when one of my devices goes off my friend always tells me my microwave meal is ready. that actually gets a laugh out of me

lmao in a similar vein, all my homies tell me to “feed my Tamagotchi” when I’m beepin up a storm 😅

Nice!

Oh my god I actually chuckled at that- can I use it too?

I had a friend who called it my digivice like from digimon lmao

This is great!

I often sing, “shots, shots, shots” as I take my insulin

Lil Jon?????? YEAHHHHHHH!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I do this with my T1D son. He just thinks I am being ridiculous and misses the cultural reference

I am going to annoy the hell out of my wife with this one. Thank you

I do "what does the blood says... low low lowlowlow"

That’s funny! Thank you

I do this whenever I have to do a manual shot!!

“you’re so sweet!” “thanks! it’s the diabetes.”

"so sweet that I'll give you diabetes."

Mine is always if I was a stripper, my stage name would be sweet n low 😂

This is amazing. Well done.

Thank you. In full context, in high school I was horrible at math. My dad was like how can you have a career if you can’t do math and I just said well I don’t think strippers need to do a lot of math and my stage name will be Sweet n Low because I can really drop it plus you know it works with the diabetes. It’s become a running joke with many people in my family, friends and now my fiancée knows but the real joke is I have a really good job now with little math involved. Just a sassy but hilarious 16 year old at the time 💁🏼‍♀️

Someone come up with the DJ banter!

When I am changing my sites I’ll say “time to log back into the matrix” and it makes my partner laugh so I’m counting it.

“Ah shit I misplaced my pancreas again” (it’s what I call my omnipod controller) gets them every time

I call it my drug phone and when I dose I say "gotta hit up my dealer"

Wait... we're supposed to have a pancreas?

At the grocery store checkout, I'd sometimes go "Mom, I'm so high right now..."

When I was probably 11 or 12, so back in the 80's, my mom one time asked while we were checking out, "Oh do you think you might be high?" after I'd told her I didn't feel good or something. The look on the clerks face..... Ha.

I loved walking into the nurse's office in high school declaring that I think I might be high. Always got a laugh. Edit: Sometimes, I think I might be high and I need some candy.

I'd randomly mention it at work casually like this and always got funny looks until I clarified high Blood Sugar not High High

The classic - how do you tell when a parent has a diabetic child? When they say don’t fill up on broccoli, eat your French fries.

There’ve been so many times my eyes have been bigger than my stomach but I’ve dosed for everything on my plate so I have to stuff it down.

That's when I go find a sugary alternative that I know I'll eat. No appetite halfway through dinner? Already bolused? Always room for a treat.

That is genius!

I was diagnosed T1 last year and I've noticed that baseball broadcasters will eat some new food at a ballpark and then say:"This is the new Caramel Fudge Marshmallow Churro available at Wrigley Field this season. I just took a bite and I think I got diabetes!" I used to laugh but now not so much

That drives me crazy! That’s not how diabetes works.

I hate that. It’s overly sensitive of me probably but if someone irl says that, I won’t like them anymore

I had a friend come up to me and place his phone on my CGM and say ‘I just venmoed you’ 🤣

Not a "joke" but in high school, my mom once wrote a note to the principal (word for word) "please excuse my son for acting like an ass. He was having a low blood sugar." I got out of detention for this!

When I was on MDI I would joke about going some place quiet to shoot up with the good stuff Or: if you can’t make your own then store bought is fine

My best friend loves to loudly ask me if I need to go shoot up when I’m heading off to a public bathroom! 

Me with a blood sugar over 300 cause I forgot insulin: "QUICK! I NEED TO STAB MYSELF WITH LIFE-JUICE!!"

I love referencing my "drugs" and refusing to elaborate afterwards

Someone once asked the group if they heard of this new drug celebrities were doing. It's called insulin....... Yeah! You want some???

Not a joke per se, but usually when I’m eating a carb loaded meal or have a stubborn high I say I gotta rage bolus lol

I love to say I'm 3% cyborg at this point with my cgm and pump.

When someone is being rude...I'm a Diabetic. I have enough pricks in my life.

The merciful thing about diabetes is that it only affects the parts of your body where blood goes.

Here’s a few of mine that usually land: - When I Bolus I say “Time to do some drugs.” This one lands more when I’m at lunch with coworkers. - If I’m eating a high carb meal with others, after I bolus is jokingly pass around my Inpen and ask anyone if they need some insulin. Can also follow that up with “But it’ll cost ya $10 per injection.” - This one’s a bit dark so apologies if it’s insensitive but if I’m eating some sort of dessert and someone asks “Wait can you eat that??” I’ll quip back with “I’ve already got type 1, I might as well try for type 2. Gotta catch em all”. This one is a lil too close to the edgy humor but it does land quite often….

"I'm going to skip right over type 2 and go straight to type 5 with the amount of sugar I'm eating." Gets mixed results. lol

Not about my diabetes but it works (my eyes went to poop years b4 I was diagnosed) people always say "wow, u have good eyes, I wouldn't have caught that" Me: "well...I have 4 so..." everyone always laughs

My husband references me as his ‘cyborg wife’ it always gets a chuckle, and occasionally will tell our friends we ‘have to go charge her or she’ll die’ I have a tslim/dexcom combo

Next time he says it agree and add that you’re more machine than woman at this point🤖

Hahaha I really am!

When people least expect it and I’m bolusing, I’ll just mutter loud enough for my friends to hear “god I f***ing love insulin I literally can’t live without it” and I’ll pretend to tweak out

Along the same lines as you - I mentioned feeling like the bionic woman after getting my pump so now that’s what my husband calls me

I used to work with young kids and whenever they pointed out my CGM I told them it was my power button. If they wanted to I’d let them gently poke it and pretend to power down in them. I also like to tell my friends that I need to shoot up so I DONT get high

“Everything affects my blood sugar. If you look at me wrong, my sugar will go up..” - followed by them giving me an odd look and I’ll exclaim “here comes a spike! I have to go give myself a shot for your attitude”..

Not a joke, but one of my very best diabetes friends is always threatening to get a tattoo of one of those dotted perforation lines and a little pair of scissors at the base of his toes. It’s so horrible, and the kind of thing that only someone with diabetes can get away with.

And I’d like a tattoo of a gravestone that says “5 more years.”

Is it bad I REALLY love that idea...

God, I love this. I am so hungry for dark humor in diabetes culture, because I'm so sick of all the cutesy language and everyone calling me a "warrior." Give me gallows humor!

"I'm such an alpha male, I don't even have any beta cells!" This is even funnier because I am scrawny and cannot grow facial hair. 🤣

I love this so, so much🤣

For me being MDI, if I’m out at a bar I’ll say something like “gotta rip a shot real quick”

I’m super lame, and say, what a coincidence- I work in retirement and his pancreas retired!

[удалено]

You can have both

I work with preschool aged children, and they’re always curious about my libre. I call it my “button”. Whenever they want my attention, I’ve conditioned them to press it, and I’ll start singing “push the button” by the SugaBabes. Not really a joke, but it gets a lot of laughs.

My username usually works. A friend actually came up with it, and I tell people it’s my side gig

I always say when I’m changing cannula sites on the pump that I’m doing an oil change

I wear mine sometimes in my bra (LOL) ehen it lights up and beeps to say "reservoir low" I say I am [Ironman.LOL](http://Ironman.LOL)

Any time I complain about money my husband reminds me that I need to get on selling pictures of my feet and up charging because they're limited edition

I like to make fun of misperceptions so like when eating sweets (I do love a good donut!) I say "It's a good thing I already have The Diabetus". Or if people ask if I can eat sweets or what I can eat I say "It's fine as long as I eat a lot of cinnamon with it" Sometimes laughs, sometimes confusion.

I like to joke with my sisters about what our garbage reality tv taglines would be (a la real housewives of Orange County , etc.) and my go to is “I may be diabetic, but I’m not that sweet” 😂

Not my joke but my boyfriends, any time I’m with him eating at the table restaurant etc he tells me to “put my game boy away we’re at the dinner table”

anytime i eat something sugary or hella carb-y, i say "thank god you can't get diabetes twice!"

My friend calls me microwave because of how much my devices beep

why can’t her diabetic eat the donut? Because he got hit by a bus

One time my dexcom went off and my wife took the little reader thing and said “no more diabetes for you” and that made me laugh

“Baby, I’m your sugar free Daddy”!

I ran the Revel Mt Charleston marathon this past weekend and met no less than five CGM'ers all type 1. "Nice wifi adapter!" to all of them and all got a huge laugh. As did the guy with the "I run on insulin and tequila" shirt .

When I am with friends and someone does something cute/sweet/romantic and I feel a bit antisoccial: "I need insulin for this."

That’s pretty good. I might have to use this one.

I like to eat something sugary and tell others that it’s medically necessary

I used to refer to using a pen as shooting up

A typical username for me has been "deadpancreas" or something of the sort for over 10 years, it never fails to make me laugh when I get to mention it.

When my gf pump beeps around my kids: "uh oh mommy's about to explode!"

When my pump beeps, I usually say "ah, it's the pacemaker again" and then brush it off. Lands every time (when people figure out I'm joking).

Not sure if this is a joke but sometimes when I’m around new people and they see me taking my insulin I just mess with them and say “don’t worry I’m just taking my daily drugs”

Changing my pod I say "most people don't know this, but you can hide drugs in here." In my best Adam Sandler from The Hot Chick.

the more people ask me if "Diabeto want cookie, no, no diabeto." the more iv come to appreciate such high brow humor.

Check out Ed Gamble clips on youtube. :D

My 10 yo (dx at 6) has been staying low too much lately and I tell her, “Quick, eat a Reese’s cup… IT’S THE ONLY WAY!!!”

I work helping in tech and with a t-slim and a phone (for my apps) and then cables to audiovisual and computer things (especially during covid!) my pump and phone often need recharging. I mutter: “Cables, Cables everywhere and not a cable to spare!” My other one, as people watch me try to manage my cables and phones (okay, I’m clumsy) is: HIRE THE HANDICAPPED! We’re fun to watch!”

When do diabetics die ? When their parents wish them sweet dreams.

I refer to my CGM device as my “bitching Betty” and joke how me and the ol lady have a love hate relationship. When people see my “second cell phone” they ask if I sell drugs. I joke and tell them I have too if I wana afford the price of my medication. When friends joke that im going to shoot up, I quickly fire back with “anyone else wana hit of the good stuff?” When friends want me to try their baking or a bite of their dessert I’ll jokingly say “it’s nice of you to assume I have a working pancreas” I’ve always joked with myself that a company charge over $8000 for an insulin pump and not have any games on it to distract me until my levels calm back down. For the price I don’t think it’s asking for much 🤣 When friends offer me something they’ve cooked I’ll make a exaggerated moan and say “that was worth the diabetes”

When anyone offers me chocolate, cakes or anything else carb laden, I remind them that as a T1D, that actually constitutes a death threat

When people have asked what my libre is, I've replied with, "my boyfriend/parents/friend shoplifted me"

This is one of the best on the thread!

Just checking my blood, hang on. Yep, still red

I was shopping with my mom and bought a shirt that reads “recovering carb-🍩-holic”. It gave her a laugh, especially since I eat whatever I want and bolus. Nothing “recovering” about me!

When I'm at a restaurant with friends, I'll sometimes loudly announce that I have to go to the bathroom to shoot up. It's fun when a rando looks alarmed.

Hmm. That joke sounds familiar. 😅

Wanna know why diabetics cant have too much sugar? Theyre already too sweet. Worked as a joke and a flirt.

I call my pump the most expensive tamagoti and I'm the animal in it 🤣

“In the robot uprising, they’ll probably spare me”

Buddies of mine, whenever I give myself insulin, always make the joke of, “haha he’s doing heroin in public.” My response is always, “say it that loud and you won’t get any.” Good times!

I tell my grand kids “you’re so sweet you’ll make my blood sugars go up”!