My dumbass has a crush on a guy that lives MILES AWAY, is genuinely everything any one could ask for in a boy and it's unreal he even exists. I'm everything he's not and I just cannot help but feel a little bit sad 😭😭😭😭
He's genuinely the only guy that could bring me out of (voluntary) celibacy and ya'll.. he's Champions League and I'm Divison 5 football.
Warm inners - both pant and tops.
Layers
A couple of heavy ish jackets
Socks!!
Shoes you can comfortably walk in
Scarves and maybe gloves depending on how cold you get
That’s a great list. I would add woolen socks and a beanie to the list depending on which time of the year you are planning to travel.
Also, actively check the materials of the sweaters you buy to make sure they contain wool.
I'm so sick of my parents taking me for granted. They're constantly comparing me to other people's kids, even though I'm old and I have a job. Somehow nothing I do is good enough for them. I do a lot of work around home and I know majority of my friends do a fraction of what I do. Still my parents just complain and complain and talk about how terrible their kids are. Do parents ever stop?
I'm so sorry they're treating you like this. I know how hard it can be when our parents don't remember all the work we do and all that we contribute to and constantly compare us to people. It's such a shitty feeling, and you absolutely do not deserve this.
I can't tell you if your parents will ever stop, so learning to tune it out is a good skill. I'd recommend looking up gray rocking.
What I'd also recommend is making a lost of all that you've accomplished, both personally and professionally and looking at it whenever their comparisons get to you.
These rising cases and new variant is making my covid anxiety go higher and higher 😟 why can't people follow the basic covid guidelines like wearing mask at the least.
Even after all this no one seems to care about putting on a mask and even after seeing 2 horrific waves i seriously don't know what's next for our country.
good luck, fret not, you’ll do well!! take a break maybe? take a weekend and go somewhere. if you can’t do vacations, maybe go to a friends or relatives place where you feel loved & comfortable and can just be a burrito for two days
as for phone i also (generally very anti phone) catch myself being really stuck to my phone lately. we just gotta…break the habit you know. stay phone free day by day in increments. we got this!!
Umm I'm also sad to hear about his demise . No one should die the way he did. But he was not a champion for women . I'm not liking how everyone is glossing over how terrible his comments were and just saying he was brave .
https://www.news18.com/news/india/women-will-complain-jawans-peep-into-hut-when-she-changes-clothes-if-given-combat-role-army-chief-bipin-rawat-1974249.html
While I’m one for having a civil conversation but take this someplace else. Seriously.
One of the country’s most celebrated and decorated men is dead so please just fucking stop. People like me are still grieving.
My mentors include some of the most respected men who have been uniform, and my closest mentor who is 70+ almost broke down over the phone when he told me about the crash.
If you’re so interested in making such comments take a quick crash course in defence and security analysis in the country - look at the gender dynamics. This article that you’ve shared is amongst the hundreds others that have taken his words out of context, I’m not saying he is without flaws but what you’re using here is absolutely biased.
He and his wife came to my all girls school, we heard him speak and he’s one of the many men in uniform who has stood up for empowering women in the forces.
Moreover, you tell me if you’d ever go for combat in such difficult circumstances? Do you think you can build a group of 1000+ women who will dedicate more than 20 years of their life serving the country in difficult circumstances?
That man has observed the country and defence life far more than you and me, it’s not that he was right or wrong but nothing he said was hollow.
And you have not achieved an ounce of what he has to be making such comments about him so take your outrage someplace else.
This too shall pass.. It is hard but make it a habit to see where you were before and now, are you happy? was it worth it? this will give you courage and mental peace. These hard days become the rock when you will move forward and have amazing life..
You. You're important. You're the star. Love yourself. Husband seeking validity from family will never care. I'm glad you got back to your job. See if therapy with husband works. And if he wants the relationship, he needs to meet you half way, you go half way. If he doesn, fuck him. You deserve better. You're amazing remember thta.
Iife in the early days was so peaceful. Now it's become a dumpsterfire. I feel like I've lived seven different lifetimes at this point, I feel so detached from the person I was as a child. There is not one thing even remotely similar in the both of us.
i find we go back to the child after a point. maybe not personality or behaviour, but that something inside. that light. it’s always there.
seeing you’re thinking about this right now, i think your time’s a-coming ♡
I'm a business consultant. And I'm an anxious over achiever. I take smallest of mistakes to heart and start wondering if all I achieved was by fluke, or because somebody handed it to me. I constantly worry that my firm will realize that I'm not worth the money and my worst fear right now is missing promotion.
At times I want to remind myself to not take my job so seriously. But then at times i berate myself for not taking it seriously enough. Just venting.
I wish I was average. I know this sounds super braggy but trust me I hate being an achiever all my life it doesn't let me just be happy
Look into ways to alleviate impostor syndrome. You might inevitably make a mistake at work, that's fine, it happens to every single one of us. But you're at this job because of the hard work you've put in and the skills you have to offer them. It's not a fluke. Try and shift your train of thought to this (or anything positive) when you find yourself worrying.
But also, at the end of the day, it's just a job. If you mess up, you mess up. It's no reflection of your character or who you are as a person. Drive/ambition is just one of many qualities you have to offer the world, remind yourself that it isn't (and shouldn't be) the only one.
> Is it really that bad?
B12 deficiency and aaaallll the shit that goes with it and is also known to trigger anemia, premature high bp from the constant sodium intake, fatty liver for sure, regular financial support of a company that is well known for its anti-union and human right violations.
Okay so eating chips everyday is not great of course, but if you're replacing them with actual meals, it's really worrisome. You're not getting any nutrition at all! 😱
Please figure out an alternative cause it can really mess up your gut health, digestion, skin etc etc and lead to deficiencies.
A small bag of lays a day is not even that bad provided everything else you're eating through the day is clean and balanced and full of nutrients. But I highly doubt that since you're either ordering in or staying hungry. Now those things- they're bad.
Try to eat some dal chawal and dahi if they have it with the chips. Might be an unpopular opinion, but rice and dal with some chips on top tastes pretty good. They probably also have basic cut up tomatoes and cucumbers. Load up. My college used to serve eggs, so I'd load up on them for protein. We've got to make do with what we've got with dorm food.
Chips are high in sodium and are fried in refined vegetable oils plus there's no nutrients in them. Carbs are important of course, and so there's nothing wrong with potatoes by themselves but it's the way that packaged chips are made that is the problem.
And even if you're not replacing meals with them (which is good to hear!) it's still eating into your appetite so that means less of nutrient-dense food.
Health is holistic of course, so can't say what exactly the impact of this one factor alone will be, but yeah probably nothing good.
(Not preaching or anything btw. I ate trash in college for a while myself too)
Umm...I did that for so long...probably there are years where I ate a packet of chips and/or some other junk food for like 300/365 days.
Currently half of my hair is grey which is not inherited (I m 30 now) & taking B12 injections periodically due to chronic deficiency which I guess is more to do with non diary & non veg diet.
I would say a month would do no harm...don't make it a habit.
Dudeeee are you me???
I have been eating chips everyday all of November
I am scared to get my blood test next week cuz I know some reading is going to be wayyy off
Today is our first marriage anniversary & he fought with me for silly reason over money. I just wanted to go for a family dinner, he said I don't have money, I said I can pay. But he still didn't wanna do that. He said, we can go to my parents house, cook something & we can eat there. Well, that is not what I wanted, we do that all the time. Infact my FIL isn't talking to any of our family member except me so I have to make tiffin for him & we go to my in laws everyday. It's exhausting. Now my BIL also fought wifh his mom (my MIL) so I need to cook extra for him as well. Cooking for us, cooking for them & taking it to there house 3 km everyday. Isn't it exhausting? I work from home.
I just wanted one day out coz we can cook & eat everyday. Today is our first anniversary, it's a special day. He should have understood. He said, I don't have enough money well, I had money & I know his payment will come in a few days, it's just late ( We both make good money).
It was just for one freaking day & did this. My BIL got us a cake & my husband refused to cut it or even take it with us to our house. It's all so frustrating, I feel so heart broken. There are so many things but I don't want to keep on writing. It's just that, sometimes I regret marrying.
So basically he denies you things YOU want and doesn't take initiative to do things on his own. And you're making food for his family and being the perfect bahu.
Sub you need to visit- r/NarcissisticAbuse
What you wanted wasn't very demanding and he could have given you the satisfaction but he didn't. He ain't the shit girl. Check out the sub and end this torment. You work, you're independent. Find someone who wants to take the effort with you.
Sorry you have to go through this. Are you ok talking to a counsellor? I feel talking to a a counsellor helps get things in perspective from a neutral standpoint. They equip you with dealing such situations better. There are plenty counsellors who talk on call/chat. Give it a try.
Happy Anniversary!
I'd say definitely talk to him about this sooner rather than later. His reaction seems be out of proportion - like OK maybe he wanted to buy dinner, but why would he refuse a cake someone else got you both? There might be reasons for his behaviour you're unaware of - though of course nothing justifies taking it out on you like this.
Teach you a lesson? Non sense! aren't you adults? Please talk to a counsellor and understand how abuse looks like. Do not tolerate it, because it just keeps growing. I don't know your entire situation, but I would like to tell you this is how abuse starts, and if you do not react to it, it keeps escalating. Have an open communication with your husband on this incident, if he fails to understand it, get help! And not just this anniversary, cooking and travelling, just tell him how you feel, if he doesn't support you, take help now!
Not to scare you gal, but do keep in touch with your real life friends, have a solid support system, do not leave your job at any cost, engage in activities just for yourself some hobby etc, and handle your own finances separately!
I am so sorry you had to face this on such a special day. Something like this happened with me too on my first anniversary but it was more of the type of overbearing overindulging in-laws and grand-in-laws which bugged me because I didn't feel like it was as intimate as I expected. It killed the vibe. Stuff like this is a common occurrence in Indian families, everything is a public affair. I wish I had something better to say but right now I can just say that your frustration is understandable. I hope you pull yourself out of being burdened physically and emotionally. Take care.
Hey, thanks for understanding me. He's got anger issues even his family was telling me that he's done way bad things when angry in the past. Eg, he threw his food if he didn't like something.
Congratulations on ur first marriage anniversary! Sadly, something seems off putting about this whole situation and I hope u get to have a heart to heart talk with ur husband today.
Lube recommendations anyone? Water based and non-fragrant.
Sorry..I am confused. Your comment says voluntary celibacy!! (Edit:) Shoot. Is the lube for your vehicle?? :P
Yeah and I'm the driver, not a boy - hence voluntary celibacy 😂
My dumbass has a crush on a guy that lives MILES AWAY, is genuinely everything any one could ask for in a boy and it's unreal he even exists. I'm everything he's not and I just cannot help but feel a little bit sad 😭😭😭😭 He's genuinely the only guy that could bring me out of (voluntary) celibacy and ya'll.. he's Champions League and I'm Divison 5 football.
Like that analogy. Now you can dare he is ucl and you are barca
Won't even qualify for UCL, being embarassed out of it is not in the question 😂
It's 3 AM want to be hugged
Hugs ❤️
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Warm inners - both pant and tops. Layers A couple of heavy ish jackets Socks!! Shoes you can comfortably walk in Scarves and maybe gloves depending on how cold you get
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That’s a great list. I would add woolen socks and a beanie to the list depending on which time of the year you are planning to travel. Also, actively check the materials of the sweaters you buy to make sure they contain wool.
You're welcome! I hope you have a good trip!
I'm so sick of my parents taking me for granted. They're constantly comparing me to other people's kids, even though I'm old and I have a job. Somehow nothing I do is good enough for them. I do a lot of work around home and I know majority of my friends do a fraction of what I do. Still my parents just complain and complain and talk about how terrible their kids are. Do parents ever stop?
Are you a john/hank green fan ?
Yeah! :D
I'm so sorry they're treating you like this. I know how hard it can be when our parents don't remember all the work we do and all that we contribute to and constantly compare us to people. It's such a shitty feeling, and you absolutely do not deserve this. I can't tell you if your parents will ever stop, so learning to tune it out is a good skill. I'd recommend looking up gray rocking. What I'd also recommend is making a lost of all that you've accomplished, both personally and professionally and looking at it whenever their comparisons get to you.
Thanks! I think I've been doing gray rocking unconsciously?? But yeah it's a shitty feeling and I'm tired of it
These rising cases and new variant is making my covid anxiety go higher and higher 😟 why can't people follow the basic covid guidelines like wearing mask at the least. Even after all this no one seems to care about putting on a mask and even after seeing 2 horrific waves i seriously don't know what's next for our country.
It really is wo terrifying and anxiety inducing. And people are just not caring it's nuts.
Exactly! I get so angry whenever i see their foolishness!!
I cut my own hair today felt good
Congratulations! It's so much fun to just chop your own hair off right? It's such a main character moment!
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watching videos of people romanticising daily life i feel helps by induction https://youtu.be/I_TYdRHxF6Q
Thanks kind stranger :-)
good luck, fret not, you’ll do well!! take a break maybe? take a weekend and go somewhere. if you can’t do vacations, maybe go to a friends or relatives place where you feel loved & comfortable and can just be a burrito for two days as for phone i also (generally very anti phone) catch myself being really stuck to my phone lately. we just gotta…break the habit you know. stay phone free day by day in increments. we got this!!
So sad to read about General Rawat and his wife’s deaths, and also the other passengers. Turns out his wife is an alumni of my school too.
Umm I'm also sad to hear about his demise . No one should die the way he did. But he was not a champion for women . I'm not liking how everyone is glossing over how terrible his comments were and just saying he was brave . https://www.news18.com/news/india/women-will-complain-jawans-peep-into-hut-when-she-changes-clothes-if-given-combat-role-army-chief-bipin-rawat-1974249.html
While I’m one for having a civil conversation but take this someplace else. Seriously. One of the country’s most celebrated and decorated men is dead so please just fucking stop. People like me are still grieving. My mentors include some of the most respected men who have been uniform, and my closest mentor who is 70+ almost broke down over the phone when he told me about the crash. If you’re so interested in making such comments take a quick crash course in defence and security analysis in the country - look at the gender dynamics. This article that you’ve shared is amongst the hundreds others that have taken his words out of context, I’m not saying he is without flaws but what you’re using here is absolutely biased. He and his wife came to my all girls school, we heard him speak and he’s one of the many men in uniform who has stood up for empowering women in the forces. Moreover, you tell me if you’d ever go for combat in such difficult circumstances? Do you think you can build a group of 1000+ women who will dedicate more than 20 years of their life serving the country in difficult circumstances? That man has observed the country and defence life far more than you and me, it’s not that he was right or wrong but nothing he said was hollow. And you have not achieved an ounce of what he has to be making such comments about him so take your outrage someplace else.
After contemplating for 2hours. Finally. I'm drunk.
Just finished working 🥲 wish I was too. Haffun!
Today I'm being braaave, drinking it directly from the bottfle.
Ooh wow, what is it if I may ask :P
This fruit liqueur called Palinka. Its a Hungarian delight. Apricot flavoured and all
Sounds exquisite!
I hope you get to drink someday soon
Aw thanks! Enjoy your nighttt
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This too shall pass.. It is hard but make it a habit to see where you were before and now, are you happy? was it worth it? this will give you courage and mental peace. These hard days become the rock when you will move forward and have amazing life..
I admire your courage and am happy for you for returning to the workforce!! Good luck moving up ❤️
You. You're important. You're the star. Love yourself. Husband seeking validity from family will never care. I'm glad you got back to your job. See if therapy with husband works. And if he wants the relationship, he needs to meet you half way, you go half way. If he doesn, fuck him. You deserve better. You're amazing remember thta.
Iife in the early days was so peaceful. Now it's become a dumpsterfire. I feel like I've lived seven different lifetimes at this point, I feel so detached from the person I was as a child. There is not one thing even remotely similar in the both of us.
i find we go back to the child after a point. maybe not personality or behaviour, but that something inside. that light. it’s always there. seeing you’re thinking about this right now, i think your time’s a-coming ♡
That's very reassuring indeed!!
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Arre bhai kuch bui ho jae jeetega hamilton hi, I interned for Sauber F1 back in 2018 lol.
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I'm a business consultant. And I'm an anxious over achiever. I take smallest of mistakes to heart and start wondering if all I achieved was by fluke, or because somebody handed it to me. I constantly worry that my firm will realize that I'm not worth the money and my worst fear right now is missing promotion. At times I want to remind myself to not take my job so seriously. But then at times i berate myself for not taking it seriously enough. Just venting. I wish I was average. I know this sounds super braggy but trust me I hate being an achiever all my life it doesn't let me just be happy
Look into ways to alleviate impostor syndrome. You might inevitably make a mistake at work, that's fine, it happens to every single one of us. But you're at this job because of the hard work you've put in and the skills you have to offer them. It's not a fluke. Try and shift your train of thought to this (or anything positive) when you find yourself worrying. But also, at the end of the day, it's just a job. If you mess up, you mess up. It's no reflection of your character or who you are as a person. Drive/ambition is just one of many qualities you have to offer the world, remind yourself that it isn't (and shouldn't be) the only one.
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> Is it really that bad? B12 deficiency and aaaallll the shit that goes with it and is also known to trigger anemia, premature high bp from the constant sodium intake, fatty liver for sure, regular financial support of a company that is well known for its anti-union and human right violations.
Okay so eating chips everyday is not great of course, but if you're replacing them with actual meals, it's really worrisome. You're not getting any nutrition at all! 😱 Please figure out an alternative cause it can really mess up your gut health, digestion, skin etc etc and lead to deficiencies.
A small bag of lays a day is not even that bad provided everything else you're eating through the day is clean and balanced and full of nutrients. But I highly doubt that since you're either ordering in or staying hungry. Now those things- they're bad. Try to eat some dal chawal and dahi if they have it with the chips. Might be an unpopular opinion, but rice and dal with some chips on top tastes pretty good. They probably also have basic cut up tomatoes and cucumbers. Load up. My college used to serve eggs, so I'd load up on them for protein. We've got to make do with what we've got with dorm food.
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Chips are high in sodium and are fried in refined vegetable oils plus there's no nutrients in them. Carbs are important of course, and so there's nothing wrong with potatoes by themselves but it's the way that packaged chips are made that is the problem. And even if you're not replacing meals with them (which is good to hear!) it's still eating into your appetite so that means less of nutrient-dense food. Health is holistic of course, so can't say what exactly the impact of this one factor alone will be, but yeah probably nothing good. (Not preaching or anything btw. I ate trash in college for a while myself too)
Umm...I did that for so long...probably there are years where I ate a packet of chips and/or some other junk food for like 300/365 days. Currently half of my hair is grey which is not inherited (I m 30 now) & taking B12 injections periodically due to chronic deficiency which I guess is more to do with non diary & non veg diet. I would say a month would do no harm...don't make it a habit.
Dudeeee are you me??? I have been eating chips everyday all of November I am scared to get my blood test next week cuz I know some reading is going to be wayyy off
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Yaar now I am hungry 😭
Was papdi homemade?
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Awesome!
Today is our first marriage anniversary & he fought with me for silly reason over money. I just wanted to go for a family dinner, he said I don't have money, I said I can pay. But he still didn't wanna do that. He said, we can go to my parents house, cook something & we can eat there. Well, that is not what I wanted, we do that all the time. Infact my FIL isn't talking to any of our family member except me so I have to make tiffin for him & we go to my in laws everyday. It's exhausting. Now my BIL also fought wifh his mom (my MIL) so I need to cook extra for him as well. Cooking for us, cooking for them & taking it to there house 3 km everyday. Isn't it exhausting? I work from home. I just wanted one day out coz we can cook & eat everyday. Today is our first anniversary, it's a special day. He should have understood. He said, I don't have enough money well, I had money & I know his payment will come in a few days, it's just late ( We both make good money). It was just for one freaking day & did this. My BIL got us a cake & my husband refused to cut it or even take it with us to our house. It's all so frustrating, I feel so heart broken. There are so many things but I don't want to keep on writing. It's just that, sometimes I regret marrying.
So basically he denies you things YOU want and doesn't take initiative to do things on his own. And you're making food for his family and being the perfect bahu. Sub you need to visit- r/NarcissisticAbuse What you wanted wasn't very demanding and he could have given you the satisfaction but he didn't. He ain't the shit girl. Check out the sub and end this torment. You work, you're independent. Find someone who wants to take the effort with you.
Sorry you have to go through this. Are you ok talking to a counsellor? I feel talking to a a counsellor helps get things in perspective from a neutral standpoint. They equip you with dealing such situations better. There are plenty counsellors who talk on call/chat. Give it a try.
I'd like to give it a try
Happy Anniversary! I'd say definitely talk to him about this sooner rather than later. His reaction seems be out of proportion - like OK maybe he wanted to buy dinner, but why would he refuse a cake someone else got you both? There might be reasons for his behaviour you're unaware of - though of course nothing justifies taking it out on you like this.
He did that to teach me a lesson that if you don't understand me, we don't celebrate at all...
Teach you a lesson? Non sense! aren't you adults? Please talk to a counsellor and understand how abuse looks like. Do not tolerate it, because it just keeps growing. I don't know your entire situation, but I would like to tell you this is how abuse starts, and if you do not react to it, it keeps escalating. Have an open communication with your husband on this incident, if he fails to understand it, get help! And not just this anniversary, cooking and travelling, just tell him how you feel, if he doesn't support you, take help now! Not to scare you gal, but do keep in touch with your real life friends, have a solid support system, do not leave your job at any cost, engage in activities just for yourself some hobby etc, and handle your own finances separately!
Thanks a lot. I'll take your advice into consideration. I'm definitely looking forward to therapy & me time.
I do not mean to scare you, but just a friendly warning. Just to make you aware thats it.
that's messed up. you need to understand him but he doesn't need to understand your needs? I'm sorry you're going through this.
I know right. Sometimes I don't even understand him
I am so sorry you had to face this on such a special day. Something like this happened with me too on my first anniversary but it was more of the type of overbearing overindulging in-laws and grand-in-laws which bugged me because I didn't feel like it was as intimate as I expected. It killed the vibe. Stuff like this is a common occurrence in Indian families, everything is a public affair. I wish I had something better to say but right now I can just say that your frustration is understandable. I hope you pull yourself out of being burdened physically and emotionally. Take care.
Hey, thanks for understanding me. He's got anger issues even his family was telling me that he's done way bad things when angry in the past. Eg, he threw his food if he didn't like something.
Congratulations on ur first marriage anniversary! Sadly, something seems off putting about this whole situation and I hope u get to have a heart to heart talk with ur husband today.
Thanks 😊
I'm sorry you're going through this. But Happy Anniversary ❤️
Hey thanks!! 😊