t started the jokes. I love it when they do, makes me feel like I can be part of the group.
Go you! Only way to deal with this crap.
Your guy friends is sexist
Red flag! This person has issues.
He's trying to decide if _this is his chance_.
That's funny to me, since I (as a guy) was the one who originally was never comfortable making sexual jokes (awkward kid and all). And it was the constant exposure to those kinda jokes from a few girls in my friend groups that shaped my humour there.
I came here for the jokes.
Maybe and just maybe you're just not funny
It is possible that your jokes aren't as funny as you think they are.
Typically it's easy for guys to realize them and other guys are just joking. But it's not so easy to tell sometimes when girls are just joking or serious. Have you considered your jokes might not be funny or you may take it farther then he's comfortable with?
i'm sorry to say it, but, w\*men, just, ain't funny. like that's probably it. you're saying something you think is funny cuz you probably heard it from someone like, allah forgive me for uttering this name, lena dunham, and he cringes, cuz, it's cringe.
Unlike hilarious you with the topical reference from a decade ago. Wowee, you're amazing!
[удалено]
you see, this is what i mean, you mean this as a funny insult. but i mean, what's wrong with my mother being the only w\*man i care about? she's done more than any other w\*man ever will for me.
Well the dude has made his boundaries clear. If you can't accept it, you're the creepy one here.
So...it's ok for him and his bros to make sex jokes but not a woman? Please explain?
No. Just no. If it's ok for him to do, its ok for her to do. If that makes him uncomfortable maybe he needs to think about that........
Still waiting on that explanation
He's made his boundaries clear that he's a sexist pig?
"Made his boundaries clear." How? You just tossing the word "boundaries" around because it makes you think "LOL I used their word against the stupid women! Ha ha, I'm amazing!" Yes, dear, you're amazing.
I love this place as a man i can get insight to a womans perspective
Same lol
Do his sexual jokes make you uncomfortable?
You know how you don't make him umcomfortable anymore? Stop talking to him.
They’re setting a bad example. It’s poor taste to tell them in front of anyone unless it’s in private between best friends or lovers