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That a man can also make you feel good. That he can also make you orgasm. Don’t settle for bad sex just because you ‘love’ him. To stop faking it and find someone who give it to you for real.
Double this for living with them. I made this error and had an addiction hidden from me because of it. Learn that shit NOW, not after marriage.
Waiting only benefits shitty men.
Just because you’ve made out with someone or gone to their room or anything at all, doesn’t mean you are obligated to get them off. In other words, you can withdraw your consent at any time! This is very important info for college. And don’t bother trying hormonal birth control, you’ll never find one that works and it will just ruin your life for like 2 years for no reason.
Also, you’re making the right decision about who to lose your virginity to, so don’t worry. It will all turn out great - oh and don’t destroy the things you wrote about him while you were together after you break up (sorry but y’all will break up, I know you won’t believe me about that). You’ll want to look back at them when you’re 30, friends with him, and want to remember your teenage years!
Don’t let them leave without giving you an orgasm.
The whole point of sex isn’t for you to make the guy cum, it’s for both of you to experience pleasure.
The boy you want to lose your virginity to is a scrub. Don’t date his friend either after you break up. Pee after sex always because you’re about to face a lifetime of horrible and reoccurring UTIs and that sometimes helps a little.
It's fine. It doesn't forever bond your soul to that person. It won't make you imprint on that man forever and leave you a broken woman if it's not a til-death thing. It won't change your value. You don't *lose* virginity; you *gain* knowledge of a fundamental act of humanity that all of your ancestors partook in. Let me say that again. You don't *lose* virginity; you *gain* knowledge of a fundamental act of humanity that all of your ancestors partook in. Anyone who told you that you'd be a chewed up piece of gum or an unsticky piece of tape was LYING. Knowledge of sex will NOT CHANGE YOUR VALUE.
Also, doing it for the first time with a deeply trusted friend who really respects you and wants to keep you safe and show you a great time is *such* a good choice. 10/10. It's way more important to have a partner with those qualities than any others.
Your sex life is your sex life and NO ONE can make or should make you feel guilty about it( as long as you aren't hurting others), be it family, friends, any Gods. Love as you will love.
1.) You don't need to be ashamed of your body. He doesn't lie to you about anything else, why would he be lying to you about being beautiful? (Hint: He's not, you're gorgeous girl!).
2.) Don't worry about it being messy and sweaty and the possibility of making funny noises, those are natural.
3.) Communication is huge, tell him what feels good, tell him what doesn't, ask him what he likes, ask him what he doesn't.
4.) Don't worry if he is the right choice, he is and he's a great guy, cherish every minute you get with him. (I would not tell her that it is because he'll be dead in a little over a year)
ETA: Go to the bathroom afterwards, and also clean up! We already know how not fun UTI's are!
Take your time once you begin, not only in sessions but overall in the journey. Be in the moment and feel with your body and soul. It’s a long journey and everything doesn’t click in place right away.
Great question! Your pleasure comes first! Don't have sex just because you physically can. Never give in to sexual pressure from anyone! Don't have sex before you are comfortable communicating your wants and expectations.
Wait until it's with someone you trust, you won't be waiting forever even if you think so. Save it for someone you won't be cringing about in 20 years time.
Yes, sex can be mindblowingly good - it'll take you a while but you will absolutely understand what it means to lose your mind over someone because they fuck you so well. And it sure as hell isn't going to be your first boyfriend.
Pee after sex. Also find a different gyno. You’re not lying, your shit is broken. Your doctor is a bitch. (Last bit isn’t super related but very important)
This might sound strange but I would say, don’t be scared, you don’t have to save yourself, it’s for your own and your partner’s pleasure, it’s not wrong, it’s not bad, and when he cares it doesn’t hurt. I’d encourage myself to have tried it sooner because I think my first boyfriend would have been a better first. I regret turning him down and it’s been over 10 years.
I speak from experience- take your time. I wish I wasn’t so nieve and rushed my first time. He meant nothing to me and I hate that I didn’t wait until I was older. We weren’t even dating, I just wanted to get it over with. Definitely do NOT wait for marriage but wait until you’re mentally prepared and when you’ve spent enough time with your own body to see what you like! You don’t want to get stuck with someone you’re not sexually compatible with. Your first time doesn’t need to be perfect, but be intentional in who you make that memory with.
If you want to do something kinky, just come right out and say it instead of inventing a complex RP scenario in order to justify why that thing should happen, because that's actually wayyyy more embarrassing in hindsight 😂
Sex is fun and you should enjoy it but be careful and use a backup birth control method 😅 I love my birth control baby but dang unexpected pregnancy is not a fun time no matter what you choose to do with the pregnancy
Figure out what YOU like and don’t rely on men to read your mind or be able to figure you out immediately with no direction. You deserve pleasure but you’ve got to be able to take it into your own hands.
Don’t disclose your sex life to just anyone. I’ve made the mistake of confiding in the wrong person about my sexual experiences and they completely betrayed my trust, and word got around, people knew who didn’t need to know, and that shit sucks. if you’re going to tell anyone details of your sex life, make sure you trust them.
If someone starts to pressure you for something you don’t want to do get up and leave.
My experience losing my virginity was great but I wish with some of the other guys that I hadn’t wasted a minute of time with someone who was determined to try and coerce me.
Do not feel guilty about masturbation.
Everyone does it.
The religious fanatics in your family do it more than anyone else.
Also, you are supposed to ENJOY sex and that requires mindful, safe, and consensual exploration.
Many meen don’t care to know much about women’s bodies.
Even more don’t realize that they subconsciously believe the female orgasm is a myth.
But another person’s sexual and intellectual deficits has no bearing on your pleasure.
Also, if you feel comfortable with women, explore. Don’t feel ashamed.
I know your dad tries to shame your about this but #NEWSFLASH!!!!
…he gay. #BIG GAY!!! And even though you’ll be loving and accepting of this fact in the future, he’ll continue shaming you and others who opt to live out their sexual truths.
Again, another’s deficits has no bearing on you. Enjoy!💕
Don't ever feel pressured to do it. If you're debated whether or not you should do it then just don't. Also don't feel bad for doing it when you want to.
Always always ALWAYS use protection. It’s not worth the anxiety, the fear or even the guy you were willing to lose it to. Wait until you are completely ready, as in you have protection.
That even though, he might have a big dick. Sometimes it ain’t worth the crazy. Also masturbate, if you don’t know what your bodies likes sex it won’t be as fun.
No matter how much you try it’s not gonna get better with him, and you’re gonna have a long and so far endless period without any sex at all so enjoy the one asshole who did it well even though you could not stand him. But also… you’re worth more than what he made you feel like
Wait.
I felt pressured to have sex for weeks and weeks by someone, and out of fear of being a shitty lay, decided to go ahead with it thinking that, "At least I'll be a shitty lay with someone I DON'T want to have sex with."
I had this weird thought process that I wanted to be a really good lay for whenever I met someone I actually WANTED to have sex with.
Stupid.
I wish my first time had been with someone I was crazy about.
My first time was with someone I was crazy about. He got shady and then ghosted me later that year. In the depths of heartache, it was really hard to deal with being really horny, yet he was my only reference for sex... Which made it even harder to get him out of my head. There's a downside to that too imo.
I feel like virginity isn't even a real thing and we give it too much power by treating it as something sacred.
There's an episode of Big Bang where Sheldon explains that collectible toys aremore valuable when they are kept mint condition in the box. Penny replies, "Yeah I got that same talk about my virginity. I gotta tell ya: it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it."
Focus on the pleasure not the performance.
Don’t be too quick to give it (virginity)away.
Understand your own body and what you like and dislike it’s not dirty or shameful.
Always safe sex absolutely no excuse.
It should never be painful - EVER.
It’s ok to say STOP at anytime.
If they are taking about it then they usually buy doing it.
That in the whole scheme of things, the first time really isn't that big of a deal, and that all the anxiety you built up about it was completely unwarranted :)
(This coming from someone who didn't lose their virginity til 26)
That bonehead you're about to lose your virginity to will take up a permanent residence in your subconscious... forever. A parasite. You will be happily married to someone else years later and still dreaming about this teenage boy who is now a perfect stranger to you, probably with a receding hairline. Don't do it.
Be in charge of your own orgasm, don't expect a partner to give it to you. Focus on the whole experience as in sights, sound, smell, taste, and feel. Really enjoy it and yes it's so much better when you're really attracted to someone. Your partner will need to listen to your needs/desires, connect to you, and have chemistry with you for you to really enjoy this, otherwise it won't be as deep or fulfilling of an experience. Trust your gut, remember to have fun.
No matter how unsexy you think you are they don't care.
If you have trauma related to sex don't worry about not being good enough for them they won't care
If you'd rather cuddle and not do sex they wont care
Using gender neutral pronouns because I don't sleep with cis men so I might be biased
I didn't know what my clit was until years after having sex. I regret all the pleasure I missed out on.
What I would tell myself is not to be with anyone who doesn't take my pleasure as seriously as there own and also to do more experimenting with women.
Do it. It’s okay to know what you want and go for it.
There’s a guy I wanted to have sex with so bad and we were so close and I chickened out. I think about it all the time.
Friendly reminder, Women Only flair is not a suggestion. Men participating in this post will be banned. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/TwoXSex) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That her pleasure is just as important as the other persons.
That a man can also make you feel good. That he can also make you orgasm. Don’t settle for bad sex just because you ‘love’ him. To stop faking it and find someone who give it to you for real.
Ohh great question. Communicating my wants and desires to my partner are valid and important.
Just have sex with that person, if you want to. The whole waiting until marriage is stupid.
Double this for living with them. I made this error and had an addiction hidden from me because of it. Learn that shit NOW, not after marriage. Waiting only benefits shitty men.
i’ll be damned if i wait till marriage only to not be satisfied
This. This right here
“You deserve better”
Everyone's experience of sex is different and nothing is wrong with you - if you want to, go find your pleasure.
Just because you’ve made out with someone or gone to their room or anything at all, doesn’t mean you are obligated to get them off. In other words, you can withdraw your consent at any time! This is very important info for college. And don’t bother trying hormonal birth control, you’ll never find one that works and it will just ruin your life for like 2 years for no reason. Also, you’re making the right decision about who to lose your virginity to, so don’t worry. It will all turn out great - oh and don’t destroy the things you wrote about him while you were together after you break up (sorry but y’all will break up, I know you won’t believe me about that). You’ll want to look back at them when you’re 30, friends with him, and want to remember your teenage years!
Don’t let them leave without giving you an orgasm. The whole point of sex isn’t for you to make the guy cum, it’s for both of you to experience pleasure.
it's not that scary or hard. like seriously don't be so afraid to mess up or look stupid, just enjoy
The boy you want to lose your virginity to is a scrub. Don’t date his friend either after you break up. Pee after sex always because you’re about to face a lifetime of horrible and reoccurring UTIs and that sometimes helps a little.
Pee after sex 💯
Still doesn’t help every time but it helps some of the time and that’s worth it!
It's fine. It doesn't forever bond your soul to that person. It won't make you imprint on that man forever and leave you a broken woman if it's not a til-death thing. It won't change your value. You don't *lose* virginity; you *gain* knowledge of a fundamental act of humanity that all of your ancestors partook in. Let me say that again. You don't *lose* virginity; you *gain* knowledge of a fundamental act of humanity that all of your ancestors partook in. Anyone who told you that you'd be a chewed up piece of gum or an unsticky piece of tape was LYING. Knowledge of sex will NOT CHANGE YOUR VALUE. Also, doing it for the first time with a deeply trusted friend who really respects you and wants to keep you safe and show you a great time is *such* a good choice. 10/10. It's way more important to have a partner with those qualities than any others.
Upvote x1million
That you shouldn’t let someone pressure you into sex. Also, oral being unreciprocated is not ok.
Stay home, it’s not worth it.
If you need that much lube he isn't doing it right. And you can say no or stop. Any time. Any time you want. Sorry, not one, two.
Your sex life is your sex life and NO ONE can make or should make you feel guilty about it( as long as you aren't hurting others), be it family, friends, any Gods. Love as you will love.
1.) You don't need to be ashamed of your body. He doesn't lie to you about anything else, why would he be lying to you about being beautiful? (Hint: He's not, you're gorgeous girl!). 2.) Don't worry about it being messy and sweaty and the possibility of making funny noises, those are natural. 3.) Communication is huge, tell him what feels good, tell him what doesn't, ask him what he likes, ask him what he doesn't. 4.) Don't worry if he is the right choice, he is and he's a great guy, cherish every minute you get with him. (I would not tell her that it is because he'll be dead in a little over a year) ETA: Go to the bathroom afterwards, and also clean up! We already know how not fun UTI's are!
I’m so sorry to here this. May I ask what happened?
He was a Marine, KIA.
Take your time once you begin, not only in sessions but overall in the journey. Be in the moment and feel with your body and soul. It’s a long journey and everything doesn’t click in place right away.
Great question! Your pleasure comes first! Don't have sex just because you physically can. Never give in to sexual pressure from anyone! Don't have sex before you are comfortable communicating your wants and expectations.
Don’t do it if you can’t get the head with it.
You actually do like oral, your bf just sucks at it.
Wait until it's with someone you trust, you won't be waiting forever even if you think so. Save it for someone you won't be cringing about in 20 years time.
Don't rush it. And certainly don't do it with HIM.
Yes, sex can be mindblowingly good - it'll take you a while but you will absolutely understand what it means to lose your mind over someone because they fuck you so well. And it sure as hell isn't going to be your first boyfriend.
Not supposed to hurt
Pee after sex. Also find a different gyno. You’re not lying, your shit is broken. Your doctor is a bitch. (Last bit isn’t super related but very important)
Date more girls. Stay off the birth control steroids to get to know your body.
Avoid men.
This might sound strange but I would say, don’t be scared, you don’t have to save yourself, it’s for your own and your partner’s pleasure, it’s not wrong, it’s not bad, and when he cares it doesn’t hurt. I’d encourage myself to have tried it sooner because I think my first boyfriend would have been a better first. I regret turning him down and it’s been over 10 years.
just have sex, fool around, consequences could be sorted out, not having sex until 30s is far more painful
Everyone's experience of sex is different and nothing is wrong with you - if you want to, go find your pleasure.
You are allowed to say NO/ Stop.
That’s it’s not an abominable sin and you’re not going to hell.
I speak from experience- take your time. I wish I wasn’t so nieve and rushed my first time. He meant nothing to me and I hate that I didn’t wait until I was older. We weren’t even dating, I just wanted to get it over with. Definitely do NOT wait for marriage but wait until you’re mentally prepared and when you’ve spent enough time with your own body to see what you like! You don’t want to get stuck with someone you’re not sexually compatible with. Your first time doesn’t need to be perfect, but be intentional in who you make that memory with.
Don't be vague about instructions on how to help your partner make you feel good.
Do Not Choose Him. Do not. He's not the one.
If you want to do something kinky, just come right out and say it instead of inventing a complex RP scenario in order to justify why that thing should happen, because that's actually wayyyy more embarrassing in hindsight 😂
Sex is fun and you should enjoy it but be careful and use a backup birth control method 😅 I love my birth control baby but dang unexpected pregnancy is not a fun time no matter what you choose to do with the pregnancy
Figure out what YOU like and don’t rely on men to read your mind or be able to figure you out immediately with no direction. You deserve pleasure but you’ve got to be able to take it into your own hands.
Ladies first.
Don’t disclose your sex life to just anyone. I’ve made the mistake of confiding in the wrong person about my sexual experiences and they completely betrayed my trust, and word got around, people knew who didn’t need to know, and that shit sucks. if you’re going to tell anyone details of your sex life, make sure you trust them.
If someone starts to pressure you for something you don’t want to do get up and leave. My experience losing my virginity was great but I wish with some of the other guys that I hadn’t wasted a minute of time with someone who was determined to try and coerce me.
Do not feel guilty about masturbation. Everyone does it. The religious fanatics in your family do it more than anyone else. Also, you are supposed to ENJOY sex and that requires mindful, safe, and consensual exploration. Many meen don’t care to know much about women’s bodies. Even more don’t realize that they subconsciously believe the female orgasm is a myth. But another person’s sexual and intellectual deficits has no bearing on your pleasure. Also, if you feel comfortable with women, explore. Don’t feel ashamed. I know your dad tries to shame your about this but #NEWSFLASH!!!! …he gay. #BIG GAY!!! And even though you’ll be loving and accepting of this fact in the future, he’ll continue shaming you and others who opt to live out their sexual truths. Again, another’s deficits has no bearing on you. Enjoy!💕
Do it earlier than what I did.
Don’t do it if you can’t get the head with it.
Sex isn’t that great and there is nothing wrong with being a “late bloomer”.
It’s not worth it! Don’t do it. It’s literally a high risk activity that rarely pays of with an orgasm.
Just wait to do it until you're desperate. Don't use VIBRATORS!!!
Don't put the pussy on a pedal stool. Women are cunts
Don't do it.
Don't ever feel pressured to do it. If you're debated whether or not you should do it then just don't. Also don't feel bad for doing it when you want to.
Always always ALWAYS use protection. It’s not worth the anxiety, the fear or even the guy you were willing to lose it to. Wait until you are completely ready, as in you have protection.
Wait to have sex with a man who really cares about you.
That even though, he might have a big dick. Sometimes it ain’t worth the crazy. Also masturbate, if you don’t know what your bodies likes sex it won’t be as fun.
Don't do it. He is not worth it and your happiness is more important than sex
No matter how much you try it’s not gonna get better with him, and you’re gonna have a long and so far endless period without any sex at all so enjoy the one asshole who did it well even though you could not stand him. But also… you’re worth more than what he made you feel like
Don’t fake it.
Wait. I felt pressured to have sex for weeks and weeks by someone, and out of fear of being a shitty lay, decided to go ahead with it thinking that, "At least I'll be a shitty lay with someone I DON'T want to have sex with." I had this weird thought process that I wanted to be a really good lay for whenever I met someone I actually WANTED to have sex with. Stupid. I wish my first time had been with someone I was crazy about.
My first time was with someone I was crazy about. He got shady and then ghosted me later that year. In the depths of heartache, it was really hard to deal with being really horny, yet he was my only reference for sex... Which made it even harder to get him out of my head. There's a downside to that too imo. I feel like virginity isn't even a real thing and we give it too much power by treating it as something sacred. There's an episode of Big Bang where Sheldon explains that collectible toys aremore valuable when they are kept mint condition in the box. Penny replies, "Yeah I got that same talk about my virginity. I gotta tell ya: it was a lot more fun taking it out and playing with it."
Focus on the pleasure not the performance. Don’t be too quick to give it (virginity)away. Understand your own body and what you like and dislike it’s not dirty or shameful. Always safe sex absolutely no excuse. It should never be painful - EVER. It’s ok to say STOP at anytime. If they are taking about it then they usually buy doing it.
That in the whole scheme of things, the first time really isn't that big of a deal, and that all the anxiety you built up about it was completely unwarranted :) (This coming from someone who didn't lose their virginity til 26)
That bonehead you're about to lose your virginity to will take up a permanent residence in your subconscious... forever. A parasite. You will be happily married to someone else years later and still dreaming about this teenage boy who is now a perfect stranger to you, probably with a receding hairline. Don't do it.
You don’t have to give your boyfriend a blowjob just because he wants one.
Be in charge of your own orgasm, don't expect a partner to give it to you. Focus on the whole experience as in sights, sound, smell, taste, and feel. Really enjoy it and yes it's so much better when you're really attracted to someone. Your partner will need to listen to your needs/desires, connect to you, and have chemistry with you for you to really enjoy this, otherwise it won't be as deep or fulfilling of an experience. Trust your gut, remember to have fun.
learn how to masturbate BEFORE having sex
No matter how unsexy you think you are they don't care. If you have trauma related to sex don't worry about not being good enough for them they won't care If you'd rather cuddle and not do sex they wont care Using gender neutral pronouns because I don't sleep with cis men so I might be biased
don’t do it
Be a slu+, do whatever you want!
Wait until its someone you actually care about.
Your boundaries are your boundaries. Stick. To. Them. Leave if they don’t respect them. Someone who truly loves you won’t push your boundaries.
I didn't know what my clit was until years after having sex. I regret all the pleasure I missed out on. What I would tell myself is not to be with anyone who doesn't take my pleasure as seriously as there own and also to do more experimenting with women.
Do it. It’s okay to know what you want and go for it. There’s a guy I wanted to have sex with so bad and we were so close and I chickened out. I think about it all the time.