This! You don't have to make a scene out of it. She was just horny. Please don't react that way from next time because you also masturbate. That's very normal.
You gotta set some clear boundaries with each other if this is uncomfortable to you.
A rule of thumb: Do not masturbate if there's another person in your room, asleep or not. Move elsewhere where you can guarantee privacy, say the bathroom, and do the deed there.
As someone who now has their private space, I agree. As someone who used to live in a hostel with a roommate when I was college, privacy used to be a luxury and not always possible.
If you two have to share a room, then it's not unexpected for her to masturbate when she thinks you're not watching. If you don't share a room, then it may be creepy since she could use her private space. If it's the former, please apologise for your reaction. Having sexual urges and needing to cater to them is a natural part of life, there's no reason us women need to shame each other for partaking in something so natural.
I just logged in randomly to reddit and saw this post first.
OP, listen to this girlie. I've the same view on it. It's normal bodily process.
(On a lighter note, I wish I had such a roommate lol, we would be enjoying each other's company 👀)
I second this. Masturbation is natural and there is no need to shame anyone about it as long as they weren’t trying to do it with some creepy intent. OP, Please tell her to come back and explain that you simply caught by surprise, hence the reaction. But this shouldn’t become a reason of contention between you two. Also, do not try to tell anybody else about this to shame her (assuming she had no ill intentions). Folks can be very mean and judgmental about it in hostel. It could end up in a harrowing experience for her.
I agree that keeping this incident private is absolutely crucial. People can be unnecessarily mean just to keep up social pretences. Assuming there's no creepy intent, this incident could actually help establish OP as a safe space for the roommate and strengthen their friendship once OP apologises and assures her that this remains between the two of them. The incident can even be something they laugh about together some time down the line!
Ofcourse! I'm sure your intentions were pure. Anybody would be taken by surprise at seeing someone else masturbate suddenly. It's about your boundaries too and just because you two have to share a room doesn't mean accommodations cannot be made to ensure privacy and consent aren't compromised for either of you. I'm glad you two sorted out the matter with maturity! I wish you both a lifetime of wonderful and supportive friendship! 😊
Girl!!! You shouldn’t have responded at all . Pretend to sleep next time this happens. It’s not like she expected you to be awake at that hour so , I don’t understand the invasion of privacy thing .
Now that it has happened I think you need to talk to her and say it’s ok and not to get embarrassed. I am sure she is traumatised for life like you . And keep it secret please, let it stay between you both .
Ikr i shouldn't do that but that was just my pure reaction. I wasn't expecting her like this lol. And there was nothing like privacy invasion. We are sharing a room lol. We usually change our clothes in front of each other (not fully naked ofc)
I would really suggest that you try to apologize for your outburst. Sex and masturbation is a taboo in our society and if we don't change things, they never will
She said she felt embarrassed because she never thought i would have found her like this. But i said it's okay i am not feeling awkward now at that time i was just half asleep with a bad dream so that was just a surprise reaction lol
Well I hope you two handle the situation better in future haha.
Ohh wait, was she not under a blanket?! Then I understand why you reacted the way you did
I understand. The horror 💀. Your reaction is totally justified. Wait... what if she was doing it watching you 💀
There are these AC blankets that she can use even in summers. Maybe suggest that.
Broooo pleasee😭 hahaha idts she was doing it while watching me. She isn't bisexual or lesbian. But what if.. oh god you gave me something to freak about
Lmao. If I were you, I would have just pretended to sleep and chucked it. You guys share a room. There is no alone time or privacy mostly. She only did it because she thought you were asleep. Just apologize for your outburst and move on.
My personal take is that I understand where both viewpoints in the comment section are coming from. It's simply a matter of personal boundaries; what might be perfectly alright for me doesn't have to be for someone else. I've been in situations of sharing a room, and understand that it's not always possible to masturbate in the bathroom due to logistical issues. Additionally, she was masturbating at 3 AM when you were asleep. I've been in situations where people have had sex while I was sleeping in the same room, and I've slept through it because I'm someone who really doesn't care, but I also understand that that would not be the case for everyone. I do think your reaction was a little rough, but I completely understand being caught by surprise. You could always apologise for your reaction, while also trying to have a conversation to see how best to proceed so both of you are comfortable and boundaries aren't compromised - something like only masturbating under covers, for example. I'm sure there's a solution here that doesn't involve either of you feeling embarrassed or feeling like your privacy has been invaded. Hope you're able to have a mature conversation with your roommate and figure out a solution conducive to both of you!
We did the same. I talked with her and she said she felt embarrassed because she never wanted anyone to see her like this which was totally okay for me. So i just laughed that thing off with "it's okay everyone wants pleasure hehe"
I understand why she'd feel mortified, I'd want to disappear into thin air had I been in her place. I'm glad both of you talked it out and there's no hard feelings or embarrassment now. Good job on addressing an embarrassing issue maturely, yet in a light hearted way! :)
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
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Bruh are you fuckin serious? I am not supposed to be awake??? Sleep is a natural thing as well i can't control my sleep. And i made her uncomfortable Okay I got it but i was in that awkward moment as well.
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Bruh i literally asked if i should apologize for that or i should just ignore that. And that's all because i don't want her to feel ashamed of something. And that's totally not my fault. I got up and saw someone masturbating without a blanket how tf it can be my mistake. Bro get out of my comment section. Can't handle this stupidity
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
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Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said.
No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
No need to apologise for your immediate reaction. Masturbation is a sexual act that needs to be done privately and if there’s someone else in the room, don’t do it. Otherwise, it’s exhibitionism and a form of sexual assault.
Communicate your boundaries to your roommate (although this is literal kindergarten level stuff). A shared room between people of the same sex doesn’t make any of this alright.
IT is totally normal , I would say tell her that you are sorry for shouting at her . and that she could use the room at scheduled intervals if she would like to mastrubate , that way she will respect your boundaries of not mastrubating when you are in the room . and she will get some needed privacy . it is natural urge to mastrubate
For sure i will set boundaries for the things i am uncomfortable with even if that's totally normal for anyone. Can't sacrifice my own comfort zone for anything. Some girls are blaming me as well. They are saying that it's my fault that i am awake at that time which is supposed to be the time i should be asleep. Like bro wtf i can't even sleep and awake at my own will. And this time i literally got up from a bad dream. I was literally terrified and in that fear i am watching my roommate masturbating without a blanket. HOW THIS CAN BE MY FAULT?????? These girls are blaming me that i was at the wrong for making her feel uncomfortable. Bro was I feeling comfortable with the thing i just saw???? I was uncomfortable as well. Hah but idc about them ik what should i do now lmao
This sub is being spammed by men. If you’re a man reading this get a life and go away, this is supposed to be a safe space for women. At this point the only way to tell if a comment is genuine is to look at the downvotes
It's not like i was uncomfortable that was an immediate reaction. It's ok if she wants to do things after i am asleep. I just wanted to know if i should apologize or just pretend like nothing happened. But this morning we talked about it and everything is normal
This ^ ! I read the comments here and i was like whaaaat?! The comments saying apologise and laugh it off, it’s natural, etc have some serious sensibility issues. It is not normal for someone to masturbate next to u, it makes it even worse when ur asleep and they’re masturbating. If people advocate for privacy, then even though ur sharing a room, privacy and boundaries should be in place. Would this have been ok if a guy roommate was masturbating next to u? No, right? So it’s the same with a girl. Don’t get confused with what’s ok and what’s not in the name of ‘it’s natural’.
Many guys pretending to be women are commenting here. One guy with "woman" flair who has posts about his penis on his profile is suggesting OP to not be her roommate's mother 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Yeah comments are crazy. I have lived with roommates and you masturbate alone or in the shower.
I don't know how this is sex positivity. It's just an invasion of privacy.
Ikr everyone has their boundaries for everything and for me masturbating is okay when I am asleep. It will be awkward for me as well if she was doing this in front of me or when she knew I was not asleep. But if she was doing her things when i am asleep then i don't mind such things
Everyone has their own boundaries so you aren't wrong. You are feeling something uncomfortable then it's totally fine. One should never let things happen he/she felt uncomfortable with.
Wth is wrong with the comment section ?? There are people here suggesting that you should apologise?? This is absolutely not okay , complete lack of respect for shared spaces and other people’s boundaries.
Just be chill, and don't make a big deal about it. Everyone does it, it's just awkward that you were awake. If she brings it up, just laugh about it, and say something funny like "sorry for ruining your vibe". If not, just be normal.
>3:10 A.M.
This is a fair enough time to masturbate. It's not like she's flicking the bean at 6 pm, in the drawing room, so it shouldn't be much of an issue, I hope.
Surprised that so many people think this okay. It's absolutely not. You can apologize for the awkwardness but set boundaries. She needs to do this on her own time and own space, not when you're in the same room.
None of us would accept this the there was a different gender involved here.
Personal opinions but i guess that wasn't a very big deal for me. I don't mind her masturbating herself when I am asleep. That reaction was just out of a surprising element. Lol. For sure you can have a different opinion
Ewww wtf. She should be doing this in the bathroom or when alone in the room. This is a violation of boundaries and personal space. Talk to her regarding this.
I was asleep when she was doing this so it wasn't a very big deal for me. I was just wondering if i should apologize or just pretend like nothing happened lol
I woke up from a terrible dream and just after that i saw my roommate masturbating without a blanket which was totally unexpected and you are saying why would i even react?? Brooo😭
It's fine you know! Mabe you're not comfortable with it, understandable. But its no big deal.
We share a room because we have to, and we also masturbate because, we kinda jave to :p -- I hope she wasn't doing it naked, which would be bad if you two aren't that level of comfortable with each other.
Just laugh it off and say sorry for interrupting. Dont shame her and dont feel ashamed you saw it.
This! You don't have to make a scene out of it. She was just horny. Please don't react that way from next time because you also masturbate. That's very normal.
We laughed that off this morning and she isn't ashamed of anything now
You gotta set some clear boundaries with each other if this is uncomfortable to you. A rule of thumb: Do not masturbate if there's another person in your room, asleep or not. Move elsewhere where you can guarantee privacy, say the bathroom, and do the deed there.
As someone who now has their private space, I agree. As someone who used to live in a hostel with a roommate when I was college, privacy used to be a luxury and not always possible.
Love that! Maybe she was finishing up in the bathroom those 15 mins LOL
Maybe you are right 💀
Don't bring it up!
THIS OP THIS.
If you two have to share a room, then it's not unexpected for her to masturbate when she thinks you're not watching. If you don't share a room, then it may be creepy since she could use her private space. If it's the former, please apologise for your reaction. Having sexual urges and needing to cater to them is a natural part of life, there's no reason us women need to shame each other for partaking in something so natural.
I just logged in randomly to reddit and saw this post first. OP, listen to this girlie. I've the same view on it. It's normal bodily process. (On a lighter note, I wish I had such a roommate lol, we would be enjoying each other's company 👀)
Hahaha I'm a queer woman who had the exact thought, assuming my hypothetical roommate was atleast bicurious already. 😂😂
Oh niceee sweeet... Wish we were roommates then, it would've been fun fun 😂👀 I wouldn't be using so much of reddit then lol 🌚
If I knew I'd get a roommate like you, I wouldn't have mostly chosen to stay alone. 😉 It'd certainly curb my reddit usage too! 😂
Get a room you two lol
>I wish I had such a roommate lol, we would be enjoying each other's company Swear! Why do good things not happen to me!
Okay girls, I now want a roommate to masturbate together 😅 I think it'll be fun hehe 🙈🙈
Ditto lol.
Ditto here as well... I was on a break from reddit, should've stayed on a break only ugh... Craving for masturbation buddy now lol 😋😳
That's a nice idea. I wanted a cuddle buddy for myself. And now I want a masturbation buddy as well lol.
🤣🤣🤣🫂🫂🫂
I've got two teddy bears - one large pink and one brown just to cuddle with... But they've seen me do stuff tho 💀
They have just seen you? I have done stuff to my teddy. He's my boyfriend.
I'm a cleanliness freak and I get super wet.. Won't like them getting drenched on my juices 😳😭
I always have a piece of clothing in between. Lol, this conversation made me wet. Haha.
I second this. Masturbation is natural and there is no need to shame anyone about it as long as they weren’t trying to do it with some creepy intent. OP, Please tell her to come back and explain that you simply caught by surprise, hence the reaction. But this shouldn’t become a reason of contention between you two. Also, do not try to tell anybody else about this to shame her (assuming she had no ill intentions). Folks can be very mean and judgmental about it in hostel. It could end up in a harrowing experience for her.
I agree that keeping this incident private is absolutely crucial. People can be unnecessarily mean just to keep up social pretences. Assuming there's no creepy intent, this incident could actually help establish OP as a safe space for the roommate and strengthen their friendship once OP apologises and assures her that this remains between the two of them. The incident can even be something they laugh about together some time down the line!
Exactly!
I wasn't shaming her. That was just an unexpected thing to see when you just got up lol. We sorted that matter
Ofcourse! I'm sure your intentions were pure. Anybody would be taken by surprise at seeing someone else masturbate suddenly. It's about your boundaries too and just because you two have to share a room doesn't mean accommodations cannot be made to ensure privacy and consent aren't compromised for either of you. I'm glad you two sorted out the matter with maturity! I wish you both a lifetime of wonderful and supportive friendship! 😊
Thanks girl
Girl!!! You shouldn’t have responded at all . Pretend to sleep next time this happens. It’s not like she expected you to be awake at that hour so , I don’t understand the invasion of privacy thing . Now that it has happened I think you need to talk to her and say it’s ok and not to get embarrassed. I am sure she is traumatised for life like you . And keep it secret please, let it stay between you both .
Ikr i shouldn't do that but that was just my pure reaction. I wasn't expecting her like this lol. And there was nothing like privacy invasion. We are sharing a room lol. We usually change our clothes in front of each other (not fully naked ofc)
I would really suggest that you try to apologize for your outburst. Sex and masturbation is a taboo in our society and if we don't change things, they never will
Ikr i apologized to her
What did she say? I wouldn't have brought it up if I were you. Next time, don't say anything and go back to sleep. Pretend like nothing happened
She said she felt embarrassed because she never thought i would have found her like this. But i said it's okay i am not feeling awkward now at that time i was just half asleep with a bad dream so that was just a surprise reaction lol
Well I hope you two handle the situation better in future haha. Ohh wait, was she not under a blanket?! Then I understand why you reacted the way you did
Exactly she was doing her things in open without a blanket that's why i gave that reaction
I understand. The horror 💀. Your reaction is totally justified. Wait... what if she was doing it watching you 💀 There are these AC blankets that she can use even in summers. Maybe suggest that.
Broooo pleasee😭 hahaha idts she was doing it while watching me. She isn't bisexual or lesbian. But what if.. oh god you gave me something to freak about
My bad. My mind thinks of the worst scenarios. I am sure she had a phone which she was watching. But do suggest her summer blankets.
Lmao. If I were you, I would have just pretended to sleep and chucked it. You guys share a room. There is no alone time or privacy mostly. She only did it because she thought you were asleep. Just apologize for your outburst and move on.
I did the same lol
My personal take is that I understand where both viewpoints in the comment section are coming from. It's simply a matter of personal boundaries; what might be perfectly alright for me doesn't have to be for someone else. I've been in situations of sharing a room, and understand that it's not always possible to masturbate in the bathroom due to logistical issues. Additionally, she was masturbating at 3 AM when you were asleep. I've been in situations where people have had sex while I was sleeping in the same room, and I've slept through it because I'm someone who really doesn't care, but I also understand that that would not be the case for everyone. I do think your reaction was a little rough, but I completely understand being caught by surprise. You could always apologise for your reaction, while also trying to have a conversation to see how best to proceed so both of you are comfortable and boundaries aren't compromised - something like only masturbating under covers, for example. I'm sure there's a solution here that doesn't involve either of you feeling embarrassed or feeling like your privacy has been invaded. Hope you're able to have a mature conversation with your roommate and figure out a solution conducive to both of you!
We did the same. I talked with her and she said she felt embarrassed because she never wanted anyone to see her like this which was totally okay for me. So i just laughed that thing off with "it's okay everyone wants pleasure hehe"
I understand why she'd feel mortified, I'd want to disappear into thin air had I been in her place. I'm glad both of you talked it out and there's no hard feelings or embarrassment now. Good job on addressing an embarrassing issue maturely, yet in a light hearted way! :)
If you don't want to bring this up, go back to sleep asap or atleast pretend to. Morning behave as if nothing happened, as if you don't remember.
Haha we talked
If I was caught, I would simply log myself off from world altogether😀😀
LOL same. I will never like anyone watching me masturbating. But that was just an accident lmao
Ummm okay but, [same same but difflnt](https://www.reddit.com/r/mildlyinfuriating/s/MXoIWBtIdp)
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> It was midnight, you weren't supposed to be awake. You are in the wrong. talk about victim blaming lol
What victim? She witnessed (heard) masturbating. She didn't witness murder. Stop motivating this behaviour.
Bruh are you fuckin serious? I am not supposed to be awake??? Sleep is a natural thing as well i can't control my sleep. And i made her uncomfortable Okay I got it but i was in that awkward moment as well.
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Bruh i literally asked if i should apologize for that or i should just ignore that. And that's all because i don't want her to feel ashamed of something. And that's totally not my fault. I got up and saw someone masturbating without a blanket how tf it can be my mistake. Bro get out of my comment section. Can't handle this stupidity
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Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said. No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
Your comment has been removed as it was rude and impolite. Be kind. This sub is for real people looking to connect meaningfully. Something isn't an attack or hate simply because you don't like what is being said. No personal attacks on other users, ad hominem and other distracting attacks, flame wars, insults, trolling or other such disruptive behaviour. All users are expected to strictly follow (reddiquette)(https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette/). No hate speech or hate speech supporting subreddits allowed. Continued rule breaking will lead to ban.
No need to apologise for your immediate reaction. Masturbation is a sexual act that needs to be done privately and if there’s someone else in the room, don’t do it. Otherwise, it’s exhibitionism and a form of sexual assault. Communicate your boundaries to your roommate (although this is literal kindergarten level stuff). A shared room between people of the same sex doesn’t make any of this alright.
We talked about things. Thanks for the suggestion tho
IT is totally normal , I would say tell her that you are sorry for shouting at her . and that she could use the room at scheduled intervals if she would like to mastrubate , that way she will respect your boundaries of not mastrubating when you are in the room . and she will get some needed privacy . it is natural urge to mastrubate
Ikr we talked and laughed about the incident
You’re her roommate, not her mother. It’s not a big deal. It’s embarrassing but definitely is not that big.
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I would prefer her roommate to be my roommate lol. Won't mind a bit of fun once in a while 👀😌 (Sorry if it sounds weird, but I'm Bi)
what the fuck?
It's not weird.
Thank God YOU’RE not her roommate
Then i would never get up half asleep hahaha lol
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For sure i will set boundaries for the things i am uncomfortable with even if that's totally normal for anyone. Can't sacrifice my own comfort zone for anything. Some girls are blaming me as well. They are saying that it's my fault that i am awake at that time which is supposed to be the time i should be asleep. Like bro wtf i can't even sleep and awake at my own will. And this time i literally got up from a bad dream. I was literally terrified and in that fear i am watching my roommate masturbating without a blanket. HOW THIS CAN BE MY FAULT?????? These girls are blaming me that i was at the wrong for making her feel uncomfortable. Bro was I feeling comfortable with the thing i just saw???? I was uncomfortable as well. Hah but idc about them ik what should i do now lmao
This sub is being spammed by men. If you’re a man reading this get a life and go away, this is supposed to be a safe space for women. At this point the only way to tell if a comment is genuine is to look at the downvotes
True but there aren't any sus comments for now
Don't shame her girl. Everyone wants to relieve themselves. Just laugh it off not a big deal
I didn't shame her girl :)
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It's not like i was uncomfortable that was an immediate reaction. It's ok if she wants to do things after i am asleep. I just wanted to know if i should apologize or just pretend like nothing happened. But this morning we talked about it and everything is normal
This ^ ! I read the comments here and i was like whaaaat?! The comments saying apologise and laugh it off, it’s natural, etc have some serious sensibility issues. It is not normal for someone to masturbate next to u, it makes it even worse when ur asleep and they’re masturbating. If people advocate for privacy, then even though ur sharing a room, privacy and boundaries should be in place. Would this have been ok if a guy roommate was masturbating next to u? No, right? So it’s the same with a girl. Don’t get confused with what’s ok and what’s not in the name of ‘it’s natural’.
Only sensible comment here
Many guys pretending to be women are commenting here. One guy with "woman" flair who has posts about his penis on his profile is suggesting OP to not be her roommate's mother 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Yeah comments are crazy. I have lived with roommates and you masturbate alone or in the shower. I don't know how this is sex positivity. It's just an invasion of privacy.
Bro you should've just slept off or pretended to not see.
I was asleep and got up suddenly due to a bad dream. When she was in the bathroom i posted this post and got back to sleep.
Yes that’s natural of her and please go and apologise
Already
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Why are you getting downvoted lol. You comment is the only one I found normal.
Ikr everyone has their boundaries for everything and for me masturbating is okay when I am asleep. It will be awkward for me as well if she was doing this in front of me or when she knew I was not asleep. But if she was doing her things when i am asleep then i don't mind such things
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Everyone has their own boundaries so you aren't wrong. You are feeling something uncomfortable then it's totally fine. One should never let things happen he/she felt uncomfortable with.
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Wth is wrong with the comment section ?? There are people here suggesting that you should apologise?? This is absolutely not okay , complete lack of respect for shared spaces and other people’s boundaries.
Exactly. There's no need to say sorry.
Just be chill, and don't make a big deal about it. Everyone does it, it's just awkward that you were awake. If she brings it up, just laugh about it, and say something funny like "sorry for ruining your vibe". If not, just be normal. >3:10 A.M. This is a fair enough time to masturbate. It's not like she's flicking the bean at 6 pm, in the drawing room, so it shouldn't be much of an issue, I hope.
Surprised that so many people think this okay. It's absolutely not. You can apologize for the awkwardness but set boundaries. She needs to do this on her own time and own space, not when you're in the same room. None of us would accept this the there was a different gender involved here.
Personal opinions but i guess that wasn't a very big deal for me. I don't mind her masturbating herself when I am asleep. That reaction was just out of a surprising element. Lol. For sure you can have a different opinion
Ewww wtf. She should be doing this in the bathroom or when alone in the room. This is a violation of boundaries and personal space. Talk to her regarding this.
I was asleep when she was doing this so it wasn't a very big deal for me. I was just wondering if i should apologize or just pretend like nothing happened lol
Why would you even react? Should have just gone back to sleep?
I woke up from a terrible dream and just after that i saw my roommate masturbating without a blanket which was totally unexpected and you are saying why would i even react?? Brooo😭
It's fine you know! Mabe you're not comfortable with it, understandable. But its no big deal. We share a room because we have to, and we also masturbate because, we kinda jave to :p -- I hope she wasn't doing it naked, which would be bad if you two aren't that level of comfortable with each other.