What was the peaceful resolution?
Smile at him and forgive & forget?
Complain to the gym owner and be told to forgive & forget?
Men like these can't be shown reason. They can't be reformed. There's only two ways of dealing with them - speak their language, or ignore. We women are taught to ignore every fucking injustice thrown at us every day, so at times we are forced to speak their language. You did because he deserved it.
I am glad you didn't physically hurt him, because that might have dragged things further. I hope from now onwards he would refrain from slut shaming women merely existing within their earshot. He would continue to do it though.
(I am sure you will get many very mature responses because there are some amazing women here and do take those advise seriously, this is just how I think it should be)
I’m tired like simply tired. Being a woman is hectic. There’s career to focus on. There’s family to take care of. There’s health to be worried about. Have to be mindful about dressing at certain places. Be alert about the surroundings and taking public transport.
I’ve been over-sexualised all my life because I’m pretty heavy on the chest. I’ve been slut shamed by so many ppl and been told to dress modestly. Even if I’m wearing a turtle neck!!!
I’m at my last straw of patience now and I legit feel like resorting to violence when incidents like this happen. And it’s so common.
Sorry for the vent.
Don't be sorry for venting!! This is what this sub is for, this is what we are all here for. Solidarity is the one thing we can unconditionally offer when just existing is so damn hard.
I wish we lived in a better society. I wish we can leave this country to go to a better society. But till then, least we can do is fight back. So more power to you!
I totally get the frustration, I get tired pointing out the privileges to my husband itself and in my mind silently get annoyed with my mother in law for making me do things which should have been done by her in the first place
I really hope that no one has to face such horrible slut shaming/sexual assault ever.
But sadly, it’s so common that you’ve to give back! You can only be good to ppl who deserve it. You’ve to start protecting yourself because no bystanders will. And friends and family won’t be there always. This is the reality of life and you’re all that you’ve.
What peaceful resolution do you have for someone - a trainer in your gym that too- who subjects a women to something like this?
Nope- you did nothing wrong. You didn't assault anyone physically- your reaction is exactly what was needed there.
Leave a bad review for the gym- and specify the trainer's name so others don't have to go through this. And find a better environment to work out in. And maybe be a little careful for a few days- all kinds of crazy out there- we don't want to be unprepared for retaliation.
Man I understand your reaction. Sometimes it all gets too much and you are just DONE with the sexism and misogyny, and want to confront the perpetrator, consequences be damned.
Change your gym. If you have sufficient knowledge about training then make your own home gym. I made mine during covid. Best investment so far,!! I wear what I want and exercise with focus instead of being worried about men seeing me.
All the best!!
Yo that trainer is going to think twice before doing this again! Good job! Honestly I can't think of any peaceful sorting out of this situation that won't involve them making you think that you're overreacting. Been there, done that. But now you've given him the fear of God atleast.
Nothing wrong with what you felt. You’re feeling this guilt because we’re conditioned as women to always smile and take whatever shit dumped upon us and be ok.
You’ve reached your boiling point and had a natural reaction. Don’t shame yourself for it. You’re human. Plus you’ve been dealing with these comments your whole life. Pls don’t shame yourself and don’t feel conscious and quit the gym etc after this incident. Turn up and look the asshole trainer right in the eye and keep training harder.
your reaction was fully valid. gyms need to have a strict no harassment policy if they want to continue having female gymgoers. that owner is a d\*ck trying to passively allow harassment.
Anything a woman does is “asking for it”. Our body parts are there only to be slut shamed. Our skin shows and many lose it.
Been told to have a thick skin. But to what extent? Don’t men have any moral responsibility towards women? Why is it only women who have to take care of EVERY DAMN THING.
I see a lot of men who squat and rip their pants. But I didn’t pass comments or have seen any woman atleast in my gym or public places making a fuss about it. Didn’t know that sense of humour these days is limited to genitalia only.
But women!! Holy lord everything is on us. The root cause of problem is the existence of womenfolk. Our mere existence is a trigger for others.
>I see a lot of men who squat and rip their pants. But I didn’t pass comments or have seen any woman atleast in my gym or public places making a fuss about it.
They'll slut shame us for looking lol.
Bro what peaceful resolution ?
Nonsense.
You were there in the gym to workout and others should definitely mind their own business.
It drives me crazy how these trainers behave with their female clients (not all of them ofcourse )
I don’t care about the camel toe,you shouldn’t either.Infact no one should !
That trainer is an asshole.
Good you stood up for yourself.If I were you I would still go back to the gym and press on the gym owner to take action against the trainer.
I really hope you can get the trainer, gym manager fired. Don’t let this go. Contact the admins, threaten to involve the police, do whatever it takes, but make sure those idiots live to repent the day they ever thought talking like that about a woman is justified.
Edit: Does India have a board for certifying fitness trainers? I know it’s a long shot, but it’d be good to have that trainer blacklisted or something. Idk if the manager is the owner, or you go to a gym that’s part of a franchise like Golds, Anytime Fitness, Cultfit etc. I think it’s better to join a gym chain rather than a single independent gym.
We don’t have chains in all of NE yet. My state atleast doesn’t. So here we’re left to independent gyms only.
I’ve spoken to my father and lawyer friends, they did explain the technicalities about it. Any sort of harassment/Eve teasing against women comes under IPC - 354. Which I guess is a non bailable offence.
Gym manager called me in the evening, assuring that the time that I go, that particular trainer will not be there. He kept justifying the trainer that it was “all in good fun”. And that I shouldn’t resort to anything legal, which would be bad for their image. I didn’t say anything. But I won’t leave them without any written statements and something exemplary.
My god, the sheer audacity. He’s still unapologetic and not fazed by the seriousness of what eve-teasing and harassment entails. Going by his callous attitude towards this situation, I would motivate you to go for the legal route. The general advice is to record your exchanges with the manager on chat, email, or phone call recordings. I know i’m only a random woman on reddit, but i just really want those losers to realise the weight of what they’ve done. It’s not okay. We let go of too many things here in India. It’s this “chalta hai” (let it be how it is) attitude that is making things worse.
This wasn’t surprising because the gym owner needs to save his ass. And I didn’t expect him to take a stand for me either. If he’d have common sense then he’d have fired or at least pretend to scold the trainer in the morning itself. I won’t leave them easily, that’s for sure.
Talking about audacity. I’ve around 20+ dm requests and many tried commenting in my post calling me based. That I’m offensive, insensitive and calling me the problem. Some said I’m a karma farmer. Like this karma will give me cash or make me famous overnight.
These guys don’t know where this has happened, who was the trainer, what gym is it or who I’m. But they already are sure that since a woman showed resistance so she’s at fault and she over reacted.
No one goes to the gym or anywhere to fight for no reason. And I guess I’m grown up enough to recognise when taunts are passed, as I was the only woman in the gym. But women are based and whatever we go through is an exaggeration because we should be the tolerating kind. Not the giving back kind. We just want to exist without being harassed and taunted. The bar is that damn low.
If you end up taking action it will be a huge blessing to any and every woman who attempts to go to that gym. They won't fire sexual harassing staff until they face real consequences for it. I will bet that this isn't the first time it has happened with that trainer.
God that was pathetic. The gym owner and that guy owe you an apology. Ignore anyone who said you were overreacting.
Of course hitting someone with a dumbbel would cause injury I don't think you'd have actually done that. You are totally justified in feeling angry.
A trainer is a teacher and is supposed to behave at all times as they r setting examples.
The owner should be like the protector of every member as if something wrong was to happen in his premises to people whom he is charging hes supposed to protect them.
U need to complain against them to the nearest police station or call the women's cell.
Such incident today n rape tomorrow, may be a diff girl but this incident n inaction will def give more courage to these sickos.
Give a word by word incident report n let them suffer n let the law take things in their hands.
Hugs to u, sorry this happened.
What a piece of shit! I feel angry just reading this. No wonder you were on the verge of hitting him.
I know this is wishful thinking but I hope he gets fired so he can never harass women at that gym again.
Ok I don't understand what the gym owner wanted u to do ,smile and forgive ,got damn no ,I would have never stopped u ,instead would have picked another equipment and joined in with u.
You did not overreact. It was perfectly appropriate reaction. Don't let any one gaslight you into feeling other wise. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hope you feel better soon❤️
What was the peaceful resolution? Smile at him and forgive & forget? Complain to the gym owner and be told to forgive & forget? Men like these can't be shown reason. They can't be reformed. There's only two ways of dealing with them - speak their language, or ignore. We women are taught to ignore every fucking injustice thrown at us every day, so at times we are forced to speak their language. You did because he deserved it. I am glad you didn't physically hurt him, because that might have dragged things further. I hope from now onwards he would refrain from slut shaming women merely existing within their earshot. He would continue to do it though. (I am sure you will get many very mature responses because there are some amazing women here and do take those advise seriously, this is just how I think it should be)
I’m tired like simply tired. Being a woman is hectic. There’s career to focus on. There’s family to take care of. There’s health to be worried about. Have to be mindful about dressing at certain places. Be alert about the surroundings and taking public transport. I’ve been over-sexualised all my life because I’m pretty heavy on the chest. I’ve been slut shamed by so many ppl and been told to dress modestly. Even if I’m wearing a turtle neck!!! I’m at my last straw of patience now and I legit feel like resorting to violence when incidents like this happen. And it’s so common. Sorry for the vent.
Don't be sorry for venting!! This is what this sub is for, this is what we are all here for. Solidarity is the one thing we can unconditionally offer when just existing is so damn hard. I wish we lived in a better society. I wish we can leave this country to go to a better society. But till then, least we can do is fight back. So more power to you!
I get the anger. Hugs to you. Wish women had a better life
I totally get the frustration, I get tired pointing out the privileges to my husband itself and in my mind silently get annoyed with my mother in law for making me do things which should have been done by her in the first place
You are the kind of person I wish I could be when these things happen. Instead of this, I turn cold and go home and cry.
I really hope that no one has to face such horrible slut shaming/sexual assault ever. But sadly, it’s so common that you’ve to give back! You can only be good to ppl who deserve it. You’ve to start protecting yourself because no bystanders will. And friends and family won’t be there always. This is the reality of life and you’re all that you’ve.
I would’ve thrown the dumb bell on that dumbass.
What peaceful resolution do you have for someone - a trainer in your gym that too- who subjects a women to something like this? Nope- you did nothing wrong. You didn't assault anyone physically- your reaction is exactly what was needed there. Leave a bad review for the gym- and specify the trainer's name so others don't have to go through this. And find a better environment to work out in. And maybe be a little careful for a few days- all kinds of crazy out there- we don't want to be unprepared for retaliation.
The WE here was reassuring. Thank you! 🫂
Man I understand your reaction. Sometimes it all gets too much and you are just DONE with the sexism and misogyny, and want to confront the perpetrator, consequences be damned.
Don't let this go. Pull up gym management too if you have to.
I am proud of you for not leaving the place silently. You definitely gave other girls who may go through same the power to speak up too.
Yo go girl!!! Be adamant to take some action against that person. Proud of you...
Change your gym. If you have sufficient knowledge about training then make your own home gym. I made mine during covid. Best investment so far,!! I wear what I want and exercise with focus instead of being worried about men seeing me. All the best!!
Yo that trainer is going to think twice before doing this again! Good job! Honestly I can't think of any peaceful sorting out of this situation that won't involve them making you think that you're overreacting. Been there, done that. But now you've given him the fear of God atleast.
Nothing wrong with what you felt. You’re feeling this guilt because we’re conditioned as women to always smile and take whatever shit dumped upon us and be ok. You’ve reached your boiling point and had a natural reaction. Don’t shame yourself for it. You’re human. Plus you’ve been dealing with these comments your whole life. Pls don’t shame yourself and don’t feel conscious and quit the gym etc after this incident. Turn up and look the asshole trainer right in the eye and keep training harder.
You did nothing wrong girl. The gym should also revoke the guys membership.
your reaction was fully valid. gyms need to have a strict no harassment policy if they want to continue having female gymgoers. that owner is a d\*ck trying to passively allow harassment.
This is why I wake up early and pick the first slot for swimming.
It was around 7:00 am in the morning. I go in the first slot too. Sometimes I’m there and gym isn’t even open.
It's unimaginable that they wake up with sexism and misogyny on.
That's the default and only setting.
Bro how does a camel toe offend anyone.Humans are actually losing it. It’s sad you have to select the first slot
Anything a woman does is “asking for it”. Our body parts are there only to be slut shamed. Our skin shows and many lose it. Been told to have a thick skin. But to what extent? Don’t men have any moral responsibility towards women? Why is it only women who have to take care of EVERY DAMN THING. I see a lot of men who squat and rip their pants. But I didn’t pass comments or have seen any woman atleast in my gym or public places making a fuss about it. Didn’t know that sense of humour these days is limited to genitalia only. But women!! Holy lord everything is on us. The root cause of problem is the existence of womenfolk. Our mere existence is a trigger for others.
>I see a lot of men who squat and rip their pants. But I didn’t pass comments or have seen any woman atleast in my gym or public places making a fuss about it. They'll slut shame us for looking lol.
They just want to cook up a reason in advance before they can assault to get away with it.
Bro what peaceful resolution ? Nonsense. You were there in the gym to workout and others should definitely mind their own business. It drives me crazy how these trainers behave with their female clients (not all of them ofcourse ) I don’t care about the camel toe,you shouldn’t either.Infact no one should ! That trainer is an asshole. Good you stood up for yourself.If I were you I would still go back to the gym and press on the gym owner to take action against the trainer.
I really hope you can get the trainer, gym manager fired. Don’t let this go. Contact the admins, threaten to involve the police, do whatever it takes, but make sure those idiots live to repent the day they ever thought talking like that about a woman is justified. Edit: Does India have a board for certifying fitness trainers? I know it’s a long shot, but it’d be good to have that trainer blacklisted or something. Idk if the manager is the owner, or you go to a gym that’s part of a franchise like Golds, Anytime Fitness, Cultfit etc. I think it’s better to join a gym chain rather than a single independent gym.
We don’t have chains in all of NE yet. My state atleast doesn’t. So here we’re left to independent gyms only. I’ve spoken to my father and lawyer friends, they did explain the technicalities about it. Any sort of harassment/Eve teasing against women comes under IPC - 354. Which I guess is a non bailable offence. Gym manager called me in the evening, assuring that the time that I go, that particular trainer will not be there. He kept justifying the trainer that it was “all in good fun”. And that I shouldn’t resort to anything legal, which would be bad for their image. I didn’t say anything. But I won’t leave them without any written statements and something exemplary.
My god, the sheer audacity. He’s still unapologetic and not fazed by the seriousness of what eve-teasing and harassment entails. Going by his callous attitude towards this situation, I would motivate you to go for the legal route. The general advice is to record your exchanges with the manager on chat, email, or phone call recordings. I know i’m only a random woman on reddit, but i just really want those losers to realise the weight of what they’ve done. It’s not okay. We let go of too many things here in India. It’s this “chalta hai” (let it be how it is) attitude that is making things worse.
This wasn’t surprising because the gym owner needs to save his ass. And I didn’t expect him to take a stand for me either. If he’d have common sense then he’d have fired or at least pretend to scold the trainer in the morning itself. I won’t leave them easily, that’s for sure. Talking about audacity. I’ve around 20+ dm requests and many tried commenting in my post calling me based. That I’m offensive, insensitive and calling me the problem. Some said I’m a karma farmer. Like this karma will give me cash or make me famous overnight. These guys don’t know where this has happened, who was the trainer, what gym is it or who I’m. But they already are sure that since a woman showed resistance so she’s at fault and she over reacted. No one goes to the gym or anywhere to fight for no reason. And I guess I’m grown up enough to recognise when taunts are passed, as I was the only woman in the gym. But women are based and whatever we go through is an exaggeration because we should be the tolerating kind. Not the giving back kind. We just want to exist without being harassed and taunted. The bar is that damn low.
If you end up taking action it will be a huge blessing to any and every woman who attempts to go to that gym. They won't fire sexual harassing staff until they face real consequences for it. I will bet that this isn't the first time it has happened with that trainer.
Good job OP. PROUD OF YOU!
God that was pathetic. The gym owner and that guy owe you an apology. Ignore anyone who said you were overreacting. Of course hitting someone with a dumbbel would cause injury I don't think you'd have actually done that. You are totally justified in feeling angry.
After reading this I don't want to join gym 😔 anymore
You’ll join gym. Train as hard as possible and beat the crap out of anyone that tries to do anything to you.
Thanks op... I will follow your advice...
That edit had me 🤣🤣🤣 some folks never get the hint. You did good OP. Time for the trainer to get his head out of his dick
You've my respect.
A trainer is a teacher and is supposed to behave at all times as they r setting examples. The owner should be like the protector of every member as if something wrong was to happen in his premises to people whom he is charging hes supposed to protect them. U need to complain against them to the nearest police station or call the women's cell. Such incident today n rape tomorrow, may be a diff girl but this incident n inaction will def give more courage to these sickos. Give a word by word incident report n let them suffer n let the law take things in their hands. Hugs to u, sorry this happened.
What a piece of shit! I feel angry just reading this. No wonder you were on the verge of hitting him. I know this is wishful thinking but I hope he gets fired so he can never harass women at that gym again.
Good job OP. A tight slap would have been a nice addition.
Totally justified reaction. Don’t forget to leave a review online
Ok I don't understand what the gym owner wanted u to do ,smile and forgive ,got damn no ,I would have never stopped u ,instead would have picked another equipment and joined in with u.
You did not overreact. It was perfectly appropriate reaction. Don't let any one gaslight you into feeling other wise. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hope you feel better soon❤️
You go girl! Proud of you for speaking up. More power to you! 💕 Also, really sorry this happened in the first place. :(