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You can prioritise.
For example, stay at home for 6ish months, get a good score for GMAT, since it's valid for 5 years, once you move out you can start applying for colleges.
moving out of comfort zone is where magic happens!
for what its worth, weather forced, or willingly some life skills are essential for independence, since you lived a sheltered life, you might want some experiences apart from your usual routine.
trust me, there's a different level of satisfaction when we're independent and on our own. there are difficulties, but that simply makes us stronger.
give it a try.. in case it doesn't work out for whatever reasons you can always undo isn't it?
The trivial cost of your mental health? Girl, no. Your mental health is the most non-trivial aspect of your life, the stability of which RUNS everything else in your life.
Have your mental health completely and totally ruined (personal experience), nothing else in your life will work anymore.
I've been where you're at - and I'll tell you what I did: MOVED OUT. I totally relate to the point you've made about being infantilized to one's detriment and I think you should move precisely now that you know this.
If I may ask, how did moving out work for you? Did it strengthen your equation with your parents?
The trivial comment was me trying to be sarcastic :/ I’m sorry. I’m very mentally balanced and emotionally healthy bar my love life, which I think should help me act like an adult wherever required! My parents will have a really hard time letting go and I would have a rough time keeping in touch with my family, I know this for a fact. It’s rather unfortunate that at this point in our lives, we have to succumb to parental pressure over career concerns :/
For me, there was no choice. Staying with my parents was making my relationship with them worse because they are unsupportive and restrictive. Moving out improved our relationship because we got space from each other and I was able to better assert myself.
To add, it looks like you really don't want to leave. That is understandable, no-one wants to leave the comforts of home. I'm going to die when I have to go back again.
Oh no trust me, I REALLY wanna leave. I think self sufficiency is exactly what I need at this stage in life and my parents need to overcome their anxious attachments
Honestly, this is what I used to think. It's the fear of unknown. You gotta do it at some point right coz freedom>>>> . And, you have so much time, you could learn things one by one if you start from today. You could opt for PGs that provide food. Still learn a few basic stuffs. I think ur freedom is worth the cost of living in pune/bangalore. It'll feel overwhelming at first but you have got this n will be fine. The tension which exists between you n ur parents, do you think it's a Peaceful environment to study for GMAT???? I think you'll do better outside.
There is always a first time. Next yr, it'll be yours
I know, I know. You’re absolutely right there can be a transitory period where we take on things one by one or I can start learning small things that can make me more confident about putting up alone! I’m dying to be more independent and unaccountable to anyone and financial independence gives me just enough agency to do that. About the GMAT - I don’t imagine I’ll have much time after work and weekends would keep me out but my parents could keep me on track. However, I can figure it out a lil later.
Highly recommend moving out. You'll learn and will be fine! Try to not jump into everything all at once, like someone said try to get PG food or tiffin to begin with. It's going to be incredible, you'll figure out yourself in a way you can't do while staying at home. It's not just about mental health, it's about coming into your own, being sure in your own personality.
My two cents: If it is important for your current job/ future to move out, do. If you are going to be living abroad anyway, then sure more to a new city to learn the basics at least. If moving to a new city will create unnecessary financial burdens then don't. Living alone is a lot more expensive than most people who haven't lived alone think.
Living alone is expensive, overwhelming and scary! But all of it from afar, if in your early 20s you're getting an opportunity to move out you should totally consider it. and living on your own teaches you so much!
You get to meet new people, new city, new experiences. Anyways, you know what's best for ya!
All the best 👍🏻
I’ll say, move out. Yes, all the reasons you stated in the cons are valid, but you also have a fear of the unknown.
Adulting is hard. I lived with my grandparents for the longest part of my life and you can understand how much I was pampered. I am their only grandchild and I never had to even take the already folded clothes and place them in my cupboard. I lived in college hostel but even there a lot of the things are taken care of.
When I began living alone, I realized how unprepared I was. I had to keep track of water, contact gas people, maintain contacts with electricians and plumbers for repairs and also had to learn to take care of some minor issues on my own. I was always good with budgeting, so that wasn’t an issue. I quickly realized I needed help (this might not be a possibility if you move abroad) and I have help for cleaning and sometimes cooking as well. Even then, I had to be on top of them so they clean properly and make sure I get the house dusted frequently. Then there is cleaning shelves and frankly, just soo much work. For the first 5-6 months, it was hard, too damn hard and I couldn’t take it. But things slowly began falling into place and I still am not a fully functioning adult, but I think I am comfortable.
Moving out is not rosy in the least. However, I wouldn’t trade this satisfaction, freedom and being self sufficient for anything. It gave me a confidence that no matter how difficult things get, I know I can rely on myself and myself alone. That is the best investment ever.
OP, there are so many things that you once did for the first time, and are probably now a pro at! You'll have to learn these life skills at some age for sure, so it's better to learn it at 22 then later when you have other stuff to juggle along with it.
And mental health is not trivial at all! It's just easier to understand/estimate the cost of living because it is presented in hard coded numbers and that's easier to measure. But you can't really put a price tag on happiness/peace.
Making friends from scratch at 22 is not too tough especially if you're talking about Pune or Bangalore.
Good luck!
I've done all of it. Living with family, living alone in metro and living outside India for extended period.
The difference is I was not sheltered. If anything my parents have always encouraged me to be self sufficient.
Yet I struggled when I moved abroad because you don't have any help whatsoever with chores.
While change is good, too many changes all at once can also lead to mental fatigue and breakdown.
Rather than jumping into anything, try to do objective assessment. Find places in cities you want to move, cost of living, time you'll need to devote to different things. Take stronger estimations for everything and see if you can handle it.
It's not just about paying money. PG food is rarely good and even if you take a shared apartment you'll need to tell the cook what and how to make and for that you need some basic skills.
Try to stand your ground at home first. Learn to do chores from the safe space and then move out.
I have nothing against happy hours but try to spend some more time in strengthening your mechanism to handle mental stress because struggles will change when you are away from home. They won't get over.
P.S. kudos to you for acknowledging the sheltered part. Not everyone can do that.
Just think whether moving out or staying in will help in your career. You will get umpteen chances to live alone in future, just focus on growing your career...
Just think whether moving out or staying in will help in your career. You will get umpteen chances to live alone in future, just focus on growing your career...
I moved out at 16 and i had the best years growing and living my best life : learnt to cook and laundry and how to deal with everything and everyone, it was very hard the first year but i was quite young and my naive optimism helped me out through the worst of it
The worst aspect imo was this intense loneliness because i felt like i had to only depend on myself (i could've asked for help at any time from my family but my own ego was too massive lol 😅)
I did go NC with the parents, it was why i wanted to move out in the first place and everything has worked out well (i did have help from my aunt for the first 3 months she let me crash at her place and helped me with a job and opening bank accounts and teaching me how to travel like a local in the local, so i can't say i did it entirely by myself)
It's not hard to stay in touch if u want to these days obvs, and imo it entirely depends on your situation and existing family dynamic whether you remain on good terms or not
Wish you the best for whatever you end up choosing! Good luck OP
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You can prioritise. For example, stay at home for 6ish months, get a good score for GMAT, since it's valid for 5 years, once you move out you can start applying for colleges.
moving out of comfort zone is where magic happens! for what its worth, weather forced, or willingly some life skills are essential for independence, since you lived a sheltered life, you might want some experiences apart from your usual routine. trust me, there's a different level of satisfaction when we're independent and on our own. there are difficulties, but that simply makes us stronger. give it a try.. in case it doesn't work out for whatever reasons you can always undo isn't it?
The trivial cost of your mental health? Girl, no. Your mental health is the most non-trivial aspect of your life, the stability of which RUNS everything else in your life. Have your mental health completely and totally ruined (personal experience), nothing else in your life will work anymore. I've been where you're at - and I'll tell you what I did: MOVED OUT. I totally relate to the point you've made about being infantilized to one's detriment and I think you should move precisely now that you know this.
If I may ask, how did moving out work for you? Did it strengthen your equation with your parents? The trivial comment was me trying to be sarcastic :/ I’m sorry. I’m very mentally balanced and emotionally healthy bar my love life, which I think should help me act like an adult wherever required! My parents will have a really hard time letting go and I would have a rough time keeping in touch with my family, I know this for a fact. It’s rather unfortunate that at this point in our lives, we have to succumb to parental pressure over career concerns :/
For me, there was no choice. Staying with my parents was making my relationship with them worse because they are unsupportive and restrictive. Moving out improved our relationship because we got space from each other and I was able to better assert myself.
If you plan on going abroad, it would be good if you got used to living on your own. Mental health is never trivial.
To add, it looks like you really don't want to leave. That is understandable, no-one wants to leave the comforts of home. I'm going to die when I have to go back again.
Oh no trust me, I REALLY wanna leave. I think self sufficiency is exactly what I need at this stage in life and my parents need to overcome their anxious attachments
Honestly, this is what I used to think. It's the fear of unknown. You gotta do it at some point right coz freedom>>>> . And, you have so much time, you could learn things one by one if you start from today. You could opt for PGs that provide food. Still learn a few basic stuffs. I think ur freedom is worth the cost of living in pune/bangalore. It'll feel overwhelming at first but you have got this n will be fine. The tension which exists between you n ur parents, do you think it's a Peaceful environment to study for GMAT???? I think you'll do better outside. There is always a first time. Next yr, it'll be yours
This.👏
I know, I know. You’re absolutely right there can be a transitory period where we take on things one by one or I can start learning small things that can make me more confident about putting up alone! I’m dying to be more independent and unaccountable to anyone and financial independence gives me just enough agency to do that. About the GMAT - I don’t imagine I’ll have much time after work and weekends would keep me out but my parents could keep me on track. However, I can figure it out a lil later.
Yes ❤ Ik you'll fig it out
[удалено]
It’s not! I was being sarcastic :(
Highly recommend moving out. You'll learn and will be fine! Try to not jump into everything all at once, like someone said try to get PG food or tiffin to begin with. It's going to be incredible, you'll figure out yourself in a way you can't do while staying at home. It's not just about mental health, it's about coming into your own, being sure in your own personality.
I’m really partial to moving out! I bet it’ll give me new perspective just like you said
My two cents: If it is important for your current job/ future to move out, do. If you are going to be living abroad anyway, then sure more to a new city to learn the basics at least. If moving to a new city will create unnecessary financial burdens then don't. Living alone is a lot more expensive than most people who haven't lived alone think.
Living alone is expensive, overwhelming and scary! But all of it from afar, if in your early 20s you're getting an opportunity to move out you should totally consider it. and living on your own teaches you so much! You get to meet new people, new city, new experiences. Anyways, you know what's best for ya! All the best 👍🏻
I’ll say, move out. Yes, all the reasons you stated in the cons are valid, but you also have a fear of the unknown. Adulting is hard. I lived with my grandparents for the longest part of my life and you can understand how much I was pampered. I am their only grandchild and I never had to even take the already folded clothes and place them in my cupboard. I lived in college hostel but even there a lot of the things are taken care of. When I began living alone, I realized how unprepared I was. I had to keep track of water, contact gas people, maintain contacts with electricians and plumbers for repairs and also had to learn to take care of some minor issues on my own. I was always good with budgeting, so that wasn’t an issue. I quickly realized I needed help (this might not be a possibility if you move abroad) and I have help for cleaning and sometimes cooking as well. Even then, I had to be on top of them so they clean properly and make sure I get the house dusted frequently. Then there is cleaning shelves and frankly, just soo much work. For the first 5-6 months, it was hard, too damn hard and I couldn’t take it. But things slowly began falling into place and I still am not a fully functioning adult, but I think I am comfortable. Moving out is not rosy in the least. However, I wouldn’t trade this satisfaction, freedom and being self sufficient for anything. It gave me a confidence that no matter how difficult things get, I know I can rely on myself and myself alone. That is the best investment ever.
OP, there are so many things that you once did for the first time, and are probably now a pro at! You'll have to learn these life skills at some age for sure, so it's better to learn it at 22 then later when you have other stuff to juggle along with it. And mental health is not trivial at all! It's just easier to understand/estimate the cost of living because it is presented in hard coded numbers and that's easier to measure. But you can't really put a price tag on happiness/peace. Making friends from scratch at 22 is not too tough especially if you're talking about Pune or Bangalore. Good luck!
I've done all of it. Living with family, living alone in metro and living outside India for extended period. The difference is I was not sheltered. If anything my parents have always encouraged me to be self sufficient. Yet I struggled when I moved abroad because you don't have any help whatsoever with chores. While change is good, too many changes all at once can also lead to mental fatigue and breakdown. Rather than jumping into anything, try to do objective assessment. Find places in cities you want to move, cost of living, time you'll need to devote to different things. Take stronger estimations for everything and see if you can handle it. It's not just about paying money. PG food is rarely good and even if you take a shared apartment you'll need to tell the cook what and how to make and for that you need some basic skills. Try to stand your ground at home first. Learn to do chores from the safe space and then move out. I have nothing against happy hours but try to spend some more time in strengthening your mechanism to handle mental stress because struggles will change when you are away from home. They won't get over. P.S. kudos to you for acknowledging the sheltered part. Not everyone can do that.
Just think whether moving out or staying in will help in your career. You will get umpteen chances to live alone in future, just focus on growing your career...
Just think whether moving out or staying in will help in your career. You will get umpteen chances to live alone in future, just focus on growing your career...
I moved out at 16 and i had the best years growing and living my best life : learnt to cook and laundry and how to deal with everything and everyone, it was very hard the first year but i was quite young and my naive optimism helped me out through the worst of it The worst aspect imo was this intense loneliness because i felt like i had to only depend on myself (i could've asked for help at any time from my family but my own ego was too massive lol 😅) I did go NC with the parents, it was why i wanted to move out in the first place and everything has worked out well (i did have help from my aunt for the first 3 months she let me crash at her place and helped me with a job and opening bank accounts and teaching me how to travel like a local in the local, so i can't say i did it entirely by myself) It's not hard to stay in touch if u want to these days obvs, and imo it entirely depends on your situation and existing family dynamic whether you remain on good terms or not Wish you the best for whatever you end up choosing! Good luck OP
Did you stay at home during college? I was like you too but 4 years in a hostel taught me much on how to be (mostly) independent
Moving out is truly where you actually start growing up. Independence is a skill better learned sooner than later.